Ep. 56 The Hour That Changes Everything: Why Time Investment Matters for Physician Moms

Hey doc! 

Can we talk about time? Not the "how to manage it better" conversation - we're going deeper today. I'm sharing how one hour of intentional investment changed my life from running on empty to actually enjoying each moment.

In this episode, I take you through:

• My journey from 60-hour workweeks to intentional living
• The real reason why "I don't have time" isn't serving you
• My transition from skeptical to transformed CEO of my life 
• How investing in yourself creates space for joy
• The ripple effect of intentional time investment on you and your whole family

Key Takeaways:

• Time investment works like exercise - it gives back more than it takes
• True CEOs don't do everything - they make strategic choices
• Support systems multiply your time, not drain it
• Growth requires intention, not just better scheduling
• Peace comes from purposeful choices, not perfect planning

This episode is for every Physician mom ready to move beyond survival mode and create space for authentic joy in their lives.

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Transcript

 I'm worried about having something else on my plate that I do not have time to commit to or show up for. 

I'm being pulled in so many directions.

I feel like my evenings are somehow already so occupied.  

I'm worried about more time out of my personal life. 

Now these are actual responses from Physician moms when they were asked what their concerns were about joining a group coaching program, and it is understandable. You already feel like you have three full time jobs. You're a physician, you have call, you have clinic, you have admin, charting. You're a mom with drop offs, pickups, feeding the child, probably from your body, cooking, cleaning, bath time, making memories, wife, connecting with the partner,  doing all the things. 

And, oh yeah, you may actually have to sleep and take care of yourself and shower. And you want me to add on a Zoom call every single week?  You must be outside your mind. I get it. I promise you. I'm not crazy when I ask you to join The Connected Motherhood Experience, my new group coaching program for Black Physician moms.

I know you don't have time, but I want you to listen to this with an open mind.  Don't fall into the trap of making me exceptional or making your situation exceptional. Be open because I was where you are  when I started my first program that was an hour a week and it was for one year.  I was fully employed, OB GYN, full scope doing obstetrics. So I was on call and doing surgeries,  so I was averaging about 50 to 60 hours a week, depending on the call schedule. And had the same question.

I actually remember being on a call to ask questions about the program. And I asked Dr. Una, I was like, I'm an OB. At that time I had one child and he was  one, like, I don't know that I have the time. And being the smart lady that she is, she had several of her students, who were on the call, answer the question.

And they were like, well, if you don't join, you're not going to show up for any of them, so you, you won't get any benefit. And it was one of those things where, at the time, I was like, y'all sound like y'all are in a cult. 

And, you know, they were saying all these cheesy motivational things. And then there were the practical answers.  We listened to replays and there's a Facebook community. So you still get the support.  But I just remember being like, y'all don't know my life. You don't know what I have going on. My life is just so complex and special that there's no way you could possibly understand why I do not have the time for this. 

Does that sound familiar doc? And you know, I'm, I'm making a little bit of a jest, but I want you to know that I truly respect and also truly understand that you do not see how adding on a weekly session, can really fit into your life. I'm not dismissing your reality or downplaying it I'm just having a little bit of fun with my past experience, which I am confident that I can say is probably very similar to your own, but I want to move forward in this story a little bit.

So I had all these questions, but then I still made the leap. I still made the investment of my time and even though I could not show up to every single session, I gave it my all. I engaged in the group. I listened to the replays. I did as much as I could. And let me tell you,  when it comes to my time, that was the best investment that I have ever made.

And I have the receipts. Let me tell you about my average day right now.  I wake up and I have my tea.  While my children are still asleep. And then TMI, I have my morning poop, which just sets my day up so well. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me. I then meditate when my kids wake up. Once I'm done meditating, I get my daughter ready.

Then my son comes down, get him ready. I've started walking my daughter to school. It's about two miles-ish one way. So I wanted to be able to spend more time really with them. I wanted to be able to get my movement in  and make sure that no matter what, they got their outside time. So I started packing them up in the wagon and walking my daughter to her daycare and it is amazing.

So it's like a four mile walk. I discovered so many opportunities to educate my son  who's homeschooled, and it is absolutely amazing. So me come back home, I make breakfast and then usually by then it's 10 o'clock, and my au pair starts. I work during the day, either coaching my clients or working on the business.

I have it set up where I only work from Monday to Thursday. I do not work on Fridays. I do not work on the weekend. Each day we take over from the au pair at 7, we have our family bonding time and that is such a special time.

Even though it's not that long because my kids are in bed by 8 o'clock, no matter what.  It is so much more enjoyable.  Like, a moment just came to my mind where my kids were bouncing off, literally bouncing off the walls, off the couch. And my son jumped and kicked me in my head. And I just remember laughing.

After I was like, oh, that hurts.  But if I was still employed at that job, first of all, I probably wouldn't even been letting them jump around like that. I would have been so irritated. I would have been screaming at them, snapping at them to stop. Stop it. Just like I, I cannot imagine. Being able to tolerate that ruckus. 

Now, I look at that situation and I smile, and it was fun, and I actually, in that moment, turned to my husband and said,  " This would not have been this way before." We would both not be enjoying this situation. Cause we'd be so irritable, so tired, and we will be counting down until it was time for them to go to bed.

That schedule, my life right now is a direct result from the investment in time that I made when I joined my first group coaching program. When I made that commitment all those years ago. 

 One of the things that I learned in that coaching program was to be innovative in your business. You take ideas and concepts, strategies from one industry and use it in your industry. So it could be completely unrelated, but it can work in your industry. And that is how I run my life. The lessons, strategies, all the things that I have learned in entrepreneurship is what I apply to my life.

Like I run my life like I am the CEO of it, and a real CEO. Not this house manager BS that people say is like the CEO of the home, where you are thinking of everything, caring for everyone, doing everything. That is not a CEO. The last time I checked, all these big money CEOs are not doing every single thing,

So  when I say I run my life like a CEO, like a true CEO who has lots of time to make executive decisions.  Operate at the top of my license and focus on the things that are actually important and that are actually going to move the business of my life forward in the direction that I want it to go and grow it and let it blossom and all of those things.

So that's my story and how the investment of that hour a week all those years ago has led me to here.  But there's another concept that I know you're familiar with and it's something that you probably discuss with your patients all the time. 

Think of exercise. You tell your patients, invest 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day and it will be so worth it. You will get so much out of that investment. You will get more energy. You will get better sleep. And because of the more energy and the better sleep, you can do more. You have more time. 

So it's not 30 minutes taking away. It is value added to your day by doing these 30 minutes of exercise. You also have a different level of enjoyment of everything because you're not like dragging  so if you are telling your patients This benefit of exercise and convincing them, coaching them some would say, about the importance of this time. It should be the same for a program like The Connected Motherhood Experience.

So this is what I really want you to take away from this, right? The CME is not just another direction that you're being pulled in. It is your anchor. That one hour a week isn't taking away anything. It is an investment that pays you dividends in every other hour of your life. When you are truly connected to yourself, to your desires, to your vision, every moment becomes more intentional. No more revenge scrolling at night because you're just trying to decompress, or counting down the minutes until your kids go to bed, hoping your husband doesn't roll over and, you know, give you the nudge.  And no more feeling scattered and pulled in a bunch of different directions.

This isn't just another task on your to do list. This is your time, your space, your sanctuary. Where you get to show up fully for yourself  and be seen and understood by other Black Physician moms who get it. And for you to create a life that energizes you rather than depletes you.

So yes, sure. It is an hour a week, but it is an hour that is going to transform how you experience every other hour of your life.  So just like you tell your patients, it's not about finding the time. It's about making the investment in yourself that just makes everything better.  

Do not wait until the kids are older. Don't put your dreams on hold. It's time to create your connected motherhood experience now.

  So  go in the show notes, go on my website, drtoyacoaching.com/thecme and schedule a Peace and Power session and let's talk about, what support you need and if this is actually the right fit for you.  And don't forget to share this with another physician mom who needs permission to invest in herself  and leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, a five star rating everywhere else. And I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.