How Reiki Can Help Boost Your Fertility, with Carolina Sotomayor

Welcome to another episode of Limitless Health, where we delve into empowering conversations and valuable insights for a healthier life. In this episode, we have the pleasure of speaking with Carolina Sotomayor, a fertility Reiki Wound healer, as she shares inspiring stories and practical wisdom.

Join hosts Amanda Golightly and Kate McDowell as they explore the significance of emotional safety, inner child healing, and the impact of words on identity. From advocating for oneself in healthcare decisions to setting boundaries and the influence of emotions on fertility, this episode delves into profound topics that resonate with individuals navigating their health journey. Tune in as we uncover the power of healing, the importance of connections, and the transformative potential of being mindful of our emotions.

Guest Bio:
Carolina Sotomayor is a fertility Reiki Wound healer based in Omaha, Nebraska, but serving women all over the world. She is the founder of Make A Baby Membership, a monthly membership providing Reiki zoom calls, meditations and pre-recorded healing modules/masterclasses.  She has helped over 100 women conceive using the energy healing modality of Reiki, which also helped her conceive her own son. Carolina is passionate about teaching women how to use Reiki for themselves and believes in the power of life force energy to heal and create life.

Key Highlights:

• Carolina emphasized the importance of being mindful of emotions and making decisions based on how they make you feel, focusing on inner child healing and establishing emotional safety.
• She highlighted the impact of identity work, ancestral trauma, and addressing emotional wounds for healing.
• Carolina advocated for understanding one's body and fertility patterns, communicating openly with healthcare providers, and being an advocate for one's own health.
• The hosts discussed the significance of setting boundaries and prioritizing emotional well-being for improved fertility and overall health.

Timestamped Overview:
00:00 Creation portal impacts emotional, physical well-being.
06:10 Reiki practice focused on helping women.
07:54 Healing, identity work, emotional safety, mind-body connection.
10:51 Great questions about identity and parenting roles.
14:07 Overcoming childhood identity, embracing adult beliefs confidently.
19:13 Exposure to new ways of living is valuable.
23:38 Seek knowledge about your body and health.
26:24 Understanding fertility plan before invasive treatments necessary.
30:25 Practice advocating for yourself and finding strength.
33:45 Assess fertility, goals, emotions, and make changes.
37:27 Setting boundaries for healthier conversations with family.
39:21 Careful with sensitive friend, frame actions for happiness.
42:44 Launching online program with flu, overcoming fear.
45:55 Overcoming perfectionism and finding peace as a mother.
49:02 Express gratitude, connect with Carolina, seek feedback.

What's Next?
We encourage you to reach out to Carolina Sotomayor for support, resources, and valuable insights on fertility, postpartum experiences, and emotional well-being.
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thecarolinasotomayor
Website:   https://carolinasotomayor.com 
Email:  hello@carolinasotomayor.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecarolinasotomayor/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolinasotomayorrei

*** This podcast is for information purposes only. By providing the information contained herein, we are not diagnosing, treating, curing, mitigating, or preventing any disease or medical condition. Before beginning any type of natural regimen, it is advisable to seek the advice of a licensed healthcare professional. 

Transcript

Amanda Golightly [00:00:00]:
We believe in growth and continuous learning.

Kate McDowell [00:00:03]:
We believe in educating and sharing knowledge.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:06]:
We believe the body is miraculous and is able to heal with the proper nutrition and support.

Kate McDowell [00:00:11]:
And we believe the right mindset is key to your success. I'm Amanda Galightly. And I'm Kate McDowell. And this is limitless health.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:19]:
Live well naturally. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. Today, we're diving into a topic that is so important for women out there, fertility. But instead of focusing on just symptoms, we're going to look at the bigger picture. We've got a fantastic guest who's going to share her insights on how finding the root cause can make a real difference. Let's jump right in. So today, we're excited to have Carolinas today. She's got tons of experience in helping people shift their focus from just managing symptoms to truly transforming their health by understanding what's really going on underneath.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:55]:
Welcome, Carolina. Could you start by sharing a little bit about yourself and your journey for us?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:01:01]:
Sure. Hi. I'm Carolina Sotomayor. I'm a fertility Reiki Wound healer, and I am based in the Midwest. I am in Omaha, Nebraska, but I serve women online all over the world, helping them heal their wounds using, energy healing called Reiki. And this modality is what helped me conceive my son who's now almost 8, and we have a total of a 103 Reiki babies to date, be conceived. And we're just serving women, teaching them how to do Reiki for themselves. Reiki is the life force energy that is already existing within you, that makes you alive, that makes the grass grow, the trees grow.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:01:46]:
And harnessing this energy complements anything you're already doing in your medical treatment plans or what you're already doing in your fertility. It's not gonna interfere with any medications. And I find that it is a very strategic way to heal because it's not only healing your physical tissue, but it's also healing your mind and your spirit. And it works with any religion or no religion. As long as the person is wanting Reiki, then it was it's a good fit for them. And what I have done is I've harnessed it for the womb, particularly. We do work with all of the energy center centers, which are called your chakras, but we are particularly focused on the womb. Because in my in my practice and what I've seen through my healing career is that it all goes back to the womb for women.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:02:38]:
That is our our portal to creation, creating everything that you have in your life. It is where your emotional reservoir is that that particular energy center is not only in charge of your sensuality, your libido, your sexuality, your reproductive organs, is also in charge of your emotional wellness, your security, your emotional safety, your emotional receptivity. Like how much are you open to feeling your emotions? And if this particular energy center is not open and flowing, meaning it's blocked or if it's imbalanced, we're gonna have physical signs of that imbalance or that blockage such as hormonal imbalance, a lack of a period, maybe too much bleeding, maybe we're going to have, PCOS or endometriosis, or we might even have other, we might have, pelvic floor issues, lower back pain. So our whenever you have a physical pain in your body, that is a telltale sign that there's an emotional blockage stuck in your tissue. Ricky goes in and removes that and allows you to feel lighter, healthier, and restores that tissue to a higher vibration. So my approach is the more that we can feel heal up front with particular wounds that I have found to be patterns that are like these the most common blockages, the easier fertility, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum will be. The less complicated they potentially could be because there's less energy stuck in your tissues. There's less stuck, stagnant energy that could potentially, causes, really vulnerable experiences, really treasured experiences to go sideways.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:04:29]:
I know this because that's essentially how all of my life experiences into motherhood, they went sideways. And it is from those experiences that I have crafted this philosophy and really solidly base my practice on is the more that we can heal up front, the easier it can be. It doesn't mean things won't go wrong. It doesn't mean it's just that you're gonna be more prepared also, to handle those situations because there's just less to clog the drain or clog the experience. And my postpartum, that's when everything kind of, I like to say like, interrupted like a volcano. I had an abortion in my twenties. I'm very open about that and it can be very triggering for women who do wanna get pregnant. I had, I had an assault in my twenties.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:05:21]:
I was molested when I was 5. I've had a lot of physical abuse. I've had physical womb trauma. And it was not until in my postpartum that all of this particularly erupts. My childhood trauma was very much prevalent and I did therapy for that. But, like, these other things when I was already vulnerable, when I was trying to be a brand new mom, trying to work through that, Reiki is really alongside talk therapy and regular check ins with my midwife. It was what carried me through and allowed me to recover. It was a very dark time in my life, and it was like, women need to know that there is something that can make them feel grounded against the darkness, against the mess.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:06:10]:
And that's really what started my Reiki practice was wanting to help women in postpartum. But then as I healed more, I was like, well, we could do we can prevent so much if we get to the before part. And women who go in as first time moms don't know what really positive experiences they can have until usually after the fact. Like they didn't put on, oh, I'm interested and curious about birth until like 2 weeks, 3 weeks before birth. And that's very common, especially if there's infertility issues. There's so much fear that can plague a person, and robbing them of, like, okay. I'm just gonna keeping them in survival mode versus we can get you into healing mode, and you can have a more regulated nervous system to have emotional capacity to see what else you can have. Like, what other things positive like, you don't have to suffer.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:07:05]:
Like, now once you're pregnant, okay, you need to shift your identity. I'm a pregnant mom. I'm not a a person that struggles with infertility and helping them transition to, okay, now I'm a pregnant mom who's preparing for birth. And this actually could be something really positive. And so there's there's the healing doesn't stop once you get pregnant. It's also then preparing you to be the kind of parent you want to be, and introducing those ideas. But getting them to a place where they have emotional capacity to do that. Yeah.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:07:39]:
Amazing.

Kate McDowell [00:07:40]:
You mentioned there's so many things from that, but I wanna dig into a bit more, but you mentioned that there's some common energy blockages that you see

Carolina Sotomayor [00:07:50]:
in terms

Kate McDowell [00:07:50]:
of fertility. Are there some that you can share with us?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:07:54]:
Oh, absolutely. So for me, I used to say the father and mother wounds were the most important to heal if you're trying to conceive, particularly if you have endo or PCOS or, no period or if you're not ovulating. Those were the number one things. Now for me, it is establishing I I have reversed that. I've done so much inner child healing. I I recently completed a program in inner child healing for entrepreneurs to show up more authentically online. I was like, I need to bring this into my programs. So now the number one thing is identity work is, do you have a connection with yourself, and how can we make you feel emotionally safe within yourself? Let's identify your triggers that are making you what do you react to? What's making you angry? Establishing that relationship with yourself first and wanting to have a connection with the mind, body, spirit.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:08:48]:
Because sometimes people can't feel their emotions. They can't name them, and that is a problem. So we start really small there, and then we go into, okay. What is your inner child need whenever you are triggered, and building up to that. Then we'll work on the father and mother wound. Because emotional safety, if I can make you feel safe, we can make healing happen so much easier. You'll also make different experiences and choices if you feel safe versus if you feel stuck, if you feel frightened or fearful. So also teaching them like, okay, what do I just identifying their emotions and switching into emotional safety and identifying emotionally safe people in their lives and who is not, and then navigating through that, how they feel empowered to do so.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:09:38]:
Mother wound, father wound is huge after that. Ancestral, sometimes, like, the need to control, or there could be, sexual abuse is a huge one that is very often in the ancestral line. There's a lot of things that people carry that is not theirs, but they think it's theirs. And it when we identified it was like, okay, who else has this pattern? Who else has this the need to control or an understanding that the need to control is just really they feel insecure because they feel unsafe themselves. There was a need that was not met, meaning they didn't feel like they belong. They didn't feel that they were safe, or maybe they didn't feel like they were loved. Those are like the three root causes of all the wounds. Yeah.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:10:22]:
And, there is also losses if you've experienced any losses. Also sexual experiences. Was there any unwanted or unpleasurable experiences that we need to heal? That also goes into our power wound and pleasure wound. Is there any any particular trauma or any particular memories where you felt like you lost your power and consequently can make you lose your voice?

Amanda Golightly [00:10:51]:
Interesting. Those are some great questions to ask. And I think even just if you could ask other parents to be your current parents, like, what does this remind you of? You're just getting the patterning, as you mentioned, in the life, in their life rather. You've also touched on something that I thought was very, very crucial as far as anything you experience in life, and that was identity. And then what the label that you're placing on yourself and the one you decide to use can either bring a lot of positive aspects or maybe depending on your perspective, negative aspects. And I like how you were really kind of framing that to be a positive one as I'm going to be like you. I think the one you referenced was a mother who's going to have be having a baby shortly. Not that in those words, but just, I guess, for them to be able to take on that role a little bit more so in a positive way.

Amanda Golightly [00:11:47]:
And just that's, I think that's really, really important for not just probably this journey, but any journey in your, in your, in your health and your life.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:11:56]:
Yeah. I I've always focused on shadow work and that's very like popular in the spiritual world. Like it's a very, like, buzzword. Right? But I had a business mentor last year, and she's like, have you done any identity work? And I was like, girl, I am a professional healer. I've never heard that.

Kate McDowell [00:12:12]:
What are

Carolina Sotomayor [00:12:12]:
you talking about? And she's like, identity work because you need to do some. And I was saying, okay. She's like, you serve people so big and with so much of your heart, but you don't use any descriptive words behind the noun. You're an entrepreneur, but what kind of entrepreneur are you? Are you heart focused? What kind of business do you run? And I was like I was like, I don't know. A really good one. A really good one. She's like, that's not good enough. That's go deeper because I'm a soulful person and I am a deep person, but, like, I wasn't using descriptive words to describe me.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:12:47]:
Like, what kind of mom am I? And, I said, I'm a really courageous one. I'm a very bold one. She said, there you go. So, like, now I describe my business as I I run a generosity based business. I am a heart centered healer, or a, sometimes I say a wound focused healer because wound is already in the title. So sometimes I just say heart focused. But then I, I sat with this and I've been real and then when I went into my inner child work, I was like, okay. You know, a lot of sits in what happens in our childhood and a lot of our beliefs.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:13:24]:
Like my dad wasn't around, so I internalized that as, low self worth and abandonment and that I wasn't worth his time. So I translated that into choosing friends accordingly. So unconsciously because I knew what to expect and that kind of made me feel safer. I chose bad romantic partners until I learned, like, this sucks. And I need a, like, I need a different kind of guy. And then I met my husband and I'm like, wife me up. And here we are 10 years later. And I think that that's really important to look at is, like, you know, where what are you what are you picking up and what are you identifying as an and as an adult, I'm 41 now.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:14:07]:
I don't wanna identify as the poor girl that grew up in a trailer who had a single mom. I'm not the poor girl anymore. I am a solid financially secure 41 year old that is loved, and I am full of love and I love myself. So I think it's also really important to check-in is, like, where are your beliefs and where are they coming from? And are they currently as your adult self? Do you still agree with them? But on you have to un you have to dig them out. So I think it's really important to look at that is because your identity work is really rooted in your childhood and updating yourself almost like a reconciliation of like, okay. That happened when I was 7, but I am now 41. I am I don't wanna act or react or be triggered from a 7 year old self because that's the one that's serving the seat. I want 41 year 1 who is whole and grounded to be reacting with a pause and with a thought and you're like, Oh, that's not worth my time.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:15:07]:
I'm gonna let that emotion go. So the identity work, I actually did, I was meditating. I was like, okay, what are we going to do in August? And I have a membership. I'm like, what do we need? And a lot collectively is I'm still fearful. We've done all these healing. I've learned Reiki, but I'm still scared I'll never become a mom. So this week, actually, we're finishing up our we did fertility without fear. It's a 5 day healing experience, And I introduced ours is, do you identify as a fertile person? And then what does fertile mean to you? There's fertile soil, fertile imagination.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:15:44]:
Like what do you identify as fertile? And do you identify as infertile? Because there's so much about fertility that uses the word infertility. Like, so what do you identify as? And then I had them write their fertility story just like you would write your birth story, your postpartum story. What has been your fertility your fertility story up into this point? What patterns do you see? What words are you using? What do you want to change? What were you empowered by? Who was a really instrumental person in changing things for you if that happened? Like, tell a story. Some people could do it, they're not ready to, and some people can't. And that's okay. But then we were look like I introduced I was like, do identify as a have a fertile mind. And what does a fertile mind look for you? And it's so different, and it should be different based upon every person and their experience. I had a mom in the membership.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:16:38]:
She's trying for her second Reiki baby. And she had a kiddo was born premature and she said, a fertile mind is one that is secure knowing that I'm going to have a successful redemptive pregnancy and birth. And I was like, I had chills. I was like, redemptive. Yes. Like and I keep using that word throughout. I was like, that happened on Wednesday. And I was like, oh my God.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:17:07]:
This is the best description. I because there's so much power in words, and what word are we using? So identity work is super important to to look at is, like, what adjectives are we using? What descriptive words are we using to describe ourselves? Is it is it is it negative? Is it, like, describing yourself in a negative light? Like, I'm a loser, or, like, I'm never gonna get pregnant. But versus, like, okay. I'm a fertile mind, and then toning down the inner critic. Because what you identify as will definitely lend you to craft your next reality. People do that and, like, with visualization, athletes do it all of the time. So, like, if you identify as an infertile person, like, okay, how much how much impact is that gonna have on your fertility journey of having a negative pregnancy test this cycle? Yeah. Absolutely.

Kate McDowell [00:18:00]:
Absolutely. And, like, I mean, Amanda's a hypnotist, so we talk about this stuff Okay.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:18:05]:
There you go.

Kate McDowell [00:18:06]:
Fairly frequently, but it's the 95% of what you do on a daily basis is habit, and it's coming from your unconscious mind. And so, yeah, if you're thinking I'm infertile, I'm not. And it's those thoughts and beliefs. I love how you pulled up beliefs and how you may have that belief when you're 7 years old and the unconscious, a lot of stuff is programmed at that age in our life, but it's like, where did this belief come from? And is it true? And do I have to take it on? Right? Because if we're not questioning our beliefs and they're causing suffering in our lives, why can't we change that? If some people do, why can't you?

Amanda Golightly [00:18:44]:
Mhmm. And so

Kate McDowell [00:18:44]:
I think it's amazing the identity work that you do. It's that's so powerful for people. And, I mean, we see that with, in terms of health things as well. And I loved how you mentioned that the womb is more than just fertility. It's all kinds of other hormone stuff and, physical symptoms that people deal with. And in anything, it's like, what are you holding on to and believing as true, and why can't you change that? So I think that's amazing. I love the testimony.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:19:13]:
Sometimes people have never had a person bring this kind of conversation or work into the world. It's like, sometimes people hearing that, what do you mean I can feel different? What do you mean I can some some people have only known survival mode. Healing is actually a luxury. It's a privilege to have capacity and a pause. It is a choice, but I have run into a lot of people who just doesn't it just haven't had the space or even I run a lot of free circles and things like that too, but this might be the first time they're ever hearing that someone can do something differently. It's exposure to other ways of living too. Like, what do you mean? Or or as simple as me, I you know, I give you permission to be different. I give you permission to be the healer of your family.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:20:06]:
I give you it is okay that you can feel because I know that you're different than the rest of your family. Usually, there's that one person that feels everything else that other people can't, and they're the one that starts to ask why. And, like, okay. Come into my world. I will welcome you. You're gonna be normal over here. And I'll explain how to cope with everyone else that's a non feeler and you being the feeler. That means something.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:20:33]:
You're actually a psychic. I'm gonna teach you what to do with it. Like, you know, that's a clear ability. I promise it's gonna help you lead yourself. So, yeah. It's it's a lot to unpack sometimes.

Amanda Golightly [00:20:47]:
Crazy. Just as you said, not a lot of people are even asked these questions and it's amazing just to like shift awareness and bring awareness to what's available to them.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:20:58]:
Yes. Yes.

Amanda Golightly [00:20:59]:
That's like massive just to to think that you've only got one way to get to your destination when you've got multiple ways.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:21:06]:
Right.

Amanda Golightly [00:21:06]:
I think it's fantastic what you're doing with women.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:21:09]:
Thank you so much. I truly feel like I am actively living and have been living my life purpose for, for quite some time. And I'm looking very blessed to be doing it full time. I'm no longer incorporate, I left 3 years ago and, super happy to be serving women. It's there's nothing better than getting a screenshot of a positive pregnancy test or a voice note on Telegram. Oh my god. It took it's there. I'm pregnant.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:21:37]:
And I'm just like and then I scream to the rest of the house, There's another Ricky baby. And then we all like the dogs bark. We have 3 puppies and my son's like, yes. And my son is very well too comfortable with like womb and the buzzwords are Ricky. And like, he tells people, I make people's people think I'm a doctor when I go into meet, like, for a play date. No, no, no, no. I'm not a doctor. I am an energy healer.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:22:04]:
Sorry. But he says my mom helps people get pregnant.

Kate McDowell [00:22:09]:
Amazing. And I mean, we see it as well, but I'm sure you do too. Or sometimes people aren't at the place where they're ready to hear that this is possible, or they're ready to hear that they can do something different. And it's just the, like, sprinkling planting seeds sometimes. And then later, it just keeps repeating in their mind and they're like, I need to reach out to Carolina because I've been dealing with this for a long time and I'm not getting results from working with my doctor or whatever I'm doing. So, yeah, I think that's, it's so powerful what you share and your energy around it is amazing.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:22:43]:
Thank you. I appreciate that so much.

Kate McDowell [00:22:46]:
A lot of women are trying so many different things when it comes to fertility or if they're struggling to conceive. From your experience, what are some things they might be doing that actually could be getting in the way instead of helping?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:23:02]:
Doing too much and too much at once. I feel like society rewards if you have a long to do list or if there's a lot of external busy work. And I find that women try to throw so many things at fertility without even knowing their cycles, without even knowing their bodies, without even doing the investigation of knowing how long is your cycle. When I first started my podcast, I thought your period was just when you bled. Mhmm. And I learned that that is very much wrong. You have 4 seasons. You have 4 phases in your cycle.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:23:38]:
And I've had I had to like, so a lot of this education that I have learned over the past 2 years is because if I don't know this and then I asked my girlfriends. I'm like, did you know this? Did you know you're supposed to eat certain things when you're, like, bleeding and when you're not bleeding? Did you know you're, like, you're, like, your summer when you're ovulating and that's why we have more energy? No. If my if I didn't know and my girlfriend said no, I was like, then I guarantee you the clients that I'm serving don't know. And I think it's really critical to know your body and, know, like, optimally, what is your patterns? Are you is has your period gone from 28 days to 35 days? What were you doing? I I think it's really important to start really simple with choosing a good doctor that you can talk to. The things for me that I have success with and I've seen people get pregnant easier and faster is they keep things simple. Good communication with your doctor, openness with your partner or whoever you're conceiving with, or if you're doing it alone, and empowerment. If you feel scared, ask yourself why you're feeling scared and cannot be resolved, or do you need to change situations or set boundaries, like, wherever that may be. If your doctor's not listening to you, get a new one.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:24:55]:
There's so many of them. Your medical team is a huge part of your support and you feeling secure in what you're doing. Ask the questions, and you can always switch providers. You're the ones in charge, and this is a really important mindset to adapt before you're pregnant or even while you are pregnant. The doctors work for you. You're the one that's writing the check for this. You're the one that can decide what you're going to do with your body. So I would probably not do Mucinex and all the fads on TikTok, and I would really put my energy at knowing optimally what is my cycle, what are my hormone levels, and where is my diet and nutrition to support these things? Because a lot can be corrected with those things that don't cost a lot of money.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:25:43]:
Like, your diet is your choice in what that really can influence a lot. Hormone disruption, like fragrances, things like that. And when I tell people, they're like, I love my perfume. I was like, yeah. But

Kate McDowell [00:25:55]:
Your thyroid doesn't.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:25:56]:
Effing with your hormones.

Amanda Golightly [00:25:58]:
Yeah.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:25:58]:
And your fabric softener. I'm sorry. Vinegar will do it. I'm a promise you. Vinegar is gonna do really nice things for for your towels. So it's little changes like that that add up and being mindful of what is going into your body. So you're and I feel like if you're doing too much, it's gonna make you crazy. It's gonna make you feel super frustrated when they all don't work out, or if something did work out and made a difference, you're not gonna know what moved the needle.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:26:24]:
So I think it's really important in for me is it's having a fertility plan just like you would have a birth plan and knowing, like, okay. What are the next steps if this doesn't work out? You just need to know what the next maybe 1 or 2 steps are if so that you feel at least a little bit more grounded in, like, knowing what will happen next. But I feel like when people do acupuncture and they do the herbs and then they come to me and then they're going and, they're they're gonna do IVF right away and but they don't even know how long their cycle is or there's been an absence of a period and they don't know why they don't have a period. I'm like and this is just my opinion in just saying how many IVFs fail. If you don't have a healthy cycle yet and we don't know why you don't have a healthy cycle, why are we doing IVF now? And I'm not a doctor, but sometimes we rush into these really invasive things without having answers. And sometimes if our wounds are not healthy and they're not supported in all the ways that they need to be, they don't stick. So, that's just my observation. I am not a doctor.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:27:35]:
Always speak to your team. That's my my disclaimer. But that just seemed to so many women that have worked with. And when they don't work out and they still they spend 20, $3,000 on a cycle, and they're left with such an empty feeling with no baby and still no answers and a lot of debt. So I I feel like starting first, like, knowing your cycle, getting good nutrition, that can really make a difference. I think it's often overlooked and it's fast. Sometimes you can get fast tracked and not get answers. You deserve answers.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:28:10]:
Ask the questions. Mhmm.

Amanda Golightly [00:28:13]:
I think that's really I'm gonna I'm taking us back a little bit. Something really important you said about your doctor that you choose. They work for you. A lot of people go in and think that they're the one that has all the answers. And I must listen to what they tell me. I must take whatever medications they say I should take or whatever it is. And it's very important to kind of switch, switch gears with that a bit and know that ultimately you have the decision to make whatever it is that's best for you. They're just giving you information.

Amanda Golightly [00:28:48]:
Absolutely. And I think it's very important to kind of touch on again, just to know that you have the ability. This is way more empowering to make that decision for yourself a lot rather than giving it away to someone else.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:29:01]:
A 100%. You are your biggest advocate, and the sooner you can activate that advocacy and that discernment, it's gonna make you an even better parent. Because you're I think about when I when I have really soft spoken women Mhmm. I was like, I need you to practice because one day, your kiddo was most likely gonna get bullied or have conflict at school, and you're not gonna just let them be like, it's okay. You'll get over it. You're gonna go to battle. You're gonna be mama bear. You get to activate mama bear now because this is in pursuit of this.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:29:35]:
Like, activate this. And they're like, I didn't even think about that. I was like, yeah. My kiddo had a bully in kindergarten. Guess what? I rolled up to that school, and I sat in the principal's office. Let's handle this shit. Like and if you think about this person is, like, just pushing you and you feel like you're being pushed, push back or walk out. There's That's

Amanda Golightly [00:29:54]:
actually a great conversation to have with them because then that sets up the modeling for the kid to see how things are handled and Absolutely. Have to know that someone has their back. Their most important family unit, they have my back. I am safe with them.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:30:08]:
Right. My son hears that for sure. I'm like, that's not your problem to handle. He goes, please just take it down a notch before you go in. I'm like, okay. I will. I never yell at anyone, but I've been told I'm intimidating when I'm mad. That's how my problem does.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:30:25]:
So strong women. So, I think also it's really important if you are a soft person, soft spoken person, or a timid person, also understand it takes practice to advocate for yourself and to have a strong voice. I didn't get this way instantly. I was the quiet kid when I was little, and I was told to be quiet because my mom didn't like noise. So and she was overstimulated a lot. So for if the first conversation is awkward, that's normal. That's expected to happen, especially if you're, like, challenging and the and they've if in all of their appointments that you've had and you've never asked questions or pushed back on something, expect them to be an awkward moment. Expect it to feel awkward for you, but you did it.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:31:16]:
It'll be easier the second time. It's like going to the gym. You have to exercise that muscle.

Amanda Golightly [00:31:20]:
Yeah. I

Carolina Sotomayor [00:31:21]:
think it's really important to know is, like, is it gonna be eloquent when you first assert your your advocacy and your practice of that? Or you say no? Expect it to be awkward or messy, but that is okay, and it's very normal. It'll get easier with time.

Amanda Golightly [00:31:38]:
Makes sense too, because depending on who you're speaking with, maybe it's new for them too. So they they're

Carolina Sotomayor [00:31:43]:
Yes. Yes. Thrown off by

Amanda Golightly [00:31:44]:
the new interaction with you.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:31:47]:
Yeah. Yes. It is, and it's okay. Just hold your ground.

Amanda Golightly [00:31:52]:
Mhmm.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:31:52]:
It's okay to for there to be moments of silence.

Kate McDowell [00:31:56]:
And you're teaching your kids too, right, that boundaries are okay, that it's okay to stand up for yourself. And, yeah, it often does. Like, I've, in the past, set boundaries with my parents, and it was challenging for them at first, but then they were like, oh, like, I can say no when there's something that I don't wanna do. Okay. And then you start to see the ripple effect that'll happen. We're in Canada. So in Canada, health care is a little bit different here. So I know a lot of people are concerned about saying no to their doctor because it's very high hard to find another one here.

Kate McDowell [00:32:32]:
Oh.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:32:33]:
So how do you navigate that?

Kate McDowell [00:32:35]:
Sorry?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:32:36]:
How do you navigate that well?

Kate McDowell [00:32:39]:
I mean, still just stand up for yourself is kind of the best thing you can do. You can always say no if they're looking to do something that doesn't feel right or that doesn't feel comfortable for you. And there are other options when it comes to getting tests done and stuff. There can be a longer wait here and people do have the opportunity as well-to-go-to-the US if they want to get something done.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:33:01]:
I saw a trend of Canadians going to Mexico for certain medical treatments because they didn't wanna wait. Yeah. I saw that on TikTok. I was like, I had no idea about, I have a few Canadian clients, and I just didn't know the trials that you have to go through or the the long wait. I just had no clue. With the US, it's so different. You know, we don't have

Kate McDowell [00:33:27]:
Especially for women here. True. It's an MRI, you could be waiting a year.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:33:31]:
And things could be going sideways.

Kate McDowell [00:33:33]:
It's crazy. Okay. So if someone's listening right now and thinking, I wanna get to the root of my fertility issues, What are some simple lifestyle changes that they can make that's gonna help?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:33:45]:
The first thing is I would wanna know what is with your fertility. What are your goals? Getting pregnant obviously, is the ultimate end goal. But what do you wanna feel during this process? And is there anything about your life that you really don't like? There is a couple of things. Like, if you don't feel happy at your job or if you're not happy in your partnership or marriage, if there's anything that makes you feel unsettled, uneasy, I want you to do, like, kind of an inventory list. And I want you to think, okay. With the inventory list, I don't like this. And what's the emotion associated with that? These are the things that are kind of, like, easy hanging fruit or low hanging fruit as from the corporate buzzwords, but those are the things we need to easily clean up. Or is there anything that we can do to do a mind mindset change? Like, okay.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:34:34]:
I don't like my job currently, but it has great maternity leave, has great benefits. I mean, like, okay. Then I'm just gonna sit in the space that I'm super grateful for this job. It sucks. People maybe are not friendly or whatever maybe, but I'm gonna stay here until I get maternity leave. Because if I start over and I get pregnant right now, I'm not gonna depending on what your laws are of your country. And then I'm going to start looking for a job at some point. But I'm gonna stay here because maybe you get maternity leave for 6 months.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:35:05]:
Maybe in US, it's a very like, sometimes you don't have any and it's unpaid. Whereas some, like, I had a 4 month paid maternity leave with my 2 companies ago when I had Ollie or when I had my son. So, you have to look and be like, okay. And this can help assemble a plan. May it be perfect? No. Okay. But what is my next step to get to where I wanna go? Identifying really where you are as your reality, as your baseline can keep you grounded as you move through fertility. Knowing what you wanna feel through your fertility journey is, like, do you wanna feel more joy? And people don't ask this.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:35:41]:
Like, what do you wanna feel? Because if you wanna feel more joy, more grateful, or more hope, or happiness, then we also then need to make sure it's like, okay. And that's gonna keep you all also at a higher vibration and keep your womb most likely more open. If you're happy, you're feeling joy, most likely your womb energetically is gonna be more open. If your womb is open, you have a higher chance of conceiving. But if your womb is blocked and closed, you're not gonna conceive. Also, if you are happier, you're also gonna be probably more connected to your partner. In that case, also, we also know that it's gonna be easier to conceive if you're having orgasms, which means it would lend you to have a better intimacy connection with your husband or partner if you're, you know, a heterosexual couple. And then that's gonna lend you to also get it just makes things easier, like, ripple effects.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:36:35]:
So I ask, like, where are you at now? Take an inventory list of what you're feeling. What do you wanna feel? And then look at, okay. From there, is there any relationships that I don't feel good that make me feel emotionally unsafe? Emotionally unsafe could be like, I feel triggered. I feel gaslit. Or it could just be as small as, I feel gross every time I leave their house, or I feel I can't put my finger on it, but it just makes me feel uneasy. That is that can be under the bucket of emotionally unsafe. Then you get to decide, do I want this person in my life, no contact? Do I wanna put boundaries, or would it make me safer if I went with a friend? You get to decide how you interact with people. And, that's how we would eliminate or handle emotionally safe people.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:37:27]:
Do we need to put boundaries with some people? Sometimes people will have conversations with, like, if their dad is triggering to them and their dad isn't gonna be the source that makes their wound close because their dad is, like, maybe the trigger for them, but their mom gives them updates, they might say, hey, mom. I love talking to you, but I would really appreciate if you could just, like, not give me the dad updates. You don't have to explain why and be like, I would rather really focus on your knitting or your hobbies or your travels or your conversations you have with nana or your sister, whatever. You're allowed to put boundaries around conversations to make them safer for you. My mom and I talk about cooking. We've had a really hard relationship, but we're in a really great place. She does she's not allowed to give comments about my parenting because I don't value her opinion with that. And, we talk a lot about the weather and her illnesses.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:38:24]:
So, or what I'm doing in my business, and she still thinks you have to pay for YouTube. Well, how is your YouTube going? Can or my pod that's fantastic, Carolina. Can I hear it on the radio? What station is that? I'm like, no. It's not. But, like, you know, things like that. Like, you can put like, my mom was an emotionally triggering person, and she was an abuser in my life. We've done a lot of emotional work, but we decided, and I was very honest, and she's never had these conversations with anyone else. Like, I feel safer.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:38:56]:
We can just talk about these things. I don't wanna talk about these things with you because they make me feel really sad. Mhmm. And they trigger me. And I don't want you to feel sad, and I don't wanna have arguments with you. And I don't wanna have to repeat myself, and I really wanna have a good relationship with you. What are some things that you would like to talk about with me? It works both ways. My my relationship with my mom is now emotionally safe, where I can have those hard conversations.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:39:21]:
And I'm also very careful of how I word it because she gets wounded easily. She's a very has a victim mentality. So I have to be very careful so that she doesn't ghost for 3 or 4 days. And I know that she's hurting. Very careful. So I would look at again, just to repeat myself is what are you feeling currently and who's making you feel that way or what situations? What do you wanna feel? And then from that, I would frame every decision. So if you wanna feel more joy, I would frame as this at the forefront of the every decision that you make is this gonna bring me more joy or not? Or if you're trying to do less of something because if you're trying to do less people pleasing, is this am I gonna be making a people pleasing decision right now? Yes or no? Okay. Do I need a check? And then make a decisions that way.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:40:12]:
When you're mindful of what you're feeling, your wound's gonna be open because you're feeling your emotions. And then you can also decide and tell people what you need. But if you can't feel your emotions, you can't tell people really what you need. And that's what moves the needle. It's simple. And then if you when you're ready, you can go into, okay, what do I need to heal with my father relationship? What is my mother relationship? What do I need to do for my inner child? Do I feel connected to my inner child? That's Those

Amanda Golightly [00:40:42]:
are amazing questions. Allow yourself to be able to ask those questions and then have those conversations, especially with parents. Because I know sometimes like myself and probably others listening, that can be kind of that, how do I do that? Yeah. Just, just even saying what you said, I think will be very empowering for people to know that that is something they can look at and they can address.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:41:03]:
Yeah. And it doesn't have to be like all of that is like personal decisions. But it's not easy for a lot of people to look at your in the mirror and be like, I don't I I feel fine. I feel fine. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Really? Are you good? Like, if you're using fine, like, we we don't use the word fine in our house.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:41:25]:
It's a cover up word. It's not allowed. I'm like, nope. Nope. Nope. Like, you would tell me later, but I'll be here when you're ready to talk. I always if you're trying to conceive, go on dates with your spouse, your partner. I honestly feel like it's very easy if you are married that you can stop living life.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:41:49]:
And because and I have gone to a ton of marriage conferences, religious and non religious. And that's been like the secret to our marriage is we never stop dating each other. You know? And I I think that's really important because on a date, you talk about things differently. You might even try to have a a date experience instead of just dinner and a movie. Mix it up. And I feel like that can really make you feel unstuck if you do get stuck as a regular calendar thing. That's a commitment my husband and I do. We do day dates often, so I don't have to pay for a sitter.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:42:21]:
But, he works from home, so we can do we have a lot of flexibility. But that's really changed that's really cultivated a lot of joy for both of us.

Amanda Golightly [00:42:30]:
I just wanted to ask if you had a favorite success story that you can share. Because I mean, you shared so much amazing information today. Just can you give us one success story that just stands out for you?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:42:44]:
Oh, I have one. So this particular person I met when I was 18 and I worked for a cruise line and, oh, we were Facebook friends. And when I was first starting my program, my group program, the Make A Baby headquarters back in oh gosh. That was like early summer of 2020. And I was very it was I went online and it was my first time launching an online program and I was scared out of my mind. And, I was like, it's my beta program. I don't know how much you should price it. So I had the flu and I launched it because that's what my coach said I had to do.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:43:24]:
So I launched it and just posted on my personal Facebook wall. Hey. If you're trying to conceive, I'm doing this program for 8 weeks. It turned out to be 12 weeks. I would literally love for you to join me. So the so I had 5 people join. But again, I am still working on myself for that for you. She ended up getting pregnant within those 3 months together.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:43:47]:
She learned Reiki. I taught her how to do Reiki, but she also went and got it tuned in person. And she lived in Florida. She went on to have a baby boy. And then when she he was 6 months, we did a Reiki session, and the next month she was pregnant with her second son, so she had 2. And then, when he was, 9 months, she texted me, and she's like, I am pregnant again. Susie is my only person with 3 Reiki babies.

Amanda Golightly [00:44:27]:
Wow.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:44:28]:
And we knew each other when we were 18. We stayed friends, but didn't hide contact. And, she's she came on our podcast, and she just gave birth literally a month ago to her youngest daughter. So now she has 3 Reiki babies, and she had PCOS. They struggled before her first son. They had struggled for infertility for 9 years, and she had three losses, an atopic pregnancy, and she had PCOS during that time, those 9 years before she got attuned to Reiki. She healed a lot with her childhood. She had a happy childhood.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:45:09]:
Not all is dark and gloom and gloom when people come to me. There can be some really hard stuff. She had a very loving family, but, I'm Hispanic. She was also Hispanic. And growing up in a Hispanic household, there's a lot of pressure sometimes. And, to be very, you know, perfect when you present yourself, there could be a lot of control from parents. They're just as or if you come from an immigrant family, there could be a lot of different pressures to succeed, especially if you're first generation, to be successful because so many people before you or they came over and they sacrificed or depending even what country they came from. You're like, maybe it was a life or death situation they came from.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:45:55]:
So she had a lot of pressure and a lot of, like, feeling unconditionally loved because she had really deep perfectionism and she would over plan everything, to so she had a hard time just being, existing, and resting without having to earn it or have having it scheduled. So it was really hard for her to relax and just have a regulated nervous system without everything being perfect, and that would drive her crazy. So now she's like, it's okay. I have you know, she's so much she's so chill now versus she was tightly wound before and just like, I have to be on, I have to be perfect. You know, the house has to be perfect. But when you have 3 kids, it your house is not perfect. It is lived in and there's Legos on the floor, and someone has thrown up somewhere and someone's crying, Like, you know, life is full. You know? So it's really great to see her thriving and really all she ever wanted to be was a mom.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:46:56]:
Like, that was her, like, that was her wish in this life. I really wanna be a mom. She was a bonus mom. Her husband had a child from previous, but she goes, I really, really want to carry my own babies. And it's a real thing. It's okay to want and finally see her, like, with 3 babies. She's like, I like, I'm so happy for her. So that's my only person with 3 Ricky babies, and we stay in touch.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:47:23]:
Yeah.

Kate McDowell [00:47:24]:
Amazing. That's fantastic. That's such a beautiful story. And you've shared so much value with us today. So I know that our audience will get a lot of benefit from this. Is there one last piece of advice or yeah, I guess advice is the right word that you'd like to share with the audience?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:47:42]:
You can redeem or start over at any point of any day and you're always worth the second chance to start over. You start over your mood, your perspective, your mindset. You start over in friendships and relationships. You can always start over. And I think that that's the most beautiful thing because there's always hope in starting over. But you're not starting over from the same spot originally. You're starting over from now. Sorry.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:48:12]:
I'm a little bit

Amanda Golightly [00:48:12]:
With the information that you have going forward.

Carolina Sotomayor [00:48:14]:
Yeah. I think it's easier.

Amanda Golightly [00:48:17]:
Again, as Kate said, like, I'm echoing the same sentiment that you shared so much amazing information for women and parents who are parents and parents to be. It's just great. We're very grateful that you came on with us. And where's the best place that people could find you if they want to get in touch?

Carolina Sotomayor [00:48:34]:
TikTok and Instagram. My handle's the Carolina Sotomayor. And shoot me a voice note on our side of my DMs on Instagram. I love to voice note you back. But chitty chat chat because I love to connect with people. And, even if you don't work with me, I'll find you a resource if you're trying to conceive or if you're in postpartum and you need to chat. I am a night owl. Let's talk.

Amanda Golightly [00:49:02]:
Perfect. Thank you so much. If you're looking to connect with Carolina, please reach out to her. Another amazing episode, and thank you very much for being on with us, and we'll catch you on the next episode. Thank you for tuning in to the Limitless Health podcast. Your support means the world to us. If you've enjoyed today's episode and found it helpful on your health journey, we'd love to hear from you. Leaving a review not only helps us improve but also guides others seeking similar insights.

Amanda Golightly [00:49:29]:
Together, let's spread the knowledge and empower more individuals toward healthier lives. Don't forget to subscribe for future updates. Live well naturally, and until next time.