60: Heterosexual History 101: Why It’s Been a Hot Mess (with Britta Jo)

In this spicy, eye-opening episode, Quinn and Britta take a wild ride through the history and heartbreak of heterosexuality—inspired by Jane Ward’s brilliant book, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality.

They explore:

• 🕰️ The surprising history of how romantic heterosexual love was never the default—and how the invention of modern marriage was more about control than connection.
• 🧠 The role of patriarchy and capitalism in shaping straight relationships into something that often feels unsatisfying, especially for women.
• 💔 Why straight women often feel unseen, overworked, and under-loved—and why this isn’t a personal failure but a systemic issue.
• 💡 The internalized misogyny and benevolent sexism that still show up in modern dating and marriage.
• 🔥 Real talk from two  besties about the absurdity of relationships with straight men and why some women are saying, “I’m good, thanks.”

Plus: Stoic wisdom, messy laughter, personal stories, and truth bombs about the straight struggle. This one’s for our divorced divas, hetero skeptics, and anyone who’s ever asked: Is this really what love is supposed to feel like?

PostDivorceGlowUp.com

Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com

Transcript

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0:49

Welcome to the podcast, my friends. It's the last week of summer break for my kiddos, and I am thrilled to be wrapping up all of those loose ends, buying supplies, getting haircuts, and planning for that first day of school. First day of school for them, a day without them. For me. This last week, I received a message from a client asking me why do I as a woman. I always have to be the one working on the relationship and working on myself. It doesn't seem like men do that. I told her I'd be dropping this upcoming episode to answer that question, and the simple answer is it's not an accident. At least 75 years ago, the culture shifted on purpose and assigned relationship work to women. I am not kidding. A few months ago I came across a book entitled The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward. It gives context for what heterosexual women experience in relationship. It explains so much. My mind was blown. I dug deep. I tried to find patterns and understand. Because I want to be better at relationships. I want to be better at loving men. I want to be better at being fully human myself. And this book did so much for me. I had to send a copy to my bestie Britta Joe. And so this episode is a conversation I had this past weekend with Brita Joe of the Stay or Go podcast and community. We dive into the history of heterosexuality. It has not always been a thing, and we answer the question, why does it feel so difficult to be in relationship with men? I hope you enjoy it.