Journey to Well
We are not created to do this healing journey or life alone. In fact, it was Bessle Van Der Kolk who expertly shared “healing happens in the presence of an empathic witness”. That is the heart of this podcast & my business : to witness. You can expect a plethora of conversations on nervous system regulation, breathwork, human design & astrology, cycle alignment, energy & spirituality work and so much more. We are all on a journey back home to ourselves, rediscovering our innate power within & I am thrilled to take this journey to well with you. be well xx
Journey to Well
From Crisis To Alchemy | Rhonda Farrah MA, DRWA
Some stories hit like a brick and still manage to open a door. This conversation with author and empowerment alchemist Rhonda Farrah walks straight into the hard places—federal prison, stage-three breast cancer, divorces—and shows how surrender, self-respect, and service can turn raw experience into real power. Rhonda doesn’t posture as a survivor; she thrives, and she teaches the rest of us how to do the same with practical tools that start in the mirror.
We unpack what “fix your reflection first” actually looks like: choosing self-love without the if-then conditions, detaching from the how, and shifting from frantic chasing to calm receiving. Rhonda’s core formula—gratitude plus forgiveness—comes alive through a two-letter practice you can do today: forgive yourself on paper, then forgive the person who hurt you, without ever mailing the letter. The result is lighter, clearer energy that frees you to assume the relationships, health, and work you truly want. Along the way, we talk about the Law of Assumption, how fear and love create different thoughts and outcomes, and why asking for a sign can move you from doubt to direction.
We also zoom out to timing and meaning. With numerology as a lens, Rhonda explains why this is a nine year of endings and how to enter the one year of beginnings with intention. The invitation is simple and brave: release what doesn’t serve you so you can receive what does. If you’re ready to rewrite the story you tell yourself, build community without the “it’s hard” script, and treat your life like the gift it is, this conversation meets you where you are and points you toward what’s next.
If this resonated, follow, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review. Want support? Reach out to Rhonda at helpmerondanow.com or rhonda@helpmerondanow.com, and tell us: what are you releasing before the new year?
Explore Rhonda's group coaching container: Fix Your Reflection First...And Live Your Best Life Ever! @ https://helpmerhondanow.com/group-coaching
Let's connect on social media! You can find me @ _journeytowell
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be well, my friend
xx Hannah
Hello, and welcome back to the podcast Journey to Well. I am your host, Hannah, and today I am joined with Rhonda Farah. She is an author, she's an empowerment alchemist coach, she's a speaker, she's an entrepreneur, a spiritual teacher. We have a very fun and I would hypothesize uplifting and positive conversation and message to share today. So uh Rhonda also is a 4-6 sacral generator. We were just kind of touching on human design. So that might come up in our conversation a little bit. I like to teach human design in a more naturalistic kind of spur of the moment, learn in little chunks rather than have a huge human design podcast every week. So that's where human design comes into play in the podcast. But Rhonda, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for taking your time. And I would love to give you the microphone to introduce yourself. Who is Rhonda? What hats do you want to put on for today's introduction? And then we'll get into our conversation.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Well, first of all, Hannah, it's my pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me as your guest. And I would dare to guarantee a very inspiring and motivating conversation between us for our communities to view and listen. Let me give you a little personal background. I'm the oldest of five, three brothers and one sister. And through oh, about third grade, we all grew up in an extended family. Some people know what that is. It's under one roof. There were 13 people at any given time. So there's five was five of us, my parents, grandparents, aunts, great aunts. And it was an environment of primarily women, and uh lots of love and lots of discipline. So I grew up in an environment where not that men don't nurture, but nurturing goes to women primarily. So I learned how to be a nurturer, the oldest of five. Um I was the role model, whether I wanted to be so or not, um, which was always a treat. And um it paved the way for me to go into the field of psychology, psychotherapy, to be of service to others, educational counseling. Um, and that's what I did. I that's exactly what I did. So I credit the way I grew up from a very young age that instilled me with being a nurturer, with nourishing others. We'll get to whether or not I was nourishing myself as we move on here. That's a little bit of the yeah, okay. That's um that's some personal background. Um, and while I have plenty of educational degrees and certifications, my credentials are really my life, which began uh, well, on a subconscious level, well before midlife, but began with a series of some people call them crises, I call them escapades and adventures. Yes, adventures. Okay, and they include um incarceration, breast cancer, uh a minimum of two divorces, very close together, and financial collapse. So I learned I learned two things. First of all, I call it God, I was raised Judeo-Christian, whether you call it universe, source, spirit, the divine, that essence, that presence was trying to get my attention early on, and I just was not listening. And finally, um divine source, God put me in a major timeout for nearly seven years in a woman's federal prison camp. No bars, okay. And I learned how to find through my subconscious mind, primarily, the gift and the blessing in that, which served me through the other adventures that I went through. Um, so my attention was definitely in the forefront now because I found myself in an incredible situation that I never thought I would be in, a person who has never had uh a speeding ticket, never took any drugs. Um, it's like, what am I doing here? And the thing to remember, because this is what I teach, is whatever it is, we call it forward. Whatever it is, and many people disagree with that and they don't want to hear it. No, we do call it forward. Our subconscious mind, she's working over time, she knows what we need better than what our conscious mind knows. So we call it forward, and then we get to decide what we're going to do to learn whatever it is we have to learn. Some people call them lessons, some people call them other things, but we learn what we have to learn. So through these adventures, I put the term on myself, alchemist. And many people say, What is an alchemist? What do you do? Well, I help others, because I'm the poster child, I help others take all the joys and the successes as well as the challenges, the struggles, the adversity, the sorrow, that not so good stuff, and make it work for them rather than anything less. So that's where that comes from. And when I say my credentials are life, primarily, I have plenty of tools, psychotherapist, alchemist toolbox. I draw from them on a regular basis, and we can get into some practical things for our listeners and our viewers as we go on. But that was when I became dedicated to awakening hearts, minds, and most especially spirit, to our innate power from within, our authentic power from within, which is the power to thrive rather than merely survive, regardless of situation, circumstance, happenstance, regardless of where we end up, regardless of what we call forward. Brief introduction.
SPEAKER_01:I could listen to you all day, Rhonda, honestly. So thank you for that. I love your choice of words in adventures because I know myself included that we go through situations in our life, and especially as we're going through them, it's very difficult to see this as an adventure, an escapade rather than some terrible, horrible thing or whatever, or a crisis, like you worded it. I like that um opposing word as well. I'm curious if this mindset was seeded or planted before these adventures began, or if that's really throughout the incarceration, the cancer, the divorces, is that really where it was birthed?
SPEAKER_02:Um, I think it was birthed. We all have our script. It was birthed well before any of my adventures. Um, and it was looking to come out, but it, you know, Rhonda wasn't cooperating. And that's why my attention had to be gotten. And I think everybody's attention is gotten one way or another. It starts with little pebbles that cause ripples, then maybe a two by four has to come out. And I got a brick, okay. I got a brick because God, mother and father, God said, uh, I won't use any expletives, but the it's okay, this woman is not listening, she's not getting it, she's going in a major timeout, and I did. And that began the journey of fine-tuning tuning. That began the alchemy version of my life because alchemy is the precursor chemistry. So when you are are alchemizing, it's you like you take you take these rough stones and they turn get turned into a gem, precious metal or otherwise, and that's exactly what happened. Now, I didn't plan it again, subconscious mind, but I called it forward. I wasn't conscious of what I was doing, but I was calling forward what I needed to be the best version of myself, which everyone can do, and hence that's when my brand changed four or five years ago when I really got serious about this. When you fix your reflection first, your own reflection, whether you look in the mirror, a pane of glass, your phone, uh fix your reflection first and live your best life ever, because that's where it begins. If and I talk a lot about self-love, liking yourself, self-respect. Oh, there's my God breath. You'll hear that throughout the course of this uh conversation. My God breath indicates this is what you should say, you're on the right track, go for it. People need to hear certain things. So I got real good at listening from within, and I got real good with learning how to appreciate myself, with learning how to love and appreciate myself just the way I am now, just the way I was. Learning how to fall in love with who I am becoming, and that is something that I think our listeners and viewers would like to know how to do.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I would really like to dive into that because I I first of all, I love this tagline, if you want to call it, uh, your brand of fixer reflection first, and something that I know that my community and I think the world really loves learning about my kind of languaging is learning how to trust your intuition, learning how to trust that inner voice. And I use it through the lens of human design, oftentimes, which is a really beautiful tool. But I am curious how you I think it's very easy for us to fall in love with the version of ourselves that we feel would be worthy, right? So if I lose 10 pounds, then I'll find my husband. If I get this degree, then I will get my dream job. If I buy this car, then my friends will find me, you know, more powerful, more attractive, whatever it is. Oftentimes this if-then statement. And to be able to fall in love, like you said, with exactly who I am today. And you said something interesting and who I was, which that's that's an interesting addition to this statement. That I would argue is is our life, is our life journey, is is our life lesson, is falling in love with who I am in this moment and trusting and and believing that I'm going to be in love with myself tomorrow and in the version of me a year from now, which may or may not have the things that are on my manifestation list of taking the job and getting the husband and you know, moving to this new area. So, how and we can get practical here. I I love tools. Um, how do we begin this journey of fixing our reflection first? And really, what does that mean to you? And and how has that shown up in your life? How did that alchemize throughout your life?
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think the how it show has shown up in my life is I may have thought it, but did I really and believed it, but did I really know it? So to know, know for me that I was whole, perfect, and complete, even with the adventure of women's federal prison camp, even with the adventure of breast cancer, uh, even with the divorces, the financial collapse. I'm still whole, perfect, and complete, just the way I am. So maybe I was looking all those years before my adventures, yeah. Every time I looked in the mirror, I caught my reflection in a pane of glass. Oh my god, Rhonda, you are so beautiful, you're intelligent, you're articulate. Geez, you love to cook, you love to garden, you're athletic. Um, I've been a distance runner for 50 years now, and it's like, did I really know that? Yeah, I was saying it, probably not. So I called forward something else, lots of stuff that were things that I've are proud of the not so good stuff I refer to them. I don't think anything is uh negative. I think it's not so good, it's not what we expect. But my point is I was getting in my own way. Now, the Mayans have an interesting uh thing because um I'm I can trip real easily. Okay. Three weeks ago I took a trip, I took a fall, and a minute I thought, oh, okay, well, how am I getting in my own way? When I had these series of adventures, those were what others called failures. Failures I fell. The purpose of falling is so you can get up. So how do you get up when you fall? Okay, you get up, you get up, gather yourself and say, okay. There is a gift and the and a blessing in women's federal prison camp. There is a gift and a blessing in breast cancer, nearly stay stage three. I had a lump on my breast 11 months before I was released from prison, and I was not doing anything about it until I got home. There is a gift and a blessing in divorce. We'll get to that. And there is a gift and the blessing and all that not-so-good stuff that happens to us because it happens, and I'm not immune to it at all. And I love immediate gratification as much as the next person or more sometimes. However, there is something to be said about what we have in our life that's long-lasting, reasons, seasons, and some are longer than others. When it takes a little longer to get where we think we want to be, we may be getting in our own way. And it's but it's much more long-lasting. So when people say to me, Well, if you could have changed these things in your life, I know I would have had everything just the way it is. Just the way it is, because I learned about myself. So as I went through these escapades, these adventures, I noticed something about myself. The very thing that I had lost way back when, my sense of self with a capital S was now emerging. The onion skin was being peeled away. Okay. When you peel an onion, there are tears in most cases. Through all of my adventures, I had tears and I had laughter, and that's a sign of growth. So anybody who's crying or laughing, you're growing. Yeah, like it. Oh it may be sticky business for you sometimes. You just may not like it, but you're growing. And that's what we're meant to do: to grow and to evolve.
SPEAKER_01:I love the capital S, self and rediscovering yourself. Do you think that a lot of this growth, this rediscovery, this alchemy, I have found in my life that it often comes in the really, I will swear, really shitty situations that you well, yeah. I was going to say that you don't ask for, but I actually really love your perspective of your subconscious calling it in for a reason. And I think that's a really powerful mindset shift. But do you my question is do you feel that this growth? Do we ever grow when we're comfortable when there's not shit happening? No, no.
SPEAKER_02:I'm glad you brought that up. Is it I'm writing my memoirs and they'll be done spring of 2026? But the name of it, the working title is Growing Where I Am Planted. My journey in conform in consciousness to transformation, my journey in my consciousness to my transformation. And you know how I came up about that? I'm in Colorado Springs right now, and I will be in Connecticut before the end of the year, which is where I grew up. And I'm running around in Colorado Springs about three years ago, and here is very weird weather. It snows, but then it melts. So it snowed, but it was the time when things were blooming. And here I am running along, and in between the curb and the sidewalk, somewhere. I was in the street, in between the curb and the sidewalk, I looked to my left, and there is a marigold coming up. And I said, Oh my god, I took a picture of it. And that hence growing where we are planted. Now, those are pretty adverse conditions for the marigold to say, Oh, good, spring is here, wherever that seed came from. I mean, it's hard enough. It's not, it's in this weird soil kind of, you know, sand between the curb and the sidewalk, but it's still beautiful, it's growing where it's planted. And the way when we all have the shit going through our lives, because yeah, you said it very prolifically, that's the what happens. Um, I help people take the joy as well as the shit and make it work for them rather than anything less. So to grow where one is planted, one must find the gift and blessing in whatever they're going through. And you're right, it's more times than not. It's when it's shit, when it's not, oh, things aren't really going that well. Uh and believe me, I'm no Pollyanna. I like immediate gratification. Okay. However, my sister says, Oh, Pollyanna's at it again. And so I said, No. Um, so when we take that, when we understand what the gift and the blessing is, no matter what we're going through. You want an example of my own?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:After about a year in women's federal prison camp, I stopped banging the phone against the wall, saying to whoever I was talking to, get me out of here. I don't belong in here. I stopped. I stopped, and what and what ended up happening is that's my aha breath. That's where that came from. That was my point of surrender. Whether I realized it or not, that was absolutely my point of surrender. I stopped that shit. And I that's the subconscious that did that. And I just said, there's the aha breath. Oh well. That began my journey. That I found the gift and the blessing, regardless of where I was. I began to write more, I began to read more. I was asked to teach wellness classes to my fellow inmates. I was the only inmate teaching. And it was part of this program. Uh they called it the drug program. Those people with drug charges, whether they were using, taking, whatever they were doing with drugs, could get a year off their sentence if they took this career curriculum. So I was teaching and I loved it. I taught my own version of wellness, had nothing to do with drug addiction or anything else or substance abuse, but I was teaching how emotionally and thought-wise, cognitively, we can what you said earlier, put ourselves in the mindset to be in well-being rather than ill-being. After about a year of doing that, I went to my counselor and I said, Do you think I could get a year off my sentence? Because I'm teaching. Yeah. And he said, Um, no, you don't have a drug crime. I didn't. And so I'm nonviolent, no drugs, nothing like that. As a matter of fact, after I served my time, my sentence was expunged.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, but that's a that's another, that's another episode. So, but my point is that when I that was said to me, I didn't say, what the hell do you mean? You're an asshole. I didn't say any of that. I said, Oh, oh well, I did. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I went on my way, and because I had surrendered, I was content in taking the gift and the blessing that that particular escapade had pivoted me right back into being of service to others. Never in a million years did I dream it was going to be there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Never, never. But it was. So I could have been a victim, I could have been disgruntled, I could have been uh a lot of things, but you know, victimhood, martyrdom, it's really not that attractive on me. So I went on, but there were still possibly these things underlying um that were affecting me, but I didn't really know. Yeah, you know, when you I miss my family, I had a daughter, I have a daughter now, and went through that and knew that something else was coming down the lane in 2005 for me. Because when I was released, I went immediately to my own doctors, and uh had a then I they scheduled me for a biopsy and none other than breast cancer awareness month, October of 2005. I went and the once the phone calls started, they kept coming. What did what was the biopsy? What's going on? Well, my words were I remember them like it was yesterday. Not the best news, but not the worst news. My daughter had said to me, When are we gonna get a break? You just came home, and I said, Dear, understand, I will be dancing at your wedding and I will see my grandchildren. And I was, and I did. I don't know where that came from. It was a God thing. Things that I don't know where they come from, they're God things for me. So that all happened, but what the whole prison adventure taught me was that I have the wherewithal. This was more painful. This is looking, I'm looking at mortality in nearly stage three breast cancer, and I'm thinking, this is incredible. I'm an athlete. Why is this happening? Okay, then I started to look into the research a little more. Two things happen. First of all, the research bears that when breast cancer in women is because we do not know how to nourish or nurture ourselves. We're good at it with everyone else. But when it comes to us, not necessarily, and I my hand goes up for that. Yeah, I wasn't nourishing and nurturing myself. Yes, I was taking care of myself, I was in great health and the whole thing. But what was going on for me? Maybe I felt less than, maybe I felt like I was not enough. That's how, as women, we go there. Okay, we go there. Yeah, now I got this thing on my head, my forehead, this label. I hate labels, by the way, called felon. Okay, let's add that to the not enough. Okay, let's add that. So it was then that the alchemy hat really was put on. And another thing happened. I don't like hospitals, I don't like doctors. And even though the surgeon said this can be chemically treated, that meant chemo, uh, that was still music to my ears. I don't want to do it. Okay, I didn't want to do any of that stuff in the hospital and the cutting and the radiation. I don't want to do any of that. Um, so a friend of mine came home and gave me a card to a medical Qigong practitioner. More music to my ears. I went to see him, and three weeks it was a series of chanting, uh prayer, some changes in the diet. And at the time I had dogs, so here I am chanting in front of a huge mirror, a whole wall of mirrors, and the dogs are howling. That was the vibration that was what was happening, and that was what was supposed to happen. So, about three weeks, this person says, Go back to your oncologist and have another ultrasound, because Western medicine has the best diagnostic techniques. Went back, my daughter's with me, and my oncologist she says to me, Rhonda, I don't know what you're doing, but you're shrinking your tuber. And my daughter's head spun around on her neck, and she said, You're buying this fucking shit too. Honest to God. Sorry about the F-word, but no, I'm not sorry. Um, so it was at that point I still had this fear of the hospital, of chemo, of all that other stuff, and I made up my mind. No, I'm gonna go through Western medicine as I still continue to do eastern medicine as well, which helped me with side effects with what I was going through, but I did it. I I I needed to do it for myself, and I had I was again the gift and the blessing and everything. The gift and the blessing in that situation is I still had a window of time even through chemo. Believe me, I wasn't running very fast, but I was jogging, and I had a window. Chemo was on Thursday, right up to chemo, and then I was down and out by Saturday. I was in bed, and that's okay. Rest of time is good too. Um, but my point is I I could still do some things, I had very little side effects. I lost my hair, but most people said you look like a prophet, so I said, I'll take that, I'll take that. New style. New style. Okay, so uh that is over with. I did have an adverse reaction to some of the chemo, but I was ready to plow right through and do it. And my doctor said, Oh no, you're done for today. We'll see you in two weeks. And but I was I was ready, I knew I had the power within me to do this because I had overcome the fear. It's interesting. I only believe in two emotions, fear and love. This is how it works. When we feel fear, right here, because this is where it begins in our heart space. And that's where the God of my understanding is, begins in our heart space. What we're feeling, whether we're feeling fear, we produce these thoughts that produce our external world. Feeling love, we produce other thoughts, which produces a different external world. I bring that up in this bread the breast cancer escapade for one very important reason, because it then came to my attention that 45% of women with breast cancer that were a lesser degree than my stage three. Don't make it. They expire. That's it. They make their transition earlier than they thought they were going to because that's the mindset. I was never a victim. I don't say battle, my battle with cancer. I had no battle with cancer. I had an incidence of breast cancer. I'm not a breast cancer survivor. I'm a breast cancer thriver. And again, I began teaching to my fellow people. And I had to go in the hospital to do that for group every week. But I did. Again, pivoted back right to being of service to others. It was a long serendipitous route from prison to breast cancer and then the rest of the stuff. But my point is, I found the gift and the blessing. I at least I was open to that. I wasn't closed-minded. I didn't like what was happening. However, I knew I would not only overcome it, I would be better for it. And I was, and I am, and I continue to be. And I finished my chemo, and then comes to the day of cleaning out margins. Once again, my daughter was with me. It's my right breast. I have a wonderful uh incidence of breast cancer scar there, and no one's ever complained. And I love her just as much as I love this one. So I went, I'm in the surgical center in beautiful Monterey, California, and I have the best breast guy there is, my surgeon. That's what he was referred to as in all of the Americas. And I said, Okay, I'm lying in the gurney and looking out this window on a beautiful day. Nurse comes over who would later be my OR nurse. And she said, Rhonda, can I get you something? I go, No, I'm just having a little talk with God. I know everything's gonna be all right, but I just asked God for a sign. She's looking at my hair and she goes, Oh, your peach fuzz coming back, growing back fine. She pulls her skull cap back. This is my OR nurse, I found out. Pulls her skull cap back and she says, Maybe your hair will grow back like mine did. She had gone through the incidence of breast cancer. She was my sign. You're gonna be all right, Rhonda, because there's more work for you to do. It's time, Rhonda, to take all your messes and make them into a message to help others. That was a very explicit sign. Very explicit sign. And I remember her till today. But and here's the other thing: don't be afraid to ask. I don't care who or what you believe in. Ask and know that you're not alone. You're not alone, ask, knock, and the door shall be open. Ask, you shall receive. You don't ask, well, whose fault is it that you didn't ask? So it's it's very it this all goes back to it's our responsibility to go within. It's our responsibility. If we wish to live the life we desire, perhaps the life we dream about. It's our responsibility. Don't wait for the government, don't wait for your spouse, don't wait for your boss, your colleagues. It's you, it's you. You cannot change anyone, but you can change yourself and watch when you change something about yourself, even a small thing, watch how everything and everyone changes around you. It's largely the psychotherapy hat came off as well because I got tired of people saying to me, What why is it taking so long? I've had a very lucrative lucrative practice in Connecticut. Why is it taking so long? Why can't you fix it? And I remember one individual in particular, and she said, after two sessions, barely two, she said, This isn't working. I go, well, how long did it take you to have this estranged relationship with your daughter? She looked me in the eye and said, Oh, it took me years. Took me years, and to get this way with my daughter. And I go, you know, honey, I'm good, but I'm not that good. So I'm not your gal. And we parted. You see, it's not my right nor my obligation to want for someone what they do not want for themselves. It's no one's right nor obligation. Work on yourself, put the spotlight on yourself and say, shit, look in the mirror. This sucks the way things are going. So what is it? And where that's where we start. When I say to someone, what do you want? I don't know. Well, what don't you want? I'll give you a real life example. A woman said to me, I want a relationship that's not as bad as the one I have. About a year later, she got exactly that. It was bad, but not as bad, and not as bad. That's tough. Understand what is it that you want?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Sometimes, and and some people are afraid, and I used to be this way. I used to be a people pleaser. Yeah, that I shared that alone. I don't care what people think about me. I really don't. I care, but I don't care. I care about what I think about myself. When people adopt that, what do you think about yourself? And what would you like to change to think of yourself in a better way? Because that is the beginning. It's not just attractive, it's the law of assumption. You assume the goodness in your life. I'm not just talking about a partner.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:If you respect yourself, if you like yourself, if you love yourself, if you esteem yourself, if you appreciate yourself, that's what you will assume back to you, not just in a romantic relationship, other relationships in your life, in your career, where you live, who you keep company with. It's so important, yet it's so overlooked because in our immediate gratification society, we want a wand waved over us. And I have a Harry Potter wand, but I don't use it. I just like to look at it, touch it because it's it takes work, it takes work, and we must do the work. I can't do the work for a hundred people, even in the groups I teach. I can't do you got to do the work, and we're learning from each other. I learn as much from my students and participants, or maybe more, than they learn from me. Because I'm open. I'm open.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I I say that all the time, that I learn so much from the people that I work with, and I really do feel that the things that I have called in the quickest, that law of assumption, I love that. It's it really does go back to our mindset and our belief systems and the stories that we tell ourselves. I always give the example of um there's a moment in my life where I found myself leaving a seven-year-long relationship in a city that I had lived in for about three years, but really didn't have any community, didn't have any friends. And um so I bought, I still wear this necklace. If you're watching the video, you can see it. It's just a little, it's just a little like tent, actually, with a diamond in the middle.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but I bought this, it was it was from a company and they send you a little like write-up. So the the title of this necklace is tribe, and it talks about your tribe and how you call in the people of your life. And um, and I set the intention that I am going to build my tribe here in in Jersey City at that time. I'm gonna build my tribe where I am, a physical one because I have beautiful, amazing friends, and they all tend to be in the other areas of my life that I've lived. So at that time, North Carolina, Georgia, New Hampshire. And um, and I never once had this story in my mind that it's hard to make friends. And I know that that's a story that a lot of adults, I'm gonna say adult women, but but adult men, just adults in general, a lot of adults tell themselves because it is work, right? It's not, it's not, um, I don't even want to say it's not easy. It is work, but it was never the the subscription that I paid for to tell myself that it's hard to make friends. And I did. I made beautiful friends, and then I moved to different areas, and now I'm in New Hampshire, and I continue to find these beautiful, and I love that assumption. I assume these beautiful people in my life. And all of the all of that to say that all of the things that have come most easefully to me are things that I never doubted in my mind. And it's the things that I doubt in my mind and the stories that I get caught up in. It's gonna take this amount of time, or I need to get this degree before I do this thing. Those have been the most complicated. And I don't really know, kind of like you, I don't know where that came from of like it's not difficult to make friends. Um, whereas other things in my life I know that I I overthink, overcomplicate, and hold myself back from. But yeah, that's what I was thinking about when you were sharing your stories. It's the things that that we believe. Um, and and we have to do the work sometimes to believe them or work through the fear that you're assessing.
SPEAKER_02:To know, to know, to know. You make an interesting point. Um when you say you were overcomplicating things, and you know, we all do it, and this is because I know the people that consult with me, that I coach audiences that audiences that I speak with and two are well, this is what I want, but I don't have any idea how I would get it. And the first thing I say is don't worry about the how. And the second thing I say is detach from the outcome. If this is what you want, write it on a piece of paper. Yeah, can be for your eyes only, but write it because 95% of us learn visually. Write it on a piece of paper, and don't worry about the how, but listen because you are going to receive. They will then start calling in, receive. You're not gonna chase. There's a difference between chasing and receiving. If you keep chasing, you're never gonna receive. It's like you're chasing it away, you're chasing your blessings away. Listen, and you were going to bring in the resources, the people, places, situations, circumstances, and events to get you what you want. And I recently wrote a post just yesterday life is a gift. Sometimes gifts aren't wrapped with a bow, but it's a gift. So understand that your failures, relationships, whatever you've been through, etc. They're gifts. I had a string whether it was divorce or failed relationships. I needed to stop a pattern, and that was about the time I was looking in the mirror and saying, Oh, I'm attracting, I'm assuming that I'm not enough. And this is who I'm attracting and assuming into my life. This is what I'm receiving, and believe me, I'm very grateful for all my failed relationships. I get I am. It's two of them are from women, and I learned, I thank them very much because I learned how to love, appreciate, esteem, like, and respect myself. Without that, it couldn't have happened. I'm leaving the state of Colorado. I've been here for four years, and for about two years, my friends, I was in California. Another divorce brought me here to a work project, and now I'm going home. But I'm often asked in person, and um hosts on shows, podcasts have asked me, you know, you know, you talk about love a lot. Have you met anyone? I said, I'm so glad you asked me that. Yes, I have. She's intelligent, she's articulate, um, she's a knockout, a real catch, a real find. She loves to cook, she's athletic, she loves to garden. And her name is Rhonda Farrow. Start there. Start there, our listeners, our viewers, start with you. You know, I'm not saying I'm not open to love, however, it's gonna be a different version this time, and I will assume into my life someone who loves themselves. That's it, and I'll leave them alone to love themselves, and they'll leave me alone to love myself, and then we'll come together and fall again in love with ourselves and each other. That's what that's how it happens, that's what the alchemist says, okay. I I I want to there's a tool because not only am I asked, what is an alchemist? Who are you? I'm asked, how you talk about living an empowered lifestyle. What is that? How do I do that? I said, Well, I'm an alchemist. I have a formula for you. Here's a formula gratitude plus forgiveness equals living an empowered life, living the life you desire, perhaps the life you dream about. Let's go back to the formula here. Okay, gratitude. We we're all into that. I write it every morning and every evening, from the smallest to the largest things. You could say it, but okay, gratitude, everybody can go along with that. Sometimes not that easy to look in the mirror and say, okay, what do I like about myself? What am I grateful for? What in the what lately has have I said to myself and has someone said to me regarding how grateful I am, regarding how grateful they are for me to be in their life? So gratitude's okay. Now we get to the sticky bun here: forgiveness. Oh boy, forgiveness has got a real bad rap. Have you ever heard someone say I would never forgive them for what they did to me? I said, Well, you must if you want to live an empowered life, if you want to, that's your choice. What do you mean? I said, Let me give you a I'll go into my toolbox and I'll ask an audience or a client or a group that I'm teaching, get out a piece of paper. That can be daunting for some people, and there's you're gonna have two pieces of paper when you're done. The first piece is write a letter to yourself and forgive yourself, because again, that's where it begins.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, but it was so-and-so's. Well, I said we're gonna get to them in a minute, however, write a letter to yourself. I'll use myself as a and exit as an example, if I may, for our viewers and our listeners. Dear Rhonda, I've been meaning to write to you for some time. First of all, how are you? Okay, there's the aha breath. Rhonda, you know when you went to prison, when you never did your due diligence and you you were so stupid you got left holding the bag. Do you uh when uh you got breast cancer? When you got breast cancer, Rhonda. Rhonda, when you had multiple divorces or failed relationships, I know you did not mean to hurt me. I'm writing to myself. No, you did not mean to hurt me. And I forgive you. That's it. Do what you want to do with the letter. Rip it up, put it down the garbage disposal, flush it down the toilet, burn it, do whatever you want. Let it go into the wind, rip it up, though. And that's that. Now you have forgiven yourself. It's done and over with. Next, letter number two. This causes massive shifting in seats, although no one has ever walked out of a room, but they have cut me off on the zoom and say, get the letter. Here's the letter. I want you to write to someone who has harmed you, who has hurt you. I want you to forgive them.
unknown:Can't do it.
SPEAKER_02:Well, wait a minute, you don't have to mail the letter. I really okay. A sigh comes over me. Let's write a letter. Dear person who has hurt me. Remember when you betrayed me, you cheated on me, you caused my financial collapse, you disrespected me. See, you've come it's all right, it's good. I know you did not mean to hurt me, and I forgive you. Boom. See, forgiveness need not have a bad rap because what people assume is that if you forgive them, you're letting them off the hook. Non-forgiveness is like ingesting poison and expecting the other person to die. It's just not gonna happen, okay? It's not gonna happen. So this is non-forgiveness is the emotional, it's the cognitive link to either to ill-being, to dis-ease. I guarantee you forgive yourself and you forgive someone else with this method, this these practical tips. I don't want it on your phone or on your computer. Get a letter out and write in your handwriting. Okay, you will feel so much lighter. Yeah, that's the paving. That's the pain. Why would you foster for non-forgiveness? Why would you ingest poison? Do you want to be physically ill, mentally ill? Because that's what it causes. Resentment, disappointment. I'm no stranger or immune to any of that.
SPEAKER_01:That's powerful. That's really powerful. Thank you for sharing that exercise. You're welcome. And it's it's hard, it is, but I love the simplicity of just writing a letter and not mailing it and not, I mean, we hear a lot. Well, I'm sorry, I hear a lot. Maybe, maybe this is resonating profoundly with others because they haven't heard this before, but I've definitely heard a lot about the power of forgiveness and and the importance of it. And I think kind of like you're saying earlier, of yeah, I like myself. I I appreciate myself, and but I'm not sure that I really knew it. I think this also ties into the forgiveness thing. We hear, we hear about the importance of forgiveness, but are we actually practicing it and to practice it with that person? You know, maybe we forgive certain people, but we haven't forgave that one person. And to do this exercise, to practice this exercise and to walk through it, that's gonna be really powerful for for someone listening. So thank you for that. I appreciate you. Thank you. I want to um, I I know that we're almost out of time. And the last thing that I had written on our notes from our original call was that you are into numerology, that you know about numerology. So I'm wondering if we can close with that. But before we close, obviously I would like people to hear, of course, everything's written in the description, but hear where they can continue to learn from you and soak in your wisdom. I know you have a program coming up in January, so you can definitely share that here and just know that everything is linked in the description below for uh as well.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Um what was the question? Where can people where can people say all right? Okay, I guess that is important. The easiest question. The easiest one. Um first of all, I welcome comments, questions, whether it's this broadcast or of me in general, write to me directly. My email is rhonda r-h-o-n-d-a at helpme rhondanow.com. Rhonda at helpmerondanow.com. And I welcome your insights, your questions, and your comments. Um, you will see all my social media links. I post, I do reels, I you know, lots of information going back and forth. My website is helpmerondanow.com. And yes, I do have uh the next cohort of my group coaching course um is uh coming up the 12th of January. Um, I don't do I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I believe in every day is a new beginning. Um we don't set resolutions and we don't talk about things for that we want for 12 months. We do it in bite-sized pieces, 12 weeks. So the link will be in the description. Go there, peruse that. If you'd like to register, get in. I usually only take 15. Uh, if I get more, then I will start another one at the same time. But you will see the link in the description box. And um, again, there's a place to reach me if you have any questions about that. I deal with it directly with whoever's asking questions. And before we get to the numerology, because it's absolutely one of my favorite things, um, I would like to uh leave our viewers and listeners with a couple things. May I?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely, please.
SPEAKER_02:First of all, we've talked about a lot here. Whatever it is you're going through, understand that you are not alone. Reach out. Whether it's to me, whether it's to someone else, a confidant, a practitioner, reach out. You are not alone. The choice is yours, but you are not alone. And whatever you're going through, and whatever tunnel you happen to be traveling through on this journey, we've all been graciously placed on together. Understand that that light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. That light is the light, the guidance, the way, the truth to be the best version of yourself if you choose to be. And finally, my invitation to everyone, whether I'm uh hosting or guesting, is to treat life as if it were ice cream and enjoy it before it melts.
SPEAKER_01:That's probably the best analogy. I might have to steal that from you, Rhonda.
SPEAKER_02:Please, yes, please come on to it from me.
SPEAKER_01:I will quote you though. I won't steal it.
SPEAKER_02:Please, I now feel like I'm definitely a member of your tribe. Yes, you are independent. Yes, you may uh take whatever you'd like.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. Oh my gosh, beautiful lessons. Thank you so much for coming on. Let's take a couple minutes for numerology. This is something that, you know, I have like a life cycles book. I've been interested in numerology, but haven't ever really dove straight into it. And what I kind of want to talk about, not necessarily, I mean, not necessarily the history and all of that, but I know that you said this year is a nine year. So if we can just chat a little bit about what that means, are we going into a nine year in 2026 or this like the next year? This is the nine years. Okay, and then we're going into a one year.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, we are.
SPEAKER_01:All right. So let's, yeah, whatever you feel like sharing. I just feel like for some reason we have to talk about this. So there's something, something that you have to share.
SPEAKER_02:My biggest takeaway and my biggest message for those listening and viewing nine years. Nine is endings, so that new beginnings. Okay, we have less than 60 days left in 2025. It's still time, okay. My suggestion and invitation is that to release whatever is not serving you. I'm not saying to go get a divorce or anything like that, but start with yourself. Do you have some habits, the mindset, things that are not healthy for you? It's different for everyone. Okay. Begin to release those. Set an intention to release it. When you release it, also accompanying it with what you want to receive. Releasing, we must get off our proverbial plate what is not serving us. It's like going to a buffet, okay. No stranger to buffets. I grew up on these in New England. Okay, so you load your plate with all the stuff that's not that healthy. Okay, so how can you fit the healthy stuff? I'm a sushi gal, I'm a raw clams, oysters, things like that. And what's gonna happen is before you get back to the table, you got no room, and you got this balancing act of stuff that's really not gonna serve you. It's different for everyone. I'm not looking down at anyone that doesn't eat raw clams, okay? Not at all. People are probably looking down at me saying she's nuts. And but my that you get my point, remove that which is not serving you. It may be a little tough. Yeah, start. I removed the news in the newspaper a long time ago. Okay, I hey, I love people, but I'm a very private person. Yeah, some people see me on camera, they wouldn't guess that in a million years. I'm a very private person, and you see by the words I speak, speak things that are facilitative of healthy changes for myself. If you've heard them all here, or some of them anyway, a lot of them, and for others, so remove from your plate. And I have this rule, some people think it's silly. Okay, New Year's Eve. Yep, I'll have a couple glasses of champagne, but I'm not taking into 2026 what I don't want to put into 2026. If I'm still doing things that I want to get rid of, at least make an intention to get rid of them, they're coming with me into 2026. Again, I use myself as an example. I never ask of an audience or clients or groups, never give them a suggestion that I would not use for myself. Yeah, so that's my take on 2025, moving into number one new beginnings. Your take? Talk to us about that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. Well, I totally agree with you with the New Year's thing. I'm not a big uh traditional set all the intentions and bite off more than you can chew, but I do I tie in a lot of like astrology too, and I always think of Scorpio is is really the um astrological sign that I think of because Scorpio really represents that death and rebirth cycle, and thinking of it as that death and rebirth, which is really actually a lot of what we think of kind of in that new year energy is what am I? Well, that's the invitation, right? Because we don't always think of it this way, but what am I letting go of? What am I ready to let go of? And I love your analogy of the buffet. It's that analogy that if we're holding something in our hands and we're gripping it so tight in our fist and we're asking, I want this new thing, I want this new thing. Well, you don't have the capacity, you don't have the free hand to accept that new thing. So what am I ready to let go of to then open my hand, open my palm to receive whatever I'm calling in? And it is that death cycle can be painful, it can be this release, it can also be very cathartic and it can be very um profound, honestly, to release these things to then, and I love what you said. I don't I don't keep what I don't want to carry into 2026. So this is a really poignant time to have this this podcast episode, actually. I'm really appreciating this. Um that we that our higher selves guided us to record at this time, and that's a really beautiful invitation for the next 60-ish days, sick mine and 60 days. What am I wanting to, what am I not wanting to carry into 2026? And that goes back to something that you said. What do don't you want? What don't I want to carry into 2026? And what do I need to let go of? And maybe that's maybe that's just where we leave it, right? Yeah. Like maybe we don't know exactly what we want to carry in, or maybe we don't know how or when we're gonna carry this new thing in. But what do I want to let go of? What don't I want to carry into this new year and and this new season, this one year? And that feels a little bit bigger than a traditional new year, is we're us moving from that nine year to the one year and and the new beginnings. It's yeah, it's it'll be it'll be interesting. It'll be an interesting year, but that definitely resonates a lot with me. This nine year has been a lot of letting go and shedding and releasing, and some of that was kicking and screaming and not very gracefully.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I'm excited for the one year, I'll tell you that much.
SPEAKER_00:Me too.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, thank you so much. I I could talk to you forever. I really appreciate your wisdom. You remind me a little bit of Louise Hay, and I feel like you speak like her. I'm sure that yeah. The I have all her minutes you were talking. I'm like, she she is exactly like Louise Hay. So thank you so much for this beautiful energy that you bring to the world. Thank you for your light that you shine, and thank you for guidance and inspiration that you brought me and my community, and anyone listening today.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. My pleasure. Thank you.