Journey to Well
We are not created to do this healing journey or life alone. In fact, it was Bessle Van Der Kolk who expertly shared “healing happens in the presence of an empathic witness”. That is the heart of this podcast & my business : to witness. You can expect a plethora of conversations on nervous system regulation, breathwork, human design & astrology, cycle alignment, energy & spirituality work and so much more. We are all on a journey back home to ourselves, rediscovering our innate power within & I am thrilled to take this journey to well with you. be well xx
Journey to Well
Empowering Parenting Through Human Design | Stephanie @embrace_yourdesign
Unlock the secrets of personalized parenting with our special guest, Stephanie @embrace_yourdesign, a 2/5 emotional authority projector and a leading voice in the realm of using human design in parenting. Stephanie takes us on a transformative journey, sharing how understanding human design has reshaped her approach to raising her four children, each with their own distinctive energy types. Through her unique insights and personal anecdotes, we explore the challenges of being a non-energy type projector parenting energetic children like generators and manifesting generators, and how this knowledge can create a more harmonious family life.
We dive into the practical application of human design to parenting, focusing on children's unique energy types and decision-making processes. Stephanie unpacks the intricacies of sacral versus emotional authority in kids and what that means for their behavior and decision-making. Learn how the defined and open centers in a child's human design chart can illuminate pathways for nurturing their natural confidence and adaptability. By tailoring parenting strategies to the individual needs of each child, we can create environments that celebrate their unique personalities and help them flourish.
Stephanie also introduces us to the concept of digestion types, which influence how individuals absorb food, information, and energy. We discuss how aligning mealtime environments with a child's digestion type can support their intuitive eating habits and overall well-being. From understanding profiles like the 2/5 archetype to examining family dynamics through human design charts, this episode is packed with actionable advice and strategies for fostering empathy and support in your parenting journey. Join us to learn how embracing human design can empower your approach to parenting and enhance your relationships with your children.
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be well, my friend
xx Hannah
Welcome back to the podcast journey to well. So today I was just telling Stephanie I'm super excited because we're talking human design, but we're talking human design in an avenue that I've never talked about before on a podcast. So Stephanie is well, let me make sure we get her human design out there. She is a 2-5 emotional authority projector and she has a Instagram channel which we'll put in the show notes below Embrace your Design, and she is an expert in using your human design in parenting and learning your children's human design, which I think is just wild. So I have some stories to share, but let's do the introductions first. So welcome, stephanie. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. Give a little introduction of yourself, whatever I always say, whatever you want to share. Like however you want to introduce yourself, there's no right way to share who's Stephanie and what's your story.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, I have been doing human design for a few years. I first started out just trying to understand myself. I'm sure we've all been there where we're like, oh my gosh, I'm learning more about myself. I'm kind of stepping out of my conditioning how I was raised and diving deeper into that, and the more I started to discover things about me that felt, um, like I had lived my whole life without understanding it. And then human design brought this awareness that I was like oh my gosh, I've never been able to explain it yeah um.
Speaker 2:so when that started working for me, I started thinking you know, how can I do this with my children? I have four children and as a mom you know I'm like oh my goodness, they're all so different and how do I parent them in a way that's supportive for them?
Speaker 2:And so I started to use human design to really see through their eyes, essentially, and see how the world looked different through their eyes and through their design than it did for me. And then how do I show up as a mother for each one in their design? How do I show up for myself in my design? My partner. So it's been really fun as it's grown and I've seen a need for that with parents. They're like help me like what do we?
Speaker 2:what do we do? You know, I think our generation is trying to parent in a different way, that's never been done before. Yeah, this is just one layer for people to learn how to support themselves and their children so I love that.
Speaker 1:I really do think that we are parenting in in different ways than our parents were parented um, and I remember when I started learning human design, so my sister is a reflector, which is really fun.
Speaker 1:And I'm a manifesting generator and when I learned my parents' human design, they're both projectors actually.
Speaker 1:So I was raised by two projectors and so like in human design if you don't know so much about human design, listening we have like projectors and reflectors and manifestors are called non-energy types, which doesn't have anything to do with you actually like energy levels, but so just being raised by the non-energy type, like being the only energy type, like the manifesting generator in my family it was kind of wild.
Speaker 1:But then my sister has two kids, two biological children that are both manifesting generators and her husband is a generator and her step kids I'm trying to remember I think one of them is a manifester and one of them maybe is a manifesting generator but just having like so many of the the big energies in her house being a reflector. So we talked a lot about her kids energy types and her kids human design and even like digestion types and right stuff like that, like define sacral centers and so learning all of that and kind of learning, like you said, like learning their life through learning to see your children's lives through their lens versus your lens. So I'm curious, just to start, like I know that you said that you learned your energy or your human design just for you first. So I'm curious if you can share a little bit about learning that you were a projector and that journey, and then parenting as a projector.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, oh, you said it. I think when you're a non-energy type, and especially when you're raising energy like generators and mani-gens, you know, for so many years I was like, why am I so burnt out? I just felt so burnt out, exhausted all the time, um, and so when I started to learn about being a projector, I realized that my gifts were actually very different than other people's gifts, and you know, they say that about 60 of the population are generators, manifesting generators. So the odds of you being raised by an energy type or um taught by an energy type at school or having coaches like that is really high yeah and so you're conditioned to think, oh, I'm the same as them, when the reality is you're not.
Speaker 2:And so I think there's a lot of uh ways that projectors, especially, can feel like they're not showing up enough, or like they're not good enough or they're lazy, you know. So for me to recognize that the world actually works a little differently for me than others was really valid yeah oh my gosh, I'm not doing it wrong per se, I'm just.
Speaker 2:I just need to shift it a little bit. Um, and then to realize that my kids, like how I'm going to parent them is going to be different than how. I need to parent myself. I don't know if I'm making it, Absolutely no that does.
Speaker 2:So I was like, okay, if, if, if I can work really well in these ways, then how can I honor myself but also provide experiences for my kids, who maybe have different needs than me, to still be able to use that energy to feel supported, without wearing myself out completely? Yeah. My, yeah, so being raised by two projectors, I'm sure it was probably very different than being raised by a Manny Jen and a Manifestor. Wow.
Speaker 2:And I have two projectors sisters and a Manny Jen and a manifestor. Wow, and I have two projectors sisters and one Manny Jen brother.
Speaker 2:So yeah like it's just. It's so funny to see family dynamics and to realize that the way that your parents maybe were raising you, it was in their way, not necessarily your way, and I really want parents now to be able to pause and say like, oh okay, it's okay if I'm a projector mom and I'm burnt out. It's totally understandable that I have these mani-gen kids that are all over the place and I'm trying to match that energy and then I'm worn out and they're you know, it's just. It can be very complicated. So using human design to say, hey, okay, you are this type of parent, you're this type of type of child. Here's how we can balance that and support Everybody is just really, really powerful and a relief.
Speaker 1:It is yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So that was that was really really helpful. And then to learn about authority you know how you make decisions. Um was life-changing for me Learning about my decision-making process and realizing that it's different than other people's. And. I often look to the world to say, like, how do I make this decision externally?
Speaker 2:And being told different ways oh, listen to your heart, or make a logical decision, or all these different ways of making a decision and then human design just said, oh no, this is your heart, or make a logical decision, or all these different ways of making a decision and then human design just said, oh nope, this is your way of making a decision and and here's how it works in your body, and here's exactly how to know if you made the right decision or not was super valid.
Speaker 2:I've never seen that explained to me anywhere, and so, when it comes to parenting, um, it feels like I can tell parents how their child will make a decision that's best for them, and they know the exact path on how to do that and support their child, instead of giving them information that may not resonate with them internally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for example, you may have a parent that has sacral authority, which is like that gut decision, it's like a yes or no, very clear, and that parent is raising a child who has an emotional authority, who needs to feel their feelings, and they're like processing through this and it takes time, and the parent is like yes or no, just feel it, it's in your gut, right? And this kid is confused because they're like. That doesn't resonate with me, but mom says so, so I'll do that, you know, and they go throughout their life trying to listen to their gut, but it doesn't actually work for them the same way. So I try to teach parents how to help their kids make decisions in a way that's best for them, and to know exactly how to help their kid go through that process. So it's really cool and it has helped me tremendously and I hope to help other parents have that clarity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, at least for myself.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't have kids, so I'm just going to keep talking about my sister because we're very close, but I know at least for her, even just learning that her kids were both mani gens, which we, we knew one of them definitely was, but um, the other one I was like I'm not sure, um, but learning that they're both mani gens.
Speaker 1:And then and then, speaking of authority, one is a sacral authority, one is an emotional authority, and just seeing the difference between the decision-making and the and the process and the processing that the emotional authority needs is completely different than the sacral authority. And learning that it is, I think it's very validating and I can only imagine, if I was a parent, because it's made such a big difference, learning how to, like you said, said, parent myself, learning how I can parent my children and support my children for their unique energy. I can only imagine the benefit that that would bring. I'm curious, so, if we're looking at a chart which I would say people listening are probably maybe more intro level, but so you can explain what pieces of the chart you're talking about, but is there certain areas outside of authority that you kind of are gravitating towards when you're looking at, when we're talking about parenting children children.
Speaker 2:Yes, 100%.
Speaker 2:I think we can intuitively read a chart very easily when we can understand some really basic concepts, Because I know for me, the first time I looked at a chart I was like no and I shut it. No, I can't handle this. So here are my really simple, easy guidelines to understand. So when you can look at your child's chart, you'll instinctively be able to pick out what you need to know right then and there. And I would say the most important thing you can look at are the centers, and what those are are the shapes on someone's chart when you glance at it. And I'm sure you know this.
Speaker 2:But if people are new to human design, when you look at the chart, it looks like a human body and it looks like all these chakras right and those areas like correlate with the literal parts of your body or parts of your personality. So when parents are new to this, I can say, hey, let's just forget all the numbers and all the weird lines and all of that and let's just look at the shapes. And I want you to pay attention to two things. I want you to look at where the shapes are colored in, because that is where your child or yourself were born, with this innate sense of knowing. It's like an energy that they carry within themselves. And the parts that are open, that are white, are parts that they're easily influenced by the world around them. They may feel like they can absorb other people's energy and it's a beautiful gift they have. But it can be a little chaotic when they don't understand that.
Speaker 2:So as a parent looks at the chart, you may instinctively see parts of them, their personality, that are a little more filled in and parts that are a little more open and, for example, two of my youngest daughters. They're very filled in at the top, like their crown, their mind, their throat. They're very headstrong children and those children are opinionated. They want to come up with the ideas themselves. They know you'll hear them say that a lot. I know Right, and so or if they're very, if they're very filled in at the bottom, they may have this sense of groundedness to them, where they stay and stand firm in what they believe. Or you know that that root center is very much like what's important to me is important to me and nothing else matters.
Speaker 2:And when you have a kid throwing a tantrum.
Speaker 2:That can actually play a big role in how they're showing up in the world, whether they're more easily influenced by you or others or not, and so you know.
Speaker 2:Another example is if their throat chakra is open, these children may have a more difficult time expressing themselves consistently, so you can have a little more grace when they're trying to tell you things and find other ways for them to get into the parts that are defined and then that are colored in that actually they feel consistent in.
Speaker 2:So I think that's just a really easy way you can look at your family's charts and say, okay, who tends to have more energy? You know in their, in their mind or in their heart space, and their identity or their, their root chakra, in their mind or in their heart space and their identity or their root chakra, and just get familiar with that. If you have someone with a lot of white space in their chart, they may tend to shift their energy a lot. Their personality may fluctuate compared to who they're with and what they're spending time on, whereas if you have a child that has a lot of colored and shapes on their chart, they may be a little more firm in who they are, and maybe I don't want to use negative words. These are all beautiful, right, but they may be a little more confident or stubborn or big energy, right?
Speaker 2:So that's just the easiest way for you to look at your family and see how they mix and match and how you can show up for each other?
Speaker 1:And how would you explain? Like how? Or do you look at all of your kids and like, okay, so one kid has an open sacral center, one child has a defined sacral center, or one child has a defined solar plexus and the other has and the other two have, like open solar plexus or whatever. Do you look at that? How, how would they, how would they, how would that interaction look in? And we can give example of just like one center, cause I know obviously they're all going to look different, but do you ever look at that too?
Speaker 2:Yes, of course. Yeah, I think one that comes to mind is the emotional solar plexus. So if you're looking at a chart, that is on the right side of the chart, it's the triangle like towards the bottom that's turned on its side, and that center is all about how we express ourselves emotionally. And so if you have a child or a parent that has that defined, they usually feel their feelings when they need to feel it, and they can be big or small.
Speaker 2:But again, it's not that people that have it open don't feel feelings, right, we all feel feelings. It's just whether it's an internal process or whether it's more of an influenced external process. So what may happen is, if you have a child with that defined, so what may happen is if you have a child with that defined, colored in, they may have this emotional wave that they need to feel. And then, if they're with people who have that open, what can happen is those people absorb that person's emotion, right, and they may amplify it. So they may take on that energy and either get even more worked up or try to take it on and fix it and change it really fast, right, whereas it could go the opposite way, where they don't feel comfortable absorbing that emotion, so they try to shut it down, they try to like stop it.
Speaker 2:And so that's where I find, if you have someone with a defined emotional solar plexus and they're feeling their feelings, I really teach people with that open to be able to pause and say is this my emotion, right, is this my feeling and do I need to take it on or am I trying to fix it? Am I trying to stop it? So let's give like a little brief example um, my son was going through one of his emotional waves and these people can feel big feelings like this is the best day ever or worse than ever. Right, the, the emotional solar plexus is not logical, it's pure emotion and sometimes, when they're feeling that, we, we as parents tend to want to correct them in that feeling and so my son last christmas was like this is the worst day ever and oh, going off about it.
Speaker 2:And I'm over here upset like, excuse me, like I just bought you all those gifts, right like yeah but I realized in that moment this isn't a logical experience, this is just purely emotional.
Speaker 2:And so to sit back and just let him feel all the feelings, say all the horrible things, feel all of it, and once it gets out then he could say, oh, like I feel better now and the rationale comes back on right. If you are someone that's absorbing that, you may want to control that experience for them, and so as a parent, you can just pause for a second and say they're just riding the wave, like, let them feel all the feelings, it's not rational and really show up and let them get it out.
Speaker 2:Once they do, then we can have a conversation about it and so that's really going to affect your home. It's going to affect your relationship with your child. It's um, it's going to help everyone calm the chaos a little bit when you can understand everyone's different emotional needs.
Speaker 1:I love that. Yeah, I know I know so many but no, but I love that you're talking about the emotions, because I feel like you know when we're talking about like temper tantrums or or just talking about emotions in general, I feel like that would, even that center would be so powerful to learn about if your child has an open or undefined or defined center, emotional center, the solar plexus, um, and just seeing how that plays out with the different, with the different kids, if you have multiple kids in your in your life, um, I like that a lot, so let's talk about. I know that you on your channel share a lot about digestive types, which I've had a mini obsession about a couple months ago and I just talked all about our digestion type. Can we talk, can you intro digestion types and then share how that's so cool to learn about with your kiddos?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes, this is. It's definitely a different way of thinking. So if parents are resistant to this at first, I totally get it. Take it as just a layer of information to think about, but it's not. You know, you can go extreme into it or not, doesn't matter, but I do find it very fascinating. Um so digestion and human design is essentially how we absorb information, how we absorb anything into our system, whether that's food, information, energy, all of it. Um so when you understand your child's digestive, digestive type, you can show up and support them better, because their body is going to absorb everything better if they can do this in a way that's according to their digestion type. So some of the types are 12 different types. Some of them will talk about literally how to eat or what to eat. Some will talk about like the environment in which they eat. Some talk about like the environment in which they eat. Some talk about, uh, maybe the stimulation they receive during eating or not.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's, it's really, really fascinating um and so if you can support your child in their digestion type, you can realize that they actually intuitively know what's best for them, and we can teach them to start trusting themselves a little more than controlling their eating experience. So an example is my daughter. She's four. She has what's called a closed taste digestion. This, I mean, I think it's funny, but it literally means she can look at her food and decide for herself what's good for her body or not.
Speaker 2:Which you know, parents always roll their eyes when a kid's like right, we're like, you need to eat your greens.
Speaker 2:Like yeah right, I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not supporting the fact that kids don't need to try things or they will rule the roost and they make all the decisions for themselves. But what I'm saying is that they actually do have this intuitive knowing of how they need to eat their food or study or whatever. So when I understand that at my daughter, I just give her options on her plate and then she can choose what's best for herself. And I've observed her and I've noticed that she does actually consistently go to similar foods over and over again and that is a pattern that's really cohesive with her eating type. She knows routinely this is what I want and this is what's really healthy for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So my son, for example, he is calm touch, so he'll actually absorb his food better when he's in a calm environment or if he's eating alone, if there's no TV on, if there's calm music on, if he's eating alone if there's no TV on, if there's calm music on. So I've noticed, as I've kind of given him some freedom, that he actually will eat almost before other people or he'll do his own thing for dinner.
Speaker 2:It's like very calming to him and I try to like turn off the TV. I try to give him some space, maybe allow him to eat after everybody's eaten. Um, for myself and my oldest daughter, we have consecutive digestion and this, oh my gosh, like my whole life made sense when I learned this. But, um, like, literally it, it, I okay. So I've been a picky eater my whole life, okay, even though I order like a ketchup, only hamburger, basically.
Speaker 2:I'm just like I don't know, I don't like these grownup complicated salads Like it's too much for me, and I've just kind of been embarrassed about it my whole life.
Speaker 2:Um, and then I I learned human design and I learned that a consecutive digestion is a digestive type that loves simplicity and my body wants to absorb like one thing at a time, and then the more I layer that like different foods, flavors, combinations the more complicated it becomes for my body. And so I naturally was simplifying my food so I could have better digestion. But you know, outside the world is like try to try to fit all the greens in your salad try to be right you know, like get a smoothie with all the ingredients and that actually not supportive for me.
Speaker 2:yeah, um, and so I. I learned like, oh my gosh, it's actually really healthy for me to eat very, very simple foods. It's better for my body and when I started doing that consistently for a while, I dropped weight pretty fast, like I felt very light, I felt very free, I didn't feel as heavy and tired all the time. There's there's 12 different types. You know I'm not going to get into all of that, but when you can learn and understand yours and then understand your children's, I think you'll have more compassion for maybe, how they're trying to stand up for themselves at mealtime and you'll realize they actually know what they need. So how can I support them in that?
Speaker 2:um within my boundaries as a parent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, uh, I love that so much.
Speaker 1:I know it was one of the biggest like aha moments for me too, and I learned my digestion type. Mine is direct light and when I learned that two, two things, one now and like what we find, I think, is, as we learn, we become even more aware of the way that we want to eat and the way that our body wants to eat. So in the winter it's like so ridiculous because I'm like I want to eat dinner at 4.30 PM, like because the sun is setting and it's dark by 5.30 and I just don't like eating. I don't like eating when it's dark, but it's also I find that I'm just hungrier when it's light out, especially around dinnertime, because I think, with the sun setting or I think it's more noticeable around dinnertime now that we're heading into winter, while we're recording this, because the sun sets in New Hampshire at like, I don't know like ridiculous, like 5pm or whatever it does. So learning that. But then the other thing, like you said, it's really just how we digest information, and so I was thinking back.
Speaker 1:I lived in a townhouse this is before I knew human design and I lived in a townhouse and it was a beautiful townhouse. It was a new build. We were the first people to live in it. At that point it was when I got my first full-time job, so it was like quite an upgrade from the little baby apartment that we were moving from and it was two floors, three bedrooms, two bathrooms. Like it was gorgeous and I loved it, but it was so dark. Like the way that the townhouse was designed was. The sun rose and it came into our bedroom window, so our bedroom was beautiful and illuminated and light in the morning, but the whole day the kitchen and the living room, which is where we spend most of our time, was so dark and like just did not have natural light. So obviously we had plenty of overhead lighting, which I absolutely hate, but we had that and it was fine.
Speaker 1:But I was like and I remember telling my partner at the time, I was like when we moved, like we're never doing this again and we have to tour places during the day, we have like I need to see how the light hits during in certain rooms and everything. And so now the house that I live in, in every subsequent house I've always been like, nope, your girl needs light. Like how bright is this house and the house I live in now gets beautiful light in the kitchen and the bedroom and, like in my office, is just gorgeous all the time and like just the way that the sun hits in and I only have one window. But learning that and then learning my digestion type is light, direct light.
Speaker 1:I'm like this makes so much sense why I just feel so much more motivated and kind of like you were saying, with the consecutive appetite, like I feel lighter, I feel less heavy and tired. I feel the same way with my digestion. When I'm in direct light and when I'm like eating, eating during the day and literally like light hours, I just feel so much better and like it's kind of weird to eat dinner at like exactly 5 PM, but it works for me, especially in the winter, and I'm like I feel better. I don't want to eat dinner at 8 PM when it's pitch black out, like I'm done.
Speaker 2:Isn't that amazing, cause it's, you know, it's not. Like it's these very subtle things that you learn about yourself, where you think here's what the collective thinks is normal, right, quote, unquote normal, whatever that is, um, you know, and and we try to adhere to that like wellness gurus say this, or um, you know, you're trying to diet and lose weight and you're like, oh, this worked for me, so it works for you, and I feel like my purpose is trying to teach people that, like, actually, there really is no normal vast array of personality, types of digestion, types of ways that we move through the world and we function, that what works really well for someone, right for you, that's eating during the day and dinner, where there's the opposite, indirect digestion is going to feel the opposite of you, so you may show up and say, hey, oh my gosh, this is so good for me and they try that and it doesn't work for them?
Speaker 2:yeah, right, and so I think the beauty of human design is that it can give you these small tweaks that will drastically change your life, or at least an awareness, right, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:When you learned that, you're like, oh, it makes sense now, like you, yeah you intuitively knew that right, something felt off in your old house and now it feels better. But then when you discover that in human design, you're like oh, I get it. Yeah, I understand now and now I can work better during the day, I can eat better during the day, and so I love that example. I feel like that's a perfect example. And when you have kids that maybe are eating during the day with you, but they're actually a nighttime eater and you're seeing that they want snacks when it's dark and you're like excuse me.
Speaker 2:You know why are you following? Like you know, we want things to be traditional, how we were raised or what works best for us. I'm trying to teach parents. Maybe kids aren't actually bad, or they're not um, obeying you.
Speaker 2:Maybe they're actually trying to listen to themselves and we keep stopping them and putting them in to what we think is right, instead of pausing for a moment to say, oh, like, how do they actually work and how can I support them in that and allow them the freedom to trust themselves and to eat when they need to eat or, you know, work in the way that they need to work. So, yeah, I love your example of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. It was just so wild when I learned like I feel like there's always a couple pieces of our charts that really stand out to us and definitely learning my digestion type, definitely learning like the manifesting generator piece of me being raised by all the non-energy types, has been really effective. Is there any other part of the chart that you tend to be grab, that you tend to gravitate towards Besides these pieces? I want to just open up like what you feel is really important for parenting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we covered some big ones. I do feel like energy type is a really big deal. Of course, you know that's like a very generic part of human design, but when we can start applying it to parenting, I do think it plays a big, big role in how you know if your child is living in alignment or not. And so, for example, if you have a mani-gen child, you'll probably be able to relate to this.
Speaker 2:Mani gens tend to like, change their mind a lot. That's how they're built. You know they need to start into something to see if it's for them. And so when you have a mani gen child, you you may come to them and say, hey, do you want to play soccer? And they're like, yeah, let's do it. And then they get there and they play their first game and they're like, whoa, not for me, Right?
Speaker 2:And if you're a parent and you see your kid constantly like quitting something or changing their mind, you may get upset with them because you're like how come you can't stick to something, you can't follow through with something, when the reality is they're actually meant to explore these different things, these different opportunities until they find the one that fits for them. And then they're like in it, and so being able to teach a parent that your child may shift and ebb and how to work with that and empower them rather than disempower them is going to be really important, whereas if you have, like, a manifestor child, they may be the kid that's like out the door, I'm going to do this thing and you're like Whoa, where are?
Speaker 2:you Like and you try to pull them back and you try to create boundaries and, like, hold them down, and they're not meant to do that. So, instead, how can we work with your manifestor to give them that creative energy and that independence, but it's still within a really safe boundary for them and they feel supported? But you can also, like I don't want to say control, but you can.
Speaker 2:you can structure that space for them yeah so there's there's a lot of different approaches that you can take in parenting that will feel really good for your child, um, but also like you'll have an awareness of how to support them rather than disempower them um bedtime, for example, like if you have a generator or mani gen kid who won't fall asleep.
Speaker 2:The odds are they still have energy that they need to get out so you know, let's have that kid like jump on the trampoline or do a little like youtube dance video, like to move their body, and I promise you they will crash, they will fall asleep but, the opposite happens for projectors, reflectors and manifestors yeah they actually need a lot of like wind down time before sleep. They need to like calm their body and release the energy that they soaked up from the generators all day and so you're going to approach bedtime with them very different.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's talking with them one-on-one or putting on calm music and helping them breathe like reading them stories. Um so there's just little tweaks you can make in understanding why they're behaving the way they're behaving and how do we show up for them in that way.
Speaker 1:My nephew is a is a. Manage him. He will like be talking all the way up until he falls asleep. Like he is so funny and even as he's falling asleep, when you're tucking him in, like you know, I'll like be rubbing his back and like we'll have this whole conversation. He always gets a little loopy and says like the most weird outlandish stuff, and then he like just passes out and like that's. I feel like that's just your classic Manny Jen situation.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's the perfect word like generators and Manny Jens, they just they pass out when they're ready to sleep, whereas I feel like, at least for me, I'm a projector and, um, I need that time to like before I like slowly kind of fall asleep, you know and these are very generic things, obviously these times where a projector is just going to pass out and sleep or whatever. But for the most part you can observe patterns and like themes with them and say oh very interesting.
Speaker 2:That's really fun and and experiment with it. That's what human design is. It's just a big experiment to see what works and what doesn't work.
Speaker 1:I love that reminder because I think that's something that I always share a lot with my clients and I try to keep reiterating on podcasts too is this isn't a tool to put ourselves in a box, or this, like human design, is not a tool to limit you. It's really this invitation to curiously approach, like how, how does my energy want to flow? Because then I mean then not that we'll get into this, but we can get into the conversation of conditioning and deconditioning, which is a huge part of human design, and that's something that we do need to think about. But if, if we're feeling, when we're feeling curious and when we're feeling like it's an experiment, like just playing around with it, and we're feeling light, that is when we can just experiment and and curiously approach how does my energy want to flow? How does my energy feel, like even bedtime right?
Speaker 1:Like how does my energy feel when I am jumping on the trampoline right before bed and like, or going for a walk or doing a little bit of a workout and then climbing into bed, versus if I'm you know the whole like bath and reading, or listening to some music or putting the phones away? I mean, well, I think we should never have a phone before bed. But that's my opinion. But you know like, and then how does my energy feel? And it's not so much allowing human design to tell you, quote, unquote, what is right for you, human design to tell you, quote, unquote, what is right for you, it's really just this invitation of oh, let me try it this way and see if it feels better, or see if it feels worse, and maybe, maybe it doesn't work for you.
Speaker 2:Well, and maybe your generator child? You know maybe, if they're not sleeping well over time, that they actually need to get their energy out more during the day right. Sitting like in school or video gaming. Maybe shifting that to being, uh, going on walks or getting them in a sport or something yeah that's really productive for them during the day and then still doing the bath and the calm down and stuff at night um yeah, I, I totally agree.
Speaker 2:It's a big experiment and it's a big um opportunity to just experiment and it's a big um opportunity to just become aware of something and try it out. And I think what's fun about working with kids is that they're less conditioned, they're less you know, they're more malleable still in who they are. And so when you work with adults, right, there's a lot of work around.
Speaker 2:Let's let go of what you've been taught to be yeah and discover more of who you actually are, whereas with children, they kind of come out already as their design and what's happening is that we're teaching them to be different than who they are and so what I'm? Trying to teach parents is let's just pause for a minute and say like wait, who are they? And then now, how can I teach them to be more of themselves? How can I?
Speaker 1:teach them to live in the world with, with, uh, the way that they were born to be and and to trust themselves more and to feel empowered and feel respected in that and it's cool, it's really fun yeah, I think it's really powerful because a lot of I mean, obviously I don't do the same, I don't work with parents so a lot of my clients it's uh, this huge permission slip of like I felt like I was so different my whole life and now I feel like I'm finally seen and I again I can only imagine, like how powerful that is. Using human design with your kids when they're so young and giving them that permission slip when they're so young to, yeah, eat what you feel called to eat, or eat in the mode that feels most comfortable for you, or you know if you have more energy. Like there's so many different avenues of human design but, um, and allowing them that permit or gifting them that permission slip, because we always we always do feel so different and I mean, chances are like a hundred percent chance that your parents human design is not the same as yours. So we, we were definitely parented in the way that our parents' human design was, which I've shared this on a podcast before.
Speaker 1:But when, growing up, my mom is a projector and she has two defined centers. She has a defined spleen center and a defined throat and everything else is open. So when, when we were talking about like the malleability right and like having other people's energy affect us, like that's a big part of my mom's life and a big part of my mom's story. So, and being a projector, rest was always very important to her. So growing up, we had quiet time. We always had nap time until we were too old, and then nap time turned into quiet time and when we were older she said at one point she was like yeah, once you guys got too old for nap time, I kept quiet time for me because I needed. I needed the quiet time. It's just like you guys did too you, you girls it was my, me and my sister, so you girls did too.
Speaker 1:But that's just such a classic example of like a projector and learning. I mean, I would imagine that you have your own stories being a projector yourself, learning how to take care of your own energy. But this is, you know, my mom obviously didn't know anything about human design, but it was a way that she was able to take care of her own energy and it was also very beneficial for my sister and I more so, I would imagine even my sister, you know, having all open centers. But is there, is there something that you have found that like this is how I need to parent as a projector. That really works for me. And then and then, what do you do with your kids that are Manny Jens? Do you just have them rest too, or what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that was such such a good example of like a projector mom. Like she intuitively knew what to do for herself. That's beautiful. And imagine, imagine the opposite, right Imagine. I guess my example is having a manifestor dad and a manny gen mom yeah even though we did have quiet time and encouraged play. Like manifestors have this very like forward moving energy.
Speaker 2:When they want to do something, they do it right and even though they're a non-sacral type, like they saw their own form of energy where they get things done, rest and and then having to manage and mom, like I was taught to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go go and work hard and to like, uh, from a manifestor, like, start things and you can do it, you know. And the manager mom was like now, keep it going, keep it going. I became, um, I think, the first, oh man, like seven years of, maybe like four or five years of having kids, my first two kids. I was so tired, I was exhausted because I was trying to keep up with what I was taught to do, how I was raised, right.
Speaker 2:Keep the house clean, do all these different things and um, before I even learned human design. I think I just had too many kids that I couldn't keep up, literally. And yeah, you know what I've got to let go of some stuff. I just I need to care for myself.
Speaker 2:Um and then I learned human design and realized, oh, I'm not lazy, like I'm not, whatever. My self deprecating thoughts were which deprecate a lot. Um, but I realized I just have a different energy level. So now, as a mom who has three generator children and a wife, I have two generators, one mani gen and one projector. How do I raise them and their energy?
Speaker 2:and how do I show up for myself? Um, and so I think that there are activities that I suggest in my courses and stuff where each type can honor themselves while also honoring their child for example, a really good projector parent thing to do with generator children is take them to like a park where you can sit and they can go run around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or I learned for me after years of feeling like I had to do it all um, that actually was really helpful to take my girls to a class or daycare or something where they could be with other people who could give them activities and stuff to do. Well, I got to stay home and take my time. Then I showed up better as a mother and they felt fulfilled because they had things to do rather than sitting at home with me while I'm trying to rest and they're trying to play and I'm getting frustrated and and all of that stuff going on.
Speaker 2:So I feel like it gave me a lot of permission as a parent to recognize my strengths and weaknesses if we want to call them that and then to balance that out and say how can I help my kids while also honoring me?
Speaker 2:And that's what I want for other parents is really just an awareness. Like I had a mom, I did a reading, a family reading, for a lady the other week and she called me and she's like I just feel like my life is all over the place my kids, my husband like, ah, she's like I don't know how to show up for them. And when I was able to look at each member of the family and explain a little bit about each one, she already intuitively knew this, but it was putting words to what she knew. And then we gave tips and tricks on how to navigate that and she left like feeling very validated, but also like having a clear path of how to honor herself and give herself.
Speaker 2:So much grace, um, but to know exactly what to do to help everybody else. And that was really refreshing, yeah, and for me to just look at her and be like, honestly, you're right to feel this way, because this is the energy that you're living with and you're not like crazy, you're not wrong, it is actually a lot. Um, and she was like, oh, okay, okay, like I'm not, you know, it's just, it's nice to be like, oh, yeah, I guess that is. There is truth to this and and now I know what to do now. Yeah, I'll make it.
Speaker 1:Uh, I love that it is, it's.
Speaker 1:I oh, it's so validating I can't imagine especially and that's where I mean we kind of spoke about this before we hit record that's where we can look at whoever we're in relationship with. So I love that I don't have kids and you have kids and we're having this conversation because we can look at our children's charts. We can also look at our partner's charts. We can also look at, like our coworkers charts that we spend the most time with, or our business partners charts, or or our parents charts. Like we can, we can look at, I would argue, or I would invite look at the people's charts that you do spend the most time with and see again, like same thing. Like look at their energy centers where are their energy centers colored in that yours are open and where are theirs open, where yours are defined, and look at their energy type and look at their authority. I mean there's like everything I feel, like everything that you talked about I really talk about, too, are my big ones. I like looking at the human design arrows, too, which is which is part one of the arrows is our digestion type is part one of the arrows, is our digestion type. So, um, but just looking at if they're pointing left or right and seeing that kind of again, that's more of their like energy, how their energy flows. Um, and compare, just see how yours is similar to theirs or the same and and how yours is different. Yours is different. I think learning my partner's human design charts, like past partners and then current partner, has really allowed me to give them more grace and extend more grace, especially like the projector that I dated, because I'm a manifesting generator, so like that energy type, that energy is different, and learning their energy and how they are created to move through the world. And then even my current partners, which we actually have a lot of similarities, which is kind of funny, but there's we flow very easily because we have so many similarities. He's a Manny Gen 2 and sacral authority and I think we both have threes in our profile. I think he's a three, six and I'm a one three. So just learning all of those similarities too, and how can we?
Speaker 1:Well, for me, again, it goes back to witnessing, like just witnessing how his energy moves throughout the day, being a manifesting generator, and how mine does, because of course, our charts are still different, but anyway, so learning, learning your, your people's, your people's charts, I think is very helpful. So last question, and then I'm going to pull up your chart while you're answering this question, because I want to pick out something to kind of chat about. But your last question for you is what is one thing you can use? You can say a couple things that you want to make sure that people know about human design that you want to share with people. Like thinking about coming on this podcast, like what is? What is that one thing, that passion that you really want to extend to the audience?
Speaker 2:I feel like I've probably said this many times um, already, but I just want people to understand that everyone is so different. We're all so, so unique and first, when you can understand yourself, you can actually have a lot more compassion and grace for yourself. You can, uh, tweak your life to show up in a way that's best for you. And when you start honoring that and kind of letting go of I don't know expectations or things that you've been told to be your whole life, you can start to honor yourself more and like that will increase your self-love a lot like drastically. But when you start to understand other people's charts and you see how you're the same, you see how you're different, I think it gives you a lot of compassion and love for other people.
Speaker 2:Um, I can't even count the number of times since learning human design that I started to maybe feel upset by something someone's done or said or behaved and then I remember that I've seen their chart and I know that they're showing up exactly how they need to be and it's different for me and I'm like oh my gosh, they're showing up exactly how they need to be and it's different for me and I'm like, oh my gosh, they're just being them and I'm being me and like isn't that funny how our energies work together in good ways and sometimes frustrating ways.
Speaker 2:Right and and I've just been able to like let it go and have so much compassion for them, and especially with my children. I have been able to show up so much better as a mother for them, and especially with my children. I have been able to show up so much better as a mother for them because I'm trying to control their experience, I'm trying to see the beauty in them for what it is and how they were born, and then encourage that and guide them and give them so much I don't know, so many tools and like so much empowerment for them to understand themselves and move into the world as them, instead of who they think they should be. So so I feel like the old style of parenting.
Speaker 2:Probably a lot of our parents were like we do this because, like this is just how it's done, yeah, right, because I said so, or don't feel your feelings, or whatever all those old school things are. And now I'm saying, okay, each of my children are unique and I understand how they need to move through the world and how I need to. So how do we combine all that and how do I guide them to do that? Um, maybe that's a very projector thing to say, though, as a guide or whatever. Um, oh my gosh, I love that, but really like I think I think it's empowering to say like, okay, I've got a little user manual for my child and how can I help them follow their own user manual while creating like boundaries as a parent to um, honor myself too. So that was a long answer, but everybody's different and it's beautiful and it's amazing and complicated and fun.
Speaker 1:That's just it's important to remember. I mean we always think like, oh, everyone else is this way, and like we put like everyone else in this one box, like I'm the different one or I'm doing it wrong, or why can't I just be like everyone else? And it's like how is everyone else? Because everyone else is so different too. And learning our, our uniqueness, and and it really does, I do agree Learning my human design has been probably one of the biggest tools to build self-confidence, and it's a different.
Speaker 1:It's like a different because we can talk about building self-confidence and self-love in like terms of mindset work and like shadow work and doing the like, positive affirmations and stuff like that, and all of that is so beneficial and I still believe in it and there's so many benefits to all of that. But learning my human design has given me that like rock of stability of like this is who I am, this is how I am, and there's nothing wrong with that. And I think that's what's different than the mindset work of just like really working on building self confidence is. I don't know, it's just. There's just something different about it. There really is, and it's almost like easier, I guess, because then you're not trying to change anything, Like you're just accepting the way that you are versus.
Speaker 2:Well being being a three you, you and your partner. You know, I have three children that are threes and they're experimenters, it not? You know? Yeah, learn through failure. So, instead of you know, I'm sure you can imagine like, instead of wondering, like, why do I keep failing? Like, why do I keep doing that? You're like, oh, this is how I'm built, like cool and owning it right, and I think that that's beautiful, that's the way that we can show up instead of, you know, degrad, degradating or self-degradation, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That empowerment to be like I was designed this way. This is really cool and I found that to be really, really empowering for myself and in giving myself a lot of forgiveness and compassion and then stepping into that even more, saying like, wow, this is actually a gift, this is a way that I'm different and how can I use that to help myself and others?
Speaker 1:yeah, I love that. Well, now I want to talk about profile, because you just brought a profile, but I was going to talk about arrows, so should we talk about human design, arrows or profile you?
Speaker 2:I, I love profiles because I think they're really fascinating okay it's really fun to kind of look at your family and see, yeah, I think they're like little archetypes, like little characters that we all play. I love that okay.
Speaker 1:Well, let's talk about your profile, because I was looking through, like I have everyone's charts that I've ever well, actually, let's, I have deleted some, so this isn't everyone's charts, but I don't really have a lot of two five profiles that I've ever worked with. Um, I think there is like two. So your profile in human design you you may know, but just in case you don't know people listening your profile is like your personality type. So like I love the archetypes idea, actually like making little, making little, like, uh, cartoon characters or something, but your profile is your personality type. So we have two different numbers in our profile. It looks like a fraction, so you might be like a one slash three, you might be a two slash five, a three slash six. There's 12 different profiles, I believe, and every number has its own profile, I guess has its own personality traits and then when we come together in that fraction, that kind of creates its own unique profile as well. So you, stephanie, being a two five, I love the five line.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's because my mom has a five line and I just love my mom and I think that she's so wise and the protector part, but I love the five lines, so the, but let's start with their two line. The two line is called the natural or the hermit. So the two line has this like I really hate using like introvert and extrovert, but like it does have like a little bit of that like introverted side of, like how you recharge your energy is alone and by yourself and getting out of other people's energy. And then the five line is the liberator or like kind of like and I don't like using this word either but like the savior kind of. So for me, like again and I'll just use my mom as as an example with the five line, um, she's a one five, but with a five line is gosh, like my mom always has the answer to everything, like my mom is so wise and even growing up, like if I was sick, right, like it's always go to mom, she'll be able to figure it out.
Speaker 1:And probably that one line too comes in real strong because that's like the researcher. But the five lines really cool to me and I don't I don't know why exactly, but I'm curious. And then we can talk a little bit about how they come together. But I am very curious to hear your two line and how your two line comes out as your conscious line, so being the first number, and how that kind of like plays a role in, or when you, when you learned about it, like was that another one of your aha moments? And like exhales where you're like, oh okay, this is me.
Speaker 2:Yeah it, the two is, it's um, so I've created my own like names for all of them. That made oh my gosh so for me.
Speaker 2:I called it to the genius Um, not, as we're smarter than it. It means to me, like they're the natural means we can kind of pick things up really easily. And yeah, you know those people in your life that, like everything they do, they can kind of pick things up really easily. And yeah, you know those people in your life that, like everything they do, they just kind of like can do it and you're over there, like how do you? What like how do you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know and they don't really know how to teach you or explain it. They're like you just do it, right, yeah, so I find that like I may have many, many different talents that I just pick up and I can just do it, um. But more importantly, I think twos have this kind of uh, mad scientist type of feeling to them.
Speaker 2:you know those people that you see in movies or whatever, where they get an idea and they have to, like, hold themselves up in a house for weeks on end and yeah like what are they creating in there, you know, and they're in there building something or whatever, and they kind of come out of that and they created this beautiful thing that you're like. Whoa, that to me is a two okay because we'll get this like I don't know, inspiration or pull to recluse, and to creative right and to pull away from the world and birth this beautiful thing and the whole world.
Speaker 2:When we recluse, the whole world pulls closer and it's kind of this weird push and pull. We want to be away from the world, we need our space, we need our time to go into this mad genius that we're coming up with, but the whole world's trying to get our attention and so when I learn that about myself. I will go into these little creative spurts where I just need to pull away from the world and kind of get obsessed with something for a little bit and then, I'll come back out.
Speaker 2:And when I was with my partner like I always fought this, and when we learned human design, we were like, oh, this is just how I am, like I'll come out of it again, yeah. And so I'd be able to express like, oh, hey, I'm about to go into my, my two, and they're like cool, okay, how can we support you in that? Right, I'd go in, I'd do my thing, I would create an ebook or I would study something or whatever, and then a couple days later come out of it and be like, okay, I'm back, like oh my god and so I just knew that was going to happen and I planned for it and we accommodated it and yeah, and then I felt supportive.
Speaker 2:I felt seen and I was able to express that more.
Speaker 1:I like that. I love that a lot. I've actually not heard the two line described quite like that, so that's really fun. Um, and then the five lines.
Speaker 1:So so for me, I think the five lines very interesting because it does have that kind of like save the day, energy like, and most of the five lines that I've worked with they're like yeah, people just kind of come to me and sometimes I feel like it's too much, like they are asking too much from me and learning so a lot of like the deconditioning and the process that we go with is is how to set boundaries, and learning the importance of boundaries and like really learning again to like turn back to your authority and is this something for me? Is this, is this like a, a problem that I want to solve, or I'm here to solve problem that I want to solve or I'm here to solve? But the five lines also do have this kind of natural ability. I would say kind of like how you're talking about the two line, there's some similarities of like this natural, maybe problem solving, or maybe like natural ability. So I'm curious how five plays into your, your profile, your life.
Speaker 2:I think you're right.
Speaker 2:Five is really interesting to explain to people who don't have it I think once I saw it I was like, oh my gosh, like again my whole life makes sense. The character I created for this is, um, I call it the idol character I created for this is. I call it the idol IDOL because the way I can see it and I've experienced it is people will meet a five and they automatically create this perception of a five, of what like they, they kind of cast upon them who they think they are. So imagine if you were going to you know an idol, idol or God or something, and you see it as this figure for you of what you need or what you want from that, and that can be a really empowering, beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:However, you're not actually getting to know the five as who they are you're getting to know them you think they are, and so what happens is, if you go to this, this, this five, as your savior and they don't live up to your expectations, then you can become frustrated with who you thought they should be for you that whole time. This person doesn't really even know that they created a persona for you, and so we're trying to live up to people's expectations that they have of us that we're not aware of.
Speaker 2:And so it can be this really confusing thing where you're like, essentially, this mirrors in front of the five and people are like, wow, you're amazing, and when you disappoint them, they can blame it on you, and you're like I didn't even know, like what, what to do? Right, you can be very confused, and that's where we get this wanting to help everyone, because we're unsure of the expectations they've placed on us and how we're going to live up to them or not. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely the reason I call it the idol is because I just imagine someone coming to this, this five, this idol, and saying like save me please. Like you know, asking them for things and having expectations, and if it doesn't go the way they want, they can come back and curse the idol.
Speaker 2:They can be like you didn't live up to it Like why is my life they can blame right? Or they can come and say well, thank you for saving me, thank you for whatever, blah, blah, blah. And the reality is, maybe it had nothing to do with that person to begin with. Yeah, I don't know if I'm making any sense.
Speaker 1:No, you are.
Speaker 2:If you're a five, I would say the best thing that you can do is to realize that you just need to be yourself, and I have had to learn that I will disappoint people without even knowing that they're going to be disappointed in me. Yeah, I can't live up to everybody's expectations, but the best thing I can do is be authentic to myself and that's really going to bless some people's lives, or it's actually going to really upset some people when I don't turn out to be who they thought I should be and I can't control it, and so it's a very unique number to be.
Speaker 2:It's very complicated, I think, but it can be beautiful when you are there to help people and empower them by living your truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I love, I love the way that you explained that. Yeah, and I, I have always like I always harp on, like boundaries and learning our boundaries boundaries more so with any other profile. Line five is is definitely like a lifelong journey and lesson of learning boundaries.
Speaker 2:Um, which always oh my gosh, like I. I'm going through that right now in my life. I'm projectors. Very much right. We want the love and attention from other people. We want that invitation and that being recognized. So when you're five like that, you're always trying to make everyone happy, and I've had to really learn like. I just need to be me. I need to empower myself and and that's when my alignment will happen, instead of worrying about what everybody else thinks of me or wants from me.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah yeah, I think that's such an important lesson for everyone and especially, yeah, so especially for the fives and the projectors. But it's such, it's such a beautiful lesson to learn. So, anyway, thank you. I guess that wasn't so much of me reading your chart. It was part part of me reading your chart, part of you just sharing your, your journey, but, um, anyway, so please share where people can find you. All of your tags will be in the show notes below, but for people that just are listening while you're driving or whatever, um, where can people find you? Where do you hang out the most?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So Instagram embrace underscore your design, my information's there. You can get your free chart. Currently, I'm doing readings at a really good price for people and I tailor that reading to you. If you want to do that for just your personal chart, or if you want to send me your children's, your family's, whatever, bring your questions to me and I'll be able to take a look at all of it and answer that and give you some practical advice, especially when it comes to parenting or personal work. So you can also order on there.
Speaker 2:I have reports that people can buy, but the fun one is that I have a parenting report. It's a. It's a report for your child. So if you get that report, then you'll not only get to know your child specifically, but I give very practical tips on what to do about it, because I feel like sometimes we learn human design and we're like, wow, cool, now, what right, what do I do with this? So I really take time to say here's what you need to know. And then here's what you do, and I have even charts that break down Like, if your kid is doing this, like throwing this tantrum, it's because of this, and here's what you do and here's how to know if it worked, and so it's really easy to follow and it gives very straightforward advice.
Speaker 2:So I really encourage that buying the report or doing a reading with me.
Speaker 1:Love that. That sounds so fun, that sounds so helpful. So I love that a lot. Thank you so much for coming on, stephanie. This is such a fun conversation. Thank you for your time.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I really appreciate it and, as always, I, as a projector, I love being asked to share my gifts, so thank you for the opportunity. Oh, my gosh, I love when I to, and invited to share my gifts, so thank you for the opportunity oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I love when I know projectors and I ask and I get to invite them. I'm like, please, I would love to extend the invitation.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's awesome. Well, thank you so much thanks, stephanie.