How to Organize Your ADHD Brain for Business Success: Lessons from Melissa Snow

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Melissa Snow is a Business Relationship Strategist dedicated to empowering women in entrepreneurship. She founded the Powerful Women Rising Community, which provides female business owners with essential support and resources for business growth

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The Powerful Women Rising PODCAST

In this episode, the host converses with Melissa Snow, an ADHD entrepreneur who has transitioned from teaching high school to corporate work, and ultimately to entrepreneurship. Melissa shares her journey of becoming a business owner, starting with an unexpected opportunity in creating medical records summaries for personal injury attorneys, and later evolving into a successful relationship and dating coach. Now, she runs 'Powerful Women Rising,' a platform supporting female entrepreneurs through authentic connections and networking. Diagnosed with ADHD just two years ago, Melissa talks about her experiences, including the common misconception of being 'lazy,' and the importance of working with one's brain rather than against it. She offers practical advice on how she stays organized, manages her business, and the value of having external support. The discussion also delves into the importance of networking in building a business, especially for introverts and those who find it challenging. Listeners are invited to join Melissa's networking events and learn more about organizing an ADHD brain.

00:39 Melissa's Journey to Entrepreneurship

05:10 Discovering ADHD as an Adult

08:51 Living with ADHD: Strategies and Insights

15:58 The Planner Dilemma and Embracing Imperfection

19:35 Creating Structure and Staying Organized

20:41 The Power of Brain Dumping Ideas

21:37 Setting and Achieving Goals with Support

24:00 Embracing Personal Routines and Flexibility

26:35 Transitioning in Business and Learning from Experience

30:12 The Importance of Networking and Buil

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Transcript

0:42

Hey, beautiful people. We are gonna jump pretty quickly into this episode. I just wanted to come on here and. Share with you a little bit about my friend Melissa. She is absolutely incredible. She is a networking queen, and I'm so excited to not only relate to her about A DHD when it comes to entrepreneurship, but talk about some of the things that feel so internal, feel like we can't necessarily talk about them on a regular basis.'cause not everyone's gonna get it, let's go ahead and dive into this episode.

Megs: 1:09

Welcome back to organizing an A DHD Brain. I'm here with my good friend, Melissa Snow. I am so excited to introduce her today. Melissa, tell us a little bit about you.

Melissa: 1:18

Hi. Yes. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be a guest on your podcast. I live in Colorado, lived in Colorado my whole life. I. Started out doing all the things that you were supposed to do. Graduated from high school, went to college, got my degree, took me a little while. I changed my major six times, and finally got my degree in English. I taught high school for about four years and that was enough for me. And then, went into the more corporate side of the world. I was a personal injury paralegal for many years. And then fell into entrepreneurship accidentally. I was doing some, moonlighting on the side for a guy who had a business doing medical records summaries for personal injury attorneys. And so I did some work for him. He decided to shut down his business and he was like, Hey, do you want all my clients? And I was like, sure. And overnight I was an entrepreneur with a full client load making money, and I was like, entrepreneurship is great. Why doesn't everyone do this? This is super fun. so my next business after that, I got my life coaching certification and I was a dating and relationship coach for about six or seven years. had a really successful podcast during that time and I loved that business. I learned a lot about. What it actually takes to be an entrepreneur and sales and marketing and all of the things that we don't really think about when we're like, I'm gonna start a business. We're just like, I just wanna do the thing I wanna do. I don't wanna do all that other stuff. and then about two and a half years ago, I transitioned to my current business, which is called Powerful Women Rising, and is really just about supporting female entrepreneurs in their growth journey. It's really based off of a couple specific things. One is the value of authenticity and showing up as yourself. not trying to fit yourself into a mold or trying to be like what you think you're supposed to be or act how you think you're supposed to act to be a successful entrepreneur or to be taken seriously. and the other tenant of the business is really just about networking and growing your business through creating genuine connections. I have a podcast, another podcast now, and run a community online for female entrepreneurs and it's super fun. when I'm not working, I, like to buy books and sometimes I read them. Usually I don't. but I do really like to buy them. I love cats. I volunteer at a cat rescue here in Colorado Springs. I have several cats of my own, and then any number of fosters at any given time. that's pretty much me.

Megs: 3:49

Oh, I love it so much. Yeah. If you are on my email list and have downloaded my dopamine menu, you know who Theodore is, who is my kitten. You've watched him grow.'cause I include a picture of him every two weeks or so. And Melissa is his surrogate mom from the very beginning.

Melissa: 4:05

Teddy is dopamine.

Megs: 4:07

He's on my menu too. Like a 10 minute activity is to cuddle with him or to play a game with him. And it's really fun'cause like sometimes you genuinely just forget about the things that you can do in life. And so having a menu to go to, to remind you of those things I love your journey. I have to point out a few things. Changing your major six times, totally normal the more I talk to people who are neurodivergent and have a DHD. The more I realized how normal that truly is, and I used to beat myself up thinking that I was so wrong for wanting to do all of these things and not being able to figure it out. And then with the entrepreneurship journey like trying out this and then trying out that and then figuring out what makes total sense.

Melissa: 4:53

Yeah.

Megs: 4:53

you and I first met when I went to your networking group once and then twice because all the women there are so incredible. And then I forget how our friendship truly began, but it was just like, you're cool. And I'm like, yeah, you're cool too. And then here we are. We think each other is cool,

Melissa: 5:11

Yeah.

Megs: 5:11

we hang out. Sometimes I think our first like true hangout was the vision board event.

Melissa: 5:16

Yeah, you came to the networking group and I got secretly obsessed with you, and I kept my obsession to myself for a while. And then, yeah, you invited me to the vision board workshop, and I was like, oh my gosh, she wants me to hang out with her. And so I went and I hung out with you, and then I was even more obsessed.

Megs: 5:36

Which is so funny'cause I do that too. I meet people and I'm like, oh my God, they're amazing. I wanna be their best friend. But when I say I wanna be your best friend, I then have to hide a little bit. that was too strong.

Melissa: 5:47

Making friends as an adult can be very awkward.

Megs: 5:50

Yeah, it certainly is. Okay, Tell us a little bit about your journey, discovering that you had a DHD.

Melissa: 5:56

Yeah, so I actually just got diagnosed, less than two years ago. I've always suspected that I had it. I was an eighties baby and A-D-A-D-H-D wasn't a thing then. And if it was a thing, it was only something for the really naughty boys school, right? Like the little boys who were always getting in trouble and couldn't stay in their chair and just were like completely out of control. that was the kid who had a DHD. It wasn't me. And so as an adult, I really found, especially when I became self-employed full-time and I was working from home, that was when it really started to become more of a significant issue. And I've heard that's actually really common with women to get diagnosed later in life either. When they get out of school or when they start working from home or become self-employed or something like that. Because when you're in the structure of school or you're in the structure of a nine to five job, it's a little bit easier to mask or cope with some of the A DHD symptoms. And I think that was probably true for me. And once I became self-employed, it just became much more obvious. I pursued a diagnosis because I wanted to get medication. And I also just wanted some validation.'cause I remember my parents asking me like, why? Why does it even matter? Like why is it important for you to have this diagnosis? And I feel like after I was diagnosed, and even still, I learn things that. Help. So many things make sense. Like so many things from my past. And I can remember as a child, my room was always a mess, which is hilarious because now I'm like over the top neat, tidy, organized, clean, but my room was always a mess. And I can remember my mom sending me to clean my room and just standing in my room. Crying because I didn't even know where to start. I couldn't even see the floor and. I also remember, I would have these episodes where I would lay in the hallway and I would just flail my arms and legs and I would tell my mom, I'm going crazy. those are the kind of things that I look back on now and I'm like, okay, that all makes a little bit more sense now. Why that was so overwhelming, this task of cleaning my room and why I had these feelings and these sensations and this overwhelm that I couldn't explain. and the biggest thing for me getting diagnosed was the realization that I'm not lazy. I spent my whole life thinking that I was lazy and creating a lot of frustration for my parents, especially because I would like complete assignments and then not turn them in, or I would not complete assignments, or I was just completely uninterested in school. My mom still jokes about how I would get really obsessed with some hobby. I decided I was gonna be a cake decorator. And so one year for Christmas they got me all this cake decorating stuff and she's like, you never decorated another cake for the rest of your life. And that's not entirely true, but it was a while. and so just things like that I was like, okay, I spent my whole life thinking something's wrong with you. Why are you like this? why can't you just do what you're supposed to do? Why can't you do it like your sister does? Why are you so lazy and unmotivated? And when I got the diagnosis and I started to learn more about what a DHD really was, so much of that stuff made a lot more sense, and I was able to have a lot more grace and compassion with myself.

Megs: 9:34

That's really beautiful and thank you for sharing that because so many of us can relate to the being lazy and. Also having a lot of things that we might start and not necessarily finish. I read something the other day that was saying that they were talking to their therapist and their therapist was like, what if you had a hyper fixation or a hobby that you didn't try to also make money off of? What if you just had it as a hobby? And they were like, how dare you?

Melissa: 10:00

Why would I do that?

Megs: 10:01

do you remember what it was like realizing that you were not lazy and what did that transition look like for you? Because I think a lot of people are still grappling with what it truly means to not be lazy, because that's not a thing that describes us, but it is a thing that other people have labeled us with for so long.

Melissa: 10:22

I think part of it was, it was very freeing and empowering and a relief, because I feel like I spent a lot of time and energy trying to make myself be a different way. I tried so hard, I even read a book about how to make yourself a morning person and tried to do all of the things to be a person who got up in the morning and was wide awake and ready to seize the day and got all these things done before eight o'clock, and I just could never make myself be that person. And so that relief of knowing you're really just trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and you can stop. Like you can just try to find a square hole, if that makes sense. And.

Megs: 11:07

Yeah.

Melissa: 11:08

I've just learned to find ways to work with myself rather than against myself. so being really aware, I hear people talk about this a lot in terms of the seasons, like understanding that there are certain seasons where there are very productive and there are other seasons where. It's the time to just go in and reflect and regroup. And I hear women talk about this a lot with their cycle and understanding their cycle. And there's days in your cycle where it's like, those are the days you're gonna get everything done. And then there's days in your cycle where you're not gonna wanna do anything. And I feel like my A DHD kind of goes like that too. and so just being able to give myself that grace of Okay, you're in the period of A DHD where you are not getting a lot of stuff done, and so what is the minimum you can get done today? Like, why don't you pick one thing to get done and then you can go take a nap or something like that, and then. Knowing that there will be other days where it's I don't need a nap. I semi love the hyper fixation days.'cause I just get so much done. But, knowing that then there's gonna be other days or times of the day where I am super focused and I can get a lot done and just letting that be what it is instead of trying to force myself into something else.

Megs: 12:28

I really like that'cause it's interesting that you bring that up.'cause I was just chatting with my digital sidekick this morning and she was going into like hyper focus mode and I saw myself doing it too, and I'm like, don't forget to take care of yourself because that's oftentimes the first thing that we let go when we go into these modes of. Incredible productivity, but it's almost like we have to make up for the time that we were taking a nap or allowing ourselves to rest, when really if we slow down a little bit and we allow ourselves to do things at a normal pace, we still get so much done. But when we take care of ourselves, we get even more done.

Melissa: 13:09

Yeah.

Megs: 13:10

that's the time when we go into those crazy modes of super productivity. That's the first thing that goes, is taking care of ourselves and like breathing.

Melissa: 13:20

Yeah, and that's part of why I feel like it's helpful to have that understanding too, is because before I would just be in those modes and not even realize that's what was happening. And now having this diagnosis and this understanding of A DHD, I'm like. I can see this is what's happening. And so then when my brain's like, no, you can't, you're not gonna go to the bathroom, you don't need to eat dinner, it's fine. Keep going. I'm like, oh, I see what this is. And also I can take three minutes to go to the bathroom. So that's helpful too, just in terms of having the understanding and the awareness and knowing this is what's happening and I don't necessarily need to work through dinner.

Megs: 13:59

What a beautiful way that you're explaining that too, it's not as if our brain is changing, There's no curing A DHD, I do think it's incredible that the more we know, the more that we can talk ourselves out of some of these things, that our brain is just going to naturally take us on a journey

Melissa: 14:14

yeah, a hundred percent.

Megs: 14:17

And it's still gonna happen. But the more you practice, the more you can say, okay, what if I slowed down a little bit? What if I just chilled?

Melissa: 14:23

sometimes I'll make myself reminders because my brain doesn't always wanna kick in with the no, you can go to the bathroom. And this is one of the things that, like coming back to that acceptance piece is like, I would've never made a sticky note before that says it's okay to go to the bathroom or don't forget to eat dinner and put it on my computer screen, right? Because my brain would've said. that's dumb. You don't need to make a sticky note that says that nobody else makes a sticky note that says that. Don't do that. And so with that acceptance piece is just if that's what you need, who cares?

Megs: 14:54

Yeah.

Melissa: 14:55

care if there's anybody else on the world who makes a sticky note that says, don't forget to go to the bathroom. If it works for you, it works for you. And so that's been a big part of the journey too, is finding what works for me and letting that be okay.

Megs: 15:10

I appreciate that so much. In that specific example, and you mentioned that earlier too, it's like you've started to work with your brain instead of against it so that you can understand what you need in your life. And so when it comes to your business or when it comes to, you have a neat and tidy home that you have, and sometimes you have more animals living in it than the animals that you own, Can you give us some other examples of how you work with your brain in your space to help you live a life that makes sense for you?

Melissa: 15:40

so the organization, of my desk and just my office space is a big one for me. And I used to try to just push past that and now I'll come in here sometimes in the mornings and be like. You are not gonna be nearly as productive as you wanna be if you don't do this first. I had a senior foster cat who was 20 and she lived in my office and she was a bit of a mess. so I had to clean my office like every single day. And there were some days that I was like, just start working. But then the other part of me was like, you're gonna feel so much calmer and more peaceful and Like you have your shit together if you just take 10 minutes and clean this first. So that's part of it. I do a good doom pile now and then, because even just like having it sorted and stacked can feel better than nothing, right? Better than just like having it all over the place. and then at least I know like I can just tackle one at a time'cause they are categorized and organized. I think part of it too is finding some sort of Planner or calendar or whatever system works for you. and that is, that one makes me laugh'cause I know it's always like a joke in the A DHD community about like how many planners we buy. And I can't tell you how many planners I have in my desk drawer that are like, have between a week and a month filled out. And then after that I'm like, Nope, I hate this planner.

Megs: 17:07

Yeah.

Melissa: 17:08

for a while I stopped using a planner and I just used a to-do list and that was. Good enough. I've recently found one that is a little bit different, that has like different columns for different categories and so you can put your tasks and your to-dos and your reminders and things in the different columns, and that's working really well for me. just trying the different things and being okay with okay, Sally loves this planner and she swears by it, but it is not working for me, so let me try something different. That's helped.

Megs: 17:38

That's awesome. I think what's interesting about the planner thing is it's not necessarily that we can't use planners or that they're inefficient. It's that we think that it's gonna be the answer to everything. So we buy it and we get this dopamine hit, and then we start to use it and we're still getting the dopamine hit. But then we're known to not be consistent with

Melissa: 17:58

Right.

Megs: 17:59

so because we're not consistent now, we haven't used it for a week. why would I go back to it now? It's not a failure. It's just simply that you weren't consistent for that amount of time. You are allowed to go back to it. just won't feel as good as it did when you initially bought it and when you initially started filling it out. Now it's gonna feel a little bit different, and that's the uncomfortableness that we sometimes have to push past, and you're allowed to buy the planner. You just are also allowed to go back to it when it doesn't feel as good

Melissa: 18:27

It's so funny that you say that because this planner that I have, that I'm using now, I always fill it out on Monday mornings, and for some reason, Monday I forgot to do it. And so yesterday morning I was like, oh man, forgot to do the planner. Was like, I just won't do it this week. And I was like, it's Tuesday. I'm like, you have six more days. Fill out your planner. But it's, yeah. It's funny how our brain is oh, nope. Ruined.

Megs: 18:51

Yep. It's like this. It's the perfectionist mindset, right? if we can't do it, then why would we do it? It's the same with the diet mentality and all of these other things. I have to share this with you'cause you're gonna find this hilarious. So I made a cake for Cora last year for her birthday. She was turning five. I had great intentions. I thought for sure this was gonna be like my new adventure. I was going to be a cake decorator, which is probably why I laughed so hard when you originally were talking about it a minute ago.'cause I'm like, I'm gonna be really good at this I wasn't, it turned out awful. It looked hideous with sparkles,

Melissa: 19:29

I mean that probably helped. Yeah. It's okay to not be the best.

Megs: 19:35

It is okay. Even Charlotte, my 7-year-old, she was like, Cora, I just want you to know that mommy tried really hard

Melissa: 19:42

Oh

Megs: 19:42

just needs some more practice at doing this. And but it's things like that we just have to realize that it's okay to come back to it and learn from what we did

Melissa: 19:51

I heard somebody say once, if you have a bike and your bike gets a flat tire, are you just gonna throw the whole bike away? No, you're probably just gonna pump up the tire or get a new tire. But that's what we wanna do. oh, I missed one day on my planner, so I'm just not gonna do the planner all week.

Megs: 20:09

because you know your brain, you're now challenging yourself. They're like, it's fine that I didn't do it yesterday. Yesterday I got to fly by the seat of my pants. And live in the wind of time today, I might create some more structure around my life and try to abide by this time thing that people like to live by, And you get to discover the different ways you approach the day with intention.

Melissa: 20:32

That's the crazy part is that we keep the broken bike because we're like, one of these days this new bike is gonna break and then I can use parts from the old bike to fix this one. And then when the new bike breaks, you think we're gonna do that? No. We get a new bike and now we have two broken bikes and a new one.

Megs: 20:51

We've got the greatest ideas. It's just that sometimes we don't take the action on them,

Melissa: 20:56

Yeah.

Megs: 20:56

you have the greatest ideas when it comes to your business. So when we're thinking about taking action on all of these things, how do you stay organized in your business and make sure that your. fulfilling your goals. You have a podcast, you have the networking group that you manage, but you also have a networking group that you facilitate and then you do all of these other things too. How do you keep all of that going?

Melissa: 21:20

I have help. That's part of it. And not help in terms of like outsourcing and delegation, but help in terms of, I do have a VA and she's amazing, but one of the things that she's the most helpful with is She created a Slack channel. we have a number of Slack channels, but one of the ones she created for me is called Brain Dump. And she's like, anytime you have a great idea, just put it in there. And so I do, and that helps because then sometimes I get distracted because I'm working on something and then I have this great idea and I think I have to act on this great idea right now. Or it's gonna be gone forever. And so that helps me stay focused on what I'm doing because I'm like, okay, it's not gone forever. It's in the brain dump. And it also helps because then sometimes I go back to it and I'm like, okay, that actually wasn't that great of an idea. and sometimes I go back to it and I'm like, yeah, that was a great idea. And then she helps me actually break that great idea down into Here's the steps that we need to take to make that great idea actually happen. I also have recently hired, Jessica Millhiser, who you were on my podcast with recently, and she is all about like business systems and, strategies and processes and just helping you streamline so you can get things done. And that's been really helpful for me because she's really helped me set like. Annual goals and then figure out how to break those annual goals into quarterly goals. And then we break the quarterly goals into monthly goals and being able to break it down that way and have support breaking it down that way. and. And help figuring out what to prioritize, like what to do first and when to do it and when. And sometimes on our Zoom call, she will have me like actually pull up my calendar and okay, let's find where you're gonna time block in every single one of these things. So like, all these things you said you were gonna do this month now are on your calendar. And so just having that accountability and also somebody to help me work through it and break it down has been really helpful. and that's the kind of thing too, one of the things that you asked me before this podcast was about what advice I would give to people who have a DHD, especially if they're newly diagnosed. And that's one of the biggest things I think, is like figuring out what kind of help and support you need and not being afraid to get it for so long I thought you should be able to just motivate yourself, like why do you need somebody else to hold you accountable? Or like the idea of coworking or body doubling is so weird to some people. Like, why would you do that? I added a weekly coworking call to the powerful women rising community, for so long I tried to tell myself like, you don't need to do that. You don't need to set a timer. You don't like. Just be a normal person and do it the way normal people do it. And my life has gotten so much easier since I have just accepted like, this is the support and the help I need, and this is what works for me and there's no shame in asking for it and getting it. And those are the things that really help me stay organized and stay on task and help me also be less distracted, I think.

Megs: 24:29

what's really interesting about how you're saying that is like finding the things that work for you and not just because they're neurotypical friendly or neurodiverse friendly. It's you friendly. So you had mentioned that you wanted for so long to wake up early and then just found that wasn't your thing. I have wanted for so long to wake up early and I found that it is my thing. here's the difference though. I knew I needed time for myself before my kids got up in the when I would have that time for myself and my kids got up in the morning, it made all the difference in the world in my day.

Melissa: 25:07

Yes.

Megs: 25:09

I'm still a night person for the most part, but I have figured out a way to. Manipulate my brain into getting up earlier in the morning. There is a lot of advice out there that says neuro with a DHD can't get up earlier in the morning and that's not gonna make you thrive. So don't just take that advice. But you've got to figure out what works for you. And if you have a DHD, it doesn't mean that something is gonna work for you absolute, and something is not gonna work for you absolute. It's just that you've gotta try it, you've gotta fail at it, and you've gotta figure out what that failure is telling you and do you wanna overcome that failure or not? Because you get to freaking decide You're still a human that gets to make the decisions on what routines work for you and what doesn't.

Melissa: 25:57

Yeah.

Megs: 25:57

I think that's what's cool is that you don't have to wake up at five in the morning to be successful and to be a badass entrepreneur. You get to decide what works for you. but I really appreciate that because while we're told so many things, you just gotta figure out what's right for you in the end of it.

Melissa: 26:15

Yeah, and sometimes it changes and you can be okay with that too, If I woke up tomorrow and magically had a 5-year-old, maybe I would be more motivated to get up earlier. Or, I'm thinking of a time in my life where, I was much younger, but I would get up every morning at four 30 because I did a boot camp at five. I can get up early. I'm. Capable of it. but now being self-employed and not having children, not having human children and having cat children who are awake at 3:00 AM when seven o'clock comes, I'm like, I don't wanna get up right now. And it's okay to not,

Megs: 26:53

Yeah,

Melissa: 26:54

and it's okay if that changes someday.

Megs: 26:56

it totally is. I do find that when I shake up my routine a little bit, that helps me.'cause then my brain is Ooh, something new. So you are an entrepreneur and you've done a lot of things. You told us a little bit about what your history was and where you've come from. You were a relationship coach, and now you focus primarily on networking. did you know that it was time to transition in your business from one thing to where you are now?

Melissa: 27:25

That's a great question because I don't know if it's just entrepreneurship or if it's a DHD or maybe a little bit of both, but I often have experiences where I will do something for a month and then I'm like, okay, I'm done doing this. Let's do something else. And so knowing when is the time that's okay, it's really time to do something else. And when is the time? That's okay, no, this is just your brain saying okay, it's time to do something else. But really it's not, can be a little bit tricky. And for me it was a series of things happening like. Those little whispers that you get from the universe that are like, it's time to do something different. And you're like, no, I'm not listening to you. Like I have spent so much time and so much money and so much energy building this business. We're not doing something else. And then it just keeps getting louder and louder. And for me. The big thing was, the summer that I shut down my coaching business. I hadn't shut it down yet, but I was thinking about it. I woke up one day and I got on Facebook and my Facebook account had been deleted. And at that point I had a Facebook group for single women that had about 3000 women in it. I had a book club for single women that I did, and they were all in a Facebook group. I had about 300 women in that group and they were all gone'cause I had not learned the lesson that you need to make someone else an admin of your Facebook group just in case this happens so they can let you back in. I was upset about it for a while, and then the other part of me was like, okay, maybe this is just the universe telling you like you're done. And maybe the universe knew that I was gonna drag my feet on this for another year and was like, here, let me just make this easy for you, like you are done. so that was part of it and part of that process too was realizing that. Initially, it felt like everything I had done in my relationship coaching business was for nothing because now I was starting all over with a totally different business and realizing that I actually did a podcast episode on this and I called it like starting again versus starting over. Because I realized like you're actually not starting over. You're taking everything that you learned in the last seven years, whether it was about building a business or about what it takes to have a successful relationship, and you're using all of that to build the next business, which is going to make it like so much simpler and easier and better because you have all that experience and that knowledge. And it's really interesting because. when I talk about networking, I always say networking happens anywhere that you're building a connection with another person. So essentially networking is relationships, like that's what it is. Whether it's a relationship with somebody that you see once a month at your networking meeting, or it's a relationship with somebody that end up having contact with on a more regular basis. There's still some basic fundamentals of relationship building that. Apply whether you are dating and trying to find love, or you are networking and connecting with people and building your business that way. And so a lot of it, a surprising amount of it has transferred over, which is interesting.

Megs: 30:38

That makes so much sense, right? You're not starting from scratch. You're building on a foundation that you have been working hard on. So obviously you're not teaching the same things that you once were, but so much of it has foundational elements that are so similar,

Melissa: 30:52

Yeah,

Megs: 30:53

so why networking?

Melissa: 30:55

in my experience building my coaching business, I spent so much time and money on. All the things that I thought were gonna be the thing that I was missing, like this is what I need to finally succeed. This is what I need to finally start making consistent income. And there's a lot of good marketing out there, there's a lot of good sales people out there, and it is appealing when you've been in business for a year or two years and you're still not making money it's very easy to believe that Nancy can tell you how to make six figures in 90 days, and all you have to do is pay her$10,000 for her course or whatever it is, right? And so we're like, oh, thank God. Here's the answer finally. And when I looked back on. My experience building my coaching business, what I realized was none of those things were ever the answer. And that doesn't mean there wasn't value in them, there was in many of them. But the thing that had consistently made me money and brought me clients was the relationships that I had built and the connections that I had made. I knew I wanted to be a part of empowering. Female entrepreneurs and I realized that one of the best ways I could do that was to help them stay focused on this connection and relationship building piece and not get so caught up in thinking that they need all of this other stuff. I talk to women all the time who are either. Struggling to make consistent income, or they're making consistent income, but they're struggling to get to the next level. And they're spending all this time in their office, like redoing their sales page, building a new funnel, planning a webinar, like all of the things. And I'm like, why don't you stop what you're doing and go out in the world and start having conversations with humans?

Megs: 32:48

Yeah.

Melissa: 32:49

Nobody's coming to your webinar if they don't know that you exist. And if they don't have a connection with you, none of this is, and again, all of that is important stuff. It's not that you can build a business without it. I think there's a lot of people selling like, this is the one thing that you need. no, you need all of these things. But at the core of it is having connections and relationships with people. And so that's what I wanted to do.

Megs: 33:18

I love what you do too.

Melissa: 33:20

networking for me was also and continues to be something I really like talking about because I think there's an assumption that networking is a great business growth strategy for people who are extroverted and. Confident and not awkward in conversations and super, like charming and charismatic. Like we expect those people to be good at networking when we think of networking. and one of the reasons that I really like talking about it and being the face of networking for a lot of people is because I'm not like that. I have my charming moments, but for the most part, I am an introvert. I would almost rather. Always be at home than out in the world. I can be very shy, I can be very anxious, I can be very awkward in conversations, and I still have been able to build a successful business through networking. And I wouldn't even say it's in spite of those things. I would say it's because of those things. Like one of the things that. draws my people to me is that authenticity and that realness and that like sometimes I'm awkward and here we are and it's okay. and it gives other people permission to be the same way and that is appealing to them. And so I like being able to show people that there is a way to. Build your business through networking, while still staying true to yourself and finding the way to do it that feels good to you as opposed to trying to make yourself be the like Joe Schmoozer used car salesman, happy hour guy that we all think of as that's what networking is and it's actually really not.

Megs: 34:59

what's interesting, as you say this is when I first started my business, I thought that I had to have such, such a great social media presence. I thought that I had to have so many likes and so many followers, and then I would be able to be successful. It was then that I realized that I was successful because of the people that I knew and the people that I continued to talk to.

Melissa: 35:23

Yes.

Megs: 35:23

each and every one of my clients either came from my podcast or came from a friend who had referred them, or a friend who had told them about me. and I think what's so fascinating about this. Social media is great. In some cases, and I've had so many podcasts, guests that I've met through social media, and it's really truly through that connection. And I have a friend who. Told me she hated networking. I had mentioned it in one of our podcast groups. I was like, let's all network. I created this whole schedule so that we could all get together and get to know each other a little bit more, which was really fun. And she told me, she's I don't really like networking. She's an introvert. She doesn't wanna put herself out there. She wants to put herself out there, but she's like, I don't really see the benefit of it. So because she said that it was then. That I decided to let her know every time something that was networking was positively impacting her in her life.

Melissa: 36:20

You are like, I'll show you.

Megs: 36:22

She loves and hates me at the same time, and I am who I am. She accepts me for who I am, but it's oh, because you told me about that. I told you about her and now she's connected with you and now follows you. So do you see how that created this connection and it's just so fun because. The more you talk to people, the more that you're able to truly express what you're doing too. I just met someone today and I had looked at our Instagram page, and it wasn't until. I spoke with her in real life today that I truly understood what she did. she's like, but I don't know how to tell people what I do. And I'm like, that makes sense. It makes total sense. And then I immediately thought about your group and I thought about, so like it's just really neat to be able to make. Real connections with other humans who genuinely wanna be out there helping people. But it's crazy because the people that genuinely wanna be out there helping people are the people that don't know how to tell you what they're doing because it can feel so uncomfortable.

Melissa: 37:20

part of that is finding the structure and the format of networking that you like and that works for you. some people really like the happy hours that have no structure. That's just come and schmooze and talk to people and. Insert yourself in conversations. That's like my worst nightmare. but you gimme a little structure. You tell me like, sit at this table for the next 10 minutes and you're gonna talk to those people about this topic. I'll do that all day long. So trying different formats and sometimes we don't like the big group. Sometimes we just wanna talk to one person or we would just wanna talk in a small group. And so finding places where you can do it in a way that works for you is very helpful too.

Megs: 38:01

So tell us about your groups that you hold.

Melissa: 38:04

Yeah. I host a monthly virtual speed networking event for female entrepreneurs that people from all over the world join. it's super fun. We usually have between 60 and 80 women on those calls, and we do breakout rooms and have topics to discuss in the breakout rooms. and that's a really good opportunity, especially for people who think that they don't like networking or. Who feel like anxious and start like sweating and getting hives when they think about networking. It's very like low stress, not as intimidating as like physically walking into a room of a bunch of strangers. and I always say if you can get freaked out, you can just pretend like you don't have a good connection and then you're gone. Like you can't do that if you're in an actual room. So I host those once a month. And then I also have the Powerful Women Rising community, which is, for female entrepreneurs. And it's a mix of networking. We have mastermind calls. at the rockstar level we do a lot specifically with networking. so We have a networking lab where we practice different things related to networking and not in like a cheesy role play way, but like actually figuring out like, how do we do this better? Or, I came into this situation and I wasn't really sure how to handle it. We talk a lot about like, how do we have conversations that aren't small talk without being like. So person I just met. Tell me about your, worst childhood traumas, how do we find something in the middle? and so yeah, there's just, there's a lot involved in the powerful Women rising community, and I did that intentionally so that the connection would just be built in so that you don't have to have 50 coffee dates. You don't have to have 50 Zoom calls with the people in the community every month to make sure that you're building those relationships and that you're staying top of mind with them. You're showing up to the Mastermind, the coworking calls, the networking lab, things like that, and your relationships are growing organically, which, is very fun and also a lot more comfortable for most people.

Megs: 40:01

how can people get in touch with you and join a networking call or join your community?

Melissa: 40:06

Yeah, the best way is just to go to my website, which is powerful women rising.com. you can find my podcast on the website. You can find, there's an event section that talks about the upcoming virtual speed networking events, if you wanna check one of those out. and then there's also information about joining the Powerful Women Rising Community on there.

Megs: 40:23

Melissa, thank you so much for joining us today. any last words of wisdom you'd like to impart?

Melissa: 40:29

I just will reiterate the importance of giving yourself grace. Being compassionate and understanding with yourself, not being judgmental with yourself or telling yourself like you should be able to do something or you shouldn't have to do it this way. This should be easier for you. just accepting where you're at and what you need in order to be successful and letting that be okay.

Megs: 40:52

Thank you so much, Melissa. It was great having you on.

Melissa: 40:54

Thank you so much for having me.

40:59

Isn't Melissa amazing? She has a podcast too, so check her out. All of her links are in the show notes below, if you wanna join One of her amazing networking events coming up, she has given us a coupon code to use to attend for free. So go to the show notes below, when you go to pay, use the coupon code organize to get into the networking event for free. As a reminder, the organizing and a DHD brain community is now on circle. I'd love to invite you in. We have two virtual decluttering sessions each month, group coaching, virtual body doubling sessions. We even have a stagnant room, so if you wanna join there with someone else in the group, you're welcome to just to get things done. It is an incredible proven technique to do things with other people, to feel more motivated to do the things that you don't necessarily wanna do. The mundane. And if you're looking for your sign to find a community or to get started, this is your sign. Life isn't slowing down at all, and if you're waiting to feel like it's gonna slow down, Something else is just gonna happen beyond that point. If you wanna get organized without having to change your life or stop your life to do so, come check out the organizing and a DH ADHD brain community. I can't wait to see you on the other side. Oh, and you get a free coaching as soon as you complete onboarding. So I mean, a win-win. Don't forget to follow the show so you get notifications of all the new episodes. And if today's the day, I would love for you to leave a review. If this podcast has supported you or helped you in any way, it would mean the world to me. Thanks so much. Have a great day.