43: Why Positive Thinking Isn’t the Answer (And What Is)

• My daughter’s panic attack and what it taught me about emotional flashbacks and healing.

Main Topic: Getting to Neutral

• The Problem: Why jumping to “you’re fine” or forcing positivity doesn’t help in moments of distress.
• Emotional Flashbacks: What they are, how they show up unexpectedly, and how past trauma lives in the body.
• How I Handled It Differently:
  • Allowing emotions to run their course rather than pushing them away.
  • Encouraging her to feel rather than fight her fear.
  • Why neutrality is often a better goal than positivity.

1. Neutral Thinking Over Positive Thinking:
   • Instead of “just think positive,” focus on what is true and actionable.
   • Example: Rather than saying “You’re fine,” acknowledge, “This feels really scary, and you’re allowed to feel it.”
2. Emotions Are Temporary:
   • Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, emotions burn out if you let them run.
   • We don’t have to fear feelings—we just need to feel them.
3. No Drama, Just Data:
   • Negative thinking adds unnecessary weight.
   • Neutrality means stating facts: “This is happening. What do I want to do next?”
4. Don’t Let the Past Predict the Future:
   • Divorce trauma doesn’t define you.
   • Just because you felt unsafe then doesn’t mean you have to live in fear now.

For Divorced Women: How to Apply Neutral Thinking

• When an emotional flashback hits, focus on the present reality: Where am I? Am I safe?
• If supporting a friend or child, hold space instead of forcing solutions.
• Instead of spiraling into “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What is my next best step?”

Closing Thoughts:

• Neutral thinking doesn’t erase pain, but it keeps us from getting stuck in it.
• You don’t have to force a silver lining—just take the next step forward.
• Let’s normalize feeling ALL the things without fear.

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com