Ep #108 - Menopause, Teens and Total Mayhem with Jo Weatherall

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Jo Weatherall for a really honest, reassuring conversation about the particular chaos of navigating perimenopause whilst raising teenagers — when, quite frankly, everyone’s hormones can feel all over the place. 

Together, we talk about why this stage of life can feel so intense, how Jo’s own journey led her from self-defence and confidence work into supporting women through menopause, and the small but powerful things that can help you feel more grounded, calm and in control. 

We also chat about self-awareness, journalling, planning ahead, and why understanding your own patterns can make such a big difference when life feels like total mayhem. 

Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that this season won’t last forever — and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Jo's links are below...

https://supportsmalluk.co.uk/

https://www.instagram.com/stories/supportsmalluk/

www.joweatherall.com

Instagram - jo_weatherall.1

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingWomensLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody, to this week's episode. I'm really looking forward to today's conversation. I can't believe we haven't actually had this before on the podcast, Jo, but I am joined today by Joe Weatherall, who is a coach for women Dealing with menopause mayhem in teens. Which I think that beautiful stage in life where everybody's emotions are all up in the shit.

Jo Weatherall

Mayhem.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Total mayhem, not just yours, but your kids at the same time. Um, so we're just gonna go with the flow of our conversation today and see where it takes us. But Joe, do you want to start by telling us, um, a little bit about yourself, like, how you got here, maybe your journey?

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah, um, because I think that the thing with, um, where I am now, is… That's what's happened throughout my journey, is that I've always been… doing where I… something to do with where I was… It's sort of like at that time. So let me start from the beginning.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Start from the beginning!

Jo Weatherall

So, um, back in the day, my whole… my career is hairdressing. And, um, mobile, so I was going out round to people's houses, um… and morphed… when I first started, it was people direct to me, so it was people that I knew. But then as I grew, it was people that they knew, and people that it was… that, you know, the person that I knew, and it was their next-door neighbor's brother, and stuff like that. And, you know, it kind of grew and grew and grew, and so I was actually going around to people's houses, that I didn't know. And this was back in the day, when there was no mobile phones.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And, um, back in that day.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes.

Jo Weatherall

And so my husband got quite, um, nervous that I was going to people's houses that I didn't know. And, um, being, like, a young chick then, in my 20s. Um, he thought I was quite vulnerable.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Mm-hmm.

Jo Weatherall

And so, he signed me up for a self-defense class. And, um, it was just a 6-week course, um, to learn how to defend yourself if you were in that sort of situation of you know, being sort of vulnerable. Anyway, I loved the course, and I ended up… Um, joining the, uh, it was a… it was a karate-based self-defense course, so I ended up…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Okay.

Jo Weatherall

Joining the Academy, Wateroo Karate Academy, And then going to classes, and then, um, competing, and getting my downgrade, and… Um, really enjoying that whole… avenue of… I don't know what it was, it was almost channeled aggression. I didn't know that I was, like, an aggressive person.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But it was channeled, and I just loved it, and I loved the whole competing side of it, I loved the… Um, mindfulness side of it, because we'd, um… it was very traditional, it was a traditional Japanese martial art.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, and it got to the point, which was quite amusing, that I was going home practicing it on my husband, And he then joined, because he had to defend himself against me. So, it was… so we both then sort of kind of went through that journey of, um, doing our martial art together, and then going on courses, going on competitions, traveling quite far and wide, because I used to, um, do competitions, you know, international competitions, so…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Love it.

Jo Weatherall

It was really lovely that we were able to do something together.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, because his sport was, um, triathlons. As well as doing the martial art.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Okay.

Jo Weatherall

So, um, then, um, after, sort of, like, to kind of, you know, get in, uh, more downgrades, so I actually then, um, got up to a level 3 downgrade. Um, uh, it was then our time to then, uh, um, have children. We were married for 13 years before we had children. Um, but it… it kind of didn't fit well. competing and looking, you know, a little bit beaten up. And also, just the training that I had to do anyway, and actually physically, with your body, you can't fight when you're

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

you know, pregnant. Um, and so I had… I stopped competing, but I carried on training.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Mm-hmm.

Jo Weatherall

And I had my children, um, both two years apart, um, um, Izzy, and then Oscar. Um, and they were two years, like, apart, so I'd finished the competing. Um, but I then felt that there was a… a real demand for, um, women getting back into fitness after having children, and So I then started a fitness um, class for women that were at schoolgates, basically. It was just those women that just had to have kids around them, we had to have kids there. Um, and it was basically just doing a fitness program for bodies that had been, you know, kind of wanted to be fit, but you had children, you had to fit in your time and things like that. So that was that kind of, like, little avenue in my life.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, then as it… as the kids grew up, started to get, um, and went to school, um, they were in this sort of, like, kind of around about, sort of, like, I suppose, 6, 7, 8, that sort of… that year, which I suppose is the first… Um, main school, the junior school.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, I recognise the fact that then they needed a bit of confidence building. not… not particularly them. But maybe other children as well that they… that were in their classes may… you could just see that some were needing a little bit of confidence boosting, so… and actually, the class that I started then for children was a karate class for children, but it was also confidence building and anti-bullying, which was quite…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Brilliant.

Jo Weatherall

um… like, a huge thing, really. I just felt really passionate about anti-bullying, I just didn't like it at all. So… so then that was my next phase. So I had this kid's class that was confidence for kids, um… And then, obviously, my kids then, they went up to a certain downgrade… up to a certain grade, not a downgrade, they didn't get the downgrades. Because it's quite a lot of commitment. And it's also, um… there's… it's the syllabus, so there's… it was… it was quite hard for them to do while they're at school.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And can I just check something? When you say downgrade, so my husband is a black bear in judo,

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

That's once you get to black belt, then it's first down, second down, second.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

So, for the people that… those of us that know the bouts, we're talking badass black belt. add up. Okay, cool, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

So, yes, yeah, yes, so it's… so… so you go through your coloured bouts,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And then… and it's all syllabus-based, you know, so… so not only are you doing, um… your syllabus for your fitness, and then learning the new… punches or kicks or arrangements, which is kata. Um, you're also learning your mindfulness and your…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Your reactions and your responses to things, and how… how you… how… how you hold yourself, how you manage yourself.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

So good. Yeah. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

in a situation. So that's also to do with… it's not just to do with, um, you know, fighting, it's to do with your whole… uh, management of situations, and in not just…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

in… on… in a fighting situation or a karate situation, just in life. So it's very much…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

takes on a lifestyle, rather than just… a competing… sport. There is a lifestyle, and that's how the Japanese, they did… they're very much about their cultural lifestyle.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, and so, um, then the… the… my children, they went off. in different directions for sport. Um, we're a very sporty family. And also, like, what I didn't say was that when I… when we… when I started… when we had the children, obviously, we couldn't both go to the same sport.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

like, you know, because it was a club. you know, in the evening and stuff. So we… my husband just carried on then doing his triathlons, and then I carried on doing the karate, which is why we kind of, like, went different avenues of sport,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But both every weekend, there was some sort of sport going on, so the kids came along with us.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

So it's just their lifestyle, again, of being active and being sporty. But they went off into completely different, um, avenues of, um, sport anyway, which was lovely, it was great. Um, but I'll come to that in a bit. Um… But then it then took on… so that was that phase, but then it took on, um, their team, sort of, like, kind of age. And, um, not only was it their, sort of, like, kind of teenage… well, it was… when they were teenagers, My then… my next phase was then doing, um, self-defense for teenagers, which was a very different thing.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

then the youngsters.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

So, um, I also then had, um, classes that were self-defense for teenagers, Um, not specifically, um, just girls, but it was predominantly girls. Um, but then also, um, we brought along the mums to get involved as well, because there was… it was very important for the mums to know that the girls… We're able to have… that defense, and new… knew what to look out for, and were confident, were just actually confident in themselves. And it wasn't just all about

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

that image of confidence, it was that feeling of confidence. People look very different from the inside if they're confident inside.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

I don't… it's not… it's very much nowadays about people think it's about how you look, but… very much feeling confidence is a big thing.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes.

Jo Weatherall

And then… and then recognizing when there's perhaps, um, trouble that you need to avoid, or… or… you know, those little signs of things that are being said, or how to respond to them. Again, the response and reaction thing. Um, so that was that little phase, and then… Obviously, myself, going through different things, I then, as I got older, and then when I got to the age of 47, and my children were then, like, kind of well into their teens, And things were sort of kind of flying around emotionally-wise. I knew at that age things were changing in my body. Things were not only changing in my body shape and the way my body reacted to sports and things that I was doing.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But it also changed in my mental feeling towards myself, and… I recognized that this… this… it wasn't… it didn't feel right for me. It felt very foreign for me to feel anything other than feeling confident or feeling that I was in control of how my body was acting to… to different foods, or to different sport, or… to different things that were being said to me, or… Um, how I… how I would respond from yet. And… and I… I asked, um, friends, um, schoolgate friends, and… that they would kind of… almost kind of shut me off, and not want to know about what I was going through, but…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Oh, interesting.

Jo Weatherall

Later, I realized that it was because they were going through the same things, and… and… And that was obviously now, now I know, sort of, like, kind of 10 years on, I know that it was, you know, perimenopause, and that I was sort of, like, kind of starting to… my body was starting to change, and… and that was just my body physically, that was my body mentally as well.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

So that was where I then started looking into things a little bit more about how my body how I could change things in my lifestyle to help my body, help me, um, get through that phase. And that's where I, um, started with Menopause Mayhem in Teens, because I then started helping my friends. And sort of saying and recommending them to do things to do… how to do their exercises, rather than do an exercise that we used to do, how to change that and do more resistance work, more weight work for muscle mass, and… more mindfulness, there's so much more. I mean, I used to meditate anyway. unused to bookend my day with, uh, mindfulness. But it was very much, I had to… I had to take it on board practically as… all throughout the day. Just to keep my body

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, kind of grounded and to keep me I guess to keep me calm, to keep me flowing as a… a normal, um, functioning human being, rather than this, you know, kind of person that didn't recognize.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, when I started helping my friends, they then sort of said, oh, you know, you need to… you need to do this, and you need to sort of help others, and… and…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

it needs to be, um, something that you're doing as… as you've done all your other things. And so I did, so that's when I, sort of, kind of started up, um… Um, menopause met him in teens, and started doing groups for women, and talks, and um… really thoroughly enjoyed it.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, and it's funny, because I kind of almost feel like, um, I'm… I'm then kind of going through another phase now, and I'm almost excited about what that's kind of, like, gonna… gonna bring now, so…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

So I definitely think it's… it's definitely your golden threads in life. bring you to where you are and what you're doing, like, now. I mean, I still do my… I still… I've still got my career, I still do my hairdressing.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, so I still, obviously, you know, superfluous chit-chat. You can… you could talk to me about anything, and I'll…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

I'll have a conversation about it. Um, but very much enjoying, sort of, like, kind of helping women and do those, sort of, kind of, you know… do the things that… that… that I can see makes a difference to their lives, and because I've… I've done it and been through it. I just want them to know that there is a… there is another side. You do come through it.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. You do come from that. I think that's really important to know, isn't it? On the hair front, if you're listening to this on audio, give your… just give yourself permission to come and look on YouTube, because Jo's hair is gorgeous.

Jo Weatherall

Oh, it's just… it's a bit massive, and it's a… and yeah, it's…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

It's just so gorgeous. It's worth coming and seeing it in Wheelsies.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, it just happened to look.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

But, um, I would quite like to dive a little bit deeper into what you said about your body feeling foreign. And I think that's really interesting, because…

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

That kind of implies that you had an awareness about your body, first of all, to know that it was changing. And I feel like so many of us are quite disconnected from our body, that we wouldn't know Whether it was different or not. So, can you just tell us a little bit more about that process, how that was for you?

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, well, I think, um, stemming from my, um, sporting career, when we used to fight, we used to, um, have to do it by weight category.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Okay.

Jo Weatherall

So… so it was very much, um, a part of knowing exactly how… how you put on weight, how you… where your body holds the weight. Um, how your body reacts to injury, how your body responds if you've been training up to a certain point of having a competition. Um, how your body needs… how much rest your body needs, how much sleep you… you can function on. Um, ha… Hydration, um… how much your body, uh, how much your body needs in order to feel great, because there are times when you go, actually… well, you don't go, actually, I feel great, because you're not thinking about your body's function, you're just…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes.

Jo Weatherall

getting on with it, and everything else seems great in your life. Because you're enjoying that, you're enjoying going out, you're enjoying going walking, you can pick up on any sport you want. you couldn't… you don't… you don't overthink about… Um, getting on the floor, standing up again. You don't think about these things, because your body is great.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

If your body then starts to change, and you're… it takes you longer to get up, or… actually, no, I can't do that sport, because my joints are starting to ache.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah…

Jo Weatherall

or actually, do you know what, I'm waking up and I'm just… I don't even feel like I've been to sleep, I feel knackered as soon as I wake up. Um, your… your craving for things, because you're… you don't know what… you don't know what you've eaten, but you're still craving for food. Uh, in all of those little different things, it's, it's those things that you need to… and I journey, you know, and I say to my ladies as well, journal everything. You know, when you get in the cravings, when you're tired, when you ache, when you feel like you don't… you can't be bothered. Which sometimes, you know, a lot… some of my ladies will just sort of say, yeah, well, that's all the time, and just… They just say, oh, I just can't be asked. That's what they say. I can't be asked.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, and it's just such a horrible feeling, but those feelings you need to… those are the things you need to recognise, because those are… there's reasons for those. There's reasons for all sorts… there's anything that you feel, there's reasons for it.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And that's the thing, is that when you're… you're not feeling anything in your body, and your body's flowing because you're full of hormones, and you're… full of vigor, and you're… ready for anything, usually, like, you know, your 20s and 30s, you just… you don't even think about it, do you? You just do anything. that's how, uh, feeling great feels. you forget that, because you're… honing in on all your different symptoms that are coming in, and your ailments, and… But if you've… if you've worked out why they're there, and you've worked… but more often than not, it's because of that depletion in hormone.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, in women. Um… So… but to monitor those things is really crucial, and that's why I say that even Um, in your 20s and 30s, monitor your body, you know, like, write things down, because you know, from teens, we're… us women, we have our cycles, you know, monitor things. you might need more sleep, you might need some more restorative time in your cycles. You know, try to monitor these things, and how…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

how much more of something you need for your body to feel better. Thank you. Ah, just a cup of tea, please.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Oh, that's nice, very cute.

Jo Weatherall

Um… So, it's very important to… to know, one, how you feel when you feel great, And it's very important to know, um, if there's something happening in your body, Um, you know how to control it, and how to respond to it, and… and how your… and how your body will respond if you do something.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, to help it. So that's… that's what I mean that I felt for it, is the fact that I was so in control of my body because of having to be in control of my body, because I used to have to

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

you… it was… it was quite funny when we had the weigh-ins. the whole point of being a certain weight is that you want to be at the top of that weight category, because you are… you're sort of, like, on a… is a better place to be. Um, so we used to get to a point where we would have to, you know, we would run off our fluid in our body, for the weigh-in, and then, you know, the next day was the fight, and, you know, you're sort of, like, back again, piling the food, and your weight's different then, but you've got it down to… you know, so I knew exactly

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

what I needed to eat, exactly what I needed to drink, exactly how much sleep I needed, what I needed to do to feel flexible enough, to feel emotionally strong enough to be on the map. I knew all of that. But then to take that through into one of my courses is, um, Um, self-defense against menopause. It's like…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Great, against you, you know, against you and your interval. Um, because it is almost like you're…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

defending your… you're defending against it, you know? But if you're in control of it, and you know everything, about your body already, you're… you're already a step ahead.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah…

Jo Weatherall

you're… it's about… it's about, kind of, being prepared. You know, I mean, if you're… if you're doing anything, if you're doing… if you're doing a sport, if you're doing a talk, if you're doing a presentation, if you're… if you're… anything that you're doing, you know, a wedding, whatever, you plan it, don't you? You put the…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

you put the plan in action, you train for something, you… you do your presentation over and over and over again, so that when it comes to do it, You just do it, and it flows, and it's natural, and it's… it's… almost, um… second nature to you. But that's exactly how you want your… you to be.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

When you come through… that phase of your life. Now, I knew for sure, if I was in control of my body, and I knew exactly how my body was going, and worked, and… and I was struggling. I knew that women who didn't know and hadn't journaled, and wasn't in control of that, they would probably be struggling a little bit more. Which is where I'd sort of say, you know, that let's start from the beginning, let's, you know, it's easy, you're gonna… you will get there, let's just monitor some things out. It's just plan it, and… and, you know, you'll start learning more about yourself. Now, because you have to, um, than you ever did. And it's actually kind of… I do call it a self-likas assessment. It is assessment.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah. And I think with that awareness, you can then start to work with your body, rather than against it. So I know for me, so I'm 49 this year,

Jo Weatherall

Um,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And I'm in my perimenopausal phase. I'm still cycling regularly, but I really notice, because I've been paying attention, I really notice a fluctuation in my energy. And not just my… like, emotional energy, but my physical energy. Like, there are days when At the start of my period, like, when estrogen is high, I'm able to hold plank, like, easily for 30 seconds to a minute. But get close to the end of the month when progesterone is high, it's a struggle to even stay in plank for a couple of seconds. I've not been… like, looking at that and going, well, what could I do yesterday? With fascination, Because I think that's the problem. A lot of us do it with judgment, and no one wants to open up to a judgy bitch, do they? But if you do it with absolute fascination and curiosity, then you can start to work with your natural cycles.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Rather than trying to work against them, and I think that's what so many of us are trying to do, especially women, especially when we were younger,

Jo Weatherall

Big thing. Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Women in business, I see this massively. We try and keep going at the same level all the way through the month.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And we're like, no, I should be able to do this, and I should be able to, and I should be this, and I should be… but we actually cannot sustain that kind of level. And then we wonder why we get so tired.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Whereas if we are able to go Okay, so, like, so for example, because I… focus on my, uh… and I do that from a feasting and a fasting perspective, which is what got me into being more aware of my cycles. I didn't have any. clear before that. Um… Then it's like, okay, well, if I've got this big presentation or this big event, And it happens to fall on a time when estrogen, uh, sorry, when progesterone's high. I'm gonna know that that is gonna be just a little bit more challenging energetically and physically than if oestrogen was high. I didn't use that as an excuse.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. No.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

to let myself off the hook and eat it. like, load of chocolate. But I do use that as a way to have compassion with myself. So in that moment, it sounds a bit like, okay, Nikki, we know this is a bit more of a challenge. I plan in a lot more rest.

Jo Weatherall

Yes.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And that's how I work with it.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And I just think we, like… That conversation doesn't really happen that much. I mean, it's interesting when you said about the girl… the ladies… at the school gate didn't want to talk about it. There doesn't seem to be that kind of open conversation in women. In the workplace, until it gets to a point where

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

It's quite dramatic, and you have really severe menopausal symptoms, and then you just think everything's wrong with you, and you leave work. And that's not an alternative either, I don't think.

Jo Weatherall

No, I think that the whole point of that is that they didn't want to talk about it. It's because they haven't got the energy to talk about it.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah,

Jo Weatherall

And also because if you… you know what, you know, you're not going… You're not… you're not going to want to, um, share… with people, your struggle, and that's what women don't do. They kind of feel like, oh, she's holding her shit together. I can't be seen to be not.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

holding, you know, holding it together. And… and that… and it's just such a shame that that has to be like that, because… oh, no, because obviously everyone's cycle's different, so… so when… when one's strong, you know, another one's sort of not… not going to be, and so that…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

If you understand it like you just understand it, and you've got it… you've got it journaled, you… you know yourself,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

You could… and somebody says to you, um, oh, look, you know, Nick, is there any chance that you can do something on that date? And you can look and go, actually, it's not going to be a good time for me, so, you know, ask someone else.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, or… or… well, as long as you know… or even if you have to do something at that time, because sometimes in workplaces, you know, you have to, right? Okay, you're doing that on that day. Okay, fair enough. I'm doing that on that day. So, the three days before that, I'm in… I'm in bed by 9. I'm asleep you know, by 9.30. I'm hydrated.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yes. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

electrolytes are topped up. I've, you know, I've eaten well, and everything else around that

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

is… is all… all built up for you to be able to perform when you know your levels aren't brilliant. But you've done everything else, whereas if you're still running late, you know, going to bed late, and you're not hydrating, you're not… you're not…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

keeping your energy levels, um, topped up, and if you're not setting yourself up, you are going to struggle more. And so, the best thing to do is to know that that's going to be a struggle that day. If it's not going to be the struggle that day, you know, obviously all those things, if it's in a lifestyle, if it's in your lifestyle to do that, Um, then that's great. You know, because you do tend to sort of find that you kind of do sell through, Um, but it'll be easier with things.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah

Jo Weatherall

But it is about planning and assessing, and giving yourself that care, and giving yourself that time, you know?

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And even… you know, those little things. People do sometimes say, oh, no, meditation's not for me, or, well, it might not be, but sit and read a book.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

you know, or sit and read some pages of a book, not a book, but just sit down and read, or just… just sit down and listen to something lovely on a, you know, podcast or something.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, or if…

Jo Weatherall

Just to give yourself that… just a stop.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, or if you're used to moving and you don't think you can sit still tapping,

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you too.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Or havening, you know, it feels weird to begin with, but there doesn't… it doesn't have to be… It can be an active relaxation, can't it? It doesn't have to necessarily be… I mean, I… don't get me wrong, I love sitting and just watching the trees blowing around in the wind.

Jo Weatherall

Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

My brain wander. I fucking love that. But I've trained myself to not listen to the, oh, I should be cleaning, I should be cooking, I should be tidying, I should be doing everything else but this.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. Yeah. And also…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Um, but some people, you know, will sit and tap, sit…

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, there's a…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Order, go for a walk, but allow your brain to listen to the birds.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

listen to, like, view, look at what's around you.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, it's… I think there's also, with, um, not doing, But there's a guilt attached, because like you just said then, I should be cleaning it, I should be… you know, there's so much stuff for everybody to do all of the time.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah. Always. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, so yes, we could be doing stuff all of the time, but even if you're, uh, going, you know, taking the dog out, or going for a little walk, or you're doing something, like, it is just giving yourself that time to breathe,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And relax your, sort of, central nervous system that's… going to be heightened anyway, because one, you know, your levels aren't brilliant. And also, if you've got something coming up, you always do sort of tend to feel that little, sort of, like, anxiety feeling, which that's another thing, as soon as you're in the menopause um, phase, your levels are so different, that you are, which, again, being in that position in my life to have been able to train into that fight-or-flight. Um, feeling, I… if you're in that all the time, and your cortisol levels are telling you there's something wrong, something wrong, something wrong, You… you have to learn how to go… actually, there isn't anything wrong, you're fine. And that is crucial to not be in that state of, like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, gosh, you know, be like that the whole time. Because it is very… it's very difficult to then tell yourself that everything's… everything's going to be fine. Um, I mean, and I even found that, that… although I'd practiced that for years and years and years, I still found that a struggle. And I'd done a thing… I mean, I was… I used to bite my cheek.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah…

Jo Weatherall

you know, bite my cheek like that all the time. Like that, and I just thought, oh my gosh, I really do need to get this under control. I'm gonna eat through my own cheek.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, I do that.

Jo Weatherall

it was getting that bad. And… but… it was, again, training myself, sort of say, and I only knew when it was happening, so… but I monitored the fact that, okay, I know when it happens, and when I find myself happening, I need to do this, you know.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And… and all sorts of things had happened, um, I know we weren't going to talk about this, but also… so when… when… bigger things happen. It almost feels like it's even more heightened, and those responses can feel even worse.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And I was traveling a lot up and down, um, going back sort of kind of see, um, mum and Dad and stuff, and… and in that journey, that sort of, like, kind of hour and a half journey, that was when I was going, mm, like that, you know, biting the chicken. So I then used to put a toothpick in my mouth and just have that toothpick in between my teeth, so that I didn't have to bite my cheek. But those are the things that I actually need… I needed to find to do, and then… and now I don't do it, because our… because, you know, things have calmed down a lot more. But in those heightened times of things happening, it is that mayhem.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

There are things that happen, um, either with teens or your elderly parents, or… things in life that happen that are those heightened times that you do really have to work on yourself.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

in those times, if you've got all that monitoring, and you've got loads of other things in place, It makes those times shorter and easier to get through. And I've definitely, definitely seen that.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

just recently, that I, you know, I've, um, I'm so glad that I've had this backup that I had.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Because, I mean, I haven't sailed through it, but I've got through it, and… and… And I don't compare at all, but I can see ones that haven't done that,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

I know that it, you know, things get a lot, lot worse, um, and so you have to have things in place for… ready… ready. You're… you're ready.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a prevention, isn't it, rather than the cure, so…

Jo Weatherall

You know? Definitely.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Having the courage, and I think for some of us, it does take a lot of courage to look at ourselves and look at our brain, and look at our habits and behaviours.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Um, but once we acknowledge and become aware of them, Then we get more control over them. And… and it's starting off with the kind of insignificant… what appears to be really insignificant, like, bite in your lip or…

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

having that glass of wine in the evening, or, you know, whatever the habit is, it appears insignificant.

Jo Weatherall

Mmm

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

But when you… when you actually start to look at it, learning how to… have that skill. the small things…

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Like you said, then when life happens, and, you know, significant life-changing or life-altering events happen to us.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

It means, then, that we don't have to add the extra layer of drama on top.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And that's what it is for me. It's like… Okay, this really shit thing's happening. And it's appropriate to feel sad or horrified, or whatever. Do I want to add the extra layer of drama and shit on top? And I think that's when… you know, having that mind management, having that kind of emotional resilience. Having learnt the skill of looking at yourself and learning about yourself is actually what makes those times smoother, like, the hard times smoother, because they happen. They happen.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, that's right, life does.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

That's life. Life happens.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And it is not about avoiding them, it's having the skills to see them through without, for me, without the extra layer of drama.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and also, without the self-destruction, because, um, it can escalate, and then…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes.

Jo Weatherall

everything then piles on top, and… and… you can… something… if something happens, and you… you have a reaction to it. Um, it's how you respond to that reaction, and… And if you can take that to a point of,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

um, understanding that you don't want to be in that self-destruction. And… And about being in control of yourself, because you can't be in control of all the other things. You can't be in control of other people's reactions. You can't be in control of environmental things or other things that are actually happening, but try and control just your… you and your… aura is… you have that ripple effect then, because if you feel like you're in control, a lot of other things then don't feel so bad.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes.

Jo Weatherall

So, it's that ripple effect, definitely, um, for yourself.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, and that happens in… in… with your… with your teens, you know.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

it, you know, something's happening at the time, and you go, oh, like that. Don't… you know, you react, but don't respond straight away. Just write… let it happen, let it happen, let it… you go and calm yourself down, breathe, do whatever you need to do.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Yes.

Jo Weatherall

And whether it's a day later, whether it's an hour later, whether it's a week later, then respond to it, because it'll be completely different than responding then, and it just all escalating and then becoming that drama.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

just step away and control your orbit. And then come back in again when everything's kind of controlled. And your reaction will be so different.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, it's like that golden…

Jo Weatherall

So, your response, Tim?

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, your response. It's that golden moment, isn't it? When you get to catch yourself, breathe, take a pause, whether that pause is minutes, hours, days, weeks.

Jo Weatherall

Mmm, mmm.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

pause and go, right, let me choose… very deliberately, actually,

Jo Weatherall

Mm-hmm.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

the most effective way to deal with this.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, and that's not just with your… that's not just with your home life, that could be work, that could be…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And that… that… Absolutely. Absolutely nothing.

Jo Weatherall

anything. You know, you get any… you get an email from someone, you're like,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But are you raging, aren't you? And you're typing away, and all sorts of stuff's coming out. And just don't press send.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah.

Jo Weatherall

you know, right, okay, I'm gonna leave it now, I'm gonna go and breathe, I'm gonna go and walk, I'm gonna… well, even if you… even if, you know… and then you'll probably just wipe that.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

well, actually, do you know what? I'm not going to send that, you know, because…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

own it, you know, just… that's fine, you say that, if you like. And then you can respond with something diff… completely different, because you're in a better…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

or you feel better yourself. So, definitely about…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, leave it. So it can be…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, so good. So, how old are your children now, Jo?

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, so 21 and 23. So, they're… yes, and um…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And they… and I think as well, because of how, um… I mean, you never know, do you? Because you haven't got, you know, like, a book of how to bring them up and things like that. But… but the things that… that we… we'd done with them, kind of sport-wise, and just… mindfulness-wise, they, you know, they sort of, like, kind of, they've done meditations from a very young age, because they… because that… that's what I used to do. And they used to sit there and, you know, think it was quite… well, they just thought it was normal, actually. They… they… They… they, one, think everybody done… everybody had done sport like we did.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And which was quite, quite funny at some… at times, just because, obviously, it was… Um, it… some of the things that they would say, um, at school, about mum fighting. What did you do at the weekend, yeah? We watched Mum fight. And nothing else, you know, like that, because they didn't know that every other…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

I don't think we need to… yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Everybody at the… everybody at the… everybody else's mum didn't fight. Um, but even just… not even just that, but even just the… just the things… like, they've all… I've always ever cut their hair, and… but they thought that everybody's mum only cut their only… their children's hair, until, you know, such an age that they can understand.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, but now they've done… they've… they've got very good, um, endurance and… mind practice in their sport, their own sport.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Brilliant.

Jo Weatherall

So, Isabella does long-distance swimming.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And, you know, and she amazes me. She, you know, not… not that…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

I mean, they've just excelled at stuff that we've done, and we were sort of, like, kind of… high in our sports, but… but just their own personal sports. Um, and Oscar does snowboarding, and that's sort of like hiking up a… mountain, and then, you know, it scares me to death where he comes down doing that freeride.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But it just… It makes me feel happy, the fact that, um, that… that part that we we could give them, we can sort of kind of see now what they're doing and how they've developed.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah…

Jo Weatherall

Um, and then, obviously, uh, what they do now, kind of career-wise and things like that, it's what… it's how they learn and how, you know, what they're learning in life. And that's just lovely to see.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And why say it's really exciting about my next phase is because Um, Izzy's got her company, and… and… um, you know, and I see that growing, and love it, and see her working so hard. And, um, then now I've started working with for her, for her company.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

But then I kind of feel that the reason I'm doing that is because and I know you're the same with yours, that your passion is to know… is… is for them, isn't it? You… you want… you want them to do so well, and you just… you just, you know, you love them with every bit of what they're doing, you know, and… And so, as much as, yes, I want, you know, I want my work because I want to get paid, and I want to do lovely things in my life, But I also want to do work because I want to do… be with them and see that they're doing really well and stuff like that.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah

Jo Weatherall

So I kind of think, yes, my next sort of, like, phase about putting myself into her company as well. is lovely, because I don't know where that's going to take me, but… but I'm just excited about that as well, you know?

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, so…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. So tell us what the company's called?

Jo Weatherall

So, is… so her company's called Support Small UK?

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And, um, she supports small businesses. Um, to help them with… with… with being sort of visible, really, in… in the world of massive companies. Um, and there are some very skills, passionate people about, you know, they're passionate about their business. Um, and they're… and they're… to get them… to purchase from them, and to get their… Uh, the customer service, you know, they want to please, you know, these small businesses

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

really, really want to please their customers. And they value their customers, because they're just, they're like, kind of smaller, smaller businesses, you know?

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

Um, so it's lovely, and it's… it's… because it's UK, it's, you know, we kind of travel all around to go and help these small businesses and do these events, you know, to get them together as well, to make them feel that they're… not just on their own, because it's very lonely being in, you know, a kind of solo trader. Um, but to help them to… to… to build a little network and community with each… each other in small businesses.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And to help people to, um, you know, shop through them, because it's… it's lovely, it's easy, and it, you know, really great products and lovely… Lovely customer service with it, you know. You know, people, you know, pleasing, you know, you're with

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

people… they want to sort of please you with the… with what you're buying from them. I love it. So yeah, so that's growing for her, and it's, um, it's lovely. And obviously, you know, she's sort of, like, kind of,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

She's very much, um, hands-on helping these, um, small businesses and stuff, so… Um, really nice for her to be, sort of, involved with the lots of other people as well, so…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah. Exciting.

Jo Weatherall

That's really nice, too. Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

So, what I think is so lovely about listening to you today, Joe, is just, first of all, hearing your wisdom is just delightful.

Jo Weatherall

exciting, how they seem.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

But also, it kind of gives us, like, who's currently in the middle of my perimenopause, in the middle of the teenage years. I mean, I have got what I consider to be the most incredible two boys. like, very balanced, very open, and I do think that's because, like, I do…

Jo Weatherall

Oh, yeah,

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

give credit to Johnny and I, because we've done our own work,

Jo Weatherall

Yep.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

I've been able to hold them through their wobbles as teenagers and love them unconditionally, In spite of that, and because I give them that freedom and that

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Um… space, I suppose, without judgement, without crisis, they learn to move through it so much quicker.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

just thinks it's the most incredible gift. But it started with me.

Jo Weatherall

Yes, that's right, that ripple effect, yes, right, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, it started with me. And so it's… but it's really lovely to think that anybody listening that, like, their life is perhaps Totally, total mayhem, because their hormones and their teenage hormones

Jo Weatherall

Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

It's nice to know that it doesn't last and that we survive.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, yeah, and they become beautiful young adults, um, going on into, sort of, like, their lives, and…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

And, you know, you can still support and be there. For them, um, but yes, it has basically stemmed from the assessment, the assessment of yourself, yeah. Yeah, because it makes a huge difference, yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, so we will put…

Jo Weatherall

Yeah, absolutely.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

All the links for Joe in the show notes to the, um… what is it, swap…

Jo Weatherall

Support Small UK.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

supports Swall UK, and to the groups that you run. So that people can get in contact with you if any of those appeal to them.

Jo Weatherall

Yep.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Um, it's been just so lovely to chat. I mean, I love your energy so much, Jo. I always really enjoy it when we get, like, to have a conversation, whether it's in person or whether it's online, so…

Jo Weatherall

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Thank you so much, so, so much for coming and talking to me today. Was there

Jo Weatherall

Thank you for having me.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

often, in particular that you wanted to end with, or do you feel like… You've said what you needed to say.

Jo Weatherall

Well, I think, um, yeah, I think I said what I've needed to say, but I… but… and you sort of, like, then just sort of rounded it up by saying that, um, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

You know, it's a phase that we go through, but exactly the same phase that we've already been through, if you think about the fact that we've been teenagers ourselves, and we went through

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

getting those hormones, starting off your, you know, your cycle and things like that. And it's almost the other end. It's just… things happening again. You didn't… you didn't go through those teenage years yourself and then carry on all that… struggle and that stress and those… and the uncertainty, um, through your 20s and 30s. You had great 20s and 30s. Um, but if… if you're going through the menopause now, you know, you actually don't see Um, 60-year-olds and 70-year-olds, like, struggling around being all, sort of, you know, worried and anxious, and they actually like, you know, they're… they're really enjoying life. Um, so…

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah.

Jo Weatherall

I think you just need to just remember that there is that next phase again, so… that self-assessment and that journaling, and being… um… in control of you. um, is, is vital, but yeah, you're… you're, yeah, make it through. You definitely will.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so, so much for coming and speaking to me today. It was absolutely gorgeous.

Jo Weatherall

Yeah. You're welcome.

Nicky Bevan, The Working Womens Life Coach

And for everybody else, I'll see you next week!

Jo Weatherall

Thank you.