20 Years of Pain Gone in 20 Minutes: Discover the Process That Works

How a Simple Technique Can Help You Let Go of Decades of Emotional Pain

Call to Action:

Are you ready to let go of the emotional baggage that’s been weighing you down? Download Amanda’s free hypnosis audio to boost your confidence and start making the shifts you’ve been longing for. Click here to grab your copy now and take the first step toward a lighter, more empowered you.

Episode Summary:

In this episode, Kate and Amanda dive into the transformative power of a unique perspective-shifting technique that can help you release long-held emotional pain in a matter of minutes. Kate shares her personal experience of carrying resentment and anger for over 20 years, only to feel a dramatic shift after applying this method.

Through a three-sided approach that involves stepping into your own shoes, the other person’s perspective, and an outside observer’s view, this process helps uncover new insights, challenge limiting beliefs, and release emotional triggers.

Listen in as Kate reveals how this shift not only changed how she views a pivotal life event but also transformed her relationships and overall sense of worth. Amanda explains how this simple yet powerful technique can create space for healing, growth, and renewed connections in your life.

Key Takeaways:

•The Root of Resentment: How our expectations and choices shape emotional reactions.

•The Three-Sided Perspective Technique: A practical framework for viewing past events with new eyes.

•The Power of Awareness: Recognizing how our unconscious decisions protect us but may also hold us back.

•Ripple Effects: How shifting your mindset can improve not only your inner world but also your relationships.

Why This Matters:

If you’ve been carrying unresolved emotions, this episode will inspire you to rethink how you approach your past. The shift Kate describes shows how quickly you can let go of limiting beliefs and create a new sense of peace in your life.

Resources Mentioned:

•Free Hypnosis Audio: Boost your confidence and start your journey toward emotional freedom. Download here.

• Follow Amanda on Instagram: @amandagolightlycoaching for more tips and insights.

• Follow Kate on Instagram: @alignednaturalhealth 

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Let us know what resonated with you from this episode! Leave a comment or reach out to us—we’d love to hear from you.

*** This podcast is for information purposes only. By providing the information contained herein, we are not diagnosing, treating, curing, mitigating, or preventing any disease or medical condition. Before beginning any type of natural regimen, it is advisable to seek the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.

Transcript

Kate McDowell [00:00:00]:
So there's this event that I went through more than 20 years ago, and I've been carrying it around for the entire time. I couldn't think about it without getting emotional. It used to really trigger me. And as a result, it changed my relationships with people because I attached so much to it. There was a resentment that came up. There was a lot of blame, and I would get angry. And so we did this technique a few days ago, and the difference now is amazing. I can think about it.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:27]:
I can think about the person. I can think about the whole situation, and I'm not bothered by it anymore. I can see how I I portrayed it in a way that I had designed in my mind that wasn't actually truth, and the shift has been incredible.

Kate McDowell [00:00:45]:
We believe in growth and continuous learning.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:48]:
We believe in educating and sharing knowledge.

Kate McDowell [00:00:51]:
We believe the body is miraculous and is able to heal with the proper nutrition and support.

Amanda Golightly [00:00:57]:
And we believe the right mindset is key to your success. I'm Amanda Golytely. And I'm Kate McDowell. And this is Limitless Health.

Kate McDowell [00:01:05]:
Live well, naturally. Welcome back to the Limitless Health podcast. We're really excited to kinda get into this conversation today because I know there's a lot of people out there who have similar experiences and are carrying around something with them that they've been carrying around for many, many years. And the toll that takes on your perceptions in life, how you interact with people, your relationships, and perhaps how you look at yourself and your values and things like that. And as quickly as one event can, can cause something in inside you, you can just as quickly change that. So your perspective is different and you come away with new learnings to see basically your whole world differently.

Amanda Golightly [00:02:00]:
Rebecca Rogers It's something traumatic that happened when I was 19 years old, and at the time I had reached out to a family member to ask for help in the situation. And the way that this person responded, I was angry at the time, and that's what I carried around. I felt unsupported. I felt like I didn't matter. And I realized when we went through the technique a couple of days ago and looking at it, I chose this person for a reason. Mhmm. I chose this person because I knew how they were going to respond. And Amanda had made a comment to me in this process of like, okay, so what were your resources, I think what were your other resources or other options? And I can reflect back and see myself in that experience and realize that the other choices that I had would have given me a totally different outcome, but it wasn't the outcome that I wanted.

Amanda Golightly [00:02:54]:
I chose this person because I knew exactly how they would react in the situation. And then I got mad at them for reacting exactly how I knew they would. And so being able to see that and and really lean into it and feel it, I was like, okay. Right? I blamed, I had resentment, I had anger for 20 years because of how this person responded, but that's exactly why I chose them.

Kate McDowell [00:03:21]:
You made a decision as far as what the outcome was that you wanted. And, yes, interesting that we we can do that sometimes, and we're making a choice and getting mad at the outcome that we knew we would get. Right?

Amanda Golightly [00:03:37]:
Yeah. It

Kate McDowell [00:03:38]:
was pretty neat taking you through because there's basically 3 different positions and perspectives that we went through as far as Kate's own perspective, this other person's, and then there's the outside observers. And to kind of, especially for the other person's aspect, just kind of becoming them and seeing what the world is like from their eyes and what is going on and the emotions that are there and just bringing new information to the whole picture. It's not just a one-sided, it's a three sided approach to getting information and looking back at something that happened with new eyes basically, and various ones of them.

Amanda Golightly [00:04:23]:
Yeah, it was so cool to do because I remember so I was initially sitting in the position of myself back in the experience, and I got emotional thinking about it and imagining it and imagining the conversation that I was going to have with this other person and trying to feel well, trying to be the person I was back then. And then when Amanda said, okay, let's switch and let's put you in the position, imagine how the other person felt. And so I went from that very emotional state to just like very transactional, very, okay, like, what do you need kind of thing? And, all right, we'll do it, but you're gonna pay me back. And that was what I resented for all these years was the like, what do you mean this person's not just gonna do this thing for me that I asked of them? And then to look at it from an outside perspective, like Amanda said, what do you want to like imagine yourself as a bird, what are you gonna be? And a phoenix came to mind. So I was just like looking down on the 2 people having their conversation and seeing the emotional person on the one side and then the person on the other side that was acting exactly as they always do. And it was just it's to see it from that perspective was like, oh, okay, that happened exactly how it was supposed to. That was the biggest shift for me was taking the step back and looking at the situation from the outside because I saw that there was no like trying to hurt feelings or trying to be cruel or anything from the other person that I had perceived, and I've been carrying around and repeating in my mind over and over, I'm not loved, I'm not worthy, I'm not valued, and I've carried that in other situations that I've been in with this person as well, right? I go into it with the expectation that this person doesn't see my worth, doesn't see me as a person of value. And it's like, oh, right? We create these things because I remember Amanda had said, oh, because there's another situation that I've dealt with as well with the same person, and you had said to me, like, oh, do you wanna explore that as well? And I was like, I honestly don't because after going through that, it's like I was creating so much shit there that wasn't there, which is is neat to experience for sure.

Kate McDowell [00:06:47]:
So how is that different for you now looking at at least that first interaction that we're talking about?

Amanda Golightly [00:06:53]:
The first situation I can think about it and not get emotional, which is the first that I used to get, I wouldn't even talk to people about it. This is tough because I don't want to dig into these. I'm okay with sharing things, but I don't want to offend anybody. But to look back at the situation that I went through, 19 years old, I was a kid, really, and things happened and that even just thinking about that, I used to get so anxious feeling, so emotional, and it was that feeling of I'm not supported. I was in a bad place and I asked someone who was a person that I expected to be there for me in a pickle, for help and I had a little humor. I'd asked them for help and I felt like I wasn't supported. And looking back, it's, yeah, I had other options that I could have done. But the thing is, I didn't want a big deal to be made of things.

Amanda Golightly [00:07:51]:
I wanted this to be just a quiet, get me out of the situation. The whole family doesn't need to know about it. And that's exactly what happened. And then I was mad at them for that because of the way it unfolded. And it's like Yeah. It was very, very interesting. Like, I feel totally different about it now, which is cool. Like, I can't wait to see this person again because it's gonna be different just because Absolutely.

Amanda Golightly [00:08:15]:
I'm gonna be different. So You are different.

Kate McDowell [00:08:18]:
So what is totally different when you see this person?

Amanda Golightly [00:08:23]:
The the resentment that I've had for really years, like a long time, 2 decades, right? I'm not gonna go in with like kind of the chip on my shoulder that I've had before or the not feeling valued. It's, yeah, I'm excited to see this person again to see the difference because every time we do any of this, the mindset stuff, it's always amazing to see how, yes, you change, but it ripples out into the world around and your community and your family. And, yeah, it's neat.

Kate McDowell [00:08:55]:
That's pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to hearing more about that. It's an, it's a quick process and it, I know there's sometimes depending on the person, there can be a little bit more processing that happens after the actual technique is done. Because you're probably gonna have more realizations and learnings popping up as you go through this process, as you see this person again, and, like, your energy has changed. So their energy will be different, and it's pretty exciting to see, and I'm looking forward to hearing more about your experience with it.

Amanda Golightly [00:09:28]:
Yeah. It's very neat. And just in other ways as well. Right? I had this this feeling in life in general of I'm not supported. Mhmm. Because this is a person, like I said, this is the person that I I thought was my rock. I thought was the dependable resource that I could turn to if I'm in like a dangerous scary situation and felt that that wasn't what happened. And so then any other dangerous scary things happen and I'm like, I'm alone.

Amanda Golightly [00:09:58]:
How do I ask for help? Especially when you do ask for help and you get a negative response or you get pushback or I felt guilty. I felt like I was being blamed for what happened, which I'm sure that wasn't the intention and the person doesn't know the situation. So that alone is not fair either because we're not mind readers. Right? But then in other areas of life, I can look back now and see where there were times where I just felt like I wasn't supported. And it's I created that. I created this. Well, no, no one's going to support me. I'm on my own.

Amanda Golightly [00:10:37]:
And how much does your life change when you can open that open up to that? Right. And allow and yeah, the universe doesn't give us stuff. Right. And I was like, nope, not safe.

Kate McDowell [00:10:47]:
And what was the reason for creating that lack of support?

Amanda Golightly [00:10:53]:
It didn't feel safe.

Kate McDowell [00:10:59]:
Yeah.

Amanda Golightly [00:11:01]:
And the shift is it's it's very cool.

Kate McDowell [00:11:05]:
It's really awesome. We just wanted to jump on today and kind of talk about this to kind of demonstrate how, because this wasn't even long. I think it might have maybe was 15 minutes, just a conversation going through things, asking questions and these shifts and new realizations can happen fast. You can go from being in this feeling of not worthy and not supported and having these negative emotions of resentment and anger and Mhmm. Whatever in one moment. And then you can totally release those things and allow for space of other emotions, like perhaps curiosity as far as what's gonna come between your relationship. Because as you have said, you basically got the outcome that you wanted at that moment and what you needed perhaps to get through what you were going through.

Amanda Golightly [00:12:02]:
Exactly. I was, I didn't want to be an emotional disaster in this situation. I didn't want to be standing in the airport in Florida and in a puddle because I was crying so much and really upset. And so I chose the outcome that I got. And then when I got it, I was angry. And how many times does that happen in life, right? Like you make the choices that lead to the outcome that unconsciously or consciously, you know, that's the result that's going to happen. You know, that's how the person is going to respond and then when they do, you get mad at them.

Kate McDowell [00:12:32]:
And it's

Amanda Golightly [00:12:32]:
like, well, I could have made a different choice. I could have chose the other option that I had available and it would have been completely different, But I couldn't I emotionally, I didn't want that at the time. And so, yeah, just to take a look at at things that have happened in life or things that you've been carrying around and holding on to. And it's like, how could I look at that differently? Right? Especially to look from the person's perspective was useful, but then, like, rise above and look at the situation. That was really cool. Even at the time, I don't think when we were having the conversation, I don't think it, like, clicked right away. But then later, I was like, oh. Yeah.

Amanda Golightly [00:13:12]:
Oh, okay. It, like, really sunk in. So very cool.

Kate McDowell [00:13:16]:
It sunk in. And it's interesting because we go through life, and sometimes we make these decisions and we don't know why, like unconsciously our unconscious mind is protecting us in some way. As you said, it didn't feel safe to do that. So you went with the one direction rather than the other direction. And maybe it's because other reasons that you're that for those who are listening, maybe they're making decisions in life because there's protection involved or you don't want to be seen. Maybe it's a in the case of working with, like, other hypnotists and coaches where I'm looking to help them get out of their own way. You're you're going through the motions of protecting yourself or and you get stuck in the procrastination mode, it's because you're just trying to avoid doing something. And there's a reason for that.

Kate McDowell [00:14:13]:
And it could be out of safety. It could be out of fear. There's so many different reasons that it could be coming up, but it's just a matter of kind of tapping into the what's the real reason and what needs to be released or what do you need to let go of in order to move forward. And that was pretty cool to be alongside as you, had that experience.

Amanda Golightly [00:14:34]:
Yeah. And thank you so much for that. Like, we you don't realize how much these things are affecting your life even 20 years after. Right? And so very interesting. And thank you.

Kate McDowell [00:14:47]:
Hey. You're very welcome. Yeah. So this is just an example of how I work with people and how I can help shift your perspectives. And basically in like this case, like shift pretty much almost a half a life. Yeah. So this is something that's caught your attention. It's resonating with you.

Kate McDowell [00:15:07]:
You could feel free to reach out to me. I do have a free resource. My Instagram will put it in the show notes as well. It's a free hypnosis audio. If you're struggling in the area of confidence and want to boost that up, this is something you can, sign up for and get as a resource. And sometimes that's a good starting point. Because it's easy to have that feeling of I'm not confident to do go live. I'm not confident to do a podcast.

Kate McDowell [00:15:33]:
I'm not confident to speak in front of a group, give a presentation. And sometimes it's all you need is that little resource to make a difference. And it can be it can be very easy. So it's just a matter. Jump right in and, check out the other results that people are having with it because it's been it's made quite a difference for some other people. There's some testimonies attached to it as well. So check that out. Alright.

Kate McDowell [00:15:57]:
So thanks everyone for tuning in this week. We really appreciate, the listeners. Your support means the world to us, and it's really important to get this information out because there are so many people out there that need help and that are carrying this kind of stuff around. And you don't have to be. You don't have to be. It can be as quick as this, this podcast basically, and it can change your whole life. So thanks again. And we'll catch you on the next episode.