Ep #117 - Hot, Sweaty, and Still in Control

When it’s 31 degrees in your kitchen and your thighs are sticking together, it can feel very easy to lose your shit.

But here’s the thing: you can’t control the weather. You can’t control the temperature, the sweat, the stickiness, or the fact that the UK is absolutely not built for this kind of heat.

What you can control is the extra drama your brain wants to throw on top.

In this episode, I’m talking about how to separate the facts from the emotional heat we add on top, why fighting reality makes everything feel worse, and how accepting what is can help you feel calmer, clearer and more in control — even when life feels too bloody hot.

Because being uncomfortable doesn’t have to mean spiralling or drama. And being hot doesn’t have to mean losing your mind.

You can also watch this episode on YouTube with Captions - https://www.youtube.com/@TheWorkingWomensLifeCoach

If you'd like to have a chat about how I can help you further, please don't hesitate to click here & book a time with me, I'd love to meet you.

You can also follow me on IG @NickyBevan_LifeCoach

Transcript

Welcome, welcome, welcome to today's episode. And if you watch my episodes on YouTube, you will notice that I'm wearing the same dress. I do have a dress on, although my camera looks like I'm wearing nothing because it's kind of cut off. But it's the same dress because it's hot. If… in the UK right now, we're having the most incredible weather. My fan is on me, so you see my… hair waving around if you are watching on YouTube.

And it's 31 degrees in my… kitchen, so I've got all the doors and windows open, there's a breeze coming through with the fan, it's still 31 degrees. We are not used to this weather, my friends, here in the UK.

We don't really get extremes. We didn't really get extremes of hot or cold. And you know, it's usually really lovely if it does get around the sort of 24, 25, 26 mark, but close to 30 and above 30, this is not normal for us.

And so we're not designed for it. So the reason why I'm in this dress again, I did a podcast interview yesterday, you'll hear that next week. But I really wanted to come on and talk to you about this this week because of the weather.

But the reason I'm in this dress specifically, this is my hot weather dress. So it's a beautiful silk dress that I bought in Barcelona. And it's that type of dress where I don't need to wear a bra. I usually wear leggings under my skirts and my dresses, but my friend Hazel gave me this tip about getting a pair of tights and cutting them. just beneath the knee and wearing those. And oh, my gosh! Game changer game changer, because they're light, and so I don't have the thickness of the leggings, and you don't have that nasty like sweaty. Like. Thigh rub. I don't like that. I don't like the feeling of my skin together when it's so hot. So this dress is out again today. Probably be out again for the rest of the week because it looks like it's staying.

So I didn't want to talk to you about my underwear or my sweaty feet. Twice. Well, I want to talk to you about… It's the weather.

Now… I have said this on my social medias, I've said it on my podcast before. We love to talk about the weather in the UK, don't we? I think we also love to moan about the weather in the UK. Like, I always think of that Peter Kay sketch when he goes, oh, I like it hot, but I don't like it this hot. You know, we moan, don't we? We're never actually satisfied. If it's raining, isn't the rain miserable? If it's hot, oh, it's too. And his… What I want to say.

You have no control over the weather.

None. Zero, zitch, fuck all control over the temperature. High or low. Rainy or dry. Windy or calm. You have no control over the weather.

What you do have control over, however. Is the added drama that we seem to love to put on the top.

And actually, you can apply this to any situation in your life. The weather is just a very… topical current. situation to talk about. The fact is.

I can prove that it's currently 31 degrees in my house.

Whether I sit here then going, oh my god, I'm sweaty, it's too hot, I don't know what to do with myself, this is terrible, this is awful, I need to eat a load of ice cream… I don't do that bit. I don't do it.

And I very rarely do it in any area of my life, actually, because I just think that added drama is a total fucking waste of time. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of energy. It achieves nothing. And especially especially when your body is physically hot. Adding that emotional heat on top makes it worse.

So here's what I do.

I literally sit there. And I just accept. that it's hot, that my body is hot, that my body is sweaty in places. I don't make that mean something bad is happening.

And what happens when you don't add the drama is, emotionally, everything cools right down.

If you have a water source by you, go and put your feet in it. If you have a fan, go and sit in front of it. There are things that you can do. Drink a lot of water. I would really encourage you not to drink a whole load of sugary, shitty fruit drinks. energy drinks, sugary foods, processed foods, because when your body is struggling with the heat, and then you go and add a load of toxins, now it's got extra to deal with. So. Tap water, mineral water if you've got it, great. I don't, I just use tap water. Bit of lemon if you fancy it. That's all your body needs.

It may be it needs electrolytes. I'm, you know, that's… You want to be careful about drinking too much water, but water over fizzy drinks is going to be so much better for you than. the loads of toxins.

But from an emotional perspective, you actually get to choose how you deal with the heat. And the drama is optional.

And I actually coached someone on this yesterday. They came to me because they were really hot and bothered. They had to slow down, they had to only do one thing at a time, they had to write things down because their head was a bit fuzzy and they were forgetting stuff. Okay.

That's all really good things to do when the weather's hot. Have you noticed? Spain shuts down at a certain time of the day. They have a siesta.

Johnny and I spent time in Australia. In the center of Australia, it's hot all the time. They don't do things at speed. Everything is slower. Things don't stop.

But in the UK, we seem to think we have to keep going, multitasking, rushing from one thing to the next, being on our top form, and it's kind of impossible. You can keep doing that, please. Do it if you want to.

But it's going to burn you out. You're actually going to be exhausted.

What you can do instead is drop any judgement and any expectation of what you're going to get done today. Just choose one thing. Do it slowly, celebrate if it gets done. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't.

If you're looking after little ones, let them play with water. Drop your expectations that the house needs to be perfect, that the garden needs to be perfect. Like, give yourself a break. Seriously.

Because this is unusual circumstances we're talking about. And so, when you lower your expectation of yourself. When you choose to drop into acceptance. When you choose to not engage with the drama. Everything cools down. Everything calms down. Everything relaxes.

Life is so much easier, so much easier, even when you are physically hot.

And one of the things that I really love to do, and I actually generally do this at night when I'm trying to go off to sleep. Because that is a time when people start… if you haven't got aircon, it's the time when people are going to be going, and getting really agitated. Well, you can't sleep when you're tense.

I take myself off on a little holiday.

I imagine I am led in the most beautiful tropical room on stilts. You know those ones that you see and they're right in the ocean and you've got the turtles and the manta rays and the fish swimming under you. and you've got the mango at breakfast, and you've got the coconut, and everything's there for you, I just take myself there in my brain.

And of course, if you were there, the heat would be part of that, and you would be loving it.

Loving it. Unless you're my friend Janet, she never likes the heat. Well then, fine. Take your safe to a warm place on the slopes. You know, that restaurant that you love to walk into when you've been skiing and you walk in, it's all warm and cozy. Take your brain there.

Because your brain doesn't actually know what you're making up versus what's reality. You're making it all up anyway. The drama's made up. Because the only fact is.

31 degrees.

The fact might be, you're a little bit sweaty. Have gratitude for that body, because that is actually what's keeping you alive. If it didn't do all of that, you might die.

So… That's not… beat our bodies up. Let's not add extra drama where drama just isn't needed, and actually give yourself permission to have a cold.

Water. Pop some ice cubes in it. Squeeze a little bit of lemon. Find yourself a shady spot. And breathe.

When you can't control the weather. You can control what you choose to do in it.

Or, if you have to be at work. You get to control the drama.

You don't have to engage in it. You don't have to huff and puff. And I'm not saying you have to be happy, joyous, and positive, but you can just be neutral.

And neutral is so much. Cooler. than pissed off.

I really hope that helps you today. It's going to stay warm, not quite as warm. I think it's supposed to drop off tomorrow, although I'm recording this on Thursday. So Friday looks like it's still going to be hot. And then Saturday, Sunday, it's starting to reduce down a little bit into next week.

So, you know, we might need to get used to it.

You can't control the weather, but you can control what you consciously and deliberately think about the weather. That's the bit that you get to decide.

Have an amazing day, my friend, and I am sending you lots of cooling vibes. I'm sending everyone the little ice emoji at the moment with like a the wind emoji. I seem to just be sending that to everybody.

Have an amazing week, and if you're. feeling like you want to take drama out of other areas of your life, because you can. It's optional. This is what I'm an expert in. Get in touch. I would love to have a conversation about it with you. The best way to do that is look in the link below and get a curiosity call booked in.

Best way. Have an awesome week. Bye-bye!