The Feed My Health Podcast

Build A Life That Matches Your Values

• Rosalind Tapper

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Feeling like your days run you instead of the other way around? We open up about the quiet slide into people pleasing, the chase for validation, and the spotless-home performance that looks impressive but drains your energy. Then we map the way back: a tiny morning ritual that uncovers a core value—time freedom—and becomes the catalyst for a life designed on purpose.

You’ll hear how a simple coffee in bed turned into a blueprint for intentional living. We break down how to write your perfect day for both weekdays and weekends, why micro-habits beat massive overhauls, and how to evolve routines as seasons change. Along the way, we lean on the ideas behind The Perfect Day Formula and show you how to expand your view from basic scheduling to a 360 plan that includes health, relationships, work satisfaction, rest, and joy. The practical focus is clear: clarity reduces overwhelm, and alignment turns “shoulds” into choices.

We also get real about the hard parts—renegotiating invisible household rules, setting boundaries without guilt, and having the conversations you’ve been avoiding. If you’ve ever said “I’m not a morning person” or felt stuck in a role you didn’t consciously choose, this conversation will help you name your values, protect your non-negotiables, and build momentum with small, repeatable actions. By the end, you’ll have a simple framework to reclaim agency, design days you’re excited to wake up to, and live a life that fits who you are now.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review—tell us one small ritual you’re committing to this week.

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SPEAKER_00:

So a lot of people struggle with the idea of how to live in their lives. And I know that sounds like such a crazy thing to say, but so many of us are walking around living a life that they're not really super happy with. Yes, there are elements of it they have chosen, you might say, but there's a lot of our lives that just have sort of happened or fallen at our feet, and we kind of make the best of situations sometimes. And what we don't realize is that we have so much power, and somewhere along the lines between, I don't know, maybe like secondary school and university, if you went to university, we lost the ability to keep dreaming about what we wanted for our lives. So we spent basically all of our teens and maybe early 20s designing our lives, doing courses, studying, that kind of thing. And then suddenly we find ourselves in these worlds where we feel like we don't have any control anymore. Things sort of kind of take over. Maybe we buy a first house, or you know, we have children, we have particular jobs, we have a spouse, maybe that, you know, and we find within those with those things, even if we've chosen them, sometimes we're not really living how we imagined or how we want to. And I certainly found for me that in the early stages of being a parent, which obviously for me happened like in my early 20s, so pretty early on, I found myself conforming to a lot of what I thought was going to be expected of me at that stage. And a lot of that, to be honest with you, has to do with the age I was, because in your 20s, you do tend to people please a lot more, you tend to do a lot of things for other people's admiration and validation, much to the detriment of yourself. I know that I spent a lot of my 20s buying things to make myself feel like I had a home, to impress friends that obviously are no longer friends. You know, so many things that I did in my 20s because I was in my 20s. But also because of what I had chosen for my life, I felt that that is what I needed to do to be a good mum or to be a good partner. I thought that, you know, if I was at home most of the time, even though I had a job, by the way, I had a job that I did in the evenings, I felt that because I was at home most of the time, it was my job and my duty to basically be the house maid, you know, the social secretary, you know, you you flipping name it. And you know, that's that's all fine if that is what aligns with you and that's what you truly wanted for your life. But what I was doing was filling a void, filling a void of unhappiness, filling a void of like not feeling like I had a purpose. I was somebody who was incredibly ambitious, had spent the last what I want to say, four years at college, three years at uni, like seven years progressing towards this job, this dream job that I really wanted to find that you know, actually we ended up with a child, thank goodness, because she's amazing, but ended up with like the plan completely going out of the window, and that takes a toll emotionally because you sort of have to divorce the old identity that you held of yourself to create a new one, and you're kind of thrust into that when you are expecting a child, and so I'm very much like, right, I'm gonna make the best of this situation. How can I? Okay, I'm gonna be the best at everything to do with this situation. So I was like the Martha Stewart of the parenting home world, and I just wanted to excel at everything, I wanted to organize everything really, really well. If my children were going through a difficult stage, I wanted to research it and kind of smash all those problems out of the park. I wanted to be really great at everything, and you know it has served, it had served me well, and it does serve you well to a point. But then one day you wake up and you realize that you are running yourself ragged and you're spending most of your time tired and unhappy, unhappy in a world that you have created. Nobody had the expectations of me that I had created. Nobody expected me to do half of the stuff that I was expecting myself to do. Nobody. The kids are absolutely fine, they are not traumatized in any way, but yet for me, the sheer idea of leaving things out on the side where somebody could witness that I had left something on the side just horrified me. The idea that somebody could come around to my house and there wasn't a scented candle on the go or a fluffed cushion for them to sit on, like that horrified me. I didn't want them to know I was a human, you know. I didn't want them to know that I had flaws. I wanted them to think I had everything together, and this is such human error on my part. And what's really sad is that I still see this and witness this now in adults who are, you know, 30, 40, 50, 60, even 70 years old, like women admitting to me that they do everything for everybody else, and they can now recognize the implications that that's having, but there seems to there seems to be a disconnect between knowing they're doing it and knowing how to not do it. So I want to go into a little bit more detail about my experience and how potentially it could help you to kind of unlock your next best self. So if you're not aware, by the way, we are currently running our 30-day Freedom Formula Challenge on Telegram. Now, this challenge is absolutely transformative, and as the as the people in the group are gonna go through the challenge, they are going to transform more and more and more. But this is more from a mindset perspective, so that we're sort of working on the foundations. Now, this podcast episode is actually going to really, really marry into the freedom formula, and I would highly recommend that if you are somebody that struggles with people pleasing, understanding your worth, identifying what truly matters to you, identifying your blocks, all of that kind of thing, the food the freedom formula is going to be an absolute no-brainer for you, and it is going to be available constantly. It's an evergreen program. You can jump in anytime, you will have lifetime access to it, so you can go back to it as many times as you would like. But I just wanted to kind of caveat that and say that that would be a really great place to start if you are somebody who actually wants to kind of get through the sticky bits, right? Because you can listen to all the podcasts you want and you can get some tips for sure. But implementation is everything, and unless you take action on your own personal circumstances, nothing will change. So let me take you back a little bit to when I realized that actually I did have the power because I really gave away my power quite quickly after you know finishing uni. There was a time when, excuse me, there was a time when you know my alarm clock would go off in the morning and I would absolutely dread the day, dread it. I would tell people that I wasn't a morning person. I wouldn't speak to people in the morning because I was so miserable and grumpy. I would tell people that I needed to have coffee before I would speak to them. It was just such oh, it was just I I actually hated myself for that. I cringe now thinking about it, to be honest. And there was a moment when I started making coffee, getting up a little bit earlier and making a coffee and bringing it into bed and just sitting there, just sitting, and it was absolutely amazing, absolutely amazing, and I didn't do anything, you know, massive. I was literally making a coffee, sitting in my bed and sipping it on my terms. Now, this is when I realized that I truly valued time freedom. I love structure, I love time management, I am the queen of time management. If you want me to help you organize your calendar, my goodness, I will. I will be goddamn productive while we're doing it. But I really value time freedom. So I want to do things on my terms when I want to do them. And as soon as somebody tells me, oh, you've got to be here by then, or you know, you've got to get to this appointment, I immediately feel annoyed. I immediately feel constrained. But that was the first time that I really realized that. And so having that structure around getting up a little bit earlier so that I could have the freedom in the morning to drink my coffee at my own pace with my own thoughts was absolutely incredible. And I did this every single day for weeks, and it made me so happy. It got me, it got to the point where I was like really enjoying that part of the day because at that time it was the only thing that I was actually allocating for myself, and I really looked forward to it. So immediately I'd gone from a person who was like, I hate mornings, to I can't wait for my morning. It's amazing. That then transpired into oh, what shall I make myself for breakfast? And that had gone from grabbing a quick, a quick bowl of rice krispies or a slice of toast to actually considering what I wanted to eat, putting some thought into it and enjoying the process. So that was kind of the second thing. And I suddenly thought to myself, like, gosh, these two simple things, like the first one being the coffee and the second one being the breakfast, it they've cut they've become the catalyst to me understanding what I actually truly want in my life and how I want my life to look. And so I decided that I was going to write down what my perfect day would look like. So I wrote it down from the basis of a typical weekday and also a weekend day. Now, obviously, lots of people have different schedules on weekdays and weekends, and a lot of people do kind of sleep their way through a weekend and eat their way through a weekend. And that's fine if it's intentional, but I do find that a lot of people do these things unintentionally because they're trying to emotionally mask the stresses and strains of the week, and I didn't want to feel that way, I wanted to feel very much in control still. So I did write out my perfect day, my perfect week at the time, obviously had young children, and I remember doing a lot of research around this, and I came across this book called The Perfect Day Formula, which I would highly recommend everybody read. This book really, really, really transformed the way I thought about my life as a whole. I've gone from thinking about life from kind of a like a 2D perspective to suddenly a 3D perspective. And what I mean by that is looking at it from every angle, like looking at it from health, looking at it from just happiness, personal life, job satisfaction from all angles, basically. So maybe a better maybe a better way of describing that would be from like a 360. It really just helped me to get a lot more clarity on all aspects of my life and how I could make them fit my perfect day. Now, your perfect day is gonna absolutely change as your life changes. So if you have children, for example, as they go through their phases and stages of life, your schedule may look very, very different. Like my schedule now looks so different to when my children were at like primary school. I was doing the car, I was gonna say the car run, the school run, you know, all of that sort of stuff. And now that my children are incredibly independent, they get themselves to and from places. I'm not really needed as much anymore. So I have a lot more free time in that respect, but I now fill that with other things, so like business stuff, um, health things, etc. And so creating your perfect day is going to be an evolution, it's going to be something that you are going to want to revisit time and time again, and having that book there as well is kind of like a little guide or a little Bible that you can refer to for each of those different phases. And one thing that I love to do, I do this in business anyway, as part of the course, but one of the things that I love to do is kind of sit down and have a bit of a ritual where I will map out like my goals for the year, my goals for the month, goals for the quarter, I'll put some great music on, I'll make like a vision board, and it's a whole thing, and it's so fun. And it's a really great way to actually reflect on your year as well. If you keep all of those things, you can go, yeah, I did that. And you just I think as you go through life, you forget all of the things that you've achieved. Like if you look back and you think, you know, I can't really remember what we did six months ago. But if you have it on a calendar, if you have it on a vision board, or you have it jotted down in your goals or whatever, and then you get to look back and go, Oh my gosh, yeah, we did that, we ticked that off. Like it's such a sense of fulfilled life, like it really, really, really is. And you feel in control, and a lot of people can feel overwhelmed in their lives, and overwhelm is a lack of clarity and a lack of control. And once you get that back and you sit in the driver's seat of your life, it's amazing how much you transform. And like I said, it was only one action that I stumbled across that was the catalyst for me. So there's something right now that you aren't doing in your life that you are really craving, and I would I would urge you to think about your values. So, for example, like I've said to you, one of my core values is freedom of time. So now that I know that one of my core values is freedom of time, I can now use that knowledge to my advantage and think, right, okay, so if my if my core value is freedom of time, where else in my life do I feel that I don't have that? And is there anything that I can do to change that? And once you start living in accordance with your values, you actually wake up every day loving your life. Absolutely loving your life. Now, there are going to be certain nuances. I'm not going to, you know, think this is all like sugar plum fairies or whatever. We are some of us in jobs that we don't love, you know, in situations that are very stressful, in relationships that we don't enjoy, you know, there's so many lots, there's like so much stuff going on. I want you to look at those situations and ask yourself am I enabling any of those situations that I'm not happy with? Is there anything that I can do to change any of it? Do I need to have any difficult conversations? Do I need to put in more boundaries with people? Do I need to put in more non-negotiable things into my life in order to make things how I want them so that I live more in accordance with my values? And sometimes we have to take that self-reflection and look inwards because we have a lot more control than we give ourselves credit for. We really, really do. For me, I find myself making excuses when the things that I need to do and I have control over are uncomfortable things. So if there's a difficult conversation that I don't want to have, I will find myself making really amazing excuses as to why I don't need to have that conversation. Great, like really great ones. And I think that you know, I would pride myself on having a lot of self-awareness. But there are people that don't have any self-awareness and aren't living the lives that they are happy with. And so this is gonna take a little bit more work from your part, to be honest. But the big, big thing is dream big. If time was no object, if money was no object, if your circumstances weren't your circumstances, what would your perfect day look like? And start really simple. Ask yourself if I went out on a date with my husband, what would my perfect date look like? And once you start to kind of get those juices flowing in your brain of like what your perfect date would look like, then you can start to look at okay, well, what would a perfect weekend look like together? What would a perfect Friday look like together? Or a perfect working day on a Friday and a Friday evening. And you'll start to realize that your your definition of perfect aligns with the values that you have. And I want you to think truly selfishly, not that it is selfish, but it's the best way to describe what I'm trying to say here. I want you to imagine that you don't have to consider anybody else in this at all. You have your job, you have your schedule, you have your food, you have whatever, and you are creating your dream or your perfect day based on you and you alone. We tend to go with the whole, well, I get my kids up and then I'd make their pet lunches and then I'd take them to school, and then I'd go and do this, and you're already considering what you feel you have to do. Now, all of those things might need to slot in. But if your perfect day doesn't include those things, and maybe you have somebody in your life, a partner or a spouse, who could help with any of those things, that's when you can start to look at compromise. Often we take on tasks and responsibilities as mums because we've always done them. It's just the norm. It's just the norm that you always empty the dishwasher in the morning. But there was no rule book that was created when you maybe got married or when you maybe got together that said, you know, you're responsible for emptying the dishwasher in the morning. Now you might have done that because actually me and my husband did have a conversation where I said, Do you know what? I really don't like emptying bins, like I really don't want to put the bins out. And he was like, Well, that's good because I really don't like dusting. So we both agreed that that would be the things that we wouldn't expect each other to do. So you might have had similar conversations to that. But if you haven't, then you know, just remember that nobody writes the rules except you. And if you're wanting somebody to help you with certain things, communication is everything. And once you start communicating, and then once you start living in accordance with your values and you start dreaming big, you will suddenly wake up in the morning excited for your life, excited to work on yourself, excited to go to work, excited to spend time with your family, excited to work on your movement and your nutrition and all of those amazing things that allow you to live the life that you want to live. So, with all that being said, go and create your perfect day. Dream big, do not hold back, and I hope you enjoyed this episode.