[Solo Episode] You Can’t Manifest from Survival Mode: Tips to Regulate Your Nervous System ✨🧘‍♀️

We’ve been taught that manifestation is about thinking positively, visualising harder and “raising our vibration” - but what if the real issue is that your nervous system doesn’t feel safe enough to receive the life you’re asking for?

In this solo episode, I’m diving into nervous system regulation, survival mode, emotional safety and the connection between stress, energy and manifestation.

I chat about the science behind dysregulation, why so many women are stuck in chronic fight-or-flight, how this impacts our ability to trust ourselves and move forward, and practical ways to begin regulating your body so you can feel calmer, clearer and more connected.

We cover:
 ✨ Fight, flight & freeze responses
 ✨ The “window of tolerance”
 ✨ Why survival mode blocks manifestation
 ✨ The link between stress, intuition & self-trust
 ✨ How overstimulation impacts the nervous system
 ✨ Practical tools to create more internal safety
 ✨ Learning how to receive support, rest, love & abundance

This episode is a reminder that healing isn’t about becoming someone new - it’s about creating enough safety within yourself to become more of who you already are.

Have a listen here, or watch the full video on YouTube here.

Thanks for tuning in today to The Can I Get a Refill? Podcast, and be sure to jump on my website (below) to download a free 33 page eBook on 7 Steps to Protect Your Energy & Fill Up Your Cup. 

You cannot pour from an empty cup, so I’ve designed a guide to help you take care of yourself, in order to uplevel your life. Download it today and make yourself a priority!

I hope you really love this episode! Thanks so much for pressing play and spending your incredibly valuable time with us.

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Enjoy xx 🎙️

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Jumping in here to talk directly to my Sydney friends about one of my absolute favourite cafes, Pilgrims Crenolla. Now located in their gorgeous new location opposite South Crenolla Park, with expanded indoor and outdoor seating, including pet-friendly tables out front, and delicious food, juice, and coffee. The menu is full of wholesome, veggio-friendly eats that feel both nostalgic and nourishing. Expect breckie wraps, vibrant salads, smoothies, fresh juices, and some of the best plant-based sandwiches going. I strongly recommend the corn fritters and the chai shake, which is definitely big enough for two. Check them out on Insta and be sure to visit when you're next in Crenola. I'm recording this episode on the lands of the Darawal people and pay my respects to their elders. As this is a digital platform, I also want to pay my respects to the traditional custodians of the lands on which you, our listeners, are based, and acknowledge that you are telling stories on these lands too. Welcome to Can I Get a Refill? A podcast for ambitious women who are tired of pouring from an empty cup, but still want to grow, evolve, and build a life they're proud of. Through a mix of comforting solo episodes and inspiring conversations with industry professionals, authors, wellness experts, and entrepreneurs, we talk about what it really looks like to refill your cup while up-leveling your life. Topics include mental, emotional, and physical wellness, hormonal health, manifestation, career and finance, boundaries, self-trust, and redefining success on your own terms. Hosted by me, Steph Bruno Newton, each weekly episode is designed to motivate, ground, and empower you to take care of your needs and go after the life you actually want. Pour yourself a cup, take a breath, and let's refill it together. Hello, my cup fillers, and welcome back to the Can I Get a Refill Podcast. If you're new here, I'm Steph. I'm your host, and I help women stop pouring from an empty cup and start building a life that actually supports them. If that's something that you're interested in, you should hit subscribe and stick around. I also recommend jumping on the website www.can I Get a Reefill Podcast.com.au, linked below to download your free ebook on seven steps to protect your energy and fill up your cup. Because every area of your life comes back to the relationship you have with yourself. So make sure it's a very strong one. Download it today and make yourself your number one priority. Okay, now let's jump into the episode. Today is a solo episode at home. If you think I sound slightly more quiet than usual, it's because I'm recording for the very first time with my son napping in that bedroom, just in the back there with a towel under the door. He's meant to be in daycare today. This is my recording day, but he had the sniffles this morning, so I thought I'd better do the appropriate thing and keep him home so he doesn't make everyone else sick. So I'm attempting this. So we'll see how the episode goes. You might see him running around the back any minute now. Today we're talking about a regulated nervous system and my tips on how to regulate your nervous system. But it's in relation to manifestation, you know that's my favorite topic to discuss and something that has a lot of circulation online in recent times, and something that I have discovered personally is you cannot manifest your desires from survival mode. So many of us, so many women, especially, mothers especially, are running around in survival mode. So let's tackle some ways we can regulate that nervous system to pull ourselves out of survival mode and into receiving mode, which is the perfect energetic match for your manifestation desires. I think a lot of us have misunderstood manifestation a little bit. A lot of the times we're told to vision board harder or visualize, think more positively and raise your vibration. And whilst all these have their place in manifestation, that's for sure, but nobody really talks about the fact that your body cannot receive what your nervous system deems as danger or a threat. I often reference that the ego and the nervous system's job is to keep you safe. It is absolutely vital, or would be jumping off bridges all the time, we'd be getting behind the wheel drunk, we'd be doing stupid things. So it it is protection that is needed. But you often hear people reference the saber-toothed tiger. It's very overused biologically and evolutionary. Your body doesn't know the difference between a work deadline and a saber-toothed tiger. You will not die from a work deadline, from missing a work deadline, but you would if a saber-toothed tiger is behind you. But your nervous system is deeming that as the same threat. Now, this is why I often refer, I'm going to get into my tips, but movement is one of those that's really underrated. Because if you're sitting at your desk and you're having that adrenaline and you're not running like your body's saying, run from the saber-toothed tiger, but you're sitting, it's building up and building up and building up inside your body. So that's why shaking things off. I always say you see ducks shaking off after they have a fight with someone. It's getting rid of that energy out of your body. Go for a walk around the block. Pretend you're going to get yourself a coffee, but don't, because if you're stressed, that's only gonna spike your cortisol. The aim is to do things that feel good for the body and get that energy out of your body. So a lot of us, and as I said, women especially and mothers especially, we're in almost like a stress addiction. We're living in fight or flight. We're constantly doing instead of being. And that's why one of my solo episodes was about getting into the into your divine feminine energy. The feminine energy, it's not about being female. That's the being energy, that's the receiving energy. Perfect to bring in those manifestations. The masculine energy is the doing, that's the attacking, that's the going after things. Yes, it has its place. You cannot live in it 24-7. So you need to be able to settle back into that feminine energy and that receiving mode and the being mode. And there is no doubt that women have more dysregulated nervous systems. Mind you, I was just in Priceline pharmacy, and I saw this young, like fit, confident-looking dude, and he had two items in his hand, and they were both the rescue remedy. One was the spray, one was the lollies. I felt like giving him a big hug because you don't know, you don't know how stressed people are and how they bottle it inside. I used to think my husband was the chillest person in the world. And then once I caught him standing outside hot checking his pulse, because he he he bottles it in. So I wanted to get that guy a hug so much. But as women, we have so many different people coming to us and relying on us and so many different areas of life that we're undertaking. And if you relate that to mine and my husband's relationship, I left the nine to five job a year ago. I'm doing my business, I'm doing his business, but it's not, I I do one day a week sales for his company, but it's not that regular income that I was getting. Absolutely so happy with my choice. Can never, I will never, please, dear lord, never go back to working for someone else. This has been the best year of my life. But he is the sole breadwinner at the moment, whilst I'm building my business, because his has been going for about seven years, I think. So his is at a stage where it's able to keep our family afloat financially. And he is out all the time. He's phone buzzes all the time. He's, I don't, I don't know how he does it. He'll advertise a job and 90 people have applied for it. He's got no HR, he's doing all of that. He is the go-to for everything. He has tunnel vision for that job. He just does that job. He has barely parented in the last four days. I've been doing the days and the nights, and that's why not having my son in daycare today is really tricky for me because I've been doing every day and every night. But I I tell him, Don't worry about stuffy. You do that. So you gotta think that leaves for the woman all the housework and with a kid. It is multiple loads of laundry, it is dishes, it is, I try to home cook everything at the moment. I'm making the best jelly in the world is just apple juice with gelatin and it tastes so good. But I'm like constantly cooking in the kitchen to make sure my son doesn't have food with additives and preservatives. So I'm you know, whole foods, home cooked meals. So nearly all of the cooking now, and that used to be my husband used to do all of the cooking, tidying the house with a toddler, you are tidying 24-7. Most of the parenting is me. Talking to real estate agents for investment property, talking to daycare, all the life admin, me podcasting, me doing socials, me doing work for my husband. That I'm wearing seven to ten hats. My husband's wearing one. So his job is far more taxing, but his focus is on one thing. Mine's on a hundred different things. My nervous system is constantly getting dysregulated until I pull it back into focus. Women absolutely as a whole have more on their plate. So it's absolutely no wonder the dysregulated nervous systems is spoken about more in the female community. What I have found with survival mode is that it really blocks clarity. It 100% blocks creativity, it blocks intuition and aligned action. And a dysregulated nervous system could be from something like a bad night's sleep. My son was sleeping really well. As soon as he gets a blocked nose, because he's still sleeping with a dummy, he just does not sleep. Last night was the most horrendous sleep I've had. I had a wonderful 9 a.m. podcast recording booked in with a US guest that I was so looking forward to. Had to cancel it, not only because I probably had about three hours sleep, but also because I had to keep my son home because he couldn't go to daycare. So and he's awake at that time, and there's no way I can record during that time. So I felt anxious today. I haven't felt anxious in so long. But a lack of sleep is causing a dysregulated nervous system. But there's also that element of having grace with yourself and knowing you haven't failed, you didn't do something wrong, I didn't do a poor night routine and a poor morning routine. This is circumstantial. I am a mama of a toddler. This stuff's going to arise. So having that compassion and grace with yourself is really, really vital. And then reaching out. So, you know, if your child's having a regular bad sleep, can you talk to Tresillion or a sleep consultant? If your child's not in daycare but they're of that age, can you talk to the government, figure out what your rebate might be to make it more affordable? Then look at what daycare centers in your area are available. If you just need a moment, I said to my neighbor the other day, hey, your son's so great with me. You need some time to go get your nails done, your hair done, let me know. I can take him. She's like, Yeah, likewise. I said, yes. Great. My husband and I want to go to a movie. And she's like, bring him over. And if I'm really struggling, she's literally in the same building. Kids are about a year or apart. We get on so great. I am gonna reach out and say, I need to lay on my floor into a yoga nidra. Can you take Leo for a minute? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. She would be delighted to. The kids will get on well. She doesn't have to do anything because they'll play with each other. But the blocking of clarity and creativity is so spot on. It's like, I always feel like every little bit of energy you're using is just to survive. So, like, how can you have spare energy to think of something creative? You cannot. You cannot do it with a with a poor sleep. And you can't do it if you're in toxic relationships, whether that be with work, colleagues, family, friends. If you're in the midst of something like that, it's like all your energy is going to projecting that bad energy coming at you. I can't create in that. I don't know about you, but I cannot create in that. I have had my most creative, most abundant and joyous year this year because I've removed the things that were absolutely blocking me. Aside from the lack of sleep, that's just the season of life I'm in. I did a wonderful episode that I think will come out after this with a finance expert, Caitlin Bath, who, oh my God, one of my favorite interviews I've recorded. She was just a dream. And she referenced in in relation to finances, so that dysregulated nervous system comes up in every area. I can't say it verbatim, but she said something like, and I said, Can I steal that for my solo episode? She said, Absolutely, she doesn't gatekeep. Dysregulated nervous system thinks only in terms of the imminent, the now, because it's surviving. That's what survival is. All your energy goes into that. And a regulated nervous system thinks in terms of the future. Something, something like that. You're when you hear the episode, you'll hear exactly how she said it. That clicked such a light bulb for me. Because when I am in survo survival, I can't make plans. I can't think about planning my son's birthday party or doing anything because I'm just trying to get through what I'm getting through. You are too valuable, too beautiful, talented, and important to live a life where you're just trying to make it through. That's fucked. Don't do it. Don't allow that for yourself. Expect more. Demand more. Remember that your energetic field becomes polluted when your body is chronically stressed. So let's touch on what a dysregulated nervous system looks like day to day. So doom scrolling is probably your number one. So you have the power. Look, there's been a lot of things come up this week. There's been helicopter crashes, shark attacks. There's always gonna be things in the world that are tragic, but you don't need to know about them all the time. Your body wasn't wired to consume all of that all the time. And that's why you feel different from the 90s. Yes, the music was better. Yes, the TV and movies were way better. Fashion was fun. The difference was that you weren't exposed to all forms of entertainment and media and news 24-7. You'd get little bits of it. And even when think about when Facebook first came in. I remember going on my laptop in the morning. I'd eat my cereal, look at it, then I'd look at Lady Gaga uh music videos on YouTube, then I'd go to work. Then I wouldn't look at it until the night. You're looking at it all day. You're looking at it all day now. Every I don't know about you, but every time you go to the toilet, every time you you stop, every time you're waiting for the microwave, your bus, your train, your body wasn't wired for that. It's it's too much. It's overkill, and that's why you feel overwhelmed. It can look really different for lots of people. It can look like fight, flight, or freeze, depending on what the circumstance is. It can look like complete shutdown if you're so chronically stressed and burnt out. Have you ever had that time where you just fall backwards on your bed and stare at the ceiling and you can't even watch TV? That you are so burnt out at that point. I often reference to even when you've had a day at work and you drive home and you you don't go up and you don't even play music, you just sit in the car because you just need a moment. That's burnout. That is burnout. Hyperindependence can be a sign of a dysregulated nervous system. So we often talk about the village and the community. You don't have to feel like you've failed by reaching out for help. That's that's why we are here together. We're meant to lean on each other. I think perhaps it's it's very glorified, the superwoman image. You are phenomenal, but we are human and we can't do it all all of the time. Even computers reboot, restart, shut down. So reach out when you need help. For some people, emotional numbness is a sign of a dysregulated nervous system. It's sort of that in line with that shutting down, really, or not being able to connect with people or staring at your phone rather than communicating with those around you. It's a survival mechanism. Inability to rest comes up so much with my guests and how we're all, you know, high performing, high, high achieving women. And the the go, go, go, do, do, do. It's just become that normal comfort state that when we stop, it's it's really, it's really hard. It can feel really uncomfortable, but it shouldn't. That that's the norm for the body. Overthinking is huge. You hear a lot too about, especially women with parametopause, you get that insomnia with that flush of cortisol around between 1 and 3 a.m., I think it is. The overthinking can keep you up at night. The overthinking, the overthinking is what drains you. And that's why we talk about mental fatigue a lot with women because we're the planners and men aren't planning ahead of so-and-so's birthday party. I've got to get that present, I've got to buy the gift bag, I've got to buy the card, I've got to RSVP to the invitation. They're just they're throwing on their pants and getting in the car and showing up. We're doing all of that. Feeling wired but exhausted, that wired and tired feeling. Even my husband and I have said that the last few days, we're feeling wired but tired. And it's because we're waiting for our son to wake up and cry, wake up and cry. It's just, it's been tough. The sleep thing has affected it a lot. So if you're not getting that quality sleep, you're definitely wired and tired. And that, you know, you always have the hardest sleeps when you have a lot to do the next day because you're thinking, I gotta, I gotta get up and do this. When you have nothing on the next day, or if you're on holidays and you're just gonna lay on the beach the next day, you fall asleep with ease, always. So I want to talk about the concept of the window of tolerance. There's an optimal emotional zone where we can think clearly, process emotions, and respond calmly to life. Outside that window is hyper-arousal, which can look like anxiousness, reactivity, and overwhelm. It can also look like hypoarousal, which is numbness, feeling disconnected, and shutting down. The window of tolerance concept comes from psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and is commonly used alongside the polyvagal theory. Dr. Stephen Porgiel's polyvagal theory basically explains how your nervous system acts as an internal radar, constantly scanning for safety or threat. You may have heard of people talk about the vagus nerve, which you can work on through things like gargling, humming, singing. It's the body's longest nerve which connects the brain to other major organs, like your heart and your gut, which we know are very affected by emotions. Okay, for the juicy stuff, let's talk about why a dysregulated nervous system is blocking your manifestation desires from coming true. Your brain filters reality based on what it believes is important and safe. So let's blend the spiritual with the neuroscience together. Being in survival mode will always make you focus on lack, scarcity, and what's not working. As I said, it's part of the nervous system and the ego to protect you from having that happen again. But what we know energetically is that like attracts like. And when you're in that mode, the universe recognizes this girl likes fear and scarcity. I'm gonna send her more of that. The universe isn't a person up there thinking, you know what, you're a good person. You deserve a break. It doesn't work like that. It's it's completely impartial. It's just going with energy of like attracts like. And there's so many times where things will go wrong. And I definitely get down into that. And I'm like, you know what? Just as an experiment, I'm gonna go the next seven days with forcing myself out of it and actively catching myself and forcing not a false positive, it's not a toxic positive, but moving into what is working well. And that's where, hey, gratitude's huge. Because when you start thinking what's going right, you notice so many things. And believe me, if you're in the position where you can listen to me right now, there is a lot more going right in your life than going wrong. Jumping in with another message for my Sydney friends. If you're a pizza lover, you absolutely need to head out to Crenella and visit my friends at Queen Margarita of Savoy for traditional Neapolitan pizza and other Italian classic dishes. With my Sicilian background, you know that I've travelled to Italy many times over the years. I've eaten pizza all over Italy, including in Naples, and I swear to everyone I meet that Queen Margarita is still my absolute fave. I like simple classic flavours, so I highly recommend the traditional margarita and the three cheese pizza. Abby loves the prosciutto and the pork and fennel. I also have a soft spot for the Travel Orangini. Check them out at SurfRoad Cranola and the link in my show notes. You definitely will not be disappointed. You would have heard me reference in previous episodes the RAS, the reticular activating system. This RAS is a bundle of nerves located on the brainstem. It tunes our attention, regulates behavior, and drives motivation. Think of it as the brain's biological spam filter. It's constantly scanning and it filters millions of sensory input daily, bringing only what aligns with your core beliefs and goals into conscious awareness. So, what does that mean for you with manifestation? If you're focusing on the lack, if you're focusing that that's too hard, I can't do that, money doesn't come to people like me. The universe is going to affirm that and your reticular activating system is going to scan for proof to deliver that to you. Everything in life is like a game. Think of it like you're a player in a game. You need to play games and trick your mind. You need to play games back. You need to force yourself into focusing on the good and what's going right. And people can label this as toxic positivity, but it's not. It's survival. It's you're pulling yourself out of a slump and urging yourself towards what's better. Honestly, that's saving yourself. And believe me, when you are burnt out and anxious, your brain looks for more proof that life is hard. You know that everything feels harder on the days where you've had less sleep. It's the same thing. It's the same thing as feeling burnt out and stressed and anxious. And on the other end of the spectrum, when you feel safe, when you feel grounded, when you feel emotionally regulated, your brain becomes more open to opportunities, ideas, creativity, and connection. Have you ever noticed that people piss you off way less when you regulated nervous system or are well rested or not as stressed? That's not a coincidence. It's like your tolerance for things is much higher. It is such a better way to live. So the RAS is always filtering information. You will notice what you repeatedly focus on. You're going to notice that more. You're thinking about bills, you're thinking about lack, you're thinking about debt, you're going to see a hell of a lot more of it. And emotionally charged thoughts reinforce neural pathways. Something like debt will bring up a lot of fear, a lot of shame. They are strong emotions. So that feeling is going to be far more reinforced because of the emotion behind it. So that's why you might hear, I've referenced this before, when I'm actively working on a manifestation, saying affirmations shouldn't be like Bart Simpson writing the lines on the chalkboard. It's about the emotion behind it. So when I talk about visualizing it, picture your bare feet walking on the beautiful wooden floors of your forever home or your hand on the steering wheel of your dream car. Really feel it. And when you feel it and put yourself, your body in that emotions arise. How do you feel? And this is another reason why I talk about don't just focus on the what you want. You want 100 grand, you want 100 grand months. Focus on the why. Why do you want that? What will that bring? Will it bring safety, security? Focus on those emotions. And that goes the other way. When you're focusing on the bad emotions, that's just driving you further into a dysregulated nervous system. The RAS is always acting as a filtering system for attention and awareness. I often say that I believe in magic. I've always been that kind of girl. I have the word believe tattooed on me. I've, you know, always, always believe that magical things can happen to me. And my bestie always calls me magical when big coincidences and things like that pop up. But manifestation isn't necessarily magic. So it's not for the, if you're more a pragmatic person and a scientific thinker and not a woo-woo person, it doesn't mean that manifestation isn't for you. I think part of manifestation is biological. Your nervous system influences what you notice, what you believe is possible, how you behave, and what you're emotionally available to receive. If you're looking to manifest desires into your life, the most important thing to remember is that a dysregulated nervous system struggles to trust. And manifestation requires trust. So as I touched on, it's far more common for women to have a dysregulated nervous system, not just because we have more in our plate, but because we were brought up in that patriarchal society and still the younger generation, there's still an element of that where it's so much more is expected of us alongside of what we do. It's expected to be done with a smile on your face and making people feel comfortable and being that people pleaser, being praised for burnout. I said that in a recent episode with Rocky Swales, a yoga therapist, that where we wear that burnout as a badge of honor because we are praised. You did a good job. You're a good girl. It's that good girl conditioning of you need to always be of service to others. And service is important, but not at the cost of yourself. Not only is it okay to put yourself first, I think it's vital. I do it all the time, even over my son, who literally relies on me for survival. Because everything will be just shot to shit when I burn out. So I must. My number one job is keeping this ship going. And the the concept of earning rest, oh man, we all do it. Men and women alike, but you know, I'm talking from the peanut female perspective of I always feel like I gotta earn that rest. I gotta do this to it. No one's saying it to me. It's in it's in my mind that I need to have been super productive to be able to sit and do something. It's just not the case. It regular rest is absolutely necessary for your body, your mind, your emotions, and your manifestations. The scariest thing is that many women don't even realize they're dysregulated because survival modes become part of their personality. I always used to hear in workplaces of, yeah, people just wearing a badge of honor, like, oh, I did this many hours of overtime, I did this, I've only had this much sleep, and that's terrible. Your employer should be ashamed because they've clearly given too much work for you to do on your own if you need to be working all those extra hours to get it done. Or you're not productive enough in the hours that you do have. It's it's not a thing to praise that burnout. It's it's it means you've neglected yourself somewhere along the line. Don't neglect yourself. We're in the era where women are supporting each other now, and we're gonna praise each other when we put up those boundaries and say, I'm taking a step back. I'm taking a rest. I need this. Okay, grab out the pen and paper. Let's talk, oh, you don't have to. You not zap, or you can just remember. Let's talk some practical ways to actually regulate your nervous system. But the most important thing that I want you to remember is that regulation isn't one big moment. You don't have to spend a thousand dollars and go away to a spa weekend or a yoga retreat and you're regulated. It doesn't work like that. It's small signs of safety repeated consistently. Number one, this is in the free ebook I always tell you to download at the beginning of every episode, is to assess your relationships or your circumstances regularly. We're all on that hamster wheel where we're go, go, go, go, going. And it's not until you stop and reflect, you know, like if you're ever, I like to go watch the full moon rise over the water because I'm in the east, so I can watch it rise over the water. And when you stop, play a little Stevie Nicks and sit in nature, you can reflect on things. When you're go, go, go, go, going, kids' TV's going in the background, coffee machines making noise, the washer, the dryer, you're not reflecting. You're in hustle. When something really isn't working in your life, sit down and look. What is the main culprit? I guarantee you there's always one main one and a lots of lots of little things that are giving you the domino effect. Do you have a relationship in your life where someone is absolutely giving you grief over and over again? Is it a boss? Is it work colleagues? Is it a roommate? Is it a family member? Is it a toxic friend? There are definitely people. There have been people in my life. They might have meant well, they might have meant very well, and they think they're doing things from love, and they have been killing me bit by bit by bit. Okay, sorry. For you, no time has passed, but for me, about 20 minutes has passed. Son woke up, husband came home, got him fed, changed, husband's taking him out. So I can raise my voice now and talk comfortably. Can't remember exactly the very last point I was talking about, but we are talking about assessing the relationships and the situations you're in. You can say all the affirmations you want, you can do all the yoga nidras and meditations you want. If you are around an environment that is sucking your soul and your energy, you will not succeed. And you definitely will not manifest your desires because it's not the words you're saying, it's not the pictures you put on your vision board, it's the energy that you're projecting out to the world. And that stress will impact your energy greatly. So look around your environment, what's not working. Number two is to slow down your inputs. Look at the overstimulation, look at the coffee, look at the million things you're doing in the morning, look at the social media, look how much you're scrolling, how much you're online, look at the constant noise. I hate when I walk into someone's house and it's like music, I'm so easily overstimulated. Music's going, TV's going, machines are going, dogs barking, kids are screaming. I'm like, I struggle to catch my breath in those environments. Which is probably why I waited so long to have kids. Multitasking. Multitasking is huge. And nervous system fatigue. Your body was never designed to consume 500 people's opinions before breakfast. When you were growing up in school, you'd see your mom, you'd see your dad, you'd see your sibling and your dog until you got to school. It was a slow morning. You had some music on, you got you did a little bit of makeup, you got yourself ready, and now we are consuming tragedies. This is why I stopped watching the news. I cannot. I it is not a lack of compassion. I can't do anything about someone who's fallen out of an airplane sky jumping or being bitten by a shark or a helicopter crash. It is so tragic. What am I gonna do about it after it's done? I can't, I can't do anything. That's it, that's a tragedy. So why am I consuming all of this? And I'm not saying block your ears to the atrocities that are happening in the world. They are important to speak on, but you can't be consuming it 24-7. You you can create yourself windows where I'm gonna dedicate this time to learn what's happening in the world. Don't do it 24-7. You will burn out, you will fatigue. Think about your favorite thing that you like to eat. We like Messina gelato on the weekend. My husband likes a good pizza. I like grilled burgers, but they're pretty healthy. But think about gelato. You're having two, three scoops max, right? I like three. My husband thinks two is plenty out. I like, I need three different flavors. As good as that lovely gelato is and high quality, if you were eating a bathtub full of it, you would feel physically ill. What works better is small amounts once in a while. It makes you love it, it makes you crave it, and your body feels good when it receives that small amount. But if you were having a bucket full of gelato every day, you'd probably have diabetes and you'd probably be feeling really nauseous. And you would definitely not fit into your clothes. Number three, my very favorite, is regulate the body, not just the mind. As I touched on earlier, movement, movement, movement, which is why we're all so stressed out when we're sitting in those aeroplanes and everyone jumps up as soon as they say it's time to leave and no one can get out. Walk in nature and definitely do it at least once or twice a week without headphones. Just really look at the trees, listen to the birds. Breath work is fantastic. You can look up techniques on YouTube for anything. I'll try and link some things in the show notes. Stretching, yoga. I do boho beautiful meditation and yoga on YouTube. 10, 15 minutes, completely free. Now, cold exposure, I know a lot of people say this is good. As a woman who's going through hormonal issues, for me, that's not the right thing. So infrared sauna, great. The hot cold doesn't work for me. Shaking out, I do those um the sort of Chinese lymphatic drainage movements. They keep coming up on my algorithm. All these different videos have obviously liked one. They feel fantastic. I start them every day. I start my day every day doing those, either before a workout or if I'm doing back-to-back recordings and not podcasting, I'll do them in between, like every hour. Dancing, my son and I do dance parties in the living room in the evening, and they are fantastic. It helps him. What did they say at the library to get the crazies out? Because he has that big burst of energy after dinner. So we need to get the crazies out for him and the crazies out for me, which is really high cortisol. Singing and humming is fantastic. That's for the vegas nerve. Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight, sunlight, especially first thing in the morning. That's kicking in your circadian rhythms. That helps you fall asleep at night. And sleep. My friends, practice that sleep hygiene an hour before bed, no screen time. Have some lavender oils. I used to put a little lavender, take a little piece of lavender plant and put it under my pillow. I like uh herbal things to help me sleep. I like Wonderlust, uh, soulful sleep. Chemist Warehouse, not expensive. I have great sleeps on those. Magnesium, nice tea before bed. If anything's bothering you, having a little notebook next to bed and just jotting your thoughts out before bed, just getting it out of your head and onto paper, that can help. Likewise, sort of planning my day the next day, that helps me feel like it's not all in my head. I've got structure. So when I wake up, I don't have to think. I've got it written already. Beautiful meditation before bed can always work. Yoga nidra is fantastic. There are 10 or 15 minute ones, but I find yoga nidra I need a little bit longer. It feels a bit rushed. And lying down and elevating your feet up the wall or on the bedhead, that is really great to regulate your nervous system for a good night's sleep. There's always lots of little different things you can do for sleep hygiene, but definitely prioritize your sleep. And if I want to be asleep by like nine, which I know sounds so ridiculous, but I'm a toddler mum. I used to get asleep at 11. Going asleep at nine is great for me because I will wake up between four and five on a good day. So I have to plan start doing the night routine at eight because it takes me a full hour because I have a real lengthy night routine. I don't like to rush because I'm tired at night. So if I need to be in bed by nine, I need to start having my shower at eight. Okay, number four is learning to feel safe receiving. I touch on this in my feminine energy episode. So this can be as simple as receiving compliments. I know a lot of women will be like, oh, this old thing, I got it on sale. Practice saying thank you. A compliment is a gift. They want you to have it, accept it. Receiving support, that can be very hard. If people are offering the support, they probably really want to give it to you. Say yes. If it doesn't work out, you don't have to do it the next time, but it creates a lovely community and you will enjoy that time to yourself. Receiving rest, receiving love, receiving money. It's all energetic and it's all flowing all the time. Take it. The the universe is sending it to you, not that person. Say yes. That will open up the floodgates to receive so much more in your life. It's funny how a lot of people say they want abundance, but their nervous system associates receiving with danger. Then it was a real big thing when I was growing up of you never wanted to accept anything from a man because it meant you owed him something. And I get that, but again, that's that hyper-independence. And I remember sex in the city. And when you get older, you realize Samantha was very wise and she's like, ah, sex, money, whatever. It's it's uh, they've got it, you need it, whatever. Like she was happy to say yes and receive things. And she was very independent and very successful. So yeah, I guess it depends on who it's coming from. If someone's giving you something and making you feel like you owe them, they're probably not the right person. But you're never gonna receive from the universe if you're putting up a block of I can't receive things. I used to do a lovely um uh sort of meditation thing where I would stroke down my neck and say it was a Louise Hay thing and say, I am open to receiving. I am removing the blocks and open to receiving. There's something about touching your throat. There's something very uh sensitive there. So try practicing that. That really worked for me. And again, being in the feminine is about receivable. So allow yourself to receive. Number five is to create more stillness. Now, I often reference that when I was a, I will go back to it, a singer, songwriter, I always used to come up with my best ideas in the shower or on a long walk because it was the only time when there was stillness and silence. And then somewhere along the line, I got into this whole thing of constantly having shows or musical vlogs running on my phone, even in the shower. It is constant noise. And when I went to my baby moon and there was no reception whatsoever down in Jerengong, this beautiful Airbnb with cows and everything, and there was nothing, and there was stillness, and I was more regulated in my nervous system than I have ever been in my life. And we do board games and everything, and cooking, dinner, and drinking wine, and it was so restful for the soul. That a little bit of quiet and stillness, that's where your genius comes from. That's where your creativity comes from. So I, you know, it is sad when you always see people flip the phone out the second they're waiting for something, you know, in the doctor's area. Well, that is super, super boring, but you know, on trains or getting their nails done. And I always used to say when I got my nails done, I would purposely not pull my phone out, not only because I was worried it would fall in that water where your feet were, but also I loved people watching. That was my time to not think, to not work, for someone to to pamper me. And I would just look out the window and just people watch. It was so restful. But that's where your genius is. So don't shut that off with constant entertainment. In the stillness is where your intuition lives, your clarity, your ideas, and your creativity. So tap into it as often as you can, regularly. Try once a day. Your deepest wisdom usually doesn't scream over chaos. It's those quiet nudges. Boredom isn't the worst thing in the world. So allow yourself to be bored every now and then. So those are your five points. Work on them, re-listen to it or take notes, whatever you need to do. Just remember that your manifestation journey isn't about forcing. It's never about forcing. It's always about allowing. That it's definitely about becoming emotionally available for the life you say that you want. Picture the you in the future. What does she look like? How does she stand? How does she speak? How does she breathe? Because my future self is always so calm and not rushed. So, what can we do now to get closer to that version of ourselves? I did a wonderful episode that today, when I'm recording this, it's just gone live with Lisa Woodruff from Organised 365 about organization. And she was the loveliest person to speak to. And she said this line that plays over and over in my mind, her husband says, Oh, you don't judge anybody. She said, No, I especially don't judge myself. And she said she stopped judging people, and that allowed her to have grace with people. She figured that she was doing the very best she could at any moment, and she just figured that everyone else was doing the same. That removing judgment, but especially from yourself, will absolutely get you closer to that regulated nervous system. And like I said, I had a very different day planned for today. I imagined I got into bed early. I pictured a very decent night's sleep. I had a terrible night's sleep. I pictured waking up early. I haven't even opened my diary because I didn't want to see all the things I couldn't tick off of the meditation, the yoga, the reading, the replying to podcast emails, the recording the American guest at 9 a.m. I didn't do any of that. But it's not my fault. I didn't fail. I didn't have a poor bedtime routine. I have a toddler. And sometimes they shake things up a little bit for you. I give myself grace and I know that I'm doing the very best I can. And I often say that if you're running at 40% and you give things 40%, that's your 100%. I'm giving it 100% if I'm only running at 40%. And sometimes if the only thing you manage to tick off your list today was survive and exist, that's okay too. There is always tomorrow. Have compassion with yourself, always. You're doing a really, really good job. Remember that nervous system regulation is a regular practice. It's those micro steps every day, every day. It's not one big thing. If you fall off, it's like, you know, those diets used to do. If you have one bad day, if you ate a Snickers, don't worry. There's always tomorrow. You can always start with lemon water in the morning. It's not going to change your whole body type by having one binge day or one failed day. And it's the same with your goals, it's the same with your practices. Little micro steps leading towards the desired state. And you're not behind. You are not behind. Remove that rush, remove the comparison. So many people start so late in their life with successful ventures. So go easy on yourself. Thank you for being here today, my friends. That was a fun little episode. I enjoyed so much. If you think this will benefit someone, please share it. If you're watching on YouTube and you're not subscribed, please hit the subscribe button. If you're listening on Apple or Spotify, if you like this or any of my episodes, please follow. And you can rate and review as well if you'd like. Take some time for yourself in the next week to fill up your cup. And I look forward to catching you in the next episode. Thank you again for being here today. I hope that this episode brought some value to you. I look forward to your company in the next episode, and please connect with me on socials to keep this love fest going. Feel free to DM me with any questions at all. And if you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing it with a loved one or in your Insta stories. 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