The Feed My Health Podcast

Dear Scale, It’s Not About You

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What if clinging to a finish line is the very thing keeping you stuck? We dig into why “start with the end in mind” can backfire in health and fitness—and how shifting your focus to the daily process unlocks consistency, confidence, and real results. Drawing from coaching inside Feed My Health and lived experience, we explore the weekend write-off trap, the emotional weight we place on meals, and the identity shift that happens when you aim for “better than yesterday” instead of perfect.

You’ll hear how small, repeatable actions beat dramatic overhauls, why the scale can’t be the judge of your worth, and how to design wins you can collect every day. We use a dating analogy to show how outcome obsession suffocates progress and how presence—choosing the restaurant, enjoying the conversation, noticing how you feel—creates momentum. From treadmill increments to breakfast upgrades, we lay out practical, low-friction moves that make consistency feel rewarding so you actually want to keep going.

This conversation is a nudge to dream bigger and hold your long view lightly while you measure the day. Take radical responsibility without harshness, build routines that adapt to real life, and stop waiting for perfect timing. If you’re ready to replace all-or-nothing thinking with a process you love—and results that last—press play, subscribe for more grounded coaching, and share this with someone who needs the reminder. Then tell us: what’s the one small change you’ll make today?

👉 We don’t just help you lose weight - we help you keep it off for good. If you’re serious about breaking free from quick fixes, my team and I will transform your daily habits so your results last a lifetime.

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SPEAKER_00:

So I wanted to share today a thought that I had last week. And it's actually a thought that I shared with our one-to-one clients at Feed My House. But I think the message message is so incredibly powerful and relevant for most people. And you can actually use this in all areas of your life. So the idea really is that when we embark on a goal or we embark on a journey, we often embark on it with the end in mind. Now, this is actually a really valuable and important concept for quite a lot of areas of life. And there's a really famous book that I love. It was like the first book that I ever read and completely catapulted me into the world of self-development and business. And that book was The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, written by a man called Stephen Covey. One of those habits is to start with the end in mind. And when you read that concept in the book, it makes perfect sense. So basically, this concept can be used in so like literally all areas of your life. And I would strongly recommend that you do use it in all of your areas, but you have to kind of follow the process behind that. And it's the concept really is that you think about what it is that you're trying to achieve, and then you reverse engineer it. Now, here is where I have a slightly different opinion on this. Because I genuinely know from working with so many individuals at this stage on their health and their fitness, is that we don't often know what the end in mind is. We can have an idea, but I do find that most women will say to me, like, oh, I'd be really happy if I could just lose a stone. Like, I want to lose five stone, but I'd be really happy if I could lose a stone. And then they kind of downplay what the end in mind is. Often is because they actually don't know what it could look like, they don't know what the possibilities are, and so they sort of find themselves feeling overwhelmed by the idea of creating this massive vision, this massive goal. And I do think that this is something that as adults we become really bad at because you know, when you're a child, you dream about some of the biggest things. Like you dream about what you want to do as a job, you dream about your career, do you dream about you know wanting to be a blooming fairy Disney princess, and you no dream is ever too big. And then somewhere along the lines, we get into the world and we get into quote unquote the realities of life, and we start to squash our dreams. And I genuinely believe that most people, the reason why they struggle in life is simply because they don't dream big enough. So when it comes to health and fitness, what I witness is women and men sometimes, women predominantly, squashing what they truly want because they are afraid to fail, or they're a they don't really understand what's possible for them after years and years and years of trying so many different things. However, what I do notice is when a woman decides, right, okay, I'm now actually going to work on myself, they they suddenly become very, very attached to the outcome of the thing that they're working on. So even if it's something stupid like they're focusing on a fad diet, they will focus on the outcome of that fad diet as opposed to what it's actually going to take to get there. And that's why a lot of the time people sort of fall off. If you want to use that hideous terminology, falling off the wagon, they will use that come Thursday because a the process that they're trying to follow is ridiculous, but but B, you know, they're not really focusing on what it takes day to day and how to overcome life's hurdles and challenges and stresses and still make improvements, and that's because they're focusing on in this situation the end in mind. Now you bring somebody into Feed My Health, especially somebody that has been through that process of like doing so many of these things, they're almost waiting for the moment they fall off the wagon because that's what's been their norm, that's the habit, that's the ritual, that's what they know. And even if something that you know is not right, it still still feels nicer than doing something that you don't know, even if that thing that you don't know is the thing that you need, i.e., being consistent and staying on track, right? So the natural process, the natural behavior is in in any scenario to focus on the end goal, to focus on what you're trying to achieve as opposed to the process. Now, the reason why I am so passionate about this concept is because for me, this was the turning point in my life. This was the turning point for me in my weight loss journey. I remember, and I've said this so many times, but I will keep saying this. I remember actually just deciding one Friday to have, I think we had we were having a takeaway or something, and then typically what would have happened was Saturday, we'd like get up and I would basically have screwed up my diet because I ate that one takeaway on a Friday. And so I decided that the weekend was a write-off. I decided that because I wasn't perfect, that you know, I couldn't possibly stay on track for the weekend, couldn't possibly care about my health at the weekends. So I remember that particular Friday thinking, do you know what? Like, what would happen if I actually did stay on track? And I probably did use those words because that's what I was used to hearing and saying, but like, what would happen if tomorrow I actually woke up and made a better choice? What would happen? Because breakfast on a Saturday doesn't have to be like this massive, elaborate thing that I'm making it be. I'm putting a lot of emotion uh behind the concept of breakfast because I feel I feel like the weekdays is always so rushed and I'm always missing breakfast, and you know, it's always like half a bowl of cereal or whatever. So I made the weekends mean something, and actually they don't really mean an awful lot. And when you make every weekend mean something, you take away from the special occasions that actually are special occasions. This is a this is a key thing here. We start to eat out like every every opportunity is a celebration, and then we start to back it up and justify our actions and our behaviors with oh, well, it's been a long week, or oh well, we deserve this, oh well, life's too short, blah blah blah blah. So I remember making this categorical decision like, do you know what? I'm not gonna do the same thing that I always do. And guess what happened? I actually started to realize that I could enjoy life's little pleasures, the odd takeaway, the meals out, blah, blah, blah, and still make progress. And that happened by making decisions that aligned with the goal, the outcome that I was after, but I didn't focus on the outcome necessarily. I focused on the the the here and now, the day, the process, the process of becoming, and even stuff like you know, we had a treadmill in our house at one point, and I would walk on the treadmill, and every single day my goal was just to do a little bit longer than I'd done the day before. I wasn't thinking about like, right, I want to run a 10K, so today I've got to run a 10K, and then tomorrow I've got to run a 10K, and if I don't run a 10K the next day, then I may as well not bother. That was the mentality that I also had with food, and that is what I see a lot happening in the world right now. So I actually focused on just being a little bit better than the day before. Honestly, that's what I did, and I really want this to be something that you think about, and also from an emotional perspective, the the analogy that I use with that with my clients when I was telling them this is you know, imagine that you are going out on a date, and you know, you could argue that when we go out on dates, especially as adults, we are thinking about the prospect of you know, maybe settling down one day and having children and you know it all being you know living happily ever after. But if you were to step out that door and meet somebody for the first time, and your first thought was, oh my god, I hope they like me. Oh my god, I hope that they think that they want to marry me, oh my god, I hope that they think they want to marry me and they want to have three children with me, and they could imagine us living in a lovely house together in the countryside. Like, can you imagine? A, if that person knew you were thinking that, and if they did, what would they think about that? B, how much pressure that is putting on that one individual or that one situation? How about you go? Do you know what? I haven't been on a date for a while, I haven't been on a proper date for a while, so you know, I want to get dressed up, I'm gonna put some music on, I'm gonna have like iron a nice fresh shirt or a blouse, I'm gonna like put some nice underwear on, even though I have no intentions of anybody seeing it but myself. I want to feel good, I want to feel sexy. You go to the lovely restaurant, you know, you spend spend some time picking the restaurant, you look through the drinks menu to find out a nice drink, you have a lovely conversation. Like nobody in that moment is thinking about the fact that you want three kids, a blue front door, and like a dog called bloody Fido, right? But that's what's happening in the health and the fitness world is that we are basically going, Oh, do you know what? I really need to lose some weight. Oh, okay, so I'm gonna do this thing, and it better work, and I better lose all this weight, and I better see results. Otherwise, I'm just not gonna be motivated. Like, I'm just not gonna want to keep doing it. And oh my god, look at the scale, the scale's gone up again. Oh my god, my entire self-worth and identity is basically down the prepper because you know, all I care about is the end result, and it's putting so much pressure not only on the thing that you're doing, but on yourself, and in that time, you are missing the bigger picture, which is enjoying the process. You have to enjoy the process of becoming the next best version of yourself. If you don't, you won't stick at it. If you don't, you will not maintain the result that you have. If you don't, it won't become a lifestyle. And regardless of what methods you use, you have to have all of those factors. You have to enjoy the process, you have to love what you're doing, you have to really relish it and want to wake up in the morning and embrace it and do it because it means a lot to you and it's gonna change you for the better in the long run. And that's why people go on lots and lots of dates because eventually they will find somebody who they love and they want to settle down with, but they didn't put that expectation on themselves from day one. They they realized it was going to take a little bit of time to find the right person. So I want you to reflect on what I'm saying right now and catch yourself when you find yourself focusing purely on the end result. If you focus on the journey, if you focus on the process, if you focus on finding ways to make every area of your journey enjoyable, you will take that pressure off yourself to always see a result, and you will absolutely 100% always see a result in the long run, and that is the thing that we want the most because like I will always say your health lives with you every single day for the rest of your life, and so it is your job, it is your duty, and it is your responsibility to ensure that you find something that worked for you, that you can find enjoyable, that you can understand is going to come with its own little challenges and its own little hurdles because everything in life does and should not put something on a pedestal, not expect it to be perfect. It is your job to make sure that every single day of your life you are looking after your health. And it's not okay just to look after your health when the time is right, or when the stars are aligned, or when everything is perfect. You need to take radical responsibility for your health, for yourself, for your loved ones, for the future you. And I will say this until the cows come home: you can achieve so much more than you are allowing yourself to believe right now. You are making your goals and your vision for yourself small because you are afraid to fail. And as far as I'm concerned, and this is a promise that I make from me to you when you are in my world, you will have no option but to change, and you will love the person that you see in the mirror. You will love the person who talks to themselves in their head because I am on a mission to show you what is capable, what you are capable of, what's possible for you, and that you can actually love and enjoy the process along the way.