Ep #85 - From Stuck to Steady: Zita’s Coaching Journey

Zita didn’t plan to hire a coach—she trusted her gut after we connected through networking at a time she felt discombobulated following her mum’s passing.

In this candid client chat, she shares how our work blended practical accountability with mindset and emotional literacy, and how tiny, doable shifts built real momentum. 

We talk about the simple tools she now uses—diary tweaks, decluttering, clear commitments—and the feelings work no one had taught her before. Expect real talk: tears and laughter, zero fluff, and plenty of “make it neutral” moments (yes, the packing story!) that turned everyday friction into progress. 

Zita explains what changed: more self-trust, steadier energy, and practical tools she can return to whenever life gets busy. 

If you’re on the fence about coaching, her advice is straightforward: have a conversation and see if it fits. 

Zita's details are...

 www.zitaalves.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/zita-alves/

https://www.instagram.com/fitnesszita/

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingWomensLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

Nicky Bevan: Welcome. My friends, to this week's podcast, and I have got Zita joining me today, who has been a client of mine, we think, since November.

Nicky Bevan: I probably should have checked up the facts before I actually got on.

Nicky Bevan: To have this conversation, but Zita and I were just playing with our filters, so if you're watching on Zoom.

Nicky Bevan: I put on the Profile what was it called? Profile something. So, it's

Nicky Bevan: I'm wondering if my lighting is a bit more zuju, and a bit more.

Nicky Bevan: Posh than normal. But it's really funny, because if you are looking on YouTube, I'm just going to show you the reality. My background actually looks quite fairly decent.

Nicky Bevan: And then if I actually move out the way and move my thing down, then I have the reality of life, which is.

Nicky Bevan: My son's big, huge Snorlax teddy. That he's sleeping on down here whilst we decorate his lounge. So this is the realities of life, isn't it? Your professional image, and then the reality of life behind you. So we've just been having fun with that, but

Nicky Bevan: The reason why I invited Zeta on today is because She's been a client of mine for just over 7 months now, 8 months.

Nicky Bevan: And I just wanted you all to hear. In her words, how she's found coaching with me, because I think it's

Nicky Bevan: I know the power of coaching. I have my opinion about it, but I think when you hear other people's way of describing it and their experience.

Nicky Bevan: It just might land a bit different, maybe inspire some of you to take action, should that be.

Nicky Bevan: What you need right now. But basically, we're just gonna have a conversation about your journey.

Nicky Bevan: And my battery light has just started flashing. That is very inconvenient.

Nicky Bevan: Hang on a minute.

Nicky Bevan: Can you still hear me? Okay, cool. So the sound might not be so good on my end, because my.

Nicky Bevan: Battery pack has just died with my microphone, so if my husband starts singing in the background, you're gonna have him on this as well, too.

Nicky Bevan: We're going with life's imperfections today, Zeta! Hello!

Zita Alves: Yeah. Hello!

Nicky Bevan: So we've already had a little discussion, we've already done the how I use today, so we've gone past all of that

Nicky Bevan: So, do you want to maybe start by telling me, if you can remember.

Nicky Bevan: What you were like. Pre-coaching, and what kind of started you thinking, actually, I think coaching might be something I want to try?

Zita Alves: Well, I hadn't actually planned. To do any coaching with you. It kind of happened.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: So, I remember seeing you talk at Women Mean Biz., you were doing a talk about.

Zita Alves: Whatever it was you were talking about, and I just remember you, very confident and, impactful. I just remember you from then And then we met networking.

Zita Alves: In our group, and we had a one-to-one., and it and it well, it was the time that my mum had died, and so I was feeling quite, discombobulated, really, anyway. But I hadn't planned on coaching, and we just had that chat, and I just remember thinking.

Zita Alves: Yeah, it feels I think I think I want to work with Nikki.

Zita Alves: , and I just. Yeah, totally hand-planned it, so whatever that conversation was, I can't remember what it was, it just felt like, yeah, this is what I need to do.

Zita Alves: , I've never really had a coach, to be honest, and

Zita Alves: So, yeah, so I just, was. Feeling a little bit stuck.

Zita Alves: , lots going on. I mean, it was obviously a time of change with Mum passing away and things, so

Zita Alves: , yeah, and we've just kind of, over the months. We've touched lots of different areas, it wasn't like there was one big thing that I wanted to go through, and I've I've learned a lot.

Zita Alves: The more you do, the more you learn, and you don't know what you don't know, isn't it, really?

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , so, yeah, there's definitely I say now, I'd think. What would Nikki say?

Zita Alves: Because you don't give me the answers, that's for sure., dang it .

Nicky Bevan: That would be so easy for us, wouldn't it?

Zita Alves: So, yeah, so I've been challenged, and it's been good, because I've been challenged to really think, and I remember you saying to me.

Zita Alves: You look after your physical body really well, but you don't really spend time, you don't seem to have spent time.

Zita Alves: , ever really thinking about your. Emotional health, as such.

Zita Alves: And it's true, no one's ever really talked to me about that, never really done it

Zita Alves: And it's really quite difficult, I think., just.

Zita Alves: You know, there were things you were asking me where I might feel something in my body, and it's like, actually, I don't really know.

Zita Alves: So, yeah, it's been it's been. It's been challenging.

Zita Alves: And you have to put the work in., and I haven't been perfect at doing that, but I've definitely.

Zita Alves: Feel like I've got some really good tools now, and I do stop and think.

Zita Alves: Yeah, I can kind of come up with the answer, because

Zita Alves: I've had to you've shown me how to be thinking about things and come up with the answer, really.

Zita Alves: , and but one thing I was going to say was.

Zita Alves: For me, it's been really good to have somebody there. We all need someone to be accountable to, and we've done some actual quite practical things, haven't we? And that's been really useful for the accountability. So yeah, so it's been kind of.

Zita Alves: A real mixture of things.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah, because I do feel, for you, we're not going to go into any personal details, are we, in this in this podcast, but I do feel like we have touched on.

Nicky Bevan: Quite a number of different areas in your life. We've done very, like you say, very practical, process-driven things, and then we've also done mindset.

Nicky Bevan: And emotions. . I'm curious, what did you when you say it's it was challenging and it's difficult.

Nicky Bevan: In what way? Is it challenging?

Zita Alves: Because it because it's, like, something I've never done. A bit like, you know, if I'm working with someone to get them to do some strength training, if they've never done it's gonna feel challenging.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , and if it didn't, you know, they wouldn't make progress, and there's no.

Zita Alves: You know, you need to be doing things that are challenging you to keep progressing forward. So, whether it's an emotional or a physical thing.

Zita Alves: So yeah, to really think about, like. You know, oh, how what do I feel? Or

Zita Alves: What are my beliefs on this thing? Or, maybe things like stopping in fact, stopping and thinking about something, and not just doing it

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , is also. Quite can be a challenge when you've just gone through your life doing, and not really stopping and thinking about certain things, or really feeling it in your body.

Zita Alves: , so yeah, they are unfamiliar things, really, and just learning some like, anything, like, learning new skills, it's

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: It takes time and practice, and I definitely I'm still practicing things, and still getting.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah. And I love how you've said any learning any new skill. I really do think that the process of getting coached is also learning the skill of managing your own mind and your own emotions. I really believe that it's a

Zita Alves: .

Nicky Bevan: A skill that no one teaches us. It is available to all of us.

Zita Alves: No. Yeah.

Nicky Bevan: , and it doesn't necessarily take time. In the traditional sense of hours, minutes, but it takes consciousness, it takes very deliberate.

Nicky Bevan: Consciousness, to check yourself, give yourself that moment to go, hang on a minute.

Nicky Bevan: How am I feeling? What is this belief that's just come up?

Nicky Bevan: What has been the impact of you learning that for yourself?

Zita Alves: , that I, I can.

Zita Alves: Control things. I've always been aware that, you know, I

Zita Alves: We react to certain things in the world, don't we? You know, we all react differently, but I suppose.

Zita Alves: , it's just that I can maybe. Change my change my state, I suppose, in a way, by, really just stopping and thinking how I feel.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Let's just use a just a funny example of packing. You know, my.

Zita Alves: My I've tried to tell myself that I Enjoy packing for holidays and things.

Zita Alves: , and I remember you saying. Because really, I hate it

Zita Alves: And I just remember you saying, I don't have to necessarily love it, but I can be neutral about it's like, okay, it's just packing.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: And I can learn to be, like, okay, I can deal with that

Zita Alves: , which sounds really ridiculous and really simple. But sometimes you just need to really think about it in a different way.

Zita Alves: , and, you know, that's just one example, really, of something that seems small, but it can really affect.

Zita Alves: So much more. So

Nicky Bevan: Well, especially if you like going away, and you like having your weekends away, and you like going on holidays.

Nicky Bevan: We I always think it's fascinating when people go, oh yeah, but that's really minor and insignificant, but actually, when they shift.

Nicky Bevan: Even if it's just to neutral. It has such a nicer impact on your day-to-day, and it's actually the small what seems insignificant things make the biggest impact when we shift them.

Zita Alves: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Yeah, and I'd not I'd not really heard of that about Megacy Neutral.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: You know, realizing that it doesn't have to be great., and, that it you can just not dislike it anymore, but it can be neutral. It's like, okay, that's.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I love that

Zita Alves: That's fantastic. And that can be on anything, can't it?

Nicky Bevan: So, what do you think was. An unexpected.

Nicky Bevan: Kind of bonus. When you when you've learned having learned.

Nicky Bevan: Like, mind and emotional management.

Zita Alves: .

Zita Alves: Well. I'm just gonna come back to a practical example, really, of, like, you've helped me get rid of.

Zita Alves: Declutter., well, she does go back, let's get something else. So, trying to look at the way I manage my diary is one thing.

Zita Alves: And I am old-school paper girl. And I'm not entirely sure this is your question, but anyway, I remember you saying.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Trying to get it online, etc. That's reminding me that my brain is not gonna like it, because it's new, and that it's not threatening, but my brain will feel like that

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , and, I'm not 100% convinced whether I'm a paper girl or not, so the jury's out, but

Zita Alves: As you pointed out, you know, any anything. Is going to feel uncomfortable while you're.

Zita Alves: Transitioning, and, you know, your body's trying to do your brain's doing everything to protect you, even if it is just trying to protect that little paper diary that you love so much.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , so that's just that's just one thing. But, in terms of letting go of things, it was.

Zita Alves: It was easier to let go of things., when you, kind of.

Zita Alves: Challenged me, I suppose, to, you know, really ask deep down, do I really need this thing I'm trying to let go of whatever it is.

Zita Alves: , and it was a lot easier to. It was a lot easier to do with someone there really questioning you.

Zita Alves: But I still did it, yeah? I've still done the work, you've just been there.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: In your very, down-to-earth approach, which is what I like.

Zita Alves: No fluff. . That helped me get stuff done, so it's been really yeah, it's been it's I feel like I've made progress with a lot of things.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah, brilliant. And what has been the What has been the impact of that progress on you?

Zita Alves: Well, I've got more momentum now, so, you know, rather than feeling blocked and stuck by XYZ.

Zita Alves: I can see I can see where I can do things, and if I'm not doing them, that's down to me.

Zita Alves: But I've got the tools and the skills and the, and the kind of evidence that I can do these things.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: So, that's just really useful, you know, and I've got, you know, I've got all the notes of everything we've gone through, because not everything is in my head, you know, I still.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Kind of process out and certain things, so I've got that at any time to refer back onto as well, so if I get.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Stuck. Yeah, that's.

Nicky Bevan: Amazing. So, how would you describe. Your coaching journey.

Zita Alves: I didn't know what I was getting into. I just went, yeah!

Zita Alves: Really? .

Nicky Bevan: To that decision. Did you just or did you just know that's something you wanted to experience?

Zita Alves: Oh, I just I just I always trust my gut, totally.

Zita Alves: Totally., I just knew, it just felt right, it just felt right, really.

Zita Alves: People by people, so, you know. The same conversation with someone that I didn't really feel right with. I may not have had coaching, and I may still be where I was, so

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , yeah, I just kind of. I

Zita Alves: I suppose, you know, it is a pivotal thing, losing your mum is quite a pivotal thing.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: And that's that's, you know, maybe it was meant to be.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: And you've taught me it's okay to feel emotions, and I don't have a problem, like, I don't have a problem crying, and I've cried a lot over the last 12 months.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , and that's not a problem. Really, but sometimes.

Zita Alves: You know, really describing your emotions. I think we all kind of know what sadness is.

Zita Alves: But there's other emotions, we don't always we can't always label them, and I remember you going through one thing about different.

Zita Alves: Emotions that you could have, and I just thought, my God, I never really thought about any of these words, or

Zita Alves: Not it's not been in my world, because no one's ever talked it to me.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Nicky Bevan: And what I think is so powerful about grief, I mean, we're not going to get into this conversation now, but unless you want to, of course, but

Nicky Bevan: What is so powerful about grief? I heard once that it's the only negative emotion fueled by love. It's because we love and I've talked about this a lot on the podcast.

Nicky Bevan: It's because we loved someone so deeply that it's so appropriate.

Nicky Bevan: To feel love. Like, that's how we act, like, grief, sorry, to feel grief.

Nicky Bevan: That is it is a sign of love that we grieve them, and we miss them, and

Nicky Bevan: And yeah, especially in England, it's kind of like that, oh no, must, you know, I'm fine, must crack on type, and I just think it's bollocks, because

Nicky Bevan: You know, you love them, give yourself permission to grieve them, that's that's appropriate, that's normal, that's effective, it's pure, it's

Nicky Bevan: , there's a there's a word that's not quite coming to me, but

Nicky Bevan: If it pops into my head, I'll say it then, but

Nicky Bevan: You know, it's It's deliberate. You know, that's how and giving yourself permission to sit with it is.

Nicky Bevan: Is actually so much easier than trying to avoid it, or push it down, or I'll do it later, because later never comes, so

Zita Alves: Yeah.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah, that's so good. Okay. So

Nicky Bevan: If you were to. So, this might be tricky I should have prepped you on this question, actually.

Nicky Bevan: , if you were to sum up coaching with me in 3 words.

Nicky Bevan: What three words would you what instant three words comes to your mind?

Zita Alves: , real. Like, no fluff. .

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: , fun?, and that's important to me, it's one of my values, that's important to me.

Zita Alves: And effective.

Nicky Bevan: I love those! Yeah, fun! I love that you said real, because I do think.

Nicky Bevan: You know, that's why I share the fact that my son's giant, huge fucking Snorlax teddy is behind me, because that's real. Do I want it in my lounge?

Nicky Bevan: No. Is it in my lounge? Yes. So, real is something that I

Nicky Bevan: Purposely, it's why I don't. Edit my podcast, because real, to me, is.

Nicky Bevan: Making mistakes, forget like, forgetting the word, or, you know, losing track of or going off on a tangent. Like, that is real.

Nicky Bevan: But fun's really interesting, isn't it? Because I wonder if a lot of people.

Nicky Bevan: Might be a little bit put off by coaching, because it sounds a bit too.

Nicky Bevan: Heavy, and, you know, like, therapy-like, and counselling, and actually, that's.

Zita Alves: No, at all. It's nothing like that No.

Nicky Bevan: It's not, is it? I would say it's it's not unusual in our sessions for people to cry, and it's also not unusual for us to burst out laughing at something.

Zita Alves: Yeah, well, you know, whenever you whenever I try to say I don't know, the answer to something.

Zita Alves: Which is not an answer. Then, yeah, then yeah, that was a fun moment.

Zita Alves: But yeah, no, it's not heavy. I mean, you know, you tailor it to what the person, don't you?

Nicky Bevan: Yeah. And even if, when I've got a client in front of me and they're really struggling with an emotion.

Zita Alves: Yeah, I am, yes ma'am. I am. And it is, you know, it's a considerable investment. It's

Nicky Bevan: , giving them permission and space. To look at that emotion, to feel that emotion, knowing that it's harmless, knowing that I've got them, they then re I'm okay with their emotions, they then become okay with their emotions.

Nicky Bevan: That is that is I think that's where the freedom comes in, knowing you have a choice over what you think.

Nicky Bevan: Or what you're choosing to believe. And then, being okay with your emotions, then we don't need to hide from anything.

Nicky Bevan: And I think that's huge. So, this is this is gonna be funny if the answer's no.

Nicky Bevan: But are you glad you invested in coaching? Can you imagine? She went, no, shit, don't do it

Zita Alves: It's you've got to want to do it Yeah, got to do it for a reason. So, yeah, no I am.

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: And I would definitely say that someone could come and talk to you and just find out if you're the right if you're the right fit for them. Whether they think coaching is something they want to do or not, or whether you're the right fit, you know, just have a chat, because

Nicky Bevan: Yes. Yeah.

Zita Alves: , like I said, I didn't expect to, so maybe you've got a magic spell, I don't know.

Nicky Bevan: Ooh, I do, I do think I do have some magic about me, but given that I my boys are really taking the piss out of me at the moment, because

Nicky Bevan: I do see myself as a witch. And I have a lot of trauma around that, like, putting my wisdom out into the world and showing the world my knowledge, because I was burnt at the stake for that, like, generations ago.

Nicky Bevan: And so the boys, the fact that I've shared that with my boys, and they've just gone, oh my god, you're a witch! Or they go, they take the piss out of me being a hippie. I'm like, I'm not a hippie, I'm a witch.

Nicky Bevan: , but it's the side I haven't quite explored. Too much, but it's definitely there. I mean, you've got you've got energy about you, we all have.

Nicky Bevan: It's just that what extent we're aware of it, or use it, or channel it, or whatever.

Nicky Bevan: I'm gonna do more podcasts with more spiritual experts, because it's not an area of.

Nicky Bevan: My expertise at all, yet., and we will be doing a podcast together on your actual.

Nicky Bevan: Business-related stuff, because Zeta is well, you tell us what you how you would describe yourself.

Zita Alves: , so I'm a health and health, wellbeing and fitness coach for women over 40 predominantly.

Zita Alves: , I'm passionate about getting women outdoors, number one., getting them moving, getting them to breathe, and to learn to relax.

Zita Alves: Connect. Community is a huge thing for me., so yeah, so retreats.

Zita Alves: Online classes, boot camp outdoors, and other bits and pieces, really, so

Nicky Bevan: Yeah. It's not. Yes.

Zita Alves: Well, it's all it's all that, really. Inspiring health and wellbeing.

Nicky Bevan: So, in Lookout in September, October time, Cosita's gonna come back and join me, and we're going to talk about the professional side of your expertise, aren't we?

Nicky Bevan: , but if you were to if someone was listening, and they were on the fence about whether coaching was right for them, I mean, you've already, sort of.

Nicky Bevan: Sum this up a little bit anyway, but what would you say to someone that was considering coaching with me?

Zita Alves: Well, if they think that they could do it on their own, whatever it is their problem.

Zita Alves: , or their challenge, whatever they're getting stuck with. Why have they not done it already?

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: Or have they had another coach and it didn't work? Oh, so maybe some people have had coaching and they just think, oh, it's not for me, but I think everyone is different, so

Zita Alves: That's that's where you shouldn't rule something out. It's a bit like exercise, isn't it? Oh, you know, I hate the gym. Well, the gym is nothing like what I do with people, for example, so

Zita Alves: , yeah, wherever someone's come from. But I just think, have a chat, you know, you just.

Zita Alves: Talk it through, find out, really. . And I trust my gut, so

Nicky Bevan: Yeah.

Zita Alves: If you I think we all should, you know, don't be, it's there for a reason, so

Zita Alves: Have a chat with Nikki, and, yeah, see what you think, really.

Nicky Bevan: Thank you so much. Is there anything. That you want to say that we haven't, sort of, covered.

Zita Alves: I don't think so I didn't prepare, you didn't prepare.

Nicky Bevan: I just think it's so much. It's such a to me, it's more of an authentic conversation when you don't have an

Nicky Bevan: I mean, I did have a couple normally I don't have any questions, but I did think, actually, if this was.

Nicky Bevan: If this was specifically around coaching, what do we kind of want to know, the before, the after, what was the biggest impact?

Zita Alves: Yeah.

Nicky Bevan: But having you not knowing those questions. You give an instant honest, whatever comes.

Nicky Bevan: Up answer, and you and it sounds so much more natural, and I just I just love it for that reason.

Zita Alves: Yeah. So thank you for your. Thank you for your help!

Nicky Bevan: You are so well, thank you very much for trusting me, because I think, especially when you sort of know someone beforehand to actually step into that

Nicky Bevan: Because the way that I see it is quite clear in my head. I'm Nikki as a friend, you know, when I see you networking.

Nicky Bevan: I don't and other people that I coach that are friends and we go out for lunch or whatever, I don't bring the coaching conversation up.

Nicky Bevan: They if they do, great, I'm happy to talk about it, but I don't like, to me, it's two very separate things. Nikki is a friend.

Nicky Bevan: And I'm Nikki as a coach., so it's for me, it's very I and that's my professional it's like when you go to a GP, isn't it? You go and see a GP, and then you bug to them in Tesco's. They don't generally start chatting to you about your ailments in Tesco's, do you? That's the professional side of my craft.

Nicky Bevan: , but look, but I can see how it might be a bit.

Nicky Bevan: Awkward or perhaps uncomfortable for someone to go, oh, well, I kind of know I kind of know Nikki.

Nicky Bevan: I'm not sure that I you know, I want to get into that relationship with her, which is why.

Nicky Bevan: I am always so honoured when people do come and trust me, because you are like, people tell me stuff that they would not.

Nicky Bevan: Tell anybody else, and I'm so I'm so privileged. That people are willing to trust me in that capacity. So, thank you so much for your, yeah, for your trust.

Zita Alves: Yeah.

Zita Alves: And you know, like me with what I do, you're passionate about it, and

Zita Alves: It's from the heart, you've got to go with someone who is, and yeah, so

Nicky Bevan: Yes.

Zita Alves: I would definitely recommend having a chat.

Nicky Bevan: Thank you. Thank you so much. So if you have liked Zeta's, energy, listen out for our next our podcast together, which will be sometime in September or October.

Nicky Bevan: , I will put all of her details to connect to her anyway, because if you are local, all you want to do some online.

Nicky Bevan: Stretch, or all the other different things, then you can look Zeta up. But do keep an eye out for when we actually talk about your business rather than mine.

Nicky Bevan: Because I'm looking forward to that too. Sue, thank you very much for joining me, and I will speak to you all next week!

Zita Alves: Thank you.

Nicky Bevan: Bye!