Ep #72 - 🌞 Your Summer, Your Rules

In this episode, I’m giving you full permission to ditch the pressure and plan a summer that actually works for you.  Whether you’re juggling work and kids or just trying to stop the guilt before it starts, this is your invitation to create a summer that feels intentional—not impossible.

We’ll cover:

• How to set a realistic, compassionate intention for the holidays
• Simple ways to plan ahead (without turning into a scheduling robot)
• Why saying “no” is sometimes the kindest thing you can do
• And how letting go of perfection creates so much more ease and connection

No pressure. No Pinterest-perfect expectations. Just your summer, your way.

🎧 Tune in now and start planning a summer that feels calm, spacious, and yours.

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingMumsLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

Welcome, welcome, welcome to this week's podcast. And it's funny, actually, before I get into this podcast, I want to talk to you all about the summer holidays, especially if you've got kids.
But what's really funny is, as I started to record, I looked behind me, and I was like, oh, when I came onto Zoom, I looked behind me, I'm like, oh my gosh, my background is not perfect.
Like, I've got clean ta they're clean towels. I do have some standards.
But I don't know what this thing is here, this, like. Foam board that my son loves to shoot his target practice at. I think there's goggles.
There's yoga mats in the background, and I was like, ooh! It really should be perfect. But ironically. I was gonna come on to talk to you about the summer holidays, and one of the things I wanted to talk about was how.
To stop trying to make it perfect. So I felt, actually I'm going with Real, honest.
Background, because life is not perfect. Neither is that our goal.
So, I'm leaving it there, even though there's part of me that's twitching.
I think you're gonna love me more for it. And. This is the whole point of this podcast is to be real, right? So, let's go with the real.

So, I wanted to talk to you this week about the summer holidays, especially you have children, so we're talking school summer holidays here.
And. I don't know about you.
But I. Actually really love.
This school holidays. But I know that most other people don't feel this way.
They're stressing out about. Entertaining their children.
There's this kind of. Mix of.
Oh, or this combination of, like, excitement, or ju like, looking forward to having, not to do the school run.
, and having the kids around for a bit. And then the overwhelm and the guilt that may be because you have to work.
And what are the kids gonna do while you're working? So, I'm really aiming this podcast at you if you have.
Older children, and by older children, I mean kind of. 8 and above.
Because when you've got little, little people. They do need eyes on.
Now, you can plan that ahead of time. You could this this podcast will help you as well, but.
I'm kind of thinking more of the older children, but. I'll just talk to you, and you can take what you want from it.
But it's going into for me, it's going into the summer holidays.
, and deciding ahead of time. What do I want this summer to be like?
So, personally, I absolutely love, love, love the fact that we don't have any school runs.
There's more of a freedom of time. There's you're not constricted in.
Being somewhere at a certain point. I'm very fortunate that my boys get on very well, so very, very.
Very rarely do they bicker or fall out, so I know that I'm incredibly fortunate.
I know I'm incredibly fortunate. However. I am actually going to take full credit for that. My husband and I, because we made sure that they didn't bicker. It's something I don't do, it's something I have zero tolerance for, so we have actually brought them up not to bicker, and we're paying the.
Twice of that now, in a good way, right? We're reaping the rewards from it.
So, but if you have children that bicker, if you maybe you work full-time, maybe.
, you know, you're going into the summer with that, oh, it would be nice to be relaxed, have a bit of relaxing time with the kids.
But how the hell am I gonna juggle actually working? This is what I'd like you to do. First of all.
First of all, take a really nice deep breath. The summer holidays are not a life-threatening scenario. I know your brain likes to think they are, I know when you talk to your mates and other mums, it's like, oh my god, it's gonna be terrible.
But it's actually not. And by engaging in that dialogue with yourself or with others just fuels that negative fire, so.
There's your first tip. I don't engage in that kind of dialogue with anybody.
I choose to look forward to the summer holidays. And here's why. Because I know I am responsible for how I experience it.
So when I take that responsibility, I then feel in control.
And that's not to say I'm always gonna feel joyous. There may be times when I feel frustrated, especially when I'm trying to work and the internet is being pulled in.
To, like, 8 different devices. That's gonna be frustration, and that's okay. That is okay.
I am not saying that going into the summer holidays should be this beautiful Mother Earth, joyous, loving.
Time, because it fucking won't be. At times. However.
Looking to the summer holidays. Ahead of time, and deciding.
What do I want to do this summer? Who do I want to be?
How do I want to feel at the end of the summer?
And what do I want to remember? Like, let's get really deliberate about how you want to move towards the next few weeks.
So my boys have still got 3 weeks at school. , so I've got time to think this through, but making that decision and planning ahead of time.
Actually gives you so much more freedom. So, if you haven't planned your time yet.
Once you've worked out and defined for yourself what you want your summer to look like.
Maybe even putting something in there for yourself. And set that intention.
Then you go to Planning. And I would actually give yourself a scheduled amount of time to plan. So sit give yourself an hour and go, right, I'm fully focusing on what the summer's gonna look like in this hour.
And the further in advance of the summer holidays you do this, the more chances are you are of gonna have availability availability for kids' clubs, or.
Other people looking after your kids, or maybe doing. Doing a swap. You know, you have somebody else's kids and they have your kids.
Like, deciding ahead of time. What you want to do, and when you want to do it. Especially if you're going to continue working, or you have to continue working.
Could you condense your hours into. Longer days, but so that you only work 2 or 3 days.
Is that available to you? Could you get up early, do some hours.
Be with the kids during the day, do some hours in the evening.
You actually get to decide how you are going to spend your time.
You cannot. Manage time. You can't create more of it, you can't create less of it.
But you can manage you around how you spend your time, and that takes conscious planning.
So what I've decided to do, for example, is I've taken away all of my business fluff.
For the summer holidays, I'm condensing my coaching down to two days.
So I'm gonna have two longer days. And then I'm going to be more available for the boys.
Not that they're really going to want to do it, because actually all they want to do is play their games, right? But still, you know.
The intention. The intention is there. To do that, and I've given myself permission to do that.
So when you plan ahead of time. And you decide where you're gonna focus your energy.
That starts to create the control. So, first of all, setting your intention. What do you want the summer to be like?
Two, planning ahead for that. And then three, I would love.
To give you the permission to say. No.
Ooh, how do you feel when you hear that? You know, and it could be, like.
That short-term discomfort is saying, oh, thanks so much for thinking of us, but this week's already pretty full, so.
You know, maybe another time. Or, you know, that scan's great, but we've decided to do something, or.
I'm gonna say no. To working every single day, because I want to say.
Having time with my children. And so.
Saying no to others. Is actually you saying yes to you and your family.
And you can decide this ahead of time as well. This isn't about being rigid with a timeframe.
You can plan in flexibility, you can plan in relaxation. You can plan in.
To say no. It's something that is available for you, and yes, I know.
It will be really uncomfortable. When you practice saying it, and when you actually say it, but that discomfort is going to create so much more comfort over the summer holidays.
And then finally. Let it be imperfect.
If you're going into this summer holiday thinking you need to work 24-7, you need to entertain the kids 24-7, your kids need to have wholesome activities to do 24-7.
, you want to spend time with your husband 24-7. The house needs to look perfect 24-7, and if you're looking at me on YouTube, you can see that it's not.
You are gonna have a really shit summer, and it's impossible.
It is impossible to keep everybody happy, that is not your job.
Your job is to keep you happy. So that you are then such a better version of you for your kids, for your partner.
For whoever you want to spend your summer holidays with. So, give yourself permission.
To let it be imperfect. Give yourself permission for your kids to be on.
Their screens may be a bit longer than you'd like to.
Or accept that if you want them outdoors doing wholesome activities, know that there's gonna be a meltdown at times.
Know that they're gonna bicker at times. Know that it's not going to be perfect. It can't be perfect, so take that pressure off yourself.
For it to be. And go into the summer holidays with a willingness.
For it to be imperfect.
It's kind of all I want to say to you. So, I will just repeat the points again.
Set an intention with compassion. Like, choose ahead of time. How do you want your summer to be?
Plan ahead of time. Plan it now. The more you plan ahead, the more chance you've got of availability.
And this is interesting, actually, because I was looking at a campsite the other day, and we actually missed out on going to France this year to a campsite we wanted to go to, because we left it too late, so I didn't.
I didn't plan ahead enough. But we sort of stick our head in the sand, don't we, and go, oh, I don't want to do it, I don't want to do it, it's a big, scary shit, and then the kids' cubs are.
Fully booked, and the campsites are fully booked, and. All the things. So plan ahead of time through that.
Through that lens of it not needing to be perfect. Give yourself permission to say no.
And then let it be imperfect. Let your summer. Be perfectly imperfect.
Because that's how life is. And when you drop that expectation, you will have.
So much more of a fulfilling. Present content.
Summer. I'm actually choosing to take a break, like I said, and I'm doing an episode all on taking a break.
, for you next week. What I was then inspired to do, because I was going to take a complete break from the podcast as well, but what I was really inspired to do is actually pre-record 8.
Midi, bite-size episodes that would be perfect to fit into your busy.
Summer. Or not busy, if that's what you're gonna plan time for.
So, look out for those over the summer holidays. I've already recorded them, , I just need to sit and schedule them.
And I'm delighted to bring them to you, because they are.
Short. Really short. No bullshit. Very loving. Little bite-sized podcast for you to soak up.
Hopefully, with some beautiful British sun, or wherever you are in the world.
So that's what I have for you this week. If you've enjoyed this episode and you've found it useful, please forward it with love and compassion onto a friend that needs to hear it.

I would love it if you could review the podcast so that it gets exposed to more people, because.

The more people review and comment and like. The podcast people will push it out to more people to hear, so I would be very grateful if you would be willing to give me a review on whatever podcast platform you listen to this. 

I will talk to you again next week about taking a break. Have the most amazing week.

I'll see you all again next week. Bye-bye!