Ep #77 - Summer mini-series - How to Make Decisions Without the Drama

Welcome back to the Summer Mini-Series – eight short, powerful, no-nonsense podcast episodes created to keep your mindset nourished through the summer months. I wasn’t planning to record anything over the holidays… and then I had an idea. A mini-series. Short, loving, no-BS coaching you can actually use. So here we are.

In Episode 4, we’re talking about decisions – why they trip you up, how your brain makes them harder than they need to be, and how to move forward without fear or regret.

Here’s the truth: decisions are made in a split second. It’s all the second-guessing, researching, pros-and-cons-ing and “what-if-ing” that drags them out and feeds your self-doubt. Especially when your inner critic starts whispering, “What if you get it wrong?”

This episode will teach you how to stop making decisions from fear, and instead make them from trust, confidence and kindness towards yourself. You’ll learn how to decide with clarity, set a timer (yes, really), and adopt a win-or-learn mindset that makes failing... not a thing.

If you’ve been listening from the beginning, you’ve already started rewiring your brain – your primal brain doesn’t get to call the shots anymore. It’s time to back yourself and get on with it.

Take this 10 minutes. Listen. Then practice. And just watch what changes.

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingWomensLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

I was going to have a break. From podcasting over the summer season. And then, I had this idea about creating a whole little mini-series, a summer mini-series.

And I have been so inspired by this thought that I've… just pre-recorded 8 very short, absolutely no bullshit, incredibly loving mini… podcast episodes.

I don't want you just to listen to them, I want you to listen to them, and then practice it!

I really want to invite you to take this summer to listen to this bite-sized short episode and apply what I'm teaching in it.

And then just get fascinated at what shift that creates in your life over this 8 weeks.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will see you when I'm back in September!

Episode

Okay, let's talk about how to make decisions. When I coach my clients on decision-making, the biggest fear that comes up is, I'll make the wrong decision.

And then, what they'll make it mean in the future, should they not have the desired outcome that they wanted.

Or… they're gonna beat themselves up. So when you come across a decision, what's fascinating is that you're actually currently worried about something that you're gonna choose to do in the future.

Well, if you've been listening to my summer miniseries, and you've learned about your primal brain, and you've learned about speaking kindly to yourself.

And you've learned about how to say no. You could decide that you have your own back no matter what.

And when you go into making a decision, you go in with a win or learn attitude. As in, I'm gonna win, and I'm gonna get the desired result.

The desired outcome, or I'm going to learn something that I am going to tweak and implement next time. So there's no failing.

There is no getting it wrong. There is only ever win.

Or there's learning. I can't remember the guy that wrote about it.

It's one of the strategic coaches. His name comes to me, I'll put it in the show notes, but he talks about decisions being a door.

So, if you're walking through the door, so the door is the decision, if you're making that decision, you're walking through the door, and you can come back through the door, so it's a two-way door. You can go through it, and you can come back.

You don't need to spend any time on that decision, you just need to try something.

If, however, you're going to walk through that door. And there's no turning back. You can't come back on that decision.

That's when it requires a little bit more thought.

So here's my tips for decision making. Set a timer.

Because making a decision happens in a split second. We think it takes hours, days, months.

But it doesn't. It happens in a split second. And what takes the time is you thinking.

Researching, weighing up pros and cons. The problem with that is… the longer you do that, the more your primitive brain is going to take over, and your primitive brain is negative, so it's always gonna create more negativity, which makes the decision harder.

So, giving yourself more time doesn't make the decision any easier. If anything, it makes it more complex.

And you can only make a decision based on the information you know today.

And if you're learning to be kind to yourself, and you've started to learn and decide, I'm not going to beat myself up anymore, you don't then have to be frightened of what you're gonna do to yourself should you not get the desired outcome.

So then there's nothing to fear. There is nothing to fear.

When you start to improve that relationship with yourself, and you have your back in making decisions.

So decisions are made in a split second. If you can come back on the decision, just try it. See what happens. You're gonna win, or you're gonna learn.

If you can't come back on that decision, give yourself a bit of time, set a timer, decide, right, I'm going to research it for a week, but then by this date, that decision is going to be made one way or another, and then choosing, I am not going to beat myself up on the other side, should I not get the desired outcome.

I hope this helps. Another thing, actually, before I pop off.

You're making decisions every single day. So this thought, I'm not good at making decisions, or I can't make a decision, or I overthink when making decisions is bullshit. Because you decide to get out of bed, you decide to brush your teeth, you decide what you're gonna wear, you decide what you're gonna eat, you decide what route you're gonna drive to work, you decide what you're gonna do, you decide what you're gonna say. You are constantly making decisions multiple times a day.

So, I am not very good at making decisions is a lie that you're telling yourself, because you do it all the time.

You just don't always beat yourself up for those decisions. And if you're deciding never to beat yourself up again, and I highly invite you to do that.

It's only ever win or learn. Have an amazing week.

If you want to make this a challenge, every single day.

Make a decision consciously and deliberately, and choose not to beat yourself up afterwards for it. Have a wonderful week. Bye-bye!