Ep #76 - Summer mini-series - The power of sayin 'no'

One of the tiniest words in the English language… and yet saying no feels bloody impossible sometimes.

In this bite-sized episode of the summer mini-series, I’m inviting you to take on a life-changing challenge: Say no. Once a day. Every day. Just one small, deliberate, loving no.

Whether it’s turning down a biscuit, pushing back on that unnecessary work meeting, or telling your teen they can grab their own snack—this isn’t about being rude. It’s about retraining your brain to realise that saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you an empowered one.

This is not a time management issue—it’s a people-pleasing issue. It’s your brain trying to keep you in the “tribe” to stay safe and liked. But here’s the truth: every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, you’re saying no to something you really do want to do.

So, this week, join me. Say no. Celebrate the hell out of it. And start creating space for the things that actually matter to you.

🎉 Go on, do a little dance every time you say no—you’ve earned it.

Let’s reclaim your time, your energy, and your power.

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingMumsLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

I was going to have a break. From podcasting over the summer season. And then, I had this idea about creating a whole little mini-series, a summer mini-series.

And I have been so inspired by this thought that I've… just pre-recorded 8 very short, absolutely no bullshit, incredibly loving mini… podcast episodes.

I don't want you just to listen to them, I want you to listen to them, and then practice it!

I really want to invite you to take this summer to listen to this bite-sized short episode and apply what I'm teaching in it.

And then just get fascinated at what shift that creates in your life over this 8 weeks.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will see you when I'm back in September!

Episode

Okay, this literally will be life-changing for you. I mean, I actually think everything I teach you will be life-changing, but this one especially, how to say… No. One of the smallest words in the English language, and yet we cannot find the courage to say it. So I have a challenge for you.

This week, I challenge you every single day… to say no to something. It doesn't matter what you're saying no to. It could be a biscuit, it could be saying no to writing a report, it could be saying no to going out, it could be saying, not this time to someone who's invited you somewhere that you don't really want to go.

It could be saying no to your children when they ask you to go and get them something, when actually they're old enough to go and get it themselves.

Practice saying no. Because what that will do is it will teach your brain that saying no is not a problem.

We are all natural people pleasers. If you consider hundreds of thousands of years ago, when we lived in caves, we needed to be part of a pact to survive.

We needed to be part of a tribe, because if we were isolated, we would have perished and we would have died.

So that primitive part of your brain desperately wants to keep you safe, desperately wants to keep you part of a pack.

Which is why saying no is so scary. Because we need to keep everybody happy.

And it's bullshit. In our modern day, you are not responsible for keeping everybody happy.

The only person you're responsible for is keeping you happy. And so many people are like, oh, I don't have enough time, I don't have enough time, I need to plan my time better, I need to do this better.

No, you fucking don't! You just need to learn how to say no.

Or… You say, especially in the workplace, “I really want to engage in that conversation. I'm busy right now, can we have it at 2 o'clock this afternoon?” Or, “I'd absolutely love to do that piece of work for you. I've got other priorities today, but I could look at it Tuesday at 2 o'clock.”

That's not saying no, but it's saying no to doing it now, and yes to doing it later.

Just consider this for a second. When you are unwilling to say no to something you don't want to do, what are you then actually saying no to is something you do want to do.

So, think about this, say you get invited out for an evening, you're like, oh, I really just want to have some me time, I want to just sit on the sofa, give myself a facial.

Maybe paint my nails, you know, watch Chris Hemsworth and Limitless.

And I just… I just want some quiet time. When you are willing to say no to that invitation to go out, you are actually saying no to your own time. So you are saying no.

You can say no. You're saying no all the time, but you're saying no to things you want to do, and you're not willing to say no to the things that you do want to do.

This is not a judgement, this is not a reason to beat yourself up further.

This is a reason to understand that you are human, we are naturally designed to people-please, but you do not have to say yes to everything.

It's not a time management issue. It's a saying no issue.

And the only way you get good at saying no is by actually saying no.

So this week, I challenge you, even if it's the smallest little no. I challenge you to say no to something every single day, and then very deliberately… Do a little dance. Celebrate! You said no to something.

Which meant you said yes to something you really want to do. Celebrate that. It'll feel weird. It'll feel odd. It'll feel really unusual. But the more you do it, the better you get at doing it.

Especially the celebration. 

Have an amazing week, see you next week. Bye!