Where Boundaries Begin: The Foundations of Healthy Boundaries

The First Boundary Is the Pause

Coming back to your body, regulating your nervous system, and learning to respond instead of react.

In this episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast, we slow boundaries down and bring them back into the body. Because before boundaries become a conversation, a script, or a decision about contact, they often begin with something much smaller: a pause. 

We talk about what happens when conflict, noise, parenting stress, or family dynamics overwhelm your nervous system and suddenly your reactions feel bigger, faster, and harder to control than you want them to. Rebecca shares practical somatic tools like orienting and pendulation to help you return to the present moment, reconnect to yourself, and respond from a more grounded place instead of survival patterns like freeze, fawn, shutdown, overthinking, or people pleasing. 

This episode also explores the deeper layers underneath boundaries work: emotional overwhelm, sensory sensitivity, childhood conditioning, trauma healing, enmeshment, and the exhausting habit of managing everyone else’s emotions before your own. We name how motherhood often reactivates old wounds and why healing is not just about “staying calm,” but about building enough capacity to stay connected to yourself while emotions move through you. 

We unpack:

•  why your child’s emotions can feel so triggering even when nothing is “wrong” 
•  the difference between calming down and true nervous system regulation 
•  how overthinking and under-feeling create resentment, burnout, and reactivity 
•  orienting as a practice for coming back to where and when you are 
•  pendulation and how to move between activation and support in the body 
•  separating your emotions from someone else’s emotions 
•  unhealthy empathy, emotional merging, and enmeshment 
•  why naming harm matters before forgiveness and healing 
•  motherhood, trauma reactivation, and revisiting wounds at new stages of life 
•  practical regulation tools like movement, music, hydration, changing environment, and sensory support 
•  why the pause is often the very first boundary to practice 

Rebecca also shares personal reflections on trauma healing, responsibility, consent, and how boundaries are not about becoming cold or disconnected, but about becoming more honest, differentiated, and relationally present. 

If you’ve been searching for support around:

•  nervous system regulation 
•  somatic healing 
•  boundaries with parents 
•  emotional overwhelm in motherhood 
•  people pleasing and fawning 
•  parenting triggers 
•  family conflict 
•  freeze responses 
•  enmeshment 
•  relational boundaries 
•  trauma healing 
•  emotional burnout 

…this episode will help you feel more grounded, more compassionate toward yourself, and more equipped with practical tools you can actually use in real life.

Follow the Motherhood Mentor Podcast for the rest of this boundaries series, share this episode with a friend who’s carrying too much, and leave a review so more women can find nuanced support for nervous system healing, family boundaries, and motherhood.

Ready for better boundaries- to be able to feel where you end and others begin and build better relationships- first to yourself and then to others? 

Find out more here. 

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops. 

🎧  Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email. 

Transcript

Why Boundaries Need The Body

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to today's episode of the Motherhood Mentor Podcast. This is your host, Rebecca Dollard, and we are continuing to talk about boundaries. Today I wanted to slow things down and really give you some ways to feel your boundaries, to feel regulation, to settle when you might be feeling anxious or overwhelmed, or let's say you're in the middle of a conflict. I really wanted to give you some somatic practices that help you come back to self, that help you come back to presence, that help you regulate, even if someone else is dysregulated, and really just give you some really practical tools that are very effective and so simple. And I think it's important we name them as practices because this isn't like a one and done thing. This is like when you use these practices, you're interrupting a pattern and you're creating a new pattern of response, of giving yourself time or a different way to respond and react to other people, which is so much of the reason people seek out coaching or therapy or healing is that you're recognizing that your responses are over or underreacting to the other person or that the relationship is no longer working.

When Your Kids Activate Your Nervous System

SPEAKER_00 1:26

And, you know, in this series, we've been talking about these complex boundaries. And I think, you know, even the relationship to your kids is a complex boundary. You can love your kids and they can still activate or trigger things in you that aren't even about them. A perfect example, and one that like I probably have given many times on this podcast, is that like there's times when my kids are playing and playful and joyful, and it creates so much irritation and activation and overwhelm in my body. I used to think it was anger. It's not anger. It's not that there needs to be a boundary with them because there's nothing wrong with their behavior. It's quite literally just a capacity. It's like I'm very sensory sensitive. I don't do well with certain levels of sound, or like my kids are pretty comfortable with conflict, with like bickering. In fact, like I would say, like in some ways, both my kids and my husband are really good at like conflict isn't like a big deal to them. And even when they're like being, I would I would use the word dramatic, and I don't mean that in like a rude sense or like a mocking sense. I just mean like, you know, there's a lot of expression happening. They're very comfortable with that. I'm very uncomfortable with that. Even with like all the quote unquote healing and capacity work that I've done, my nervous system still just doesn't like it. I want it to stop. I want it to go away. That absolutely impacts the way that I parent, the way that I can sometimes tend to over or under parenting, either because I'm trying to make it stop, or because I'm trying to remove myself and like hope that like it goes away. Neither of those are really usually good parenting responses, or even just who I want to be. Same thing is true with my marriage or any of my other boundaries or relationships. I have to be able to witness and feel and change the way that I relate to what is going on within me if I want any hope of influencing and impacting what is going on with them. As a parent, when your toddler or your teenager or your eight-year-old or your whatever age your kid is, when they're having a meltdown, when they're spiraling, when they're emotional, when they're struggling, what is it that you feel? What is it that you're witnessing and feeling? Do you puff up? Do you shrink down? Do you feel frozen? Do you feel like a live wire? Do you feel like an instant pot that's been building pressure and pressure and pressure and pressure? And then all of a sudden, someone accidentally clicks that thing on top in months or the whole day's worth just comes out sideways at the wrong person or the wrong time or in the wrong way. All of that is coming from a mismanagement of our boundaries, of our capacity, of what we need and how we're feeling ourselves. And so I want to teach you a couple practices from somatics that can help you come back to self, that can help you re-regulate. And when I say re-regulate, I'm not talking about being calm. I'm talking about having activation and having a different way to react and respond to that activation than shutting down, then fawning, then people pleasing. But a lot of times when people are trying to teach women how to be calm, what happens is that we're bypassing gaslighting or high functioning over our response, which is something that you're probably very well practiced at. You're probably very well practiced at overthinking and underfeeling, dissociating from your anger, dissociating from your rage, or pretending it's not happening and then having it accidentally come out sideways in passive aggressiveness or resentment or envy or even like depressive moments or burnout can come from you repressing your natural responses. Your mom called, you're having a hard conversation, or you're in a moment and you're realizing you're triggered, you're realizing you're flooded, or you're shutting down, or you're fawning, or you're people pleasing. One, I would really encourage you to practice some of these tools that I'm teaching, not in the moment of conflict. You want your body to already have known what this is like, what it feels like before you're in that moment. Because when we're in that moment, we're not logical beings. We're usually emotional and we're usually not emotionally intelligent because a lot of times, when it's hysterical, it is historical. What your nervous system and your body are responding to isn't what's happening in the present moment. It is over or underreacting based off of the past or expected future threat. So let's say your little guy gets really explosive and angry and mean or aggressive, and you have this fear of like, oh my gosh, my kid's gonna be an a-hole, or he's gonna like be emotionally reactive, or oh my gosh, he's gonna gaslight his wife because that's what he's doing to me, or your daughter lies, or your daughter is just being this victim and over-emotional. If you can't feel or respond to the perspective, the perspective of the present moment of like, is this within the range of healthy normal? Not healthy, comfortable, not like, oh, we like this and this is happening, but like, is this within like the range of like normal human experience? Which by the way, is really hard for most of us because we've never experienced it either in your own family or you've never witnessed it in your friends or people, because like we're not living in close community, we're not living tribal anymore.

Isolation, Family Patterns, And Overfunctioning

SPEAKER_00 7:43

So we rarely, if ever, get to see how people are in their home together. We modern mothers are very lonely. We're very isolated. And even if you have good friends and good family and good support, the reality is that most of your mothering is happening isolated, where no one can see, no one can touch it. Most of your interactions with your mother, with your father, with your own family, no one else is seeing it. No one else is hearing it, no one else is witnessing it, and no one else knows the context. No one else knows the family rules or relationships or dynamics the way that you do. And very often they've never even really been named. And all of that is so important because, like most of that, it's not just showing up in your relationships to your parents. It's showing up in your relationship to yourself, how you take care of you or how you don't take care of you, how you coddle, or how you push yourself so hard that you never give yourself grace or compassion. And you drive yourself with this pernect perfectionistic ambition that actually it doesn't feel creative or fun or rewarding. It feels exhausting, looks pretty, keeps you safe, keeps others at a distance, but it keeps you from ever having help or ever being seen in your mess or you're hard or you're heavy because everyone thinks you've got this because you keep telling them and yourself, I've got this. You're overfunctioning or you're underfunctioning. As a mom, you're repeating the cycle or you're moving into a new weird cycle because you've never paid attention to these patterns. You're treating your spouse in a way that like you never saw what is what even is a healthy relationship, a healthy marriage. How do we do conflict and boundaries conversation with healthy people who we love? So this stuff is impacting us on so many different levels.

Orienting To The Present Moment

SPEAKER_00 9:50

And so the first somatic tool or practice I want to teach you is orienting. We could also call this presence. There's several different ways to orient. You can orient internally or externally. But a lot of times, instead of moving straight to the body and to what I feel, orient to the room that you're in. So literally, right now, as you're listening to this podcast, maybe you're washing dishes, maybe you're driving, keeping your eyes open, very important, especially if you're driving. Just look around the room. Look all the way left. All the way right. Maybe look all the way up. Looking all the way down. And just scanning the room. Maybe if there's a window seeing what's outside, what the weather's like, noticing what you see, you can notice a specific color, looking for everything that's green. You might notice texture. I bet that if you look at an object, a wall, or that thing in front of you, if you licked it, you know exactly what texture it would feel like on your tongue. Like just looking at my wall. I bet I could like I know the texture it would be if I licked it. Isn't that a funny thing? I hope that one helps you. Orient to the room. Notice who's here. Who's with you? Are the kids in the room? Maybe they're not in the room with you, but maybe they're in their room. And then notice is there anyone that you feel or that you're thinking about, or that like their energy feels like a vortex and is just sucking. It's like an energetic vortex, like a black hole that's like sucking your energy. Or maybe there's a person who's like taking up too much space. And just notice notice if you can feel them, even if they're not here in the room with you. That's one of the ways that we can orient to where we are. And now noticing when you are, what day is it? What time is it? How old are you? And saying these things out loud. Like as I'm recording this, it is Tuesday, May 12th, at 127. How old are you today? And how old do you feel? Where are you and when are you? And is your attention and your energy on what you're doing? So I wonder if you can notice what you are doing right now. Clearly, you're listening to this podcast. Are you sitting? Are you standing? Are you on a walk? Are you driving? Where are you? When are you? What are you doing? And bring all of your energy and attention back to the present moment. Where are your hands, your feet? Notice the temperature in the room. This perspective taking. It helps us come back and orient to when and where and who and when we are. And it is such a powerful way to quite literally practice presence, where our feeling and our attention and our energy and our thought comes back to the moment where we are, not past processing, not future planning and orienting, which there's nothing wrong with both of those places. We need that. We need those context clues. We need that perspective to be able to zoom in and zoom out. But come back to the present moment. Come back to where and when and who you are. You can do this while you're in conflict with someone. You can do this while you're in the room and your kid is having a fit. Where are we? When are we? What's happening? Can you see it from a bird's eye view and then back again from your body? Can you see it from your current self and not a past or future expected threat?

Pendulation For Regulation And Capacity

SPEAKER_00 14:47

The other tool I want to teach you with boundaries is pendulation. So pendulation can happen within yourself or with another person. And pendulation, think of a pendulum swinging back and forth. So even within your body, notice the full left side of your body and then notice the right side of your body. Notice and bring your energy from your toes and now bring it to your nose. That is the very simplest of pendulation. But why pendulation can be so powerful is a lot of times when you're feeling something, and a lot of people, one, we're cut off and dissociated from our bodies and from emotions and feelings and sensations, anyhow, because we don't trust them, because they're scary, because they're overwhelming, because we've never built the capacity to be with them and see them as healthy context clues, healthy things to feel and process and alchemize. But notice that, like, can you feel your mouth, your tongue, your throat? Maybe there's moments where you're feeling anxiety in your chest. And instead of going straight to your chest to notice what does it feel like and where do you feel it and how does it want to move, like we often do in somatic work. I wonder if before moving to your chest, you just notice your backbone. You bring some resource and support for your chest. Maybe you notice your rib cage, your soft belly. Maybe you notice and feel your legs and the weight of your lower body. And you bring energy and attention because so often when we're feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated, or we're feeling that trauma or that trigger, all of our energy and attention goes to the pain. It goes to where there's something wrong or uncomfortable. And that's important to notice. Just because something is uncomfortable doesn't mean it's bad, doesn't mean it's wrong, doesn't mean it's unhealthy. It just means there's sensation or activation. But instead of always having to go to that place, can you go somewhere else and then back to that place? So once you notice your back or your rib cage, now can you notice your heart space and how your heart is beating and how your breath is not trying to change it, not trying to calm it down, but just noticing it? Does it feel like a swarm of bees? Does it feel like butterflies? Does it feel like electricity? Does it feel heavy and hot and mean? Or does it feel heavy and like grief and this like this aching or this ringing out? Does it feel explosive or does it feel like it's imploding? Notice a sensation of what you're feeling. And this practice can take a while, especially if you've been dissociated from yourself, especially if you are a person who's in very strong fight or flight. You're avoiding feeling this because you need energy in your limbs, and you probably are overthinking and very much in your logical brain to avoid these sensations. But even just a few times a day, checking into your whole body, different parts of your body, your elbow, your knees, your thighs, just huh. So often we're not feeling the separation or the connection with other people. So even sitting in front of another person or in the car, especially in moments of non-conflict, can you practice orienting and feeling yourself and then moving your attention and energy out to the other person? Can you feel what is me, what is them? What is my perception of them? But what is my perception of me? If you're in front of someone, and especially if you're in conflict and you're starting to lose yourself or you're starting to feel like you're deteriorating, can you move your energy to the back of your body long enough that you can feel your full self come back online and then pendulate back to witnessing them once you've felt and witnessed yourself? As a practitioner, this is a very important skill to have. And I'm sharing this like both for me and like if you are a practitioner, but also even if just you're a parent. If and when your child is having a tantrum or a fit, if you are dealing with conflict with your parent, can you pendulate between your experience and their experience? Can you witness and feel yourself also so that you can witness and experiencing them?

Enmeshment, Empathy, And A Separate Self

SPEAKER_00 20:00

This relational work with boundaries is not just we're trying to cut you off from other people. We're also trying to get boundaries restored so that you can connect to other people. How many of you have had a friend or a mother who, as soon as you share your experience, she doesn't know how to sit with your stuff. So she turns the energy back on her. Or you can't share disappointing or hard or grief things because she's so overly enmeshed and empathetic that then she becomes upset. And now instead of her comforting you, you're comforting her. That's what happens with unhealthy empaths, is that you're not just feeling empathy for the other person, you are enmeshed in their own emotions. When that happens, you can't be there for the other person because you've lost your center of self. When you are dealing with this, whether you are the parent dealing with your child or you are the child dealing with your parent, it is so important to be able to feel, see, and witness self and not self, your emotions and their emotions, their mood and your mood. What is yours and what is not yours? Where do you end and where do they begin? Whose feeling is this? Feeling that separation, not because you don't want to care about them, but because you being enmeshed in their feelings isn't actually you caring about them, it's you merging with them. You have to be a separate self in order for you to witness them appropriately and lovingly. This is one of the Best things that I've learned as a practitioner because as I was able to do this with clients, it really empowered me and enabled me to be able to do it in my personal life. I think if we don't talk about it, it is so much easier and more comfortable for me to coach other people on stuff than to take my own medicine. It is giving you medicine isn't hard. Sitting with you and watching you take your own medicine actually isn't hard for me. What's much harder is taking my own medicine because it doesn't taste good and it doesn't feel good. What's even harder is having to sit with my own stuff or my stuff with my kids. We have to be able to do our own work in order to hold others in that. If you cannot tolerate anger in yourself, you're gonna have a really hard time not feeling triggered when someone else is angry because you don't know how to deal with that. You don't know how to feel it. And if you do, you get to use that to teach yourself and then others. But every healing that you do individually impacts what you do relationally. And the things that terrify you or disgust you or bother you about your parents or your kids or that trigger you. When you show up to that work with yourself to build capacity, to build tools and resource and regulation for that experience, for that part of you, because as humans, we are messy and hard people. And I promise you, you are not without fault ever. You are not without responsibility. I actually I remove the ever part of that because there are a lot of situations and circumstances where you truly had no part and it was not your fault, and you couldn't have prevented it and you couldn't have fixed it, and it wasn't your fault.

Trauma, Forgiveness, And Healthy Anger

SPEAKER_00 23:55

I actually think that's an important side conversation that I want to weave in because I I had abuse as a child, and with that perpetrator, I was consistently preached at through like our church and our religious community that forgiveness was the most important thing. And there was a specific time in my life where I witnessed and recognized that the most important thing was not just forgiveness, it was the reckoning with what that thing caused in my life. Like I couldn't forgive the harm when the harm had never been acknowledged or named or even really felt. And it wasn't necessarily that there needed to be a relational reckoning to this person, but I had like there was so long where I lived as a victim, and there is a reality to that. There is a part of me, an age of me. There is a pattern woven into my body of being a victim, of having no power, no say, no consent. It is it was woven into my animal body from one of the most youngest vulnerable ages. I was a victim. And there was there were stages of trauma healing and healing where I needed that validated. I needed to be validated that this wasn't my fault, that I did not need to forgive him, because that was a message that was so sewn into things was forgiveness and reconciliation. And actually, what was appropriate was boundaries and anger and grief and despair and fuck off. That is the healthy adult response to a child being abused. That doesn't necessarily mean access is ever appropriate. And there was a time in my healing and my and my journey where I really needed that victim validated. That victim in me was such a vortex of need and fear and fawning. And because so much of this happened pre-verbal, I went through a season where it felt like I wasn't, there was like almost a survivor's guilt with myself of if I felt too happy or too free or too sexual or turned on, especially because some of my stuff was sexual. People needed to see, or at least I needed to see just how miserable this made me, just how much it stole from me, just how much it took for me, just how much it colored. And I think that was a very important season of my healing. And I don't discount that. I think that had to come first, that validation season. But there was also a season where I had to start feeling and realizing that I was a grown-ass adult and that I was no longer a victim, and that he no longer had power or access to me, that I got to make decisions about my body, about my consent, about my life, about my emotions, about the way that I reacted or didn't react to my partner, to my chill, to my children, to my family. It's like that thing wasn't my fault. But I was now in a space where it was my responsibility to decide how I would hold this, how I would heal this, how I would either keep this to be this festering wound that got to keep stealing from me. Because truly, emotionally and spiritually and relationally, that pattern, those patterns that were created that were not my fault. I didn't ask for them. I couldn't have prevented them. I needed to find a different way to relate to it, to relate to myself. And that was internal boundaries work. That was internal parts work of recognizing that like I can create new patterns within myself, within my relationships. I can move out of that space. I can break these patterns and these cycles. And I deserved that. I had to create a boundary and a line in the sand with that person and that thing that happened to me no longer gets my consent to keep stealing my energy and my capacity and my joy and my sensuality. Like that thing, I needed to like clean it out and cut it off. And that was painful work. That kind of healing work was not cute. It is not cute. I had to do some of it again last year because my daughter was the age where some other things happen.

When Your Child’s Age Reopens Wounds

SPEAKER_00 29:04

And that's one thing that I want to name that I think is really profound, especially in motherhood, is that sometimes you, your kid will hit an age that you were where you experienced something or there was a lack of something. And sometimes you witnessing that in your child can trigger something in yourself. It can bring back memories, it can bring back sensations, it can bring back patterns, it can bring back sensory issues. Like you might start having emotional experiences or responses or reactions that don't make sense. You might all of a sudden feel like you're in a grief season when there's nothing new to grieve, and you're like, wait, this is old. I've done this work. And it's like, no, you haven't, not at this level, not at this age. Because at each different age, there's a different identity, there's a different pattern often in the relationship. This work with your own stuff often comes up when you start doing boundaries work with other people, with your parents, with your family. Because now you're not just healing the personal field, you're touching and interacting and having conflict with the family field, with what's gone on for generations and what's going on in yourself. And it is, it's not always cute, it's not always pretty, it's sometimes destabilizing, even when you are deeply resourced. And I think it's highly, highly important that you do not do that work alone, that you create a relational support through therapy, through coaching. And, you know, if you're in high, high levels of destabilization, it should be therapy, not coaching. I believe that strongly as a coach of like, if you are feeling destabilized in your entire life and your entire system, you need to be working with someone who is trained to handle that and hold that and look for warning signs and look for diagnostic things because like this shit is complicated and it can feel all-consuming. And one of the things that I loved about coaching for me is that there wasn't this deep digging because in therapy, I had done a lot of deep digging into my stuff. But what I loved about coaching is it was like we work with what's here and now and transform it and transmute it and alchemize it into something different. How do I take, okay, yes, it wasn't my fault that I got here, but what do I do now? Now that I know, now that I can feel it, can I change the way that I feel about this or the way that I carry it or the way that I relate to it? Can I heal those leaky boundaries that are costing my energy and my capacity for my kids? Can I build a nervous system that doesn't get so dysregulated or triggered by other people's emotions? Can I create a system that can handle more conflict or more boundaries? There are so many different levels to this. And all of it comes back to that emotional, somatic level of this is not just happening in your head. This is not just happening at a logical level. This is happening instinctually, it's happening unconsciously, which is why those tools, again, of presence and orienting and pendulation can

Metabolize Emotion With Music And Movement

SPEAKER_00 32:24

matter so much. And when you can't remember those things, when you are triggered, when you are spiraling, you are like a toddler having a fit. And if you've ever parented a toddler in the fit, that is not the time for teaching. That is not the time for lessons or for strategies. You need water, a cold glass, a hot glass, you need to get tea, you need to get a drink, you need to go lay down with a weighted blanket, you need to go for a walk, you need to go outside, you need to either change your location, you need to get some sort of movement in your body. And sometimes that movement is working with the thing or working to calm it down. So, like, let's say you're having a lot of aggression. Can you stomp your feet? Can you put on some music and like dance around a little bit, even if you don't feel like it? Or just put on some music. Like for me, and I don't want you to think of this as calming yourself down. Think of it as metabolizing the emotion because calming down is like shh, you're okay. When you're not okay and you need to acknowledge that you don't feel okay, put on some music. The thing that regulates me the most when I'm overstimulated or when I'm having high emotion is music. Sometimes you need grief music and you're gonna put on some Noah Khan and like have a sad girl summer and cry about it. By the way, I have the best playlists. I have a grief one, I have an anger one, I have like good mood playlist of just like, hey, you need to like energize yourself because you're a little low. Just think of it as like giving yourself energy, giving yourself care. It feels so simple and silly and easy, and that's because it is because you have to work with that toddler little animal who's freaking out and create a safe enough, safe enough where you can feel, oh, I really am okay. And then your adult brain, then your big girl brain can turn back on, and then you can parent, and then you can relax, react, and respond. But like honestly, so often you just need to pause, give yourself a break between responding. And this is even actually the first boundary you should ever practice with anyone, yourself or other people. Give yourself a pause. That doesn't mean a stop, that doesn't mean no contact. It just means when they call, pause before you answer. When they text, pause before you answer. When they say something rude, pause before you answer. Feel your backbone before responding, before reacting. Your kid is having a fit, pause. Slow down. Make a drink. Put on music. Is this urgent? Is this as urgent as it feels? Because so often it feels urgent. It is not urgent. It does not need immediate, drastic attention. It just is something happening and it's gonna be okay. So I

The First Boundary Is A Pause

SPEAKER_00 35:21

hope I hope this podcast gave you some practical kind of somatic information and tools just to like help you navigate this even a little bit more. If you are loving this series, again, I would love to hear from you your questions, your content, your context, if if it's supporting you in some way. I would love if you would leave a review, if you would send it to your friend, if you would interact with me on social media, maybe share it, send me a DM. I really want this to be a living relationship and like conversation. And, you know, it's it's new to me to be talking about this just myself in a teaching way, in a, because coaching is a very different energy. Coaching is a very different relational place. I want you to be able to feel into what is the right boundary. I want you to feel into like what is appropriate distance and the right response. I don't want to take a pretty bow and tie it on something that deserves this complex, messy, relational, active response. I think you're capable of that. I believe that's what a lot of women are looking for is someone to believe them and to teach them how to have this active, nuanced relationship to themselves and other people where they're in their values and in their integrity, and they don't have to lean on either hyper control or no control or full contact or no contact. You get to navigate what's working and not working in a way that honors you and your relationships and your roles and the season and the other people. So I hope to hear from you, and I'll see you in the next episode.