Journey to Well

Building A Wealthy Life Through Somatic Wisdom, Communication, And Aligned Strategy | Kristi Chaves

• Hannah • Season 2 • Episode 33

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If you’ve ever felt “too aware” to take action, this conversation is your reset. We sit down with business coach Kristi Chaves to unpack how somatic awareness, emotional capacity & clean communication can transform both your bottom line and your daily life. Instead of chasing confidence, we explore how to feel fear, sadness, anger, and happiness in the body, let the energy move, and then make decisions from presence rather than from patterns.

Kristi's story begins at home with two entrepreneurial parents and a mother who pioneered leadership embodiment long before somatics was mainstream. That early immersion shaped her approach to coaching: honor your truth, speak it so others can hear it, and build a business that fits your real life. We dig into why scripts alone won’t fix sales, how tone and timing carry more weight than clever lines, and why digestible authenticity beats raw authenticity when relationships and results matter. The through-line is practical: when you stop looping in mental stories and attend to sensation, the next step becomes obvious.

We also examine happiness without the “I’ll be happy when” trap. By accepting reality—especially during loss—and letting go of brittle expectations, you create space for gratitude and steady action. Presence becomes a competitive advantage: you move despite fear, stay with a strategy long enough to see it work, and communicate in ways that build trust. 

If you’re ready to build a wealthy life on your terms—grounded in somatic wisdom, honest communication, and aligned strategy—this is your sign to begin. Listen, try the shake, and tell us what sensation is loud in your body today. If the episode resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find these tools.

Connect with Kristi on IG @KristiChaves

Let's connect on social media! You can find me @ _journeytowell
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be well, my friend
xx Hannah

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to the podcast Journey to Well. My name is Hannah. I am your host today, and I'm so excited to talk to Christy today, who's also a business coach. We have a lot in common, which actually we have a lot in common of our backgrounds, not only where we've arrived at in the work that we do today. And when I talked to you, Christy, I don't know, like a couple months ago now. It was just really, really fun and refreshing to hear your story because it's like I'm hearing my story through a different lens. So I can't wait for you to share. Um, I'm really excited to talk all things somatic. I know that you also do breath work as well, uh, and learn more about your business and building our versions of a wealthy life. So we have so many good things to talk about. But before we even dive into all the juiciness, I would love for you to introduce yourself. Who is Christy? What hats would you like to share with us? And then we will get into your story.

SPEAKER_01:

Amazing. I know. I'm so excited. It was such a joy getting on the phone, being like, I'm not alone in my background for the first time ever. Um it's so different. I'm Christy, and I'm, yeah, I'm so happy to be here. I've been a coach now for over 11 years, which is wild. I started when I was 21 and I started as a transformational, you know, mindset leadership coach, working with all different people in how to really step into who you are, what you want to do in the world, how to do it authentically. And it has led me down the most beautiful journey of becoming a business coach and taking that same authenticity, truth, desire, and really bringing it to business and really stepping into let's make money doing what you love and let's build a life that you look back on and go, wow, 10 out of 10, I'm living, doing it, breathing, everything that I possibly want. And it is the greatest joy to be able to help women to really be able to build their businesses rooted in real business strategy, but really doing it their way for their life. And I had a lot of life circumstances that really pivoted a lot of how I built my business. And I can truly say it's the best job, the best life to be existing in. And it's an honor to be able to help so many women to do the same.

SPEAKER_00:

I say that all the time, especially with my breathwork clients. I always say it's just such an honor. I don't have any other languaging. It's just such an honor to be able to witness people on their journey and provide them with a little bit of tools or a little bit of space to really bloom into their authentic life. Um, and you also are human design educated. That's that's how that wanted to come out. That was weird. You also know about human design. So you're on a 4-6 manifestor, am I correct? Okay, good. So we'll talk a little bit about human design in the conversation as well. Um, but I would really love to dive into your background because starting as a coach at 21, like, what the heck? You're so young. How do you know anything to coach? So, and I know your background plays a big role in that. So, why don't we start there?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so I grew up in a household, so both my parents were coaches, both my parents were entrepreneurs. My mom has a leadership embodiment and movement business for over 50 years. So think night, she started 1970, back in the day. Uh, yoga was not even a thing back then. So she was really a pioneer in the somatics world. And my I was going to embodied leadership workshops and movement workshops and meditation workshops when I was 13 years old. And my oldest brother actually took an interest in her work, and she goes, This is amazing. I should have my kids. Well, I'm the youngest, so I got the most amount of it when I was a kid. And I honestly like it was at first I hated it going to it, right? I'm a teenager going to talking to like 40 old men on how to be connected to yourself and your truth. And, you know, I was so uncomfortable. I would just cry all the time. But it wasn't even just the workshops, it was really just infused in how my family did everything. Everything was through the lens of connection, authenticity, truth, emotional regulation, and really how to continue to evolve into the person that you are and be able to navigate your human experience, which most people don't learn until they have challenges. And it was actually when I was in college and one of my mom's students looked at how I was living my life. I was managing a few different jobs, putting myself through college, you know, getting 4.0 in college, and just more than that, I was a person. I was not that lost college student. I knew who I was. Like I met my husband when I was 22 because I was like, I want a husband. Like I just like I knew what I wanted, who I was, all of it. And that's when it really struck her. And she said, Oh my gosh, can you teach my son what you've done for yourself? You know, he's not confident, he's not feeling connected. And I was literally mentored by my mom directly for seven years, still to this day, we talk every day, um, about how, you know, with coaching and how to be able to guide people and how to be able, and I've done a lot of different training since and certifications as well, but it really is like when you're infused in a world of connection and knowing how to process, be with presence, and know what you actually want, know how to communicate effectively, how to navigate in the world, it's it's just life-changing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it is, it is. And and I have a lot of similarities of, you know, my mom is a nutrition major and then a counseling master's or master's degree in counseling, and and uh yoga teacher Reiki certified massage. There, I don't think she ever finished massage school, but she's been massaging us since we were kids. She's a lifelong meditator, she was meditating. I was meditating when I was like in elementary school, yeah. And it really was similar when I went to college. I think it's because that's when you are on your own, yeah, which is going to be a similar story to everyone. Once we go out on our own, then we really kind of learn what we're made of and how we can navigate the world. And then we really get to ask ourselves how do I want to show up versus what I've been taught or the tools that I've been given, no matter if you feel like they were valuable tools or not. Um, there's definitely value in all that we've learned in our childhood because it shows us how we want to show up or how we don't want to show up and hold space for other people and walk through the world. But in my case, and and similar to yours, it was really when I went to college and I realized, oh my gosh, I have all of these tools that I didn't recognize other people didn't have. And that's really the foundation of my business is feeling this um necessity to share this this um opportunity to share all that I've grew up learning, where it's yeah, it's not something that I had to learn in my adulthood. I when you were talking, I don't know why this came to mind, but I had a partner that that would tell me, like, Hannah, I don't want you to he was he was uh well actually I don't want to give full details, but he would he would say, Hannah, I don't want you to like therapise me when we're like having a conversation, like a disagreement. I don't want you to act like my therapist. And that was one of those other light bulb moments, and I'm like, this is how I've been modeled. I've been modeled healthy communication, I've been modeled to not be reactive and to be responsive. And it was just really funny because that's what we go to therapy to learn, and that's what we really learn on our life journey. But this is just how I don't know how to re like react and not respond. So all of these interesting kind of connections in life, and I love that you are able to have your mom to lean on, and and that you had all of that experience when you were so young. Um, I'm curious how you feel that plays into your life and your business today, where it's again, you and I already talked about that, but it's very different, very different from how a lot of people's story tends to go. So, how has that journey been for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you know, I think it's interesting because a lot of how I got even into business coaching is I was in a, I was different in different masterminds. I was in a mastermind, and a lot of my peers, like still to this day, are in my programs because so many of them said, How are you growing your business? How are you doing this? And it's honestly taken me years to actually realize I'm like, oh, I'm just I'm just doing this. I'm just, I understand. And granted, I do really understand. I was raised by two entrepreneurs. My dad also had a whole business in itself. So I know what it's like to innovate, be creative, and understand business strategy, leads, sales, convergence. Like there's just business you need to understand. But honestly, I think a big part of it is I can really hold for my emotional capacity, and I could move with a lot of fear, and I could move with a lot of the unknown. And I think it's one of the biggest things that stops people in business is this, and it's interesting because I work with a lot of coaches also, and they know all the tools under the sun for nervous system regulation and their fears, but in some ways, it also some ways gets in their way even more sometimes because you're like, oh, I'm having this block. It's like, no, you guys, you just gotta do the thing, guys. Like you just gotta do the do and your nervous system. So in business, I think there's a few things. I think one is just my ability to move and be with my capacity emotionally and not avoid emotions, but not indulge in my emotional experience. I think the other thing in my in embodied leadership, you know, I learned so much. Like it wasn't just embodied leadership workshops. I I mean, I'm talking, you can put probably 20 to 30 hours a month from college all the way up until honestly. Now I still do a lot of my mom's work and it's all on communication. It's all on getting feedback about your tone, your timing, the how it's being impacted. Is it coming from your truth? Is it coming from reactivity? And these are things I think we don't know what we don't know. We don't know what we're how our communication, and that is directly correlated to how I teach sales, to how I do sales, to how I run my business. Like I now can read someone really well, and it's not because I have a script that I read people, it's like I understand how to read people, I know how to sell effectively, I understand sales psychology, but I know how to communicate really effectively. And I think the lens of what I grew up in has really just allowed me to make decisions in my business, to move through my business, and also to bring a real sense of truth and authenticity to the heart of what I do. And on top of that, it's really about, you know, really being able to communicate effectively from there and be who we are and build what we want.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah, I've heard you say a few times the word, like the phrase being able to communicate effectively. What actually let's just start with what does that mean to you? What like if you were to define that, what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think it matters in the context, I will say firstly, but I think uh communicating effectively is about being connected to your truth, to what's true for you. And how do you say it in a way, whether it's in business, in sales, with a client, with a friend, how do you say it in a way that lands for the other person? That it's your truth, but it's also landing and digestible for another person. Because I think in the vein of authenticity, people, this movement of authenticity, it's like, let me be authentic. And it's like, yeah, but can you be authentic and have a relationship and run a business and move forward on your health goals and your desires? That is that's that's the sweet spot. And I think communication is that bridge.

SPEAKER_00:

There's a lot of almost balance that I'm kind of picking up in your story and the way that you approach your business. And and one of the things that you touched on that was actually going to be one of my questions, was uh moving in spite of fear, moving forward in spite of fear or or physically moving in spite of fear, because you're right. I think a lot of people in my audience, a lot of people listening, were either unaware and we're learning to get more aware, which is beautiful and important. And then we also have that other kind of pod of my friend, my friend and I sometimes will joke and we're like, I think that we're just too aware. Like we know too much that then it's it's holding us back, or you know, we're holding ourselves back, or whatever. Um, and we joke, and there's also truth to that, of course. But what I'm getting at is that is we have that knowledge of, oh yeah, like you use the example, oh yeah, I have a block, or or yeah, just like emotionally not there right now, or whatever, and and finding that balance, which I think really comes with radical honesty with ourselves, um, but finding that balance between when do I move, when do I move through this, or is this a fear, or is it something else? And how do we go about that's really like that inner conversation in our brain? How do we go about deciphering what the next step is, or or really, I mean, eventually we're gonna figure out the next step, but how do we go about deciphering what's really that root cause?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think that it's you know, I think it's such a balance to to like discover what is the root, but you know, one of the basic ways that I learned about, you know, I I'm trained in a lot of trauma-informed coaching, so I know all about, you know, like our inner wounds and where is it coming from and that moment and what shaped us. And I do think that that is a beautiful method, and I also think there's something even simpler, and I really think it's at the end of the day you are having one of four emotions in simplicity, right? Fear, sadness, anger, or happiness. Every every emotion, if you watch, if you look at an emotion wheel, by the way, it all comes down to simple emotions. And I think sometimes in the in, and this is my bias, I own my bias, it is definitely biased, is I think sometimes all of these new ways of how we can work with ourselves are just more mental loops to then go through instead of like, okay, I'm having an emotion, I'm feeling something, go feel it, go be with it. If you're scared, go be with the fear. When you sit in the fear, you probably, if there's something below it, it will emerge, right? You don't you don't necessarily have to go digging. Like, if you actually learn how to be with the feeling, the truth of what that feeling wants to reveal to you will emerge. And so the way that I like to think of, you know, and this is actually so fun for me to describe it. I don't think I've ever described it this simply. Um, the way I describe it, and this is how I literally run my life and run my business. I'm like, what am I feeling that I don't want to be with because it's uncomfortable? And then I close my eyes and I feel in my body somatically, where am I feeling it? I breathe into it and I just sit in it. And every time I do something else, like a thought, a truth, a knowing, a deeper feeling. Like I was laying in bed even last night, and I was like, oh my God. And it like just came through, but it's just from sitting in the simplicity of the emotion, of the sensation that lives in our body, and when we can go meet it, it doesn't control us.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that. I always say we spend a lot of time running away from or avoiding the feeling, and we spend so much, it's not just time, it's so much energy, and that gets exhausting after a while. And oftentimes we get to that point of full exhaustion, and then we allow ourselves to feel that feeling, or it's not even really we allow it, it just happens because we don't have any fight left in us, and then we come out on the other side and we're like, oh, that was at least me, I won't say we, me. I'm like, oh, that was way easier than running away and fighting it. My question though, and this is this is more personal, but I'm I'm sure that people can relate. Um my question is I am very much I'm a I'm a one-three in human design, and I that one line is like the researcher, and I'm always like, but I need the steps and I need to know exactly how to do this. What does feeling the emotion look like for you? How do we do that? Like, what does that actually entail?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so this is where I think having somatic awareness is really helpful. So I always say that there's feeling and then there's a sensation below the feeling, and so if we think of it, so let I'll boil it back. So every thought is sourced from typically a feeling, and then that's typically sourced from a sensation that's stored in our body that we're feeling, right? Anxiety is really just a feeling in my in my in my definition. It's a feeling to be felt, right? Like when I feel anxiety, that flutter, that feeling, I'm just like, cool, it's sensation. And if I don't deem it as like, oh, it's anxiety, it's bad, it's like of course you're scared. You should be scared, Christy. You're doing something new that you don't know how to do, you know. So the way I think of it is that within a feeling, there's a sensation that lives below that feeling. And so when I ask myself, okay, what am I afraid will happen if X, or what is it, you know, that's a great question in life of like, okay, I want to do this and it's not and I'm not doing it. What am I afraid is gonna happen? I I personally think so many emotions boil down to fear. Um, I think it's like such a source of so many thoughts and feelings. And so then what I really do to feel the feeling is notice sensationally, like weird, sensationally, like tingling, feeling of like that flitter or that feeling of like, oh my God, I just feel heaviness in my body. And you do have to build sensational awareness, which is what like meditating and somatic work guides you to do. And then you have the ability to go, where am I feeling that in my body? And then really, like literally just put your attention on just breathing into that emotion. And then what it's doing for that feeling is it's actually creating space because essentially what it needs is that nothing is wrong with the feeling. We're not trying to get away from it, we're not trying to move through the feeling. We are just learning how to be with whatever sensation we're feeling, and that's what builds emotional capacity to not react to our feelings, and then we don't create a reactive life in decisions and actions or inaction.

SPEAKER_00:

I really like your the four emotions of fear, sadness. What was the third one? Anger and happiness, anger and happiness. That's that's really cool because I I know that I can get stuck in the like defining the emotion that is coming up. And when you boil it down to those four, and it's like, okay, which which one would it fit into roughly? It doesn't really matter. And then where am I feeling the sensation and really just allowing that sensation to be felt? I always give the example because I agree with you, I think a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of feelings that we have and lack of lack of decision or or making rash decisions or quick decisions are rooted in fear. And so I always give the um the analogy of like you're sitting in a dark room and you hear a noise and you're really afraid of that noise, and then your mind comes in and it starts making all of these stories of it's this huge like alien, or it's someone breaking in, or it's my water pipe is bursting, whatever it is. And then you flip on the light and you notice that it's just like a little mouse crawling around, or whatever that noise, or it was just like a crack from the house because the house is settling. And when you turn on the light, that's really what we're doing when we're sitting with our emotions and being in that sensation. And I think also I love that you're making it so simplistic because, in actuality, for me, this does take mindful practice, and I still catch myself getting lost in lost in it and running away from it because I think, and I would love to know your opinion on this, but my hypothesis is because we just are wired to avoid discomfort. Like, why is it that we continue to run away when because again, you said like a lot of these coaches, right? We have these tools, we know what to do, but for whatever reason, we don't like so yes, what is that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, I think that we're you know, your nervous system is wired for the known. So if you are we do what's familiar, right, for ourselves. And I think a lot of us, you know, we don't live in dislike most we've had uncomfortable, most of us have had really uncomfortable moments in our life and situations and all of it, but to actually sit in like feel discomfort and have discomfort are two different things in my world, right? So to feel discomfort and to feel what you're actually uncomfortable about, then the discomfort no longer controls you. And it's one thing to be like, I'm uncomfortable with this situation or my business or my life or whatever it is, and I want to get away from it and see what it does is when you can. I think that it's yeah, we're wired. Like I see it in having a daughter, like she's wired for comfort, for safety, for you know, every time she doesn't get what she wants, when she wants it, she cries or she's makes a noise and makes it known to me that she wants me to. And then I have the choice as a parent. Okay, when do I tend to that? And when do I say, hey, you know, like I'm not gonna tend to that, and like I'm assessing that you're okay in this moment and I'm here with you, you know, like I'm not uh leaving you, I'm here with you, but I'm not necessarily gonna give you what you want because you're just crying and you want it, right? And I think in some ways that's the same with ourselves, right? Like, oh, I'm uncomfortable. Okay, let me do give you what you need that you're uncomfortable so you don't have to feel the discomfort. And I think a lot of this honestly came from because it was how my parents parented us. Like they very much were so big about be like us being empowered humans, and part of being empowered is learning how to be with your own discomfort. About, you know, I think one of the hardest things in life and business is like, I don't have what I want, and trying to rationalize that instead of like I'm uncomfortable. And what if you just sat in the discomfort that will you don't need motivation, you don't need all these steps. Like, if you actually sit in the discomfort of what you don't have in your life, you will probably decide to do something differently if you actually feel it, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Um so I like that, I like that a lot, and and I think the other thing that you were kind of getting at, and and this is really what I was when I was saying where I get stuck is I find that I get stuck in I don't know how to help myself, like I don't know, and I think like ultimately when we're having this conversation, now I'm making the point of I think that I'm overcomplicating it and I'm probably just running away. But I found I uh I was talking to my mom last week and and I was just like so stuck in it, and I couldn't pull myself out, and of course then the mind comes in and like the ego probably is coming in of like, why can't you just help yourself and like fix yourself or whatever? And then there's all that like shame and guilt and judgment, but again, so blessed that I I went to my mom and she's like, You just look like you need to cry. And as soon as she said that, I just start bawling. Like, I do need a cry. Um, and we were reflecting later, and I was saying that I don't feel sometimes I feel like I don't cry very often or or deeply. Uh I don't like and and cry, I mean have a release. So maybe you have like a release of anger, maybe you have a release of sadness or or of grief or whatever it is. Um, I don't do that as well by myself, but when I'm with her, it's a safety thing. It's you know, we were kind of decided, we were kind of exploring like why it happens so much with her. Um but what you were kind of touching on is like with your daughter, like holding that space and allowing that. And I and I would love for you to touch on that aspect of the importance or even maybe the benefit of having someone else and how that has been in your personal journey. Because obviously, as coaches, we're gonna say you need someone else. But I want I would curious about in your personal journey how that has been for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I will say, like, I've gone coaching since I was 13 years old. Yeah. So I am who I am because I've had support. And I do also like for me, also I've had like personal coaching. I also have business coaching, being in business because I think getting business strategic help is really important. Um, and if you have someone like for me, I love I get to be both for clients. Like I can, I have the background that I have and the business, and that's like what makes what I do unique. But I'm always like, I wish I had a me for me, but it's okay. Yeah. We we hire other people for different parts that they got and we get it. But um, yeah, I mean, I think that you have like there's something about having someone outside of you who can be an observer to your experience, who can create safety for you and who can help guide you back to yourself so that you aren't looping. And like I will say, one of my personal favorite things, even in business, this comes up, and even I talk to my business coach about it all the time. I'm like, I know I'm in it, I know, I know I'm not seeing reality for what it is because I can feel the energetic difference of like, I'm buzzing, not in the way that I that's like the buzz you want. So um, and it's like, I know I'm in it, and like tell me what I'm doing, what I'm missing right now to miss seeing reality. And like, I think just there's so many different ways to get support. There's someone who's gonna be like, hey, you're in it. This is what you're doing that's getting you in it. There's someone who's gonna hold space for you to process through all the things that you're going through, you know, and to feel and to release. But I think having a space is essential. Like, I think you we run our life in our own programming. And I, there's no way my life with what I have and with what I've created would be where it is without having consistent, consistent support outside of me. And I don't mean it from like, I can't hold myself, I can very much hold myself, but why suffer in anything longer than five minutes when I can have someone who can help me, you know, come back to what reality is? Because at the end of the day, I think, you know, that's everything is when you can live in presence and reality, we don't loop so much, we don't get pulled into these patterns so much. And it's just we're so patterned to live in pattern versus in presence.

SPEAKER_00:

Ooh, say that again.

SPEAKER_01:

We are so patterned to live in patterned versus presence. And there really is no, you know, I'll I'll share this story because I think it'd be probably helpful for your listeners. So my dad passed away two years ago, and it was really unexpected. It was out of the blue, just got literally a text message that he got a heart attack. And there was no signs, no anything. And my family is really, really, really close. And I will tell you this. I was driving up an hour later to my parents' house, you know, after getting the news with my brother in the car, we were just silent, obviously, because it was just like not even sure how to process like the news and what happened. And I remember hearing this thought that said, you can fight this or you can be present to reality. You can fight this and it's it's gonna hurt. You can say it's not fair, it shouldn't happen. Why did this happen? This was not what we planned for, like all the reasons, or you can just accept that this is reality, and how do you get to be with the reality that is now? And I will never forget that moment because I was on the freeway and I was just like, okay, like let go and accept. And sure, I've had moments where I fight it and then I come back to presence, but really living in presence, like there's so much peace available in presence, even in a moment of like, I'm that's just like in disbelief that this is happening in my life, and it's like fighting it is like it shouldn't happen. Why did it happen? Needing reasonings instead of like, he is not here, and now you just get to be with this new reality that he's not physically here, and you get to learn to live with that and how to move with that and how to be with that. And I just think that as more people can learn how to be present to what is a lot of the other looping and different things, like so much inner suffering goes away when we can be present.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow, thank you for sharing that. I've I've definitely found in difficult situations as I move through this life journey that when I have those moments of presence, I will name it since that's the wording that we're using, and allowing myself like to feel the grief or to feel the fear, or you know, like one of my best friends moved away. Uh she's a traveling nurse ultimately. She does vascular ultrasounds, but like a traveling nurse. So she moved to Colorado and I was like driving after saying goodbye, driving home, and just like crying because she's just one of my best friends, and and I had had her in my life, like physical proximity for for a while. And uh, and I remember just feeling like wow, how beautiful is it to have somebody that I love so much that it's kind of I was really into Winnie the Pooh when I was a kid, and actually like then re-fell in love with him because there's so many adult concepts in Winnie the Pooh, it's it's all adult concepts to be honest. Um, but there's one quote like how how lovely or how wonderful is it to have someone that's saying goodbye is so hard to, and like how beautiful is it to be experiencing this life and to be able to experience all the complexity of life, and and I think that's not always the easiest perspective to have, and I can't imagine having those thoughts when I just find out that my father passed and unexpectedly, but to be able to really feel that feel that just feel all of it, just to be able to feel that there's almost this like I don't know, for me, it's like just this beautiful awareness of like how what a gift it is to feel this pain, what a gift it is to feel this grief or this sadness or this anger or this fear, because it's really what life is all about. I think we spend so much time searching for that fourth category, right? Of happiness. Like, how do I how do I find that happiness again? And again, how do I find that happiness again? I guess that's that I would love to hear your thoughts on that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of it is knowing, and I think what you said is so accurate is when you don't avoid any feeling, you are happy. When you don't avoid, like what doesn't what there's I I personally think that we think that happiness is like something, like you can make yourself happy in any moment, in any given day in my in my world, no matter your circumstances, it can be hard, but you're happy because you're being with what life is presenting you with. You know, and so if you can be, if you don't avoid what you're feeling, naturally on the other side. Like I really believe that feelings move, that you only get stuck in feelings because your mind is triggering more stories about your feelings. But if you actually learn how to sensationally be with feeling and let the like the energy moves once you sit in something, it also eventually moves. And on the other side, typically what you experience is like a relief, a feeling of peace. And it's like, what is happiness? In a lot of ways, I think happiness is just presence, you know? And so when you can be present to what you're experiencing, you can be like I every day wake up and I say to my husband all the time, and you know, when I go to bed, I'm like, life is amazing, like it is just the greatest gift. And it doesn't mean I don't know my moments and fear and doubt and a challenging work situation, like it's life. Like I don't expect life to not have that, you know, like the life is meant to have the full spectrum of unknown and feelings and experiences. And so I think that it's like really learning to be with everything that you are that you can be happy. And then, of course, there's the outer things of like if you want things in your life, like I very much wanted a lot of things that I have right now with my business and my family and all of it, and I went for it and I did it. And so I'm also I it's like I have inner happiness and external happiness. Um, but it's also because of being willing to be with what you don't have and staying the course until you create it and finding that inner happiness and the process of building it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's it's that mirror of I'm sure is that building that inner happiness that then builds the outer happiness. And we often, I think, get it flipped, you know. I'll be happy when I am making this much in my business, I'll be happy when I move, I'll be happy when I find my husband, I'll be happy when I have a family, I'll be happy when I get a promotion. I mean, it's so external, and I love that word that you used of shifting your expectation. And I think that we, I think you said like we expect life to be one way and almost releasing that expectation. And that's such a you can prove that in little things in your life all the time. Like I used to hate my birthday, and I realized that it was I had this expectation that I wanted, I'm a Leo, so yeah, you if you know astrology, you know. Yeah, like I wanted people to like celebrate me all the time, and like I wanted my day to be so special. And I remember, I think this was in high school, maybe college, but I was uh working on my birthday, like on my actual day, and I was like, this is depressing as fuck. Like, what is my life? And I was so upset, and then I was like, wait, what? No, like you had all of these beautiful celebrations, you have so many people that love you. And when ultimately when I let go, I think that was a light bulb moment where I was able to let go of my expectations for my birthday. That now I absolutely I mean I celebrate my birthday all month vlog.

SPEAKER_01:

Also when my husband met me, he was like, I've never met someone who celebrated themselves so much for their birthday. I was like, Well, welcome to the rest of your life with like 10 celebrations.

SPEAKER_00:

I literally tell people when I met my ex, I was like, listen, I celebrate my birthday all month to be aware of this. And then August came and he's like, Wow, you were not kidding. I'm like, nope, I wasn't kidding. Like I love it. But but that is when we're able to like I think that you said this too. When we're able to release the like when we're able to feel the fear or the grief or the sadness, then we are happy. When we're able to release the expectation, it's almost like, oh, okay, well, now you're gonna have the best whatever that you want and the best life. And I love that you have that life perspective of like, my this life is amazing because we can get stuck. I you know, we can really get stuck in the in the stories that we tell ourselves. And and um I've never wanted to be someone that gets stuck in the I'll be happy when fill in the blank.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And it and it really is, it's like making whatever you have in this moment absolutely incredible. And when you hold that perspective and a gift, like whatever you have, it's it's a gift, you know. Like I even look at even losing my dad. I have so much gratitude for that happening. My life is where it is because that was a catalyst for me in a massive way for my business, for becoming a mom, for living where I live. And and I like every day, like like not that I wish it, but it's like thank you for for what it what I did with that. And I think that it's just like it's how you look at everything. Like you can look at the gift of a challenging moment, the gift of what it's ushering you into, the gift of where you're stagnant in that somewhere in your life, and you see it as a gift, it will propel you, right? But if you fight it and go, it shouldn't happen, who said it's like that's that was what I kept coming back to with my dad. I'm like, this thought of like it shouldn't happen, but it's happening. Like, what how is that serving me to go into something shouldn't exist that is existing? That's just wasting my precious time on life fighting with life. So I'm just gonna skip that step and just actually be in gratitude of what I have. And even my I the other day, you know, I had a full work day and I love my business and it's such a passion for mine, plus, it's an amazing business. And I ended my day and I was holding my daughter and I was like, I'm tired. And I was like, I'm so grateful. I'm tired. I'm tired from a day well lived, I'm tired from doing what I love, I'm tired from having all the things that I have that I've always wanted. And it's like it's just how you look at things, and it also really impacts, I think, how we feel about life and our happiness and our enjoyment is like when you just accept and appreciate whatever you have, it will propel you and change that experience in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and it's not always an easy mindset to hold. I think again, going back to my upbringing, I feel so grateful that one of one of the biggest life lessons and gifts that my mom has given is whenever anything happens, she would always ask, What can you learn from it? Like how can you grow from this ultimately? And that's now ingrained in me. But even the habits that I have built through my adult life, it's practice and repetition, and it's it's really mindful effort sometimes, uh a lot of times in the beginning is but seeing like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, right? Of like seeing that is where I want to get, and then bringing it back to okay, I can choose to have this thought. I'm I am choosing my thoughts, and really that's tough. But you know, having someone to hold that mirror for you, there's there's so many loops back to our conversation.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. And that's why like I think having someone around you being like, oh, you are in victimhood to your circumstances right now. You are in, you are feeling this, you don't know what you don't know, you know, and that's why, like personally for me, when I have stagnant points, or even if my business has happens, and I'm a business coach, I coach all my clients and how to grow their business and how to move through these moments too. But there's nothing like someone to be like, just tell me where I'm in the victimhood so that I can get myself out of it because I know I'm in it, but I don't know where I'm in it. Where are you hearing that I'm in that right now? You know, and I love like I'm a very direct style of a coach and person because I'm like, let me just tell you this so we can just actually move from it, you know. And I think that's so helpful, you know, to have that because yeah, you don't you don't know when you're stuck in it. You don't know when you're stuck in the loop cycle, in the thought cycle and not being present. You don't know, you know, and most people wait until they're having anxiety or not sleeping or having a challenging moment, be like, oh my gosh, I might be in it. But as you get more and more aware, it happens in micro moments and having that person outside of you is just everything.

SPEAKER_00:

So it's someone to see that bigger picture. And I say this a lot in my coaching too, and it's not like at your fault, but when we're stuck in it, we don't know what we don't know, and we can't see the big picture oftentimes. And so to have someone be able to hold up that mirror and and zoom out for you and say, I'm very I say that I'm very blunt. I am very blunt, but direct is maybe a nicer way to say it. Yeah, I am very blunt because it when you have somebody that's able to see the big picture and say, hey, I think this is this is like that's where you're stuck or that's where you're in it. Um, then it's like we have that light, that light bulb moment, and you're like, oh yeah, of course. That totally makes sense. Totally. Totally. Yeah. So I have loved, I know that we're on a little bit of a time frame. So um, such a great conversation. I think that we have so much to learn and so many beautiful reminders to learn from you. So, where can people stay connected to you? Where do you hang out the most? Yes. Stay connected.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you can come over to my Instagram and come say hello. I'm in there, and I uh yeah, have the best community over there, and it would be a pleasure. And I'm happy to connect on any of what I shared, and also in regards to building a business and growing a business in a way that feels right for you. Um, it's a joy. It's like the greatest, greatest joy in the world to do this work.

SPEAKER_00:

So is it just Christy Chavez? What's the instruction?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's just at Christy Shaves, and you can just come say hello and we can go from there, and I'll kind of direct you. I'm very big about like I got one spot, just come talk to me there, and I'm always there.

SPEAKER_00:

So I love that I'm oh my gosh, we we have we could talk about so many things, I feel like Christy, but yeah, having the one I'm that way. I'm like, I well, I have my podcast. I guess I have two because we chat on podcasts and on Instagram. Um last question I'm going through. I have options, but I really think I like the first one. Um, I like the last one. What's one practice that helps you come back to yourself when things feel really chaotic or unclear or stuck? What's one practice that you really love that you feel like that brings me back?

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Favorite practice of them all turn on some music and shake your entire body really intensely. Like just shake, just literally, like my favorite thing in the world during my month's, and I still to this day do this all the time and in my movement class, is just shake like literally your hands, your body, your head. You do it for two minutes. I promise you will be in a different state. You will think differently, you will be differently. It's just like shake your body. When I had a really bad actually postpartum um after my birth, I had so much anxiety in my body, and because different things happen in birth. And I went in my backyard and I turned on music and I shook. And it was like so much shaking. Like day I got home, uh shaking, shaking, shaking, shaking, had a three-day old baby, and like every that just helped me with everything.

SPEAKER_00:

That's my mom's latest and greatest. So I love we have that connection. I've been doing it for forever. It's like I'm I'm like the shaken one.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, I'm the shaking person. And you, if you come on my calls, we're gonna talk so deep, some business stuff. We're gonna shake probably first.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. It really will, even how you just worded that, like I had so much anxiety in my body, it it really helps uh address like what is the sensation going on and really releasing that that sensation. And then that also brings some clarity. So uh I absolutely love that tool. And thank you for sharing. What a nice tool to leave on. Absolutely happy to. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It is so beautiful to talk to you, and you have just lovely energy and so much insight. So I really appreciate your wisdom and you taking the time today.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you, Hannah. It was a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.