The Feed My Health Podcast

The Last Time You'll Ever "Start Over"

• Rosalind Tapper

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How many times have you said,
 "Right — Monday I’m starting fresh…”
…only to be off track by Wednesday?

It’s not that you’re lazy.
 It’s not that you lack willpower.
 It’s that you’ve broken so many promises to yourself, you’ve stopped believing you can do this at all.

You scroll. You save the healthy recipes. You listen to the podcasts.
 But when it comes to actually doing the thing…
You freeze. You doubt. You play small.
Because failing again feels too painful.

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the real reason you feel stuck — and it has nothing to do with food.

I’ll share what it looked like for me — after three kids, when I was waking up in a body that didn’t feel like mine and living a life that felt... flat. Like this version of me was all I had left.

The truth? That’s not the end of your story.
 But rebuilding trust in yourself takes something different:
 💥 Small promises.
 💥 Daily follow-through.
 💥 Choosing progress over perfection.

You don’t need more information.
 You need a way back to you — one step, one meal, one moment at a time.

This could be the last time you ever “start again.”
 And it starts with a simple question:
 What if you chose to believe in yourself — even just for today?


👉 We don’t just help you lose weight - we help you keep it off for good. If you’re serious about breaking free from quick fixes, my team and I will transform your daily habits so your results last a lifetime.

JOIN Feed My Health Today!

✨ Not ready to dive all the way in yet? That’s okay.
If you know something has to change but you’re not quite ready for the full programme, I’ve created two simple ways to step into my world and start building momentum:

🌸 The Confidence Kickstart (FREE Telegram Group)
This is your safe space to get inspired, learn bite-sized mindset strategies, and start feeling more in control of your health and body again. It’s where you’ll get practical tools, motivation, and a taste of what’s possible for you when you stop putting yourself last.

🔥 The Body Confidence Club (£22 right now)
If you’re ready to do more than just watch from the sidelines and want to start implementing real changes, this is your next step. Inside you’ll get structured guidance, simple actions to follow, and the accountability to finally follow through. (The price will be increasing soon, so now is the best time to jump in!)

Speaker 1:

Today we're going to be talking about something really real and a little bit vulnerable, and something that I see so many women be held back by. I've been held back by it for so, so many years and I'm seeing it over and over again right now. Women who are being crippled and not pursuing their dreams and what they're really made for because of this thing. Women who are feeling stuck when it comes to their health, when it comes to their weight and when it comes to their self-worth and what they truly believe is possible for them. And this is often masked in thinking that you lack knowledge, that you just don't have any control around food, that you are a foodie. You'll start giving yourself labels like I'm a foodie, I just love my food, I eat healthy, but I just eat too much of it. And we kind of in the core of what we're feeling, we don't actually sit with that and question why we're struggling or why we're stuck or why we're not moving forwards, and we use these labels as ways to kind of almost self-soothe ourselves, to give us excuses, to give us reasons why we are staying stuck. We're going to talk about trust and we're going to talk about fear trust in yourself, trust in your ability to follow through with things that you're going to, that you say you're going to follow through with trust, that change is actually even possible for you at midlife. And if you've ever said to yourself, maybe internally or out loud to a friend or family member, that you always fall off the wagon or I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to stick to anything, then this episode is truly going to be for you. So I want to talk about the pain beneath these patterns. So I want to ask you something how many times have you actually said to yourself and again, this could be internally, it could be externally. I'll start again on Monday. Or I just need to be more disciplined, I just need this thing, or I just need this approach, or I just really struggle with the all or nothing mindset.

Speaker 1:

If it sounds like surface level stuff, right, it sounds like like, and it is it's the mask that we are wearing. But underneath, when you take that mask off, it's actually grief, it's actually exhaustion, it's a total loss of self-trust. It's showing you that you're scared to try again. And this is not because you're lazy or you don't actually have willpower or any of the other things that we want to believe, because it makes it easier to believe those things, but because you're actually tired of failing and you see failure as something really really terrible, really terrible. And every single human, whether you are a man, a woman, six, 10 years old, whatever every human is designed to try to avoid failure. Okay, so please know that this isn't just a you thing, this is an every single human being thing.

Speaker 1:

You're tired of failing, but you're afraid that failing again is going to mean something about you. It's going to mean what do people think of me? And you're tired of breaking your own promises. You're tired of watching other women seem to get what they want in life. Achieve things, get those promotions you know. Go to the gym when you feel really uncomfortable to do so. Achieve weight loss when you've been. Go to the gym when you feel really uncomfortable to do so.

Speaker 1:

Achieve weight loss when you've been struggling for years achieving all these things, and you're tired of watching them do it while you stay stuck and you're actually not physically stuck, you are stuck in your own head. There is a little voice inside your head that says what if I try again and prove to myself that I really can't do this. That's actually what you want. You actually want that assurance that you were right. Okay, and that sounds really, really crazy, but every time you try again and you struggle, it's reaffirming what you think is true, and so it gives you more ammunition to go. Well, I tried it before and it didn't work out. So what's the point? It's allowing those excuses to build and build and build, and it's like the lie right, if you tell yourself a lie enough times, you will eventually start to believe it. You will.

Speaker 1:

So if you're not doing something because you're afraid to fail and you have a stack of evidence to show you that you know you have tried things in the past and you have failed, well then guess what's going to happen? You're going to believe it more and more and more and more and more. So what happens? You play small, you shrink. You watch all of the Instagrams and you follow all the pages for inspo, right recipe inspo and motivation to try and find that new shiny thing that's finally gonna kind of do the work for you, almost.

Speaker 1:

But looking and scrolling and saving and reading isn't taking action, it's just adding fuel to the fire. It's just gathering information, and nobody's sure on information. I said this the other day. You know you could go to a library and you could pick up a book on pretty much anything and become an expert at it, but only if you study it and then implement it. So it's not knowledge, it's not information that you're lacking, it's implementation. So it's not knowledge, it's not information that you're lacking, it's implementation. It's trying things over and over again and expecting to fail and using the failure as a tool to decide what the next step needs to be Okay.

Speaker 1:

So it's time that we start actually living, because at the moment, you're just surviving. You are just in no man's land, not progressing with anything. You know, going back and forth throughout the year, doing various things, losing those few pounds and gaining them back on again, and you're just stuck in no man's land. And the problem is with no man's land is that you'll never progress beyond that. And there is a whole life for you waiting for you outside of worrying about how much you weigh and worrying about whether you look fat in this and worrying about whether these clothes this makes my bum look big. There's so much more to life, and you are a smart, intelligent woman and I know that you are tired of constantly feeling dissatisfied in your body. I know this because I was that. I know how it feels to wake up and feel depressed and miserable and moody and let it completely consume every inch of your being. It's time to move away from that, and if you feel the way that I've just described, then that pain of staying where you are is far worse than the pain of trying something else again and maybe it not working out perfectly for you. So you have to pick your heart, you have to pick your battles.

Speaker 1:

So I created Feed my Health for women who knew that they were meant for more, that were sick of being in this all or nothing cycle. And it wasn't just to help you lose weight. It was actually to help you rebuild belief in yourself. And you don't need to come into Feed my Health with any belief in yourself, because that's what we are there for, that is what my incredible team are there for. We believe in you so much that you don't need to believe in yourself straight away, but eventually you will, because you will start to trust yourself again. You will start to see that this thing, this program it's not even a like program really does do a disservice. This mentorship that we will help you become the best version of yourself, you will start to see that you can achieve so many great things, things that you never even imagined. Right now you're probably thinking I'd be really happy if I could lose like 10 pounds, but deep down, you want more. You know you want more. You just don't believe you can achieve it, and so you shrink your goal. You shrink what you truly want.

Speaker 1:

I see it every single day. I see it every single day. I have lived that. I've lived that life. I've got three children. With those three children came so much doubt, so much fear, so much procrastination, so much thinking that I wasn't good enough.

Speaker 1:

I've juggled work. I've juggled kids. I've juggled home. I've juggled the emotions. I've juggled work. I've juggled kids. I've juggled home. I've juggled the emotions, and I got completely lost. I got completely lost. I lost touch with who I was, who I used to be, and at one point I honestly thought well, do you know what, ros? Maybe this is just how it is going to be from now on.

Speaker 1:

You know, I chose my route in life and I made my bed and I need to lie in it Absolutely flipping not. I quickly slapped myself around the face and said no, this is not what I was put on this earth to do. I wasn't put on this earth just to be a mother. I wasn't put on this earth just to run a business. I wasn't put on this earth just to empty the dishwasher or just to choose what cushions go with the wallpaper and all of those things, by the way, are great things. If that is what you are truly passionate about, then absolutely go all in with your passion. But if at the expense of yourself, that's not great. If you are putting yourself and your needs physical and emotional needs on the back burner in order to do other things in your life, that's where the disconnect happens. There needs to be a balance. Too much of any one thing is too much. There needs to be a balance, and this is the thing that I need you to understand even more than anything else. Your family, your partner, your kids, grandkids they deserve the best version of you, not some half-assed, substandard. Woe is me, I can't achieve this. I've tried everything.

Speaker 1:

Mentality Somebody who shows up for themselves daily, puts themselves first, has boundaries, demands self-respect. That's what they deserve. And internally, you're thinking to yourself well, I don't want to let anybody down. I don't want them to think that I'm yourself. Well, I don't want to let anybody down. I don't want them to think that I'm stupid. I don't want them to think that I'm a failure. I don't want them to see this and I can't possibly spend any money on myself. I must give everything to everybody else. I must spend all of my money on a family holiday. I must spend all of my money on rebuilding our house and redoing this and blah, blah, blah. And, yes, great, do all of those amazing things.

Speaker 1:

But if you're doing it because you think you should, or that's the best possible thing, or it's keeping you safe, or any of the other things, it's a really poor place to make decisions from. It's a really poor place. Imagine that I had no self-worth, no belief in belief in myself, really low self-esteem, and it therefore affected my marriage and my marriage was on rocky ground and we were really unhappy because I wasn't communicative. I didn't want to be the person that I could be for my husband and then I was really snappy with him, really miserable. We never communicated. I didn't want to communicate with the kids. I was really snappy at them and then I decided you know what should do. We should spend all of our money on buying a brand new house, as if that's going to solve all of the problems it's.

Speaker 1:

When you put it this way, what you're doing is you are investing in an area to avoid the thing that actually needs the work. Okay, so let's just put that out there, now that your family deserve you to be the best, and I can tell you now that if you stay stuck because you are afraid what's going to happen for you, I want you to think fast forward. I want you to think in 20 years time, what don't I want? What do I categorically not want? I know that you don't want to be a burden to your family. I know that you do not want to call upon your children or your grandchildren to help wipe your arse or to help, you know, make your dinner or any of the things that you could potentially not be able to do as a result of you allowing your health and choosing your health to fall by the wayside health and choosing your health to fall by the wayside.

Speaker 1:

So think about all the things that you don't want for your life and for your kids and for your grandkids. Whether you have them or not right now, you might eventually have them, chances are you probably will. And imagine if you, you know, when they're older, they, you, they came to your house one day when they were looking after you and they said to you, oh, they were really sad. And you were like, why are you so sad? Well, because you know I've not been able to see my wife for an entire week. Because you know I've been at work providing for the family and obviously I'm looking after you, which I obviously don't mind doing at all. I don't, you know it's, you know I'm happy to do it, blah, blah. How would you feel realistically? How would you feel? You'd feel absolutely awful, absolutely awful.

Speaker 1:

And it has to start with you. This, the future happiness of your family, starts with you. It doesn't end as soon as somebody's born and all of a sudden, you have to give every moment and every penny and every ounce of your being to that person. They deserve better than that. Show them what's possible for them. But it starts with you showing yourself what's possible for you. You can change. You just need a path that works with your life and not against it. You just need a path that works with your life and not against it. Okay, here's the thing.

Speaker 1:

When I was really, really, really struggling. I was trying to do things that were created for generic people, people that weren't living in my house with my you know my job, with my kids, with my body, with my physiology. I was trying to do generalized things that I saw on the internet. I was trying to find generalized apps that I could do random workouts from and assume that I was going to make progress with. I was doing all kinds of stuff to try and improve my health, and what I never really sat down and thought to myself was, if I could create my perfect day and my perfect lifestyle, what would that look like for me and my family? What would we do? How would we spend our weekends? How would I spend my mornings? How would I spend my evenings? I can guarantee you now that if you sat down and you wrote out how to, what do I want my perfect day to look like, it wouldn't say so.

Speaker 1:

I get up and I hit snooze on my alarm and I let the snooze button go like several times, and then I grab my phone. I don't say good morning to my husband, I just scroll on TikTok for ages and just compare myself to everybody else, and then I realize that I'm running late. So I'm like throw together some like creased up, oversized clothes that I find on the floor that somewhat make me look big, and if they're black that's win. And then I'll race around the house screaming at my kids to get ready because we're late and I'm probably without time for breakfast. So I'll probably just grab a coffee on the way and, like I can guarantee that that's not what you would put on your perfect day plan, but that is the reality of what's being lived right now. So reverse engineer it. What does your perfect day look like? And start with that. And for me, that was the starting point. It was right. What do I want my life to look like? What do I want my kids to learn? What values do I hold? What do I want them to think is just completely normal? And I started creating that lifestyle, and that's what we do at.

Speaker 1:

Feed my Health. Yes, we teach you how to eat. Yes, we teach you how to move properly. Yes, we teach you about mindset. Yes, we teach you about all of the things you're going to need to know. But ultimately, it comes from a place of you creating the life that you want to lead, a life that you can live 365 days of the year, whether you are perimenopausal, whether you're menopausal, whether you've got arthritis, whether you've got fibromyalgia, whether you are pregnant, whether you are getting pregnant. You know this is a lifestyle. This is not a oh, I'll do something until it doesn't feel like okay anymore, or I'll do something until something else comes up, or this is not what Feed my Health is all about. It's not a program that you do just when life is perfect, because if you're waiting for perfection, it'll never come. If you're waiting for perfection, it'll never come. If you're waiting for the right time, you'll be waiting for years and years and years, because there will never be a right time, never. So how do you start trusting yourself again?

Speaker 1:

I want you to start small. I want you to start small Today. I want you to pick one thing, just one thing, and prove to yourself that you can do it. You might decide right today I'm going to go for a walk at lunchtime. I'm not asking you to go for a walk at lunchtime for the next seven days. I'm just asking you go for a walk at lunchtime for the next seven days. I'm just asking you go for a walk at lunchtime and then actually go and do it. Don't say you're going to do X amount of steps, don't say you're going to do X amount of time. Just simply the act of going for a walk Fill that confidence cup with that one thing.

Speaker 1:

The next thing I want you to do is to stop punishing yourself for the past. You cannot change the past and you cannot dictate the future, as much as you want to believe that you can. 85% of the thoughts that you have every single day will be about what's going to happen in the future, and most of those things will not happen. So stop thinking about the future and stop thinking about the past. Use the past to learn from. Use the past to take the learnings, but focus on the present and what you can control today, right now.

Speaker 1:

Everything you've tried until now has taught you something. Maybe it taught you what doesn't work. Maybe it taught you that perhaps it could have worked, but maybe we just needed to be more consistent with it. And what does that look like? Maybe it showed you what you need more support around. Maybe none of it right, but none of it was wasted. None of what's gone before has ever been wasted.

Speaker 1:

So you're not starting from scratch. This is the key thing. I want you to know. You're starting from experience. Number three I want you to borrow belief until yours returns. This is where community and mentoring matter the most. When you've lost belief in yourself, you need someone to hold it for you until you feel it again. That's the power of having help, that is the power of having a mentor, that is the power of having a community is that we will hold that vision for you. We will challenge you when you want to retreat and we will love you enough to not let you quit on yourself.

Speaker 1:

If you hear nothing else today, I want you to hear this you are not broken. You do not lack discipline and you do not need to be fixed. You are tired of starting over. I absolutely get that. I know how tiring that is, but here's the thing you don't need to continue starting over. You need to choose to do it one more time and take that brave step and decide, make a conscious decision to decide that this is the last time you are going to start again, because this time you are going to become the woman that you were destined to be and you deserve to be. Imagine what that would look like for you in six months from now. Right, imagine feeling proud of yourself.

Speaker 1:

Imagine waking up in the morning before your alarm clock, filled with energy. You don't even care about looking at social media because you're so busy living your dream life that you don't need to look at everybody else's highlight reel. You get up, you look in the mirror. You're like, yes, I feel and I look fantastic. You're energized, your clothes are fitting, you're in a body that you love. You're in a routine that works for you, it works for your life, it works for your family. Everybody is so happy and engaged and present with each other. Because you showed up, you showed them the way, and everybody's looking at you going well, I want a piece of that the way. And everybody's looking at you going why? Well, I want a piece of that. And this is the reality. That's not happening for you because you're so afraid to try again.

Speaker 1:

Imagine if you told your children, every time they got afraid, to just give up. Like, really, how many things have you done in your life already that you were afraid of that? You decided you weren't going to let defeat you. Every time you got in the car for a driving lesson, you were probably a little bit afraid, especially on the first one. When you welcomed your first child into the world, you were probably really afraid. There are so many things that you've already overcome. There are so many things in your life that maybe you feel that you failed at that you overcame. There are so many things in your life that maybe you feel that you failed at that you overcame. There were certainly times in my life when I had little ones where I just felt like nothing was going right that day and I literally would break down and cry and feel like I was a failure, I was a terrible parent. But guess what? You wake up the next day and you do it all over again and you learn the lessons.

Speaker 1:

You don't quit on being a parent. You don't quit on learning to drive. You don't quit on your career. You don't quit on your friends. You don't quit on your spouse just because you hit a rocky patch. And the last thing that you should ever quit on is your health, because that's the only thing that you actually have as a sure thing. It's the only thing that matters.

Speaker 1:

If you don't have your health, you don't have a job. If you don't have your health, you don't have a job. If you don't have your health, you don't have a holiday. If you don't have your health, you don't have a house. If you don't have your health sometimes, you don't have your life. So stop trying to make your health be this luxurious thing, this add-on, this nice to have when the world is perfect and you've got piles of money in the bank and loads of time on your hands, because that will never happen. As long as you get paid, you will spend that money. Never happen. As long as you get paid, you will spend that money. As long as you have time, you will fill it. Just make sure that you are investing your time, effort, energy, money on really important things that are going to enhance your life.

Speaker 1:

There is a famous, famous quote, and I feel like I'm about to butcher it, so I need to find it and tell you what it is. And if I were you and you have resonated with this episode today I would write it down and I would make a note and I'd pull it up every time self-doubt and fear gets in. The shots that you don't take, you miss 100% of the shots that you do not take. Internalize that, think about what that means for you right now in your life and make a decision because you're worth it. Your family is worth it. The legacy that you will leave behind rests on you taking chances. Take a chance on yourself, because it could be the best thing that you ever do in your life.