The Journey to Self-Love: Breaking Free from the 'Not Good Enough' Story

Ever caught yourself in the mirror and felt that familiar ache of 'I'm not good enough'? You're not alone. In this raw and heartfelt episode, I open up about my personal battles with self-doubt and share how I learned to embrace self-acceptance. We'll explore why feeling 'not enough' is a universal human experience and discover practical strategies to transform these thoughts into self-love. From navigating social media comparisons to building daily self-acceptance practices, this episode is your permission slip to be perfectly imperfect. Join me for an honest conversation that will remind you that you're not broken – you're beautifully human. 🦋✨

Apply for my VIP Session 15th March 10.30am AEST (1 spot remaining at the exclusive price of $55, usually $170). Apply Here

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to I Am Well podcast. I'm your host, Gemma, a nutritionist and a hormonal fasting coach, passionate about self development through a holistic lens. But my biggest mission is to help empower women and get them to reconnect and trust their bodies again. So if you're a woman who just wants to better herself and live her best life, you're listening to the right podcast.

So let's get to it.

Hello, welcome back to I am well podcast. I'm your host, Gemma, a nutritionist and women's functional hormone specialist. And I first off want to Let's start off with an apology to my regular listeners that may have noticed that we did miss a week of podcasting. And this was really interesting for myself, for like my self development it because I've been on this journey for quite a while now, [00:01:00] as I'm sure you all have as well.

If you're into self development and working on yourself and your nutrition and your hormones, then I'm sure you're, this is why you're listening to this podcast. But it was very interesting last week. I am getting into my luteal phase, so I will start there because I am a hormone specialist. So it makes sense when we start to get into our luteal phase, that very first part after ovulation, that very next, first day into your next phase, all of a sudden your hormones all crash.

So as a woman, Everything that is still there subconsciously, like the work, yes, you might have done a lot of work on yourself, but there's always work to be done. And if there's something still there in your subconscious, this is where it's going to come out. most predominantly in this stage of your cycle.

And it hit me hard. I will admit, it was the first day where all my hormones had dropped. [00:02:00] I take my basal level temp every morning. I have an aura ring that now. takes it for me so I don't have to do it manually myself with a thermometer. And so I knew my hormones had dropped. I could tell by all the things I track and all the things I do.

So thank God I do all that stuff so I could identify what was going on. Anyway, you're probably wondering why am I sharing this with you? Well, the fact of the matter is I created. I am well. I actually don't know if anyone knows why I came up with the name. I am well. I don't know if I've ever explained it, but I wanted it to be an affirmation that you have to say.

My actual big dream goal at the end of it all was to have a wellness center where it had signs up saying I am well. There would be a fitness area where it'd be, I am fit. You'd have the consultants, the nutritionists on board that would be, I am healthy. Just all these affirmations [00:03:00] everywhere.

So if you were saying you were going to the wellness center, you'd tell your friend, Oh yeah, I'm off to, I am well now. And subconsciously, You wouldn't realize that affirmation is doing something to you. It's actually saying I am well, I am good. So that's where I am well came about. And when I created this podcast, I was mostly focused on nutrition for women, fasting for women, and understanding a woman's hormonal cycle.

So that's what I wanted to teach with this, but. It's also, when you have a business, it's such a personal development growth and journey. Life is in general anyway, but any business owners listening to this, you'll know you go on such a rollercoaster, right? That if, you're, if you're, if you haven't healed your Childhood traumas, big traumas, little traumas.

 I'm not just saying the huge traumas here, like the little childhood traumas. If you haven't healed that inner child [00:04:00] of you, then this is where it pops out. This is where it's going to be most predominant. So anyway, last week, this is where it occurred for me. I have done so much work on healing this part of me that doesn't feel good enough, that doesn't feel smart enough, wise enough, just enough.

And I thought, I guess I thought Oh, I'm fine now. I don't ever need to go back to that, but we always do that was real, kind of immature way of thinking, of course, I'm always going to have to be working on that self. Because the thing is. I was pre programmed for that of I'm not good enough thinking since childhood.

And it really got me thinking about what we call self love. You know, loving yourself. And you see it plastered everywhere, all over social media. About, practice self love, self care, love [00:05:00] yourself. And I think sometimes because we see it so much advertised and put everywhere, we don't, we're not really taking the full, grasp of what people are trying to tell us or what we're trying to say to ourselves.

And I heard something the other day on a podcast, I don't know if anyone listens to Rob Dial's podcast, the Mindset Mentor, but he was talking about self love as a fact of like self acceptance. I resonate with that so much more than self love because saying, I want to love myself more or saying I need to practice more self love doesn't really resonate for me.

But saying that I want to accept myself, that resonated with me so much more. And I know there'll be people out there that. The same thing. You'll feel the same thing. I want to accept who I am. I want to accept the person I've become and I'm still becoming. [00:06:00] That's what, I, my end goal. That's my end goal.

And that's where I got stuck last week. And there's going to be weeks that we have these in life. All the time, no matter what you do, whether you have a business or not, you're always going to have sometimes where your past thoughts and feelings and past programs, they're coming out. And it's not about the reaction.

You know, it don't stress too much about the reaction to it. Don't stress about, Oh, I didn't get all the work done. I wanted to, and then punish myself for it and hate myself for it. It's not about. The actual reaction. It's about how long you can stay in the reaction and pull yourself out. Because I think that's where we get stuck.

We're always getting the most happiest person on the planet will still have a fear or something pop into their head, but [00:07:00] it's not about It's not about that they had that thought that popped into their head. It's about how long they stay in that state and how quickly they can pull themselves out.

And this is what I was like, yes, I'm coming on the podcast today. I'm talking about this because this is something that. with you for life in anything that you do. When we think about it, when we're babies and when we're kids, like I've got my five year old daughter, my three year old son.

And when I take them out and go to the shops and I watch them, Sometimes my daughter's like running up and down, back and forth. She has got so much energy, mind you. Like she, if anyone studies human design, she is a generator. She is non stop. And the thing is, and so in society today, that sort of behavior, the running around, the yelling, the screaming, even though they're having fun, it's still looked at as it's rude.

It's [00:08:00] abnormal. So we're made to feel like as parents, like we should pull our children in and say, come on, stop that behavior. And the children, they don't understand. They're like, Oh, my mom doesn't love me at the moment. She's trying to, , she's upset when I am like this and that's how they are.

That's their personality. That's them. And we're telling them to stop doing that. And then that's making them feel like that behavior then is bad, that they're bad. And it's just such a good reminder because that's where it all stems from. So I want you to think about, what was there in your childhood that you can remember where you were made to feel like you were a naughty child or what you were doing was wrong.

Because nine times out of ten That is coming up for you today. Last week. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I Was doing as much as I could. I am a mom. I also have a job. I also have my own business on the side I'm [00:09:00] also doing a joint business with another girl and my husband started a business.

Okay, that is That's massive to anyone else that is like looking outside in that's probably too much but I don't look at all the good that I've done and how far I've come. Instead, I'm like, what's the next thing? What else do I need to do? It's still not good enough. So there was times in my childhood where I can remember where no matter what I did, no matter how hard I worked, it still felt like it wasn't good enough.

And it would have been because I didn't get as much of the praise, maybe. I was looking for. I heard on the same podcast I was listening to that, children are reprimanded eight times more than they are praised. Um, I, what is it? Eight or [00:10:00] 18 times more than their praise. Something significant. I cannot remember the, the, statistics.

So you might have to look that one up, but. At the end of the day, what I'm trying to say is children get punished or get told they're bad more than they get told that they're loved or they're doing well. And this is something that I think back and I'm like, no, my, not that my parents were awful to me whatsoever.

Quite the opposite. They were amazing. still have great relationships with both my parents. This is just a thing. Like it's even what I'm realizing with my daughter. I do believe that there have been way more times that I've told her off than I've told her how well she's doing and that I love her each day.

And that's something that I just rem remembered for myself. So I just wanna make it clear. My parents were not like terrible to me. I did not have this awful childhood. But even, this is what I'm talking about, big trauma, little trauma, like this is a tiny little trauma. It's something that [00:11:00] has come up still to this day.

I still do things where I'm looking for praise. So what is it in your life that you are doing? Because of something from your childhood. Because I guarantee there will be many small little things. And what I want you to do is try to realize when things come up. Like I'm so, the best thing that I have done is on this business journey and self development journey is I've become so aware of everything.

I track my cycle, I track my feelings, I have that app on my phone, the health app that pops up that's, reminds me every couple of hours, like how are you feeling? And I mark down how I'm feeling. So I've got everything logged and I'm , very self aware. Yes, I had a very crap time last week and I was really down on myself that I didn't do a podcast episode, but I was so self aware and I'm like, I know what to do now to make [00:12:00] sure that this never happens again, and that I can always show up weekly for you guys.

So that's what I want you guys, for you, for you all. For everyone listening on this, I just want you to just become more aware as well. And not get down on yourself, because this whole episode is around self love, right? Or self acceptance, as I like to say better. So, let's stop hating on ourselves. And I'm telling me that too.

But I'm telling you all as well, stop hating on yourself. If you, maybe you didn't get something done last week that you wanted to do. Maybe, you're not at the point in your life where you thought you would be. Maybe you're not earning as much money as you want to be. Maybe you didn't get to go on that holiday that you wanted to go on.

 Maybe you can't afford, amazing dinners every week for your family. I don't know what it is, but why stop focusing on the negatives and what you didn't get and start thinking about all the [00:13:00] stuff you have got, or you have done, or you have achieved. Remember, it's coming back from your childhood. We were told how bad we were as children more times than we were told all the good things we have done and how amazing we are.

So do this activity, pull yourself up when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling sad, when you're feeling down and write it down, put it in your notes, get that health app to remind you on, I know like any iPhone does it, probably androids have some sort of app that does that too. Write down how you're feeling throughout the day.

And I don't want you to analyze it in that moment because it's not going to work. You have to come back to it when you're feeling in a better place. So wait. Until you're feeling better, and then go back, look at it, and I want you to pull something out of your childhood that relates to that. And that's where the subconscious work needs to be [00:14:00] done.

 I've worked with many mentors, all around subconscious healing, childhood healing, and let me tell you, It never stops ending. There are mentors that have been in this for 20 plus years and they're doing incredible work and they're making millions of money, billions of money like every year, but their work still needs to be done for them as well.

So I never want you to think Oh, I've done it once. This is a quick fix. Nothing is ever, nothing good enough in life is ever a quick fix. So yeah, that was a long explanation of what happened and why I didn't create a podcast episode last week. But as I said, this whole podcast, it's called I Am Well.

I'm gonna show up regardless of how I feel because I want you guys to be on the journey with me. Some of my most vulnerable episodes have gotten the best responses. [00:15:00] And I think it's because we, it's a relief to hear that someone else is going through , dare I say, a human experience. Remember guys, it's a human experience.

We are not always happy and joyful and on top of the world. This is a human experience and it needs to be felt and the more we push it away, the worse it gets. So sometimes it's just so nice to hear when other people are going through something. And it's not always people that are struggling for money or something like that.

 Some of the richest people in the world, in the world are also the unhappiest. So money, I want you to take that out of the equation and start practicing self acceptance. Accept where you are now. Accept where you want to go. Accept all the things that you've done up until this [00:16:00] point.

Because you would have done amazing things. But you just didn't take the time to acknowledge them. Instead, you've taken more of the time to acknowledge the things that you haven't done. And are punishing yourself for that. And you wouldn't do that for a friend or family member, would you? You wouldn't do that to your child, would you?

But you're doing it to yourself. Because you have such high expectations for yourself, which is insane. Get yourself someone that can be your accountability partner in this as well. Or someone that can lift you up in these times. I know if my husband listens to this episode, he would be like Oh my god, I tell you this all the time.

Where is this Gemma? Because he's the person that I call up and I go, Oh, this didn't work out. This launch didn't go well. This, these people, I just, [00:17:00] I'm not resonating with people. People aren't understanding like my mission. I'm not doing well enough. Like all of this stuff. And he'll be like, Jemma, you haven't even celebrated what you have done, the clients you have worked with, the people you have changed.

He's like, you've just had four people message you telling, telling you how inspirational you are to them. And instead you just didn't get that one person that. that to the sign up and that's the only thing you're focusing on then. And you know what happens with where we put our focus, then we forget about everything else around us.

So all the good that's happening around us, we forget about that. So if I'm just focusing on that one person that didn't sign up to our program, I'm forgetting about the other people that have. And then I'm ruining their experience, and I'm not giving them my full energy, my full attention, and that's where, what happens with the business.

That's why the business will go down. I'm not saying that this has [00:18:00] happened, personally, but, well, actually it has in the past. But I'm sure that, many people can resonate with this as well. And this is what you'll learn in business, in life and everything. If you're too busy focusing on what someone else has as well, like comparison, Oh, they've got this really nice car.

They've got this beautiful family. They've got this big house and you're not focusing on all the things that you've got. Like you've got an amazing job. You've got an amazing position. You're earning great money. You're able to travel and you're not focused on that. Then you're going to miss out on life, because you're going to get to the point where you do have the family, you do have the house, and then you're going to think back, Oh, I wish I had of appreciated my past self when they were travelling, and experiencing and enjoying life.

I wish I had of just lived in the moment a bit more then. We're always, it's so much easier to always look back and regret. Could you imagine looking back and thinking, that was fun? And I'm so happy with where I am now. Could you [00:19:00] imagine just being accepting of yourself? That's my goal. That's my mission.

And that's what I want for you all as well. I want it for me, but I want it for everyone. Imagine if we were all just accepting of ourselves and accepting of others and we lived in a world that was just, no judgment. Could you imagine? That would be insane! I'd love that. Everyone's fears about social media and joining on social media is because they're so worried about not being accepted, about being judged.

Imagine if we lived in a world where there was no judgment whatsoever. It wouldn't be the case. Everyone, could you imagine what people would do? People would, we would see sides of people that we'd never seen before that we would absolutely love. Because it's so amazing when you see someone doing something and being their authentic self.

That's when people get attracted to you. Show up as who you want to show up. Be the outgoing funny self. [00:20:00] Be that inner child. If you were told as a kid, you're too loud, you're too much, quiet down, then be that inner child now that you couldn't be back then., I promise you people will notice and they will love it.

Yes, you're gonna get those small percentage of haters, but that's the thing, because there's still judgment out there. And that's their protection of themselves onto you, okay? So do not worry about that, because the vast majority are gonna love it. Be yourself, be your authentic self. We love that, and we love that for you, and I love you, and I am full accepting of you.

And I hope you are of me too, I mean, that's why you're listening to me, right? So, this whole episode was just on self acceptance and I hope it resonates. If you liked this episode, please don't [00:21:00] forget to leave a rating or review. Also, I really encourage you to do that exercise. Make sure that you are jotting down when you're feeling down, when you're feeling anxious.

Also make sure, if you're a woman and you're tracking your cycle, that you are tracking where you're at in your cycle because it could most likely do with your hormones. I know that was what happened with me, as I explained. Also, in saying that, I have one free,

I have one VIP session left. If you want to work with me one to one, if you want to figure out why, your hormones are playing up. Maybe you're not getting the answers that you want. Maybe you've done all the blood tests and they all come back normal, but you still don't feel yourself. You're still not feeling right with your hormonal cycle.

I have one VIP session left on Saturday the 15th of March, Australian Eastern Standard Time at 10. 30am Brisbane [00:22:00] time. So, don't miss out. Fill out the application form in the shown links down below and I can help you get started on this healing journey. Because it's everything all in one, and sometimes you can see all the health practitioners in the world, but they just don't have the time to focus on every aspect in your life.

And that's where I come in. I'm a full hormone specialist, and a lifestyle coach, and a woman's health coach. So, I will be there for you every step of the way. So book in that session and we'll see what we can do. Okay? I love you all. I appreciate you all. Thank you for still listening. Even though we had a small break last week, I promise you, I will be more on top of it now.

And I accept myself for that last week. And I know after listening to this podcast, you will have accepted me for that as well and accepted yourselves. [00:23:00] So keep sending the love to everyone and bring the love back to yourself as well, because everyone deserves it. You all deserve it. Thanks for listening and I will talk to you all in the next episode.

Bye guys.