Update on my surplus & big chat about weight fluctuations!

Rubes is back today with an update how the first month in her calorie surplus has gone! We cover the calories she's been consuming, daily steps she's hitting, and a bigggg breakdown of the scale weight fluctuations and progress that we've seen in across the month 👀

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The Eat Like Ruby podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or dietary advice.
The advice given in this episode is general in nature and should not be used to treat any medical conditions, health conditions, illnesses, injuries and/or any nutrition related conditions, deficiencies or similar.
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

G'day gals, welcome back to the pod. Today I am gonna do a solo episode all about my muscle gain phase and just an update on where that's at. So, first of all, I feel like some people might hear that and be like, didn't you just start this? No, I didn't. Sitting here right now, I'm at the end of week four, but when I launched the first episode where we like broke down the muscle gain phase and like introduced it, I was already like three weeks in by the time the episode came out. It's just a bit of weird timing. But I started my muscle gain phase or my calorie surplus on March 15th, Sunday, March 15th. So sitting here now, it is Thursday, April 10th. So this weekend in like two days' time from when I'm recording will be the end of week four. So first month done. I'm doing five months, 20 weeks, if you don't know. First of all, if you don't know, it means you haven't listened to the last episode, which I would listen to before this one, because that was like explaining the muscle game phase, the surplus, what it's gonna look like with calories, training, mindset, goals, all of those things. And then today I'm gonna give an update on where all that's at. So I would definitely listen to that first episode, especially if you're interested in this kind of stuff, because I am trying to make a real effort to like document the process and just talk through the whole thing. And yeah, I think it is a cool topic. It's a topic that I absolutely love, but I know that it's a little bit more of a niche topic compared to fat loss. But yeah, I think it's a cool topic. And if you're interested in this stuff, so cool, I think, to really like watch someone navigate it and see what it all looks like. I think it's easy to see content where we see, like, oh, make sure you spend time out of a surplus, or even just people with really aesthetic reels that are like, I did the bulk, now I've done the shred, look how good my bot is. But it's like, no, I think we need to dig deeper into what that process actually looks like, and more so like navigating that process as a female who's like doing a bulk or like intentionally trying to put on weight. Like there can be a fair bit that comes with that. So that is why I'm here today doing an update on all of this stuff because I do really want to speak to it. I don't want to just be like, oh, I'm doing a surplus and then pop up in 20 weeks' time and be like, surplus done. And it's like so much happened in that 20 weeks, but we didn't talk about it. I want to talk about it. So that is why I'm here today. And moving forward, I am gonna aim to try and do fairly regular and as close to real time as I can updates. When we record the pod, we obviously then go off and edit it and get it ready to put out there. Sometimes people ask why we edit it. They're like, why don't you just record it and upload it? If any of you guys have seen like the little snippets or anything, usually my dog Natella is in here snoring his head off. Often he'll have like a random choking fit in the middle of the episode. Shaq, my husband, tends to walk in. Sometimes the phone rings. Sometimes I have a neighbor and I swear my neighbor is like, I'll wait till she starts recording till I start blowing my leaves. And then I swear, if I have a recording day, this guy's like, I want to blow the leaves six times. It's like, of course you freaking are. So that's why we edit. So that's why we record in advance so we can edit and get the episodes up in time. So I want to try and find a sweet spot where I can get as close to real time as possible, like record on a Friday, get the episode out the next week, kind of thing, just so we can like really keep on top of where the muscle gain phase is actually at. So that is my plan moving forward. But in these initial weeks, it's been um a bit of a crazy time throughout the end of March, start of April, because we obviously had Easter and then Easter went straight into Brizzy High Rocks. And sitting here right now, I'm going to Hy Rocks tonight. So it's Thursday morning. I'm going to Hy Rocks. I've got a bunch of people doing Hyrux at 7.30 tonight in Brizzy. I'm going to be back there tomorrow morning for someone doing like 9 a.m. So just a crazy few days between Easter and Hyrux. Um, so that's why we're like a bit organized with recording. Everything's a little bit all over the place. But just know, sitting here right now, I am coming up to the end of week four, and I am going to try and record some really regular updates moving forward. But I think even this first update is cool to do after I've actually been in it for a few weeks. Like if we did an update on day six, it's like, well, how much has happened in six days, really? So I think it's cool to do this first update a month in. And I don't have any notes today, but there's been lots of things that have been popping up for me as I've been going through the first month of the surplus and just thinking, like, oh yeah, there's definitely some cool chat here for the pod. So, first thing I'm gonna get into is today we'll probably look again, like a little bit of an update on calories, training, and then some of the mindset stuff that has come up as I've navigated that first month. So, if we start with calories, I said in that last episode I was aiming for an average of like 2,600 cal. And to hit that, I was gonna do five days a week at 2,800 and then two days a week at 2300. And I was gonna line up those lower calorie days with my rest days and then obviously higher calves for training. And yeah, I was really pumped for that. Thought that was gonna be a real sweet spot. Because of what I just said with like Easter, High ROX, et cetera, my training days have been a little bit random as well. Like I've shifted things around because we've shifted my usual work schedule and stuff to allow me to go to HyROX for five days, which I wouldn't normally do, and having Easter off and just things like that. So nothing major going on there, but I just haven't been like doing the same session every Monday, same thing every Tuesday, like I normally would. It's just been like a little bit random. So then, therefore, the high and low days have been a little bit random as well. And then on top of that, I've still obviously had some rest days throughout the week, but sometimes on those rest days, I'm like, hmm, I feel like a bit more than 2,300. And the very first thing I want to point out there is coming back to that last episode. I said in that last episode, I am more than happy to cop the body fat gain and the weight gain that is gonna come with making decisions like that. So I just think that's a very important thing to catch straight away. I think certain people might hear me say that and be like, oh, well, if Rubes lets herself just eat a little bit more, then I can let myself just eat a little bit more. You absolutely can, but you've got to be okay with what that's gonna mean for your goals, your results, the trade-offs, et cetera. So that's gonna be different for everyone, depending on what your goals and your desired results and everything is. But just know that me sitting here saying, I've had some days where I've felt like going over my cows, and I have, I'm also more than happy to cop, like I said, the weight gain, the body fat gain that's gonna come alongside that. So I think it's common for people to be like, oh, I want to go over my cows, but then I don't want the shit that's gonna come with it.

unknown 6:33

Right?

SPEAKER_00 6:34

So sometimes I will just be going into a rest day and then I'm like, yep, okay, cool, 2,300 cows. And then I've definitely had bits of hunger. Like, I'm obviously not starving. She's definitely not starving. I'm not desperate for food or anything, but I've definitely had moments where I'm like, yeah, I could eat. Like I'm definitely not full. So I've just been navigating that kind of day to day. And I guess that kind of segues into another thing I wanted to talk about. I was gonna do just like in the 2800s on my training days, 2300s on the rest days. I've given myself pretty much the flexibility to hit between 2,300 and 3,000 cals every day. And what that looks like, I've got my big spreadsheet here, so I'll read it out just to give you a little bit of an example of like the first week on the very first day of the surplus. 2,840. Next day I did 2,370, 2,850, 2,920, 2,800, 2,800, 2,600, 2,800, 3,000, 2,800, 2,800, 2,400, 2,800. So that is what my first couple of weeks looked like. And like I said, I pretty much have just given myself that flexibility to hit between two, three and three thousand. On top of that, I'm very mindful that if every day I was coming in around 2,300, I would be under consuming for the goal that I have. So my goal is to be in the definite surplus. I don't want to be at maintenance. I definitely don't want to be in a deficit. I definitely want to be consuming more calories overall than my body needs because I want my body to have excess calories coming in. I want to store excess calories because I want to gain weight, I want to gain muscle. So I want to make sure I'm eating enough for that to happen. So coming back to what I was saying there, even though I'm giving myself that flexibility, I'm making sure that I'm not gonna have like every day down at 2,300. And side note, I'm not because I want to eat more than that. So there's no like chance of that really happening. But that's just what I want to look at there is like, yes, I'm giving myself flexibility, but there's still parameters, there's still guidelines on that flexibility, and I'm still mindful of like, well, Rubes, your overall goal requires a surplus. If I was consistently hitting 2,300, that's not going to be a surplus. So just keeping that in mind. But then just coming back to like if I do have a rest day or just some day where I'm like, yeah, 2,300 was enough today, letting that be okay. But then equally, if I have a day where I'm like, I've planned to hit 2,7, but I feel like I could eat a bit more, I'm happy to go up to like 29, 3,000. And if we come back to all those numbers I just rattled off, very rarely is she hitting 2,300. I think that was one day in there that I was doing that. So I think that's just a cool thing to look at is yes, I'm giving myself the flexibility, but I've got, like I said, guidelines and parameters on that flexibility. And it also makes a lot of sense for the goal that I have. If I had a goal to achieve fat loss, I wouldn't give myself a 700 calorie range to hit every day because I know I need to be in the deficit. And then if I was to be like, oh, and I'm happy to eat like 700 calories less than that, like friggin' no way, Ruby, don't do that. So I think having that flexibility is cool at different times. And this is why I always say like, there's no right or wrong. It's not wrong to be really strict or right to be really strict or right or wrong to have more flexibility. You just want to come back to your goal and be like, what makes sense for my goal right now? And then, like I said, even though you've got flexibility, you've still got certain standards and requirements alongside that flexibility that you make sure you reach. And if I just scroll to the bottom of my spreadie for a second here, my average intake so far is sitting at 2,825. So this is perfect. And this is actually a little bit higher than the average I was aiming for. Like I was aiming for that average between 2.6 and 2.7. It's up in the 2.8. I'm totally fine with that because again, I would rather over-consume than under consume right now. And I'm gonna talk about my weight and body composition and everything in a second. So I'm keeping an eye on obviously what that average is, and then I'm also looking at how is my body responding to this average, if I'm getting the response that I want. Awesome, keep doing what I'm doing. If I'm not, then I would look at that and go, okay, well, do I need to adjust this? This is what I talk about with all of my clients. We talk about on the podcast all the time. I'm doing the exact same thing for myself. And I think just cool to look at how I'm doing it with the goal of muscle gain, because I think we often look at this for fat loss. So that's where my cows are at. At the same time, I've also been having a weekly meal out. So just like going out once a week for a meal. And side note, I mean, we've spoken about meals out a lot on the podcast. You can go out for a meal and get like steak and veg, no chips, no sauce, no nothing. Like we can still eat out and be pretty on track with like monitoring our food andor making it fit into certain calories, making it fit a deficit, etc. Like, there's so many ways we can navigate meals out. For me, right now, it's like I just want to go out and enjoy the meal with my husband. And again, people will hear that and go, well, I just want to do the same thing. Yeah, but let's remember I'm also happy to cop the trade-off that's gonna come with that. So Shaq and I have been going out, we pretty much just alternate between Mexican and Italian. We've been doing a thing where it's like each week the one of us gets to pick a place and like the other person doesn't know, we just like surprise them and take them there. And we've pretty much just gone with Mexican and Italian just by chance every time. But like we'll go to Italian and we'll do like garlic bread, pizza, maybe a drink, maybe a dessert. Like, there's no, oh, I shouldn't eat too much, should see if that fits my calors, etc. Like, those are definitely higher days. I think that's where in the spreadsheet, I just record them as 3,000 calors. And I guess, I mean, there's probably a quick little thing we can look at there as well. When I go into those days, I don't limit my intake during the day before it. So if we think about someone who's aiming for really low calors and they're going out for dinner, often they can eat sweet effle during the day, which I'm not a big fan of because it's like ripping yourself off a ton of nutrients to then just go out and eat dinner. Like I don't love that theory. But also coming back to my goal, that doesn't make a lot of sense. So what I'm doing on those days is pretty much just eating all my normal meals and then obviously leaving out my dinner that I would eat at home and then leaving out any like major snacks that it's like, mm-rubes, you probably don't need that if you're gonna go out and eat a whole pizza. So, for example, for the last few weeks before Easter finished, my afternoon snack was like three Easter eggs and a hot crust bun. And it was about 400 and something cals. So if I knew I was going out for dinner, I'd be like, mm, I probably don't need that at four o'clock in the afternoon, right? Like, I've had my pre-training, I've had fruit, veg, calcium, all these things throughout the day that I aim to eat every day. I'd still eat all those. But then as I come towards that dinner, again, it's like, what could we just scale back a little bit? Because you're about to go out and probably eat 1500 cals, right? So I have no idea what my actual intake would be on those days, but I just recorded in the spreadsheet as 3,000. It's probably even a bit more than that. Who knows? We don't know, but that's fine because again, I'm happy to cop the consequences of that. And there is some really cool shit to look at here with my scale weight in a second. I'll get into that in a minute. But the other thing to look at on my spread-y, so the spready actually has a lot of shit on it. I might break this down if I have time throughout the episode. But some of the first few things, I have the day, I have the date, I have what week of my cycle it is. And the spreadsheet is like, it's not actually a spreadsheet, it's a notion page, FYI. Um, but the page is like formulated to work out what week of my cycle I'm in, and then what day of my cycle I'm on, and then what phase of my cycle I'm in, depending on what day I'm on. Like that's all in there. And then I've got weight, intake, and steps as the next three columns after all of that cycle stuff. And then at the bottom of the weight, the intake and the steps, they calculate the average. So every day I put in like what was my weight, what was my intake, what were my steps. And then there's just like a, I don't know what the word is, like a continuous average, like a rolling average at the bottom. It's just continuously updating as I add in the days as they go by. So, like I said, the average intake is sitting at 2,800 and my average steps are sitting at 9,000. That's not super intentional. Like I'm not really aiming for an exact amount of steps right now. I don't want to do a crazy amount of steps because it kind of defeats the purpose of eating high cows. Like I want to be in the surplus. So if I was out there stepping my little heart out, probably gonna offset the surplus. So just important to think about that. But I'm also mindful I don't want to be super unnecessarily sedentary. So I'm happy for my steps to sort of be in between like 8,000 to 12,000. I think is a nice little sweet spot for me to sit in. And then just skipping ahead a little bit, when I move into a deficit later in the year, I'll have the option of being like, okay, cool, now I'm gonna make sure the steps are 12,000 every day. Maybe I'm gonna push up even a little bit higher, like 13 or 14. We can talk about that in the future, but that's why I like to keep them at quite an enjoyable, moderate place right now, because then it's like a little tool up my sleeve that I can utilize later on. So my steps are actually quite random if I look at the daily numbers that I've been hitting that's leading to that average of 9,000. It's like 12, 7, and then 10, 6, 9, 5, 7,000, 10,000, 7,000, 10,000, 9,000, 9,000, 10,000, 10,000, 10,000, 5,000, 9,000, 7,000. So they're a little bit random, or they are random day to day, but then just coming back to that average of 9,000, that's leaving me in a pretty sweet spot right now. So I'm pretty stoked with that. So if I look at my average intake of 2,800 cows, average steps at 9,000, that is a real sweet spot for some juicy muscle gain. Because, like I said, when I go into a deficit, probably gonna be on an average intake of 1700. I'm just pausing to let myself think about when that day comes. And then, like I said, cranking those steps up as well. So then when I'm like, well, that's not my goal right now, that's not what I'm doing right now. I want to make sure I'm nice and far away from that. I want to make sure my body's not pushing all these crazy steps if it doesn't have to and it doesn't suit my goal. And I want to make sure my body's got a nice juicy intake coming in to fuel the goal that I do have of being in the surplus to gain muscle. And then we can look at what the hell my weight is doing. So, my weight, this is such a cool combo. I feel like I'm gonna be on this one for ages, but there's some really cool shit to look at here. So, in that last episode, I said that my starting weight for the surplus was 65.8 kilos. First little thing I want to point out, we touched on it in that last episode. That is a fairly high starting point of a muscle gain phase for me. I'm not saying that's a high weight, I'm not saying it's a bad weight. I'm saying compared to other muscle gain phases I've done in the past, I've never really started them at that point. My previous muscle gain phases or my surpluses have ended up around like 68 or 69 kilos. So for me sitting there going, I'm like kind of two to four kilos off that, and I'm gonna go into a five-month surplus. Like, there's a little, that's a little bit daunting. And we spoke about that in the last episode. Like, I am definitely gonna push past those numbers that I've previously ended muscle gain phases at. I'm definitely gonna push up into the 70s and see higher weights on the scale than I've ever seen before. And I'm not gonna get into that too much today because I did speak about that heaps in the last episode. So if you're someone who has similar goals to like gain muscle, build your shape, increase your intake, any of these things, definitely go back and listen to that last episode if you haven't, because I spoke so much about how I'm getting my mindset around that idea of weighing more than I've pretty much ever weighed before. So then coming back to my starting weight being 65.8, the next day it was 65.8 again. And then the next day it was 65. So here I am, like, woohoo, I'm ripping into my 2800 calves. Let's go. I'm a big dog, etc. Wow, I've just lost 800 grams. But this is so cool. Like what I'm gonna talk about here and what I'm gonna explain here is literally the most perfect example of how many times I've said on this podcast, we do not want to look at what weight does from one day to the next. There's no friggin' way that I would look at this and go, oh my god, I've lost 800 grams. I must be in a deficit. Right? Like, let's just let that sink in for a second. I think anyone who's in a similar position to me, where your deficit is around, let's say, 1700 cals, your size is similar to mine, your activity level is similar to mine, etc. I don't think you would ever consume 2800 calories and go, hmm, I wonder if I'm in a deficit. Like, you know, you're not.

unknown 19:11

Right?

SPEAKER_00 19:11

I know I'm not. And when I keep reading out what my weight did after this, we can see she's not in a deficit. So just a really cool thing to look at because we talk about this a lot on the flip side when someone is in a deficit and weight is trending down, and then all of a sudden we see that big spike up. And then the person's like, oh my God, I must be gaining body fat. I must be eating too much, I must be in a surplus, etc. It's like, no, you had a temporary weight fluctuation. That end. Again, come back to here. Yes, it's a completely different goal, but it's literally just like the opposite thing happening or like the same thing happening, but in reverse. I've had this 800 gram drop. If I was to look at that as like, oh my God, it must be in a deficit, it must be dropping body fat, it must not be eating enough, etc. Again, no, Ruby, chill the F out. You've had a temporary weight fluctuation. And side note, I think I did say it in that last episode when I was talking about like my starting weight being 65.8. I did say in that episode, I felt like I was about to come into the time in my cycle where my weight comes down. I feel like when I recorded that first episode, I was sitting at that time where my weight is up a little bit, just as part of my like monthly fluctuations. And then I was coming into that time where it drops. And it's really funny to think about the fact that I'm sitting here four weeks later. And as I continue to talk through this weight stuff, we can so clearly see this cycle playing out. So this is really cool. I've known about this for a long time. I've spoken about this on the podcast before when I've talked about my deficits and fat loss phases and stuff. I'm super aware of a very clear pattern and just a very clear cycle that my body is in. Obviously, I do have a regular female cycle going on, but I know that my weight goes through a really consistent cycle with that, where it definitely just creeps up at times, regardless of what I'm doing, and then it drops really dramatically at times, regardless of what I'm doing. And that is the temporary weight fluctuations happening due to things that have nothing to do with body composition or body fat. And then if I'm doing things for my body composition and body fat, like eating in a deficit or eating in a surplus, I see that overall trend as the months go by. But if you're just looking at one month as a whole, I always will creep up and creep down at different times. And it is a very clear cycle. So coming back to the spreadsheet here, when I saw that big drop, I was like, yeah, this is so expected for me at this time of the month. This makes sense. And then if I look over the next few days, I went 65.2, 65.2 again, 65.4, 65.4, 65, 4, 65, 6. And then I went out for dinner that day. So I hit 65.6. Went out, we did Mexican, literally just did like burritos, nachos, guac, the works. Next day I was 66.4. So what is that? An 800 gram spike. The next day I was 66.3 and I got my period. So I've said this on the podcast before where I do see my weight sit pretty low, and I also just feel it in my body. I feel very lean. I feel Like I could eat 4,000 calories and not even, it wouldn't even touch the sides like during that week leading up to getting my period. And it's so funny because this is the week where people are commonly like, I'm so bloated, I'm so heavy, the scale goes up, etc. And this is something I just love to point out where it's really cool to learn what this looks like for you personally. Because I think it's so common to just hear things like, oh, your weight's always gonna go up at this time, or you're always gonna feel like shit at this time. And I just think it's so cool. That's part of the reason I have this big spreadsheet, is because I want to detect that for myself. I don't want to just be like, oh, everyone told me I'm gonna feel like shit in this week. So I do feel like shit. No, no, no, not on my watch. I like to actually see how this plays out for me and monitoring this over the years. I've seen clear as day that my weight just does drop in that week leading into my cycle. And like I said, I feel it in my body a lot as well. And then pretty much the day that I get my period, or sometimes the day after, I'll see a big spike. So it'll just be like, okay, we dropped for a while and now we're back. Which again is just backing up my constant chat about temporary weight fluctuations. So if we come back to the spready, I then spent like four days with my period. I took weight once in that time and I hit a 67. So I was like, yep, okay, cool. I've just hit 67. Again, little things in my mind going, Rub is you're getting pretty close to where you would normally end a muscle gain phase. And you got um 17 weeks to go. So there is little like daunting things that pop up there. I might talk about them in a second. But if we keep looking through this, as I then moved away from actually having my period back down into the 66s. So 66.4, 66.6, 66.2, 66.2 again. So that is so cool to see because I've been through, what are we looking at here? Probably three weeks where you're like, oh my God, I've had days where it's pretty much jumped by a kilo. I've hit a 67, which is like, haven't seen that number for a really long time. And then having those thoughts of like, what if I keep going at this rate? How heavy am I gonna get? Like all of that shit. But then coming back and going, okay, cool. But then at the end of week three, I started this muscle gain phase at 65.8 and I'm now 66.2. So 400 grams up in three weeks at this point. I just want to let that one sink in for a second because it's so common for people to see these day-to-day fluctuations and then spiral into all those thoughts. It's too much, it's not enough. I should end it, I should drop the intake. Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I go back to the deficit? Like all this shit we've spoken about before. And this is exactly why I tell people to watch that trend over time. Do not question what the scale did from one day to the next. Don't question what the scale did the day after you went out for dinner. We know that these are temporary fluctuations and we are watching how it trends over time. And the other cool thing to look at here, and I think there is a bit of a lesson here, is I'm sitting on that gnarly intake of 2,800. I'm having some meals out in there, I'm having some days where I'm hitting 3,000. The overall average is sitting in 2,800. So often people have like one meal out and they think they've undone everything, or we put people on 2,100 calories and they think they're gonna blow up like so many things. And I just want to point out, guys, three weeks on 2,800 calories and she's up by 400 grams. And that's not to say everyone's gonna have that exact same response, and you might have had different phases or meals or occasions or whatever where you've seen different fluctuations. But I think cool to just like have this conversation and bring the awareness to being a little bit more open-minded and a bit more open to this stuff. Because again, so often people just freak out about one meal or a couple of days on a slightly higher intake and all these things. And it's just like not even enough to make a dint on your actual overall progress. But people overthink them so much or stress about them so much. So I just want to point out here I am, just pumping in the cows, going out for dinner, like making sure I'm hitting this surplus. And like I keep saying it's 400 grams. If we then come back, next thing I want to look at here, I was still on the weight, we're still on the spready. What I know is like my typical cycle with my weight throughout the month is like I said, big rapid drops as I come into like that week before my period, bit of a spike when I actually get my period, then it'll kind of just settle back down and hold quite steady for a couple of weeks. And then as I come into being two weeks out from my period, usually I see a big spike again and I feel it in my body. Like that is the time. I would say when I'm, like I said, probably two weeks out from my last period, two weeks till I get the next one. So when I'm around, say on like day 12 of my cycle, I'm looking at the spready, I would say probably day 12 up until like day 18, 19. So it's just that week in there where I can literally feel it in my body so much. I feel as big as a house. I feel like this is the week where I'm like, wow, you're pushing it too far, Robes. Wow, you can't wear short shorts anymore. And like side note goes, I'm not saying I can't wear short shorts, like it is literally all in my head. But firstly, I just want people to know that it's all in my head the same way it is everyone else's. I still feel these things. And it's very clear to me that it happens at this time. It always happens in that time in my cycle. And I actually see the weight spike on the scale as well. There's always a very clear spike at this time. And then I start to come back around to that week where it starts to drop again. So sitting here right now, I'm pretty much, I'd say, just starting to come out of the spike. And I'm gonna talk about the spike in a second. So it's gonna be really cool to see as I go through, I'd say like the next week, how my weight actually trends, and then seeing what that process has looked like or what that whole cycle has looked like once I've been through like a whole lap of my actual cycle in the surplus. Because what I then saw on the scale as I pretty much came to the end of week three, so just on the weekend, just gone, went out for dinner on the Saturday. Again, we did Mexican, it's just the vibe at the moment, and then didn't take weight on the Sunday. I could just feel in my body. I was like, I don't want to take this today. I did take it on the Monday, and I guess I want to segue into that for a second there, because like I just said, I experience all of these things the same way so many other females do. And that's something that I really want to catch during this surplus and give myself, I think it's important to give yourself like a little bit of grace, a little bit of compassion. If you just have a day where you're like, I don't want to take it, like I'm just not vibing it today, right? I think that's fine, but I don't want to get into the habit of doing that anytime I feel uncomfortable or anytime I'm thinking to myself, oh, I feel like the scale might be up today. I don't want to see it. I really, really want to intercept that because I really, really want to challenge my mindset and progress my mindset to be like, can it be okay that you see it and it goes up because you have a goal to gain weight, Ruby? And can't stress enough, guys. Like, I coach people on this, I talk to you guys about this, and I'm literally coaching myself through this. My natural reaction, my female reaction, whatever we want to call it, is to connect all the dots in my mind and go, I'm definitely feeling like I'm at my heaviest and kind of shittest part of my cycle, right? Let's just call it what it is. I also know, just knowing how well this cycle plays out for me, I also know that it probably is gonna be a heavy weight on the scale today, because it's just the time of the month that I see that. Knowing all of these things, that's where my natural reaction is just like, well, why would you take it? Like, don't, you don't want to see it. But then I've got to come over and go, yeah, but if I have a goal to gain weight, why is that a bad thing? Why would hopping on the scale and seeing that I've gained weight be a bad thing when I have a goal to gain weight? And that is, I feel like I'm almost in like a split personality with this at the moment. And it's cool. Like, it's cool to just sit in it and have the awareness and be piecing it together, where, like I said, my natural reaction just goes, I don't want to see it. And then I literally challenge myself and go, but why don't you want to see it? Because you saying you don't want to see it then kind of implies that it's a bad thing. But again, come back to the fact that you have a goal to gain muscle. So why would gaining weight and seeing that you've gained weight be a bad thing? I'm just constantly challenging my thoughts around this because I want to break that mentality or just that reactivity response that I have of being like, if the scale goes up, it's bad. Because again, it's like, no, it's not for the goal that you have, Rubes. So I don't want to let myself only do things that feel comfortable and feel good alongside that, because then I'm always gonna be left in that mentality. That's always gonna be my approach. And then I'm always going to, I said in that last episode, I'm always gonna cock block myself on really being able to build the physique that I want to build if I've still got this underlying belief that gaining weight is a bad thing. And even though in these times I'm not actually saying out loud or consciously thinking gaining weight is a bad thing, but the subconscious or underlying thing there is that because the, like I said, when I connect all the dots, it's like, well, I don't want to see the number today because I feel like that number will be higher. If I don't want to see a number when it's higher, I must think that that number is bad. Like there must be something in me that thinks that that would be a bad thing. So I really want to continue challenging that because I want to break that connection. I don't want to have a connection in my mind of like gaining weight is bad. And it's like my active conscious part of my brain has transcended that, but then my subconscious is still like, I don't want to see it. So I just wanted to point that out because I think there'd be a lot of females that are in the same position. Or I know we've got a lot of females where it's like your subconscious brain and your conscious brain still think it's a bad thing and you're trying to work through that. So that's fine. Like everyone's in a different place with this because of all of the conditioning and your history and what you've been through with scale weight and body image and all of that. We could talk about this all day. We have spoken about it for years, but I just think it's cool to point out what that's looking like for me and just how I'm challenging myself to push past that and get past that. So, because I really do believe, I actually have a note in my phone that I um sometimes when I'm training or I'm doing different shit, I just write down like one-liners that I think that's either gonna be a good Instagram caption or it's gonna be a good podcast, or something good is gonna come from that. And I wrote down a note in my phone the other day and it pretty much said like your ability to build your physique is gonna be determined by your ability to watch the scale go up. How well you're able to build your physique is gonna be determined by how well you're able to sit with the discomfort of the scale going up and eventually have it not be discomfort. That's the point. So that has just been something that's been pretty active in my mind. And I just thought, like, cool to look at because I know a lot of women would be navigating similar things in different ways and at different times, but just overall, really cool thing to look at. And then if we come back to the spreadsheet and the weight, so what I was saying there is like I knew I was at the time in my cycle where weight would spike, and then I also had been out for dinner the night before. So I woke up on the Sunday and was like, I'm not gonna wear myself today, right? But then on the Monday, I was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to just avoid it anytime it feels a little bit uncomfortable. That's where I want to challenge myself. And like I said before, you can meet yourself with a little bit of compassion on some days. Like, I don't want to force myself to take weight every day, but I also don't want to just avoid discomfort anytime it pops up. So on the Monday, I was like, yep, okay, cool, I'm gonna take weight. And this is where I saw a 67. So I'd seen the 67 already, and then I saw it again. The next day, I saw a 67.6. And I want to talk about this for a second because this comes back to my whole thing about temporary weight fluctuations. Because in my mind, I can then go in the last two days, it's jumped up by a kilo. If I was to look at that right there and go, okay, cool, I've gained a kilo in two days, that could average out to be three and a half kilos a week. If I want to do 20 weeks, that could be 70 kilos of weight gain. I'm just pausing to let people be like, did you say 70? Yes, I did. And what I want to look at there is exactly why we have to detach from temporary weight spikes. Because again, if I was to take that and run with it, I could literally cling to that narrative of, well, a kilo in two days is three and a half kilos in one week, and that's 70 kilos in 20 weeks. If I keep going at this rate, I'm going to be 70 kilos heavier by the end of my surplus. We know that's not true. I don't think I could put on 70 kilos in 20 weeks if someone paid me. I don't think that would be physically possible to do that. So that's just another cool example of the temporary weight fluctuation and not letting your mind run with those stories and cling to those things and be like, oh my God, it's moving too much. It's this, it's that, it's too much. I need to change the plan. And that's been a big thing for me. I'd say this is where I am super proud of myself. I've got a lot of awareness and I don't have too much emotion in moments like this. I'm able to go stay the course, Rubes, stay the course. You know, you know you're not going to gain three and a half kilos in a week. You know you're not going to gain 70 kilos in 20 weeks. You freaking know this. Do not let emotion tap in and make a decision here when you know better. And so this has just been over the last few days. So this is me kind of coming into the fourth week of the surplus and then thinking, okay, cool. Well, I'm now starting to come back towards that time in my cycle where I do see my weight start to make that rapid drop. I just know my body does that at that time. It's going to be very cool. Like side note, the next day I saw a 67.7. So the spiral could have continued if I was a person that would spiral. But then today, sitting here right now today, I saw 67.2. So a big 500 gram drop overnight. And then again, you're sitting here now going, okay, cool. Well, starting rate was 65.8. Currently sitting here, I'm 67.2. And I genuinely think it will drop a little bit more over the next few days, just knowing the way my body responds to different times of this cycle. I would say over the next few days, I'll probably move back to the 66s. And then I'm going to be in a position where I'm like, okay, cool, I've just done the month in the surplus and pretty much put on a kilo. Let's say it just trends back down into those high 66s over the next few days. Then I am going to be at the point where I'm like, I've done four weeks, I've done one month. I started in the high 65s, I'm now in the high 66s. If we then look at that, okay, cool. Well, if I'm doing five months, I'm looking at an average of a kilo a month, give or take. That is perfectly on point with the way I want this muscle gain phase to go and the rate of gain that I would want to see. So I think that's so cool to look at because if I am stepping back and going, okay, cool, I've gained a kilo in a month and that's perfect for the goal that I have. But if we were to look at all those numbers in that month, it's fluctuated between 2.7 kilos. Lightest I saw was 65, heaviest I've seen is 67.7, which again is just another perfect example of why we don't want to nitpick numbers from one day to the next or even from one week to the next. This is why I'm constantly saying step back and watch that overall trend and detect the overall trends, averages, etc. Because then you can step back and go, okay, cool. Well, at this rate, am I moving in the direction that I want to go roughly at the rate that I want to go there? Yes, I am perfect. If I was to cling to numbers and go, well, hang on, if I look at certain numbers here, I could say I've gained 2.7 kilos. Well, how convenient that you picked those numbers to look at. If we look at another two numbers, we might see that we've gained 600 grams. Which again is why we do not want to hand peek numbers to look at. We want to step back and look at the whole thing. And even sitting here right now, like I said, I've got the average at the bottom of the spreadsheet. The average is 66.2. So I started this at 65.8, and my average right now is 66.2. So we could look at that and go, she's gained 400 grams. So I just think there's some cool shit to look at there. I'd say the two like lessons to take from that is just using that as a really good example to not nitpick what the scale does from one day to another or even one week to another, but really stepping back to look at those overall trends. And then the other thing I just want to like really point out to people with similar goals is like I said, I sit in these moments, I jump on the scale and see these 600 gram spikes. I do the maths in my head and go, well, what if that was 70 kilos? Like all of these things. But I also continue to come back and go, Rubes, you have a goal to gain muscle. You are gaining weight at a rate, when we look at the average and the trend and everything that you tell everyone else to look at, when you look at that yourself, you are gaining weight at a rate that supports the goal that you have. So even though there's moments where your emotions kick in for a second, or your reactivity kicks in for a second, or you're just wired to go, is that too much? Is that not enough? Should I change the plan? Et cetera. Coming back constantly to logic and just being like, what is actually going on here? And is it in support of the goal that I have? Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And I can't stress enough, I could not be more invested in this goal, like in a positive way, in a healthy way. Like, never in my life have I just been so insanely sure of a goal and a phase and everything. And it's just like in a way that I'm very motivated and I'm very focused on it, but I'm also very calm and very patient. I'm like, oh my god, I love this. I'm obsessed with this. Like, I could not feel better about this goal. But I also know that the way I'm going to progress through this and achieve this is with patience and like one foot in front of the other, take off the training, take off the nutrition each day. When you have that big element of focus and motivation, and I'm so pumped for the end result and all of these things, it is so important to bring that back and go, so what do I have to do today? Because it's so easy to live in that motivated state and in the hype of like, what's the eventual end goal gonna be? What's all this gonna look like, etc.? But you have to constantly bring that back and go, okay, cool. If I'm so freaking committed to that end goal, what do I need to do today? And there'll be people listening that don't have a big end goal right now, they're not in a big phase, you're not working towards something huge, which is totally fine. If you're just at a point with your nutrition training where you're like, no, I'm just good and I'm like pretty chilled and I'm enjoying training and I'm pretty consistent with food, like life's good. That's awesome. Like I've I'd say I would have spent the last two years like that. But now I've just come round to this new goal and I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. She's amped. Like I am amped for this. And I feel like there's so many more things to get into, but I spent a long time on the Skateway stuff. But I just thought there was some really cool shit to look at there. So I think I might wrap this episode up in a second and then I'll record the next one pretty soon with like a quick little update on how all of that weight and progress and everything has continued to trend. But then I'll also talk a little bit more maybe about training because I know I didn't get into training at all today, which is like the key factor of the muscle gain phase. But I will definitely touch on that really soon. There is just one more thing I wanted to say when I've been like thinking all these things and thinking about doing these episodes. Part of me, I literally go into two minds again, where part of me just goes, like, do we even need to have a conversation around this? Because it's not that deep. Right? Like, I look at things like scale weight and being like, oh, you were 65 and now you're 67, Rubs. Who gives a flying F? It's not that deep. But then I also come over and go, Well, I've worked with hundreds, if not thousands, of women over the last 15 years, and it is that deep. Like scale weight, body image, diet culture, any or all of these things can be so deep for so many people. And then when I come over to the people that I specifically work with, obviously in it like Ruby, we work with a lot of athletes and performance girls. They don't think too much about this stuff, which is awesome. That's very refreshing. But then when I work with a lot of gym girls, I'd say I work with a lot of gym girls that are very similar to me, where you might have spent parts of your life just thinking about eating less, weighing less, like training to lose weight, etc. And then you've started to learn heaps about this stuff. And now you're like, no, I do want to build my shape. I do want to get after my lifts and all of that. That is awesome. Obviously, that is me. I love seeing girls move in that direction, like it's so cool. But I think this is where we can see people just kind of have those conflicting things of like, well, I spent my whole life trying to weigh less, but now I'm trying to build muscle. I need to be open-minded to weighing a bit more or seeing these fluctuations and things like that. And it can be quite deep for people. So I would think if people were thinking, like, Rubs, it's not that deep, you're probably not still gonna be here at the 45-minute mark. But I even have these thoughts with myself where it's like, do I waste my time recording a podcast about that? And probably more importantly, do I waste other people's time recording a podcast about that? But then anytime I do these episodes, so many people, even just especially my clients, like so many of my girls are like, Rubs, I needed to hear that. So it's such a funny one where yeah, part of me just goes, Does anyone need to hear this? But then I'm like, well, I think she would and she would and she would. And then people reach out to me and they're like, Yes, I needed to hear that. So yeah, I feel like at times part of me goes, wow, this is so trivial. Like it's just scale weight. Are we really gonna care when we're all on our deathbed? But then at the same time, like on your way to your deathbed, I've watched women spend so many years in a really shitty place with this because no one talks about it, because no one talks about like navigating it in different ways and stuff. So yeah, I do get into two minds where I'm like, shut up, Rubes, no one cares. And then people are like, no, Rubes, I care, keep talking. So that's just another little insight into the Eat Lack Ruby brain. But I think there's definitely more to talk about with the surplus and the muscle gain stuff. And like I keep saying, I do want to do more regular, real-time updates just to be like, this is what it's currently looking like, guys, and just talking through the whole process as it happens. At some point, I might do like a QA app on the muscle gain. Um, sometimes I don't like to do that because people hijack it with a bunch of fat loss questions. And I'm like, mother effer, I said muscle gain. Um, but we'll see. I think there could be some cool questions out there. So I might chuck that up on my Instagram story at some point. But But in the meantime, I will be back very soon. You guys know I got plenty more to say. Have a great day. I will talk to you then.