85. Fire Your Financial Advisor and Free Yourself

Hey Doc,

We need to talk about something that I believe is absolutely essential for every woman physician — especially those of us juggling medicine, motherhood, and marriage.

Money.

Specifically, your knowledge of it. Your relationship to it. And the way you might be giving away your power around it, even if your income looks good on paper.

In this episode, I’m sharing how I fired my financial advisor (thanks to my husband, actually), learned to manage my money confidently, and why that decision transformed my sense of freedom.

This isn’t about becoming a finance pro. It’s about refusing to be disempowered in a system that already makes it hard for us to thrive.

You’ll hear:

• Why “my husband handles it” is not a financial strategy
• How financial advisors profit off your confusion and why most are not worth your coins
• The 3 things every physician mom needs to know about her household money
• Why money can buy happiness (but only if you have the right foundation first)

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about claiming your freedom — because financial knowledge is protection, peace of mind, and having the power to choose.

And I want that for you.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by money, avoided looking at your accounts, or told yourself “I’m just not good with finances” — this episode is for you. Listen now!

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Transcript

Hey Doc, let's talk about money. One of my favorite things to talk about, and I feel very strongly that women physicians, not just physician moms, should have a really good handle on their finances and increase their literacy because education is empowerment and we live in a capitalist society. So the only way that we can be empowered within this life that we are currently living, is to have the knowledge and to not defer it to other people and say, Oh well, I don't have time for all that. I... let some, let somebody else do it. This is a one time where I would implore you to not fully outsource and to do some of this education, do some of this work yourself.

So I wanna start with a story, and as usual, it is my story. So in residency I went to this, talk given by a financial advisor, and he was talking about disability insurance and how we should, uh, get disability insurance now because of the increase in, uh, rates when we become attendings. And it would be beneficial for your financial health and to actually protect you. You know, you went through all this training, you're gonna have this big jump in income and you can get hurt. So you wanna make sure you have your disability insurance. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is great. I'm going to get in on the ground. I'm gonna get this low rate. So I got disability insurance through him, and then he became my financial advisor. And it was great. Like I was making all this money. I don't actually remember what my first salary was, but it was, it was not too bad. You know, I was in the Central Valley, California. I worked for a health center that had this very unique compensation model, so I had a base, and then we caught a percentage of collections from the hospital, from like deliveries and stuff. And we were very busy, so I was making a lot of money. And he helped me do some investments.

I invested in a couple specialty funds that he recommended. I got some individual stocks. Shout out to having Nvidia back in the day, it has done me well. And everything was was great. You know, we would meet every so often. And then came, my husband. We met, things progressed very quickly, and I remember sitting, or standing in my apartment and he was over and he was like, we were talking about money for some reason, and he was like, why do you have a financial advisor?

And I was like, What do you mean? It's smart to have a financial advisor. He helped me with my disability insurance. He helped me with this other insurance policy. By this time I had had two insurance policies with him. My portfolio did so well over this year. He was like, No. He was like, You need to start educating yourself about money and you will see that you do not need this man.

So said, so done. I started reading, White Coat Investor, and my eyes were opened and I was like, Oh, I don't need this guy. And in fact, he has been scamming me like this whole life insurance policy. I don't need that. This other insurance policy, which by the way, I received notification that there was a class action lawsuit about that policy that he sold me, found out way after I fired him, so... good job hubby for getting me out of that. I was like, yeah, uh, I don't, I don't actually need this span. He's taken 1% of my money for, for what? So I parted ways with him and never looked back since, and this was like 2019, very shortly after I left residency and started working with him. And from then continued to read and grow, with entrepreneurship and doing locums, and everything that we are doing together as a family, my financial knowledge has really grown and I feel very, very, very strongly that other women physicians should at least have this baseline. So that they have the freedom, and the empowerment, and the protection that they need.

So I tell you that story so that you will know that I'm not coming from a judgy place... when I say all these things. And so that you'll know, just like everything else I tell you on this podcast, it's about you and it's about you being happy and free to do whatever it is that you want.

Because as I mentioned before, we live in a capitalist society. Everything is about money, whether you admit it or not, it controls everything. It controls you being at that job right now. Why does that saying exist 'golden handcuffs'? It's, it's about money, it's about benefits, and all of that is tied to your freedom, your happiness, your fulfillment. If you are living paycheck to paycheck, if the debt burden of your student loans is crushing you, you're not gonna be happy. You're not gonna feel free. So I really feel very strongly about all of this, and it is about you and making sure that you have what you need to be free So just remember that when I start saying things that may be like, Oh, that's harsh. I mean well.

Okay. So I wanna talk about a couple things, some barriers that a lot of women physicians have to increasing their financial knowledge and really taking control of their financial life and health. And the biggest one is that we just, most of us just, were not taught about money. At least not money at this level. You know, if even if you come from money, were you really taught about how to manage it, how to grow it, wealth building? Or was it just a knowledge that you had money in.. it's like it's coming, but I feel like a lot of us, and probably a lot of my listeners are just like me, right?

First generation physicians, didn't come from a lot of money, and are coming into six figures of money. Even if you have debt, you're still coming into a higher income and the knowledge is is lacking. Because in training, they're telling you, Hey, you're about to get a pay increase. It's coming. It's coming. Push through, it's coming. But they don't tell you what to do with it. They don't tell you how to manage it. So when it's here, it's just like, Uh, I don't know. And there are a lot of really deeply ingrained beliefs about money, and I see it a lot with my clients, with other physicians that I speak to. And those beliefs about money, your money mindset is very important because it affects not only how you manage your money, but it affects how you negotiate for your salary. It affects how you live your life. It affects your relationship with your husband, with your children. It affects everything

I see it all the time, like if you have a scarcity mindset that infects everything in your life, and I use that word very intentionally because you could be making a lot of money and still be an under earner, right? Still have this identity of poverty, and lack, and scarcity. Again, this has nothing to do with the actual numbers, nothing to do with the debt. It's about how you think.

So lack of knowledge is, is one thing, but money mindset issues is another. And not only is there a lack of knowledge, it is often discouraged for doctors to talk about money, right? We are told it's unprofessional, it's whatever, and there are lots of reasons for that. Mainly to keep us poor, right? So if we don't talk about it, we don't know who's getting paid more, who's getting paid less. We don't know how much the hospital's making versus how much we are making. We are told to not talk about it. So we don't get the education, we are not talking about it with each other. And then as woman, if you had it ingrained in you that money is a man's thing to deal with, then it's like, you can't win. But we are gonna change that. Right?

So since we're talking about men, another big barrier that I get from a lot of my clients is my husband deals with it. Especially if he's in finance.

Or my husband's in finance, he deals with it.

Or I don't have the time to deal with it, he just does it.

I don't wanna learn anything else, my husband does it.

I'm bad at money, my husband does it.

I had an overdraft fee 20 years ago, so I can't manage money.

Whatever the issue is, I have heard it all. But I'm here to tell you doc, if I mention something that is one of your barriers to increasing your financial literacy, I would encourage you to be open to the fact that that is not an excuse and that you need to come on this journey with me.

Okay, so let's talk about the husband thing. 'cause that is actually pretty significant for a lot of women and Pro-Marriage, Pro Husband Podcast. This is the part where it may diverge the most from my usual messaging, not only with the husband, with outsourcing, which I'm gonna get to when we talk about financial advisors, but your husband managing it is not good enough. I'll say that again. Your husband managing the money, is not good enough. You should still have a basic level of understanding of the finances of your home, regardless of what your husband is doing or managing. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard of a husband who dropped dead. A husband who wasn't paying taxes for a couple years, either on purpose or not. A husband who had a bunch of debt that the wife didn't know about. A husband who had another family. And this is not like lifetime drama. This is real life. And these are physicians as well. Nobody's gonna manage your money like you will, and that includes your husband. And, you know, it's a, it's a big deal for me to talk against husbands. It should be a partnership and no, I am not saying that you need to go and take over the management of the finances. You could need to go and start doing wealth building, and doing real estate, and doing all that stuff. I'm talking about knowledge, right? He can do the managing, but you at least need to know what is going on.

So i've had situations where I've asked clients, what does it take to run your household? Like how much money? And they have no idea, right? So there are a couple basic things that I think everybody should know, which I'm gonna go through later on, but having your husband do it is not good enough, unfortunately. This is a one time where I'll say, y'all need to do it together. Do not abdicate yourself from this role.

And I just want to pause for a second and give some context to how it works in our household so that, you know, I'm not advocating for this to be a contentious thing. It should be a partnership thing. We don't have a prenup. We will never have a postnup. We have joint accounts. Everything goes into one place, and then we have separate after. It's our money together. We know what is coming and going in each other's separate accounts. We, we do everything together. So I just want to give that context. You can do it like us, you can have it separate. It doesn't even matter. It's about knowledge and the ability to know what is going on in your house with your family. So that's the, the husband part of it.

The other big part that I wanna talk about is financial advisors. So, you know, I had one, I told you that story and given my experience and everything I have learned since then, I don't think you should have one either. And that is because these people are not smarter than you. They don't have some special knowledge or training to make you a bunch of money, even though they will say that. Financial advisors are for ultrarich people, like useful ones anyway, for special financial products that you or I don't even have access to. For millions of dollars. Well, if you have millions, good for you, girl. I love that for you. But for a regular physician salary, it is usually quite unnecessary and it is likely costing you money. So let's talk about that.

Like my financial advisor, most of them take a percentage of your portfolio. That's way too much money. Because in general, and we're talking like basic investment, the market is gonna go up. The stock market increases overall. So if you're like, but wait, no, I saw like a month ago my everything went down. The market tanked when Trump did this or whatever. Overall, big picture, which is how you should be thinking about your finances and investing. Big picture, the market is gonna go up. Your financial advisor investing in this fund versus this fund isn't doing anything special, and when they invest in special funds, the fees tend to be higher, so they are costing you money and they're getting their nice little commission from it.

And as your portfolio naturally grows, as you continue to earn your salary and as your best investments grow, they are making more and more money for not doing a whole lot. If you take your money and put it in some very boring index funds, you'll make just as much money from them, if not more. So they are costing you money in the fees that they charge. If they're on a retainer, which a lot of them are, and the specialty funds and they moving around and all that stuff costs money. Every time a trade is made, every time your money is moved, it's costing you money. And the other. Part of it is that a lot of them sell insurance.

Now, insurance brokers sell insurance. Why is a financial advisor selling insurance? Think about that. It's because they get money, they get commissions. You don't need whole life insurance. You don't need specialty insurance because you make too much and whatever else. My, my financial advisor told me.

There are other ways and often better ways to invest your money that do not involve high commission, high fee insurance products and I, they call them products for a reason. And you are not the one buying getting money from the product. They are You are being sold. You're not the investor in that situation.

You are the consumer. And the financial advisor is a salesperson. Why would you have a salesperson managing your investments?

So the overarching theme that I see is that most people use financial advisors as a surrogate for their own financial knowledge, and that actually includes husbands as well. It's like, well, they're the experts. I'm just not gonna not deal with it. I have learned enough. I don't have the time, but you have to have time for this, So, if you feel like you need a financial advisor, you absolutely need one. Make sure they're fiduciary, which means they are legally bound to have your best interest at heart. And that it's a fee only, meaning they do not take a percentage of your portfolio. You pay them one time and they do whatever.

They give you the advice. But having somebody on retainer usually doesn't make sense for the majority of us.

I have yet to meet somebody. When they tell me exactly what their financial advisor does for them, it's like, oh yeah. Ooh, I need to, I need to get on that. And people will like. Fight for their financial advisors. Like they made me so much money, they were my strategic partner. I guarantee you there's an actual expert in whatever that situation was, that you could have paid a one-time fee to give you the advice, or you could have gotten that advice for free without having a financial advisor on retainer.

This is not something to outsource, at least not at the expense of your own knowledge, because chances are it's gonna cost you. Okay.

So those are my two big things about the barriers to your knowledge and to fully accepting that this is something that is a necessity in your life. So the three things that every female physician needs to know about their household finances, and this is whether or not y'all do joint accounts, separate accounts, whatever.

We're talking about. What it takes to run your home. And then if you have separate accounts, whatever is going on separately. So you need to know your debt and not just your student loans, but hopefully you know what those are. But what car debt?

What is the mortgage on your house like any other debt that you have? And if you have credit card debt, I hope not, but if you have it as well, you need to know what your debt is. You need to know the cash flow. So people call it, the budget is kind of like preemptive, it's planning. So you could budget all you want, but what is actually coming in?

What are you actually spending? Right? So that's why I like to use cash flow. My husband likes to say burn rate, but it's basically what does it take to run your house? How much money does it take to run your house every single month? Right? Versus what is actually coming in. And then what is your runway?

How much money do you have that is accessible to you? Now if boom, you stop making money tomorrow, which is an unrealistic scenario because chances are your pay, your paycheck is lagged. Chances are you have credit cards to use. But let's just say how much money do you have to live on if you stopped earning, everything stopped.

How many months are y'all good for? Before you're like, oh, I need a job. I need some kind of income coming in. Right? So those are the three things. Your runway, your debt, and your cashflow. If you don't know what those three things are, even if you don't have the exact numbers in your head, you know exactly where to go to find those numbers.

Because in an app somewhere, it's in a spreadsheet, great. But if you have no clue. That's something that you need to find out. And I give homework. This coach gives homework. So your homework is to go and find those three things out and report back to me. Send me an email, send me a DM hello@drtoyacoaching.com and be like, I found it out and everything's fine.

Great. Or I found it out and we are in trouble. I just wanna know that you, you know, and tell me how it makes you feel. You have that knowledge and it should make you feel empowered. And if it's making you feel queasy, then there's work to do.

But at least you know, at least you know that there's work to do. At least you know, some changes needs to be made and you cannot change anything. You can't improve anything. You can't grow your wealth, you can't leave that job. You can't do anything if you don't even know. So I hope you'll stick with me and check out all the other things that I have to say and all of my other strong opinions. So remember, I'm doing this for you because I want you to have the freedom to leave that job and do whatever it is that you want.

Money does buy happiness, don't let them lie to you. That is something they tell poor people. Money can buy happiness. It's not gonna make you fulfilled. If you are not, it's not gonna fix your marriage. If it's shitty, it's not going to fix your relationship with your family. It's not gonna make your job any better.

But if everything is stable, you're trucking and you get a million dollars, you, you're gonna be happy. Every time I go on a trip and I spend that money, I'm buying happiness. In a capitalist society, let me tell you, money does buy happiness. It's not gonna fulfill you. It's not going to give you peace. It's not gonna do any of that. If you have all those things, you have the practices, you listen to this podcast, you coach your Dr. Toya, and you have your self worth and you know how to curate and protect your peace, and you have good relationship with your husband and you have all these things, and then you add money, bet your ass, you're gonna add happiness.

You are going to buy that happiness. So don't believe the lie that this is like, I don't need to know about money because money's not important. If you live in 2025 in the United States of America, in this world, money is important and more than the happiness that it will surely buy you, it will buy you freedom.

And that is the most important thing. So. I wanna see you on the next episode of Seth and Strollers. Go find out those three things. Bye.