027 - Feeling stuck in midlife: Finding Passion and Purpose with Margaret De-Petro

This week I’m joined by the wonderful Margaret De-Petro - psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, NLP coach and spiritual guide. Margaret has such a powerful way of helping women reframe midlife, not as the end of something, but the beginning of a completely new chapter.

In our conversation we talk about how to step into your wisdom, move beyond the feeling of being invisible, and find the courage to create the life you really want. Margaret also shares her perspective on food, energy, and nourishment, and why self-care at this stage is so much more than bubble baths and candles.

She leaves us with two really practical pieces of advice you can start using today if you’re feeling stuck or unsure of your next steps.

If you’re ready to connect with your own midlife goddess energy, this episode is full of inspiration and encouragement.

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Transcript

Welcome back to How to Feel Like a Midlife Goddess. I'm Amanda Rider, registered nutritional therapist and women's health guide and this is a space where we talk all things food, hormones, mindset and lifestyle so you can feel vibrant, confident and absolutely fabulous in midlife and beyond. Today I'm joined by the wonderful Margaret De-Petro, a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, NLP coach and spiritual guide who supports people through life's transitions.

Margaret has such a powerful way of helping women reframe midlife as not the end of something but the beginning of an entirely new chapter, even a whole new epoch. In our conversation we explore today how to step into your wisdom, find the courage to try new things and move beyond the feeling of being invisible. Margaret also shares her unique perspective on nourishment and self-care through an energetic lens and leaves us with two really practical pieces of advice you can start using straight away if you are feeling stuck. 

So if you're ready to tap into your own midlife goddess energy, this podcast is for you. Hi Margaret and welcome to the podcast. Hello and thank you for inviting me. 

Oh pleasure, pleasure. So to begin with Margaret, could you tell us a little bit in your own words about your work and what first drew you to psychotherapy and spiritual guidance? Yes, well I run a busy clinic and that clinic has got sort of two sides to it. The psychotherapy and the mind therapy and then also the energetic therapy which is the healing side or the metaphysical. 

And I've always been drawn to, when I look back, I was always drawn to people and how they sort of perceive things because you can have two different people looking at the same thing and then you take them away as witnesses and you ask them what did they see and they'll probably say something completely different. So that was always very much of interest to me. And on a spiritual side, getting away from, you know, sort of university and all of that sort of side, my grandfather was incredible. 

He was a very gentle, kind man but he was an incredible clairvoyant and he also used to forage and he was the one that really taught me to, you know, look at nature, look at the amazingness of nature. He always used to say that the dandelion was the, you know, the king of the flowers and all the different things you can use and it can do for you. So I had that wonderful background just growing up with him and I think out of all of our family, I'm probably the one that's got his skills of insight and the mediumship side. 

So those two things really, again, mediumship and energy work, you're looking at within and also when you're doing psychology and you're doing life coaching, you're looking at the subconscious mind. So you're looking at how you are seeing things. So the two sit hand in hand really. 

Yeah, yeah. So you see people with your sort of psychotherapist hat on and also with your mediumship. Absolutely, I do. 

Well, obviously I don't mix and match some therapies because I wrote a therapy called Celtic Heritage Healing which is bringing in NLP and it's bringing in celebration of ceremony and it's bringing in all sorts of different healing techniques and clairvoyance. So that's one thing that I brought in. But if I've got obviously a psychotherapy client, then I have to remain within the confines of that and keep to, you know, the rules of psychology and psychotherapy.

But if I've got somebody who's coming for life coaching, I can do more or less what I feel is right and fitting for the client. And every client that comes in is very different, how they learn, how they perceive things, what their story is. Perhaps they've come with stories that weren't as kind to themselves as they could be. 

So we sort of, you know, listen and of course, you know, psychotherapy is the listening skills where you repeat more or less what they're saying to you and then take it from there. So yes, I'm using both sides really. And you do a lot of, you talk a lot about energy. 

I've been listening to Margaret's podcast, which I can thoroughly recommend. So you can just Google or you just go on to Spotify or Apple and look up Margaret DiPetro. That's the name of your podcast. 

And I love the one about auras and energy. Well, I love them all. Thank you. 

No, it's quite, I'm just sitting here listening to Margaret and thinking you've got a lot of experience, Margaret. And I kind of feel like, you know, I know I've scratched the surface a little bit by listening to these podcasts, but it's quite hard to distil just how much you do do and how much you have done because you've been doing this for a long time, haven't you? Yes, I have. In fact, strangely enough, I took psychotherapy in 1986. 

And part of that was to do a thesis on symbology. And that took me to mythical history and tarot. So that's it's almost like 1986 was the year for me where it all sort of came together. 

And then they sort of, they ran side by side. So obviously, I was a compulsive student, you know, sort of educationally, but then also I was asking lots of different questions. And I also got involved with Arthur Finlay College, which is a college down in London, where you have training for mediumship and energy work. 

And I met an amazing man there called Glyn Edwards, and he was my mentor for many years there. And it was through him really, that I also got all the opportunities to work abroad and to take my work to different countries, you know, in Europe and also to America. So, so yes, I love anything to do with energy, whether it's, you know, the human body, the energy around the human body, which you were talking about before, or the energy of a person's mind, because everything is just, it's non tangible, and it can literally take you down so many different sort of roads. 

So it's very exciting. And every client is also very exciting, very different. So can I ask when you know, like, you're looking at me now, and I know we're on a, you know, we're on a web call kind of thing, but can you see, can you see anything of my energy? Well, I can, because I mean, I sort of, it took me nine years for me to literally decide that I was capable of using that in my work. 

So I'm very sceptical about everything, and everything has to be my own truth. I also have to be able to repeat that and know that what I'm doing is something that works. So yes, I can see people's energy, which is absolutely amazing. 

And the thing is, also with auras, you can't actually read anybody's energy, you have to get permission for it. So I mean, you've obviously given me permission. So I'm able to tune in and, you know, sort of see your aura. 

Now, it's not always seeing it, it's sensing it, feeling it, knowing it. And the aura is so many different levels of you. And of course, it's in real time, it's changing consistently, it's changing constantly, by what you're feeling, what you're doing. 

Because all of this, the colours that I see are created by the endocrine system. So they create oils and vapours, which catch in your energy field, your electromagnetic energy field. And they spectrify and they have different densities, so they give off different colours. 

So those are happening all the time, and they should be happening all the time. Whereas a lot of people perhaps would come to me and think they're one colour, but of course, they're not. They're all this beautiful plethora of incredible, magnificent colours, which are talking about and showing what that person is actually feeling emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Wow, that's fascinating. Yeah, so you've got a plethora of techniques and tools at your disposal, by the sounds of it, when someone comes to see you. Absolutely. 

Yes, I mean, looking at sort of NLP and what have you, you're looking at a person's gait as they're walking into the room and how they sit down and sort of gaining rapport with them and everything. It's very similar to what you do if you're having a sitting for somebody in mediumship or you're doing healing. So I think, well, I know that we're more energy than we are physical carbon bodies, but when you actually meet someone, there's this huge amount of information that is given literally by just the two auras meeting and blending together just because they do, and you pick up sensations. 

So I think everybody has that sense of knowing if they walk into a room, they may sense that something is not right, or they may sense a wonderful excitement of genre or whatever it is, whatever the situation is. So they're picking up things all the time and everybody can do that. And you can sort of learn to promote that side of you and to expand that side of you. 

Everybody can do it because we're all energy. It's not something special for just the one who was born to it or whatever. You can learn these things. 

If you have an inkling to want to do that, if you have a reason behind the need to want to get into it deeply, yes, anybody can learn. So that makes me think about tapping into your intuition because sometimes you walk into a room and you're like, oh, there's something. You just feel a crackle in the air.

There's something not quite right. It doesn't feel positive. And you'll often just quash that feeling and think, oh, it's just me, or you just talk yourself out of it. 

And I think with our busy lives where we're pulled from mobile phone to computer to all these kind of devices around us and busyness and messages, it's quite hard, isn't it, just to sort of still yourself to even give yourself the opportunity to get in touch with your own instincts. Yeah. I mean, you're bombarded by tens of thousands of thoughts in your head for a start. 

You're bombarded by energies all around you. You're bombarded by people's emotions and your own emotions. So yes, it is very challenging in this sort of environment that we live to get that peace of quiet of mind.

But when you do that, it's amazing because it opens everything else out because we can change the way that we feel. We can change our energy. And when we change our energy, our body chemistry changes. 

And then when we feel that sort of body chemistry shift, then that, of course, everything else comes more into perspective. It comes more. We can see. 

We have clarity. But we need to get our minds sort of slowed down because most of us are in beta, high beta mode, where everything is happening. We're trying to listen. 

We're trying to cope with a million things. But women are amazing at that, of course, because we're multifaceted beings. But you still got all of that bombardment happening with everything that we do. 

So I think, yes, to try to quiet the mind down, to bring it down from beta to alpha and then beta and delta. Beta is the busyness and alpha is the calm brainwaves. Yes. 

Well, as you go down, as you slow your brainwave activity down, you're sort of creating a space inside your mind. Amazingly, I work abroad and one of the places that I work is a hospital and a medical centre. And there I was given the opportunity to do some tests and exercises.

So I had electrodes put on my head and they wanted me to go into a laboratory type sort of situation where there was a client there and to go into altered states and then do healing. When they actually were measuring it, because there were obviously radiologists there and all the different people, and also we had a professor of probability in there as well. What's the probability of us feeling this or it not happening? But when I was doing that, even though I was walking around the couch and doing healing, my brainwave activity went into delta, which is four hertz per second. 

So it's very, very, very slow, which is normally the unconscious mode or when somebody is dying. So yes, we are capable of incredible things. And as I say, we have more energy than we are physical carbon. 

So I don't think we utilise that as much, and especially women, because women have got this incredible intrinsic feeling of intuition. Those who have children, they will have an inkling that something is wrong. But then you've also got women who are perhaps behind in a business and they intuitively know that there's something not quite correct in the situation or whatever. 

So our intuition is incredibly highly tuned as women. And of course, we've got different brains to men. So our brains allow us to be multifaceted and to be doing different things altogether and not to confuse them, to be able to function doing lots of things. 

Yeah. Although sometimes when I'm multitasking, by the end of it, I'm just so frazzled. I don't feel I've done anything well.

And I sometimes quite envious of my husband who just seems to be able to do one thing at a time and just really, really focused. But you've spoken about midlife as a sort of, you know, when we had our pre-pop rock chat, you know, as a sort of new epoch. And you certainly said you found out when you were in your 50s. 

Do you share your own story of how you came to see it this way and how other women might reframe this stage? Yes, I've always had a very busy life with my own businesses, but also in my first marriage, we had hairdressing businesses as well. So I had my own, but had the hairdressing business too. And that was incredibly time consuming with staff and this, that and the other, and then running my own business. 

And also I had two children. So what happened was we decided that we would sell up and go to France and start up a Gite complex. And also for me to do, you know, some work on the side. 

But unfortunately, I have quite a following and I had a lot of people that would come to the Gite, but wanting to come for courses and things like that. So from leaving a very busy life in the UK, because I've been working for some like nine or 10 years in this new business that I had, which was, I wanted it to be the biggest spiritual centre, but woman's centre. So in particular, so women could come. 

So they would either have the psychology, the life coaching or whatever, but they could also do, we had circles where women could talk to each other and everything. So it was very sort of holistically mixed and eclectically mixed. And when we decided to sell up and go to France, I thought it would be so much easier, but it wasn't. 

And it turned into something that was just as busy as the one that I'd left. And also what was strange about there, because I do the metaphysical side, like I said, the healing side, but in France, the rules are very different. And in some cases, it's something that you're not allowed to do. 

So I had some French doctors who were coming to me to learn different forms of healing techniques in this place. But they had to come sort of incognito, because obviously if the hospitals knew about this or whatever, then they'd be reprimanded for that. So it's a very strange place really for me to be, but it became very, very busy. 

At the same time, I had moved or outlived the relationship that I had with my first husband. So I was very independent anyway. I was the main wage earner of our particular partnership. 

But so I came to a point where I thought enough is enough. And I had so many different things I wanted to do. So I decided that I would end that relationship and move on. 

So I literally put money in the bank so that the bills would be paid while I left. And I left in my car with very few things and 50 euros and came back to the UK. And when I came to the UK, I had this intense feeling of, oh my God, I can do and be who I want to be. 

Prior to that, I must say, when I was in France, I had my parents staying with me as well. And my children were through uni. So everything had sort of come to a point where I was now that free agent, if you know what I'm trying to say. 

So when I came back to the UK, I love doing things like creative work, painting. I learned quite a few skills because it was a mediaeval house that we had. So I learned skills of concrete work and doing the pantiles.

You mean the mediaeval house in France? Yes. So doing a lot of work on that. So I learned so many skills there, timing, decorating and all sorts of stuff. 

So when I came back, I rented a place and I set myself up as a completely different person for doing DIY for women. And it was all literally word of mouth. And that again, just went crazy because I also do very good interior design.

So it went into that, then went into this and then went into that. And it was the most liberating thing to actually come back and not be the old Margaret, which was the one that ran the businesses and all of that sort of thing. I could actually be more hands-on and sort of creative.

And then of course, obviously, because I chose to come back to Yorkshire, a lot of my old students started to see that I was around and was I getting back into the work that I did before. So I did, but there were so many different things that I had like a bucket list that I was going to do. And for me, it wasn't just a new era. 

It was a complete and utter new epoch because I could be who I was completely in the sense of all the different sides of me that I hadn't given the time to allow to be expressed. I took up things like belly dancing, I should say, and African rhythmical dancing. And I did all sorts of different things like that. 

And then of course, decided I would then go down back to Arthur Finney College and start to do more of my training there. And of course, that brought me to being invited to different countries to then teach what I do. So no psychotherapy? No, it was more on a metaphysical side. 

So it was the human energy field. And it was mediumship and, you know, sort of all to do with self and getting to know self. So meditation, breathing techniques, all different forms of healing. 

So I've done them all through to master degree level. So I could teach about five different forms of healing technique from Reiki to Kahuna to TT to all different forms and spiritual healing. So the university were really pleased that I could do that because it was like it really found it out into, again, a plethora of different things. 

And I mean, they even funded me to go to the Philippines and to go there and to do some filming for the university that was connected with psychic surgery. So I mean, I have the most wonderful opportunities to do all sorts of different things. And from that, we did TV series in different countries about what we'd learnt and everything else. 

And then a book came out from that. So all of that would never have happened if I hadn't decided that I would leave France and come over to England and just do DIY for women. So I think any of these things, you know, it's really what I would say the biggest thing is women who, when we get to that age, you know, middle 40s or 50s, we have to realise how many talents we have. 

I mean, it's quite amazing how, you know, if you think those people that have children, you know, they're counsellors, they're cooks, they're taxi drivers, you know, then she goes to the office or she goes to her place of work and then she's a mediator and she's using those skills in a different way. And, you know, being sort of a diplomat in relationships with teenagers and all sorts of different things. So we become, I think women become masters of reinventing ourselves. 

And I think really, sometimes we don't stop to think that we can actually reinvent ourselves using all of our life skills, not our qualifications from education, but from our life skills, we can move them into having a life that is just joyous and exciting and everything else. And of course, in this change for me, I met my now husband and which is the biggest joy of my entire life. So everything just came together because I decided to be not the person who was looking after my parents, not the person who was now needed to be a mum, not the person who was running X amount of businesses and this, that and the other, but to be actually me and to do what I really preferred to do. 

And that brought out the passion in, in my life, really. healthy habits that last, whatever age you are. Want to know if it's right for you? Well, we can have a quick chat. 

You can book a free 30 minute call with me and we'll decide together. Secondly, my book Feel Good For Menopause is packed with real life tips, simple shifts, hormone friendly guidance, and plenty of delicious recipes to help you feel more like yourself again. So if you just need that bit of inspiration, do get yourself a copy. 

It's available on Amazon, or you can click the link in the show notes. Okay, let's get back to the podcast. Wow. 

I mean, listening to you, Margot, I feel so lazy. I mean, so many things. And, you know, just living in another country, we lived in Spain for a decade, and it, you know, does require a lot of energy, doesn't it? And shifting, what have you. 

But I certainly, you know, when I got to sort of 48, I started feeling, you know, a bit invisible, lack of confidence, a bit anxious. And, you know, I don't necessarily want to talk about me, but I just see that kind of echoed in a lot of women that I see. And, you know, you sounded like you had such confidence to just go out there and like, okay, I'm going back to the UK, I've got 50 euros in my wallet. 

And, you know, I'm going to start something afresh. I mean, that takes a lot of courage. Yes, but I had that since I was a child, really. 

So it was, I was always very independent. So, and then, you know, sort of when I had children, when I had my businesses, I was in control of that. So I think that side of making decisions or doing that and having confidence in that way was very easy for me. 

But I do see many, many, many women from all different walks of life, you know, from those who are very rich, who have a challenge of what to do next, because they have so many opportunities and so many choices that they can have that, you know, there's a slip of the fingers, but then you've got others that, you know, are there thinking, but who am I? And I think a lot of women do lose their, their, you know, their mojo in life, because they lose who they are, because they're fragments into being the role of mother or the role of, you know, the working female, or all of these, the carer, or all of these different roles that they put all of their beautiful skills and energies into, and they forget about themselves. So I think, again, if you bring that back to a spiritual side, I think if anybody, you know, has the wanting to sort of get that stillness, I think you really do have to start to give yourself time, even if it's five minutes a day, to sit in the silence, and just to allow the noisiness of the day to go and just go with your breathing. And at first, you're not, it's not going to work. 

At first, you're going to be all over the place, you're going to be, you know, sort of designing your kitchen, or you're going to be doing your shopping list or whatever it is. But eventually, it's like putting sort of like leaves on a stream, and with all those thoughts in your head. And as people, we think 30,000 thoughts a day or more that we thought yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before. 

And that's on a loop, and it's not teaching you anything, it's not giving you anything. So I think, well, the first thing we have to do is to put that love and that care and devotion into self, and start to ask a question, you know, what do I really, really want? When we have an opportunity to do that, because we are of certain age, and responsibilities are less, they're diminishing. So I think it's important to focus all that love and devotion and work into yourself.

Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. And I often sit with, you know, my clients here, and you know, they'll be telling me about some stressful event in their life. And, you know, sometimes I say to them, you know, and I say it to myself as well, you know, we worry about all these trivialities, and getting here and doing that, and being this on time, and you know, all these things. 

And the reality is, you know, we won't be here in three decades. It's kind of distilled in like, no, you've got to kind of live for now. But it is. 

Yeah, I mean, I meditate, and presumably you meditate. Do you, Debbie Lee? I do. A lot of my work, because I still do healing, you know, sort of therapies. 

So that in itself is a meditation, if you're doing an amazing one-hour therapy, you know, Reiki therapy or whatever. But yes, but I think people need to be in the present moment. Because yes, we have, we're sort of in a 3D linearised form of living, don't we? We have a beginning, a middle and an end. 

But everything actually happens in the present moment. And I sometimes it's just noticing what is around you at that present moment. And that sometimes slows things down, because we're always somewhere else in our heads, aren't we? And we're either in the past, or we're in the future. 

But we're rarely thinking about what's actually happening right now. And I think that that is one of the first things really, to do if you're wanting to calm your mind down or to sort out your, you know, your busy mind, chattering in your mind, is just something simple, like five things that you see around you. Just say, I see this, I see this, then four things that you can feel, I feel a chair, I feel my feet on the ground, whatever it is, three things that you can hear, two things that you can sense, you know, just doing that, stopping for those moments in the present moment, and just noticing what's happening can actually almost like reboot your brain, because then those thoughts just sort of are dropped, because you're focussing your left brain onto doing something, because the left brain is always getting in the way, isn't it? It's always wanting to analyse and rationalise and sort you out and keep you in the same old, same old. 

Yeah. Whereas, you know, if you give it something to do, like that, it can sort of like calm your mind down, really. So, what do you say, in order for, you know, midlife women and beyond, if you know, and I think another reason we lose confidence is, you know, A, we've been really busy, maybe with the kids and everything, and then maybe they go off to uni and things start to calm down and you start thinking, well, what can I do now? But also, you know, your hormones are dropping, so you don't get that sort of physiological boost that you once had as your oxygen and progesterone drop off. 

And then you're ageing as well, you know, and people are starting to get grey hair and saggy skin and, you know, it just all this like, it all comes at the wrong time, when you're already feeling like everyone's left. And then suddenly, you know, you are, you know, you're dealing with your own sort of, you know, ageing body, face, etc. But do you think if people take the time to sort of slow down a bit, meditate and just get in touch with themselves, that can help, you know, help up that sort of that feeling? Yeah, I definitely do. 

But I also feel, you know, we need to look at what we eat as well. I'm very much sort of looking at food energetically, because that's one of my favourite subjects. So, you know, eating things that are, have electricity or have electromagnetic energy within them. 

So those are things that, you know, the fruits has got seeds in. And I mean, if you go to supermarkets now, you sometimes you have a challenge finding any fruit that doesn't have seeds in or pips in, because of taking them out because of the, you know, sort of reform them, haven't they? But if you if you look at live food, what you put inside of you, and that electricity, that electromagnetic energy, it feeds your system within you, your energy system within you. And that can have a ricochet effect if the food you're putting in is sustaining you energetically, as well as sustaining you, you know, with the right nutrients and everything else, that that sort of it has to escape somewhere. 

And it escapes usually in your mood coming up and feeling better. And, you know, the changes that occur in your body when you're not as stressed as you were before. But I do agree with, you know, sort of hormones and everything. 

And it's challenging, I think, in so many different ways, if you do go through, you know, the line of seeing a GP, especially in the UK, there's, there's, there's generic, you know, sort of prescriptions that are given out, they don't look at you as this beautiful person who is so uniquely created in in a physical way. Whereas what you do, of course, covers that. And it really does, you know, sort of help people look at the food that they eat, and what that food does to them. 

But I also feel the energy side of that food can make such a difference as well, if you choose food that is, you know, is created by Mother Earth, that is got seeds in it, it's got, you know, pips in it, it's got stones in it, and a whole, whole group that haven't been messed with or tampered with. I think that that is on an energy level, it does, you know, have have a life to it. Again, we've done, you know, sort of, we've looked at plants and fruit and what have you, through through the auric machinery and what have you, and you can, the curling photography, for instance, when you're looking at that, you can see that all food has an aura too. 

So that energy that you're consuming is going to, you know, benefit you if you're having live food. And when I mean live food, I'm talking about energetically live food that has electricity within it, because we are electromagnetic beings. And it does make such a difference, because we can learn to, to feed ourselves that way energetically, as well as nourishing our body with the proper foods, we're going to have more clarity of mind. 

And we're going to have more energy. So I think it's really important that we we look at ourselves not just as carbonised creatures, but as energy, you know, entities as well. And to to use that to our advantage. 

And how we think as well, our mindset is is so so incredibly important, because our subconscious mind, it doesn't have an opinion, it just does what you put and say to it the most. So if you're telling yourself you're not good enough, then that's what's going to happen, you're going to have the same habits of behaviour that create being seen or felt as not being good enough. Is that where you're sort of like inner critic, which we you know, I mine's quite loud, I think, you know, yes, most people are quite loud, aren't they? Absolutely.

And how do you know, have you got any, you know, techniques on quieting that, that that inner critic, because, you know, if you've been brought up in a way, and maybe you, there was a bit of shame, or you didn't feel good enough, or, you know, around whatever it might be, weight, intelligence, you know, there's all, you know, various sort of things in life that can affect you on there. But, you know, do you Yeah, do you have any tips on if you know how we how we change that mindset? Right? Well, I mean, first of all, we have to make a choice that we want to change it, because the only person that can change how we behave and how we feel is ourselves. And then I think it's it's going into, you know, describing what it is, perhaps, there is NLP techniques, and there's also spiritual techniques that are very similar, where you you go into that part of you, and you have a conversation with that part. 

So we could either have, say parts integration, where you've got the part of you that is feeling insecure, the part of you that feels not good enough. And I think it's having a conversation with that part of you, and thanking it, first of all, for looking after you, because it's been doing what it's been asked to do for so many decades. And just saying, you know, maybe there's there's a part of a new part of me that can now come in and help the old part that is the one that has lack of confidence, learn new ways, and would you be open to that, I think it's talking to self of saying, you know, shall I look out of, out of my normal, you know, sort of perspective of who I am, and what have you, and see if there's something else there that might actually empower me. 

Also, there's, there's so much that is said to a young person, and they take that on board as being a truth, and then they build their whole life on that deficit. And as they go older, of course, it could be the feeling of not being good enough, that could be pushing away those people that that fall in love with you, or, or friendships are, you know, beautiful friendships, but that person ends up pushing them away, because they think they're going to either hurt that person or, or be hurt themselves. So I do think it's, it's just maybe writing things down, writing the story that you have listened to about yourself, that perhaps is a story that has deficits in it. 

And maybe creating a new story and saying, you know, what if I could be in this way? Or what if I thought of this situation in a different way? And I think as soon as you do that, you start opening up doors, and you can start working on what your preferences are, for instance, instead of doing what you think everybody else thinks that you should be doing, or doing what you think you ought to do, because it's, it's, you know, in society, it's, it's the way that you should perform or be. Just start to do things in a way that you prefer. And, and don't be always being apologetic for not, not doing it in the way that people would, would want you to do something. 

I think because we get in this mindset of that we plot, and we do the same old, same old all the time. So if we don't stop and listen, and have that conversation with ourselves, then there's never going to be change, because it will always be the same old, same old. Yeah. 

So I think, you know, start, you could start off with, when I talk about preference, I think that is a really important thing, you could start off in the morning, you know, do I prefer tea or coffee, you start with the simple things, and then expand that, do that for a week, you know, and, and follow what you prefer, because when you start to follow what you prefer, something changes inside of you. And you start to have a different feeling about yourself, because you're actually listening to yourself. And you're doing something for you. 

And that leads to your passion. And then your passion leads to you being on the path where you want to be, the places you want to go, instead of going to the places people thought you should go to. So it's like looking at a bucket list as well. 

You know, what have you not done in your life that you would love to do, and then start making that happen in small steps. And you've obviously done that with your own life. I mean, obviously, you had a successful life, you know, pre 50. 

But you obviously changed everything up. Yes, definitely. Now you absolutely, you know, clearly look after yourself, and you radiate energy. 

And, you know, you obviously, you know, do take the time to reflect and listen to your preferences and eat the right food. And, yeah, sort of take care of yourself. But any sort of top tips for women, you know, like you talked about food, just going back to that, which is kind of like, you know, bringing it back down. 

But, you know, you talked about food being energetic. You mean, just like food being very fresh? Yes, but it's molecular system, it has electricity within it, because it has seeds in it, then it can reproduce itself. So you've got that, that wonderful energy in there. 

So it is live food. And so, yes, it's choosing food that, you know, organic food, if you can, and obviously, not everybody can, but by eating the fresh food that you're able to, and try to focus on that, I think is really, really important. Because like I say, as you consume that, it's going to have an internal energy, you know, change on your vital chi energy, prana energy, you know, joyous energy, as well as your physical body. 

And also, you know, you'll find new ways of eating, because once you get into a habit of trying all of these good foods, let's put it that way, when you go back to eating something that is stodgy, or is pre-packed or pre-made or what have you, you can feel the energetic difference in your body, you'll get headache or a detox or, or whatever. So I think being in tune to your body will give you longevity. On a spiritual level, I have, you know, with all of the information that I've gleaned, you know, we are not human beings that should die at the age that we think we should die.

Because again, a lot of that is, is suggested to us that when we get to a certain age, it's all going to slow down, pipes and slippers and all of this. But if you have a mindset where you say, well, no, I'm in charge of my body's mind over matter, I can do what I want to do, I can, I can, you know, live as long as I wish to live. And I think a part of that is eating well, and is resting and is making sure you have enough sleep. 

And, you know, the environment around you, keeping your energy, you know, sort of clear, I think is so important. All of that is making you up who you are, energetically. And I think that's, that's a huge thing in how we can feel how we can look younger, using amazing things like castor oil on your face. 

I mean, I come from a background where I have a lot of Italian food. So olive oil, we used to use olive oil for everything. My children were completely covered in olive oil, you know, when they had a bath and stuff like that. 

It's just things that we would normally do and naturally do the old ways, a lot of the old ways of using, you know, Mother Earth's beautiful produce on our skin, ingesting it. It's just a beautiful, even, you know, in the senses and the essential oils, all of those things, they lift our mood. And I do feel all of those put together, that energy side of things can make you feel so very different about life. 

Yeah, totally. And when you feel happy, you feel so expansive, don't you? I'm feeling miserable. I don't want to text anyone. 

I don't want to hear from anyone. I can be left on my own to stew my own juices. And when I'm feeling really happy, I'm like, I just feel like I'm a bigger person, you know, I'm just in contact with more people. 

And I just said, I literally feel like I'm taking up more space. Well, you are energetically because your aura, as your energy increases, your aura increases. I mean, if you look at people who are on stage and who have a charismatic, you know, sort of singers or actors or whatever, they're throwing out their energy right to the back of the auditorium, aren't they? That's their energy, that's their charismatic, that's their aura. 

And, you know, this does make you feel larger than life. And the more that you, you know, just even thinking about, say, breathing in a beautiful energy through the top of your head and allowing that energy to start to expand with each breath, you can start to feel that happening. And you start to get quite emotional about that happening when you do that. 

But yes, you know, having that energy field, your electromagnetic energy field nourished and fed with energy, with positive energy around you and the food that you eat and the thoughts that you think and all of these things are making you a larger than life entity, larger than life person. And you're right, it does attract good things to you because if your energy is bouncy and positive, it'll attract bouncy and positive energy because that's the laws of physics is like attracts like. And everybody knows, you know, if they go into a supermarket and they feel amazing, as you walk into a supermarket energetically, as you walk around, there's so many people that are not feeling as energetic as you or have got money issues or they're not well or whatever it is. 

And as you pass them, laws of physics, they take from you and the energy, you know, balances out. So our energy field is really, really important. Really important.

Yeah. And it's so nice when you're feeling like that. And I always think, oh, what am I doing? What am I doing that I'm feeling like this? I've got to keep doing it. 

And then, you know, it all sort of shifted to something, you know, I don't know, something that happened internally, externally, and then you feel you're maybe not so good. So it is, yeah, it's a constant kind of work in progress, trying to stay like that. It sounds like you've got it nailed, but for me, I'm a bit up and down. 

There are things, I mean, if you look at your five senses, you know, what things make you feel good about yourself, you know, things like music, the frequency and vibration of music, we all have a specific, you know, frequency that does make us feel, you know, sad or happy or relaxed or chilled or energetic or crazy, you know. And just listening to that sort of music that you know feeds you, because again, it's frequency, it's vibration, it's energy, and it will feed your aura. It will feed you. 

It'll have an effect on your mood. It'll have an effect on your positive thinking. Or, you know, just doing something, having a massage or, you know, even, you know, having a bath that's got some fluffy soap in it or whatever, you know, bubble bath in it or whatever, just saying to yourself, I'm doing this for me has an effect on you. 

And I think it's finding those things, those very small, simple things that actually make you feel good, and then replicating that, doing that more often. And that will feed you. It's making me feel really good. 

I'm going to do it again. Yeah, totally. Totally.

I think we've all got such busy minds. Sometimes you don't even know when, you know, yeah, you have to really sit with yourself to understand what does bring you joy. And, you know, having a spotless kitchen or being on time for everything or packing loads into one day probably isn't bringing any joy, but sometimes it's hard to see that.

It's true. And remember, none of us are perfect. And, you know, trying to pursue perfection, you'll never get there because you'll be thinking that you're still not perfect when you get to that point. 

Whereas other people probably think, you know, you're a goddess sitting there. So, yes, the whole thing, I think, is for women to think about, you know, who they are, who they truly are inside. What is it that they would really love to do? What is it, you know, who am I? Where am I? What am I doing? What am I thinking about doing? What have I put on hold? All of those things, you can keep a diary and diarise it and maybe do one tiny thing a day that is doing what you want to do or what your preference is, what you would like to be able to make a choice on rather than doing what you've always done or doing what you think you ought to do.

Yeah. Isn't it doing what you think you should do? Yes. Yeah. 

Yeah. So, that's a really good. And I was going to end with that. 

But before I do that, if I was listening to this podcast, I was saying, God, why doesn't the host ask this? What is your diet? Is it vegetarian? Do you eat meat? Yeah. Well, I'm actually pescarian. So, I do eat fish on occasion, but mostly I'm vegetarian.

You know, food from animals is not so energetic. No. Well, I mean, A, I love animals and I came to a point about probably 50 years ago where I decided I couldn't be a part of that system. 

It's just my personal point of view. If somebody comes to my home and they want to eat meat, then I'll certainly do that for them because it's not for me to judge. But energetically, once I stopped eating meat and also when I started my spiritual development as well, it just made me feel better. 

I didn't crave it. I didn't want it. And I feel it's so much healthier. 

Most of my diet is a Mediterranean diet. I eat lots of flax oils and olive oils and salads and all sorts of different things like that. And I love the vibrancy of colour on my plate as well. 

I love preparing it. I love cooking. I love foraging as well because my granddad taught me that. 

So, yes, I think it's anything that Mother Earth produces is going to be good for us. But again, it has to be what you feel is making you the better you and is making you feeling more energetic, more positive, more calm, more relaxed, all of those different things. Because as we know, some foods can have the opposites like caffeine and stuff like that. 

I do like mushrooms and things. I must admit, I like the different mushroom products that you can purchase instead of coffee and things. Oh, do you? So, you don't drink coffee? No, I prefer the mushroom.

I'm looking at Margaret, guys, and she looks so young. I want to know what she's doing. Margaret, I'm aware I've taken lots of your time, but just some practical takeaways because you've covered so much and I could talk to you so easily for another hour and there's so many other questions I have, but we have the time that we have. 

But for someone who's listening and maybe they feel a bit stuck or uncertain, they're really resonating with what you're saying, but wondering how to distil that into a couple of pieces of advice where they can move forward. Have you got a couple of tips for them? Well, I have to say to my clients, if you make a list of what you don't want in your life and then what you do want in your life will become apparent. So, if you make a list of, you know, I want to change my job, I don't want to work in front of a screen, I want to be outdoors, I want to have three days a week, I want to... whatever it is that you want, write what you don't want in your life.

And then, yes, this is what I don't want in my life. And then make a list of what you do want. And then that list of what you do want, just push it down to maybe 10, you know, of the best ones that really make you feel excited when you look at them written down. 

And then just start to see, how can I bring what I do want into my life? And always getting into, you know, sort of look at your bucket list that you haven't filled. I mean, because we have one life of Margaret, one life of Amanda, we've got one life as being us. So, we don't want to have regrets. 

And if there are some things, maybe things might, you might think is too huge to be able to attain, but you might be able to, you know, chop them down to little bits and have parts of them. So, it will still fulfil you. And it's saying that you're listening to you. 

So, I think that's it, making a list of what you don't want in your life, and then what you do want, and then trying to focus on that. And as I said before, with the preferences, you know, doing what you prefer, allowing yourself to have that holiday that you want, rather than a holiday that you think the family needs, or whatever, you know, putting choices to your family saying, well, how about doing this or for a change or whatever, you know, just expressing yourself more. Because, you know, every woman, there's not one woman that's on this earth that hasn't got amazing qualities to her and stories to tell. 

And some of those stories, you know, are sad stories, yes, but you can change that narrative. You have the power, the goddess within, to change and become who you truly are. And when you do that, amazingly, people around you benefit, because they'll see you being happy and they'll want a piece of the cake, or they'll ask you or they'll want to be around you or whatever. 

People will notice when people are happy and are doing things that, you know, they want to do. So, it's not as scary as a lot of women think. You know, if I change this, then, you know, people won't love me as much or they'll think I'm going through the change, which is, you know, one of the things a lot of my clients say, you know, my husband thinks it's, you know, because I'm going through the change that I'm moving. 

Well, maybe it's because you've come to a point in your life where there's other changes that you need to make. So, what do you truly, truly want? That's such a powerful ending, Margaret. So, I think we all, you know, just such a good note and a good message for people that are listening. 

So, it just sounds like you're, you know, a brilliant guy, just someone struggling and, you know, you just sometimes you don't know, you know, yeah, you just need someone else to, you know, give you a bit confidence maybe or a bit of guidance, but yeah. And finally, where can listeners connect with you or learn more about your work, Margaret? Oh, well, if you go to margaretdepetro.com, you'll see all the different things that I do and you'll be able to get in touch with me there. And I also do a podcast, so it's Margaret DePetro podcast. 

That's going really well. It's a new one that's out that's covering a lot of different subjects, just chatting along with different thoughts that come into my head and what have you. But yeah, so please, yes, get in touch with me, that would be lovely. 

We shall end it there, but thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and I'm sure that's going to resonate with a lot of women and I'm sure you're going to inspire women to sort of tap into that, you know, inner wisdom and start really doing what, you know, they want to do and what they prefer to do. So, thank you so much for your time.

It's been a pleasure, a total pleasure. I've loved it. Great. 

Thank you. Thank you for your company. You can hear a new episode of Feel Like a Midlife Goddess every Friday. 

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