ADHD at Work Doesn't Have to Mean Struggling in Silence with Meghan Brown-Enyia

Meghan Brown-Enyia is an ADHD coach, social worker, and the founder of ADHD at Work. Diagnosed with ADHD later in life, she brings 15+ years of experience in HR, nonprofit leadership, and social work — plus her own lived experience — to help individuals and organizations better support neurodiverse employees. She specializes in executive function strategies, workplace accommodations, and helping people stop masking and start thriving. You can find her practical, solutions-focused content all over the internet and in your new favorite corner of the ADHD community.

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If you've ever felt like your ADHD brain doesn't belong in a professional environment — this episode is for you.

Megs sits down with her friend Meghan Brown-Enyia, ADHD coach and founder of ADHD at Work, to talk about what it really looks like to navigate a career with ADHD. From late diagnosis to masking at work, asking for accommodations, and finding your people in the ADHD community — this conversation goes deep and keeps it real.

Meghan shares her own journey of being diagnosed after years working in special education, and how she turned her MSW background and HR expertise into a coaching practice that supports both employees and the companies they work for. They also get into the "messy middle" — what it means to be a work in progress, embrace imperfection, and build a life that actually works for your brain.

Whether you're looking for an ADHD coach, trying to figure out how to ask for workplace accommodations, or just want to feel less alone in this — pull up a chair.

Topics covered: late ADHD diagnosis, ADHD in the workplace, ADHD coaching, executive function strategies, workplace accommodations, disclosure at work, psychological safety, masking, ADHD community, rest and burnout, organization systems, habit stacking.

1:24 Late ADHD diagnosis

4:30 Asking for accommodations

7:12 Unmasking at work

9:33 Showing up authentically online

13:46 Rest without shame

15:14 Social media and business

17:58 Service vs. income

20:55 Workplace coaching ROI

22:20 The messy middle workbook

23:35 Conference goals mindset

27:20 Owning the messy middle

29:40 Ask for support systems

31:00 Slow down strategically

33:37 Digital, mental, and physical order

38:59 Rules and habit stacking at home

42:30 Stop the 'should' timeline

44:36 Where to find Meghan

Would you like to learn more about hiring Megs as your ADHD coach? Start here> The Perfect Place to Start

The Community is OPEN! Join right here: Organizing an ADHD Brain

You can also learn more about the community HERE> OrganizinganADHDBrain.com

Transcript

Late ADHD Diagnosis

From Social Work to HR

Asking for Accommodations

Disclosure and Safety at Work

Unmasking at Work

Showing Up Authentically Online

Life Beyond the Struggle

Rest Without Shame

Social Media and Business

Service vs. Income

Workplace Coaching ROI

The Messy Middle Workbook

Conference Goals Mindset

Owning the Messy Middle

Ask for Support Systems

Slow Down Strategically

Digital, Mental, and Physical Order

Rules and Habit Stacking at Home

Stop the Should Timeline

Where to Find Meghan

Audio Only - All Participants 0:39

I'm so excited to introduce you to my friend Meghan. We met probably over a year and a half ago. She had reached out to me on Instagram and I was so excited'cause she had over 10,000 followers and I was like, what? You want me to be on a live with you? I was so honored and we did, we had a really cool conversation and since then We've kept in touch about the A DHD world, what's going on, and I'm really grateful to have you as a friend. Welcome to the podcast. I can't wait to talk to you. Thank you so much for having me. your expertise is A DHD at work. So Megan is an A DHD coach. She's also a DHD at work on Instagram. We're gonna talk about the messy middle, but first tell us a little bit about your A DHD story and how you got into the work that you're doing now. Sure. So where does my a d ADHD story begin? I feel it probably starts along before I was actually diagnosed, but I was a late diagnosed as most women are these days. you know, millennials and Gen Xers are getting all diagnosed right now because our kids are getting diagnosed. And so I was working for early childhood Special Education for probably over 10 years before I even got diagnosed, right. So I'm working for a center that it's one job is to diagnose kids. Developmental delays or other areas of disability and, and supports that they may need. Right. And so every day I'm working with psychologists, with occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech and language pathologist. And then I have a graduate degree in social work. And it did not dawn onto me that I actually had a d ADHD myself. And,, once I realized that there's something else going on I contacted my provider and was like, Hey, I need to get tested. And I, one thing about my story though, that I do wanna recognize, and I wanna point out that I feel a little bit privileged and I wanna acknowledge my privilege for being able to get an a, a diagnosis for A DHD quickly and without. Like I didn't have to go back and forth with my providers about why I was suspecting this. there wasn't an argument. It was just like, oh, you think you have adhd? Sure. Let's schedule an appointment to Get tested. Sure. Here's your results. There you go. And so it was very easy and straightforward for me. And I recognized that is a privilege because that is not everyone's story. And I don't want people to believe that. you can walk into the situation and think that it's gonna be easy.'cause a lot of the times it's not. But I just happen to be in an area where providers listen. So, and that's a blessing in a lot of ways. so after I got diagnosed, my whole world just kind of opened up and I was already at a place where I was looking to pivot my career. And I really wanted to specialize in HR and so in HR work. I was in a management position at the center, so I was working with a lot of our staff that were also struggling with A DHD and some other disabilities too. And so, you know, connecting with our HR departments and getting them resources and what they needed and I just really felt like there was a disconnect between what companies were providing their employees versus what supports they were expecting their employees to provide to their customers or their clients, And I'm like, yes, our families and our kids need the support, but so do our staff. They're also people, they're also. Adults that are struggling in this particular work environment. And they also need support and to ignore that, but then expect them to provide an excellent service to others just didn't make sense to me. And so I wanted to be able to dig deeper in that particular area. So in addition to the MSW work which is a really strong foundation like mental health and then adding the certifications and expertise and work experience in hr. So I just kind of combined it all and then adding my own diagnosis to the mix. So I just created a company outta that. And you've said you've done some really beautiful work. You held workshops, you hold live sessions, and it's really just about encouraging people to find what works for them. And I worked with a client a little while ago, on organization, right? We're focusing more on the home life. But she had mentioned that she was nervous to find accommodations at work or even submit for accommodations at work because she didn't want it to be an excuse. She didn't wanna use her ADHD as an excuse for not doing something or doing something when at the same time, it's not an excuse. It's more about understanding what you need and being able to ask for it so that work becomes a little bit easier. Can you talk to that? Sure. Like I truly believe this statement of ADHD is not an excuse, but it is an explanation and there's no reason for you to struggle. So if you are struggling, you can get supports and then you have. Some legal backing currently, even though it's currently under attack. fair enough? Yes. and cases are still winning and so like you have the supports, the legal support to be able to ensure that you have access to services. Now I understand fully the discomfort with disclosing in the workplace.'cause that can sometimes be a part of the process, right? And then, you know your work environment better than anybody else. And you know, whether or not this discriminatory practices what happening within your office and being fearful of that and retaliation and like lack of understanding, like those are all valid feelings and honestly happen within the workplaces, right? And so HR is going to protect the company first. and discriminatory cases are filed. Regularly. But at the same time, if you are working for an organization that is very supportive, and I know many, I work with several organizations that are extremely supportive of their staff and really want to ensure that they're positioned to be able to do their best work then you can get the supports that you need. And then also there's a ton of other additional supports that you don't actually need to even communicate to your employer about to ensure that you're not positioning yourself to struggle at work with A DHD. Yeah, that's beautiful. I had a friend of mine who was on the podcast. Her and I were managers together in the corporate world, and I remember when she got diagnosed and she came into a team meeting and told all of us, and I looked at my leader to see what he was going to do or say, And it felt awkward. It felt so awkward. I talked to her. Probably about a year later. Mm-hmm. And she said she would never disclose her a DHD at work again. It was something that she now understands that, was not safe for her to do in that environment, but it was really interesting to hear her trying to figure out how to proceed. Yeah. It's all about whether or not you feel safe. that's a big part of it. That's huge. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Safety creates trust. And trust allows you to be yourself and to ask for what you need so that you can show up as your true self, which is a beautiful thing when you have a DHD and you may have been people pleasing your entire life to get by And all you want as a A DH ADHD is like to be able to be your authentic self and to not wear the mask. but the reality is, is. Not all if society is ready. Yeah. Yeah. For everyone to be unmasked. And I mean, I remember having this conversation with my director, this is before I even had my own A DHD diagnosis, and he just really wanted me to be my 100% authentic self. And I kept telling him, I said, no, you don't. And know my social worker hat was like, you are not ready for this. Like, you are not ready for the 100% Megan. Like I, I promise you. And I'm like, I've done an assessment. Yeah. And like, it was a kind of a back and forth. He's like, I really want you to be authentic. And I'm like, Hmm. I was like, I really don't think you do. I was like, we can try it out though. I was like, if you want me to try it out, we can try it out and then you can tell me whether or not you need me to scale it back. it was a very interesting conversation around what does it look like to be authentic within the workplace? And, you know, when you, when you put the A DHD hat on or perspective in putting it to the forefront, it is really hard to be able to do that within the workplace, especially if you. Have masks for so long, like even just being able to take it off is difficult. Yeah. I notice that with my clients. I see it because they want to do so well. And then they're in the first couple weeks and they're just trying to show up and do the best that they possibly can. And then it finally comes to that time where they're not at quote unquote, their best. And they come to me and they're like, you've now seen me. You see the real name and you understand who I am. And it has been such a gift for me to grow through this space and to be in spaces where people accept me at my very best and at my very worst. And I get to show up no matter what with people loving me the whole time, which has been very interesting to see that. But it is through. Trial and error and understanding where your safe spaces are to actually do that. It's not like you can do it overnight. You have to truly practice to understand what you're comfortable with too, because it is a whole process. I've actually been, having these internal conversations or talking to myself about safety too, and whether or not, like, do you wait until the space feels safe or do you force it to be safe? I've been thinking about this in the context of social media personally and showing up authentically in the social media space. I've been trying to figure out where I'm landing there. And so I've been looking at and studying the way that other people have been. Presenting themselves on social media and maybe it's just the psychologist brain of mine. And just thinking about, you know, how do I wanna show up? And like, the differences between people, just like, listen, this is who I am, and if you don't like it, then you don't have to follow me and keep it moving. Versus other people that are putting on kind of a, performance. And you don't really know where people stand. And differences between the following, the feedback, the comments, and whether or not you just show up as your authentic self and then allow the world itself to filter. Or are you trying to filter it intentionally or are you allowing it's like the world itself to filter kind of thing. Like, you know, when you like, be your most authentic self, the people that don't need to be in your world find a way to disappear. And so I've been thinking about that in the context of social media too. I'm doing this because I'm also seeing a lot of content on social media and just in the world. And we talk a lot about the challenges and the problems and the struggles, but we're not always getting to. The solutions and or the strengths also. My hope is that people are seeing this content, and they believe that they can actually do something about it, and they can get the support that they need and they can accomplish the goals that they wanna accomplish. They can clearly identify what those things are in the first place, right? They can bring clarity to their life. They can have positive relationships, they can have positive experiences at work. They can keep their job, they can find a career path that they actually want to be on, like they can live a life with joy. All those things are possible. And so, it's hard sometimes when you just see the ADHD struggles all the time. It's like, ha ha, ha ha. but behind all of that, are your bills getting paid? Like, are you going to work and not being sad? Are you having arguments with your supervisor that you don't necessarily need to be having? Are you on performance improvement plans that you can get off of? And so, those struggles are real, It's worth the solutions. I find myself comparing to some of these reels that I see sometimes that highlight the struggle. And because I've implemented so many tools in my own life, I don't see myself there anymore. Mm-hmm. And then it's like this weird internal dialogue. Well, I'm not A DHD enough anymore because I've actually worked on this. And then I'm like, what is that that I'm telling myself? Like saying it out loud sounds insane. But it is because there's so much that we can do. It's just that now, because there's so much noise, so much information out there, it is hard to know where to start. I'm using that in quotes because it's more about understanding how to continue, what is one step I could take toward the most interesting thing right now, So that I can start to understand how to make a difference in my life. I appreciate you saying that though, because I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Yeah. And it's, and then in the context, like, you know, on the business side of like thinking about social media too, or just like marketing communications and marketing communications is not my strength for myself. Like showing like get the hell outta something for somebody else. But you know, there's not a lot of emotional attachment to it. Right. It's cleaning your room versus cleaning somebody else's room. Yeah. But, what was I gonna say? But on the business side of it, it's thinking about, What you just said about, not feeling like a DHD enough, right? And then thinking about, how everybody's kind of talking about the struggle, but like, you know, those are also marketing tactics, right? but then it does feel like a disconnect because it is like, okay, well. Do I even know how to speak to the struggle anymore because I'm not necessarily experiencing it. I see it all the time. Yeah. But because you put tools in place, like there are certain things that you just don't struggle with as much anymore. Or if you are struggling with it, like you don't necessarily feel the same level of shame or guilt because of it. You're just like, oh, well this is an A DH ADHD day. Mm-hmm. like yesterday. Yesterday I was not as productive as I would have liked to be, but at the same time, I recognized that my body needed rest, and rest is also a priority. And so now I'm not complaining or feeling guilty or shaming myself because I'm taking a 15 minute nap. When that's what my body needed and 15 minutes really turned into an hour and a half. But that's also okay. I'm like, oh, that was okay, because that's what my body needed at the time, and I feel better. And because I feel better, the next hour and a half is going to be way more productive. I know that if I take that moment of rest because rest is a priority, I'm listening to my body. When I wake up, I know that I can get right into work. I can be more productive than I would've been if I'm just trying to force myself to work through it. Right? And so, but before accessing coaching for myself, before learning a little bit more about A DHD before digging deeper into the neurobiology and neuroscience and a DHD, like I was feeling guilty about that. I had a lot of shame about needing to rest and to take a break. And it was like, rest, who does that? You just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. It's not how life is supposed to be. And when the whole world around you, it's like, no. we're all measured by our productivity, right? And if we're not productive then what are we worth? That's a lot of the time what society tells us. coming back to the social media thing, I thought I needed to have a big following, right? I thought I needed to figure that out and then it would be okay. Except I've now realized that I wanna slow down a little bit in my own business so that I can get ahead in other ways. And I realize that social media doesn't need to be a part of my world as I do that. In fact, sometimes I delete all of my social media for weeks at a time because it allows me to come back to what I'm doing and not get distracted by everything that I'm seeing. But you really do have to pause and analyze what is your purpose and how are you drawing people in? And I finally, at first I was like, oh my gosh, there's so many incredible people making all of these incredible videos. But that takes a lot of time. So much time. so I've been posting on threads a little bit more because it's just been easier to just Write a couple of sentences and try to get information out there than it is to making sure that I'm doing the filming correctly, making sure that I'm editing, making sure that I'm finding the right soundtrack that goes along with it. Making sure that there's a caption that also goes along with it. if I wanna have a quick conversation about time management or values, within my own group where, we meet on, on Mondays this past Monday we are talking about values and then I can then just go to threads and just kind of reiterate some content that we discussed during the coaching program around. And they just share this information versus if I'm trying to do it on Instagram, it's like, okay, well, do I wanna do an infographic or do I wanna do a reel? And I'm doing, either one has to involve taking the content, putting in some type of imagery, adding pictures, or putting some type of infographic, fonts, colors, like all of these decisions that have to be made. And, as a business owner, it's also, I feel some type of way about not utilizing the tools that I have access to, to increase revenue. at the end of the day, yes, I'm serving people, but I also have my own bills to pay. this is My full-time, this is my full-time gig. I may be privileged to be able to get an ADHD diagnosis. Yeah. But I'm not privileged to be able to just sit at home and do whatever I want and expect my mortgage to be paid, right? And so that's one of my goals for 2026 is to be able to find that right balance between. Understanding that this is a business and knowing also that this is a way to communicate resources and serve too. So it's like, I wanna serve you, but I also need to, like, there's a thin line. I'm still prioritizing service. But partnership is really important too. I think that's so interesting. I've noticed this in myself too. I believe that part of it is how we grew up understanding that. A woman's work is often unpaid. Right? And we need to sacrifice ourselves in order to help others. I'm part of the PTO right now, which I really love and it's actually helping me practice boundaries around how I can show up and how much free, you know, me time I can get. But it's also really great'cause I'm making friends and, and they tuned into the podcast, which I'm so honored about. But it's this idea that. We as women should be giving everything away. But now, as business owners, we have to be very strategic because if we wanna see our business grow and we want to continue to provide the work that we do, yes, we do absolutely need to get paid because life continues to get more expensive. Yeah. So you tag on like being a woman, having a DHD also, like I'm an educator. I worked in education for practically my entire career. I'm like, I'm still working in education to a certain extent. I work with universities doing coaching for students and staff. and then also social worker, right? There's all these service driven industries that I work in, and then it's the business part. And so it's finding that balance. Because if I could just give it all away, I would, If I didn't need to. Ensure that my kid had a solid education, that he had a roof over his head, that we had clothes on our back and we had food that we needed to eat that was nutritious, that wasn't going to position us in a way that would end up with additional health problems. I don't want that. I need to prioritize my own health, the health of my family, the health of my marriage, the health of my son also, and also ensure that I'm serving. But if I could have all of that, like we talking about the misel, like this is a hierarchy of needs. Like, come on. Like this is generally Stuff. And, but if I was in a position where all of the basic stuff was taken care of and being able to just offer free things, I mean, I probably would, right? Like I have a heart of service and giving, it's hard when you know that you need to roll it back so that you make sure. That you are covered first. Yeah. But you know, there's also business principles like pay yourself first and that kind of thing. Yeah. And you mentioned the health of everything. It's the health of your business too. And what's interesting is we do offer so many free resource. Like this podcast is free, right? And your live sessions on Instagram are free. Your Instagram content is free. Whatever we put out there is free. And then most of us have free resources on our websites so that you can begin to get the health that you need. And then to be able to work one-on-one with an A DHD coach, that's also a privilege, right? To have the ability to spend money on that and to understand that that's something you can do. But then there's also communities. There's communities that are a lot less or you could get your work to start to pay for something like this or your HSA card. I've had clients use their HSA card for an a DH ADHD coach before. Same. and that's why I partner with a lot of organizations too, so that their employees can get access to supports, right? Like it's a win-win for companies too. It is more expensive to fire and higher than it is to just educate and support the people that are working for you already. Yeah. And the data is already there and like, I don't know why people keep denying the fact that this is true, but it's true. So providing your staff and your employees with coaching specific around A DHD and like your direct employees, but then also their managers. I personally, I like to add a line item within the contract around like allowing some time and some space for us to have a group conversation around this because it doesn't matter what kind of additional supports that I, that I bring, if the manager who has more impact on an employee's mental health than their healthcare providers do, it's important for that manager to fully understand like, what does it look like to lead. A team of Neurodiverse employees so that you're not doing things that are having a negative impact on them. Because otherwise, if I'm just spending one-on-one time with your direct employees and all, we're talking about is trying to navigate the challenges that they're experiencing with the direct manager, it's like, okay, well there's only so much you can do if you have somebody constantly triggering you. you're gonna have to get away from the trigger. No, that makes a lot of sense. I wanted to pivot'cause we talked about this really awesome story that you shared with me. I think it was back in December and I remember that week just continuing to think about it. It was on my mind and I thought you were so brave for how you experienced this situation. So we were talking about the messy middle, and I'm like, tell me a story about the messy middle and how you conquered it. So can you tell us about your book? Sure. So I am putting together this workbook to help support people create their own accommodations to help support them at work, right? It's walking you through your own journey to understand like what your weaker executive functions are, and then also what accommodations you can ask for your employer versus what accommodations you can just kind of put into place for yourself. And so it's a workbook designed to walk you through this process so that you can develop a own set of strategies and accommodations that you can either just implement yourself or you can take with when, if you're working with a coach, be like, listen, I was working on these things. And what are your thoughts around like these strategies and why does this work? Why doesn't this work? Et cetera. And so. I make all these goals for myself and these professional goals to kind of put myself out there as a business owner and to do all these amazing things, right? And so I attend an annual conference for A DHD, and since the first year that I went, I think I've been four years in a row, I've created this goal to kind of push myself, to move forward. So I went as an attendee for two years, and then I was like, you know what? The next time I come, I'm gonna present. And they have these little stickers like, you know, that you can add to your name tag. And one of'em was like, I'm gonna presenter. I said, I'm just gonna take all of these little stickers and just declare that I'm all of these things. Like I'm a speaker, I'm all of these things, right? I'm a presenter. I am a leader in this particular field. and so the next year I presented, like I submitted some proposals. I presented, I led a, conversation around. Working remote with adhd and like what that looks like. I also led a support group for entrepreneurs with A DHD at this conference. And so then I was like, okay, well how am I gonna beat this? And so the next year I was like, I'm gonna write a book. I'm gonna be in the bookstore, I'm gonna be at a book signing. I'm gonna do all these things. and then I draft all this content, I put it all together, and I submit the application, like, I'm like, I want to be sitting at this table to be doing a book signing. I'm telling all these people at this conference and I wanna do all these things. And so they're like, great, sure, no problem. Like you can have a book in the bookstore. And part of it was like, there's not a lot of content around A DHD and work in these places. but it's something that literally everyone struggles with because everybody works. And, I wanted to be able to support that particular angle and hit that particular angle in this space. I was also, there's very few women of color also that are presenting books and knowledge not only just at the A DH ADHD conference in general, but then also definitely in the bookstore, right? So there's a lot of diversity there too. So I'm like, oh listen, you are gonna see my little brown face at this bookstore. You're gonna love it. but then the deadline's creeping up and so I'm like, okay, well now I have to finish this book, this content. And I'm like, oh, I really need to send it to an editor in order for it to be done. this timeline is creeping up faster and faster. I am not accounting for toddler life and toddler time and just energy expenditure around literally everything that's going in my life. And then my mom passed away, there was just a lot going on in order for me to, make this book come into life. before this conference. And so then I email them, I'm like, listen, this book is not gonna be printed in order for me to sell it at this one. This book isn't gonna be done, first of all, it's not gonna be done and then it's not gonna be printed. And in order for me to sit at this table to do this book signing, they were like, well, do you, I'm like, I can. I'm like, I have a QR code and I have a website that's like, you can do a presale. And they're like, well, if you wanna still come, you can. I'm like, okay. And so I go to this conference, I'm sitting at this book signing, there's no book. And so like people are like walking around, you know, all these emails come out that are sending to thousands of people saying that I'm at this book signing, I'm walking around the conference and people are like, oh yeah, aren't you having a book signing? And I'm like, I'm having a fake book signing book. in. Retrospect, would I do this at other conferences? Probably not. But like an A DHD conference where it's just all around like acceptance and everybody gets it and you don't have to explain yourself. I felt comfortable enough and safe enough to be like, fuck it. Like it is what it is, and I'm just gonna show up and then I can talk to people about it. I can still have conversations around ADHD and work and what it looks like, the struggles, the accommodations, like the process to help support people. So I'm just gonna do it. And so, people are like, oh, you're gonna be at the book signing. I'm like, yep. Like, just to let you know, there is no book. I was like, however you can scan this QR code. You can sit here and talk to me about, you know, whatever needs that you wanna talk about. And I'll make it happen for you eventually when this book gets done. I love that. Yeah, it was such an interesting experience.'cause you know, I just swallowed my own pride and recognized that I don't have to be perfect and I don't have to show up perfectly. And if I don't have it, I don't have it. yeah. But I will and you will get it. And this is still a goal of mine, and I am putting in my own accommodations in place in order to ensure that I can support myself appropriately to get this done. and so yeah, that's my messy middle story. I love it. as you're sitting here talking, and as I've known you, I see you one day having multiple books and multiple published, things, a New York bestselling author, whatever your dreams are. And oftentimes we, again, see these people and all of their accomplishments and then start to judge ourselves. But what's cool about understanding the messy middle is that in order to get to all of those books and to get to all of the quote unquote success that you see on the outside is the journey along the way. Mm-hmm. And how cool is it that your first book signing was without a damn book? And it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it just didn't exist in, the real reality of this world yet. But that is part of your journey to help you teach yourself what you need to continue to grow. And I, I just, I thought it was so powerful that you could share that. And thank you. Because I know that you shared on Instagram about that experience too, and that like, what a gift it is to not only be able to show up at an A DHD conference and be accepted for that.'cause everyone was like, yeah, that's pretty cool, right? Like that was the first thought. I wasn't like, wow, how dare you not have a book. It was, that's pretty badass that you showed up How freaking cool. I'm just really proud of you. Yeah. I mean, I could have just, I could have not shown up to the whole conference. I decided that. I just needed to be authentic and I needed to be honest. And this is an important lesson for me, but also for others that have a book that they want to write and they feel stuck and they feel like it needs to be perfect before they can talk about it. And it's like, nope, it doesn't have to be perfect. you can walk imperfectly and still be successful and still get this book done. And that means I need supports. That means I need to tag somebody in, into this process to help facilitate some of the areas where I just feel like I'm getting stuck. Right? And so this isn't the time for me to isolate. This is the time for me to ask for support. Oh, I like that a lot. I wrote down need supports. Because oftentimes when we get to the point that we are getting burnt out, right? Or it's all coming in from multiple directions, we try to push harder. And instead of pushing harder, you actually need. People that can tell you what you could do next to help you truly understand how you could slow down to make this work, right? Or what else needs to be sacrificed in order for this to become a priority? Because oftentimes we are speeding up, but we're speeding up because we've got 80 things raining down on us and we can't even pause for long enough to say, I'm gonna leave these 79 things over here for just a moment. And we also, what did I write down the other day? It's like we're thinking, I feel like I had this conversation in a group, and also it was like part of this sermon on Sunday, but it's like operating outta scarcity or operating outta fear and you just feel like, well if I don't do all of this right now, then it's never gonna get done. Or I'm just so scared to not be able to pay my mortgage that I'm just going to do everything. And skip some really important steps. and just to connect this, because I work in a DH ADHD work and I've just been thinking about this a lot too. I talk to a lot of people that are like trying to do career pivots or just career changes and or just hate their job and are quitting and looking for a new one. And this job market right now is horrible. There's a new strategy and a new approach this really started last year, maybe even the year before, but the approach to hiring isn't applying to 15,000 jobs. It's trying to identify maybe the one to 10 that you actually wanna do, slow down a little bit and be more strategic. and I say all that, just to bring it full circle, is that it is so important to not rush. And to make strategic decisions when you are planning and just being intentional about what it is that you're doing so that you're not skipping steps and that you're not operating in fear and scarcity because that's what's gonna get you in trouble. Yeah, that makes sense. that's where our dysregulated brain comes in, right? Mm-hmm. When we, the more we get dysregulated and just to highlight of course you didn't write a book when your mom passed away and you're taking care of a toddler son, right? But like, we don't look back on that and say, wow, that took a lot of time. Of course, I didn't write a book. We just started to beat ourselves up instead of taking that into consideration. But grief is incredibly dysregulating. big changes in your life are incredibly dysregulating, which means you're operating from this place of fear. And reaction instead of logical thinking, which we already have executive function difficulties. So of course, if we're not using our logical brain to make decisions, we're reacting just to keep ourselves safe. And oftentimes we think that speeding up is gonna do that, and it's just not the case. That's not, it's not. Yeah. And we all have learned. I remember when you and I first started chatting, you had hired a professional organizer, and now a year later, I saw you talking about this on your Instagram the other day about starting to just make small changes around your life in your own house. So how do you see yourself as an A DHD coach? Someone who focuses on work, but also as someone who runs a business? how do you consider yourself organized? It's funny because I'm partnering with this organization in New York around providing some workshops for their staff. And one of the areas that they all wanted to talk about, that I did a little bit of content development for them was around organization and the connection between organization actually working memory. Mm-hmm. And how because like some working memory challenges along with like planning a prioritization can disrupt your ability to be organized and then thinking about organization in multiple different contexts. So like your physical organization, your mental organization, and then also your, and then now in this new digital world, your digital organization Oh gosh. Yeah. It's a mess. And the impact that not having things. Organize has on your productivity. Yes. but also remembering that trying to tackle all of them at the same time is not helpful either. Mm-hmm. And so, thinking about, okay, what is going to be the most helpful right now? and then working on that and then maybe moving to another area of it, it feels like it's appropriate. And so when I think about myself as a business owner being organized, like, I try to, I prioritize my digital organization more than my physical organization. And then put strategies in place to help with the mental part of the organization too. so if I had to prioritize them, it was like digital, mental, and physical, and the digital organization is really important for me, especially since my entire business is virtual, right? and I have a. Toddler home most of the day. So if I'm trying to work on stuff, I need to be able to access it as quickly as possible, and I don't have time to just be trying to search for everything. Yeah. So like when things are not in place, whether or not it's in my email, what's in my files, what's in my Canva. Like I'm creating a lot of content in Canva, like in presentations in Canva. Like I need to be able to access that information as quickly as possible because I have limited time and I need to be able to just move from one step to the next without being distracted or dysregulated because I can't find something. Yeah. And so, my digital organization is more of a priority for me in the context of my business. so like, you know, when I was posting on social media, I think the physical organization is one of those things where. It's not that I like a hundred percent ignore it, right? because I know that having a cluttered physical space can also be very distracting and dysregulating in a lot of ways. But I also recognize too that it's not the top priority for me. and so I can make a decision, like if the clutter that's on my desk is bothering me to the point where it's becoming distracting, then I'll take a second and I'll put a little timer on and be like, okay, let's just clean this up really quickly so that I can move on to the next thing. Yeah. But if it's not, I'm just like, I have blinders on. Like it's, I'm ignoring and I'm just doing what I gotta do. and then I created like other systems so that it doesn't get too out of control. And so, because especially with like, toddlers and kids and toys and it's like, you know, the holiday season and you get all types of stuff. So like, after the holiday season, like I took a couple of hours and be like, okay, this toddler toy crap needs to be together because I can't. and so it's being intentional about like what you're gonna focus on when it comes to like, organization. So digital businesswise digital organization is extremely important. Extremely important in order for me to like function. And the physical organization kind of just like sits in the back burner. Like if I was seeing clients in person or like in my home, like a. psychologist or something like that, then, you know, physical organization would be more of a priority. But I'm like, ain't nobody over here anyway. And so if it's not disruptive, then I don't care. and then the mental organization part, it's, that's when I'm also studying for a licensure, right. For my social work license. And so that's like, okay, the mental piece is like, okay, how do I externalize some of what's happening in my brain so that I'm not feeling lost with trying to hold onto things. So that's when I'm having conversations with people, like I'm meeting with study groups. I am talking to chat. Bt like I'm trying to reduce the noise in my head so that I can. Fully articulate what it is I need to articulate or do what it is that I need to do. So putting some strategies in place to help with this, the challenges with A DHD and the mental part of the organization. So that you're not just like trying to grasp on concepts that aren't necessarily connected together. Does that make sense? Yeah. And it's perfect. And I love the term you use, externalize your brain. And I just wanna highlight that truly means like taking an appointment and putting it down on a calendar so you have permission to forget. So that you can truly move on with your life without trying to grasp and hold onto it, because your working memory is not that great. And the more you add to it, the more dysregulated you're gonna get, and the more chances are that you're literally gonna forget something, and then that is even more dysregulating. I really am grateful that you shared because it's morally neutral. It is literally just that you are focusing on other things. There are other things that are more important in your life right now than having a clear space. And you don't have to stop your life to do these things. You're still doing these things. nobody's house needs to look perfect. It just has to be good enough for you, and then you can continue to make progress. So I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah. And then there's particular spaces for me that are more important Than others, right? So like mutual living spaces are more important to me. Like having them organized because like, I'm not the only person that lives in this house. I'm not letting my dysfunction negatively impact other people that I'm living with either. And I'm like, that's a priority for me.'cause I don't wanna create a negative space. Like what, how I function in a, space has an impact on other people. And that's important to acknowledge and to recognize. And so making sure that I do, like, I tend to leave my headscarves like all over the house, but I will go and collect them all right? And put them on the stairs so that I know that like the next time I go upstairs I'll bring them up and I have certain rules that I put in place. Like if this stuff is going on in the bottom of the stairs and I know that it needs to go there, the next time I go upstairs it's all coming with me. Creating different rules and stuff like within the space. And then also like not comparing yourself to other people. Oh my God, yes. In-laws house. And their house is, like four times the size of our house too. Right. And like the refrigerator is three times the size of like our refrigerator. And they have all these like nicely nice like organizational things, like all like the little, you know, with things that you see on Instagram and Pinterest and like the things that spin and like the bins of containers and she has like all these rules and stuff around Yeah, like when to use what eggs. Right. And so like, and so I don't, but our refrigerator is a portion, like a percentage of that size and putting all of those organizational things in there just doesn't make sense for the space that we have. Sure it would be really nice to have a refrigerator that functions that way, but like, our refrigerator doesn't function that way. Like it doesn't even have the space in order for it to function that way. It's like not holding onto like that comparison piece and allowing you to feel and internalize that and feel a certain way because your refrigerator doesn't look immaculate and like, can I find the milk? Yes. so like when I know that if things start to get buried and we can't find stuff, so there's not like those rotting things that are in the back of the refrigerator because that always happens, that's when I build in time, like in my calendar to be like, okay, at least once a week I'm gonna go through. It's like, when we go grocery shopping, it's not really necessarily once a week.'cause I'm not that. Organized, but it's really like it's connected to another task that I'm already doing. I obviously have to put these groceries in the refrigerator. And so in order for me to do that, I need to rearrange, reorganize, clean out, that space. And so I tie, it's like, what do you call it? like habit tasking. Yes. Yes. Yes. And so it's like I already have a habit of going to the grocery store because we need groceries. And so I just add to the habit of like cleaning out the refrigerator around that same time. And so, habit stacking, that's also habit stacking and so yeah. So it's finding ways for it to work for you. so you have rules. You understand that comparison is the thief of joy. You understand that habit stacking works for you. You have something that you already do. So what can you tie that with? Like, when I think of this, I will do this. And I also wanna highlight like even if a magic fairy came into your home and put bins everywhere they needed to be and like labeled everything meticulously, you now have to adjust to a new way of living because that's overwhelming and that's change. And even if it looks really nice, it's not yours and it's not the way that you developed it in a way that could work for you and your family. Because there are different ways that we all live and we've gotta cater it to that. So yeah, what would you say to someone with A DHD, whether it's at work, whether it's organization, physical, digital to someone who says they, they felt like they should be further along at this point. says who, like, who is telling you that you need to be at a certain place and let's talk about the authority that you're giving that person. and are you okay with that? Them having that level of authority over your life and that level of control over your life and the level of impact that they're gonna be having on your emotions. Just because they said you should be doing X, Y, and Z. That's so beautiful. I freaking love it so much because sometimes that voice is you and those questions that you just asked gives you a space to say, wow, I'm really kind of rude. And like, yeah. Who am I to say that I need to be further along by now? Aren't I exactly where I need to be? I think I saw this post the other day this guy was talking about like living 40 years and like, you know, people getting at this place when they're like in their forties and they're like trying to better understand their lives and like, they're like, oh, I, and using that should wear, like, I should be so and so doing so and so by now. And then he was like, let's break this down one to 18. Like, let's be for real. Like you're, that's not the time and then your life that you're trying to like figure things out. Like you're still learning, you're still growing, your brains developing, honestly is really developing until like around 30 right? People talk about, like I've had 40 years to like figure it out. And it's no, you really haven't. Then you're like, 18 to 25, like, Hmm. I'm like not 18 to 30. Like you're still. I'm having fun, right? and then you're really not into your career maybe until like maybe mid twenties to like to forties, right? And so then it's really about what the next 40 years look like, not the 40 that just happens because so much developmentally is happening during that time. and now you're at a place where you're more aware of what everything is going on. You're healing, you're relearning, you're doing all of the things. And so now it's like, what does your next 40 years really look like and stop focusing on the previous 40. Heck yeah. I freaking love that. Well, I really appreciate you being on here. I where can people find you and is there anything that you wanna invite people into right now? sure. Yes, you can find me on pretty much all social media platforms at adhd, at work. and that's a DHD ATT WORK, and all platforms because I, just put my name on all of them and then dabble into all of them when I really focusing on one, but here nor there. whichever platform. Rocks your boat, then you can find me there. I'm mostly on Instagram and threads if you're actually looking to talk to me. right now I, have a couple of things going on. So I do one-on-one coaching for women with A DHD as well as I have a group coaching program and so for women for A DHD, and so I'm, I have a subscription service for both. if you're looking to do just kind of a reset, just a three month reset, I have a package where you can get access to the weekly group coaching and all of the online resources that come along with the group coaching program. And then you can also get two one-on-one sessions a month That's amazing. For a discounted price for three months if you're Okay. Cool. What I'll do is I'll link all of that in the show notes below. And yeah, thank you so much for being here today. I'm so grateful to have you as a friend. And yeah, I look forward to future conversations. Thank you so much for having me on here as well, to kinda just talk about these challenges that we experienced with a DH adhd, but then also the solutions. I think it's in, you know, as a business owner, it's really helpful to have, access to a network where you can kind of talk to other people about things that you also may be struggling with, but just having a platform so that people see both sides, Providing understanding and knowing how your brain works as an adult with A DHD and ensuring that you get the right supports that you need for that are important. But then it's also really important to understand the business side of it all too. and knowing that as a business owner, you have your own specific needs that may be different from your clients. Yeah, that's really beautiful, and I'm glad that you said that. Thank you so much.