49. Who Deserves Your Energy? A Physician Mom's Guide to Peace

Hey doc! On today's episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨, I'm talking about something that's transformed my peace of mind: treating your energy as a precious gift.

I dive into:

• Why protecting your energy matters as a Physician mom
• How social media drains our precious resources
• Setting boundaries with family members and opinions
• Choosing where to invest your limited energy
• Creating peace by being selective with your gift

Key Takeaways:

• Your energy is finite and valuable
• Not everyone deserves access to your energy
• Protecting your gift creates more peace
• You decide who receives this precious resource
• Save your energy for what truly matters

Doc, if you're feeling drained from giving your energy to things and people who don't deserve it, this episode is for you. Let's talk about protecting your precious gift so you have more to give to what (and who) truly matters.

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Transcript

 Hey doc, let's talk about the gift that is your energy. And I want you to start thinking of your energy as a gift because when you think of it that way, you will stop giving it away so freely.  And that is one of my main goals because it has brought me so much peace  when I have decided that no, I will not give you this gift because you are undeserving.

Not you, who's listening, but you, somebody else.  And peace is what we all deserve. So, , this usually comes up for me when it has to come to social media.  And before I would scroll past a post, know that it would trigger me, and then still go and read it, and read all the comments.  And I had to take a step back and be like, why, why are you doing that?  You are giving these people that you do not even know way too much energy because it wasn't just that I would read it and be okay,  I would read it.

I would want to comment. I would start typing the comment and then read it over and be like, I probably shouldn't put that. This is too angry. Then I'm like, well, no, I should say something because  that's a lot of energy  for a Facebook post,  right? When I think about. This gift, this finite thing that I have, when I wake up in the morning until I go to bed.

Do I want to give my gift to this post that means really nothing in the grand scheme of my life?  And I hope you know, I'm using Facebook posts as a metaphor, but it is a very relevant one because I know I'm not alone.  I know that you too have seen things online. that you have given your gift to way too frequently.

But the first time I actually  commented about this on a post, it was a very real life example, where a mom in one of my groups was talking about her daughter having a racist incident with somebody she considered a friend.  And the friend said something that was shocking to the daughter.

 And she was saying her daughter wants to confront the person.  And I had to ask her, what is your daughter's goal  with this confrontation? Because if she's expecting a certain outcome and she doesn't get it, is she going to be more hurt?

By this already traumatic experience, like, is she going to feel validated? Is she like, how does she hope to feel? And if that does not  come to pass, what is going to be the fallout? So basically, is this person worth her energy? Does she want to give her that gift? Because you've already traumatized me. 

This confrontation likely will not go well because based on what she said, she's probably not going to take feedback well,  right? And even if she does, are you going to feel any better?  Like, what is your goal here? And when you think about things that far ahead into the interaction, then you can see that maybe this isn't worth my gift.

And it's the same with these Facebook posts. And I actually, when I, cause sometimes I write things down when I have an idea for a podcast that I want to talk about, and I put a link to  a post where I gave my energy Way too freely and regretted it so it was like a reminder to don't do this shit.  Stop Because it is not worth your gift.

So I saw a post  that I knew would be triggering  and Instead of doing my usual scroll by  I decided to package up my gift nice and beautifully and Give it to this random person  and it took maybe a half an hour for me to of my life that day  because I commented, she responded, I responded, I had all the feelings about the comments and it's only after, I think it was the third, response that I was like,  I am no longer going to give this person my gift.

And I actually put that in there, not in those words, but I was like, thank you for reminding me why I usually scroll past these posts. I thought you will open to dialogue because she had said so in the original post.  And you have reminded me why I usually scroll past these types of posts.  So what I was really saying is.

Thank you for reminding me to protect my gift  and to do better next time  and to not just give it away Because now I have so much less energy. For what? Now my kids get less energy, my husband gets less energy, everything that I have to do today.  gets a little bit less. Thankfully, I'm at the point where I don't let interactions like this affect my day for long periods of time.

I was not here before, like before it would have seeped into other things because I was still so irritated. So, thinking of it in this way  helps you protect it. So of course your energy isn't finite in that way, like you could measure it and it starts at this level and it's down.

But if you think about it that way, you may choose differently.  You may decide to scroll by. You may decide to just say, okay, if an auntie tells you, you should be giving your baby water under six months, you may. Set up a boundary and say I'm not discussing this if your mother in law says that you shouldn't have a nanny Raising your child you should work less and be at home to be a better mom. Don't give her the gift Because  these people usually have no direct effect on your life. they're not making decisions in your life. You are. So oftentimes, the gift is completely wasted and you are the one that ends up feeling drained. 

All right, doc. So remember this, your energy is a gift and it is one of the most precious. So decide very, very carefully who you want to give it to and who is worthy of it. 

And you know, I do think that your energy is well spent here  listening to stethoscopes and strollers and being a part of my community. So I thank you. I thank you so much. So definitely  share this episode with another physician mom who may be giving away her gifts a little bit willy nilly, you know, we could all use a little bit of change in perspective so that we can save our gifts.

for the people and the things that matter the most to us,  right? So don't forget to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, a five star rating everywhere else. And please feel free, reach out if you have any questions about anything that you have heard on the podcast. I love questions, I love feedback, and if you just cannot figure out how  to protect your gift,  who to give it to,  you just feel empty. day in day out because all you do is give give give and you can't see a way around it because you feel like you have to do these things definitely reach out and book a free coaching session with me and we can talk about protecting your most precious gifts  okay i will see you on the next episode of stethoscopes and strollers