62. Why You're Not Actually the CEO of Your Household (And How to Become One)

Hey doc! In this episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨, I’m challenging the popular narrative of Physician moms as “household CEOs.” Because let’s be honest—most of us are actually functioning like overworked managers, not empowered leaders. And today, we’re going to break that all the way down.

I dive into:

• Why most Physician moms are functioning as managers, not CEOs
• What real CEOs like Jeff Bezos actually do with their time (hint: it’s not cooking meals or doing pickups)
• The critical difference between true delegation and “wishful thinking” delegation
• How operating like a true CEO creates space for what actually matters

Key takeaways:

• CEOs delegate effectively and operate at the top of their license
• True delegation includes training, feedback, and letting go
• When you’re doing other people’s jobs, burnout follows
• The highest use of your time is connecting with your family and excelling in your career—not managing details

This is a must-listen for any Physician mom who’s juggling clinical responsibilities, parenting, partnerships, and everything in between. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start building a life that reflects your worth, this conversation is your permission slip.

It’s time for a promotion, doc. Let’s transform you from an overworked manager to the visionary CEO of your life.

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Transcript

  Hey Doc, I know there's a lot of talk about being the CEO of the household as a mom, even if you're a working mom, and how terrible it is and all that. And I wanna talk about that a little bit because I have a lot of issues with that concept in general.

And the main thing is that most people are not CEOs of their household or of their life. They're actually managers and, the goal should be to be the CEO if you're acting like a real CEO. So let's talk about it.  I've seen a lot of articles and discussions about the cognitive load of being the CEO of the house and managing everybody's expectations.

Everybody's appointments, everybody's feelings, life, all of that as a mother, who directs the home. Right. And while, of course I understand the cognitive load, the title is what I have a problem with because. I am the CEO of my life, not just of my house, but of my entire life.

And that's great. Like every day I strive to maintaining that, but it's because I understand how a CEO actually works. So when you think about, and of course all the CEOs that I can think of are terrible people, so forgive me, but when you think about Jeff Bezos is Jeff Bezos. Cooking every meal, cleaning his house, doing drop offs and pickups, running back and forth to work, taking charts at home, and no, this man is getting eight hours of sleep because he knows that he needs to be well-rested to make the big executive high level decisions for this mammoth of a company to make his billions.

That's a CEO. 

So when we talk about, 

I'm doing everything, 

I'm worrying about everybody, 

I'm burnt out,

and... that's a manager. 

You are managing people, 

and managing expectations,

and feelings, 

and running yourself

into the ground 

managing your husband,

managing your child, 

managing your office.

Not a CEO.

A CEO delegates.

They think,

What is the best

and highest use of my time?

How do I operate

at the top of my license, doc? 

Are you in the hospital 

doing housekeeping's job?

Not that it's not a noble job,

somebody has to do it.

But you're not doing that.

There are people to do those things. 

Your MA has a job,

she's doing those things.

In the clinical context,

you're the CEO.

And when do you get burnout?

When you start doing

other people's job.

When you start doing 

admin stuff.

When they tell you

you have to do it 

when you are doing 

all the extra stuff,

not operating 

at the top of your license.

So why then 

are we doing it at home 

and labeling it as the CEO?

Instead of truly realizing, 

truly appreciating

what a CEO does,

how they operate, 

and then aiming

for that.

Delegation, 

and true delegation, 

not imaginary delegation.

Where you know that this person should know what to do and I shouldn't have to tell them, so I'm just gonna not do it. And they're going to know to do it because they can read my mind and I'm gonna get upset when they don't do it. Not that real delegation, Where you request that a task is done, train so that they know how to do it well.

Let them do it. Accept how it is done. Check in with them, give constructive feedback, and then let it go. 

Delegation. 

That's what CEOs do. 

They have a team. 

They have people 

working with them, 

working for them 

to make their lives easier.

And most importantly, 

to free up their time, 

their mental space and energy

to do the things that matter.

To have quality time

with their children,

to make those memories, 

to grow more intimate 

and closer 

and connected 

with their husband,

to become 

the type of physician

that they dreamed about 

when they were 

busting their ass all those years. 

That is the highest 

and best use of your time 

as the CEO of your life. 

Not as a manager.

A low level manager at that.  So I want you to imagine the life that you're living now. Imagine having a team reporting to you. Knowing what they're supposed to do because you train them well, feeling empowered because you let go of the task and let them be their best self and bring their own ideas and their own excellence to it, and everybody is happy and happy, fun, and feeling supported because you are the CEO of your life.

You have time to dream and to relax and to rest and to enjoy your husband, to enjoy your career. that is. What being the CEO can look like if it's done right. that is what I want for you. That is what I want for every single physician, mom, why? You know why? Because you deserve it. And that is what I help my clients do, become the CEO of their lives.

 So if you are ready to stop being the manager to stop worrying about every single thing, and knowing in your heart that. If I go away for two seconds, it's all gonna come crumbling down. If you're ready to stop that and start being the CEO of your life, schedule a free coaching session with me and let's talk about how we can make it happen.

Practical, real life tools that are good for you, nobody else because nobody knows your life. Right. That's the beauty of one-on-one coaching. That is the beauty of having this deep, intimate relationship where things are made, especially for you, not some cookie cutter. Oh, this is, this is how to win your life and this is how to have work life balance.

That's not what I do. Right. Doctor Toya coaching, it is about you and your life, doctor you incorporated. So go to my website, dr toya coaching.com and schedule a free coaching session. The link is in the show notes in all of my bios you can find everywhere. DM me all of the things because you, you are ready for a promotion doc.

Come on, let's do it.  And share this episode with another physician mom who needs that promotion as well. To become the CEO of her own life. And don't forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, five stars, say how wonderful it is. Five star rating everywhere else. Make sure you subscribe and follow and all of the things, and I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.