The Feed My Health Podcast

Identity Over Discipline: Who Are You When Life Gets Busy

• Rosalind Tapper

Share episode

Send us a text

It’s the 8th of December…
And I want to talk to you about something almost every midlife woman feels right now but rarely says out loud:

The December Drift.

That slow, sneaky slide away from the woman you’re trying so hard to become.

Not because of the Christmas food.
Not because of the parties.
Not because you’re “off track.”

But because December exposes the one thing most women struggle with:

👉 How easy it is to abandon themselves when life gets busy.

This is the month where boundaries blur, routines vanish, and you start making choices that don’t actually feel good, but you do them anyway because “it’s Christmas.”

And then suddenly January rolls around…
And you’re left frustrated, heavy, annoyed, and wondering why you keep repeating the same cycle.

Here’s the truth I share in today’s podcast episode:
December isn’t a test of discipline.
It’s a test of identity.

Who are you when things get messy?
Who do you choose to be when your routine disappears?
And what tiny anchors can you put in place so you don’t drift away from yourself again?

This episode is one of the most important ones I’ve recorded, especially if you want to walk into January feeling proud, energised and in momentum… not starting from scratch.

Inside, I give you:
✨ A reframe that will change how you see December
✨ 3 patterns midlife women fall into (and how to avoid them)
✨ The “Non-Negotiable 3” that will keep you connected to yourself
✨ How to honour your goals without restricting your Christmas

It’s packed with practical value, emotional resonance, and identity-level shifts you can use immediately.

You don’t need a perfect December.
You need a present one.
A conscious one.
A month where you choose yourself even 10% more than last year.

That 10% changes everything.

Listen in, and let this be the moment you decide not to abandon yourself this December.

👉 We don’t just help you lose weight - we help you keep it off for good. If you’re serious about breaking free from quick fixes, my team and I will transform your daily habits so your results last a lifetime.

JOIN Feed My Health Today!

👇 Not ready to dive all the way in yet? That’s okay.
If you know something has to change but you’re not quite ready for the full programme, I’ve created two simple ways to step into my world and start building momentum:

🌸 The Confidence Kickstart (FREE Telegram Group)
This is your safe space to get inspired, learn bite-sized mindset strategies, and start feeling more in control of your health and body again. It’s where you’ll get practical tools, motivation, and a taste of what’s possible for you when you stop putting yourself last.

🔥 The Body Confidence Club (£22 right now)
If you’re ready to do more than just watch from the sidelines and want to start implementing real changes, this is your next step. Inside you’ll get structured guidance, simple actions to follow, and the accountability to finally follow through. (The price will be increasing soon, so now is the best time to jump in!)

✨The Freedom Formula (£222)
If you’...

SPEAKER_00:

So it's the 8th of December, and it's the funny time of year where everything feels a little bit blurry, a little bit chaotic. And if we're really honest, it can start to feel like we're getting a little bit out of control. And today I want to talk about the December drift. Let's call it that. It's that slow, sneaky little slide away from who you really want to be. So you've perhaps been focused. I know just from looking at our data, November tends to be the month where most people are really, really focused on their health. And then suddenly December clicks and we forget all about ourselves, and it starts to get a little bit overwhelming with everything that we think that we need to do. This is then the month where most midlife women feel that they are kind of losing themselves all over again and learning how to balance the food, the socials, the alcohol, the overwhelm, the getting all of the stuff done. And then comes that kind of lack of routine towards the mid to back end of December. And everything piles up, and suddenly we start saying things to ourselves like, it's too hard, I'll start again in January. I've blown it now, it's Christmas, it doesn't count. But here is the thing: it really does count. Every day counts, and more importantly, you count. And here is the truth that nobody else is going to tell you. December isn't hard because of the food. It's not hard because of the social occasions. It's not even hard because you're busy. December feels really hard because it actually exposes how easy it is to give up on yourself. Your boundaries suddenly start to disappear, your self-care drops to the bottom of the list, and everyone else's needs seem way more important. And the woman you're trying so hard to become, and the woman you tried so hard to become all year, suddenly gets forgotten about. And we create all of these reasons as to why that's okay. You know, we've got Christmas presents to buy, we've got school things to organise, school things to attend, work things that we want to get finished before we break up, you know, so many things going on that we don't know how to actually still look after ourselves in the way that we need. December highlights the gap between the identity you want and the identity you live from when life gets busy. And this is why so many women get to January and they feel overweight, they feel heavy, they feel disappointed in themselves, they feel angry with themselves. And not because of the food, but because they broke promises to themselves again. And this is something that I would do year after year after year. I actually remember, I think it was maybe what year would it have been? I can't remember. We lived in Somerset at the time. And I remember there was one year where I actually felt that I looked the best I'd ever looked, and it was Christmas, and it was absolutely amazing. I didn't miss out on a single thing. But what I did do was focus on what I could do on the days where we didn't have loads of stuff going on. And I actually went that extra mile a lot of the time as well. And that extra mile doesn't need to be anything catastrophic, it can usually just be 1% better. So walking a little bit longer that day or scaling back the food a little bit that day and making sure I had a lot more protein, it's just tiny little tweaks that can really make such a massive difference. So here is a reframe, okay? December is isn't a test of discipline, it's actually a test of your identity. So who are you when things do get a little bit overwhelming? Who are you when you know people seem to need you left, right, and centre, when you don't seem to have as much money as you perhaps would would have wanted, or any of the other stresses or obstacles that we put on ourselves? Who are you when this happens? Are you the woman that you know lets it all slide? Or are you the woman who goes, Do you know what? This is going to be a bit more of a challenge, but I'm up for it. And I will do whatever I can, even if it's not perfect. Because you don't need to be perfect in December, but you do need to be present, you do need to make conscious, intentional decisions, and you still do need to choose yourself. You really, really do. And I want you to remember that this in these times where it's more difficult, this is not a time to take your foot off the gas. In fact, actually, it's your time to put your foot on the gas even more, even more for yourself and stand up for what you need and what you believe in. Because if you can get through December, having really looked after your health as much as possible and gone above and beyond, you are going to set yourself up for so much success, so much success. And it will change everything for you. So I want to talk about the patterns that midlife women can fall into in December. So I want to break these down because awareness really is a massive part of the power of it all. Okay, so we've got number one, which is the overcompensator. She will say yes to every event, every drink, every mince pie because she fears missing out. But really, she's terrified of being the boring one, the big being judged, missing out, and then being judged for like choosing to do a different thing. Then we've got the second one, which is the I'll start in January woman. She's completely mentally checked out. She's already living in the future that she cannot guarantee is going to be there. But the cost of that is that she loses all momentum and spends January trying to undo December. Then we've got the silent abandoner number three. This one is the one that really hurts. So she's the woman who knows what she needs. She knows she needs early nights, she knows she needs to do more steps, she knows she needs a lot more water and a lot more structure, but she just doesn't choose any of those things. And it's not because she's weak, but because she's tired of letting herself down and disappointing herself. And if you're listening to this and thinking, well, that's me, then I see you. Okay, I see you. I'm pretty certain that I've been every single one of these women at some point in my life. And the here's what's really, really amazing. And I want you to listen to this and really take this on board. You get to change this, and you get to be whichever one of these people you want to be, or a completely different version. You get to choose this and you get to choose this right now. So we're going to talk about some power moves that you can implement to stay connected to yourself and what you truly, truly want. They aren't restrictive, they aren't you being quote unquote good, they're identity anchors. And these things will stop you from abandoning yourself this month. So, power move number one is to set a 24-hour standard. So, I want you to forget the whole month. I actually want you to forget the next week. I want you to ask yourself one question every single morning. Every single morning when you wake up this month, I want you to ask yourself this question. How does the woman that I want to be move through today? What does she do? And that is it. That is a simple question that you ask yourself. Typically, what happens is we wake up in the morning and we get dragged into something, whether it's the phone, the email, the kids, whatever, and we just kind of survive the day. The day happens to us. Instead, I want you to actually take this question and own your day a little bit. Be a bit more intentional with how you want your day to go. And you'll be shocked at how simple the answers are. Okay, so you could come up with some specifics. I really want you to get specific. You want to get 5k steps before 12 p.m. If you're going to a buffet, if you're going to a party, one plate at the buffet, you could choose that. You can decide that. You can choose to have a glass of water between drinks. You get to choose that. You're a grown woman. You get to choose whether you have a high protein breakfast. You get to choose whether you wake up 20 minutes earlier and go for a walk before you have a shower. All of these things you get to choose, and they will set you up for an incredible day. They're small things, but these are what changes your identity. These are massive identity shifts. The second power move is the rule of seven. This is something that I live and breathe by. And I really feel like I need a t-shirt with this on, to be honest, because I'm so passionate about this concept. It's so simple, but yeah, it's so overlooked. And it's to eat what you enjoy, like absolutely enjoy, but only if you rate it a seven out of ten or above. Okay, so an eight out of ten, a nine out of ten, a ten out of ten. Stop wasting your calories on things you don't even like. Stop eating to fit in with what everybody else is doing, or binging on food that doesn't even taste good just because it's there. Usually, when we over-indulge in one kind of food, it's only the first few bites that taste great. Okay. It really is. If you eat more of what you love and leave the things that you don't love, you are going to be in control again. You are going to actually enjoy your meals a lot more. They will feel more like an occasion rather than just a meal that we eat. How many meals do we eat that we don't even remember what we had? And this is real emotional maturity, is really deciding what you want, what your standard is for you and your food. Power move number three is your non-negotiable three. Okay, so choose three things that keep you feeling like you this month. So you will have stuff in your life. If you are a Feed My Health client, actually, you'll have things that you know that you like to get done as part of the program that really make you feel accomplished, succeeding, progressing. If you aren't a client, then I want you to start thinking about what might make you feel like you and what you would like to implement. Or maybe it's things that you are already doing that you can do a little bit more of, or you want to implement implement more. So some examples might be to ensure you're hitting a step count every single day, a specific one, make it manageable, make it accessible, but don't let yourself off the hook and make it too easy. Like we can all do 2,000 steps just being in our homes. But what do you typically do on an average? If you take the average of like two weeks and then just kind of add a little bit to it. So you're giving yourself a little bit of a stretch. Protein at breakfast could be another example. 10 minutes of tidying up before you go to bed just for a little bit of mental clarity. You could set a rule that you don't scroll before 9 a.m. in the morning. You could make sure that you drink a glass of water before you have your coffee in the morning just to make sure you're hydrated. You could set a rule that you turn the lights out by 10 p.m. And this one's a golden one, really, because this is the month where everybody is having late nights and then we tend to lie in, and then January comes and we all feel really groggy and like slugs. So if you can keep that bedtime routine going through December, you are already a step ahead of the game. And then pick ones that you can actually stick to even on your busiest days. So I want you to think back to maybe a previous Christmas or your previous week, depending, and find the day that was the most challenging for you. Maybe you were really, really tired, maybe you had a big work schedule, maybe you had grandkids to look after or whatever. And I want you to think about that day and go, right, out of all of these little examples that I have given, which ones do I think would be the most realistic for me to have done on those days? And really challenge yourself. And this is not about weight loss, guys. This is about identity maintenance. Because when you align your identity with the person you want to be, and that person might be a certain dress size, it might, they might be able to stay fit and healthy year round, then that's what we're doing. We're cultivating the identity and then we maintain that year-round. Because when you stay connected to yourself, your choices will improve naturally, your hunger will die down, your energy will rise, and your confidence will stay intact. So here is the message that I want to leave you with today. You don't need to survive December. Okay. There's lots of people that absolutely adore Christmas, but they go into it like feeling like they've got to do so many things to enjoy one day. You don't need to do that, okay? The pressure that you feel is the pressure that you're putting yourself under and the pressure you're allowing yourself to feel. So you don't need to survive December. You can shape December into however you want. You can walk into January feeling really proud of yourself, really energized, and already in the momentum. Or you could walk into it feeling like you're starting all over again, but maybe from a difficult place. One choice keeps you stuck, and the other will make you completely unstoppable. Choose you, choose presence, choose the identity of the woman you want to be, not the one that you are outgrowing or you have outgrown. And remember, you do not need more motivation. You need a moment like this one where you decide I am no longer going to allow myself to abandon myself because it's December. Simple as. It is for that woman that struggles to ask for help, honestly. And that was me. That was many of our clients. And what we have all realized since doing things the Feed My Health way is that we make it a lifestyle. And when you feed your health and it is in alignment with who you want to be and your values, you never have to diet ever again. And instead, you become a woman who is unstoppable, who is powerful, and who is empowered. And that's what I want for you if you are struggling. My team and I help midlife women rebuild their identities, restore their metabolisms from years and years of fad dieting, and feel powerful in their bodies again, and more importantly, for life. So if you are ready to change the way you move through December, if you're ready to stop starting again, then all you need to do is send me a message on Instagram. All of the links are below as well in the show notes if you would like to get some support in any which way is right for you. But you can also send me a message on Instagram directly. It's rosalind.feedmyhealth. Drop me a word, drop me the word December in my inbox and we can have a little bit of a chat about what might work best for you. But thank you so much for tuning into today's episode, and I hope you have a wonderful week.