Bonus Episode - Self Care isn't selfish.

A short, no-fluff pep talk on why looking after you first isn’t indulgent — it’s essential. When you’re nourished, you’re calmer, more patient and far more present at work and at home. I share real client stories (bedtimes transformed, resentment replaced with boundaries, and long-held anger softened into connection) to show how tiny daily acts of care ripple into every relationship you value.

This isn’t about spa days (lovely, but optional). It’s about the micro-moments you give yourself permission to pause — multiple times a day — so you’re not white-knuckling life until the next holiday.

If you’ve been putting yourself last because of guilt, consider this your permission slip: prioritising yourself is not selfish; it’s survival.

You’ll hear:

• Why “self-care” isn’t woo — it’s productivity and presence.
• The difference between nice-to-have treats and need-to-have foundations.
• How small, consistent pauses change how you show up for the people you love.
• Quick, doable ways to start today (no extra time required).

Next steps:

• Want support now? Book a no-pressure call and we’ll chat about where you are, where you want to be, and how I can help.
• Join my live masterclass: How to Feel Calm — Even When Everything Is Urgent on Friday 3 October 2025, 12:30–13:30 (UK time). Come for practical tools you can use the same day.

 • Book a call → https://CoachingwithNickyBevan.as.me/FreeConsult
 • Register for the masterclass → https://the-working-womens-life-coach.aweb.page/p/71949826-9ae7-475e-b239-2283262d5171

No more shitty guilt, resentment or obligation — just a steadier, kinder way to get all your stuff done.

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingWomensLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

I have a little bonus episode for you today. Just because I was thinking about this over the weekend.

And… I really wanted to talk to you about why self-care is not selfish. It's kind of a survival requirement.

And it fascinates me. When people say. I've booked a spa day for myself on my own.

They're kind of shocked. They're like, on your own? But here's the thing.

When I look after me first. When I nourish myself.

I am such a better version of me for the people I love.

I'm more patient, I'm less frustrated. I'm more relaxed and light-hearted.

So, self-care is not. Selfish, but we've really been taught.

That it is. That self-care is some kind of indulgence. And I don't know about you, but I don't…

Really actually like the word self-care. It kind of… makes it seem…

Woo and Soppy, but it really isn't. If you want to be the best version of yourself when you're at work.

When you're leading your team, when you're having a conversation with the people you love, regardless of their age.

It has to start with you looking after you first, because when you recharge, you are calmer.

You are so much more patient. And you are able to be more present in what you're doing, whether you're at work or at home, which is going to make you so much more productive.

And I am not just talking about Spa Day. And actually, yes, a spa day is wonderful, I love it, just like holidays.

But I'm talking about the multiple times a day you give yourself permission to stop.

A spa day is a nice-to-have, it's not a need-to-have. Just like a holiday. A holiday is a really nice thing to have.

But if you need to have it, that indicates that there's something that you're not dealing with in your life.

Just like one of my clients, Mavis. That's not her real name, obviously.

But she was so exhausted by the end of the day, by the time it came to putting the kids to bed.

She was so impatient and frustrated that she would end up in an argument with her 9-year-old.

We coached, we focused on her. Bedtimes are now.

Calm. At a point when a child can't… control their behaviour. The adult can.

And also like Sally. Who was really resentful about looking after her mum.

Really resentful. So then she was doing things out of obligation.

We coached on her. She learnt to set boundaries.

She's now enjoying doing things for her mum, regardless of her mum's response.

And also, like my client Betsy. She had so much anger and resentment from the past.

That she wasn't able to connect with her elderly mum, and she knew time was running out.

We focused on her. And now she's able to have a really nice time with her mum. She's connecting with her mum.

And it's actually having a really beautiful effect. And Mum has not.

Changed. This is the crazy part. Now, that's just 3 of my clients. I could name many more.

But that would take quite a while. Um… But it really is about…

Choosing who you want to be in your relationships and in your life.

So these three clients of mine, Mavis, Sally, and Betsy, they weren't being.

Selfish when they chose coaching. That gift was just as empowering for the people that they loved as it was for her.

But it does start with you. So, if you've been holding back on taking time for yourself because of the guilt that it creates, this is your permission slip.

That it's not selfish. It's actually survival.

And it has to start by doing little bits every day. You can't just wait until that spa day, or that treatment, or that holiday.

Because it's over. It will be delicious while you're doing it.

You come back to reality. So, if this resonates, and if you're nodding your head and going, oh my gosh, yes, this sounds what I need.

There are two options for you. First, if you don't want to wait, let's get on a call.

We can have a conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and if it feels right, I will tell you how I can help you.

And… I am also very excited to invite you to a masterclass that I'm holding.

On the 3rd of October, that's a Friday. It's gonna be for an hour at 12.30, so perfect for a lunch and learn opportunity.

And it's called How to Feel Calm. Even when everything is urgent.

And in that masterclass, I am going to be giving you doable tools that you can actually start applying right now.

So that by the time you get to the spa day, or by the time you get to the holiday, it's a really nice-to-have, not a need-to-have.

And I'm really excited about sharing this with you. So, Thursday… sorry.

I'm trying to say the third and final at the same time.

Friday, 3rd of October, that's 2025, just in case you're… listening in the future.

12.30, you're going to need to register to get the link, so I'll put all the details.

In the show notes, on my socials. Look out for it. I would love to see you there, because it's really gonna shift your mindset.

In a way that actually enables you to. Have a really calm life.

Without all the shitty guilt, resentment, and obligation. Thank you for listening to this bonus little episode, and I will speak to you again soon.