The Motherhood Mentor

Defining success in business, health, and motherhood as a highly ambitious woman with Ash McDonald, my OG Mentor and Business Coach

• Rebecca Dollard: Somatic Mind-Body Life Coach, Enneagram Coach, Speaker, Boundaries Coach, Mindset • Season 1 • Episode 34

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This episode is a really special one for me as I have my OG mentor and business coach Ash Mcdonald as my guest. Ashley has such a special place in my life and business. 

In this conversation we dive into what success look and feel like when you're highly ambitious, a mother, and an entrepreneur/business owner? In this conversation, Ash, a therapist-turned-business mentor, shares her own transformational story of navigating ambition, burnout, and redefining what success truly means—both in her career and personal life.

 Together, we unpack how ambition, business growth, and motherhood intersect—and how to navigate them without falling into the trap of burnout, especially when you are a high functioning woman who can hold a lot. 

We discuss and share about:

  1. How her definition of success has evolved over the years, especially after becoming a mother
  2. The pressures of being a highly ambitious woman and how to manage them without sacrificing your well-being
  3. The role of ambition in shaping our careers—and how to handle it when it feels like too much
  4. Her decision to step and scale back from a successful business to prioritize personal fulfillment
  5. Selling and dropping all the external definitions of success and finding what serves her and her family in this season 
  6. Practical advice on how to redefine your success criteria to align with your values, desires, and well-being

If you're a mom or a business owner looking to balance a thriving career without losing yourself in the process, this episode is a must-listen. Ash’s insights will empower you to make intentional choices that support both your business and personal life, without compromising your peace or staying in cycles of burnout. 

Meet Ash McDonald: Ash is a walking contradiction: working less than 15 hours a week, running a multi-6-figure business, homeschooling her kids, and traveling the world.

But, it didn't start that way.

After years of hustling herself into burnout, she realized the true cost of my success—her well-being. She rebuilt her business from the inside out, prioritizing emotional healing, nervous system regulation, and sustainable success. Today, she help high-achieving women like you do the same—without sacrificing your peace. 

You can find her here: 

Ash's Podcast
Instagram
Website
Becoming Her Free Guide

Chapter Markers: 

  • 0:02- Evolution of Success as an Entrepreneur
  • 11:45- Redefining Success and Burnout Recovery
  • 21:59- Defining Success Through Personal Criteria
  • 33:09- Reevaluating Identity and Success Definition
  • 44:21- Embracing Personal Growth and Authenticity
  • 55:37- Navigating Ever-Changing Personal Definitions of Success




Join us next time as we continue to explore the multifaceted journey of motherhood.

Thank you for tuning in to The Motherhood Mentor. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review us.

Stay connected with us on social media and share your thoughts and experiences tagging @themotherhoodmentor

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. I'm Becca, a somatic healing practitioner and a holistic life coach for moms, and this podcast is for you. You can expect honest conversations and incredible guests that speak to health, healing and growth in every area of our lives. This isn't just strategy for what we do. It's support for who we are. I believe we can be wildly ambitious while still holding all of our soft and hard humanity as holy. I love combining deep inner healing with strategic systems and no-nonsense talk about what this season is really like. So grab whatever weird health beverage you're currently into and let's get into it.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast, and I am just so excited for today's episode because I have Ashley McDonald, who was kind of my OG mentor coach, and we're both just like smiling right now because it's been so long since we've been on a Zoom together. But I'm just so excited to have her and we're going to talk about success and how it changes and how it shifts, and even just being intentional about what success means and what it looks like. So, ashley, will you introduce yourself?

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh, my goodness, yes, this is very like my heart is fluttering with, just like such excitement to be in front of you because we started working together back in 2019, I want to say Yep.

Speaker 2:

Very long time ago and worked together for a long time and I've just always been such a huge, huge fan of you and so I just feel really honored. It feels kind of like a full circle moment, because when you came to me, you were like I want to be a coach, I want to do this thing, and now what you've created and what you do and how you serve, it's just, it's so cool.

Speaker 1:

So anyhow, you were like the midwife who helped me like that's going to sound dirty, but can see and birth the motherhood mentor out into the world, and both professionally and just personally, so that it's pretty special now to have you on the podcast. It's pretty cool Very special.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love it, okay. So who am I? I am a mom of three. I am a therapist by trade, so that's kind of where my roots come from. I ran a private practice for years and then eventually moved into the online space, where I found myself in a role that I kind of created as a therapeutic business mentor.

Speaker 2:

Because I have just a very strong, firm belief that when we, especially as women, create businesses, there's a lot of depth to it, there's a lot of reasoning behind it, there's a lot of roots to like why we're doing this thing, whether it be, you know, receiving the attention or accolades or love or worthiness that we didn't receive at some point in our lives. Or, you know, it's creating something because we're so, so driven by an experience that we've had that now we want to set it right, we want to do something different. It always there's always a very personal touch to it. There's no, there's no separation, I guess you can say between we'll call it church and state here, like you just can't separate it. It's who you are.

Speaker 2:

And so very early on in my own entrepreneurial journey, you know, I ran a private practice. I ran a couple of network marketing companies and had a ton of success before I even moved into the coaching space. So I've been an entrepreneur now for over 12 years and it was very apparent to me like I use my therapeutic skillset so much more than anything else, and so when I started to acquire all these amazing business skillsets, I thought, man, this is what the world needs. It needs both. It needs someone who can hold space for your drive and your ambitions and what you want in your life, but also space for the fear that you carry and the emotional rollercoaster that it is, and the trauma-informed practices that maybe you don't even know you're utilizing. When you wake up in the morning, you know. And so that's what I do while raising my kiddos. We travel full-time and I homeschool all three of my kids ages six, eight and 10. And yeah, it's a wild, beautiful, wonderful life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you mentioned. You mentioned that like there's, there's the strategy of business. Well, this isn't the language you use, but like, there's the strategy of business, which is the like on paper what do you do? But then there's the like. What is the heart behind it and how does it feel? What does it actually look and feel like For you? What has success as an entrepreneur and as a woman, and how have those blended together and been separate? Or, you know, what does that look like for you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh my gosh, it has been such an evolution. You know, when I first started in this entrepreneurial journey, I wasn't a mom, so I really experienced it from a completely different world. In fact, I was in private practice. When I started my private practice many, many years ago, I had a lot of success out the gate, and so I started to consult with other private practice therapists on how to build their private practice, and so I'm like, oh my gosh, I did it. Look at me. I got my master's degree and a licensure and all these things you know.

Speaker 2:

And then your girl got pregnant unexpectedly not in the in the plans at all, and really quickly and sort of uncomfortably learned. Like, oh my gosh, all this overhead, all these other things and while raising a baby like this isn't going to work, you know. So that's when I moved into network marketing and I did that for probably like five or six years. I really need to go back and like see what the math is. I feel like I never really know but a while while having other children and and then eventually coming into this online space. But throughout, throughout, all of it, so much change, I mean, I think, even just speaking to motherhood in general, like what ambition looks like before kids, during pregnancy, with infants and newborns, toddlerhood. Like I'm only my oldest is only 10. So that's all that I've experienced thus far, but I can tell you that how I witnessed success, how I experienced success on this day is is it's wildly different than how I experienced success six months ago. And so I think what's important to note here is that it is our actual duty as entrepreneurs and especially if you identify as an ambitious woman in any way it's our duty to constantly be checking in with. But what does success mean right now for me? Because when we don't and this is kind of with anything with the word success, with the, with anything with the word success, with the word balance, with the word anything, I mean, we could put a whole slew of words here and if you haven't taken the time to identify for you what it means, then it runs you because it's so unclear, it's so murky and, trust me, I've been there. I've had the wake up moment of like oh shit, this isn't what I wanted, this was never even what I was going. Like how did I end up here, you know, and I think that's those were moments when I realized like oh, I wasn't really clear, I wasn't taking the intentional time to go, but what does success mean for me? What does it feel like for me? What do I? What I want that to be? You know and we talked a little bit previously about how I actually had a big, big ass wake up moment Now it's been I guess it's only been like less than a year a year.

Speaker 2:

Last Christmas, around Christmas time, I was looking around in this big, beautiful house. We traveled full time around the country all of 2022. And then we decided to come back and land and there's a lot of story behind that, but we came back and I was having the most success I've ever experienced in my life and my business, which was so good, and I we said let's build our dream home, you know, $1.2 million later. Let's furnish our dream home. $75,000 later. Let's buy our dream car, $75,000 later. Let's do. Let's do this, let's do, you know, let's join this country club. Like this is the thing you know, and I know that this is not everybody's, but for whatever reason, this is what it felt like. Like now I can do it and had my mom out for Christmas last year and I'm looking around and she's so happy she's decorating my house, she's like a whole thing.

Speaker 2:

And I kind of had this moment where I was like, oh no, this was her dream. This was never my dream. I remember growing up and I remember my mom saying I just wish I could have a really big house and I wish that I could have this and I wish I could experience that and I wish that I could have this, and I wish I could experience that and I wish I could have that, and I internalized it, all of it. And in that moment, when I, you know, at that point I was probably three months into just feeling a deep, deep unhappiness that I could not quite identify. And it's, you know, when you're there and you're like but wait, like what do I have to be unhappy about? You know, like, my family is healthy, I've got this great career, I'm making more money than I ever could have dreamed of, I live in this beautiful home, like what is the matter, you know? And it was in this moment that I was like, oh, it's because I'm living somebody else's dream and I wasn't quite ready to see that until that moment.

Speaker 2:

And so, less than a year after building our dream home and furnishing it and doing all these things. We sold everything the house, stuff, car, every last thing, which is one of the most uncomfortable things to do, especially when the world is looking and going. What you had it all, yeah, but I didn't. I had somebody else's all, and this is like, if that is your all fucking, all the power to you. I love that for you, but my all looked a lot different.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, this I love that you shared about what it looks like versus what it feels like, because I really do think people don't talk about the American dream anymore, but there truly really is this idolized version of you, like I'll be better when. I'll be happy when, and for so many women that looks different, right success in their body or their image, or what their home looks like or their motherhood, that sneaky perfectionism where perfectionism doesn't often show up as I need everything to be perfect, it's I just need this one more thing and then I'll finally feel good. And it's so deeply rooted in shame of there's something wrong with you. But I think what you spoke to is so powerful because I think a lot of there's so much comparison happening in women still, especially in the entrepreneurial world, where women say, once I have my business at this income then, and the reality is, is that so many women get there and they built it off of burnout or they built it off of again building a business or a livelihood or even a personality based off of something they didn't inherently choose, based off of their own heart or gut of?

Speaker 1:

Can you even feel and know what you want and like, or is this just something someone told you and it became this deeply held belief. So I love that you had truly like the bravery and the vulnerability to be in that position and kind of unpedestalize this like you should be happy. I like to call it like we sweep this like under the rug of good and grateful, of like, oh, I should be good and grateful because I have this really good marriage. Well, that doesn't mean I can't say I want this thing to shift, I want it to feel different, I want it to look different, and that can be this holy hunger of I'm full, I like this, but I actually I need something different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's okay. I think that's the biggest thing. Right, it's okay to want to make those shifts, but that's not necessarily what society always tells us. You know, and and at this point you know, when I had this big epiphany, I shut my whole business down. So that was just literally Jan one of this year. For five months I just disappeared and part of it was like you know, you have this hindsight of okay, I've been unhappy. You know you have this hindsight of okay, I've been unhappy. You know, I stepped on the scale and I was 70 pounds overweight. You know, somewhere in there, like just not my best self, I didn't feel good. I was losing my hair, like there were so many things that were going on. And it's so funny because on the outside, looking in you know anybody to see my bank account, to see my marriage side. Looking in you know anybody to see my bank account, to see my marriage, to see there were so many things that were just great.

Speaker 2:

But I was living somebody else's idea of success and in fact, even since then I intentionally, purposely cut my business in half because I recognized when I was able to really sit and ponder, like, yeah, $70,000 months is a really exciting thing to achieve. That's about where I was. That's a very exciting thing to achieve. But it wasn't ever anything I wanted. It was just that I'd hit 20. So then I do 30, right, I'd hit 30. So then I do 40, I'd hit 40. So then I should do 50,. 50 turns to 60, 60 turned to 70. And at that point I was like, okay, so now I have to hit a hundred thousand dollar a month. But when I sat and asked myself, but for what reason? Like why, what it? What comes from that? What is it that I have on the other side of this thing that I'm trying to achieve? And the truth was it was never anything I wanted. It was just this idea that, like I am only successful if I continue to get better.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like this constant chasing of the carrot, but you're on a treadmill, so no matter. You know those CrossFit treadmills where, like the faster you run, the faster it goes.

Speaker 1:

I refuse to run on those because I but I think a lot of women do this where they get almost obsessed with growth and healing but, coming from this place of like, obsessive consumption and creation, and they never slow down enough to enjoy it or feel it, or be in it and like, savor it. And it doesn't mean you don't want growth or healing. But is it this treadmill or is it a permission Like? Is it a pressure that feels exhausting and hard, or is it this permission of aliveness, of like, what else is next? How can I change? How can I develop? So how does success look for you in this season and how, how do you clearly define it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So one thing I do want to say, as somebody who you know has such a strong background you know, obviously professional development, personal development, is so important to me and then also, you know, I have a master's in counseling psychology and a master's in sociology Like it's been a huge part of who I am and I think it's important to state like I, I went through what I went through being so conscious and so like I wouldn't have identified with being. You know, I'm lost in the sauce. I don't do being Like, in fact, one of the things that I think is so important to note here is that if you would have looked in on my life, there wasn't anything that was identified as your traditional form of burnout, right, like I never worked more than a few hours a day. I walked every day, I nourished myself, I you know all the things that we should do. I had a regulated nervous system because I was doing breath work and I was meditating, and I had a therapist and I you know all these things and I just I think it's, I think I have to state that with integrity, because I think those tend to be the people, those of us who are high achievers but are so aware. Those are the ones where the burnout. It takes a lot longer to become clear.

Speaker 2:

Actually, I got my nervous system scanned about a year and a half ago and I can't speak to this too much, but it was this really great like chiropractic office that does this, like nervous system scan, this whole thing, okay, and they were like, wow, you have such an intro. I've never seen a scan like this, which, of course, I'm like well, that's not shocking, but they're like you. It's like you have a on the outside and wildly regulated nervous system like everything about you, so calm, but it's almost like you've taken all this anxiety and depression and you've just filed it away and it's very organized, but it's still there. But nobody would know because you're so good at like oh, I feel this thing coming on. Where is it coming from? Why do I feel it? What does my body need? I'm a listener, you know like I was doing all the right things, except for just the simple question of what do I want? What do?

Speaker 1:

I want, and I wonder too, if it's, what do you need?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know I wasn't. I was responding to my, like you said, I was high functioning. I was responding to every thing that came in. I was, you know, so well adjusted. So you know, like again, people would look in and be like, damn, this girl, she gets a massage every single week. She walks over 10,000 steps a day. She never misses a workout. She eats so great she. Then why is she 75 pounds overweight? What is going? You know what I mean? Like it was like all the things. Why is she losing all of her hair? Like she goes to bed on time, she takes all the vitamins, she has sex with her husband, she's present with her children, she's, you know. And I think that was what was so frustrating for it all, because I was looking for a problem to solve. Then, what is wrong? I'm not overworking, I don't have too much. What is wrong? And it was just a misalignment in what I truly wanted. That was it. It was that simple and also that complicated.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh my gosh, what you just described is so powerful because, I mean, you described high functioner to a T, and this is something that I'm consistently trying to teach my clients is that, like your struggle will not show up how you think it will, it will be these whiffs of smoke that are so easy for you to ignore and you can keep functioning with them. You absolutely can, because you are so good at functioning and filing them away. And I like to say, like we're the best bullshitters ever, because like we can bullshit ourselves and like our coaches, even of like it's so easy for us, almost, like it's almost that second nature and it's subtleties. It's subtleties that show up in our body and in our hearts and our spirit, and it's often not the way things look. It's like that duck where, like things look so good but how it feels matters so much.

Speaker 1:

Which is why I've loved the field of somatics is because, especially for high functioners, things look so good even to them. And so teaching them to feel this subtlety and not ignore it when we're I can keep functioning, I can file this away, but for how long and at what cost and at what stakes, because eventually it does come out. So for you? You noticed that you shifted it, so how have you redefined success Like what does that look like right now?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I had to really spend a lot of time asking myself, as simple as the question sounds, I love the idea of like asking a question but being willing to ask it over and over and over and over again, and so I really had to sit with. You know what do? I believe success means period, not just for me, but in general. What is the word success mean? So I started there with just defining the word success and then, once I felt pretty clear on my idea of what the actual definition of success was, then I was able to move on and go. So what does success mean to me? What does it feel like to me when I'm successful? And I started just to be very honest and genuine here, like I started with, just listing all the times in my life when I felt successful, like in my body, when I just felt really successful and I don't think anybody's going to be surprised to hear this. But it was very rarely related to how much money was in my bank account. It was very rarely related to anything that is stereotypical to like the achievers dream. It was account. It was very rarely related to anything that is stereotypical to like the achiever's dream.

Speaker 2:

It was moments. It was, you know, the the, the morning, when you wake up and you go outside and it's this perfect sunlight and you're walking with your partner and your hands are embraced and you'd rather be nowhere else. You know, like this is right now where I want to be. It's it was for me, recognizing that when we traveled, even though I had so much, so many opinions and so many voices, even if very subtle, that basically made me question everything Like what if your kids don't have friends? What if you know they miss these pieces? You used to have birthday parties. He's in Italy. He's not having a birthday party To be fair.

Speaker 1:

let's look at the mental and emotional, physical well-being of most American children. And I don't know, Is that who you want to get advice?

Speaker 2:

I know, and it's hard. I mean, I was even impacted by people who weren't talking. I was impacted by just being on social media in August when everybody was doing back to school pictures and my subconscious was going did I fuck up? Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I feel like that scenario happens so often and I'm so glad you named that because I think so many women. I don't think it's logically happening. I don't think women are usually seeing things on social media and thinking I should have that. They're feeling it in their bodies, this pressure that I should be there. Why is it taking me so long? Why doesn't it look like this? Why doesn't it feel like what it looks like, but you don't know what it feels like to her? No, but I think that comparison is normal and natural and it's an animal instinct really, but being aware of it is so powerful because, again, it's you looking outside yourself for what you should be doing, not looking internally for what do I want and need and how do I build that?

Speaker 2:

even comparing to yourself, you know, I found myself comparing to my own childhood, you know of like. Well, this was the norm for me and so you know this is how my parents operated and this is how you know so it was. It was, it was very convoluted during that time and so I realized, when I was really exploring, like, what success looks like. I was like 70% of my list was while we were traveling. It was moments while we were out experiencing the world and being together. And you know, the day that my son picked up reading and I I felt this visceral, like I did that I just taught my kid how to read, like I could cry just thinking about it. You know, it felt so, like you know and this isn't judgment to anybody else but I realized how important it was for me to be a part of else.

Speaker 2:

But I realized how important it was for me to be a part of my children's education, how important it was for me to know that I have a hand in helping them become who they are, how important it was for me to not have peers raise my children, because that's what happens when you put your kids in school. And again, no negativity, no judgment. But I realized for me, like when I put my kids back in school in Texas that's where we ended up landing, by the way I couldn't figure out why I couldn't breathe. Every day, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. Walking in there, I couldn't breathe. In the middle of the day, when I thought about them, I couldn't function.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And not because they weren't safe, but because I. You know, what's so funny about all of this is that I carried this torch, for I am not a stay at home mom, I am not a homeschooling mom. I am like because I felt so uncomfortable and still very uncomfortable, trust me Like I still don't feel like I've nailed it, but like I am an achiever, I am successful, I, I I get things done, I create things, and I still have that. And so that's been an interesting thing to try and carry both, but I had neglected the calls of my heart that, oh no, there's something deeper here. You don't feel anywhere near sufficient in motherhood, but this is your calling, this is your space, this is where you belong.

Speaker 2:

And so, again, as I'm identifying these things, it was the moment that my son jumped off of a waterfall in Costa Rica after being afraid for two weeks. It was the moment that we celebrated my daughter's fourth birthday in New York City. And it was the moment that, you know, my husband and I had a moment in Paris. We were walking and it was fall and the leaves were falling and the Eiffel tower and the sun shining and the way it just looked. And I looked at him and I said this is everything I've ever dreamed of.

Speaker 2:

And I ended all of it. I came back to America and I stopped it all because I was having this internal battle of this is everything I've dreamed of, and but this is not what everybody else's lives look like. There's something I'm conflicted, I'm constricted in this. So as I, as I built this list, I was looking at it and I thought there is one very strong common denominator here, and it is that I want to be with my kids and I want to be involved with their education and I, I want to show them the world and and the.

Speaker 2:

You know, I didn't grow up traveling at all, like I never even gone anywhere. I don't even think I rode a plane until I was, like you know, older, and so it's very different. Like I had the same home, I had the same Christmas decorations, I had all the things. And even now I was telling my girlfriend the other day I said sometimes I I remember when I went to college, my parents moved and I didn't have a home to come home to, like everyone else did, like they'd moved to a different house, but it was. You know, I'm Colorado native. So they moved from Golden to Fort Collins. It was a big move, you know for me not to be able to come back to Golden for my you know time, home from college. And I just the other day was like am I doing my kids a disservice because they don't have a home? Our home changes every six to eight weeks, you know, it's just not the same. And it's just not the same, and it's it's just interesting.

Speaker 2:

That here's the thing. Here's what I had to do. I had to develop what I call my success criteria. Okay, so, from all this research, from all this uncovering and I come back to this, I would say, a minimum, every quarter I come back to what is my current success criteria and essentially what that means is it's the criteria with which I put anything and everything through the decisions I make, the struggles I deal with. If I have that moment of like oh, no, like, am I doing something wrong? Then I have to ask myself will me landing in a home in one significant place bring me more and I'm going to fill this in for you but of that thing, that is my success criteria.

Speaker 2:

So I determined, at least in this season, my success criteria is peace. That's it. It's peace and quality. Peace and quality. So I identified, I took those two words that felt so clear for me, and I defined them for myself, because what peace means for you could be very different than what peace means for me.

Speaker 2:

And now, when that came up, I asked myself would landing in one home that they could grow up in for the rest of their time?

Speaker 2:

Would that bring me more peace or would that take away my peace?

Speaker 2:

Would that bring me more quality or would it take away my quality?

Speaker 2:

And it can be big things like that, or it can be just launching this course right now bring me more peace or does it take away peace? Does it bring me more quality in my day-to-day life? Does it take away more quality? And so it's become sort of my North star of every decision that I make and also my grounder. You know my like.

Speaker 2:

In that moment where I subconsciously start to compare to everything around me, I come back to that question and go oh yeah, no, there's no peace for me in one destination for the rest of this time, at least not right now. And that can change. And that's been my biggest permission slip to myself, like I'm allowed to make mistakes, I'm allowed to ask questions, I'm allowed to change what success means for me, but what I'm not allowed to do is neglect the conversation and the intentionality around making sure I am aligned with where I am, that I am tuned in to what it is that I truly want, because there's no answer to any question, there's no decision that you can ever make, in my humble opinion, that you will feel 100% grounded in, and I think that the world tells us that we will. And so when we don't, we feel like there's something wrong with us. You won't. You just need to have the tools to tune into yourself and make sure it's a decision that you are making for you and not for anybody else.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, that's so powerful. I'm just going to sit in that for just a second. It brings up this whole dilemma that I think a lot of women come to, where they think they think balance or success or happiness or joy is on the other side of one right decision, or like 10 right decisions, and I mean really I want to name that as like that is the like, shaming, perfectionism of like there's one right way, but what it looks like to trust yourself is not. I always make the right decision. It's I like the reasons I made this decision at the time that I made it, and I give myself permission to change my mind. I give myself permission to get there and then say you know what? This wasn't it. I thought it was, and I'm not going to kick myself, I'm not going to beat myself up, but now I'm going to make a different decision.

Speaker 1:

There's so many. We want to know all of the perfect steps and I don't think that exists at at any level, at any area of our lives. There's no perfect, magical thing you can do or say or be that's going to shift you out of your human experience. Right, like you cannot outheal the reality of being human. And as much as I wish we could, because there are some of us who, like, if you could have by now, we would have for sure. Yeah, it is not for lack of trying hard, but I think women haven't ever learned to trust themselves in making decisions, both big and small. And what you just described is looking at what decisions are we making, whether we're making them consciously or unconsciously, because, let's be honest, there are so many decisions that you are making that you're not actively choosing. You are just like following this breadcrumb path that someone else laid out of you and I think this is why a lot of women find themselves out of integrity is they are parenting or showing up in their marriage or showing up in their business based off of that breadcrumb path, and there's something deep in their soul that says, like this isn't right, this isn't okay, because it's not of your own sovereignty or blueprint, whatever that looks like. It's a trauma response or it's culture, or it's this version of success that you didn't create.

Speaker 1:

So, really, taking the time, one of the things you said I always have this, one of the things I've always been good at is the questions, and that's a big part of me that I used to deny, especially because I was. I grew up in a culture where there was correct answers to questions, but there was also questions you didn't ask. But I, innately, am a questioner. I have all of these questions. I'm a gray area person. I see all of the different sides to things.

Speaker 1:

But I think women fear that part of them, that if I ask the question I have to know the answer and then I have to move on it. But what does it look like to slow down and to sit in the questions where there aren't easy answers, where there isn't necessarily a hell yes or a hell no? There's a. I know this is the right direction for now and I'm going to trust it and I'm going to start moving. Is there a feeling you get, or something you know when you're making that right decision Like, what does that look like for you? Because I think women think it's going to feel really good all the time, and for me that's not the case. So I'm curious what it looks like and feels like to you when you're pursuing something like peace, where it seems really good.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. I think for me it's adding the two very magical words to pretty much everything which is right now. It feels really good right now, this is the right decision for right now, and like that brings such a sense of calm to me because it's not, this is the right decision, this is the right choice. This is the right choice right now, in this moment, right now, and that's why I share the success criteria, because that has been my thing. Like that is how I determine will this thing bring me peace or will it not? Because I'm so clear on what peace looks like for me that I don't have to get lost in the sauce. I can be really right there and like you know, you know, like it won't or it will. But I caution around saying like, oh, I feel this way because any decision, any and every decision is so different, so different. You know, like I, I recently made a what I thought was a crazy investment.

Speaker 2:

It was like $700 for tutoring for my daughter who's really struggling with reading, and it felt like a big ticket thing to do. And I, even with this, it was like that's a lot of money. It was like six sessions. So it was like $700 for six sessions. Like is that I don't want to waste my money, I don't want to do all this and not get anywhere. What if she doesn't like it? You know all the things that come in. But I had to ask will putting my daughter Blakely into six sessions with a professional, like trained reading specialist, bring me more peace or will it take away my peace? Irregardless of the results, it was like peace because I know we're. We're taking a step, we're doing something, we're not just sitting idle in this thing. You know she's right on the cusp, but I don't know if anybody else has girls, but my boys in school very different experience.

Speaker 2:

My daughter. I'm like what does a D sound like? And she'll make a sound that's not a D. And I say that's not a D. And she's like yes, it is. So I'm like, okay, I don't know. So she's just very argumentative with her mama.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, oh, I need a break. We need to like have somebody else step in. But I had to like it brought me peace. My boys and I, twice a week, have 45 minutes just the three of us, which is a unique thing to have right now in this season. It brought me quality time with them, more quality time for her.

Speaker 2:

Those are my two predictors of success. So that's what it feels like and it's a right now thing. So let's say, when this ends, the end of next week, I can come back and I go okay, I made the right decision then, but I might not make that decision again and that's okay. Or maybe I know that it was great and we do it again. You know what I mean. I think that's why the success criteria is so invaluable, because it's like my, I think of it almost like I can come back and put my feet in these really comfy, molded to me slippers at any time. I feel really ungrounded and it magically like softens me. It reminds me who I am, it reminds me what I stand for, it reminds me that I'm okay, it shows me all the ways that I've used the success criteria to make powerful decisions and how it's always worked out, because the only predictor of whether or not I would enjoy it was me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, and it's so powerful how you just shared of it's not that you ever get, yeah, well, and it's so powerful how you just shared of it's not that you ever get off, but it's how do I get back to center? What does that look like and feel like and how do I bring myself back? Because I think so many women, when they're trying to create balance or success, which people use those words and I'm like well, what does that mean to you? Because balance from work life might look one way for you and it might look completely different to me. It's going to be woman to woman and bigger than that even. It's going to change season to season. I have met so many moms recently who they had successful careers and then became a mother, which is not my story, right, like I didn't have a career or a business or an entrepreneur spirit Before I became a mom. I kind of figured out motherhood and marriage and then I started a career in entrepreneurship.

Speaker 1:

But I've seen them all of a sudden go wait, I don't want the same things, I don't want it in the same way, I don't want it at the same pace. And there sometimes it's a capacity thing, and sometimes it's a capacity thing it's I want to but I can't. Like I want to but my body or my family's need for me doesn't allow for the level of speed. Like I want to go 90, but I can't anymore. I can go 90, but in this season it doesn't feel good. And so all of a sudden they have especially when their full, their full identities was set in, that it's this like very, it can be really identity shaking. So, coming back to this place of what does it look like and feel like for you in this season and allowing that to change I love that you said quarter to quarter because same, and every once in a while too, I'll have this quarter because same, and every once in a while too, I'll have this I'll have this feeling out of nowhere, random, and I'll be like, oh, something's off, something's not working for me, something's too fast or too slow or too much or too little, and I'll just slow down to check into how are things feeling? Where am I feeling like I can't breathe, where am I feeling like it's going too fast, too much and it's just this recalibration of you.

Speaker 1:

Know, I thought it was going to look this way. I had this beautiful strategy and this plan for how it was going to go and how, how it was going to look. And then, when it doesn't look that way, how do I shift that while still staying? I think a lot of people throw the baby out with the bathwater, and that's right. They're like if it doesn't look the same way, I can't have it. They're terrified if they slow down, that they have to like, not be ambitious anymore. I think I'm wondering if you can speak to that, because I see a lot of ambitious women terrified to tell themselves the truth because again, they're trying to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think I said this too on a different time, but it's been interesting for me to witness how age has really changed my experience of success and what I want, what I used to want. So you speak to children, yes, and I'm kind of out of that. Like I haven't had. I've had kids for 10 years now, so you know, we've been in it for a while, but in here, yeah, yeah, and and age has been a really interesting thing for me, where and I'm in my late thirties and where it was like huh, like how I even experienced success looks different and what I want and I did.

Speaker 2:

I did have an identity crisis with like, have I lost my drive? Have I lost my ambition? You know, I used to be just so this and so that and do that and do this, you know, and and it made me like I went into, I got significant. Actually, I went to a, I did a ketamine intensive Actually, I have another one this weekend, so we'll add that on there but I did a ketamine intensive because I was like, I feel like I've lost a part of myself and I don't know where she went, and it was. I had to have this massive revelation that I didn't lose a part of myself. I evolved into a new person. And that old person, that other person who could wake up every day with 10 new business ideas and be ready to to fucking make them happen at all costs, you know, even with kids like that was still my, my thing Just, it wasn't that she left, it's that she evolved into this person. That's like, yeah, I like to create one thing at a time and I like to take the time to create something because it feels good and cozy and nourishing.

Speaker 2:

And I, you know, I I like I did so many groups and masterminds and all these things which I love for a season and I had this like, oh, I just really want intimacy right now, like I really just love one-to-one and the whole world says, well, you can't scale one-to-one, you know. And my body says I don't give a shit. Like, I want intimacy, I want to be in it with somebody to the end. You know, and I actually just recently offered therapeutic coaching again for the first time in years it's always been business and within seconds I have a wait list. I filled all three spots because people are like, we've been waiting for this, you know, and you have that like oh, I have just been waiting for myself to say yes to it for a good seven months because it's been in my core and I've been afraid of it because it didn't match this other ideology that I had of myself.

Speaker 2:

So, as we define and redefine success, it's also important for us to define and redefine our own identity and be really clear with that, because if we carry it's kind of like having a locket with a picture of yourself and being like I'm only good if I continue to look, act, feel, do everything like this person. But, as you say, right, feel, do everything like this person. But as you say, right, like that's not the human experience, right, like Lord knows, I don't look the same that I did at 27. I don't look the same that.

Speaker 1:

I did at 17.

Speaker 2:

Like, things are different and I've had to evolve and allow for the evolution and allow for me to have that sort of face-to-face who am I now, and am I allowing for that to be okay? Like am I creating acceptance around this new version of myself and I think that's even you know, with new babies coming to the mix like I think that's a really important conversation. It's not just like who am I, it's like who am I in this circumstance, in this environment? Like what do I desire that to look like? If I were to and you know me, I've done this for years and years and years.

Speaker 2:

So, even when we work together, have you scripted, have you taken a moment to paint that picture of, like, the ideal day, the ideal week in my life? What would that really look like for me to feel those success criteria that you identified, to feel that way? Let me, let me paint that picture and allow yourself to write as though it's already happened, an entire week, a dreamy, dreamy week, and write, and write as much as possible. So you're tapping into that subconscious side and I promise you that when you read it you're going to go oh, I didn't even know. You know, and more often than not, when I work with my clients, they're like I'm already living 80% of this. I'm just not allowing it to be enough, like I'm just shooting it down, you know, like all these things, like when I look at my ideal day, like I'm in it but I'm thinking there must be something wrong with it and so I'm not really experiencing it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, oh, that's so powerful. And I had this curiosity of what you're expressing because I've worked with a lot of women recently whose parents are still stuck where they were 10, 20 years ago and one of the greatest gifts I've had in my life is that I have parents who are they're completely different people than they were 10 years ago, like they're completely different parents I had when I was a teenager, right, but a lot of women. They never saw their parents grow up, they saw them stop, essentially like they kept aging, but when it comes to maturity and mentality and desire and what they do and how they relate to people, it got stuck, like it never kept growing, it never kept changing. And I really do wonder if that's part of what's going on with women. Is that like they haven't seen women go through the different archetypes of oh my gosh, I hope I'm different in five years from now. I hope I'm different in 10 years from now, and who knows what that's going to be? Because I'll be a completely different person, I'll be in a different season, I'll be in different stages, I'll have different time and energy and my roles and relationships are going to shift too, and that's a good thing, but also that comes with a consistent being willing to let go of this different version of success, this different aspect of what I expect from myself and who I am and how I show up, and I really do think that's a big thing that keeps women stuck and I'm thinking back, it's making me so happy.

Speaker 1:

I will never forget in our coaching when you sent me the burning the boats and I had this moment of real and I go back to that video often of I've had so many seasons where there's been this slow, steady growth underneath, but it hasn't taken root out in what I'm doing yet because I'm holding so tightly onto things just out of habit, like, just out of like, oh, that's what I've always done. And now I've started to notice, oh, growth, growth happens slowly and small, but then healing also comes in this integration, in this, like the outside matching the inside, and it's like, okay, okay, sometimes that's the uncomfortable stuck work, that that we have to lean into. But yeah, I just wanted to share that piece about parents because I'm seeing that theme a lot recently with clients and it's just like oh, wait, this is okay. It's okay that you haven't seen this before yeah, no, I think that's so good.

Speaker 2:

I mean full transparency. Like, as you're saying that I'm like, no, my parents are the same. Who haven't seen this before? Yeah, no, I think that's so good. I mean full transparency, like, as you're saying, that I'm like, no, my parents are the same. Like they have the same habits every day. Like I know exactly, I can look at the clock until exactly what my mother's doing and has been doing for the past 30 years. I get this, you know, I can picture it right now. And the way the foods that they eat, the movement that they do or don't do, the way that they operate their life, the beliefs that they carry, like it's all pretty standardized.

Speaker 2:

From what I experienced growing up and I think you're right Like there is when you haven't witnessed it. You know, I know, for me, I've been really lucky to work with a few clients who were, you know, 10, 15, even 20 years older than me, which was such a freaking gift, oh my gosh. And I worked particularly with this one lady. You know, you just meet someone and you're like I want to be you when I grow up. Like you know, even to this day, like, not that I'm condoning this, but, like in her 60s, she has divorced her husband, she has moved states, she is living beachside by herself. Like living her, like she just didn't settle, you know, I guess is the biggest thing to say. But when we started working together, like six or seven years ago, she was like exploring her identity and what she wanted with her career and if she wanted to expand it. And I just remember thinking like, oh my gosh, this is the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 2:

Like there is this societal almost like eh, life's over, You're in your late thirties, you're in your early forties, you're in your late forties. Whoever you know, whatever that happens for people, Well, it's over. So now you are who you are and this is what it is. And I don't think I think I was born in a. I just have been a unique person from birth. You know, in the sense that I I don't necessarily fit in with my family. I love my family, but I've always kind of been the odd duck and just how I approach life and I think I've always been like there, I, if I, if I stopped growing, I must be dead. Like that must be the storyline, Like there's no way. But I can see how it has likely challenged a lot of my narratives in this season where I am in that traditional like this is when you just stop. This is when you have to accept the cards you've been given.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's this, it's this what really is success and security, and has it caught up? Have you caught up to it? Or has it caught up to you, like, can you really feel that in your body, in your being, because there's so many people who get there and they become complacent or they never get to really enjoy it or feel it or celebrate it.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, yeah, it's so true. I love that you brought that up. I really haven't considered. I haven't considered that or, like, looked at that. Now I'm witnessing my parents like it is. It's sad too, it's like, and I have felt that for a long time of just I really wish that you would be open to possibility and to you know anything from you know investing, because they're you know, I'm sure they're going to lose all their investments, because that's what happened when they were in their thirties people invested and lost everything, and so they're just like tunnel vision won't do it, you know. So I think there's a there's a sadness to that, you know, and and I think it does massively impact, you know, if you haven't witnessed it, I mean just like me, like I don't have a lot of examples. I found a great community recently, but but before then I genuinely I was like I'm the only one right, like this is lonely and then you have so lonely, it feels so lonely, and have shame.

Speaker 2:

I yes, it makes you. I asked myself. I can't tell you how many times I asked myself why can't I just be happy with just what everybody else seems happy with? Like what is wrong with me that I have to overcomplicate the situation? I can't just buy a house and like that house and stay in that house. And just get a car and like that car and stay in that car and like, create it.

Speaker 2:

I've had at least 17 pivots in my career, you know, since I graduated college, like I everything I do, from the clothes that and I'm, I'm a mani gen if you're familiar with human design. So it's very speaks true to who I am now that I know that. But like from the style of clothes that I wear. I mean, I look at pictures. When I was in my teens and twenties I had a new hair color like every year. I was like I've just never been just like, yeah, basic, I'm gonna just go with it.

Speaker 2:

And the biggest thing that I carried was like I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. Like why can't good enough be good enough? Like what is the matter with me? And that was my greatest demise for you know, a long time I mean, I had to completely retract from my life because I was so misaligned. This queen of alignment was so misaligned because I wasn't willing to look myself in the face and go. You're not like anybody else. You're never meant to be like anybody else, nor is anybody else Like. That's the thing.

Speaker 2:

Like, even if your story is, I got this house and I love it, I want to be here forever. That's the most unique story for you. That's your beautiful, unique story. Like, have you owned that? You know, just because mine's a little extra, it doesn't mean anything. But like, this right now is our unique story and it's something I've had to be. I've had to find a lot of love for it. I've had to, you know, embrace it in a very unique way, in every part of how I do everything. And I think that this is true of all women. I think that we and we have a shell of who we think the world wants us to be and the way that the world wants us to create and to achieve and to love and to show up. And we have that idea and parts of us punch out of that shell every once in a while and we get to decide are we going to let that be okay, are we going to get uncomfortable and shrivel back in?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because it feels safer here. Yeah, and I think this year for me and this makes me really emotional, even just thinking about it like this year, at 37 years old, with three children and a pretty decent life behind me so far, I just finally stepped completely out of the shell and I loved it and I hugged it and I kissed it, but I said no more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like now I'm me and it's enough. It's more than enough.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right now.

Speaker 1:

I love that so much. It's making me think of I did. I did a reel yesterday that I thought was really hilarious because I was like I really thought that healing would mean I would become this like villain era baddie who was just like so different and wearing leather and like, as it turns out, like from the outside looking in, I don't know how different I look or how perceived, but like everything feels so differently. Because, at least for me, a lot of the shifts have been small, they've been subtle, it hasn't been selling everything and you know, eventually obviously you know this that Jay's just like, when are we going to move to the middle of Alaska? And I'm like, as soon as you get me a community of like five to six other families who we can homestead with, that is the goal, that is the ideal I'm in if we have a community there.

Speaker 1:

No, but for me that alignment has come from small, subtle shifts and from choosing and from defining my own success. Not that it looks drastically different, but it feels completely different and the energy behind it and I think of the potential behind it of one day it might be that giant, pivotal oh my gosh, who's Becca now? But like it hasn't been that for me and I just want to share that because I think a lot of women there's going to be a lot of women who identify with, like they want to change everything, they want to completely restructure, they want to completely rebuild. But I just want to name that, like for some women it's going to be these subtle shifts. It's going to be decisions like where their kids go to school or where their kids don't go to school, or how your family eats, or how you show up and define a good marriage, like what does that mean? Or maybe your business pivots a different direction or pace, or those things matter just as much when it comes to success.

Speaker 1:

And I just wanted to name that because, like I see you and I'm like you are so badass and that's so fun, and also remind myself like I don't want that, like I actually I don't want to do that right now, like maybe someday, but like that's not what I want and that's what's beautiful and creating within women where we celebrate what each other wants, without that comparison. Because that comparison I think it's so powerful to talk about, because it's very easy for women to see that girl and think, oh, I want that and she has that and I don't have it. That doesn't just create loneliness for you, it creates loneliness for her because now you can't celebrate her chasing her greatest life. You're making it seem like she has something you don't and that feels very lonely on the other side of that.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think it's important to note too that you know, I and I have mentioned I have sat here comparing myself in a in a not so healthy way to women who can just be so happy and content and, like you know, cause that's the thing, we're all doing it just in different directions. You know what I mean and it's so funny because I think it is really easy for people to go like, oh my gosh, this big. I mean, yeah, selling all your stuff, traveling full time. It is a big deal. But we land in places for six to eight weeks and my daily routines look the same as everybody else's. We come in and I decorate the house for my family, so it feels like ours. We sit around a table and homeschool every day.

Speaker 2:

I go grocery shopping every week, like the difference is that I need my environment to change somewhat frequently. That's what feels like peace to me. That's it. It's like it's not this crazy. It's really easy to just put it on this pedestal. I just recognize that like I get really unhappy in, like this is, this is the place and it's forever. I want to. I want to go to new grocery stores every eight weeks. I know that sounds crazy, but like, this is the place and it's forever. I want to go to new grocery stores every eight weeks. I know that sounds crazy, but like I want to have to, like, figure out a new rhythm and a new place, and I love that. I get high on like, oh my gosh, we just landed here and we have to figure everything out.

Speaker 1:

I feel like my daughter's that way. I'm laughing so hard because she will reorganize and rearrange her room every week and as we started looking for houses, she is just obsessed with the idea of moving. And I'm over here like, wait, but we're cozy and I know, I know, and all of the work is done and there's nothing to do here but I, but we need room for all those different, those different personality type.

Speaker 2:

That was me growing up. I wanted to change my room all the time, I wanted to change my clothes all the time and I was constantly you know not necessarily outwardly judged, but it was like Ash, can't you just settle? Can it just be enough, can't you know? And so I've.

Speaker 2:

I've lived so long feeling like there's something wrong with me rather than embracing it, and I think that's what I want to share the most is it's not that this way is the right way, it's that my way is the right way for me. And I've lived my life comparing to. You know all my girlfriends who bought a house a few years after college and they still live in it and they, they basically almost own it, which is so great for them and it's so cozy, and then they renovate this thing and then they traveled. I mean I think it's great, you know, and I've been like I think I should want that. I don't like you know, and nobody should want what I want unless it's for them either. You know, and I think that's what and I love that you said it doesn't just make you lonely, it makes everybody else lonely as well.

Speaker 1:

Because and I've worked with a lot of women who are they seem like they're at the top, and I've worked with a lot of women who seem like they're at the top.

Speaker 1:

They're the women who other people have pedestalized and it's been a gift for me, especially the women who came in, who I would have if I would have seen them on social media.

Speaker 1:

I would pedestalize their business, I would pedestalize their quote, unquote following and I'm not even really that attached to social media you know this about me, but I would have had stars in my eyes. And then I get to coach them as a human being and it's just like, oh, I think really the key here that I'm hearing and feeling in me is this permission, this permission for you and this permission for other people, where we get to experience the full humanity of ourselves and others and not pedicize ourselves or others. But just come back to this place of permission of what does success look like, feel like for me right now? I love that right now piece because, especially in motherhood, seasons change and sometimes they're really drastic and sometimes they're subtle, but when you don't fear that and you can learn to flow and have you know there's still structure, there's still expectations, but permission to shift and pivot is just so powerful.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and right now can be applied to so much too. I think it's important to know, you know, like, what does my body need for fuel right now? What kind of movement is going to feel good right now? I think we get so caught in the shoulds I mean we all do, we all should on ourself all day, like I should eat this way, I should move this way. I should, you know, feel this way in my marriage. I should experience motherhood in this way. Right, I should enjoy every second of my time with my kids and I, I remember years ago I mean I think I really set myself free quite a while ago with that but like, recognizing that, like, honestly, I, I like maybe like 50% of motherhood there's a good 50% that I'm not a fucking fan of. Like I do not enjoy this, you know. And now I've got a 10 year old who is going through puberty, because I went through puberty at nine. So my 10 year old is following suit. He is, you know, going through a lot of changes right now and I am not a fan of this experience.

Speaker 2:

Like it's just like a walking talking time bomb. You know where you're. Just like, oh, I don't look good. I hate these pants. I can't believe that. I'm like and you're just like. Oh God, why did I say words? Why did words leave my mouth Like I just it's hard, and I think if we walk around believing that we need to be you know anything or anyone at any time, it's always going to end up putting us in the wrong place, and so even in that, I have to ask myself okay, what do I need right now to get through this mood swing situation?

Speaker 1:

Well, it's crazy, because if you're thinking this should be fun, but like that's not fun, and as soon as you remove that part and you give yourself permission, like this isn't fun, and how do I show up, you've got it. You're going to be fine, especially with parenting teenagers. Oh dear Lord.

Speaker 2:

I'm so unprepared. I'm like reading all the books now because it's just, it's happening sooner than I thought, you know like I'm getting a little whiplashed which I'm again, because I did that and nobody held space for my maturity and puberty Nobody, I mean. I remember I got my period at a Christmas party and my mom went out and screamed at the top of her lungs that I got my period and I wanted to die a thousand deaths. And so I remember that I was nine, nine years old when all that happened, fourth grade. I've got a boy who's very different for boys, but fully hairy armpits and all the things are happening and you can just tell because everything is very much the end of the world. But I wonder what success looks like in this motherhood season of teenager.

Speaker 1:

You can just tell because everything is very much the end of the world, yeah. But I wonder what success looks like in this motherhood season of teenager, because it's going to look different. It's going to look different than it did when he before puberty happened. I really had, I really had to feel out okay, I have to change my metric of success because if I keep it how it was last season, I'm going to think I'm a failure constantly and I'm going to think, because she certainly thinks I'm doing a terrible job half the time. So I had to like renegotiate what that success looked like and felt like I just we could talk forever and I'm having the hardest time cutting because we just keep going and I'm like, oh, it's so good, I know it is. I have loved this conversation so so much. I'm curious what's like? What's something that's just like lighting you up in life right now, like so it could be small or big.

Speaker 2:

You know, I last year I mentioned I shut down my business in January and I did the whole like I'm going to just completely transform myself. And I found Fit With Coco. You've never heard of her. She does these workouts and I have been doing them consistently six days a week since January of this year.

Speaker 2:

And I lost 50 pounds and I am. The biggest thing, though, is like my strength. I did a workout with a girlfriend the other day. We actually anybody else Gilmore Girl fans. I'm a huge Gilmore Girl fan, so my friend flew out so we can go to Warner Brothers and tour, but we did a workout together, and there are some parts of these workouts that I used to just I'm just flopping on the ground. You know like what I? How is she doing this? Because it's like Pilates and strength and it's intense stuff, and my girlfriend was like oh my God, look at your body, look at how you're like doing these things, and it's just more of the strength of like I can hold a plank for like four minutes and they can't push me over. Like you got just from like micro commitment, 30 minutes a day, micro commitment.

Speaker 2:

And, as I'm doing all the end of year reflecting, I'm just really fucking proud of myself for being consistent, and not in everything, not in every area. This has been like that anchor, you know. It's been like well, everything else is ebbed and flowed meditation, journaling, the food that I eat, you know, like all that's kind of had seasons. I have consistently, no matter where I am, no matter what I do, gotten up and done this 30 to 40 minute workout every day since January and I am a completely different person right now.

Speaker 2:

In my strength you know, yes, and how I appear and how I look although you know it is you do get to that like huh. So the excess skin and stretch marks are just here to stay. It's just a real thing. But the strength I mean I can do things I never could. I mean literally. If I wish, I took videos at the beginning cause I was just flopping around. It was so hard and I'm just really proud. I'm very proud of myself and I'm proud of my kids seeing it every single day and being a part of it with me. That's cool and I think if that version of me could see me now, she'd be like you fucking did it.

Speaker 1:

I love that so much. Thank you so much for doing this podcast with me. It was so much freaking fun.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it was so good. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1:

Yes, Thanks for joining me on today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. Make sure you have subscribed below so that you see all of the upcoming podcasts that are coming soon. I hope you take today's episode and you take one aha moment, one small, tangible piece of work that you can bring into your life, to get your hands a little dirty, to get your skin in the game. Don't forget to take up audacious space in your life. If this podcast moved you, if it inspired you, if it encouraged you, please do me a favor and leave a review, send an episode to a friend. This helps the show gain more traction. It helps us to support more moms, more women, and that's what we're doing here. So I hope you have an awesome day, take really good care of yourself and I'll see you next time.

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Ash McDonald

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