64. This Is Your Permission Slip to Live Fully and Unapologetically

Hey Doc —

When was the last time someone gave you permission to just want what you want? To go after comfort, joy, ease, or pleasure — without guilt, without justification?

This episode of ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ is that permission slip.

I’m sharing the moments in my life where a friend, a coach, or even a passing comment gave me the clarity and courage to make a decision that changed everything.

Here’s what I want you to hear: 

You don’t need to wait.
You don’t have to justify your joy.
You deserve a life that feels good.

In this episode, I’m unpacking: 

🔸 Why joy, comfort, and pleasure are not frivolous — they’re essential
🔸 How others gave me permission I didn’t even know I needed
🔸 Why you deserve to make bold decisions simply because they feel good
🔸 The power of modeling desire and ease to your children and yourself

This is your sign, your nudge, your full-body yes.

Buy the ticket. Lease the car. Prioritize pleasure. And feel zero guilt.
Because you deserve it.

🎧 Listen now and send this to another Physician mom who needs this gift, too.

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Transcript

  Hey Doc. In this episode, I want to give you permission.  Permission to do whatever it is your heart truly desires. If you wanna get a new car. Go ahead. If you wanna fly business class, do it. I want to give you the permission that you are waiting for to live your life to the fullest, to do whatever it is that you want, and to be unapologetic about making those decisions and feel empowered and just be like, yes.

I did it. I chose to do it because I'm worth it, and because Dr. Toya gave me permission. And  the reason that I'm doing this is because there have been people that have given me permission to do certain things in my life.

For no other reason than you deserve it. You are working so hard to be a doctor to practice medicine. Just make your life easy. And it was a gift every single time that that happened to me because I'm the type of person where if you tell me something once and it makes sense, I'm gonna run with it. Right?

I am going to like, you know what? Yes, I'm very easily convinced. All of these very strong opinions that I have, they can be changed very quickly. People sometimes are surprised by that. If you're making sense and I can reason through your argument, I'm gonna change my mind, I'm gonna take you up on it.

That's what you call a growth mindset, right? I'm very open to new ideas and I hold them firmly once I have them, which is what you hear on this podcast. But anyway. I am going to tell you about all the times that I have been given permission by certain people to do the things that I do now that I cannot even imagine my life if I did not do those things.

Okay? So first up. I was in residency, and I don't remember what year I was in, but I always tried to travel and even in residency, it has always been a passion of mine. It was important to me. I didn't do a whole lot of other things, but I did travel and I was going to Vegas, I think with a friend from med school, and I was talking to another friend from med school who was in residency across the way in Philly.

And she was like, "La Toya,  just get the direct flight. Just pay the extra so that you don't have to hop around on the  cheapest flight possible with all of these connections and stuff." She's like,  look at how many hours we work, like, do you really want to get there tired,  not be able to enjoy your trip? And then just have  to turn around  and come back again? Pay the extra money to get the direct flight.

Listen. Listen, if I had to pay $20,000 for the a direct flight somewhere right now, I would do it. Okay. Maybe not, but I took that and I ran with it, and I will always choose the most convenient flight. I am not hopping around with five different connections to get where I'm going. It's just not happening because she was right.

And this was residency. Shout out to Courtney. I know you listen, so I don't know if you remember that, but you told me that and it was such a relief and you know, I was fiscally responsible. I could afford it. And so like if I, you know, was doing credit card debt to, to be able to get this flight.

But it made sense and it changed my life and it was solely because. I worked hard and I deserved it. Okay, so the next time was, and I laugh because I remember having the conversation with one of my residency classmates who I'm very close with about the kind of car that I would have after residency, and I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna have like a Toyota Corolla.

And I remember her being so disgusted because she's a little bit bougie. I love her. Shout out to Tonya.  And she was just like, why? And I remember being like, but I don't wanna spend money on an expensive car. And this doesn't make any sense. I hadn't had like a lot of financial knowledge at that point.

It just didn't make sense to get an expensive car. Like expensive cars are expensive to maintain and you know, it, it never occurred to me to do anything else. And I graduated the residency and I continued with that thought. It was only when. Actually the friend that I went to Vegas with, and I were going to my other residency friend's house to see her after she had her baby.

Actually, Dr. P, my friend from the very first episode who got me through my postpartum struggle. We were gonna see her and her husband was talking to us. He's nonmedical an executive, and 

I was telling him  about my plan to get a Toyota,  and he was just like,  "What? No." He was like, "Just, just test a luxury car.  You would never be the same.  It will feel so good." I still remember that he said,  he is like,  you will feel so good.  And I was like, Oh, no. But something was in me  and it's just like,  you know what, let me, let me see  what he's talking about.  And I tested  a bunch of cars. I tested an Audi. No, I think I tested an Acura,  an Infinity, and then I tested a BMW. And the leather was so soft,  the drive was so smooth,  and I was like,  This is what  he was talking about.  I feel so good.

And I continued to lease three BMWs after that and I Never looked back, never regretted it, not once.

And I am so glad that I made the good financial decision at that time to lease, because that's the only way to have a luxury car, in my opinion. Again, my financial knowledge wasn't what it is now, but that was the smartest decision that I could have ever made besides just not having a car in general.

And. It made me so happy. It was so comfortable. It was so good, and it was for no other reason than I got to feel good right after this long journey of med school and residency. I. I got to do something that made me feel good and he gave me that gift, the permission to just do something and buy something because it felt good.

Ugh. I'll always be grateful to him for that. The next time. One of my friends, also from med school, actually from undergrad med school, my. College roommate too. Aw. Shout out to Liesel. I don't think she actually listens, but she told me, I don't even think she knows that she gave me permission for this, but we were in our group chat and she was like, yeah, once my flight is over six hours, I'm in business class.

And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Because if you know this girl, Liesel, Winsor. I know she won't mind me mentioning her whole name. She is the sweetest, the least extravagant, just one of the best people that I know, and the least bougie, and you would never expect, like I, it was so shocking to me to hear her say it so matter of factly, and I was just like, uh, she's right. She's like, yeah, the flight is too long.

You're too uncomfortable. You get there and you're uncomfortable and tired and. Listen, say less. Never have I ever taken a super long flight where I was, in the back of the plane. Not since then, maybe once I had the kids and it was just too many people to like, it was just too expensive.

Didn't make any sense. But even then, we don't go past economy plus, . But in general. If my flight is long, even sometimes with the kids, we are in business because she's right. Like, no, I worked too hard. So she indirectly gave me permission to travel in comfort.

Right. And it just came from the most unexpected place, and I think that's why I was able to switch so quickly is like, well, Liesl is doing this. She's not extravagant, she's not irresponsible. So, hey, if she's doing it, then I can do it too. I have permission to do it too.

And this last example may seem like it's outta left field. And definitely if you don't heed my warning at the beginning of the episode or if you skip over it and you haven't listened in a while, remember this show is for adults. So hopefully you're not playing this where your children can hear or anybody else can hear because we are about to have some adult language, right?

The last person that I wanna talk about that gave me permission and is similar to the BMW situation, but this is permission for a different type of pleasure. And that is my dear friend, my coach Alexandra Stockwell. She gave me permission. To have pleasure in a way that I had never experienced in my adult life.

And I guess I could do a whole episode on this 'cause I'm sure I've piqued your interest at this point. She gave me the permission to make sure that. Every sexual encounter that I had that I was getting pleasure that any, and not only from sex, but permission to have pleasure in life in general, just because I am a woman and I enjoy the body that I am in and. Now that I am saying this out loud on this podcast, I'm like, Hmm, this probably needs a little bit more explanation, but I'm not gonna give you any, I'm just gonna leave you hanging there.

But it has changed how I move through life. It has changed the relationship with my husband, our intimate relationship, and it was permission that I didn't even know that I needed, and it has transformed. Even, even for my husband, the permission to draw pleasure from things that are not even traditionally for me to get pleasure, even as I give pleasure to my husband,

her encouraging me to. Take pleasure in it. To have pleasure for myself and to make it a priority just changed everything. So I'm gonna leave that there.

And when I think about all of these people, When I think about how I live my life currently and the things that I do and the joy that I have and the pleasure that I enjoy, I have to remember that these people had a huge role to play in that and. I want to share that gift with you because let me tell you, it has been a gift.



It has been a gift to know 

that I am worthy of 

joy and comfort, 

and ease and pleasure 

just because... 

just because.

You have worked hard, 

you have sacrificed. 

You continue to do so. 

You have taken on this 

additional role that requires 

hard work and sacrifice. 

You deserve all of it, 

and this is your permission 

to get it,

to take it, 

to enjoy it.

Go forth doc and follow your desires. Buy the business class ticket. Lease the expensive car. Notice I said Lease. Don't buy. Get pleasure and ease and comfort wherever you can because you deserve it. And I want you to share this episode with another physician mom who needs permission to do something.

To be happier to make a bold decision because this extends beyond the things that I'm talking about, We sometimes need permission to live a life outside of the box that we have been put in by ourselves, by other people,  and it doesn't even have to be as direct as this. Liesl was just telling us what she did, and I took that as my permission, and so make sure you share this podcast.

You don't know how it will change that other doc's life. She may hear something and say, what people do that I can do that. If she can, I can because there's nothing special about me as wonderful and as amazing as I am. Not that different from you, doc. Anything that I am doing, you can do too. All the permission that I have gained can be granted to you as well, so share it with her.

Let her have this gift as well. Make sure you both leave a five star review on Apple Podcast and a five star reading everywhere else. Subscribe and follow and all the things we never miss an episode, and I'll see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.