How Breathwork Resets a Stressed Nervous System

For many moms, that quiet “I’m fine” isn’t actually fine. It’s a nervous system pattern of holding it all together under bracing and control. 

When you’re the one holding everything together - the schedules, the emotions, the invisible labor -your body often learns to stay braced. Literally and figuratively holding your breath. 

In this episode, we sit down with Tabatha Debruyn to talk about 9D Breath work and somatic breath work and why it’s one of the fastest ways to shift your nervous system state without forcing yourself to think your way out of stress.

We unpack what suppression looks like in high-functioning women:

functional freeze, low-level anxiety, mind fog, and the subtle bracing that earns gold stars but slowly drains your joy.

Tabitha shares her own story through grief, caregiving, panic attacks, and insomnia — and how breath work helped her feel emotions she didn’t even realize she had been holding.

Together, we explore how breath can become a practical daily tool for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and building more capacity for life’s stressors.

You’ll also hear and try a few simple breathing practices with us — including a down regulation breath that supports rest and digestion, and an activation breath that gently energizes the body while building resilience to stress. Because nervous systems and energy are meant to move and be dynamically alive. Learn how to change your state with breath work, one of the tools and skills always available to us in the middle of conflict, hard moments, and motherhood. 

If you’ve ever felt irritated by advice like “just calm down,” this conversation offers something different: real regulation, not playing calm.

We talk about co-regulation with kids, why moms often become the emotional thermostat in the home, and simple practices like humming and singing that stimulate the vagus nerve and help your body shift out of survival mode.

And if breath work has ever felt intimidating, too “woo,” or too time consuming, this episode will leave you with clear language, grounded science, and tools you can use in just a few minutes.

Where to find Tabatha: 

Website

Instagram

Free resources & email list

– A 7-minute cinematic introduction to 9D Breathwork

– A 5-minute nervous system reset

– A 7-minute guided morning routine

Book : An Inspired Guide to Living the Life of Your Dreams, is available on Amazon. It offers reflective prompts and practices that support many of the ideas we explored together.

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops. 

🎧  Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email. 

Transcript

Tabitha’s Path To Breathwork

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. I'm Becca, a somatic healing practitioner and a holistic life coach for moms, and this podcast is for you. You can expect honest conversations and incredible guests that speak to health healing and growth in every area of our lives. This isn't just strategy for what we do, it's support for who we are. I believe we can be wildly ambitious while still holding all of our soft and hard humidity as I love combining deep inner healing with strategic systems and no-nonsense talk about what this season is really like. So grab whatever weird health beverage you're currently into and let's get into it. We are going to be talking about breath work, about breath, about somatics, just how we change the body and the nervous system without overthinking is one of my favorite, my favorite things. So, Tabitha, let's just like jump right in. What is your journey with breath work and finding yourself to this practice, to this thing that I think, you know, those who have tried it know, and those who haven't, they're like, what do you mean, breathing?

Suppressed Grief And The Body

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited about this conversation today. My my journey is a is a windy one, but it's just like one door open, one door closed, one door open, one door closed. And when the student is ready, the teacher comes. But I am a mom of two grown kids. I have a 26-year-old and a 23-year-old. I was a high school teacher for 15 years, and I had a real desire to live a bigger life. And my salary and my time was capped being in the classroom. So I started on my entrepreneurial journey 15, 17 years ago now. And while I was doing the mom thing and teaching and building an online business, I continued to really open up to what was possible, fell in love with entrepreneurship and really built an online multi-million dollar business while doing mom. And at that point, I decided to do a lot of traveling and mission work with my kids. And personal growth has always been a big part of me. And as I was doing the building the entrepreneur with the business, I was coaching other startup entrepreneurs. So I got into transformational coaching and energetics and somatics as well as mindset. And I was working with these incredible people who had so much potential and big dreams, but I was coming up against these limiting beliefs over and over and over again. And I thought I need to get past just the mindset and the psychology, and I needed to move into the subconscious mind. And I'm a curious cat. And so I became a rapid transformational hypnotic therapist and put that in my toolkit. And while this was all happening, with the beauty of entrepreneurship and flexibility, I was a primary caregiver for my mom. She got very ill at 58 years old, and it was shocking, it was surprising, and I didn't think I had much time with her left. There was a lot of anxiety, there was a lot of PTSD in my extended family. I did have a lot of modalities that I tapped into, but we had 10 years together. 10 years, and it was ups and downs and twists and turns. So me using these tools, me sharing these tools, and we really never left anything unsaid because I never knew if there was going to be another time. So when she did pass at 68 years old, I knew I would grieve, I knew I would be sad, but I didn't realize what I had been suppressing. And I think many of us, when we are busy moms and always, you know, striving and doing all the things, juggling all the things. And uh I was fine as long as I was doing for others. If I was serving in some capacity, I was fine in the privacy of my own time and my own thoughts when I was all by myself. I was struggling with panic attacks, insomnia, my hands were going, my heart was palpitating, and I didn't want to tell anybody because I wanted to have it all together. And when I came to terms with the fact that I was struggling with functional depression, I knew that the modalities I had were amazing, but they just weren't enough. And that's when I met Brian Kelly online. And Brian Kelly is the founder of Breathmasters and 9D breathwork. And his breath work seemed so different than anything I'd ever done before because I've regulated, I have done meditation with breath work, I understand the power of breath, but this active conscious connected somatic breathwork journey that he was offering with a whole intricate soundscape with bioneural beats and frequencies and music and neurolinguistic programming, it all aligned. I knew it all because I'd done it all individually, but I had never done it all together. So I really felt aligned with what he had to offer and I trusted that he would be a good facilitator for me. And I think that's a really important part when you were on your healing journey. And I went all in. And this was a longer journey. As we've talked about before, there are many different kinds of journeys for different things, but this was a 90-minute journey. And on the other side of that 90-minute journey, I had allowed myself to feel anger and disappointment and resentment and frustration and loss. And on the other side of allowing those feelings to come up and out and not judge them, I didn't relive anything. It was like I was this detached witness. I felt such peace and expansion. And that night I was able to sleep and I knew that this happened for me so that I could realize the depths of despair that people can feel physically in the body and not have any idea why and how powerful breath work can be to let those go and heal them and move forward. So that's brought me to what I do every day.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Thank you so much for sharing that. I was just, I loved hearing you Sharon speak. And there were so many points there where I was just like, oh, that's so good. Oh, that's so good. I want to dig into it. One of the things you mentioned that stood out most to me is what we're repressing, what we're suppressing. And this deeply resonates with me personally and also professionally. I, you know, I'm still in that season of motherhood where it's just, it's a lot. There is so much. We recently started, I recently started homeschooling, it's soccer season, but like things just pile up. And I think there's just not a lot of time and space where it feels convenient to feel things like grief and anger. Because, and like you said, you know, when you're in this space of I'm fine as long as I'm doing. And I think a lot of women, especially entrepreneurs, especially moms, it's so easy to not pay attention to these things because they feel like an interruption. They feel like this pesky, pesty thing. And I'm curious if you've experienced this. For me, the more that I learned kind of like mindset work and working with mindset blocks, the better I learned to bypass and repress my emotions instead of actually processing, metabolizing, and releasing them. So I almost just kind of learned how to like, oh, I can think my way out of this. Therefore, I don't need to feel this. Therefore, like there doesn't need to be this emotional experience that happens. And many, many times I've learned that lesson the hard way when then it has, it has to come up and out. It has to go somewhere, or it it's not, it creates chaos inside your body. I'm curious if you've experienced that too.

Coping Versus Real Regulation

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Absolutely. And we get really good at coping and we get really good at reframing and using a positive mindset and getting through. But when you feel a regulated nervous system where you've actually had a chance to process some of those feelings, what happens is the you have such great expansion, clarity, optimization. So where I thought I was doing well, I was coping, but there's a big difference between coping and living aligned and living like there's safety in the body and thriving. And that's what somatic breath work can do. It changes the state in the body to allow you to handle and deal with and and acknowledge and integrate some of those things that we don't give ourselves time for, but an actual reset. Because if we keep the lights on too bright for too long, you're right, it has to come out somewhere. And that's where burnout comes in. That's where mind mind fog comes in, that's when reaction comes in, and especially as a mom, because we're under so much all the time, and they're these little beings that have these big feelings. Pardon?

SPEAKER_01 9:47

It's like a pressure cooker.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

It is, it is, but bringing breath work into a daily practice to be able to know how to activate when you want to, because there is a time for fight, flight freeze. Let's get things done, let's be extremely focused, but becoming consciously aware that you can't stay there. And I think a lot of mums stay there and they it's their familiar. So then they fight for that because they're like, I know what this feels like, but to give yourself that time to regulate, to downregulate, come back to homeostasis, it just gives so much more energy and clarity and room for joy as well, because you can get more into the present moment as opposed to being so caught up in what's next.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Yeah. I wonder if we can like tease out this, what it feels like and what it looks like when we are just coping, when we're repressing, when we're suppressing, versus like what it actually means to be regulated, and especially like this up and down regulation, because I I've been recently noticing that a lot of the women, so the women I work with who are in my world. So like my actual clients, the women I'm doing events with, who I get to like connect with, they don't see themselves as dysregulated. They don't necessarily, they're not walking around their lives like having these big outbursts or these giant crashes for the most part, right? Like they see themselves as pretty sturdy and steady because they're really, really good at coping. So good at coping. Gold stars across the board. Like they eat well, they move their body, they have emotional intelligence, right? Like, and they're so good at this mindset stuff because they're so smart. They're so good at this personal growth and development that like we almost create this, like, they're phenomenal at bracing. We're phenomenal at like creating this person who seems unshakable. But the dysregulation is often one, like that functional freeze, that functional flight, that functional freeze, where it's like you're going through the motions, you're still getting stuff done. You don't look like someone who's frozen in life, but you don't like feel it all. Everything feels a little numb and too gray and too dull, or you feel like this low level of like, I'm not really ever present. I'm always somewhere else. But I'm curious for you, like, can we tease apart, like what did it look like and feel like when you're just in that coping state? Because I think this is the language that's missing for a lot of women who could use nervous system work, but they don't see that their nervous systems are in this dysregulated state because it looks so good. They're so functional.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

It is a tricky one. I think speaking about it, I think bringing awareness to we don't know what we don't know. So that if people what I would love to do is teach the fastest scientifically backed way to change the state in the body. If we teach this, and if your listeners do this with us, if this feels good in your body and it feels a little bit different, that means that we've taken you out of the sympathetic fight flight freeze, which is chronic for most people, but also the number one reason people end up in the hospital with ailments, into the parasympathetic nervous system, which is rest, digest, and heal. And connect.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

And exactly. And connect and not just doing for others, where like you're there in the room, but like you feel emotionally connected. I think, I think that's such a piece, especially for moms, because women talk all the time. Like, I want to be present with my kids, I want to be connected with my kids. And they think that's going to come from doing. But a lot of what's missing for these women is it's like, well, yeah, you're doing all of the right things, but you're doing it out of this activation, out of this fight and flight. And you, that's why it doesn't feel like enough. It doesn't feel like you can do enough because you don't feel emotionally, somatically in your body connected to that person.

A One Minute Downregulation Breath

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Someone told me once, and it's a little bit corny, but I do love it, is we are human beings, not human doings. And it's just a really good reminder. So if we could all, and this is safe for anybody anywhere, even if you're driving, if you could all think about taking a breath in through the nose, you're gonna breathe deeply into the belly. Most people, especially moms who are doing all the things, quite often breathe in. They breathe in shallow through their mouth and they pull the abs in. They make everything tight. But when you think about bringing air in through the nose, into the belly, it inflates the belly like a balloon. So it is a bit of a practice, but we're gonna breathe in through the nose into the belly about 60%. And then you're gonna take another sniff of air in, and then you're just gonna relax and let go. If you're by yourself and you can make an audible sound, so you actually feel some vibration on the exhale, out the mouth, longer on the exhale. Let's just try that all together and just notice how you feel. In three, two, one deep breath in through the nose, into the belly, another sniff of air, and relax and let go long on the exhale, like you're breathing through a straw. If that felt good in your body, is it because your heart rate went down, your blood pressure went down? And what I find super cool is you also have more blood flow to the prefrontal cortex. So now you are more present in this moment. You're gonna have greater clarity, you're going to continue through your day in a more relaxed, aligned way. That would be one way that just notice how you feel when you do downregulate. If it feels good, the body probably needs a little bit more of it. And just being more aware in your language about my breath can change my state, and I'm coming back to me so I can be good for me, and then have the abundance of that goodness go to everyone else I care about.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

I love this. And this is one of the reasons why I love breath work and somatic breath work, is what we just did in I mean, less than a minute, probably a few seconds. You brought awareness back to the present moment through breath. You brought awareness back to breathing, which changes it literally changes the state of so many things. Like when we're talking about your nervous system, breath can change that. And I think sometimes we make we make things so complex and complicated. And I know for a lot of women, we go so intellectual with our emotions and with our feeling. And this is such a beautiful way of coming to the body, and especially like you're using your chest, your diaphragm, your ribs, and your belly. And I think so many women, they are cut off at the neck. It like all of the focus is up here, and like we're literally not even breathing correctly, which like is a whole, I feel like you could do a whole entire podcast of just about breathing incorrectly, which when I went to a pelvic floor therapist, I want to say it was maybe two years ago, I was breathing incorrectly. And I recently did a workshop again with some pelvic floor therapists, and they were re-teach, I was like realizing like, oh, I really, I'm still not breathing very deeply or completely. And it it really does change everything, those small little shifts, or you know, one of the other things is my I had a tilt in my pelvis, and it seems like such a simplistic thing, but as soon as my pelvis is in the correct place, naturally my shoulders and neck are in the correct place. And when I have correct posture, I feel different in my body. And that changes the way that you show up. And so these little things like the way that we're breathing and just taking a few moments for breath work. Before we started recording, Tabitha had sent me one of her breath work things that you can get through her website. And I was telling her, like, you know, I've done the 90-minute, like even the 9D breath work, which I love the 9D breath work, just the audio component to it, the visualizations, like my brain couldn't, like there was enough stimulation for my ADHD brain that I could stay in my body, that I could, even when I got distracted, I could come back to my body. That was phenomenal for me. Where was I going with this? Oh, but it was beautiful to have this shorter one where like a reminder to myself that like it doesn't have to be this all or nothing 90-minute session where like then I also need integration time after. It was like, okay, just take a few minutes to take care of myself, to notice what state that I'm running in, and then to shift it to come back to a more embodied, present, calm state where where I feel like myself in a deeper way. Yeah. Oh, I'm so happy for you.

unknown 19:09

Yeah.

Regulating Kids Through Co Regulation

SPEAKER_00 19:09

And I do hope your listeners go to my website because I will give them that cinematic trailer explaining 9D. You'll also have a five-minute 9D reset that you can use, but not just for you. You can use it at work. You can have it on your phone, you can use it with the kids. I do a lot of breath work. In fact, we are piloting right now breath work in schools, and we are seeing less absenteeism. We are seeing higher scores on tests, we are seeing happier people who are actually wanting to participate more in extracurriculars. Like there are so many really good things happening with the use of breath work and bringing kids into a more regulated state. But I will say, when the mom is regulated, because we mirror each other's nervous systems, then the kids are going to be more regulated.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Oh, absolutely. And especially, I think what's hard is so many moms don't even realize how dysregulated they're getting when their kids are dysregulated. Like we're attuning to our kids so much that their dysregulation is causing our dysregulation. And I think it's so powerful to see yourself as a leader in the home. And, you know, my favorite way of seeing this that, you know, tons of people have said I didn't come up with this, but instead of being the thermometer of the room, you become the thermostat. You you become the most regulated person in the room. And when they are panicking, their animal bodies need you to be regulated. And then they co-regulate with you. But that takes an amount, that takes a massive amount of energy unless you've created a system that can tolerate activation. And that's one thing I would love to hear more about, especially like with 90 breath work, but even nervous system work. I think a lot of people only think of regulation as learning to be calm. And I know my experience with 90 breath work, it was not calm. There was massive amounts of like activation happening all over my body, all over the place emotionally. So I'm curious if we can kind of talk about like that activation piece of nervous system regulation, because I think it's really misunderstood how important it is for us to be able to tolerate and to be able to move in and out of activation as a like that is one of the strongest components for me for nervous system regulation. It's not, are you always just calm and flat? Because usually that means you're more dissociated than anything. Like that, if someone's just always good, I'm like, what are we missing here? What parts of ourselves are repressed or not alive? Like that's not aliveness. So I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this.

Activation Breath And The Science

Stored Trauma And Letting Go

SPEAKER_00 21:58

So activation is a really Important part. When the way we activate is the exact reverse of what I taught your listeners in the beginning with the physiological side. We were breathing in through the nose, into the belly, into the chest, and then a long exhale. For activation, what we're consciously doing is putting them into fight-flight freeze intentionally for a short period of time. Your mind gets very focused, your eyes get very focused, your heart rate goes up a little bit, you get more motivation, and we can move cortisol. We can handle CO2 tolerance, it goes up, we can handle when adrenaline comes up because we've done it in a controlled environment that we know is good for us. So if you're not driving, this isn't something you want to do when you're driving. If you're by yourself and you can just try with us, I would love for you to try. It's called euphoric breath. You're going to breathe in through the mouth, deep into the belly, and then into the chest, and then you relax and you don't even think about the exhale. Let it go. And then again, chest, relax and let go. If we did three more of those together, and we're all, if as long as you're not driving, if we're all just kind of feeling what we feel, and then I'll come back and I'll explain the science. In three, two, one, deep breath in through the mouth, into the belly, into the chest, relax and let go. Belly, chest, relax. Belly, chest, relax. You probably, even in those three breaths, you feel a little bit more energized. You probably feel a little heat in the body. We started to oxygenate the body. What we did was we changed the state in the body. So if you're feeling lethargic, rather than reach for a cup of coffee, try some breath work. You you we actually took the blood flow away from the monkey mind, away from those ruminating thoughts, and put it into the body so that you would have that energy to go up and get and move. So, activation, what it does is it does energize the body. The longer you do it in a somatic journey, it you go into a phenomenon called a transient hypofrontality. So you've got less blood flow to the prefrontal cortex and you start to move into that so powerful part of the mind, the subconscious brain, which makes up 95% of our brain power. So all of a sudden you get these really good creative ideas because they're not the same ones that have been looping. But we also, when done with a trusted facilitator with an intention, we can excavate what's no longer serving you. You may be aware of it. It may be totally in your subconscious and you're not. It could be generational because cellular memory does get passed on. So activation is it's my favorite when it comes to breath work. Downregulation is really important. I have a journey for cellular regeneration. I have a journey for alleviating stress and anxiety. There's an entire library of just down regulation. I love a hybrid journey. A hybrid journey does making sure the safety is brought into the body. And then we activate and we let go of what doesn't need to be there anymore. The body is brilliant. We tap into the wisdom of the body. It starts to sometimes laugh, sometimes cry spontaneously, sometimes you're shaking, sometimes you're yawning. Like that's the body letting go of what we have pushed down and it no longer serves us. That's why on the other side of these journeys, people are like, Tab, I feel so much lighter, so much more expansive. I may have cried, but I feel fantastic now. And it, there's just so much healing that can be done. But yes, activation as well as down regulation, it they're both important. There's no bad breath. It's just knowing how you're breathing and what that does to the body and the mind, and to be able to utilize that to get what you want in that moment in life.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, my experience with 90 breath work, and you know, I've experienced these things in my body for before. So it wasn't alarming to me. And I really trust my body's process, especially all the somatic work I've done. But I'm curious if we talk a little bit about like what it means, like that our bodies are storing things and what it looks like and feels like and means when you're letting go of that. So, like for me, I'm sure there was just crazy sounds coming out of me, but also like physiologically, I could feel parts of my body that I wasn't necessarily feeling before. And I think part of that is literally just the blood flow that's happening, the stagnation that I have of there, you know, there's literally some parts of myself that because of trauma, there's like some stuck patterns there. There's some, there's some places that were bound that needed to be released. And I think, you know, there can be shaking, there can be crying, there can be those things, you know. And one of the most popular phrases and books about somatic work is the body keeps the score, which I don't necessarily love because it it sounds like your body's keeping score against you, but your body held these patterns for a reason. But I think what's beautiful with breath work is you get to release those patterns without all the cognitive work. Like I think it was really interesting for me because I have so much cognition about what's happening. I could, I could talk circles around the labels and the this is this trauma, and this is the like, you know, the psychological, physiological patterns. But in breath work, I get done and it's like I couldn't quite tell you. And that's actually kind of irritating to me because I'm someone who loves to intellectualize. I would almost, I almost would prefer sometimes to intellectualize my feelings and my problems and my patterns than actually have to go through the process of feeling releasing and then feeling better. But it's true, like even long-term, just that one session, there was a physiological change and the way that I feel in my body, the way that I showed up to certain relationships. But I don't have the intellectual, here's exactly what happened, why, and how. It's like it gets us back into our animal bodies. And I love that. And it's a little frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

I do understand the frustration, but I you this is a really good point. Because if your listeners are at all curious, first and foremost, if you it resonate with what I'm saying, if you go to my website, I do a 30-minute complimentary discovery call to demystify. That's what I'm gonna do right now because there are a lot of people who, especially type A people who are juggling a lot of things, we don't want to surrender, we don't want to let let our the control go. And you need to have somebody who can hold space, unconditional, loving space, and is trauma-informed to be able to handle whatever may come up. But when, so first and foremost, find a facilitator and and ask the questions because there's nothing to be afraid of. You are your captain, the captain of your ship at all times. You actually are, even though we're working at a deep somatic level, you are in full control at all times. Even in the activation, as I'm I want you to move to the edge, I'm gonna push you. I want this to be an incredible healing journey because it can be life-changing, transformation in in an hour. Some people have said it's like 10 years of therapy that I integrated in one session and I didn't talk to anybody. But the thing is, at any time, you can close your mouth, breathe through your nose, take a deep breath in, longer on the exhale, your body will immediately move from that activation to that down regulation. And we will guide you to make sure you feel safe the whole time. But what might happen, and quite often does happen, is as we are letting go, the body is letting go, it might sweat, it lets go that way. You might yawn, you might laugh, you may cry, you may wiggle, you may dance, you may moan, you may groan. And in actual fact, in some of my journeys, some of the most popular ones, I say grab a pillow. After this long breath hold, I've really done a whole lot of guiding. We're gonna let out a primal scream, and you're just gonna allow that energy to come forth. Now, it feels amazing on the other side of it. You are either in person or online. You can have your camera on, you can have your camera off. Like there's so many ways that we can make sure you feel comfortable. But allowing your body to do what it wants to do, to let go of what it doesn't need, to make space for what it does, is where the magic is.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

I love that you talked about that. And, you know, I think, you know, the way I've heard it described, which I love describing it this way too, is safe enough. And I think that is so big for trauma resolution is you start recognizing that there, at least for me, this is this is some of my language, not just necessarily professionally, but personally. I had to realize that like this world isn't safe. And part of my trauma healing journey is finding safe enough. And finding safe enough within those parts or places or emotions where they feel scary. They feel like a lot. And I think breath work can be really powerful as well as most somatic movement. I think this is why weightlifting, or, you know, for me, my first introduction to somatic work was years before I ever even heard the word. And it was every time I started kickboxing, I would just start sobbing because it was my body doing something that wasn't familiar to it, fighting, right? That fight. I had such a repressed, suppressed fight in me that as soon as I would get that activation, it would move something in me. And it felt amazing after. But when it happened, it was a lot. But I had a lot of activation to process in this body of mine. So it's like, I think breath work is another beautiful way where you create a safe enough environment for your body to process without having to go back to memory, without having to talk about it over and over. Because at least for me, there was a time in a season where I needed to talk about the trauma. I needed someone to hear it. I needed someone to witness it. I needed someone to have the appropriate adult response of this was not okay. And there came a point in my healing where it was like talking about it. I was sick of talking about it. I was sick of talking about what broke me, what was wrong with me. I could, I could talk circles around it. And I did. And I was like, I want, I want to figure out who I am and what I am outside of this. On the other, like, there has to be like who am I after? I want, I wanted an after, right? Like I didn't want this to like, is this really all I'm ever gonna talk about or feel or say? Is this really gonna be the underlying thing in every motion? Which by the way, it's a spiral up, right? Like I have to revisit things sometimes. And for the most part, what I love about somatic work, breath work, is it brings our bodies into a new state of activation without the trauma history? Like we're experiencing something new and different of, you know, labor was like this for me, where I was like, oh, this is massive amounts of activation, but like I'm okay. I'm okay. And actually, like, oh, feel really powerful and badass. I'm curious, especially like during but even after breath work, how how does this integrate with people? Like, do they do they tend to need to talk about it? Are there integration practices you recommend after like a big breath work experience like this? I'm just curious about that piece of like the after the breath work.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

I think after the first of all, at the end of a journey, the beauty is this is what 9D breath work does. There's an arc, we bring safety in, we set intentions, and we are open to whatever is in your highest and best good. And then we activate and we prove whether it's breaking addiction cycles, whether it's letting go, whether it's breathing through grief and loss, whether it's healing the five primary trauma imprints, like the library is so extensive as to what we what we offer, but on the other side of it, we never leave you there. We always bring you into the safety, the gratitude, the expansion, the freedom, the what's next, the new identity that you're stepping into because you've made space for it, because you're not the same person you were on the other side of it. So, as for integration, I always speak with them after if they want to share. It does take a little bit of time to put words to it. It's very difficult to describe what happens. Most people are like, that was freaking wild. I don't even know. I feel good. I'm so happy I did it. It was nothing to be afraid of. But to say what happened in that, I'm I'm not really sure. And then sometimes, if it's a group session, because I do them privately and in groups, somebody will say something. Oh, I had a vision of when I was six, and I'd completely forgotten how good that felt when I was here. Like, and then some that will have somebody else unpack a memory or something that that may have happened. Everybody's journey is so different. So I do speak in it with integration, but I also encourage people just to nourish their body. If you can get out in nature, allow it to integrate, allow your body to feel different. But getting enough water, a bubble bath, a shower, a shower quite often will, if there's any extra emotional residue that still wants to come out, that, and then people are always welcome to reach back for further integration if they need it. But generally, because of the arc on the other side of it, they feel good. We make sure they're in their bodies before they leave, whether in person or online, some journal prompts, a bubble bath, a walk in nature. Those are always my favorite go-tos for integration.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Yeah. The retreat I went to where we did the 90 breath work, we actually had it was either an hour or several hours of silence after, and it was magic. Magic. It was in the mountains, you know, some people went outside, some people like just rested, and then we had like this really nourishing, like but light meal. It was beautiful, and it was just like just loving on our bodies and being held in such a like there was nothing I had to do. It just felt like it happened for me. And I'm not used to that kind of healing. I'm used to pretty like this is gonna be hard and I'm gonna have to do work. And I don't breath work felt like receiving something versus having to like force something for me, you know. I don't think I learned that the language till this conversation, but like it really did feel so like such a relief from like holding it all in and holding it all together, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

No, I I love that it is you do receive, it's like you're filled up, you let go, and you have made more space for what you do want in life and what you do want to feel in your body. And since this is a motherhood podcast, I will tell you if I could get every 20-year-old man and woman on a mat and allow them a safe place to uh let their feelings out and and have that reset in the body. It's the world is a difficult place right now. And I think we need more breath work now than ever.

Why Breathwork Matters Right Now

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Yeah, I agree. And I think we need more coming back to our human animal bodies. I think, you know, and I could go on a whole side rant about this, especially with how prevalent AI is becoming. It's interesting how, at least for me, I keep thinking like, is this cool for like the intellectual side? Sure. But I don't think that's what our culture lacks. I don't, I don't think people are lacking information. I don't think people are lacking mental information. I think if anything, we have too much. We have so much that people are lacking discernment, they're lacking decision making, they're lacking how to like filter through all of it and like what is relevant and important, and also even just like skill building, because it's like I used an example the other day of it's like we're all watching football and thinking, oh, I can go play football now, but no one's actually getting on the field, practicing it, building the skill of football. It's like ChatGPT is giving us this here's what you're gonna eat every meal, but then you're not eating it. That's like the cognitive information. But like in my work, I don't think I've ever had a client come to me who truly was lacking awareness of mindset or ideas or information. It was lacking connection to their animal, human being body and other bodies and actually how to manage their energy and time and attention and focus when so much of what's happening in our modern world is becoming data-driven. And it's like, yeah, all of that's cool, but if you don't know how to breathe, what's the point? Like, if you can't connect to it and do something with it and have it be a living, breathing thing, what's the point? I and so I think this is why breath work and somatics is so deeply important right now for everyone.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Yeah. I'm curious what are some of the things about breath work that you feel like maybe are misunderstood or people are missing?

Misconceptions About Breathwork

SPEAKER_00 40:53

I think people think it's scary. I think people think it has to take a long time. We showed in only a few seconds how your breath is like a superpower. It can change the state in your body and in your mind. And when your body feels safe and your mind is clear, you moving into a more positive thought or a more creative thought to optimize, that's that's powerful. Or if you're feeling lethargic and you you want to be motivated, how quickly you can activate. I think that people think it's woo-woo. And because it's hard to put words to a feeling in the body. It's an experiential experience. That's why I, if you're at all curious, come in and try it because it can make a world of difference. It's and it is backed by science. It's backed by neuroscience. We're programming your reticular activating system, a filter in the brain, for a better, more aligned thought. And we are putting your body in a better state to be healthier. And you combine those together, and you can see incredible results. People will say it's like magic tap. And it's not magic, it's energetics and it's neuroscience. We've literally changed your frequency. We have regulated it so your body feels better, it's healthier, so you've got more energy, your mind is clearer, you've got better thoughts, so you've got energy and alignment to take action. And we all know if you take the right action, the results are going to be greater. And that's what breath work can offer. Whether it's an athlete looking to optimize, we have a journey, it's great activation to what it could be an athlete, it could be an actor, it could be uh an artist, it could be a speaker to uh to get to that next level of optimization. Breath can do incredible things.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

Oh, it does incredible things. It's interesting. One of my favorite ways to do breath work recently is through humming, and I've specifically found several songs on Spotify. And I was using it to like regulate, or I was using it like after booty yoga. But when I do speaking engagements, I tend to get like I get really genuinely excited, but I get my hands shake, and I don't, I don't physiologically feel like nervous or afraid. It's excitement, but that bothers me. So, because you know, then you're holding the mic and your hands shaking. So I started doing this breath work before I go in. I started like doing this humming song that's very like down regulating, and my like whole body and mind and emotion just feels so much steadier. And that feels so much better because then I'm not going in just like too excited and activated, where I'm just like, I can't like find my place or my hands are shaking. And I just I noticed the first time I did it, I was like, oh my like, and I didn't have because I couldn't like it, wasn't a thinking thing, and it wasn't, it didn't even feel like an anxiety. Thing. It was just kind of like my body just needed a state change. And I keep giggling because I keep yawning after we do the breath work. So I think I should do some breath work after this because clearly my body's trying to like. I can't remember if yawning was up or down regulating. It's down regulating, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Yawning is usually letting go of old stale fatigue. So you are you're now becoming more energized, would be my guess.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

Oh we mentioned yawning. I mean, I yawned again if you're not watching.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

About humming. Humming is a great tool, and many of our journeys have humming in it. You're encouraged to hum. And what that does is it stimulates the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is the largest nerve from the brain to every organ in the body, and it puts the body in a sense of safety. So I love that as a great tool.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

Humming. I think singing, I've reminded people recently that like singing is breathwork because you're you're breathing out and then it forces you to be inhaling bigger and better. And like just reminding people that like these are available and accessible to you at any point. And that's what I love, especially in parenting, is it's like, this isn't like you need to go do this by yourself alone all of the time. This is like you can literally just change the way you're breathing. Your kid is having a fit, you notice you're dysregulated. Take a couple big deep breaths, which people are like, oh yeah, I'll just take some breaths. And it's like, no, really, try it. And then tell me if it doesn't work. And teaching your kids to do these breaths.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Exactly.

Simple Breath Tools For Families

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Like it really only takes a few minutes. It's simple, but it truly, I think it nourishes the place in us that we we tend to overintellectualize, like this is some big complex problem. And it's like, maybe it's not. Like maybe this can be resolved, not resolved as in fixed, but like instead of just trying to fix the surface issue, it really just shifts the energy in the room. It's so, so powerful. I'm trying to think, is there anything else that we didn't talk about with breath work or patterns that you really want to share or talk about today?

SPEAKER_00 46:05

I would just invite people to become more aware of using the word breath in your vocabulary. When you're with the kids, let's all just take a breath. You know, everybody seems a little activated right now. Let's really take a deep breath in and breathe out longer on the exhale. When it comes to little ones, I'll teach them to stop, stop, blow out the candles on the cake. Stop, stop, blow out the candles on the cake. Five of those can all of a sudden people are laughing and having a better time. And the body, the state is changed and the mind is in a better place. So I would just encourage people to become more consciously aware of their breath. Notice if they are really breathing shallow, if the shoulders are lifted, if they're feeling agitated, okay, no judgment. I'm in fight, flight freeze, really normal. Let's turn the lights down. I know how to do that now. Take a deep breath in through the nose. That's your filtration system. Bring it deep into the belly and breathe longer on the exhale. It's a gift you can give yourself, but then when you do that, you're gifting that to everyone around you. And I think the world could use a little bit more lightness. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Well, and even just what you're sharing with the toddlers, and this also works by the way with teenagers, any age child, spouses, yourself. I I think a lot of people, what they're trying to do with nervous system when they're thinking of like, oh, I need to calm down, they're doing it in the way of have you ever been in a bad mood and your husband's like, calm down. Or you're anxious and someone's like, just don't worry about it. And it's like, oh, thank you. I feel better now. We know how irritating it is when someone else does that to us. And yet, I find that is probably one of the most common ways that women cope with their dysregulation is not actually feeling calm. It's pro it's what's the word I want to use? It's playing calm. It's acting calm, even if they don't feel calm. And I think what you are sharing is true regulation. It's true calmness because you're allowing the energy, the activation, the fight or the flight to move. Like that, there's an energetic what I what I'm always trying to tell people is it's like you're not bad for having fight and flight. It's just that your body, your body wants to fight or flight. So, how do we allow your body to have the energetic movement or meta like metabolism of moving that energy out of you or through you or into something appropriate, right? Like if you do need to set a boundary with your kid, you need some of that fight energy. We just need to make sure it's not over or under responding, right? And so I think breath work is such a beautiful moment of and the stomp, stomp, blow out a candle. Like I love that one of it's teaching your kid, like, because I think a lot of us say the it's okay to be angry. It's not okay to blank blank, right? Like, yes, be angry. But it's like, how do you teach a kid how to be angry, how to feel angry, but then not to like scream at sister or hit sister or something? Here's a way to feel angry, to allow anger to move through your body, to have fight in your body, to move it. So you're not repressing it, you're not pretending you're not angry, you're not playing nice and playing that you're calm. You're actually creating the regulation back to a place where you do feel calm. You feel better, you're not just acting better. And I think that's such a beautiful piece that I really said it so many times this podcast, and you've said it so beautifully too, because I think that's such a misunderstanding of activation for women is like, oh, I just need to never be activated. It's like, no, no, no. How do you like move through those in a way that feels aligned with your values? Yeah. So thank you so, so much for being on the podcast today. As we said, your website has some beautiful breath work journeys, some downloads. Anything else as we're signing off on this podcast about breath work?

SPEAKER_00 50:28

I would just say if there's any part of you that wants to feel good in your body, if you're numbing, if you if you want to optimize or you've got things to let go of, if any of this resonated, please go to my website. I would love the chance to meet you. Sign up for a complimentary discovery call. Let me give you a couple of tools that can work specifically for your situation or guide you to a tool or a program or a journey. I'd love the chance to lead you. And because you can feel good in your body and clear in your mind and step into the next level of joy in life.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Yeah. And go back on this podcast and go listen to the upregulating and the downregulating breath and really try that. Do one or two of those. Use a few of them today. I'm always trying to encourage people like, don't just take in this information from that podcast, from this podcast. Like, I hope you go use it. Like, try it out, get your hands dirty with it. I hope this podcast brought you some good information, but also hopefully true activation and skills that you can apply to your everyday life because that's that's where it matters, right? Is like where it actually helps you feel better. That's always my hope and my goal. And of course, like share it with me and Tabitha. Comment, leave a review. Thank you so much for being here, Tabitha. I feel like you are just such a beautiful person to be in connection with. I can feel like my body is just like, oh, I love being with you. I heard someone the other day say that like that's such a beautiful sign. And I was like, it is like when my body just there's just those people where you're like, oh, my body likes being around you. What a compliment.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

It was a real pleasure sharing with your audience today.

Subscribe Review And Share

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Yeah, it was so fun to have you. And yeah, definitely go check out her free breath work sessions. They're beautiful. And I hope you go try breath work. I hope you you breathe this week, even if that's all you do, even if you don't go do sessions, just breathing when you're in the kitchen in the morning before you go to bed. It's just such a beautiful way to connect to your life and love on yourself a little bit. So thank you so much for being here, Tabitha. And I'll see you guys next episode. Thanks for joining me on today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. Make sure you have subscribed below so that you see all of the upcoming podcasts that are coming soon. I hope you take today's episode and you take one aha moment, one small tangible piece of work that you can bring into your life to get your hands a little dirty, to get your skin in the game. Don't forget to take up audacious space in your life. If this podcast moved you, if it inspired you, if it encouraged you, please do me a favor and leave a review, send an episode to a friend. This helps the show gain more traction. It helps us to support more moms, more women. And that's what we're doing here. So I hope you have an awesome day. Take really good care of yourself, and I'll see you next time.