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The Motherhood Mentor
Welcome to The Motherhood Mentor Podcast your go-to resource for moms seeking holistic healing and transformation. Hosted by mind-body somatic healing practitioner and holistic life coach Becca Dollard.
Join us as we explore the transformative power of somatic healing, offering practical tools and strategies to help you navigate overwhelm, burnout, and stress. Through insightful conversations, empowering stories, and expert guidance, you'll discover how to cultivate resilience, reclaim balance, and thrive in every aspect of your life while still feeling permission to be a human. Are you a woman who is building a business while raising babies who refuses to burnout? These are conversations and support for you.
We believe in the power of vulnerability, connection, and self-discovery, and our goal is to create a space where you feel seen, heard, and valued.
Whether you're juggling career, family, or personal growth, this podcast is your sanctuary for holistic healing and growth all while normalizing the ups and downs, the messy and the magic, and the wild ride of this season of motherhood.
Your host:
Becca is a mom of two, married for 14years to her husband Jay living in Colorado. She is a certified somatic healing practitioner and holistic life coach to high functioning moms. She works with women who are navigating raising babies, building businesses, and prioritizing their own wellbeing and healing. She understands the unique challenges of navigating being fully present in motherhood while also wanting to be wildly creative and ambitious in her work. The Motherhood Mentor serves and supports moms through 1:1 coaching, in person community, and weekend retreats.
Follow on IG: @themotherhoodmentor , send me a dm and let me know you found me through the podcast!
Website: https://www.the-motherhood-mentor.com/
Want to join the email fam for free workshops and more support: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/ujaud8t4x9
The Motherhood Mentor
Thriving Through Change: Mindset Shifts for Mom Entrepreneurs with Brittany Burnham
Have you ever reached success and still found yourself not feeling satisfied? You look around your life and are grateful for what you see, but it doesn't feel right?
In this empowering episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast, we’re joined by Brittany Burnham, a mindset and business coach, as she shares her inspiring journey from personal struggle to professional success, and how success pivoted with the seasons. Brittany opens up about the messy middle of transformation and how societal pressures often push us to maintain a façade of success, even when we’re grappling with internal or personal change, healing, or wanting something different.
In this candid conversation, Brittany explores how embracing vulnerability and shifting our mindset can redefine the hustle mentality. We dive into how moms can balance ambition and rest—two things that often feel at odds. Brittany explains how taking time for rest not only nurtures personal well-being but also strengthens family dynamics and helps avoid burnout.
We also talk about nurturing resilience and the power of consistent action in fostering holistic health. Brittany highlights how modeling a balanced lifestyle for our children—one that includes moments of pause and joy—is one of the most valuable lessons we can pass on.
Throughout this episode, Brittany shares practical tools like Clifton Strengths and the Enneagram to help unlock your unique strengths and accelerate your personal growth journey. We also discuss the importance of journaling and celebrating past achievements rather than constantly chasing future goals.
Whether you're a mom, an entrepreneur, or both, this episode is an invitation to honor your journey, embrace your strengths, and find the courage to step into a life that balances ambition with well-being. Tune in to hear how you can begin redefining success on your own terms.
Key Takeaways:
- How vulnerability and mindset shifts help redefine the hustle mentality
- Why rest and ambition can coexist and how to simplify to amplify your impact
- The power of embracing resilience and consistent action to avoid burnout
- Tools like Clifton Strengths and the Enneagram to unlock your personal growth potential
- How celebrating past achievements and journaling can fuel forward momentum
- The importance of modeling balance for the next generation, teaching them to pause and enjoy life
Listen now to get inspired to adapt your energy, prioritize what matters, and embrace the messy, beautiful journey of motherhood and entrepreneurship.
About Brittany:
Brittany Burnham is a dynamic mother of four who redefines resilience and empowerment. As a Business & Mindset Coach, she helps women unlock their potential and build confidence. Brittany hosts the MomBoss Maximizer Podcast, sharing insights on navigating motherhood and entrepreneurship. She is also the CEO and Founder of PWR Performance Wellness Recovery, leading with passion in holistic health and wellness.
Find Brittany here.
Chapter Markers:
0:02-Navigating Growth/Change in Motherhood
10:44-Embracing Growth/Change Authentically
17:17-Finding Balance/Resilience in Motherhood
23:29-Building Resilience Through Action
33:44-Navigating Growth Choice w/Motherhood
Join us next time as we continue to explore the multifaceted journey of motherhood.
Thank you for tuning in to The Motherhood Mentor. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us.
Stay connected with us on social media and share your thoughts and experiences tagging @themotherhoodmentor
Welcome to the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. I'm Becca, a somatic healing practitioner and a holistic life coach for moms, and this podcast is for you. You can expect honest conversations and incredible guests that speak to health, healing and growth in every area of our lives. This isn't just strategy for what we do. It's support for who we are. I believe we can be wildly ambitious while still holding all of our soft and hard humanity as holy. I love combining deep inner healing with strategic systems and no-nonsense talk about what this season is really like. So grab whatever weird health beverage you're currently into and let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Welcome to today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. Today I have an incredible guest, brittany Burnham, and she is a mindset and business coach and she's also a podcast host of the Mom Boss Maximizer Podcast, and we did a really fun double episode where I interviewed her on this podcast and then she interviewed me on her podcast. So definitely look in the show notes and go check out her podcast. We had a lot of fun getting to connect with each other and getting to know each other. In this following conversation, we talk a lot about those pivot moments and what it's like to be in the messy middle where you're ending one thing, you're beginning a new thing, and Brittany shares a little bit of her personal experience of shifting from burnout and just what her past, what her season, has looked like. But it's really while she's sharing her personal story, there's also so many really good takeaways for you in whatever season you're in and how you want to show up to the season, especially if you are in a pivot season, if you are in a season where things aren't quite working or feeling how you want or need them to. This is such a great podcast, so, without further ado, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Brittany, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today. Will you take a minute and introduce yourself?
Speaker 2:Hi everyone. Well, first, rebecca, thank you for having me. I'm so excited for this conversation. We have a lot in common and I'm so excited to learn from you as well. I am Brittany Burnham and I am from upstate New York, in Albany. I am a gym owner called Power Performance Wellness Recovery. I have four children. I'm a bonus mama of two one of my own when I was a single mom and now we have one together and I am also an online coach for women and empower them with their mindset and with their business. I have a podcast called Mom Boss Maximizer, as you know that we love maximizing our strengths, so this is why we're here. We're here to talk about that and all the messy shit. There it is.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love it. We were talking before we started recording about how you are in a season of change, of shifting, kind of being in that messy middle season which I think I don't know about you, but I've experienced this enough times now where I don't panic anymore. That's not true. I panic all of the time. I said that I was like that's totally not accurate, but I panic and then I slow down and I'm like wait, is this the like discomfort of growth and change and like up-leveling, because it just doesn't always feel very pretty and I don't think we get to experience like what it actually feels like to be growing, because I think from the outside, looking in, some people will think it looks pretty, especially like if it's business growth, but what it feels like is so. So what is that change? What is that? Like you mentioned, like hustle and kind of changing your mindset about that. Can we?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is Well. First it's like that messy ugly crying on the bathroom floor. Mascara is coming down, or your fake eyelashes that are mine that are coming off. That has been this season, but I really firmly believe it is happening for me and this expansion season is for a bigger purpose. It's just hard to really navigate because it feels very long and it's scary. It's the fear. I'm an Enneagram three, so I don't know if you are.
Speaker 1:I love Enneagram, I do Enneagram coaching. Oh, you do.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I freaking love you. I cannot wait to talk to you more. So between the Enneagram and human design, one, the unhealthy trait of mine and the fear of mine is failure. So I have that's. That's the the, what I've been just ingrained in for my whole life, since I was six years old, the only girl on the t-ball team. You know like, always accomplishing, always achieving what's next, and my worth was always dependent on my achievements. My worth was always about which accolade and the success of, even just the grades on my tests to any sport and any medal. So that's what I was always used to. And when I built my gym 10 years ago, it was very successful. I grew an empire it used to be called Hit it With Brit, but I rebranded a couple of years ago and in one year it was full-fledged into 100 members, into an 8,000-square-foot facility.
Speaker 2:So now, in this season of growth, so much has changed in these 10 years of being an entrepreneur, where I used to my patterns, that I'm learning so much in this healing. The hustle is that I would just continue to work, work, work and avoid and suppress all the feelings and just continue to work because and it worked back then, right Like it worked, especially as a single mother. I was living on food stamps in my mom. It had to work yeah, it had to, exactly exactly. And now, 10 years later, I mean like I had experienced so much trauma from when I was 22 to just even to this day, to just even to this day, but I would just continue to mask it, which is another part of that Enneagram 3 of being seen and that highlight reel on social media. Everything's going good, but let's start to be vulnerable and share it.
Speaker 2:So this expansion season, I have been very transparent on my podcast and in my community at the gym that we're really struggling. I'm trying to figure out what to do with the gym because, as I stepped back and relied on my team for all the operations and delivering the services, I started this. I started. What's lighting me up is to a bigger impact and because I've I've impacted thousands and thousands of people at the gym and that I rebranded and also became a mother of four.
Speaker 2:So a lot of things changed and what was working then, like how I was able to achieve and all the you know, all of the things that were working Now, that's not working now, like what worked then is not going to work now for me in this, in this season of growth and opportunity, because you know, we feel it. You feel when you, when you are a visionary or even the executor and you have these core values and you believe in yourself and your mission is so strong and there's different ways we've got to navigate it through now because, being a mom of four and having in, I built this dream facility just two years ago. I poured my heart into it, my finances and everything. So in this season, right now, what I am doing is leaning on the people that get it and that has been so hard in my I would say, like my bubble here in my community. It's the not understanding, feeling misunderstood.
Speaker 2:It's feeling misunderstood and feeling alone. So I'm trying so hard to really lean in this discomfort and speak to the people like you, the women online, putting myself in the rooms. I just came back from Fresno, california, and went to an event. I'm putting on events and creating spaces because I don't want to settle for less. I know I'm meant for more and this is the message I'm trying to give to other women too, because it's very, very common and normal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what you just shared. There's so much good stuff, but at the end I want to come back to a couple of things. Sure, at the end you said something that I want to pull a thread on, because I was just talking the other day about like pedestalized women, and I'm curious if this is what you're experiencing you were talking about, like other, like your kind of community that you live with isn't really getting it, and I I wonder, tell me if this isn't what you're experiencing, cause I have no idea that, like disconnect between what you're experiencing and maybe the way you want to talk about it and the way other people would talk about it or see it or understand it. A lot of times, when women are very successful, other women pedestalize them and they think, oh my gosh, look at how great she has it Right. Like I'm hearing you've had all of this amazing success you have.
Speaker 1:Like you have this life that maybe looks really good on paper, but like your experience of your life is now saying, like this is great and you're not ungrateful. Like I can hear that you're out of what you've built. I can hear that you're grateful. I can hear that Like there's so much love for what you have. But I also hear that there's this hunger of something's off and I'm going to listen to that and I'm not just going to work harder at what's not working for me. I'm going to say like, yes, this is really good and great, but this doesn't work for me anymore and this is my one life I'm going to live. It Is that at all the experience you're having as far as, like your community, feeling you and just needing to find other people talking about it? Girl?
Speaker 2:you just hit it Like. I felt like I was just in my therapy session, which I'm so excited for tomorrow because I so need it. I that is. That is it so much, and I appreciate that you acknowledge the gratitude, because that's what I've been struggling with and that's a lot of the personal attacks that I've received from some people in my community and I don't want to put my whole community together as a whole, but-.
Speaker 1:No, I know what you mean. There can be a vibe at times.
Speaker 2:Yes, but it's energy. So it's been very clear as soon as I got into this, I built this. When I say this dream facility, it took me two and a half years to build out, and when I came in here and I had a full-time staff of five people running all the operations, I did not feel aligned, like what's missing, and all the advice was given to me was sit in it, celebrate yourself, and I'm so used to doing what's next, what's more, and, and so I take full accountability for, okay, what is next. But I did give it a couple months. Something still wasn't feeling like my heart and my head and my soul were not connected, they weren't aligned, and I was so confused and this was September of 2022. And and then life happened, like life really happened.
Speaker 2:I tore my Achilles a couple months after moving to the facility and that's like the heart. I mean, I've broken and torn everything, so, but that was it's called the kiss of death, it's the heart. I'm still struggling very much a year and a half later. And then I was. We were going through a very, very tumultuous custody battle with my bonus children and my bonus baby. We have full custody now, but that was a year of distractions, mental and emotional rollercoaster.
Speaker 2:So what you're saying is absolutely not feeling aligned and I'm all energy, I'm a three, six emotional generator for my human design. So everything that I like, my decisions, my actions, when people uh why, why people you know bought my services or came to the gym, was because it was your energy, your inspiring, your message. So that was very hard for me to to figure out and instead of really trying to slow down and figure out, what I did was just start new programs and new businesses and new brands because it was the instant gratification. So again, these patterns, I'm trying to unlearn and relearn new ones and realize that community is everything. It can be the make or break of your business and of your ego, and that's a big thing. With myself, too, is the ego. My ego has definitely pretty much been shattered on the ground in the past couple months with my gym. So I've just had to really figure out where I'm being pulled to, where that magnetism is, and it's always health, it's health, health is number one. That's why I have a gym. It was my transformation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what's so exciting, though, on a really personal note, when I hear you saying, as a three, who you were like, my ego is shattering. I was like, how beautiful, because now you get to experience that, like, the magnetism is not your persona, it's you, it's you the person like all of you, your messy parts, not just your shiny parts, not just your productivity, yes, but there's this. There's this thread in our culture and there's and it's unspoken, and this is why I'm trying to talk about it more and more and more, because the thing that creates shame is when there's like a running narrative that nobody knows, nobody's actually saying it out loud, and especially with women, there's this thread of when you are a successful woman or when you have something, you're only supposed to be grateful and yes, let's be grateful, let's be absolutely grateful. But I've been in positions in my life where it's like I was deeply grateful and that had me avoiding things that absolutely needed to be dealt with. It had me avoiding truths that I knew, that I didn't want to know. It had my hunger became the problem, instead of saying I'm hungry, I need to eat. Not a problem that you have something that you love and then you're saying more please, or I'm going to change what I want. I'm going to change what I desire.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with you desiring something different, even if you're grateful for what you have, and I think that is such a shame filled piece that keeps women from doing any kind of change. It keeps them in this place where they're like well, I'm afraid, so I can't do it, and I'm like, well, no, I'm afraid, because you're breaking out of the norm of you should just be happy with what you have. And I have this full belief that I'm like I'm very happy with what I have, I'm very happy, I am perfectly content. If nothing ever changed, I would be very content, but I'm still freaking hungry. And I'm someone who sees the gap. I'm someone who wants to incite change in my life and it's like, why not keep growing? Why not keep changing? Why not stay curious and playful? Isn't that the point?
Speaker 1:Like I don't write kids and like I look at my kids and I'm like, oh my gosh, I love this 12 year old, I love, I love who you are, I love what you're doing, but I also want to see who you're going to become. Yes, I want that to stop as an adult and so that chain of like you looking around your life and saying, like, I love this, I'm grateful for it, I'm proud of what I built, and now it's time to do something different. But then also witnessing. You know I hear you saying there's this like, there's this, being on the treadmill of growth, where you constantly have to like, chase something outside of yourself right, like that hustle mentality of like you have to kill yourself to get there, versus this opportunity of like. What is it? How has that hustle mentality changed as far as, like, you're still building things, you're still changing, you're still growing? What is the difference between that hustle mentality and what you're experiencing now?
Speaker 2:for you, that's such a good question. I love that because that's what I'm trying to give to my clients and because I'm seeing such a difference in myself and my awareness, my identity, because that is the first thing when we're in of us feeling like, oh, I can't complain because I don't sound grateful. It's not complaining, it's also that opportunity to to you know here, get out of your head and we need to get into our body more. So that gratitude absolutely no one. And this is why I love being surrounded by women like you and be able to talk on this, because that's that, that's why women feel so isolated and that's why we have to continue to expand on that.
Speaker 2:But to what has what? Have I done differently to it? I heard this term from Natalie Ellis, the CEO of Boss Babe, a year ago, and she easy term, simplify to amplify and I'm like, wow, that's just, that's it. So I use it for everything, whether it be with my kids, with my team, with my online programs and masterminds. But this was something, just a little shift like that with not having to work. As soon as I wake up, I'm working. At night, my kids go to sleep, I'm working. And what has really shifted is focusing on my nervous system, which has slowed me down the past. I have been with a neurological chiropractor since May and I go two to three times a week. She takes these scans of my nervous system and it's really just helped with perspective, but also with the fight or flight mode, because everything is just like on to the next.
Speaker 2:And with four kids my three older ones are active, so it's constant with every sport, every activity. My five-year-old is, you know, thinking like she's grown. So it is one of those things like we do have a choice. A lot of times we say, oh, you know, how do you do it? We don't have a choice. Well, we do have a choice, but it's just how, how you want to also be that role model for your children.
Speaker 2:Because even just yesterday, mike, we, for the first time I couldn't even tell you when we didn't have any activities. And I'm like you know what we're doing today. We're going to be, we're going to cook, we're going to clean, we're going to rest. And it was like so hard for my one kid that's mine, because she's so used to going, going, going, going, going, doing, doing, doing. And then I'm like it's okay to rest, it's okay to pause, it's okay to just not be doing anything.
Speaker 2:So it is that like if I'm doing it and communicating it, whether it be to my team, whether it be to my children and my partner and my fiance, because he's very much like me, he was a professional athlete just like, constantly in the hustle mode and it just hasn't served us at 40. I'm 42 years old. You know like I don't want to be doing that and teaching my children that it's not okay to slow down, it's not okay so that the nervous system work and really working on my, our time blocking and time management and like our routine, like the rhythm, the rhythm of our life, with how busy it is and and when to put it down, has really helped.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and it's so many women are.
Speaker 1:You know, there's a new kind of trend I don't know if you've noticed it where people talk a lot about like the easy life, where it just seems like all they do is rest, right, like there are these entrepreneurs and they share this vision, where, like, it just seems like they're always on vacation or all they do is like walk in the fields with their children and their chickens.
Speaker 1:I love rest, but I also really love being ambitious, really hard. I like this, and I think there's so many women who are in the hustle and they're terrified that slowing down actually means stopping, or that, if they're terrified that if they stop they won't be able to start again, which also sign you're probably in burnout, because when you're burnt out, it feels like your foot is like glued to the gas pedal Absolutely, I can't stop if I wanted to. Or it's glued to the to the brake pedal and you're like I couldn't go if I wanted to. It's because your nervous system is in these responses. But what's beautiful about the nervous system and I don't think this is talked about enough is that your nervous system was meant for movement, to fight, to work and to rest, to go slow to stop, to have pleasure, to have joy and connection.
Speaker 1:And so it's so beautiful to recognize that resting or slowing down, or being in this season where you're saying I'm still putting in the work, I'm still building something, I'm still honoring this hunger and this ambition in me. But I'm doing, putting in the work, I'm still building something, I'm still honoring this hunger and this ambition in me. But I'm doing that from a place of permission, not perfectionism. I'm doing that from a place of I want this. I'm doing this from a place of desire, not shame-based hustling, where I have to prove my worth and I have to work myself to the bone. It's saying, no, this matters and I'm going to work towards this.
Speaker 1:And that's not always fun, it's not always cutesy, right, but it matters to me. And so, building a life where you feel safe, you feel safe to go really fast or really slow or to change pace or to change direction, that is life ownership, right, like that is you. But also there's this thread too, and you know you've shared a couple pieces where, like life is going to life, like there's so much outside of your control, but it's not really in this place where you're witnessing. You know these things happened.
Speaker 1:I'm going to choose how I'm going to respond to it, how I'm going to relate and react to it, and one of the themes that we were talking about was resilience. What does that word mean to you and what does that look like on a daily basis for those, for the women who are like hustling and they want to change that, but they don't know how? What does resilience look like there for you? What does?
Speaker 2:resilience. Look like there for you. Oh, it is showing up.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's showing up messy ugly. It's showing up with the good energy, with lacking of energy. It's not perfect, it's never going to be perfect. Resilience is when you're taking those obstacles and you're turning them into opportunities. So that's it. Taking action and that is the hardest thing. I mean straight up with what's been going on in this current season. This is the first time I've ever experienced struggling to get out of my bed, because I'm usually energy in the morning. Let's go. I'm grateful. I get to right, I get to go to the gym, I get to put my kids on the bus, I get. It's like that, that mindset, that that. But, however like their resilience is when you're in it, if you're in the trenches, if you're in the valley. It's that one step forward every day. It's doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and taking it one day at a time.
Speaker 2:I do the Power Nine with my kids, I do it with myself. It is an easy exercise. We try to do this every day. We try to do it every day, especially in the car with your children. This is such a great exercise and my kids love it. I did not think they were going to receive this as well, as well as I did. So it's three things you're grateful for, three things you're excited about and three things that you're manifesting. I got this from Lori Harder and she and we've been doing it and it's a great way just to start your day or end your day and also to know where your kids are at.
Speaker 2:But also just perspective on this resilience and we're always when you're in the tough of it, like when you're really going through the season that you're in. I call it the season of fuckery. It was a panel at my event. I'm working on my mini course from fuckery to freedom but when you're in this season of fuckery, it is showing up. And how does that look? It's different for everyone. It is really. And how does that look? It's different for everyone. It's different every day and it's scary and lots of fear.
Speaker 2:And when you're at a place where you can find the resources or the people to lean on, that's the resilience is like what is this doing for me? I always say if you're handed it, you can handle it, and that has been my motto since I became a single mother. I saw that quote and I'm like okay, so there's a reason for this and there was, and that overcoming, like when I was a single parent and I was on food stamps and I was on WIC. I was living in my mom's basement and I built my business having no clue, no mentorship, no money. That resilience just built more grit and that created more connections and more opportunities.
Speaker 2:So resilience is that muscle and that's why I always say the gateway drug to success is your health, is to focus on your health holistically, and that's why we also rebranded to Power Performance, wellness Recovery to incorporate the rest and to have that holistic perspective and mindset in the health and wellness field, because we used to be just six days a week boom, boom, boom, boom. Killing your body and not even like going for a walk is okay. So this is what happens to as you get, you know, as you start to evolve and you change your priority, shift, your body changes and we can't keep comparing ourself to what we used to be or how we used to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and something you said of resilience as a muscle, and I look at my life and I think of me three years ago, two years ago, long time ago, and it's like I'm still me, but I've built a lot of muscle that I didn't used to have. I've built a lot of muscle that I didn't use to have right.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 1:I built a lot of muscle of you know resilience as a muscle and what I love about that is it's something you can build by taking action over and over.
Speaker 1:Like, if you think of like, if you're trying to build your bicep muscle, you're going to have to have a weight, hold it, pick it up, put it down, pick it up, lift it rest, lift it rest, and you're going to have to do that over and over and over, and I think a lot of people. There is a very clear messaging online that things can be easy, things should be easy, and it's like no, the easy comes from when you've built a body and you've built the muscle and you've built a, you've built an emotional nervous system and holistic health. Easy doesn't come unless until you've done the work, and even then, that ease every time you want to up-level your abilities, your strength, right Like. I'm in a season right now where I see this, this kind of new thing, and I'm saying I can't keep doing what I've done, because what I, what I've done, got me here and here is great. I love here. There's nothing wrong here.
Speaker 2:And it won't get you there.
Speaker 1:It won't get me where I'm trying to go. I've got some new muscle and some of this muscle it's uncomfortable to build.
Speaker 2:I don't like it, like working out.
Speaker 1:Working out is the perfect analogy for every emotional healing. It truly is Like it. Because it's like I, the things that I don't like doing the most in the gym. I usually avoid them, right, yes, don't like doing them, they're uncomfortable, bad at them, like I just want to deadlift all day, every day, because I'm good at that. Right, I, fricking girl.
Speaker 1:I've been doing workouts lately where it's like a group workout and you have to do what the trainer's saying, and we did jumping the other day and it was like I hate jumping, I'm not good at it, I feel insecure. I was jumping on a box that was like half the height of the other kids. It did not feel good and I was like this is me developing the skill to jump, like, if I want to have this skill, which seems so silly, but it's like I'm not good at jumping. No, no, what is that in your life that you want to get good at doing? And don't let the fact that you're not good at it or that it's uncomfortable or that you're a failure right now, because that's how you get good at things. You do it over and over and over.
Speaker 2:Repetition repetition consistency.
Speaker 1:And I really do think that is so much a part of our mental and emotional health that people don't talk about it, that it is a skill to build up your mind. It is a skill to build up the capacity to feel emotion right Any problematic thing you're having in a relationship or your business ownership, or even in your personal health and wellness. There's probably a skill that you could develop that will help you build that. But, like, skills don't just come, they're not just given, and there are people who are going to be naturally better at it than you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and it's. I'm so glad that you're acknowledging this too and bringing this up, because this is why I had this, not had. But when I started transitioning to the online space, I'm like this is so easy because I'm a coach, I'm a coach on the floor and everything is mindset. I didn't know. I mean, yes, I got my certification, I got my master's in sports administration. I was always an athlete, but I had no idea about the actual anatomy and physiology of the body and really like the correcting of form with the gym. What I know is how to lift people up, how to motivate them, how to encourage them, how to first get into their head and then they start to transform their bodies and to hold them accountable. So that's what's.
Speaker 2:This is why the gym is the perfect analogy, representation of a person's commitment and dedication to whatever there is that they're doing in life and trying to overcome, because it does connect, no matter what. It starts with the mindset, that transformation that everyone wants, that freedom that everyone wants, when you're doing it in the gym and doing the repetitions, those reps, those reps and building and building. That's changing, that's evolving. Building and building that's changing, that's evolving, and it has opened up so many doors out there. So this is why that instant gratification, that's what's hard for people. People think you're going to start a business and I hear a lot of women like it's been three months or I'm struggling. It's been six months. I'm like girl.
Speaker 1:How long is this going to take, is a very common theme in my life lately. I don't know if you've seen the Madagascar movies like the little King Julian and he's like how long is this going to take?
Speaker 1:I hear that yes, and all of the time. And I had an. I had a guest on a couple of weeks ago, stephanie LaFleur, and she said the timing is none of your business. And I was like I keep hearing her say that over and over of, like the timing is none of my business, but I keep coming back to like what is within my control to show up, to do, and I think that's such a big piece of resilience and really anything in life, because I think there's there's a ton of bullshit out there when it comes to personal growth and healing and especially entrepreneurship.
Speaker 1:There's so much bullshit that makes it seem like there's some perfect formula and the reality is is one. There is no perfect formula. And if it is a perfect formula, it won't be for you, because they aren't married to your partner, they don't have your kids, they don't have your body, they don't have your trauma history, they don't have your kids, they don't have your body, they don't have your trauma history, they don't have your work schedule. They don't have and it's like that's not to say that you can't grow wisdom from them, but that's just to say that you have to be in relationship to yourself in order to change. There has to be a relating not just to what you're doing right, like that action, taking action, taking action. There has to be a relationship to what you're taking action to and not just what does it look like, but how does it feel?
Speaker 1:I feel like this is a piece that so many women miss because we're so used to performance, we're so used to someone just tell me what steps to make, and I'll make them. Someone tell me what to do, and I'll do it. And I think what happens is these women they're doing all of the steps and they're doing all of the moves, but they're like it doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, like well, that's because you're performing, and what's so fascinating. I've worked with a lot of women who change nothing on the surface, but it will feel completely different. Or they completely change what they're doing, right, and it feels completely different because now they're in this space where they're relating to, to their lived experience not just what they're performing for other people, so I even that's fulfillment.
Speaker 2:Like that's that'sillment yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think, with motherhood, with so many areas of your life, it's so easy to look at am I doing good? Am I doing good? Someone told me that I'm doing good versus. Is this aligned with my values? Am I showing up to who I want to be? It's this finding oh, you said something earlier and I was trying to think of the word to use because it was so good. I can't think of it.
Speaker 1:But this permission of like you're allowed to do things, you're allowed to mobilize and work hard and hustle, but it doesn't have to feel like you're running on a treadmill, having permission to slow down, having permission to shift but one of the things we've talked about and I want to hear a little bit more from you how can you feel and let me know if this question doesn't make sense but if, how do you feel personally in your body when you're feeling the uncomfort of burnout, like I'm uncomfortable because I'm not doing the right things and I want to change the space I'm in? Or the discomfort of growth? Okay, like that discomfort of like this isn't working for me and I just like do I either push through this discomfort or do I need to live it with this discomfort? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. So just for an example, experience of this is I wasn't feeling aligned and comfortable with our mentors at the gym, our mentors I hired. I was paying like $2,400 a month for this mentorship group. They mentored my coaches myself, but for and I had them for almost three years, like two and a half years and but towards the last year we changed my methodology of the gym, the whole methodology, just like the sales process, and I wasn't a big fan, but I was trusting the process, trusting the process and really trying to see if this is going to work and make the shift that we're seeing with the numbers and everything and connecting it. Finally, I just felt it. My team didn't feel it If I wasn't fully bought in and I wasn't doing my work and I wasn't even holding my team accountable. I knew there had been a pivot. Now that was in the gym. But when I'm thinking of right now, have you heard of the book the Gap and the Gain?
Speaker 2:I've heard of it, but I haven't read it, it's by oh my gosh, I'll shoot you an email or a text I forgot.
Speaker 1:We'll put it in the notes.
Speaker 2:Okay. So the gap and the gain is a great way when you're in this season of expansion or you're struggling with the measurement and, like you said, kind of like the validation so we have. The gap is when you're measuring yourself in the gap versus the gain. So the gain is when you're measuring yourself from the past, of where you came, like what you've accomplished so far. So if I were to measure myself in from a year and I'm like I'm still in the same spot from a year ago, but what are you like? Finding the gratitude or finding the things spot from a year ago? But what are you like finding the gratitude or finding the things that you've overcome, the things that you've accomplished, versus when you're measuring yourself in the gain of the future and I'm not there yet. I'm not there and keep measuring yourself there? That is a recipe for disaster. You're just going to keep doing the same cycle, the same, the same burnout. You know trends, but it goes much deeper than that. It's such an incredible book and it's such a good good like visual reference. When you break it down, that has really helped. When you're thinking of like, do I keep pushing for this? That has really helped. When you're thinking I'm like do I keep pushing for this, for that, when I'm measuring myself out there, or do I need to pivot? And I think it's all on your energy.
Speaker 2:I know, when I woke up in the first five years of my brick and mortar I was like 4 am, let's go. I'm coaching, I've got 60, 70, 80 people in a class and they are there, they need my help. I'm coaching, I've got 60, 70, 80 people in a class and like they are there, they need my help. I'm here to serve them and that energy has changed, just because I've changed and I've evolved and I have different priorities and I, my freedoms, have shifted too. So but what's helped with that is a lot of journaling. Journaling has been a game changer as well, to refer back to, as well to refer back. But I never did. I wish I journaled more in the first five years, six years of my entrepreneurial journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and journaling is such a good man, that's such a good tool for that. When you're like I don't really know, Because I think journaling one of the things that it unlocks and that it taps into is you tapping into what you know, what you trust it taps into. You know things that you're pretending not to know a lot of times, and I think journaling will tap into your different perspectives, your different fears that are holding you back, but also the different things that you want, need, and just it can help you map it out. I love mapping things where, like, you put something in the center and then you put like, for, let's say, like you have two different options, or you start saying, Ooh, here's my two big options, what's my third option? And and one of the things that I like to tell people is, what are your reasons for choosing it?
Speaker 1:So you know, when people are stuck in that place of I don't know what to do, and it's like, or you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, but you're like, oh, do I just keep pushing through? It's like, well, what are your reasons for pushing through? And do you like your reasons? Because, at the end of the day. There's often not a right and a wrong answer, and if there is, you'll find it and then you'll take it. But if there's not a right or a wrong answer, there's only do you like the reasons you're choosing it?
Speaker 1:Are you owning the fact that doing this thing is choosing, but also doing nothing is also choosing, Like staying and continuing to do the same action over and over? If you can own that choice, choosing matters so much more than doing so. It's like if you can own what you're choosing, that changes everything. This, yeah, Brittany, this conversation has been so much fun. Do you feel like there's any closed loops or things that you would like? Something else you want to say that just ties this together you want to say.
Speaker 2:That just ties this together. I am such a proponent and a woman who has really grown into finding my identity and giving that to other women and a lot of women. What I've been hearing a lot from women and their questions where I'm like they don't even know what their strengths are, they don't know what their superpower is, they don't know what their zone of genius is. And that is the first step to everything. If you're feeling stuck at finding those, seek support on that, because sometimes you can't do it alone. If you're feeling so stuck and frustrated and it feels very chaotic because they're like, oh, I have these skills and these traits and this is what I'm doing right now, it's like all the things, especially for mothers, all the tabs are open, there's so much distraction. So putting that side of time of finding those strengths I started. That's why I named my podcast Mom Boss Maximizer, because I went to Clifton Strengths have you heard of Clifton and Maximizer was my number one treat and it's finding potential in others and finding their strengths.
Speaker 2:So that is so hard for women to find that but also to own it and what does that look like? So this is what I tap into in the beginning of my coaching, my one-on-one coaching. This is what I'm creating in my mini course is that step and that's what I've been seeing? That's missing a lot, so that's why we're trying to create it. So, if you're feeling like exact same thing, like if you're feeling something that's missing, create it and let it be freaking messy, because you're only going to learn from it, and failure is failure, is only feedback, like failing I failed so much, made so many mistakes and it is just. It's only going to help you.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, oh man, that's so good. I love that, and you know you just shared Clifton Strengths. Earlier we were talking about Enneagram. Those are two really great ways to start learning more about you and how you operate and your operating systems and like what's showing up beneath the surface of what you're doing. Those are two really great ways to get to know yourself, not just on like the surface level, but a little bit deeper. That gives you really helpful information for all facets of your life. This was such a great conversation. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:I'll share your Instagram. Is there anywhere else where people can find you?
Speaker 2:I will give you. I'll give you the other Instagram. Yeah, my podcast, but also we have a event coming up in March called Guts Girls Using their Strengths in Albany, new York. So there's another Instagram there where it's so empowering, it's so much fun. It's, it's the event, it's not, it's like your non-corporate-y feel that that we all love and need. So, thank, you so? Much for having me. This was awesome.
Speaker 1:This was so much fun. Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining me on today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. Make sure you have subscribed below so that you see all of the upcoming podcasts that are coming soon. I hope you take today's episode and you take one aha moment, one small, tangible piece of work that you can bring into your life. To get your hands a little dirty, to get your skin in the game. Don't forget to take up audacious space in your life. If this podcast moved you, if it inspired you, if it encouraged you, please do me a favor and leave a review, send an episode to a friend. This helps the show gain more traction. It helps us to support more moms, more women, and that's what we're doing here. So I hope you have an awesome day, take really good care of yourself and I'll see you next time. Thank you.
