Permission to Be Yourself: Embracing Authenticity & ADHD with Amanda

YNAB: You Need a Budget

In this episode, the host celebrates Pride Month and introduces her digital sidekick, Amanda Guadalupi. They discuss the challenges of living in a constantly changing world and how emotions are particularly complex for those with ADHD. The conversation covers a variety of topics, including the importance of asking oneself 'how am I doing?', the journey of starting a business, and the continuous evolution in both professional and personal life. Amanda shares her story of being newly diagnosed with ADHD, her experience working with the host, and how she integrates her passions into her business. They also explore tools for organization, the importance of small beginnings (including starting), and the value of supportive communities. The episode concludes with an invitation to join their community and participate in upcoming events focused on decluttering and personal growth.

Amanda Guadalupi is the founder of Mind Your Queer Business, where co-creation and big feelings build unforgettable brands. She feels the most aligned with entrepreneurs who feel a little too human for business as usual. She’s a queer, neurodivergent strategist who accidentally built a business after recovering from burnout, grief, while also becoming a parent and getting diagnosed with ADHD. (It was a lot.)

Now she supports values-driven entrepreneurs in building brands with soul, and helps them use AI to amplify their voice, not replace it. Her work lives at the intersection of identity, visibility, authenticity—and the kind of strategy that won’t make you rich overnight, but might actually feel good to live inside. On her new blog Mind Your Queer Mama, she explores the mess, meaning, and magic of being a neurodivergent parent and entrepreneur. She lives in Vermont with her partner and their wild little wonder.  When she's not working with creatives, you can find her knee deep in sensory bin filler & forgetting that she's turning 39, not 40.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindyourqueerbusiness/

Website: www.mindyourqueerbusiness.com

03:06 Meet Amanda Guadalupi
04:17 Amanda's Journey and Business Insights
08:45 Branding and Personal Growth
17:46 Organizing Tips for ADHD
21:13 Tools and Strategies for Business Organization
25:32 Overcoming Overwhelm and Embracing Consistency
26:59 The Power of Community and Support
28:53 Starting Small and Taking Action
31:33 Embracing Growth and Self-Acceptance
39:07 Intentional Living and Room Swaps

Join the Organizing an ADHD Brain COMMUNITY waitlist for the FALL: What is the Community?

Looking for ADHD-friendly support with decluttering, organizing, or just making life feel a little less chaotic? The new Ways To Connect page is your go-to hub for real-life tools, gentle guidance, and ways to connect—free and paid, no pressure.

The TO DO list Daily Planner is available here! TO DO List Daily Planner

The ULTIMATE Recycling & Disposal Guide: Disposal Guide

Transcript

0:43

Hey, beautiful people. Welcome back to another episode of organizing an A DHD Brain. This week I'm really excited to wish you a happy Pride month, which I haven't done yet. Oh my goodness. And also introduce you to my digital sidekick, Amanda Guadalupe. And she is absolutely incredible. We have a very lighthearted conversation in the podcast this week, but I also know that a lot of you listening I might be thinking about how heavy the world feels right now, no matter where you are, where you live, what you're feeling, what your beliefs are, we are getting inundated with information and stuff being thrown at us at such a rapid speed. It's hard to even begin to process it or double check it or find a resource that backs up. How to understand this in a way that makes sense or how we can keep our families safe in a world that is constantly changing with leadership. Let's be honest, that isn't very reassuring on a regular basis. One thing I talk about here, but we don't talk about a lot with A DHD is how emotions run rampant. When it comes to the way that our brain works, things often become hard. Because there's a lot of emotions that come up when we're transitioning from one thing to another and handling everything that's happening in our lives, or sometimes even the lack of emotion until something triggers us. So I invite you this week to take a step back and ask yourself, how am I doing? How am I actually doing? So how are you? Seriously? How are you doing? Are you okay? And it's okay to not be okay. I just want you to know that you're not alone, no matter how you're feeling. And it's okay to not be okay. One moment. And to also be smiling, laughing in the next, because no matter how crazy. No matter how much our world is changing on a regular basis, it's very important that we hold our heads high and we continue to speak up, and we continue to hold our communities together, our friends, the people who build us up, the people who light us up, because it's through that positive energy that will help us keep going. And yes, we will cry. There will be days that are so much harder than others and we'll also find ways to lift each other up. That's important too. With that said, I really hope you enjoy this episode today. Amanda and I hilariously find out that we're the same age in this episode, and also how tall we are. So many unique, fun things. We also talk about just getting started, like what does it mean to get started? There's so many people that I speak to that don't know where to start. I am gonna do another episode on some really great ideas on how to get started with A DHD when it comes to not only my advice as a coach, but how I do it myself. One of the things that I encourage you to do. Is, ask yourself how you are and if you're tired, if you're overwhelmed, take the rest You need so much. With that said, here's Amanda. Welcome back to organizing an A DHD Brain. I am so excited to introduce you to my friend and digital sidekick. Amanda, welcome to the show. Amanda, hello. Thank you for having me. I'm super excited, to just be a part of it. I love what you do and I happen to know a lot about what you do because Amanda has been helping me in the business for months now. I think we met last November, October-ish I think so. It was cool because I had started my business a year earlier and I was at my wits end, as they say, and didn't know. Gosh, like what I needed to do next. I just knew I needed help. And so I had been talking about just obviously running the business on the podcast, and then I posted on LinkedIn that I was looking for an assistant, someone to support me, and lo and behold, you found me. But tell me a little bit about your journey and how you found me. Because I just love the story. It's just so fun in how our world's collided and it all worked out. Yeah, I totally agree. I was a more newly diagnosed, adhd or I think it was like the fall leading up to meeting you. and so I was trying to absorb as much content as I could and just finding podcasts that felt aligned with where I was at. And I really started listening to some of your episodes and just really enjoyed your guests, really enjoyed your tone, and just how you spoke about. something that could just seem so easy, but as we know, like it's really difficult when you have a DHD, but just you had such like a, like self-acceptance, energy to the whole idea of organizing and it was so much more than just a space. And I was like, I need this podcast. And so I just started listening through and I think you had someone on who had maybe a virtual assistant or something like that, and then found you on LinkedIn and saw that you had actually made a post about it. And at the time I was really only, working with a couple of people. I was mostly full time stay at home mom, but I was ready to take the next step or go back to a nine to five. It was one or the other. and I just had to reach out. I had to throw my hat in, because you were exactly the kind of person that I would want to work with. That's so cool. And thank you for reaching out. And it worked out because we met and then in classic A DHD form. I don't think I reached back out for another three weeks or so. Then I was like, let's do this. Let's make it happen. Honestly, it's been so helpful because I think in so much of our lives, as a professional organizer, I'm good at the physical stuff and I'm good at explaining that through and helping you make decisions. But when it comes to managing this business, this is a whole nother level. And now I not only have to be an expert at finances, which you know,'cause you're running your own business too. Mm-hmm. You have to be an expert marketer and then you have to be an expert at, customer service and speaking to people. And there's so much that goes into it. And hiring you has been one of the best things I could have ever done for myself because you've removed some of the barriers to getting stuff done and helped me with your expertise and some of the things that I'm just not an expert at, which has been fascinating. So tell us a little bit about your business. What do you do and. How do you show up in this world? Yeah. my business mind, your queer business was born at a really, just such a raw, weird time in my life, of being a new parent and, newly diagnosed and just had a lot of personal intersecting. Big catalyst happening. and it was born because I, if you look at my resume, like it was very clear I had a DHD, it's very clear. I didn't know. But I have all these interesting jobs and I can wear many hats and I love working for small businesses and love working for CEOs and love just getting in there and being the right hand, to my detriment. I had this really robust skillset, like pretty, pretty crazy when it comes to doing this, more admin stuff to some more design stuff. And I've always been a creative, I've always, it's just it me to make art. I wouldn't necessarily call myself an artist, but I'm an idea person and I think that's why, i've worked the jobs that I have worked and been able to pivot and go for jobs that I'm not quite qualified for, but then like crush it, the A DHD, but the longevity in that is, is not, it's not viable for me. And I just kept feeling my boundaries, just getting pulled out so much. And ultimately I was like, well, what if I take all these skills and use them in a way that feels aligned with my own values and aligned with the time I can spend on it? And just see what happens. And it started off with mostly admin and automations and behind the scenes stuff. And as my business has grown, you've really helped me with this. I've started to just see, some of my other skill sets that I know have been underutilized with branding, and with design and with, certain other offerings that I'm really trying to bring forth in my business. that's been the evolution to now and it's still unfolding because that is the beauty of having your own, business, right? It's never finished I've finally come to terms with like, oh, it's always going to be evolving. Forever. Yeah. I'm gonna relate this back to organizing'cause I think you make such a good point. I was even talking to a new business owner this morning. There's like eight thoughts at once, but I was talking to a new business owner this morning and I was telling her how, when I first started my business I was like, I will be the. Exception to the rule, I'm gonna be so successful my first year. It's gonna be amazing. And yes, I launched the podcast. It was incredible. And I grew, but also there were so many things I had to learn along the way that I wouldn't have possibly been able to learn overnight. Not only about myself, but. But about the business and truly what I wanted to do and my niche and who I was talking to. I bring that back to organizing because it's so important to start. It doesn't matter where you start, but as long as you're starting and you're taking action, that's what matters. When I first started working with you, I was talking to you about my brand and I had, one of my friends, an incredible graphic designer, helped me put together my original package. I was mindful moves organizing with megs, and then I had this really cool circle that I still have. Mm-hmm. And then I had these really cool like succulent designs, but I had a really muted color palette. And it felt right at the time because as I was looking into organizing, everything around me and everything I had researched was like, oh, it needs to be calm. It needs to be subtle. It just needs to be, a really chill vibe. But as we continued to work with each other, I was like, I know it kind of like orange. Like let's, what if we said orange here? and then I had teal in one of my colors. So you were like, you said orange. Here's some ideas for you. Which got my brain a little bit more wrapped around the idea of change. But it didn't happen overnight. It was, I said something, you took action on it. Which bridged This gap of this barrier I had because I knew that changing my branding and my colors I wanted it to happen overnight, but it felt like this huge project, right? It just gradually happened over time and now I am just organizing an A DHD brain. There's teal and there's orange, and there's pinks, and it's bright and it makes my brain happy. And for me it's very calming because dopamine is calming for me, right? I see these colors and they bring me so much joy. So you allow that to happen for me, but it wouldn't have happened if I didn't have that additional support. That kind of just like flipped your nudge in the direction of what I said I wanted anyway. that's why I love branding work so much because when we are. In the thick of our business. It is so personal. We are right there. Like we can't see, the forest for the trees or whatever that saying is like, we're right. We're up against it. So everything just feels like at any moment you can make the wrong decision and everything could just be done. Like it's so, it's the stakes feel so high when it's our own brand. And what I love to do, especially when I'm so passionate about what an entrepreneur does, which is again, like why I work with people that I really wanna work with, is that I see them, right? I see you. I feel this. Potential with these colors. And you had some really wonderful, professional photos that had been taken, but I could tell you weren't quite ready for just, we didn't know each other yet. and I just was like, oh, this is who me is. I'm not someone who's gonna be like, okay, here. This is who you're gonna be. I'm just an amplifier, you're already who you are and my job is just to pump up the volume. I think people get it wrong a lot of the time when they come to people for brand help and say, okay, I have no idea who I am. Tell me who I am. I feel like that's just like a recipe for, rebranding, a year down the road. And so I love that it was such an organic and such a flow of a process, for you and for me. And really, like for anyone that's doing branding, the. Biggest piece of advice I can give you is to trust your instincts over any trend, over any website that you kind of like, trust your instincts. If you wanted to do something, but maybe somebody else is doing it, it doesn't matter. Like yours is gonna be different, I promise. that's what I've learned working with branding specifically.'cause it's so personal. when I first went into that photo session, it was with a friend of mine and she, oh my gosh, she's such a great photographer in the Colorado Springs area. Lafe photography, if you're in this area. She's been taking our photos like my whole. Actually since I met Adam, we actually met working at the brewery with her and she took photos of us before we even got engaged, which I remember, and they're kind of embarrassing. I hope she has them somewhere. But I went into this session and she's like, oh, what are your brand colors? And I was like, I don't know what you're saying. I had brought orange pants with me. I had an orange blazer. I had a pink tank top. And she's like, wow, these are some bright colors. And that was exactly who I was. But of course I chose these other muted tones because I think I was trying to fit in to something that I thought I was supposed to be. But it's been really cool to have these really bright colored photos that we've established this like real brand of mind out of itself. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. That, and I think the tips that you offer and like how you approach organizing, for, you know, neurodiverse people, it is more colorful, right? I feel like I've learned so much about just. Being at peace with the messy middle.'cause I'm for sure in the messy middle. Which is why I love the benefits of working with you, is that I get to enjoy the community and get to, you know, just be a part of it. Yeah, no, that's, I appreciate you saying that too, because, coming back to the journey of building a business, the journey of organizing is the same. There's no sprint that you're trying to reach the end of, right? Mm-hmm. This is a marathon, and even on that marathon, there's no end point. You're not gonna cross the finish line one day and be like, I did it. We're gonna be like, and this is how I experienced it. I like earlier this year, even last year, I was like, oh, I have a lot less stuff. I've really come so far I'm curious, as you started exploring your own A DHD diagnosis and listening to podcasts, what do you think is the most valuable? Piece of information that you've learned about yourself over this last year or even six months that you could share with everyone? I think for me, there was this weird, like permission, that had been like gifted to me somehow to just be myself, and. There was this moment of realizing, when you have a DHD, like you're a heavy masker, you have this mask on and you're just, you're performing so much of the time. And I was so fused to my face that I didn't even realize I had it on for decades. And all of a sudden you don't have a mask on anymore, but you also have the option to put some different masks on and to really just play around with the different versions of you that show up on any given day. so just being myself, like really being myself. And it's crazy that it feels like it's taken me, I mean, I'll be 39 in July and I feel like it's just taken me so long to get to a point where I'm like, oh, I can wear whatever I want and I can structure this business however I want and I can, decide how much of my inner saboteur I'm gonna let in today. I just feel like I have a lot more agency over myself, as someone who is more newly diagnosed than I ever did before. That's so cool. We're discovering'cause I'm gonna be 39 in June. Holy smokes. I literally said to Adam last night, I'm like, we're gonna be 40 next year. I don't think I knew we were the same. Are you a, Gemini? Yeah. So what are, are you a Pisces? No. Cancer. Cancer, okay. Yeah. That's crazy. I don't know a ton about the signs, but, people send me things about them and I'm like, thank you. Thank you. Okay. That's so funny that we're the same age. I had no idea. our version of that, we have to keep it to business, which is also very like loosely structured. I don't know how tall you are. I don't know. There's just so many things that I don't know about you. so how are you to learn? I'm five one. What? Oh my god. Yeah. I have a, I have a big personality. Yeah. But I am five, one and a half. I'm five, seven and a half, that's so interesting. That is fun to know.'cause when you do meet people in person and then you're like, whoa, I didn't even realize the height like it, it doesn't make a difference, obviously. But it is interesting in my mind I'm like, well what if you're six foot? It just would be funny, yeah. Okay. So in your business, now that you have a DHD, what have you learned about organizing in your own life? From being in my world and understanding your brain a little bit more? I think like starting small, these manageable bites of organizing. And part of that too is just having tools as someone who has a DHD now, like I'm, I chose medication and I love medication. and so I do feel like for the first time ever I'm able to bite off just enough, to really feel like I have accomplished something. Without just pulling everything out and then just crashing, which is very on brand for me. so I feel like I've learned to just be a little more realistic about what you can do in a day and starting with something small for sure. Yeah. Those are like the big things. And putting things where you would look for them. Yeah, that's a big one for me. Like clear bins. Like it would have been so counterintuitive a couple years ago to put anything in a clear bin, like cringe. but now so much of my stuff lives, where I can easily see it. Like if I pull it out, I can 360 view of it's somewhere in this bin. when I first started this journey, I was kind of against labels. I was like, Ugh, I don't feel like putting a label on everything. We don't need labels. And then after realizing how much inventory we have in our own damn homes, if you don't put a label on it, you're never going to be able to figure out where it goes. And it's funny'cause I had a client, actually my friend, who is the graphic designer, she was like, I don't really wanna do labels. And I was like, you have so many mediums that you're working with. I encourage you to do at least some labels. Let's do some and then let's move to the next step. I feel like for me too, like if you have a spouse that you want to stay married to, you also probably want labels. just because I know, my version of. What goes together and the why behind it. You'd have to be real psychic to figure out my system sometimes. So either working together with my wife on does this make sense for us? or like really good labels or else it's like they can't find the, arts and crafts stuff for Rex. And that's frustrating when I'm trying to work and it's frustrating for everyone. So I'm a label person personally. Yeah. But not an over labeler. Yes. Yeah. There's a happy medium. We just, we're selling everything, right? And so we have, in our laundry room, we have a big sign that says laundry in the room. And I put on Facebook marketplace. I'm like, do you ever find yourself not knowing what room you're in? Or even what to do in that room. Well, you're in luck because I have a sign for you. So we sold it this morning and I put it outside and I was like, Aw, I looked at the ceiling.'cause like things are changing and Adam's like, do you not know where you are right now? But I'm like, I don't, I dunno where It's fun to make fun of it, right? But labels are so helpful and why we label our rooms with these big signs. I don't know. Not everyone needs to do it, but I thought it was pretty hilarious. I feel like year two of being together with my wife, we've been together almost 11 years now. I was gifted a label maker, so that should tell you something about my personality with like gold tape. It was like a gold tape. Refills, label maker. So that pretty much sums me up, right? It's very telling of my personality., Even back then. So how do you stay organized in your business? You've grown from when I first met you and now you're doing so much more. How do you stay organized and coordinated?'cause it's different than the physical space. While there's a lot that's very similar at the same time. I would say I'm not necessarily in a, in the best flow of okay, I have my systems, they're working for me. but in the short term, the biggest thing that I've learned is that, everyone's gonna try to throw a tool at you that's gonna help and say, oh, try this thing, try this thing. This is what I use. My inclination to someone with A DHD is to be like, yes, fix it, please. I don't wanna have to worry about it. but usually i'll use the tool for a little bit, I will stop using it, and then I have to figure out another solution. So I've just started building my own solutions. Even if it's something as simple as like a Google sheet with some, fancy formatting. Just something that I know, it's like the idea, if I've built it, I understand it. Yeah, I will use it. So some of these platforms and CRMs and, kind of project management tools, they have a pretty high barrier to entry if you wanna actually use them in a way that's gonna make less work for you. For me right now, just having my own little systems that I'm building seems to be, helping with just getting some clarity for what I do, for who and how I structure it. What are the terms and just the stuff that, I wish I didn't have to worry about it. But it's important moving forward, to just have some more consistency. And I'm sure you understand this. Yeah. and I love what you said about the tool. There's so many tools out there, like a planner. The infamous planner, we all want them. Plus they're beautiful, and then they have this promise of perfect organization, and that's what we're seeking. We're seeking this perfection, but someone else has designed it, which means that now we're trying to fit in their box of what's expected of us. So if I buy a planner that has a habit tracker and I'm not used to tracking my habits and now I haven't done it, that's a failure to me. Like my perceived failure. Yeah. Now it hasn't been filled out, so now I feel like I'm not accomplishing what the planner has put forth for me. Agreed. But you hit the nail on the head is when you start to understand what you do and start out simpler, you get to build upon what you're doing and then eventually you can seek out some of these other platforms as a solution to what you're already doing. But I agree, I don't think that you should start there. One of my clients sent me a video of one of those skylight calendars. Have you seen those? Yeah. It's got like a picture flow. There's a calendar. There's like a meal plan. There's all kinds of really cool things on there. I also have one, and I set it up once. I spent a little bit of time on it. We have a chore chart on it. We used it about half the year, and now we just use it as pictures. They're just going back and forth, and my client who messaged me, she's like, I bought one of these and I never use it. And I'm like, okay. I think in the community. I'd love to have a month where we talk about, let's get out the stuff that we bought but never used and see if it could actually help us in our life. what could it add to our lives instead of having to reinvent the wheel. I think that that's a great idea.'cause I know that I have things like that that I'm not optimizing. This thing was supposed to make something else easier, but it felt hard at the time, but maybe it won't feel as hard right now. Or maybe I'm in a different place to have more space. Right. More bandwidth to tackle it. I use, for budgeting. You need a budget. I love, Me too. They're such a cool company. I'm a fan. They're a really cool company. I used to get alerts when I was job hunting for when jobs would open up and I'm like, I love, yeah. They were on a couple podcasts that I used to listen to and I like the way that they give every dollar a job. So that was a good example for me is I tried to use it once and it's cool'cause they have a free trial where you don't have to put your credit card information in, which is top notch. But when I first started, I synced everything. I put every account I had in there, every credit card. Then I even included investments or like my mortgage, everything. Mm-hmm. And I got so overwhelmed and it felt like. Too much to handle that I ran away, and it wasn't until a year later that I heard about them again. Mm-hmm. And I was like, what if I took the time to enter things manually and just kept it to the simplest form of the ins and outs of my checking account. And then I could add a little bit over time and I have now been a dedicated user for years because that's like what we need to remember with the tools and we're not consistent, like consistency is not in our book, which is okay. Because it's about continuity. It's about coming back to the things that we know have worked for us in the past and making them work for us again, but maybe in a new and improved kind of way because we're looking at it from a different lens in a different perspective. Yeah, and I know personally, if my brain has been given that challenge to figure the thing out and I'm up for it. I'm gonna retain that, information better. I'm gonna use it the way it's supposed to be used in a way that will work for me. and if I am, reaching for a tool for a quick fix, it's probably not gonna be a good fit. But if I'm reaching for a tool because I wanna learn, it's probably gonna be a better fit. And so I really try to pay attention to which is it Am I just overwhelmed in them reaching or am I, grounded and like looking to level up? Interesting. I love that. Take that away. Everyone that's delicious. Tell me, we started the community in the beginning of the year and now we've moved to a new platform, which has been top notch aside. from a great platform me not being able to figure out how to send a link to people to sign up. I'll get there. However, what do you think has been the biggest difference or something that you've noticed just being a part of community that is also trying to get organized? Yeah. I mean I love just having a place to go that is not Instagram or the news I love starting to wire my brain to click that app instead. and then I get to just like. Around energy of like-minded people who are, all kind of in their own organizing journey. who all have a DHD there's this it's like a quiet support right now.'cause the group's growing, and I still just go there and sometimes it's like, ah, I was even rereading people's, intros to, I have a DHD I'm gonna forget even the people that are in there. I was just like rereading, learning again about people that are in there.'cause I am interested in what people are doing and wanna be supportive and wanna know where people are in their journey. So that engagement is what gets me the most excited. It felt like it, left some weird box that it was in and it feels like it, went out into the world. Leaving Wix and going to circle, it feels like it's got a lot more to offer. I agree. And I, I just started, so when you join, you get a free coaching, a one-on-one with me, which we should totally do, we should do for you and I, talking about like your organizing journey.'cause I'd love to ask you some questions. I feel like I'm always avoiding that with you. let's do it. So you get a free one-on-one 30 minute call and. It's been really powerful because, and I work one-on-one with people, and so I really dive into their worlds. And in a perfect world, I would have the time to truly dive into everyone's life, but that's not the case. But I was talking to a woman the other day about just not knowing where to start. And so I've been thinking about that a ton because one of my clients said that the other day too, and we're just so nervous about being right and starting in the perfect place. Where, when it comes down to it, it's about starting and part of starting is simply just making the decision that you don't wanna live the way that you're living anymore. Like for me, I had no idea what to ask for from you, which is why it took me from having the conversation with you to see what you did. To finally saying, I'm ready, but I still don't know what to ask for from you. And even sometimes now I still don't know what to ask for from you, but we're learning and we're growing. And the point is, is that when you start taking action in the direction of where you wanna go, you start to truly understand what's next. And I was thinking about it this morning, do you think that anyone regrets? Starting where they did. When I think about it, I don't even remember where I started or it being wrong or right. I just did it. I think in the moment I didn't know where to start. But like when I finally did it, I don't, I would never go back and not start because I feel like I needed to start in a different place. I know. I had taken some time off after my son was born. We made a conscious decision to do that. and I knew that I wanted to pick up a little bit of work, but I didn't know how, and I just felt really overwhelmed with it. And some acquaintances of mine that are now really good friends were like, can you help with this? We just, we know that you can do this. Please help. And I was I don't. Know if I'm ready to jump back into whatever, because I was so burnt out on whatever was happening years prior. And I remember just being like, I just have to start, I just have to see what it feels like to not work for a company, just see how it feels to help them out. And I remember talking to my wife and saying. I could probably have more clients wouldn't that be cool if I could cover our overhead? I think I would probably go wild if I could cover our overhead. Yeah. that would be so cool. But in my mind being like, that feels so far away. And then fast forward, getting to that point. I'm not even celebrating it. No, I absolutely love that.'cause look at where you are now. I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you because it's so cool to see you grow and even the women that I started this podcast journey with to see where they were and where they are now. And yeah, the point is to start and to build on it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And there's a power that it's like, it can feel really tough to have a late in life diagnosis. I had so much grief around like who I could have been and all these versions of myself that I could have done anything, right? I could have done anything. Once I move through that and I still feel it, but as I'm moving through it, I'm just like, whoa. I get to do anything. Yeah. it's pretty cool that like you can start and that's that permission that I'm talking about, right? yes. Where I don't know if I would give myself this permission if I were, neurotypical. Yeah, like, I don't know, like what would be happening with the chemicals in my brain. Which is why I think we make great entrepreneurs. you and I are pretty open about talking about our therapy journey too, is just coping with the growth through a lot of this instead of asking what if we now say what now? Mm-hmm. Because it is very easy to look back. I actually just recently threw away some of my journals from when I was in high school.'cause I read them, I reflected on it and I'm like, okay, I think I'm ready to let these go now because. It reminded me so much of who I was and how much of that person I'm not anymore. Yeah. But also being able to imagine me giving her a hug because she would be so proud of the woman I am today. These like little versions of us that show up as we get older. Are so powerful, especially like when we let them come forth and then tend to them a little bit, and give them that hug that they need. And just even sometimes an apology like, oh man, we weren't so nice to ourselves. In that moment. Right. it's so powerful that, that little work that we can do with our empowered self to all of these little selves. And I'm not even talking about my kid self, I'm talking about like myself four years ago. Mm-hmm. seeing that person being like, oh man, I wasn't being kind enough to myself and I can see that version feeling so sad about that, Yeah, I never felt like I was enough and I constantly, I think what's really powerful for me nowadays is that I was constantly showing up for other people and I felt like when I let them down or perceived to have let them down and maybe they beat me up because of it, I would try to show up more to reconcile and to do more so that I would get approval. So to show up for myself in this way has been a really powerful transition. I'm still learning this is a growth journey. And again, I don't think there's an end point, right? Yeah. But I do think that the more I speak about the way that my brain works and the more I understand it, I grow. And one thing I realized more recently is, sometimes I put myself down because I. I'm like, oh my gosh, I coach people on this and I can't even manage it myself. And so here I am shaming myself because I'm not perfect. But truthfully, I'm coaching women and men. I'm coaching people and accepting themselves for who they are. And then sometimes I'm shaming myself. And so that's something I've actually really come to in the last couple months too, is. and yesterday I should like say it's freaking okay that I also have a DHD. And I'm still teaching people how to understand their brains. And it's okay that I have a coach. It's okay that I have people saying kind and beautiful, supportive words to me. I feel like we talked about this not even that long ago maybe it was even just like a quick text of like. I'm not buying what anyone's selling if they haven't struggled. If I can't tell that, like they haven't had a journey. it's probably not gonna align with the reality of struggle, right? With the reality that there are struggles that come. With having a DHD with many things in life. And if I look to you and I look to your brand and I see, this perceived perfection, there's nothing that's gonna resonate. For me. And that's my, my brand is don't expect perfection. Like this is the weird stuff over here. But I'm leaning into that, right? and that's who I wanna surround myself with is the people who, get it wrong. And then do it anyway. Right? And just grow. I wanna see people grow. I wanna see my mentors and my coaches, and I wanna see them all grow. I don't wanna think they're fully realized. yeah, because that's no fun. I said to my boss in the corporate world one time, I was like, can you tell me about a time that you failed? And then you learned from it. And he looked at me like I was insane. And I was like, no, seriously. I wanna know about your failures. And how grew to the person that you are now?'cause I recognized that in him that he was successful and he was doing some great things. He couldn't answer me. I don't even remember his response. I just remember the feeling in that moment and how insecure I think it made him feel. But what's fascinating, is that you don't learn from your successes. You learn from your failures. That's the only thing that's teaching you anything. There's some podcasts out there. I don't know which one, but there's an episode called like Failing Forward. Like falling forward, like you fall in your face, but really you do get somewhere, right? You get a little bit ahead, and you learn so much and you feel the feeling of disappointment or what didn't work or what needs to change. You really learn how to feel it. Then you get back up and you do it again. Yeah. I mean, and it hurts like the failure does. It's terrible. Like mentally it's terrible. Squish you, it's awful, but then you grow from it. And I think once you continuously do it, you continue to take action and then you see where you fail and you start to succeed. The mental anguish of it, the hard part of the actual feelings of it, it gets easier. Not in that it doesn't feel the same, but you recognize that feeling as growth. You start to look at it and you're like, oh, I'm growing Maybe a little sarcastically at first. Yeah. But then. You can say, oh, this is only gonna last for about a day or two, and then I get to see what's on the other side that I'm growing from and learning from and understanding about myself. But you don't get there unless you start. The action is what gets you to the successes and the failures. So many of us are so nervous about failing that we don't start. I love future thinking, obviously manifestation and things like that, and my friend Crystal, who owns a yoga studio down the road from me. She was talking about how she's always wanted to open this yoga studio. It's never been the right time, but she had a friend who had passed away from cancer and she had always wanted to open a yoga studio. This friend who had passed away. So she's like, I'm not gonna let that be me. I'm not gonna not do something and let it be too late. And so she did it, and I think that's really what, you know as far as a DHD goes. There's so much that can be inhibiting. And then when you start to realize that you have control over so much of what you decide to do in this world, just by taking a tiny action instead of trying to conquer the world in a day, which we want. Which really comes from a dysregulated state. It's that fight or flight type of situation. But when you start to take these tiny actions, you see how far it can lead you. Absolutely. we don't talk about it much. I feel like I've had my own little evolution with it. I love that. but you recently did a room swap where mm-hmm. We're in one room and you were in Rex's room where he plays. Mm-hmm. And then you decided to swap rooms, which is where you're at right now. Mm-hmm. But when I asked you, I was like, well, what's the vision in each room? Have you thought about what you truly want each room to be? And you were like, oh. So how did that change the way that you went about that? Just kind of knowing what you wanted, or did you put more thought into what you wanted at the end of it? So before we even started, after we'd had that conversation, I. Sat down with Jen and I was like, let's talk about this. Which is so different than like the logistics of actually navigating a room switch. Um, and I think just right off the jump, it just helped to like regulate us both to just think about a feeling instead of, all the work that was gonna have to happen, which was just kind of creating this tension. Uh, so we did, we thought about it, like what we wanted to be and what we didn't want it to be, and. it was a really helpful exercise in making sure that this space, which is now like my office is in here, we call it the den now. now the whole old living room is his playroom, and it's still unfolding. We're still figuring out what that looks like. But now this is the adult room. there's like a tiny toddler chair over there, but that's it, it's so nice to just have a space that after he goes to bed, we come in here and we just feel like we're not gonna step on a Lego. That's so nice. And that was the intention, a lot of people, when I ask them that question, they're like, I have no idea what I want. I just don't want this. And it's like, okay, you don't want this. That's the start, but now what do you want? We just expect life to happen to us. Like one day I'll figure it out. I should know how to organize, so I might as well, one day do it. And it's the difference between just surviving, right? A room swap and then like thriving in a room swap, right? even just thinking a little more about what you want, it feels like such a luxury when you're a parent. Like, what do I want? Just checking in with that I think was really good for us. Tell us a little bit about your passion projects right now. What are you doing aside from, building websites and being creative and helping? Seemingly organized A DHD entrepreneurs build their dreams too. this whole idea of leaning into who I authentically am and just being myself, I'm trying to figure out how can I fit the rest of me, which doesn't even involve the websites into my brand. And really the biggest way is. This blog that I am going to be launching soon and hopefully whenever, I don't know how long episodes take to, to do all the things to come out, but I'm gonna set it up, for the first kind of blog to release in the next couple of days. And it's free, but, the blog is deeply personal and, it's called Mind Your Queer Mama. So it's a take on my business, but really the intersection of motherhood and entrepreneurship and a DHD and there's no way to just tear'em apart. They will always exist together. so it's a little bit, I wouldn't say it's tips and tricks, but there might be some like little nuggets in there, of wisdom. so that's one thing I'm working on. Then I'm also just really trying to Expand some of my offerings for, I call them Entrepre-not-sures for folks who are like maybe right on the edge and aren't ready for a website, they don't even know exactly what. But they know that they're tired of, of doing the nine to five thing. I wouldn't call it business coaching, it's not that. but really I just, it's just to help with a little bit of self clarity. I'm doing a lot of work around, archetypes and doing some archetype, readings for entrepreneur to help them see which version of themselves they're stepping forward. which mask are we, either putting on, taking off, which one do we need to let go of? And I think archetypes do a really wonderful job of helping with pattern recognition and, just like a little more with self-acceptance when we can understand and name this part that's coming out right now. first of all the name Eentrepre-not-sure. Freaking brilliant. I absolutely love that and I love what you're doing. I love the blog. I was talking to someone the other day. if you're following me on my email journey, I love writing, I love speaking, I love, expressing myself. This is such a beautiful way to do it, to, start to really understand who you are and just by sharing your journey, whether there's tips or tricks or anything, it's just about knowing that you're not alone in this journey. When you and your wife are raising this beautiful, incredible little boy, and you are not only an entrepreneur, but you are an excellent mom. Just the way that you prioritize being there for your son and. helping him live his best life and just teaching him, you make these incredible sensory boxes that are like my side project. It's so fun and you have a creative ability in so many other ways than just what you're doing. And I think that so many of us, we've got these great ideas, but you are taking action on so many of these great ideas, and it's so cool to see you blooming and blossoming into this version of you that is you. It's just you. You're not showing up for anyone else, aside from, of course, your wife and Rex, but you're showing up for you and truly being yourself as you promote your business, and I love your business name. Because you're attracting who you want to work with, but you also work with so many heterosexual clients. Yeah. I feel like most of my clients right now are, are very heterosexual. It's all about being a really intentional and fierce ally. I work with all kinds of people, just don't be a jerk. If there's one thing I've never had, any shame over it is being queer. I came out really early. there was no weird oh, like religion or there was just, I never had anything to lose by being out. Yeah. Thankfully it's a privilege to say that. So I'm happy to put it on my, the name of my business. Especially if it deters people, from clicking, let's connect. It helps, it really does, to just thin things out a little bit. But I work with everybody, Just no jerks. Yeah. No hate. No hate, just like really, well-intentioned, aligned folks. I love that. That's really cool. All right. We're gonna drop all of your contact information in the show notes below. Is there anything else you'd like to share? You know, it's been such a. Pleasure and such a journey to just be, I call it, in my business, I call it co-creating. Like when I work with clients, we co-create. It's not like a here, let me do this for you. It's always this collaboration and working together. And I do feel like we have a really, really good connection and it's more rare than you think to find someone who is like that, who can just be genuine like I want you to do. Well, you think they would just be all around, but it's, it's not. so I appreciate you so much. I want you do. And, I'm excited to see how things continue to grow. And y'all, if you're not on circle yet, like if you have it, find the thing. you gotta just try it out and just be part of the little fun party. there's memes. Come join. Yeah. Come to our party. Don't scroll on Instagram. come do something better. thanks for joining us. This was such a fun conversation. My love. I can't wait. So fun. Let people see what we do. We do this every week. We just sit here and we talk about, we usually have some filters on because we have to keep it to business. But this has been so lovely and I can't wait till you're back on the east coast. We're gonna have a hangout sometime. Absolutely. Yeah. I can't wait. I had so much fun recording this episode with Amanda, and there were a couple things that I took away that I wanted to share with you. And remember, as any episode goes, taking one thing away is okay. It's okay that you'd never come back to this episode. Even if there was something that you really wanted to hear, you will continue to seek the information that you want and you'll continue to take away new things. One thing I really loved about her discovery and her A DHD diagnosis was just permission to be herself. That she didn't have to conform to what other people or what she thought other people needed her to be. She was allowed to just show up as herself. And I think a lot of us, if we are people pleasers in any way, are continuing to learn that that is okay, that it's okay to start small. That actually the smaller you start, the easier it is. The teeny, tiniest action in the direction of you being more organized is huge. That can be as simple as going to your spice cabinet and throwing out an old spice that is expired, and what a great excuse to get one thing outta the spice cupboard. We also had a really awesome conversation about tools and this month in the membership we're talking about tools and it has been so fun. So first I wanna highlight what Amanda said. She talks about how when she's seeking a tool for a quick fix, it's not gonna work. But when she's seeking a tool to learn, that's when she knows it's gonna be a good fit. Part of this is we're looking for something to do in the moment and it's like that dopamine hit, that impulsivity that comes up. That's often something that correlates with A DHD. But on the other side, if we're making a conscious decision on what we wanna do next and we know what's gonna fit into our lives and we're looking to learn more, that's where we know it's gonna help us. And then this month, because we've been working on this in the community and I'm cleaning out everything, I found my old Fitbit and I decided to charge it up and I put it on my wrist. I didn't like the way that it felt, so I switched it to the other side'cause that's what my husband suggested. And then I watched a video. On how to use it, and I was wearing it wrong. So now I've been using it for weeks because I watched a video on how to use it. Now there's still elements of it that I'm not taking advantage of, but I really like seeing how much movement I have during the day. It's keeping me very aware and motivated to do more. Also, we both love YNA, I couldn't recommend it more. And I put the link to it down in the show notes below. Another thing she mentioned about organizing was just surviving through it versus thriving through it. And there are a lot of differences that come up when it comes to organizing. We could survive through it by emptying a closet in a weekend and try to put it back together, or we could thrive through it. By understanding how we could fit little, small, incremental bites of organizing into our day to make small changes throughout time, because let's be honest, if you're doing it in a weekend, it's not lasting. Right. There's a reason why you're listening to this because you're seeking more, and that is not the way to do it. I've done it. I did it a lot, actually too many times to count, and now I have a podcast telling you not to do it. You're still gonna do it, honestly, you are. But the more you do that, but then also start to do these little bite size incremental organizing things, you'll start to realize how beneficial it is to do smaller things. This month in the community, like I said, we're talking about tools. Next month we are talking about digital file clean out, and then the following month We are gonna be talking about planning routines as school is up and coming. Oh my gosh, I can't believe we're only two months away, which is so crazy. on June 25th, 12:00 PM Mountain Standard Time or 2:00 PM Eastern Time, I'm going to be giving a presentation on tools that come back from the graveyard and why we handle tools, the way that we do some different perspectives on things, and kind of just revisiting some of the tools that you've used before and if they really have fit into your life or why they didn't. So we have a really good conversation about that coming up if you're ready to join the community. Go to the show notes below, click on the link, join the community, and sign up, and we'll see you there. The next event is this Saturday we have a body doubling decluttering session we're decluttering together, we're getting rid of things, we're having conversations about letting go, and we're doing it together, which is a proven A DHD technique. The community closes at the end of June, So if you're ready to join join now. Otherwise, your next opportunity won't be until the fall of 2025. Don't forget to check in with yourself to ask how you're doing, and I will see you next week.