Breaking Stereotypes , Shattering Society Norms

Join me on a journey of empowerment and defiance as we delve into the world of women’s strength training, challenging societal norms one lift at a time. In this podcast, we celebrate the resilience and determination of women who dare to defy stereotypes and embrace their strength. From debunking myths to sharing personal stories of triumph, we explore the transformative power of strength training for women, both physically and mentally. Join the movement and be a part of the revolution that’s reshaping perceptions and redefining what it means to be strong.

Transcript

0:01

You're at a point where you want to transform your life. You want to sculpt that awesome body that's in there. From never lifting a weight in her life, she started from the beginning at the age of 40. She knows what it's like to start something new. Welcome to Strength in Numbers. Unbreakable Mind. Unstoppable Strength. Inspiring listeners to lift heavy, push boundaries, and embrace the power within. We all have an unbreakable potential of our minds and bodies. We just need to find it. As a die hard tonal gym fan and advocate for training at home, Katie has witnessed first hand the incredible transformations that can occur when we commit to our fitness goals. She knows what it's like to get jacked. All with dedication and determination. Plus nutrition. It's so important. One word, tacos. Together we'll embrace the mantra of being stronger, not smaller. This is strength in numbers, unbreakable mind, unstoppable strength. And now your host, Katie Dunford. Hello and welcome to episode five. Uh, today we're going to be talking about breaking stereotypes, especially with women, with gaining muscle mass, and we're also going to get into some tonal. updates on things that are going on in the community and with the coaches. So grab yourself your coffee. I have my, I have mine right here. My iced coffee with thorn protein. Yum. If you haven't tried thorn the vanilla protein is my absolute favorite and I added in with my coffee and it acts as a creamer. So there's no need for creamer. So a little coffee, thorn protein, mix it up. Yum. All right. So first off what's going on in tonal. So a Keem's program is wrapping up the ultimate arms. That's finishing up now. A lot of people have already finished in going into deload weeks, getting ready for either the April challenge with coach Ash. She had a live Facebook group. The other day talking about the program like the German body comp, which we covered on last week, uh, podcast. So it's going to be a great group. There's a lot of people. It's a lot of people loved the German body comp from, uh, from Tim's program. So I'm excited that they brought it into another program. And coach Ash is going to, she's going to slay it. She's totally going to slay it. I am quite concerned of when the room will go red. If the room will go red. When coach Ash does those like burnout hit moments, I get so fired up. I absolutely love when Ash gets so fired up. So that's going on in April, uh, for coach Ash, that challenge. And what else has been going on? Oh, my coach Joe is going to be starting a podcast. I cannot wait for all this amazing brain food. Like I have learned so much from him, so I'm excited to just. Hear more and be able to revisit stuff because I do try to, I do go back and listen to a lot of, uh, coach Joe's lives from programs to refresh things that he covered on things we should be focusing more on. So I'm excited that we're going to have like a space where it's, we're going to have the podcast there and. to keep, learning and, uh, building on, stuff that Joe can teach us. So I'm excited. I am really this is going to be great. I'm sure I posted about it, I think last week or this week. I posted it on my Instagram about his podcast. So I think that's about it with tonal stuff. Oh no. Coach Casey. She definitely has more mobility coming. I keep, I am so excited. I think I have left like numerous notes on tonal after programs about how I want more mobility. Like there was one class, I forget, I think it was Joe's. It was a live class and you can leave feedback on tonal and I think I left a paragraph. Like I was like, I want more live format programs, four week programs, more mobility with coach Casey, more tag team. And I just looked at my Instagram memories and just so you know, tonal April was the month for the tag team classes. So just throwing it out there, a coach T and coach Akeem tag team. Can we bring those back for April again? But just letting you know, just letting you know, just in case you forgot it, it is the month of April. That was the tag team. So I literally leave sometimes paragraphs in those comment sections. Cause I'm like, they have to see it. Like, like it's bound to happen. I'm excited for the mobility. So that's one thing. So hopefully we'll be getting some more, uh, four week live format programs and more stuff coming out of the coaches. So I just love when we get. More of the, uh, coaches programs that they have done themselves. Cause it always gives like a little touch of how they trained and because they're all certified trainers, they all come with amazing experiences and stuff that they've learned. So I'm excited about that. All right. So let's get into today's podcast. It is all about breaking the stereotypes with strength and sharing those society norms one rep at a time. We're going to dive deep into the world of women, muscle and strength training. So picture this, you're a mom juggling a thousand tasks a day from carpool to conference calls, society tells you that your main focus should be on nurturing. and caregiving, not building muscle and strength. But guess what? That is just not true. So let's break it down. So for centuries, women have confined to narrow definitions of feminine femininity. I can't say that word often associated with fragility and delicacy. Like that has that is how women are perceived like how we're supposed to be the weaker sex and there's this that we're there was this real that like Nobody like goes out in the ocean and sees a white shark and it's a female white great white shark and they're like that's that shark is weaker because it's a female it's I, I do have to say, I do believe I am not a marine biologist, but I do believe the great white sharks that are female are the largest and strongest. So I could be wrong on that, but I'm going to go with that. And because I've watched enough shark weeks with Abigail to say, just like Jaws, Jaws was probably a female. Just saying! For recent years, there has been a change, a shift taking place, where women are reclaiming their power, stepping into gyms, and picking up weights with determination. Like, we're not lost in the weight room anymore. We're not lost picking up weights. Like I can tell you numerous times where I've gotten messages from men talking about how I've inspired them or how they want to train, like how I train or, talking about like my muscle, uh, my arm muscle gains, it is incredible how we can teach each other. And I think sometimes we put blinders on thinking that, the opposite sex. Is weaker and the other sex is stronger. Sure. There's going to be some things that men can do a lot quicker. There's going to be things that it's going to take a lot more work for women to do. Ladies, we get like one week out of the month where we can totally go boss mode, lifting weights. Just remember that. So when you're thinking that you're not doing enough and you think I'm not where I want to be and I'm not lifting as much as that, that guy is, or, just trying to compare, cause, cause comparing is just awful. You shouldn't do it. Don't do it. Don't think about it. Don't do it because I've been there. So we have one, that one week to go boss mode out of a whole month and all those other weeks we either have to adjust, we have to listen to our bodies, cause some of us like me, I have with leg days, it's just a struggle. Some I've heard from some women that like chest day and overhead presses that the weight is just brutal on those days when it's, your time of the month. So for us women, we truly have with adding muscle mass strength training, give yourself a pat. On the back for every lit every amount of muscle you gain, because let me tell you how much work that takes to do. And I think sometimes, when people look, I get that now where people forget where you started from and what you had to do to get there because it is not easy. It wasn't easy for me to do this. It takes the training, you're going to miss out on certain things. You're not going to be able to do certain challenges. You're not going to be be able to do all the cardio or your, you have to take a step back and really think about what you want. And gaining that muscle, the nutrition, the sleep, it takes a lot of work to put on the muscle and I'm still trying and it is very hard because there are some months where I get on the scale and I'm like, why am I losing weight? Why am I losing weight? Because I put on the weight and then all of a sudden it goes and I freak out a little bit and then, I'd talk to, my coach or I'll talk to, somebody and they'll be like your muscle is burning. You're like a machine. So when you put that weight on your muscle mass is just eating away at everything because you just have so much more in the tank and I think that Joe talked about this in the live in New York, talking about how you're going to lose weight. Everybody, talks about losing fat and, the scale going down, but like he said, there's going to come a point where you're going to have to change the mindset to how much muscle can I build, how much muscle can I put on and that muscle is going to act as an energizer battery for your body. But it is that it's not all smooth sailing, we have to go through battles and we fight, stigmas to break down Some people still cling to that outdated beliefs of insisting that lifting weights will make women bulky or unfeminine I get that a lot still and I hear that a lot because I've lost a lot of my chest fat I was never a chesty person to begin with, but now I have a lot more muscles. So instead of having, I have a chest, I still have a chest, but I don't, it's muscle. So instead of flexing my cleavage with, what I guess fat or whatever, it's muscle. So women can have muscular chest. It doesn't, there is no defining a woman by, chest size. Like I just, I can't like women are, women can have strong chest. Women can have strong arms, strong back. Let's change that. Let me tell you something. Muscle is not the enemy. It's a symbol of strength, resilience, and empowerment. That is a fact. Building muscle and strength training builds confidence. It helps, like it has helped with my mental health, my anxiety. It has made me stop dealing with bullshit. Like focusing on My health and what I need for my body because it can't be just cookie cutter. You can't just do what everybody else is doing. Because if your goal is adding muscle mass, you can't be doing all that cardio. You can't be out, drinking and, partying all the time, you have to dial it back, life changes. We adapt. And we, we do stuff that brings us joy. So this is the next part about this. This is where I get a little, I guess I get a little heated, so I'm going to try to keep it calm. The opinions don't even get me started. Some women face judgment from their peers who can't wrap their heads around The idea of a muscular mom. Shouldn't you just be focusing on, looking pretty, putting the makeup on, being, this, uh, what we say, Pinterest, being a Pinterest mom and they are totally missing the point. They are completely missing the point. But you know what? We are not here to conform to anyone else's standards of beauty. We are here to do what brings us joy, what makes us feel powerful and alive. And if that means deadlifting more than our body weight or flexing our biceps that could rival Hercules. Hercules. Like flex them muscles. Then so be it. So to all the women out there who are tired of being told to shrink themselves down, both physically and mentally, I say this. Embrace your strength. Own your power and never apologizing for being exactly who you are, because being exactly who you are is going to inspire people, you're going to move mountains, you are going to, like I said, inspire somebody that to do something that they never thought they could. Because that's what the whole change is that once you change and you start to inspire people or somebody inspired you, that's a chain reaction. That's what we all should be doing. It shouldn't be about, I, it should be about us. It's about we, it's about team. There is no I in team. You can't succeed alone. And I've found that out. You can't do things alone. You need a support system that is going to be there when you're thinking about giving up because adding muscle mass as a woman is not easy. It is very frustrating at times because I get frustrated with myself when I can't lift the weight that I normally lift. Or my form goes to shit and I'm like, why I get so mad at my body. Like, why isn't my brain and my body talking to each other? Can we all get on the same page? And that's hard to do because then the doubts come in and then you're like why am I doing this? I'm not seeing results right away. I'm not seeing, the definition that I want to see right now. You know what? I'm just going to give up. I'm just going to go back to doing random stuff, and just exercising. It takes time. It takes a lot of time and it takes a lot of effort and to check your ego at the door. Because you want to get better and you have to do the same things over and over to, to do that. Yes, random and difference and stuff keeps you, intrigued and interested. And it's exciting when things change, but you have to stick to, to get that progressive overload or to see that difference in volume and strength. You have to do the same things over and over again. To see a difference and you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's not gonna look pretty It's not gonna be perfect. It's never going to be perfect So you have to take a step back and realize you know what I am going to fail I Am and I tell myself that all the time I am going to fail there is gonna come a time Where I'm not gonna be able to do it But you know what? I will be able to do it. You may not be able to do it now, but you will. I can remember talking to Joe about a 75 pound bench press. I can remember talking to Joe about hip, a barbell hip thrust. About, finally getting to a hundred pounds and Joe be like in, in a year, you're going to be doing 200 pounds. And I did, we hit that 75 pound benchmark for my barbell. We hit that 200 pounds for my hip thrust today. I just maxed out at two hundreds for RDL, a hundred pounds each hand. So next week, what's going to happen. I'm going to max out the barbell for RDL and doing an RDL barbell for 200 pounds. It is possible and I've always, I always didn't have people that believed in me. And when I started this whole, like, I'm going to just dial in. I'm just going to put the blinders on, put my head down and just do the work. I'm going to put the work in and then I'm going to show everybody that they can do it. Because we are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Like, I think you all can do it. I've told so many women, don't say you can't, say you will. I used to say I can't, and you know who I had behind me saying yes you can? Was Joe. You So I am without that person in my ear telling me, you can, and it got louder and louder to which now I tell him to bring it on. I'm like, make it harder. What you got? And, it's, you get to a point where you thrive on the challenge and you thrive on learning and you thrive on the failing and then learning and then succeeding and then looking back, being like, I did that shit. So I just want you all to know that I am extremely thankful and proud and, that it means so much to me when I get messages about how you're wanting to do strength training. And how much should you step back from cardio? What do I do that you want to put on muscle mass? I am here for you. I don't care what platform, what, who coach, who, whatever. Like, I don't care. Like, I want to see more women being like, you know what? I'm tired. I don't want to be small anymore. I don't want to use small anymore. Stop putting out in society that being smaller is better because it's not as women, as we get older, building that muscle mass is going to protect our bones. It's going to keep us playing with our kids than playing with our grandkids. You can't think of right now. I'm, I'm a part of this right now because this is the fun part for right now. Think of your future. Think of your kids. When you're outside playing, you want to be able to run, you want to be able to pick your grandkids up. So strength training is so much more than just picking up the weight and moving it around. It is keeping us young. It is the fountain of youth. Yes, you can add in cardio. I still run. I run maybe once a week. But that is the first thing to go. My body is fatigued because yes, there are going to be times when you are in certain programs that you're not going to be able to, you're going to have to dial it back and running. We'll just have to go on the side for the point being, but then you can pick it back up again. You're not going to lose it. I can still sprint at 12. 5. I could still run a 5k. I could probably still run a 10 K. Now. Half marathon. I would probably need a little bit more miles on my feet to do it, but I'm still a runner like that hasn't gone away. And I think sometimes people get in this, like they have to do everything. So there's still everything. Just because you your your seasons change with training doesn't make whatever you do before. minute that you can't do it anymore. That's not true. You can keep up with running. You just have to dial it back a little bit because you're more focused on strength training because you want to build muscle mass. So I hope you guys take a little bit away from like my story and, stereotyping and how sometimes, people can. Say judgmental things, especially on the internet and social media can be brutal, I can remember reading something about like how when some, I saw something on Instagram about how women shouldn't have muscular chests and that, women shouldn't want to look, having muscular, and I'm just like, I was like, why not? Like the whole defining of femininity has changed, like being feminine, you know, and I think sometimes the hardest critics actually come from other women when it comes to our bodies and, you know, stuff like that, you know, it's, you know, it's just like when you were in grade school, I don't know about some of y'all, but I was always considered one of the guys in, in, school. I was never the foo foo girl. Um, I really never fit in with the girls because I kind of was, you know, I was kind of like a town boy and I think that sometimes that, women are, you know, they say, oh, you know, together, support women and, you know, all this other stuff, you know, but also on the other end of the spectrum, sometimes women can be the harshest critics of another woman and I don't get that. Like we should all be supporting each other. And you can still be feminine. You are feminine. No matter what, if you're skinny, whether you're muscular, whatever, the definition of femininity is limitless. Just because when I flex, I look, I, you can see the muscle, but when a body is just standing there and not flexing, you can't stop. Like, I'm not Joe, and I think sometimes when people think of like muscular and bulkiness and I'm like, bring it, I'm going to, I want to make jaws drop. Like I have a goal to do every kind of pushup that there is every kind of pushup that there is. That is a huge, like a goal of mine. I just want to be known for pushups. Like. It's just pushups for me were the gateway. It was a confidence builder. And I truly believe that if more women took on pushups, focused on pushups, that is going to build your confidence up so high that you're going to be like, shit, now I can do it all. Now I'm going to lift heavier. Now I'm going to get a barbell. Now I'm going to be, dead lifting a hundred pounds. I need heavier weights. I can, yes, you can. So breaking stereotypes, let's break them all. Show them what's up. Something that we have to do as women is put that number that you see on the scale at a lower level. Like how much does it really matter? I weigh 141, 143 pounds, give or take, depending on the time of the month, because the scale's going to, it's, it's going to adjust. Um, we're going to feel fluffier some weeks than we do others. We're going to feel snatched more in some weeks than others. Um, you're going to see abs every once in a while. I can like see my abs certain parts of the day and then they go away because your girl likes to eat carbs. I like to eat food. I like to enjoy life. I weighed my heaviest after having Abigail at 140 pounds. So I weigh the same now as I did then, but now it's, I have muscle. Um, I, I look a lot healthier. Um, I'm not, so my body isn't so inflamed from, you know, cause. Drinking a lot, drinking, you know, wine and going out to dinner and having, you know, when you go out to restaurants, sometimes there's more sodium in food, a lot more salt. So you kind of retain water a lot more, so you look a little bit more fluffy. Um, but that, that number on the scale does not, you have to put it somewhere closer to the bottom. It's kind of like how I kind of look at with like electronics in our house as a parent. I kind of feel like if you give it so much credit or you put it up on this pedestal It is going to mean so much. It's going to be the holy grail. It is going to be The come to jesus. It's not It's really not that big of a deal. So when you don't put so much around a number on a scale You Making you feel bad about, well, what I'm doing isn't working. Um, I'm not losing weight. At some point you have to think I'm gaining muscle. I'm doing strength training. I'm doing all this stuff. I'm, I'm sleeping better. There's so many more things that add up than that number on the scale. So you may note that scale may mean the biggest thing to you. But look at all the little things that have changed in your life for the better. And I think if we take that scale out and kind of look at it as a guide, a tool in our toolbox that we can use to kind of gauge, like I use the scale to gauge how my training is going. I want to make sure that I'm fueling enough that I'm not burning muscle that I'm gaining weight that Um, i'm staying on track with putting on weight because that is a goal for me is to put on weight So so the the number on the scale for me means power it means strength it means i'm dead lifting 200 pounds It means i'm my rdls are 200 pounds. That means my hip thrusts are 200 pounds. That means i'm a push up gangster That's what that number means. It, it shouldn't, it shouldn't mean so much. And, like, clothing sizes, it's all bullshit. Because we all know we go to different retailers and women's sizing is all over the place. Don't get me on women's clothing because I have been on a high horse with women's clothing. Like, totally, wear the tall, tall shit, okay? Like we're not waiting for a flood. There is no flood coming anytime soon. There are people that are over Like what five seven five six, but most of the shit is for five five people. I love you shorties, you know, no hate But you just have to you just have to put it where it Is at the bottom don't give it so much credit It doesn't deserve the credit. What deserves the credit is your hard work, your determination, your discipline, your consistency, all of that, that is what matters. I am so excited for this podcast because it has just, it means a lot to me hearing people's stories. And I'm excited to share my story and hopefully give a lot more people that nudge to realize that gaining muscle, looking strong, upper body, lower body, the whole shebang is such, it is such a gift. It can't be given. It is hard work. So I'm gonna leave with this quote. I've read it a couple of times this week and I was like, you know what, I'm going to close my podcast out with this because it resonated and it'll give you something to think about. You don't need to be the most talented. You just need to be prepared to work really hard and learning to keep going. So until next time, keep lifting, keep smashing barriers and keep being unapologetically you. See you next week for episode six. You've been listening to Strength in Numbers. Unbreakable mind, unstoppable strength. Your mind and your body can do anything and our passion is to show you the unbreakable potential. Katie is a diehard tonal gym fan and she's all about training at home. She's proven that anything is possible with dedication and determination. Thanks for listening to the show. Make sure to like, rate, and review. Find Katie on Instagram. Instagram at katie underscore H underscore Dunford and on tonal at strength underscore n underscore numbers questions or comments hit that email strength underscore n underscore numbers 82 at yahoo. com see you next time