Why Your Marriage Keeps Repeating the Same Patterns l EP. 93 l

If your marriage keeps repeating the same arguments, distance, frustration, or disconnection…

It’s probably not a communication problem.

It’s an identity problem.

In this episode, I break down:

•  why most marriage advice only treats symptoms 
•  how “nice guy” patterns quietly destroy attraction and trust 
•  why people pleasing is rooted in insecurity and fear 
•  how unresolved childhood conditioning shows up inside marriage 
•  why behaviour change alone never lasts 
•  the hidden cost of constantly performing for love and approval 
•  how your marriage becomes a mirror for the man you’ve become 

I also share:

•  the exact patterns that almost destroyed my own marriage 
•  why nervous system work alone wasn’t enough 
•  how men unknowingly become emotionally manipulative 
•  the difference between authentic leadership and performance 
•  how changing yourself changes your marriage, parenting, and legacy 

This episode is for the married man who:

•  feels disconnected at home 
•  struggles with defensiveness or people pleasing 
•  avoids hard conversations 
•  constantly overthinks what to say 
•  feels emotionally exhausted from trying to “keep the peace” 
•  knows there’s a stronger version of himself underneath the patterns 

Because your marriage is not punishing you.

It’s revealing the parts of you that still need healing.

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Transcript

Harrison Orr (00:05.806)
If you want to change your marriage, is what it actually requires.

Harrison Orr (00:14.606)
You're listening to the Be Better podcast. I'm Harrison Ohr and I help men to update their identity, break the patterns, ruining their marriage and ultimately lead themselves and their marriage to a place of deep connectedness and fulfillment. In this episode, I want to talk to you about what actually needs to happen in order to change your marriage. Through no fault of their own, most men, and I fell into this category as well. You think that, okay, my marriage isn't where I want to be. What did we used to do before the kids, before the stress?

Maybe it was a, we went on more date nights. Okay. We've got to have more date nights. We, we had more sex. Okay. It's got to be that we've that's been slack. So we've got to do more of that. Maybe we, talked more, we had more fun and you start to put your time and your energy into, into these areas and you almost get reinforced that those are the pillars, right? Through social media. People say that you need to, you need to talk more. You need to go more date nights. You need to have more sex.

make it a priority, schedule it in, do all these things. And I'm not going to discount those as elements to a successful and healthy marriage for sure. But they are not the root cause of why you are this way. And so many, and this is the world as a whole, we get sold bandaid fixes. We get sold fixing the symptom as opposed to treating

the issue, right? The date nights, the sex, the interactions, the flirtiness, the playfulness, the time together, all those things happened as a byproduct of other things. even, I would even challenge some of those to say that if you're on this journey, there's a high likelihood that you even don't want to go back to the relationship that you used to have.

Right? In any new relationship, that honeymoon phase, things are romanticized. There's less pressure, there's less stress, there's all these things. But when the novelty of that wears off, the real parts come out to play. And so this is where we get to evolve and do better. Right? We're not going back to the relationship we had trying to live in the past. We're moving forward.

Harrison Orr (02:40.832)
into the relationship that we could have because we are both growing. Now we both have the labels of mom and dad of the extra, the stresses and the experiences of life. We are not the same people. We want to keep moving forward and that's requires new levels of work. And if you want to actually change

your relationship, want to change these things from the root cause. So it becomes a lifelong change, not just a surface level fix. Then it's going to require that level of work. And I, I tried, I tried all those things. Like I was a chronic people pleasing nice guy. was defensive. I was reactive and I detached these labels to myself as well. And these labels definitely do us more harm than good.

And this goes beyond the marriage, but how many people now self diagnose and label themselves as I have ADHD or I have this thing and I'm this type of attachment style. Even you're bringing it back to the marriage. I'm a nice guy. I'm this, I'm that. And whilst that might feel like some form of intellect or maturity that you now

have words to describe some of your traits. It's also extremely limiting.

And for myself, I used to say, I'm a, I'm a nice guy. I'm a good guy, right? Like I put other people first. I don't cause conflict. I don't make an issue. I'm happy to just go with the flow that, and that makes me a good person. I'm, I'm compatible. I'm compliant. I put others needs above my own. And surely that makes me a good person. Makes me worthy of love. Makes me deserving of more, more sex and a better relationship and, and all the things that would make happy life.

Harrison Orr (04:41.696)
And it surely doesn't. I can, I can affirm that to you if you haven't already experienced that for yourself and what it actually took for me to change.

myself and my marriage wasn't just a few behavior changes. It was the changes that had to come from much deeper than that. I essentially had to gaslight myself to question everything, question everything that I thought I knew about myself, the way that I would describe myself, the intentions that I had for things, and even the lens that I had on life and my partner and what was quite unquote

good and bad. I thought that I'm I'm a good, I'm a nice guy. Therefore I'm a good person and this is how you get what you want. Right. You treat others the way that you want to be treated. Failing to look at the actual intentions behind those. Like when you read no more, Mr. Nice guy, it's like this aha moment of, my fucking God, I've been anything but nice. I said, I've been saying that I've been nice.

but I've actually been secretly manipulating people and trying to get what I want through people pleasing, through not setting boundaries and setting these covert contracts and wondering why I'm so irritated and resentful and massive aggressive.

And that starts to, when you start to just chip away at that identity and some of those beliefs, it starts to open things up to, maybe I'm not the way that I think I am. Maybe life isn't the way that it seems, the way that I've been seeing it.

Harrison Orr (06:33.804)
And then when you loosen your grip on reality to at least put a question mark in there of, I thought it was this way, but maybe it's not. Maybe being a nice guy isn't the way to a happy marriage. Maybe happy wife, happy life through the people pleasing and lack of leadership and lack of decisions and letting her choose everything. Maybe just maybe that isn't the way to.

fulfilling and connected relationship. But unless I'd been able to.

see that unless I'd been able to at least challenge that I wouldn't have been able to make it this far like we to quote alex homozy and I think he took this from someone else we question all our beliefs except the ones we truly believe for those we never think to even question

And this is where we get to, we truly want to change things aren't working the way that we would like them to actually be able to question, well, maybe there's parts of my identity. There's parts of me that.

maybe need some changing that aren't of the highest virtue, that aren't the type of man that I would like to be. And it takes admitting that and the ownership of that to be able to change it.

Harrison Orr (08:09.164)
Only that doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you anything else. It's just, it's eye opening. And then when you can take that embarrassingly almost harsh look in the mirror and start to question these things.

You start to realize, you start to see where these patterns come from. You start to see that, these are protective strategies. I people please because I actually don't love myself enough to value myself above anybody else. So I let other people decide how I should feel about myself. I put their approval and validation over me because my own approval and validation matters so little. And I'll do anything I can.

to say yes to other people because I lack boundaries and allow them to treat me however I want as long as they like me, as long as they can say that I'm a good person. say nice, good, they say nice things about me. And so, you know, Harrison's a good guy and he's nice and he's caring. He's generally, he's all these things, but I was a fucking doormat. I allowed everybody else to tell me what I should stand for, to tell me who I should be, to tell me who I should behave, which ultimately meant

I was a nobody. I didn't have a real personality because that would, who I was would depend on who I was in front of and who I thought they wanted me to be.

Harrison Orr (09:37.294)
And it took realizing that to actually even open those gates to well, what actually has to change then? Because at this point it's not just behaviors, right? I can't just show up differently. can't just put on, know, just puff up my chest and walk with, you know, a better posture to elude this confidence. It's going to take more than that. Cause if you've tried any of that, you know, it feels fake and it's fake for a reason.

Harrison Orr (10:08.92)
Cause it's not just, don't get reactive. Take a deep breath, slow things down, let her finish. And know, just, just be better than last time set some boundaries. Cause I tried that too. I tried it. I learned that, okay, if I'm a nice guy, I'm a nice guy because I say yes to everyone and I don't set boundaries. Okay. So in order to not be a nice guy to change that, need to set boundaries and say no. Got it. That seems pretty logical. Right. And so I did that.

but it got the exact opposite reaction of what I thought I should get. Why? Because I was saying no with a passive aggressive tone. I was setting boundaries that I hadn't communicated before. And so people just thought I was being this weird asshole. I was being rude and I was not getting the result that I wanted. And I was again confused. Like I did the things. Why is it different? Because the behavior without the energy, without the identity change is

not going to get you the result. It's like so many guys want the script or the thing to say in their relationship. Like, what do need to say to, handle the conflict, to, get her in the mood, to, do all these things. And the analogy that I use is like the sleazy salesman. If you haven't heard this one real quick, it's, you know, think about a time where you were talking to a, to a salesman. Maybe it was a real estate agent. Maybe it was a car salesman. Maybe you bought something online. You know, you had a call with someone and

One experience, the guy is saying the right things, but you get that ick feeling. You get that, I don't know. I don't trust you, man. This, I don't feel like you really care about me right now. I feel like you're just trying to take my money. Like I got the, get this, this barrier. Like my walls are coming up on here. My Spidey senses are tingly.

Cause you feel the disingenuity in his, from his energy. It's not about the words versus someone else who might say the exact same thing, but you feel like he's genuine. You feel like he genuinely cares about you getting what you need in getting the product or the thing to solve your problem and getting what's right for you in this moment.

Harrison Orr (12:25.378)
And now think about what you experienced there. And now times that by 10, because your wife's intuition is so much stronger than ours. And that's what she feels when even if you're saying the right things, but it's still creating that resistance.

And so it takes more than just saying the right things or even doing the right things. So addressing these, these patterns, actually looking at where did these come from? Okay. can see in Dr. Robert Glover's number, Mr. Nice guy, where, he thinks they come from, but my, okay. So what do we do about it? And that's one part that I disagree with with him on. He says he will forever be a recovering nice guy. I fundamentally reject that.

because that's like saying, okay, cool. You've got a label. You've got some tactics, but now it's like the management of it. Like you've got AIDS and it's this disease that you just manage and live with until you die. Fuck that. And then you hear about these, understand these parts, how these parts are born and that the nice guy isn't one label, but it's actually a collection of different protective strategies of the people, please. of, know, because a part of you at

know, when you were, when you were younger, you, you said, no, you put your needs first and you got punished for it. You know, you got sent to your room, you got your time and attention from mom and dad taken away. So you learned that put other people first and you won't have love taken away. Maybe you said, you said no at one point and you, again, you got punished, you got embarrassed from it. You got something taken off you again. So you learned cool. Don't say no because that

gives me a negative outcome. I'm to avoid that by always saying yes. And then we avoid conflict again, we had conflict and then something else negative happened and it starts to like snowball from here, all these different traits. But that's where the beautiful part about this is, is that when you understand that they're all individual parts that you can address specifically, there's, there's progress in that.

Harrison Orr (14:41.496)
There's specificity to that. There's no more vagueness to this. It's, have this protective part that behaves in this way, that's protecting me from this thing. And now that I can genuinely understand that, I can work with that part to now start to lead it to then not have it protect, try to protect me in that way, because I'm now an adult that has the resources to handle that emotion, to handle that event that I didn't have when this part was first born. Amazing. And then you do it with the other parts.

And then the cycle continues. When we talk about the vagueness of being a nice guy of ADHD, whatever other labels that we want to slap on, it's very hard to get specific as to what you then do about it because they're not one thing, it's a collection. And then we have to be careful about attaching these labels to ourselves because that label becomes our identity. And then it gets, it gets sticky.

Harrison Orr (15:43.746)
This journey of then understanding this has had the most profound change on my marriage more than I ever thought it would. And the crazy thing is it's not even relationship work. It's not even marriage work. It's, it's got nothing to do with even my wife. had nothing to do with my wife. It was all personal work.

I went from being someone who filtered everything through the lens of, this going to make her happy? Is this what she wants? Is this, you know, how do I say the right thing? How do I get her in the, get her in the mood? How do I keep her happy? How do I put her first to you? And thinking that was the way to, to a happy marriage to actually

being able to pick a decision, not being afraid of getting it wrong, being able to navigate the mistakes, own the mistakes without fear of, well I got it wrong. So she's going to see me as incompetent. She's going to leave me. She's going to do all these things to, well, yeah, it may not work out, but we'll figure it out when we get there.

and being able to actually without.

the specific intention being able to actually make her significantly happier and more relaxed as a byproduct of the way that I show up because I show up and carry my weight of the emotional load of making the decisions of the direction of doing these things, which is my responsibility, my blessing as the man, as opposed to waiting for her to decide and let her choose everything and doing everything from, I hope she tells me that I'm a good boy.

Harrison Orr (17:36.746)
And that was getting us nowhere.

And it's also tiring to wear those masks all the time. Like if you're constantly having to look through the lens of who does, who does, whoever's in front of me need me to be right now. And then trying to perform that exhausting. It's ingenuous. And no wonder she couldn't feel me. No wonder she couldn't be deeply attracted to me and desire me because she

didn't really know who the fuck I was. Like, how do you know who someone truly is? If every answer you get from them is what they think you want to hear. Like it's really hard to know someone at that point, like whether they're your, your partner or just a friend. You're like, is that what you really think? Or are you just trying to side with me? You just telling me what you think I want to hear. And then that bleeds into, well, I don't think I can trust this person cause they're not being honest.

I don't feel safe around this person because they're just trying to manipulate me. Like it snowballs into that, whether that's a conscious thought or it's subconscious. Like we pick up on that.

And through all that ownership, you could get to a point of realization of realizing that my marriage is the beautiful mirror of, of me in the way that I'm showing up. And so this state is at least 50 % me, if not more, because of the way that I've been showing up, the way that I handle conflict, the way that I would defer all my decisions and confidence to her.

Harrison Orr (19:15.244)
And that is where the work is.

Harrison Orr (19:20.514)
Like, that doesn't come through joint counseling. Like if you're sitting in, sitting there listening to this thinking, cool, man, like how does this apply to marriage? How does this apply to me right now? Cause I've tried the counseling. I've tried the therapy, but this stuff won't come up in, joint counseling or therapy because it's a, it's a you thing. And that's the power in this. Like there's nothing wrong with the marriage.

A marriage is just the sum of two parts. When each person owns their shit and does the work on themselves and improves what they bring to the marriage, then everything gets better. It's like, imagine if you're having a party and you said, all right, everyone just bring a meal, right? And you've got some people that put effort in and they bring a nice stored out meal. It's nutritious. It's like, it's a big serving. It's like, it's perfect for...

for what's needed. And you've got someone else that brings a fucking bag of chips. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? So it's what you bring to the relationship significantly changes when you do this work on yourself, because you can own how you're showing up. And especially as the men, we get to lead ourselves. And then through this understanding of ourselves, we get to understand other human beings and specifically our wife to a significantly

greater degree. And that gets, that changes the way that we, we handle things. Like I used to keep everything service level. would take, you know, the words that my wife said personally, I would speak to whatever she had said and think that I had to solve everything and never really understanding what the actual problem was. Like never really taking the time.

or I won't even say that. I never had the understanding of, well, she told me she said this. So that's gotta be the problem, right? Typical male logistical thinking because no one really teaches us anything else, but it's very rarely about the thing. It's like, it's not the fact that you left the kitchen a mess. It's the fact that she had to clean it up when she should have had that time to spend with you and the kids or the fact that

Harrison Orr (21:48.216)
she's asked you to do to actually clean up after yourself and you haven't. So now not only have you made mess, but you're also not listening to her. So she doesn't feel valued. She doesn't feel respected. And now she's starting to feel like your mother as opposed to your partner. And it's no wonder then as an extension of that, that she doesn't feel attracted to you because who wants to fuck this on.

Harrison Orr (22:09.454)
See how these things start to snowball. And when we understand that it makes so much more sense. You're like, okay, cool. It's not about that. Then we can get to the real issue. And then when you know the weight that some of these things carry, like not listening to your partner, like doing all these things or making them make the decisions after cleaning up after you're doing all these things. It's, it's not just

clean up the kitchen. It's not just Cape your word. It's much deeper than that.

Harrison Orr (22:57.57)
And that's why this work I believe is, is so powerful because it literally has the power to not only change, change you, but yes, you change. Actually, I'm going to keep this personal. So yes, I have changed. I've changed significantly throughout this journey. I, I used to be extremely socially awkward, socially anxious. I hated those situations and I felt like I was so boring that I would literally read the newspaper.

before I talked to people, because I thought that I needed to be interesting and have things to talk about whenever I spoke to people. I used to overthink everything. Whenever my wife used to go out or be with friends, I would be so jealous and on my phone and insecure and everything. And not only do I just not have those things anymore, not only do I now have the confidence to be myself, to have a conversation with someone, to put myself out there on social media, to have...

high stakes, you know, emotional conversations with my wife, with clients holding that space. But the impact that has had on my marriage as a by-product, not through doing any specific marriage work, but just by showing up differently and leading this better. also has a significant impact on my son as well. Because now I, when I understand where these parts have come from and how they came from needs not being met as, as a child and

certain situations, I can now do my best to avoid passing them on to my son through the way that I parent him. I can now recognize the difference between a tantrum and a lack of emotional regulation. Like if he's struggling to regulate his emotion, because he's a fucking three year old, as they all do, and I treat it like a tantrum, I leave him alone with his emotions or I try to punish him or

I treat it as such. He's going to learn. Dad can't handle my emotions. Dad doesn't like me when I have emotions. My emotions are not safe. So bottle that shit up. And then you extrapolate that into when he becomes an adult who no wonder then has anger issues, suppresses all his emotions, can't feel vulnerable or talk, feel his emotions.

Harrison Orr (25:19.948)
without feeling like he's worthless, has to go into people pleasing mode because he has to be what other people want him to be. Otherwise he doesn't feel liked, he doesn't feel loved, he doesn't feel safe. And then he's got to do all this work himself because I passed it on to him unknowingly. And so we get to then change the next generation by being better parents by the way that we show up in ourselves, the way that we show up

as partners because the way that we interact with our, our wife, our partner has a huge impact on our kids on how they get role modeled, what love looks like, how you receive, how you give, how you interact, how you communicate, how you treat each other, how you navigate differences, hard conversations, how you do life together. Like that's a huge one, especially for men more so with

with Go Dads.

How would you feel if your daughter grew up to marry a man that showed up just like you?

Harrison Orr (26:35.618)
with the level of emotional regulation that you have with the way that you lead or don't lead your partner, the level of maybe stress that you put her under by not making decisions and doing all these things. The way that you're, the quality of life that your wife has, not quality of life, the, how happy and stress free or calm or whatever the relationship that you have right now with your wife. How would you feel if your daughter was in a marriage like that?

Would you be stoked for her? Would you be happy? Or would you be wanting her to do better?

Harrison Orr (27:15.788)
Not an easy one to sit with.

Harrison Orr (27:20.0)
for your son. How proud would you be if your son turned out exactly like you?

with all the strengths, all the traits, the way that he handles emotions, the way that he expresses and receives love, the way that he handles conversations, like hard conversations.

Harrison Orr (27:41.282)
Would you be proud or would you wish he did better?

Harrison Orr (27:46.882)
And so everything that we're not addressing, is the power in this is like now that you know, you can't unknow it because everything that you see, all the traits that you see in yourself now, if you, if we don't address them, we will pass them on to our kids. We will pass them on in the way that we show up day in day out, what we roll model, not what we tell them, but the way that we show up, the way that we behave, the way that we

handle their emotions, the way that we handle our own emotions. One of the ones that I've been working on recently is the wanting the approval of my dad. That's something that I've done a lot of work in and I've made a lot of leeway on and consciously I know that he expresses his love in certain ways that he based on his experiences.

in life, in childhood and everything that he doesn't have the emotional capacity to like, he's just not that type of guy. Right. He grew up with two other brothers. His dad was in the war very manly, you know, in that time wasn't very manly to hug another man to even say I love you or not just to a to a to another man family or not. But even the I see the way that he expresses love to my mom. It's

It's, it looks awkward a lot of the time. And so I know it's not me, but there's still that part of me that's like, I'm just yearning for that, that validation, that approval to say that I'm proud of you, that I love you and things like that. And so that's something that, that I work, that I work on. I'm almost there and it's something, but that's changed the way that, that I show up for my son. Right. So the part of this journey as well is depending on whatever the relationship with

you have with your parents is not to, to, banish them or to say that they didn't do good enough, that they were bad, that there were all these things. It's getting to the point of, of gratitude and neutrality of I love mom and dad. know they did the best that they could with what they have. And I still had some needs that weren't met, but you can have both truth.

Harrison Orr (30:10.998)
That's the most mature thing, think, the most, the highest level of emotional intelligence is being able to hold both truths, is I know mum and dad love me. I know they did the best that they could.

and I still had emotional needs that didn't get met. And that hurt. Doesn't mean that mom and dad hurt me, but it hurt. And then we get to address those.

Harrison Orr (30:39.544)
bringing that down into our relationship, we can then see that we can have our partner can have her truth of how she experienced what we said. And then what we said in our intention by saying it can be polar opposites. We were well intended. She took it as, an attack or being rude, whatever it was. And they can both be right. And then we can seek to understand so that we can see each other's perspective and not.

be, well, I meant it this way. So you're wrong in experiencing it that way and causing a fight out of it. It's like, both have our experience. We can understand they can both be right. But how do we see each other's perspectives and then either change or just move forward in just validating that experience. But then back to the parenting thing, I now get to because of this understanding of all these parts in this work.

get to massively change the way that I parent my son. So as a result of that, he doesn't go a single day without hearing, love you and I'm proud of you. emotional. I handle things significantly differently because of the understanding of where these parts came from for me. And also letting wanting him to do better. it's not, this work is not just limited to our own

little bubble like that's that's the impact of this. And that's why this this feels like my life's mission, right? This to be a bit more esoteric or this. I've never felt more aligned in my life. Like I felt the experience of how amazing I feel how authentic I feel having done a lot of this work. And the work will never be complete, right? No human is perfect or ever done. So it'll be a lifelong process, but I've never felt more me.

which sounds like a weird thing to say. And I know that's been the buzz, the, one of the buzzwords of social media for a while, especially if you're in the business space and personal branding space, people say like, well, know, AI is taking over content and all this, all this stuff. The only way to stand out is to be fucking human and, and be authentic. But so many people that have been operating from these protective parts for so long, the people, please, the, the defensive part, the performer, the, the intellectual part, like all these things.

Harrison Orr (33:06.274)
They say like, yeah, okay. What the fuck does it mean to be authentic?

Like, we'll just be you. What do you mean? How do I like just be, what does it like to be you when no one's around? Like, well, I don't know. I have moods. Like, I don't understand what you mean. And so unless you have a felt experience of that, it's kind of like, I don't, it sounds good, but what is it? And a client asked me this the other day because I was, I was just explaining this and I was saying the, the goal in this work or the direction we're headed is that you don't follow a script.

with your partner. Like when you're in this self-energy, when you're being authentic, you don't have to know exactly what to say, you just say it. Like you're so present in feeling what's happening that you intuitively know what to say and how to navigate it. And then you can learn from that and then you get better over time, but you don't take it personally. You're in the moment of what it needs, not because you're performing for it, but because you're in your body in present.

The example that I gave to him, which made so much sense to him and lit him up that I want to share because if it still seems quite vague to you, then maybe this will, this will land. I asked him to think about the happiest, one of the happiest moments in his life. And for some people it might be when you get married, when your kid was born or like maybe you won a competition, or you won your biggest deal in your business, you hit a milestone, whatever it was. For him, it was when he

won his pro card bodybuilding. And I was like, cool, what were you doing in the moment? He's like, I've, was jumping up and down when I was pumping my fist in the air, I was cheering and then like, I was just so ecstatic. I fell to my knees and just, just feeling everything. It was like amazing.

Harrison Orr (34:59.202)
What were you thinking? He's like, not much. Like, you know, how fucking good is this? did it like amazing. Yeah, perfect. You're not thinking much. You're feeling. was like, did you have to think about pumping your fist in the air? Did you have to think about, you know, jumping up and down? Did you have to think about, you know, falling to your knees and doing all the things? Did you have to consciously make that decision?

And he's like, no, I'm like, exactly.

because you were so present, because you were being authentic in that moment, that what came out was that expression of you and that emotion in that moment. And when we trust that.

then we get to live life. Then we get to truly connect with our partner, with our kids and have moments that are felt, not just thought. And we don't have to worry about saying the right thing or getting it wrong. We can just live from that space and living from that space. More and more recently has felt so liberating and freeing, not having to worry about what other people think, not having to filter my words about getting it right or getting it wrong and just

feeling that and that lights me up so much in how much that's changed for me and my relationship and my parenting and even seeing that in my clients and in our calls and getting to share that energy with other people and getting them having that experience with their wife and their kids. And I've never felt more aligned in myself and also my mission. And that's why this is my mission to help

Harrison Orr (36:39.802)
millions of men to experience this, to break those patterns, update those parts, live from this level of identity for themselves, for their marriage, for their kids, because I wholeheartedly believe that if every man, every married man, every father got to his version of this, we would all raise better sons. We would all raise better daughters.

we would then have a generation of better human beings, which there is not a single thing on this planet that does not benefit from that level of, of change, like everything. And I think that's one of the, one of the reasons why the world is so fucked up right now is because there is, there's so much disconnect between the parents and kids and society and, and all these things and people.

Kids don't know who they are. They don't know how to think. They don't know how to feel. get told by social media and not even going into the conspiracy theories of the manipulation of social media and blue lights and screens and vaccines and everything else. Like not touching that rabbit hole for today. But what a difference it would make.

And even in love, think about the lives that would be changed in your life. If you showed up that way, if you did this work for yourself, if you operated from your highest potential and you carry that energy into your, into your marriage, into your fatherhood, into your business, into your, purpose and the way that you move through life, how many other people would be. impacted. Like, yes, your immediate family.

What about the people that at work, your employees, your, your co-founders, your business partners, your clients, all those people that get to be impacted. And then this level just like, it's like ripples and then waves throughout the entire world.

Harrison Orr (38:49.026)
That's fucking powerful.

That is, is real impact. And that's the impact that, that I'm here to make. Cause that lights me the fuck up and it enables me to go through so much, maybe stress and drive and doing all these things because I wholeheartedly believe that cause I feel that. And if I could give that, give that feeling and that experience to, to as many people as possible, I, I will die a happy man. I will die fulfilled and, and

even more grateful man from being able to provide that level of service.

Harrison Orr (39:33.868)
Now I think I got on a bit of a tangent, but that's all right. If doing this work is something that you're open to, you may be dabbling in, literally this week, I haven't done this before, but literally just this week, I opened the school community to free, to men that want to do this work, men that want to do this deep root cause identity level work, the community that's

I house that that I work with clients in is now open to, to men that fit that caliber. And so yes, there's still the private section for, for my clients and everything, but there's now the community aspect, which, which I believe will help me to impact these lives as, as many as possible on some caliber as well. If you want to check that out, the link is in, in the show notes and that's a bit of a gift. There's

No charge to that. There's no play in that. It's just more resources to help you out on this journey, no matter where you're at. So thank you for listening to my journey, listening to a bit of my mission and my aspirations in this. And I hope something from this has stood out and maybe clicked to you for what you need to take action on, what you need to really address in your life that's going to have the biggest impact.

so that you're not wasting your time and energy and money and spinning your wheels on band-aid fixes and can get to the root cause of what needs to change so that you can spend as much time of your life at this level of change, at the level of marriage that you wanna have, at the level of father that you wanna be, at the level of man and human being.

that you have the capacity and capability to be.

Harrison Orr (41:35.096)
So thank you. Don't be sorry. Be better. Bye.