53. The True Love of Your Life: A Physician's Guide to Self-Love in Action

Hey doc! On today's episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨, I'm talking about the most important love story - the one with yourself.

I explore:

• What real self-love looks like in action
• How your children learn from your example
• Why boundaries show self-respect
• Transforming words into actions
• Creating lasting change

Key Takeaways:

• Actions speak louder than affirmations
• Children learn from what we do, not what we say
• True self-love requires boundaries
• Change starts with awareness

Perfect timing for Valentine's Day - whether you celebrate or not. Because the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself.

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Transcript

Hey doc, happy valentine's day. Well, when I plan to drop this it'll be like two days before valentine's day but happy valentine's day if you celebrate it. I surely don't. I never have actually even before , I had all of my thoughts about capitalism and  before I even knew what capitalism was in Trinidad I never celebrated valentine's day.

Could be because I never had a man but even So, like, in secondary school or high school and stuff, there was no desire, like, there was no, oh my gosh, I don't have a Valentine's, what am I going to do? It was just like, hmm.  That's cool. I guess. No, I don't know what that was about. But then also, I never had a man until like  my last year of secondary school.

Um, but that's beside the point. Now I don't celebrate and neither does my husband because it is a fake capitalist holiday. That means nothing to us. However, I know it's very important to a lot of people. And that's why I wanted to talk about it because I was thinking and I was like, you know what?

Valentine's Day is very important because it's another reason for me to talk to you about love and about the love of your life. The most true love that you can have, and if you are single. Don't stop the podcast right now. I promise you, this is for you as well.

Continue listening because if it's one thing I can't stand is dating advice from a married person who has been married for a long time.  It's been what, seven, eight, seven. It's been seven years.  I don't get it. I'm not even going to pretend. I don't know what it's like. It was a lot of luck, a lot of whatever.

This is not that. So,  if you are single Continue listening, please. Because , the truest love that I am talking about, is you. Because you have to love yourself before you love anyone else, according to my son.  My au pair caught the cutest video of him randomly saying that. because I was, you know, doing his little affirmations and stuff. 

And it just, like, popped out of his mouth and she happened to be recording. It's the cutest little thing. Anyway, you have to love yourself first, foremost. And then, your partner  and then the kids. And you may be thinking, well, of course I love myself. Like, this is, what are you talking about?

 But there may be people who don't and they're very aware of it. Or that The level of love is not where it should be,  but

it may also be that you are saying that you are the love of your life,  but you are not acting that way.  And that's what I want to talk about  today,  because if you were Your true main love. Would you have weak boundaries or not at all? Because boundaries are there , to protect you and your rights. So if you don't have any, you're not protecting yourself  and You protect the people that you love.  So are you truly acting that way?  If you truly loved yourself, would you put everybody else's needs before your own, to your detriment? Would you?

If you truly loved yourself, would you believe  that asking for help or asking for anything made you will make you less than  and therefore don't ask for any help or ask anybody for anything.  That doesn't sound like true love.  If you truly loved yourself, would you be living your life in a way that other people think you should be living it instead of honoring your own desires and your own values? 

The answer is no.  You would not be doing any of those things if you truly loved yourself and honoured yourself and respected yourself. Everything that comes with true love.  And, if you feel like you have just been attacked.  You're like, Dr. Toya,  I thought I loved myself, but maybe I'm not acting that way. Then what are you going to do about it?  And the reason that I am challenging you  is because your children are watching you.  They are learning what it is to love from you and you can tell them all the affirmations you can tell them  Anything that you want about how they should love how they should love themselves how they should love others How they should protect themselves all of that  But it is not going to mean anything if your actions are contrary to what you're telling them Because they will do what they are seeing and trust me.

Those children are observant. They are watching Everything. And they observe way more than we allow ourselves to believe.  So just think about how you are moving through your life, your motherhood journey, your marriage, your career.  Are you displaying  a doctor who truly loves herself? Are you setting that example for your children?

Because it is a really important lesson.  That they need to learn about self love and they're going to learn it from you first.  So, I would encourage you to take a step back and see any areas in your life where you are not acting like you are your truest, deepest love  and make some changes.  If not for you,  even though I think it should be for you, because it's an act of true love  for your children. 

Right, so share this episode with another doc who needs this message, who needs to love herself a little bit more and make sure that you tell everybody else how much you love this podcast and love me by leaving a five star review and sharing it and engaging with it and letting me know  how you feel about the messages here and If you disagree with them, I always love a good, you know, rebuttal.

Let me know.  All right. And I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Trollers. Happy Valentine's Day.