From Overhaul To Integrity: A Gentle Steady New Year

Forget the sprint. We’re starting the year steady, grounded, and honest about capacity. Instead of chasing a dazzling future self, we look at what’s here now- what worked, what didn’t, and how to build change that outlasts a January dopamine hit. In this episode I share why integrity beats motivation, how to regulate your nervous system in real life, and what it means to show up in the messy middle with devotion and mercy rather than perfection.

This is also your invitation to join Steady January, halfway through the month- a free broadcast channel with short love notes, somatic practices, and thoughtful prompts designed to fit into the margins of motherhood and work. No feed to keep up with, no pressure to share- just simple guidance that respects your time and energy. If you’re tired of quick fixes, you’ll hear how tiny, consistent micro-shifts compound into durable habits and a calmer baseline you can actually feel.

I'm also opening the doors to deeper support: one-on-one coaching for women who want a focused, fit-first space to metabolize stress, set aligned goals, and expand capacity without the urgency spiral. Then we dive into our spring retreat-why co-regulation is a force multiplier for healing, how workshops translate into daily life, and the joy of being well-fed, well-rested, and well-held in a room where growth is contagious. You’ll leave with tools you can use at home and a felt sense of ease that doesn’t evaporate on the tarmac.

If this resonates, join Steady January, explore coaching, or apply for the retreat while early-bird spots last. And if the podcast supports you, follow and leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify—it helps more women find a steadier way forward.

Join Steady January Here: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/steadyjanuary

Want to sneak peak the Spring Retreat: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/steadyretreat

Book an interest call here: https://calendly.com/themotherhoodmentor/exploration-call

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops. 

🎧  Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email. 

Transcript

Testing Video And Setting The Tone

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. Today is also a video podcast. What? We're trying out video. We're seeing how it goes. I have not done video until now because then I have to be aware of like what my face is doing. And as it turns out, like my face does a lot. My face moves a lot. And I tend to look away from camera. I tend to be taking notes, especially when I have an interview. I tend to like be taking notes so that I can like remember something they said or come back to something without interrupting them the moment. So, anyways, we're gonna try out this video podcasting thing. Do people watch video podcasts on YouTube? That's just not a thing that I've ever done. So let me know if you like having the videos. Today I'm popping on really quick, just a short and sweet podcast to invite you to steady January. Steady January is basically, and here's the thing: one, it is January 7th. And the reason that is perfect for this is that I think so many people jump into the new year with intensity and speed, and they're like, I'm gonna overhaul everything. And it's like, I don't have capacity for a full life overhaul, nor does my life need one. Like honestly, my life just needs a little bit of tweaking, a little bit here or there. And for the last few years, especially, I came into the new year slowly. I came in reflecting on what worked and what didn't work in the year before. I came in slowed down, regulated, and very present to right where I am. What season I'm in, how it feels. Last January, I remember I went to an event in January and everyone was like, What are your goals for the new year? What's your word? What's your vision? And I was like, honestly, like, I don't feel any new year energy. Last year, when I was coming into January, I was like crawling into the new year. I was doing some deep inner healing work and I was exhausted. I was having to feel things that weren't, there was no fixing needed. And that is my least favorite kind of feeling, where there's nothing to fix, there's nothing to do, there's no problem to solve, there's no behavior to change. There was just things that needed to be felt and metabolized and moved through me. And it was a powerful, healthy healing season. And yet, that new year last year, it looked and felt so different for me. And yet, when I look back at this last year, I was like, that was the most powerful entrance to the year that I could have ever had because it was steady and sturdy and it wasn't built on motivation. It was built on integrity. It was built on a relationship to where I was and who I was and who I was becoming. It was not this like cheating on my current self with a future version of me. It was like being with who I really was and like honestly paying attention to what mattered. And like I said, what was working and what wasn't working. And I've really been craving a way to connect more personally and intentionally with people in a way that like didn't require a lot from you. I think there's a lot of women who are overwhelmed and you're holding it well. You're holding a lot and you're holding it well. But like the reality is that like it's still a lot. And I just thought, like, what is a beautiful way that I could serve and support people in January that helps them move that needle, that helps them start out the year with intention and purpose and presence without needing it to be like a 75 heart. You know what I mean? Like, how can we bring some nervous system regulation, little no, little love notes every day from me? Not every day though. Here's the thing. I even said that on like the free, it's a it's a free thing, but on the checkout page where you're signing up, I even said, like, hey, I'm gonna be there most days of the week-ish, because this is something that I want to be consistent with and intentional with. And I'm not going to expect perfectionism from myself, and I'm not going to expect it from you. And I think a lot of women out there who are like me, we struggle not with the all or nothing. We struggle with that in-between space where we are dedicated and devoted to show up, but we count ourselves out when we have to do it half-assed, when we have to do it in the margins. I am someone who wants to put my whole ass in something. There is not a bone in my body that is chalant. I am, I am not nonchalant. I am, I care deeply. I care way too much about everything about my health and my healing and who I am and who I'm becoming and my motherhood and my marriage and my business. Gosh, I care so much. And it has been revolutionary for me, especially the last few years of my life, to learn how to live in that messy in-between, where I am devoted and I am showing up, but I pay attention to my capacity, not just consistency and the way that I feel like our current modern society sells us. Like I feel like we have been sold this all-in mentality where it's like you have to be obsessed. And it's like, well, first of all, I am, but but what about the tension of wanting and holding and creating and leading in so many different areas? What about the reality that like there are different needs and expectations and desires, not just within myself, but in the world around me? There are things and people who need me, and that is not a burden, but it is a shit, but it is a shit lot to carry. That didn't make any sense, but I think you know what I mean. So Steady January is a broadcast boxer channel. And what that means is that there is no expectation for you to share or to listen to other people. And I did that intentionally for January because I want this to be where you just can come in and get some little love notes, like a little motivation for the day, a little somatic exercise, a meditation, a moment of just something for you to ponder to think about, because sometimes those small little implementations, those small little shifts we make, they end up making massive change in our lives. I know they have for me. And honestly, usually those things are much more sustainable long term. And that's when you're actually going to get results that are more that are like deeper than this, deeper than the surface. And I think if you're attracted to this podcast, if you love this podcast, you aren't looking for quick fixes. You are done looking for these easy blueprint. Here's the pill, here's the magic fix. And it's just like you want to do the deep work so that you don't have to keep doing it over and over and over again. You can like actually get to the root of the thing and shift your posture and the way that you move through the world, not just change the surface level. Because I think a lot of times our approach is to try to get things fast. We want things so fast, and I don't even think we recognize how unnatural and how much that costs us, our nervous systems, our bodies, our sense of relationship to ourselves, to the rhythm of things. And so we often just play whack-a-mole with symptoms in our lives, with one area or another, we're just playing with these symptoms instead of slowing down and figure out what is it that's actually going on. And so that is my hope and my purpose for Steady January, is just for you to have this easy space to jump into low effort, low commitment, but still a place where like I really get a jump in and give you a little bit of love, a place where you can just get help and support where there's nothing expected from you. There's literally nothing expected from you. So, anyways, if that sounds like something you would love to do, I will have the link below in the podcast notes. And I also wanted to share something I'm really excited about this year. One, I'm going to be more intentional about creating solo episodes, especially teaching and guiding on somatic work. This is this is what I love. It's what I do. And also, I want to invite you, if you love this podcast, if you love the content, if you love the way that it makes you feel, I am so excited that I have some open spaces for one-on-one coaching, which is where you get your skin in the game. And one of the one of the coolest things is opening up your calendar and having an hour or two hours or three hours every month that is just devoted to you, to your healing, to your growth. And some clients come in and they have these big goals or they have these struggles, these specific things that they're working on. And some women are just like, I need a space that's just for me. I need a space where I am intentionally slowing down to think about how my life feels, what's working, what's not working, and then slowly implementing change and like actually making a difference in my life, actually feeling better in my body, actually having a nervous system that feels more regulated, that feels more dynamically alive, that has more capacity for the chaos of motherhood. That is my hope. It's what I love doing. It's and yeah, if you love this podcast, I would invite you to reach out. This the first step for working with me is filling out a form. And from there, we can do a free call or we can jump on Voxer and kind of voice message back and forth. It's really important to me that women who come to work with me that I'm the right fit for what your goals are, for what you're wanting, for what you're needing. There are some times where therapy might be a better fit, and I'll tell you that, and then we'll get you referred to someone, hopefully, if I have someone in network that I can kind of refer you to. But my goal is to get you the support that you need and deserve to live a life that you love living in. And that's in like the high moments, the low moments, the all the crazy in-between. So I have one-on-one coaching. I also have the spring retreat, which is open for registration. Spring, these weekend healing retreats, when I tell you they are everything. It is, it is a girls' weekend away because I truly believe that healing is not just the hard work. It's not just the heavy stuff. It's not just like those big emotional releases. We focus on healing somatic workshops. So, like, we're going to talk about topics. We're going to bring in real tools that you practice and implement that you bring home with you. I know growing up, I used to go on like women's retreats or youth camps and stuff like that. And you would have this big mountain moment. You would have this big release, or you'd have this big aha, or like, you know, when you want go on vacation, I remember my first vacation as a mom. My daughter was a toddler. I'm trying to think of how old she was. I remember being like so relaxed. We like we were at an all-inclusive. And so it's like, I came home and I was like so relaxed. The second the plane hit the ground, the second we picked up our kid. And you guys, we came home from we came home from this vacation to my daughter having the stomach flu. So she's just throwing up. It was like literally like picking them up, picking her up from grandma's. She was, she was throwing up. And literally, it felt like all of the rest and relaxation and energy that I had built up over that weekend just gone. Just gone. Like it didn't last in my body. And my goal and my intention always with the work that I do is that it doesn't just stay at the retreat. It goes home with you. It changes the way that you show up in your marriage or your motherhood or your business or the way that you are healing and showing up for your own body, your own self, your own identity, your personality. So these retreats, yes, we do healing work, we do healing workshop. The community and the connection is literally life-giving. You get to feel what it actually feels like. I'm having a hard time like staying focused because I'm so I get so excited when I talk about retreats. But like, do you have any idea how good it feels to like walk out in the morning and just like women loving on each other is just one of the most life-giving things ever? Just like the way women hype each other up and love each other. And I think healing and isolation never works because our nervous systems are interconnected. We need co-regulation. It is one of the fastest and best and most long-lasting ways to heal, to grow, to expand. If you want to change anything, get yourself in a room where that change is happening and it immediately pulls you into it in a way that you just cannot do alone. So not only is it that experience, but it's also really freaking fun. Like the conversations over coffee, about everything and nothing, lighthearted, deep topics, like businesses born, marriages revolutionized. There was almost always a conversation about Enigram. There's almost always, somehow, weirdly enough, a conversation about pelvic floor because it's a group of moms, right? And also every night and every day, we do something that is grounding and restorative for our bodies, like for our physical bodies. We have family-style meals where you're eating these nourishing farm-to-table foods. And here's the thing: I am big on feeding women. I am big on women being well fed with delicious food that's also so good for our bodies. So, like women who have dietary or like needs, I want your body to feel good. I want you to feel good for this weekend. And so all of the food is like so yummy and nourishing, and there's an abundance of it. And some of it's really fun, and most of it's just really nourishing. And the Denver retreat is fun. We do like a dinner night out where the girls get to get all dressed up. We get to go do a girls' night. We'll probably do a little adventure. And most nights after dinner, it's no longer time for hard work. It's no longer time for healing. It's no longer time for deep conversations. It is time to laugh. It is time to play games. When I tell you, it is so fun to just laugh and be silly and play. And we usually put on like a good millennial remix playlist and just listen to tunes and have so much fun. These weekends are so restorative. This last fall one, I added an extra day because I just felt like we needed that extra time. We just needed to be able to like really sink in and like really just be there. And so this next spring retreat, it is Thursday through Monday. And it's gonna be so glorious. So there are limited spaces for that. And before you register, you do need to do an interest call with me. It's so important that I'm cultivating the culture and the context and making sure that like this is a good fit for you. And to build a room of women who feel like they are peers, who feel like you're not coming into a room where you have to hold everyone else. You just get to be held and be yourself, where each woman is so showing up to her own life leadership where we can come together and love on each other and share and connect and communicate, but not have to do some of the kind of unhealthy stuff that can happen in a lot of women's groups. And I'm very intentional about that when I'm creating, especially like our weekend retreat, and we'll have some group calls. When you're coming to the retreat, if you're a new person to my world, you also are doing coaching calls. And that again is because the purpose of this retreat is not to just have a weekend away. That is the purpose and also a weekend away that is charging your battery so that when you get home, you have the tools to integrate and to let everything that you just had happen metabolize. Because I've watched women have these big aha moments, these big knowings, these big healing moments. But the reality is when you go home from that retreat, your husband's not different, your work life's not different, your kids aren't different. You're going back to the same triggers, you're going back to the same relationship to your mother-in-law. You're going back to the same relationship to your family, to religion, to what whatever it was you were struggling with when you left, you're gonna go back to the same environment. And it's so deeply important to me that when you go back, you have the support to figure out that new thing back in an environment that hasn't changed yet. That's going back upstream. Like when you're when you're up at way at the healing retreat, it's like there's this energy and this movement that kind of holds you and carries you, which is so necessary and needed. And also when you get home, you're going upstream again. And so you often need that energy and that support to be able to actually make those shifts, both within yourself and within your life. So I didn't plan to go on such a long explanation of retreats, but I just retreats are just one of the best things. It is one of my favorite things every year. Um and I know like the women who have come, they have loved it. Most of my retreats have sold out to the women from past retreats. So the the nice thing about this Denver, this spring retreat is that there's some more beds. And also, you guys, this house has enough private rooms that like most women will be in private rooms. And the women who aren't, the ones that are like the group room, they're it's so cute. You're in your own bed, by the way. First of all, you have your own bed, but it's like sleepover vibes. So especially if you're an extrovert and you want like the sleepover vibes, like you want to stay up late and talk and like gab and laugh a little bit later, you can totally go. Also, by the way, I will say sometimes the group rooms, all of the moms are in agreement of like, if you want to stay up late, be upstairs. Down here, it's a sleep cave. Like, we're putting on the sound machine, we're not talking, we're all going to sleep. Because is there anything that is more of a blessing to a group of moms than sleeping alone? No toddler to wake you up, no baby, no one needs you at retreats. No one needs you. All your meals are planned, your day is planned. There's like, I I bake in, bake in, that sounded so like I don't know, but I like it. I bake in so much time and space for you to just be to just relax and talk, be by yourself, to journal, to have a long. Time or to connect with someone one-on-one or to go for a walk or to just rest or play or paint or do whatever it is that you want to do, read, like nap. Like at fall retreat, we all like a lot of us just took like a really long nap in the afternoon, and it was so glorious. And then as we were all waking up, we were having coffee and we put out the snacks. You guys, the snacks, my mom makes this fabulous charcuterie board, like the biggest, most luxurious charcuterie board you ever had. And it's just like, can I have this every day for my life? Like charcuterie, and then two hours later, it's this like big delicious lunch that's like not too heavy. But, anyways, I think through every detail of these retreats. I whenever I get into like the details of planning it, I feel like Oprah, you know, when she would do her like favorite things episodes, that's how I feel when I plan the retreats. Is like, how good can I make this for the women coming? It is, they are just the best weekends. So if that sounds like something you want and need in your life, definitely reach out. I have continued the early bird pricing through January. So you have a few weeks, but don't wait too long because the pricing will go up come February. And there's only a limited amount of spots. So those are kind of all of my January updates. There's so much more. And thank you for being here. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I hope I hope it gives you what you need. I don't know what it is you come here for the podcast for, whether it's new information or learning or connection or language for what you're walking through. But I'm glad you're here. I'm thankful for you being here. I love, I love having the podcast. I love it so much. And if you love it too, it would mean so much to me. One, if you follow along, but two, if you take a moment and leave a review. Whether you're listening on Spotify or Apple, just take a moment and leave a little review of what you like about the podcast, what you've loved about it, maybe how it's different than other podcasts, maybe your favorite episode. That really helps the podcast reach new people. And I hope you have a great January. I don't know how 2025 was you. 2025 was for you. I know for me, it held a lot of blessings. It was really beautiful. There were moments that were really brutal. I had to learn how to hold and feel a lot of disappointment, a lot of desire that never got answered, a lot of holding on to hope, which actually for me feels very uncomfortable. And I also look back at the year and I'm like, man, my nervous system really learned how to like slow down and be at ease for the more than I've ever felt in my life. I felt so here, like just fully embodied in myself, so present, so like not bracing. I feel like most of my life I've never not been in control and I've never not been afraid. I've just always been bracing. And this year I really felt, I really felt that in my body melt, that like fight and flight. And I think it was so fun to be able to still feel so much energy and ambition without that urgency and intensity and pressure. That was one of the most beautiful things this last year. My marriage, oh, my marriage got so good this year. Goodness gracious, like so many prayers answered so much growth between the two of us, like both together and individually. And motherhood was a it was a challenging motherhood year. And when I look up, when I look at how I showed up, not the circumstances, but how I showed up, damn I'm proud. And honestly, I got to the end of this year and I was like, man, no notes. And I shocked myself when I said that because I was like, wait, as a recovering perfectionist, what do you mean there's no notes? Don't get me wrong, there's some notes. But none of it is this like like I got to the end of the year and I truly had this feeling of like I could hang my hat on this year. If this is as good as it gets, if this is as good as it ever gets, I'm so content. It feels so good. And that feeling felt so good. And I felt that most of the year, even in those like brutal phases. Okay. Thanks for being here today. I hope you have a wonderful day. And I'd love to hear from you. Shoot me an shoot me an email, shoot me a DM, and I'll see you on the next episode.