Burn It All Down: The ADHD Brain's All-or-Nothing Trap

Have you ever looked at a messy room and thought "forget it, I'll just burn it all down"? That's all-or-nothing thinking, and if you have ADHD, it's probably showing up in your laundry, your to-do list, and everywhere in between.

In this episode, Megs breaks down why all-or-nothing thinking isn't a character flaw, it's actually a flight response, your nervous system trying to protect you from overwhelm. She explains how it keeps us stuck through perfectionism, procrastination, hiding messes, and waiting for the "perfect moment" to start, and why that moment never comes.

The good news? You can build new brain muscles. Megs walks through tiny, doable steps; one dish, five minutes, touching the laundry once, that starts to rewire the pattern over time without requiring you to overhaul your entire life first.

She also shares personal examples, why community and support matter, and where to find help if you want to go deeper. If you're looking for an ADHD-informed therapist, check out  Neurodivergent Therapists,  Psychology Today, and  Zencare, all great places to find someone who gets it.

This one is practical, validating, and a great place to start if all-or-nothing thinking has been keeping you stuck.

TIME MARKERS

0:39 — Welcome and the "burn it all down" feeling — what all-or-nothing thinking actually looks like 

1:55 — What all-or-nothing thinking is and how it connects to your ADHD brain 

4:29 — Why this pattern keeps you stuck: overwhelm, perfectionism, and the impossible starting line 

8:11 — How to start noticing where all-or-nothing thinking shows up in your daily life 

11:14 — Starting small and building the brain muscle — why tiny actions actually work 

13:55 — Real five-minute win examples: dishes, laundry, work sessions, and more 

18:54 — Tiny steps in action: Megs shares personal examples from her own life 

22:21 — The "not enough until it's done" trap — and how to break out of it 

28:14 — Why community and being believed in makes a real difference 

31:57 — Therapy and helpful resources: Neurodivergent Therapists, Psychology Today, and Zencare 

33:31 — Do one thing today — your simple starting point 

34:55 — Closing thoughts and what's coming next

Would you like to learn more about hiring Megs as your ADHD coach? Start here> The Perfect Place to Start

The Community is OPEN! Join right here: Organizing an ADHD Brain

You can also learn more about the community HERE> OrganizinganADHDBrain.com

Transcript

— What all-or-nothing thinking is

— Why this pattern keeps you stuck

— Start noticing where all-or-nothing thinking shows up

— Starting small and building the brain muscle — why tiny actions actually work

— Real five-minute win examples: dishes, laundry, work sessions, and more

— Tiny steps in action

— The "not enough until it's done" trap

— Why community makes a real difference

— Therapy and helpful resources: Neurodivergent Therapists, Psychology Today, and Zencare

— Do one thing today — your simple starting point

— Closing thoughts and what's coming next

Audio Only - All Participants 0:39

Hey, beautiful people. Welcome back to another episode of Organizing an A DHD Brain. I'm your host, megs, and today we are gonna be talking about all or nothing. Do you ever have that feeling where you just wanna burn it all down? you just wanna make it go all away and you're like, burn it down. I'll just start from scratch. Or do you ever prevent yourself from doing anything at all because you're like. Well, I need to have a full plan. I need to have everything first. I need to know exactly what's gonna happen. What's interesting is that this is another fear response, right? Our body is telling us there's danger and We've never been given the tools to be able to address that in a way that makes sense until now, right? We've been talking a lot about our fight or flight response when it comes to. Life now. This happens in our clutter. This happens in our to-do list. This happens when we go to do the dishes or not do the dishes or bring something up the stairs, you know, normal things. But all or nothing is another fight or flight response When it comes to taking care of stuff, getting things done, and oftentimes it's one of the biggest things that prevents us from moving forward. So let's talk about all or nothing. What is all or nothing? So this is an avoidance or a flight response. Our body is telling us that what's in front of us is danger, so it might be I need to organize my kitchen, but I don't have time to do all of it right now, so I'm going to do none of it. And that's typically the story that we tell ourselves. But what's really happening is that our body sees that the stuff that we've accumulated is really in our way. It's frustrating and it's overwhelming and it triggers us. And it triggers us saying, Hey, this is danger. This is not comfort. This is not comfortable. This is not making me feel good about my house right now. And so we react in a multitude of different ways. One of them is by fighting the stuff, right? We angry clean or we stare at it and then we don't do anything about it'cause we don't know where to start. Or we people please where let me just hide what's happening here. Or we run away from it and we're like, I'll deal with this later. Procrastination, right? Classic procrastination move. We know we're gonna deal with it one day, but today is not that day. But we also know how much it's impacting us and it's really frustrating to do anything about it. But when I say all or nothing, what's typically going on in our brains is like we want everything to be done We don't feel like anything we do is gonna be worth it. Now, one part of this could have to do with our executive function, taking these bigger projects and breaking them down into smaller aspects or clumps of things that need to be done. Or it could be our perfectionism coming into play saying, well, I need to know exactly what's happening and I wanna have a plan and I wanna buy all the bins, and I wanna buy all the things, and I wanna have everything in control. Before I start on this because I want it to be perfect, but then because of all those things, we don't actually move forward. it's all or nothing, but the all actually doesn't truly happen as much as the nothing does. The nothing is the thing that wins out most of the time. when I'm working with clients, and this has happened with so many people, when we talk about doing things in small chunks, everybody says to me, but It's not enough. I can't just do that. It wouldn't be enough. I need it to be more, I need to be able to see it. So the all or nothing thing is the thing that prevents us from moving forward. And what's interesting about this too is in a bigger sense, I see so many of my clients hold themselves back from actually living until they feel like they've gotten to a point where they've done the thing and they can move on with their lives. So like they have to have their whole house organized and perfect before they can paint or color or enjoy life at all. Be present. They feel like they need to be constantly doing something. this has a lot to do with not only A DHD, but the lives that we're living right now in this constant go, go, go world where we are never not entertained by something. We are constantly needing to do something else. I actually tried to relax this weekend and I do try to practice this on a regular basis and I was like, oh my gosh, must be doing something. And it was so interesting how that kept coming up. I've also been off of social media now for about three weeks where I have not scrolled. It just doesn't make sense in my life. I noticed a pretty significant difference in my mental capacity when I'm not on social media, and so it's been a real gift and it's taken me a long time to get where I'm at. but I simply delete the social media apps from my phone. And the reason why I'm doing it is because I want to be more present with my kids. I notice that if I have social media, it's so easy for me to escape into this world that's just making me more and more on alert for danger around every corner. So making that stop has been such a gift and has allowed me to be more present, not only with my kids, but in my own community, and seeking out ways I can continue to show up just one baby step at a time. So all or nothing, right? I think you get the point now of what it is and how you react to it. So how do we beat it? How do we combat it. I don't know that we beat it. But I do know that there's a way to understand it. There's a way to recognize how it shows up in our lives and how often and where so that you can start to recognize it and change the way in which you are reacting to these different aspects of life. Like when it comes down to it, our fight or flight reactions keep us stuck. It doesn't give us the next logical move. It doesn't keep us moving forward. It simply keeps us stuck. Even if we do get to that all point where we're spending an entire day organizing something like our kitchen, everything is out. We get to the point that we're so darn overwhelmed that we wanna give up, but we know we have to keep going, or maybe we don't. We just leave it all out there and hope for the best. But we finally put it away, but our brain is so tired at that point, we can't actually put it away with logic, and we probably don't remember everything that's happened. In fact, when we are having a fight or flight response, we're not in our conscious brain. We are unconsciously, subconsciously, keeping ourselves safe, and we're not thinking with our logical brain, which. Is probably why we don't remember where we put a lot of things Remember when I lost the command strips when I first moved To Massachusetts? Yeah. I was in my subconscious brain. I was not thinking clearly about where I would go to look for these things if I were trying to find them. And that's why that question, where would I go to look for this if I were trying to find it? It's such a darn cool question, and it's regulatory speaking out loud helps bring you back to the present moment so you can think clearly about what's next. so how do we recognize this? You start to notice. Now noticing is a huge practice, and sometimes this happens just by thinking about it a lot. Have you ever not made a change because you had to think about it a lot? First, I've noticed that that's part of my process. I have to think a ton about making a change before I typically do it. I'm okay with that because it allows me to start to observe the different ways that this is showing up in my life and possibly the different things that are triggering it. So when you're noticing, start to notice where this all or nothing comes up. Maybe it's laundry. Well, I don't wanna do laundry once a day because I'm just gonna do it this weekend, even if it is seven loads of laundry and I have to fold it all at once. Maybe it's a to-do list. I don't wanna do any of this today because it's too daunting and overwhelming. I'll get to it tomorrow. Maybe you have a project that you've been staring at for weeks, months, years even, and you're like, I'll put that off. Even though it sits on the back of your brain, you don't wanna do anything with it because you wanna have all the stuff first, but you also haven't actually made the time to do it because you've got, well, a lot of other things that you're doing, and so that makes sense. Maybe that you're not doing it, but where is this all or nothing showing up in your life? I should also point out here that these are really emotional decisions. We are emotional human beings. And so it's not as if we're just saying, oh, all or nothing, and moving on with that. No, we're looking at this and we are, we're feeling guilty or feeling awful about it. But in some cases we are so used to avoiding these things to keep ourselves safe in the moment that we keep doing it. And that is where you start to notice. And maybe you're not doing anything about it yet, but you're noticing it more and more like, oh wow, I noticed that I'm always complaining about doing laundry on the weekend, but I don't actually want to be doing laundry on the weekend, and it feels like that's the only choice that you have in the matter. But it's not about beating it. It's about noticing where it's showing up in your life so that you can start to understand it in a way that could work for you. And I'm gonna tell you, I don't think that there's beating it because I've been working on this for a really long time, just reminding myself that I'm safe in these moments. And my brain has this all or nothing mindset about it. But because I've been practicing noticing, because I see this so often, I come back and it's easier to say oh, that all or nothing is not gonna serve me here. And I get to change the way that I approach different things in life. We all do. We all have really incredible, brilliant, beautiful brains. And yes, A DHD kind of sucks sometimes, and also it's kind of amazing sometimes just the way that our brain works, But noticing allows you to understand where it's showing up. Okay, so what do we do after we notice? There's a couple different things here when you're noticing. It's helpful to understand why you noticed, like what are you noticing it with? Is it the laundry? Is it the stuff at the door where like your kids throw everything on the floor and until it gets to be too much and then you clean it up all at once? Like where is the all or nothing showing up? Sometimes it shows up in my kids' rooms in that they get crazy and we're like, okay, now we have to do everything right now. Except that that's not the case. My daughter even said to me the other night, she's like, wouldn't it be great if we just did a five minute cleanup every night? And I'm like, yeah. And then both of us proceeded to forget about that and then she had testing this week. So I went up and did a five minute cleanup last night, and it was easy. It was really, really nice for her and her sister to go to sleep in a room that felt really, really comfortable without things on the floor that mommy could step on So when you're noticing where it shows up I just wanna point out here, you can't tackle it all at once. you're like, I'm noticing everything and now I must conquer everything. But we forget that we're also living full lives in that. You have a full schedule and you likely have a job and kids or other people and things that are taking up so much of your time. And so while you're noticing that's not a good place to say, I need to do all of this, you could keep track of it somewhere, but what's one thing that you could allow yourself to start to break the barrier of all or nothing a little bit? Or maybe it is a few little things, things that you have to do every single day that could make it a little bit easier. You just try it out. as a coach. Think about it like tennis. If you came to me and you knew nothing about tennis, we would start to work out the muscles that you would need to work out. In order to build the strength you need to play tennis. Same with soccer or baseball or softball. All of these different sports needs you to work certain muscles to get stronger in order for you to continue to come back and get better and better. So as you're approaching this. Think about that. Oh, I'm just working out a muscle, a brain muscle, if you will, a neuroplasticity muscle. but you're just building new ways to go about your life in a way that's going to feel not so great because it's different than you've ever done it before. So one way that you could start. Perhaps you could approach the dishwasher. Maybe the dishwasher is full and even the dishes are in the sink, and you're like, Ugh. In order to do this, I have to do it all at once. Or what if you opened the dishwasher and put away one dish? Or if that feels ugh awful to you, what if you just put away only the bowls? Allow it to even be a game, Where you section it off. Maybe you just put away the silverware regardless, put away one thing and allow yourself to walk away. See what that looks like. There's a woman in my community who talks about laundry and how every day she gets her hands on the laundry, even if it's not doing a load or putting things away, she moves it around or touches it once. So it could be moving it from the hamper to a basket to be brought to the laundry, and then it could be just, you know, doing a load of laundry drying. And then that's it. And then the next day she's getting it out and she's folding it. And so she just puts her hands on the laundry once a day. And that's part of the rule. It's not a full thing that she has to do. She just approaches it. And that's actually helped me a lot because I have been working on doing one load of laundry a day. And at first it was so interesting because I was like, why would I do this? We don't have enough laundry for one load a day, except there's two of us, myself and my husband. There's my two daughters who are almost seven, almost nine. We each wear pajamas. Sometimes I work out, sometimes they have different clothes in the evening too, Anyways, That's enough to do a small load of laundry. And also pretty easy to put it away after if that's all we're doing. And then in some cases, if we don't have that much laundry, I've actually found a way to just throw some towels in there. But that has been really interesting for me because just by having community, and I'm so grateful for this woman in my community who said that, I was like, oh. On the harder days, on the days where I'm not my best, it's much easier for me to say, okay, I don't wanna do laundry today. That's stupid, right? My brain is like, Ugh, gross. I can, and I allow myself to just move it from the hamper to a basket. And then I look at it and I'm like, oh, look at that. I'm just one step closer and I'm allowed to give myself credit for that. And what's crazy is that in some cases I actually feel like I can do it because I've done that one thing that felt like the hardest thing to do. So that's been a little bit interesting. I've been playing around with this a lot in my business. So the other day there was a to-do item that came up on my project list and it was this task. I don't even remember putting it in there, but it makes sense that I did'cause I otherwise would've forgotten about it. But this task was having me fill out a template. So that I could start to make some modifications in my community if you didn't know. I have a community called organizing an A DHD brain, and I'm always looking for different ways to support the members of the community to getting things done, body double coaching, things like that. So this document came up and I was like, I don't want to fill this out. It looked so daunting and uncomfortable, and I was like, Ew. But then. I paused and I noticed and I was like, oh, I am so safe to do this right now. And I took a deep breath and I allowed myself to work on it for five minutes. And in that five minute timeframe, I got the entire first page filled out. Then when I saw it again, come up on my to-do list, I did it again for five minutes and I got the next page filled out. So what's interesting about this, I've now spent 10 minutes on this template over the last couple days, and I've moved forward despite only working on it for 10 minutes. Have you ever noticed that sometimes we equate value with the amount of time we're working on something? I've noticed that a lot lately, not only with myself but with clients too. Just interesting because I wonder if that's also what holds us back so much from moving forward is that amount of time and us saying that we don't have time to do these things when really, what if we just allowed it to be easy and take only five minutes. Approached it that way, but it also comes back to addressing that fight or flight response that we naturally get in our bodies when it comes to doing things that we're not used to doing. That go against what we do to keep ourselves comfortable or what we have always done. Because as much as we don't like where we're at sometimes what we're doing, we're used to it and what we're not used to doing, the things that could make it easier. Are actually uncomfortable, even if they could make our lives easier, because we have to actually get used to doing it. One thing I tried recently, I was just doing this experiment, so there's no before and afters. You're gonna just have to take my word for it. My husband and I are moving again. So the place we're at right now in Massachusetts is only temporary and we found this really, really cool place down the road from us and we're really excited. It's on a quiet street where the girls are gonna be able to ride bikes and it's got a really big backyard But I knew that we were going to have to do a little bit of packing. Now we don't have a ton because we sold all of our stuff before we moved from Colorado back here to Massachusetts and. There's still some stuff that needs to be done. The people that own this house are turning it into a short term rental, which means that we're gonna need to put some of their stuff back where it went initially. So it's all in the basement. Most of our stuff is in the basement, the stuff we have in storage or packed up. So when I was doing the laundry one day, I was like. What if I just got my hands on this? Like I don't have time to do really anything right now, but I just wanna see what is in these different. Plastic totes from the people who own the house, and I'm just gonna label the outside of it. So I opened up one tote, saw what was inside, put a masking tape label on the outside and walked away. And then the next day I did the same thing. I looked at another tote. I just put a little label on the outside and walked away. After a couple days, those totes were done. And then I was like, oh, I wonder if I could do this with my stuff too. I didn't have a plan going into this. I was just like, I'm just gonna get my hands on this stuff and just see what's down here. I just wanna get a good idea because I know the faster I get my eyes on everything, the more I'll be able to make sense of what we have and what we need moving forward as we're going to a new house. So then I opened up one of our larger totes and I saw that's where we put our Christmas tree and it didn't have a label on it, so let me put a label on it. And I was like, why didn't I put a label on it? Of course not. That's fine. We don't have a ton of stuff, right? And that's how it starts. Like, I don't need a label. I'll know where it is. So I put a label on the Christmas tree, and then I saw her Christmas stuff and I was like, oh, I see some other miscellaneous Christmas stuff just kind of hanging out here. Let me go ahead and put that away in here too. Put another label on it. So I'm simply. Acknowledging the things that I own, putting them in compartments or categories together, and I'm doing this in less than five minutes a day. This is just my example, yours might look different and it might not make as much progress in as little time because I've been doing this for a lot longer. So I'm sharing this example to show you how you can do this and. You don't have to have a timeline. I mean, if you're moving, yeah, your timeline's gonna be a little bit moved up, but if not, I wonder what it could look like to get to it. I've also been practicing this a lot, it's much easier for me to get to some of these projects because I have been practicing reminding myself that it's okay that I don't do all of this all at once. And it's fascinating. It is so interesting to me that this is something I am capable of. I still question it and I still want to do everything all at once, and yet it's been so interesting to get to the project in little bits at a time. we say it's not enough until it is because that's the thing, it's not enough. It's not enough to unload one dish from the dishwasher. Of course not. But when you come back to the dishwasher, that's one less dish that you have to put away, which means the overwhelm is just a little bit less because you already did a little bit of it, which is really cool. I have a DHD, I also have an all or nothing mindset, and because I've noticed, because I see where it shows up, I take some deep breaths. I remind myself that I'm safe in these moments, and I can take little steps to get toward the future that I want. Which is not letting all of this stuff become so overwhelming all the damn time. Now, you might be asking yourself, what about all the things that I'm still gonna be forgetting to do? Yeah. Like absolutely there's going to be things that you forget to take care of. So for example, in the community this month, we're doing mini tasks, things that we can do in less than five minutes, just to see what that looks like and what that feels like. And the first day was junk drawer and I went to the junk drawer and mine is super small'cause we don't have a very big kitchen right now. And. I had to find a piece of trash, and I was like, oh, I found two pieces of trash. I threw those away. I found band-aids that I would never look in this drawer for. So I put those away and then I simply moved things around so I could see what was in there. And it took me less than three minutes, and it was really cool because it was just touching the area to get my eyes on things. That's what's interesting about this too, is so often we forget about these little places and then in order to get to them, we feel like we need to stop our lives to actually do something about them. but we don't. We simply just need to take action on them, however small that action is. In fact, the smaller the action, the better.'cause you're just building muscles. If you're training for a weight competition. if you've never done this before, you're not gonna start from like a hundred pound weights. You're gonna start with five pound weights, like Itsy Pty ones like, oh, look what I could do, i'm gonna prove to myself that I can get good at this until I can do other things. And from there you get to build systems and like all of this stuff, I call them rhythms because rhythm sounds better and music, yay. But also some things are just going to be non-existent and that's okay. If you are not used to doing any of these things, you're gonna notice so much more. You're gonna be like, oh my God, there's so much for me to do. And then that's where you're gonna be like, what if I'm already so behind? What's the point now? I'm already so behind. Why would I start now? Why wouldn't you? It's not working. You're annoyed. You've gotten to this point where you're listening to my podcast, so of course you want something to change. This allows it to be easy. This allows the barrier of entry to be so minuscule that you can't fail. And what if you couldn't fail every day? What if you were like, for the next 10 days, I have to touch one thing That's the teeny, tiniest little thing, but just allows me to be proud of it. Like, I'm gonna pick up one pair of shoes and put them away. Done. I'm going to. Find one spice in my spice cabinet that's expired and throw it away. Even if I'm like, what if I need it? This is where we start to build the muscle and we remind ourselves that we're safe to trust the decisions that we're making in these spaces to see what works. If you did this for 10 days and remembered to do it for 10 days, that's the thing there, right? Remembering. If you remember to do it for 10 days, can you imagine what that would be? I mean, it's 10 items, right? That's not a lot of items. But also, if you did that for 365 days, how much closer would you be? Consistency, right? It's not about consistency, it's about being persistent, just touching these items and putting action on it. Action is everything. And like I said earlier, it's not enough until it is. In some cases, when you're taking action, that is the catalyst to getting you to move. All you have to do is set yourself in motion. Don't let that hold you back either. You're allowed to walk away, and that's why I encourage you to flex the muscle and then just walk away. I've brought it up a couple times, but Atomic Habits by James Clear, so good. And he talks about just building the habit, Putting the thing close to where you need it so that you can just get into the habit of doing it like. Putting on your workout clothes for when you wake up in the morning, like sleeping in them, and then you wake up, you're ready to go, you put on your sneakers. Maybe you just go to the gym for five minutes and you're like, that's it. I went to the gym today. I went to the gym. It does not matter how long you went because you went to the gym and then after 10 days of going to the gym for five minutes, what if the next week you did go to 10 minutes? You're already used to going to the gym. What's five more minutes at that point? You're allowed to let this be small, but. In this world that we live in, in this social media world, we're seeing people change exponentially so fast, and we're seeing these before and afters, and we don't take into consideration anything that's gone into the middle, the damn middle of making this before and after actually happen. And a lot of that is by making teeny tiny itsy bitsy decisions along the way. Because the truth is, is you can only make one decision at a time. Even if your brain wants to make 18. some things are going to get left behind for now, but what you're doing is you're proving to yourself that things can get done, just not that right now, and that's where boundaries come into play. I talked a little bit about this two weeks ago in a solo episode, talking about like the belief behind it and really believing in ourselves, and if we can do this, if you're at this point and you're like, that's not real. You don't have a DHD because you don't actually know how my life is I do have a DHD, but like, yes, I don't know how your life is, and that is one of the coolest things I get to do as a coach is to dive into people's lives and to meet them where they're at, because we are all at a different point, but if you're at this point and you're doubting it, that is where I encourage you to speak about your experiences with other people because you're not alone. And to really understand, like I'm at this journey where I have let go of so much stuff. Clutter is not impacting my life the way that it did years ago or even a year ago. But I work with people whose lives are continuously impacted by clutter, where we're talking about that stuff. But I lived it. I lived it just like you are living it now, and I'm proof that you can get to the other side with A DHD. I also did a whole lot of other things along the way. Not at the same time, but different times. I made some really big changes. you can do one thing, you can do it. Just one thing. Try and see what that looks like, but also maybe look for a therapist that could help you understand your A DHD better, or read a book about A DHD to understand you're not alone. Join a community. My community is organizing an A DHD Brain, and it is available to join right now. You can email me to ask more questions. Go to organizing an ADHD brain.com/community. There's information there, or simply join get an idea of what it could be like to be around people. Who freaking get it right. I'm giving you this advice, but there's still some days that I'm like, I don't want to do any of these things. It's stupid. And why do I have to, I wanna come back to what I had said about. What if I'm already so behind, like what's the point at this point? I sometimes have that mentality too. I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I could probably learn how to play the guitar, but what's the point now? I'm so far behind. Yeah. That's one attitude I could have about it, but also if I want to, I can learn how to play the guitar, but am I going to prioritize that over something else? It's not about not being able to do it, it's just are there other priorities in your life right now? And yes, there are. Our lives are so freaking busy, busier than they've ever been in the history of life. And I say that because we used to watch Little House on the Prairie, right? And what did they do all day? They didn't have cell phones. I remember the episode where Paul had to keep the wolves away from the cottage, That would trigger a fight or flight response. the truth is, is that you can do anything you put your mind to, but you do have to believe that it's possible. And believing that it's possible is starting to understand that you're not alone out there.'cause you really are not. We are longing for community everywhere. More than ever nowadays, because we as a society, as a culture, as people. Are expanding in the things that we know about how we act, how we show up, what our brain is capable of doing. Like I know for myself, I'm on my own healing journey, just understanding what I've been through and how I wanna show up as a mom for my kids. It's been fascinating and not something I'm ready to share about, but I'll tell you that that's a journey I'm on right now and it's really interesting. If you're not at the point where any of this is resonating. Find a therapist first because they help you work through the shit. They help you work through so much of the stuff I would describe my own experience as it's almost like you're buried under the surface with all this dirt on top of you, which doesn't allow you to see any light above you, where this is what you feel like you're stuck in and there's no way out of it. And so you're just gonna keep looping through life. And some days are good and some days are awful. But a therapist helps you work through some of that shit. With a little baby spoon shovel. It doesn't happen overnight and it's really annoying, but it helps you move forward. So I found a couple websites where you can narrow down the therapist you're looking for, like by, man or woman. Or non-gender specific, or maybe you are looking for someone who's gonna support you in the lifestyle that you live. Maybe you're looking for someone who also specializes in OCD because that's a co-occurring condition that you have. There are so many people out there who are prepared and ready to work with you through this, but I wanted to post these websites in the comments because I know I've had trouble finding therapists in the past, and I just want you to know that there are a ton of things out there that can support you. So resources in the end. You're not behind. You're right on time. You're exactly where you need to be. You listened to this episode today because you needed a reason to move forward, and I've given you a reason to move forward in the teeny tiniest of ways. Here are a couple ways you could move forward. Right now. You can, if you're in the car, when you get home, when you see your garage door, and even repeat this out loud when you see your garage door or your driveway, wherever you live, if you don't have a garage. Then pick up a piece of garbage and take it into the house with you. One piece of garbage. You don't need to clean your whole car. Just see what you can carry in with you. If you're at home with the kids and you see a toy on the floor, go pick up that toy and put it where the kids would go to look for it if they were trying to find it. If you're at home working from home, then. Simply go to the fridge and pick out a condiment that no one ever uses. I don't care how much is in there if you don't use it. It's just another decision getting in your way when you're trying to look for something. Go ahead and recycle it empty it all out and put it in the recycling. Those are the little, little things that you're building muscles for the future of what your home could be like. It's just one decision at a time, and you're so capable of doing that. Anyways. I have a really hard time ending my episodes. I feel like there's more I have to say. There are more things I need to inspire you to do, but I have told you, you're exactly where you need to be. So you can start at any time you don't have yesterday. You don't have tomorrow today. Today is the day. Make that small little effort, and that's all you have to do is move forward. We're gonna move forward today. Thank you so much for listening. I am, I'm so grateful for all of you for tuning in. I hope to see you in the community and I'd love to chat with you about coaching. Right now I actually don't have any spots for coaching for the foreseeable future, but I will have spots opening up toward the end of the summer and even in the fall. So if you are considering coaching, I would encourage you to get on my calendar so we can chat about if it's a right fit for you. No matter what, I'd really love to point you in the direction of where you need to go next. So please know that it's just a conversation. Regardless, thank you so much for tuning in I really appreciate you and I hope you have a great rest of your day. And rest of your week. I'll see you next week.