90. Love, Motherhood, Medicine, and Life Reimagined with Dr. Sonia Singh

Hey Doc,

When you become a mom, everything changes— your body, your schedule, your sense of who you are. And when you’re a physician mom, that collides with a career that isn’t built for flexibility or rest.

In this conversation, Dr. Sonia Singh and I go straight into that tension — the messy middle between professional identity and motherhood. We talk about what it really looks like to become a mom in medicine, to return to work postpartum, and to rebuild your career in a way that actually fits your life.

Dr. Singh also opens up about the burnout that pushed her to make a change—and how she rebuilt her career by creating her own micropractice, designed for busy women and moms who want more control over their time and energy. It’s a conversation about honesty, courage, and redefining what success in medicine can look like.

Key takeaways:

• Breastfeeding can be deeply challenging—even when you “know” what to do.
• Returning to work postpartum can hold both relief and guilt at the same time.
• The tension between professional life and motherhood is real—and worth talking about.
• Practicing medicine on your own terms is possible when you decide your life gets to come first.

This episode is for you, Doc—the one listening and wondering if there’s another way. You can build a life that fits you—aligned with your values, your priorities, and the season you’re in right now.

Go listen now, and share it with another doc who needs proof she’s not crazy for wanting something different.

Dr. Sonia Singh is a board-certified internist, writer, practice consultant, and mom. Born and raised in Northern California, she attended medical school at UC San Diego and completed her residency at Stanford. During residency, she experienced profound burnout and nearly left clinical medicine altogether. A decade later, she’s deeply grateful she didn’t. Her career path over that time has also been her own wellness journey. Today, Dr. Singh runs a solo direct care micropractice and mentors physicians who are building similar paths. A creative at heart, she feels fortunate to practice medicine in a way that allows her creativity to thrive.

For more information about Dr. Sonia Singh, you can visit her website and Juniper Modern Primary Care, and connect with her on Instagr

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Transcript

Hey Doc. I am back and I am so excited because I have not done an interview in such a long time, but it is only fitting that I have my guest here. We've been going back and forth trying to schedule for such a long time, and I'm very excited to finally have her hair. I have Dr. Sonia Singh. She is an internal medicine doc.

She is a practice owner, she's a consultant. She's doing all the things. Even a writer and she's a mom just like you, and I'm so excited. So welcome Dr. Sonya.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

So tell me, how many kids do you have?

I have two.

Um, my son Remy is five and almost a half, and then I have, uh, a one and a half year old. He's gonna be two in December.

Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. I didn't realize all kids were so close in age.

Yeah. Um, how long have you been married? Uh, I have been married, I got married in 2018 and actually that's also when I moved to Houston.

So it's What does that make it Almost eight, no, seven years.

I don't do simple math, so

whatever you say is

correct. Okay. Where did you, um, grow up? Where were you before?

Yeah, I'm originally from, um, the California Bay area. Mm-hmm. So I grew up in Santa Cruz. Um. Lived in California most of my life. Uh, went to undergrad out there and then lived one year in New York City for grad school before I went to medical school.

Studied nutrition and then, um, went to med school in San Diego. Went back up to Bay Area for residency and then met my husband kind of on a blind date and ended up dating him long distance. He somehow convinced me to move to Houston, and so, uh, I've been here since 2018.

Okay. I have so many questions.

Yeah. So you were one of those California people 'cause we just moved from California. Oh, you in Central Valley

where you were from? Okay. Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm from the Caribbean trained, went to school in dc, trained in Philly, then moved out, uh, Stockton. Well Central Valley. Yeah. For my first job and then met my husband stayed there and so, you know, a lot of people don't really know anything about the Central Valley, but I'm sure you do.

I do. So I was in, I was in Modesto, then moved up to Stockton. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it's definitely different. So I want to know. How he got you down here. But first of all, tell me about this blind dates.

I know. Um, well, so we have this joke that, um, our moms have been dating longer than we have. Uh, so, if you've ever seen the show Indian Matchmaking, it kind of had that vibe where our families were sort of in cahoots and had a mutual friend and they were like, Hey, we have a 30-year-old unmarried doctor child, and we would really love them too.

Uh. Meet your son, who is also an unmarried 30-year-old doctor. And you know, when my mom kind of brought the idea to me, I was like, that's ridiculous. Like, I live here. He lives in a totally different state. Like, I don't know how you think that's gonna work. I had no desire to move out of California at that point.

I also didn't like the idea of being set up by my family with somebody like that was not how I pictured meeting a spouse. But at the time I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was sort of like, okay, well, whatever, I'll give it a shot. So he sent me, uh, an email and just introduced himself and I've gotten these emails in the past, um, and.

you know, oftentimes they kind of sound like job interview, resume type emails where they're like, I am doing my fellowship here and I do research in this, and, you know, and none of those were ever very interesting to me. Um, and so he sent an email that was nothing like that and just didn't describe any of the usual.

You know, data that these people that people try to send in these emails. It was just kind of a funny, charming, short introduction email. And so I felt bad not writing back. 'cause I could tell he had like put some thought into it and he seemed like a nice normal guy. So I sent him an email back and then.

We sent a couple of emails back and forth, and then eventually I kind of said, you know, you seem like a nice guy, but like, I'm not really interested in dating long distance. Like I don't really see this as the way I meet my partner. So like, sorry. And I kind of just ghosted him. And then, uh, a week later he was just like, I just wanted to send you one last email because like, I like you and I think like, you know, we should maybe try to meet up or something.

So anyway, we went on a blind date kind of in LA and uh, we just immediately hit it off and, and after that we visited each other every two to three weeks for over a year. And then we got engaged. So that's how I, wow. That's how I ended up. That

is persistence. Yeah. I commend him because off of those emails, he determined that he liked you that much.

You know, I think he at least knew that he wanted to meet up and I, you know, to me it didn't feel real until, like, to me it felt like a pen pal or something. Yeah. Um, until we met up, but it was only a few weeks of writing emails where before we were like, okay, let's actually see if this is something that works in real life.

And so, um, I went to LA for a job interview and I was staying with a friend, and then he had a. Vacation during that time from residence, or he was a fellow at that time? Yeah. So then he, uh, he flew out to LA and I picked him up from the airport and we went on a date. Um, and yeah, the rest is history.

Wow.

I love that story. And you know, the idea of being set up, I don't know. Before it was like, oh, that's terrible. But it saves a lot of hassle, man.

And you know, yeah. When I talk to my friends now who are still single, I just, yeah. Feel, I feel like, you know, I narrowly escaped like a very difficult dating scene.

Um, and you know, I had dated in the usual ways of meeting people at school and, you know, the normal routes. And it was starting just about starting to be the. Era where like online dating was kind of almost the norm. Like everybody was just starting to get online and I could just never get behind that.

It always just felt like I was meeting a stranger. Um, and somehow, you know, even in this case it was kind of a blind date, but it didn't feel quite that way because he was so deeply vetted. Yeah. Like everyone was like, he is really nice. He's like a serious guy, like wants to, you know, a relationship, he's not messing around and Right.

I just felt this reassurance that like a lot of our values and goals were the same. Yeah. And so, um, there wasn't any question about that going into that date. Yeah.

That's so interesting because it was around that time. Let me think, when did I leave residency? 2015. I.

Was out in California by myself, and I also was wedded out by the online dating thing. Mm-hmm. Until I read an interview, and I think it was from Azi Ansari. I don't remember exactly who it was, but he was talking about how his parents had an arranged marriage and how he came to evolve in his. Thinking about meeting a partner and whatever he said in that interview, maybe be like, you know what, I'm gonna try online dating because if I met somebody in a grocery store, I don't know anything about them.

You know, it would be the same thing, except there's this volume, like the numbers game, right? And so said, so then I met my husband and that just evolved the way that I thought about what. What ways I would be open to meeting people and different things like that. Um, so it's just very interesting to hear the different.

Beliefs and thoughts about it. And this was definitely, this was 2016, so online dating, the app that we met on is not even in existence anymore.

Is it? Uh, coffee Meets Bagel?

No, it was this thing called Soul Swipe. It's like, for black people.

Oh, okay. It was like,

it was like Tinder, like a swipe right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

I remember there was kind of always like an app du jour, like a, you know, that everybody was okay. Cupid for a while and Yes. Yeah. You know, I, it's, I, I also tried to open my mind to the online dating, but I feel like with that you just, you're so quick to discount people that maybe if you did have a slow burn way to meet them in real life, yeah.

They would feel totally differently. So I just could never kind of get over that hump, you know? Yeah. And then sometimes, you know, the way someone presents themselves there is not exactly how they are in real life. Whereas if you meet them in real life, like they have no choice. Like they're, you're seeing them, you know?

Right. You're seeing how they're, so, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I feel for people who are like trying to meet somebody in the world now 'cause it feels like a. A hard place to do that.

Yeah, it feels like a shit show actually. Yeah. So yes. But we lucked out. Very happy about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how, when you got engaged, yeah. How was the convincing part? Had you already decided, okay, I'm engaged, I'm pretty much gonna move to Houston. Or was it like an argument or what was it? No.

Well, you know, it's funny 'cause it was kind of like unspoken. We didn't really talk about it until. We were officially engaged and like, I remember the day after we got engaged, she was just like, so I will do whatever you want me to do.

Like if you really want me to move here, strong thoughts. If you really want me to move here, I'll move here. You know? Um, but the difference between us was like, I had lived in a few different parts of California and a lot of my friends had dispersed, you know, the Bay Area is like so expensive to live so.

In that era of life, like late twenties, early thirties, like no one's really like, fully, like a lot of people had not really settled, you know? Yeah. And he had been in Houston for like a decade. Like he had gone here for, at Baylor, for medical school and for residency and for fellowship. And so he had a lot of friends from like every phase of his life.

And you know, I, I felt like he had really built a network here and was very entrenched, whereas like, I. Was, I lived with my family for the last part of my residency and then I bought a house like five minutes from my aunt and uncle, and I was hanging out mostly with my cousins. Like I, my social circle in Northern California at that time in my life was basically my family.

So I sort of felt like if I plucked him out of his life and made him move there, um. He was gonna have to spend a lot of time with my family. Yeah. And not even with our peers. Like, not even with other young couples 'cause I didn't have that network here. Whereas for him, like his friends in Houston were all, you know, around our age.

Like they were all in the same phase of life. Like kind of married or newly married with kids with, you know, barely starting to think about kids. Yeah. So it just felt like his social circle here would've been a lot easier for me to kind of pop into and, um, be a part of. And I'm also kind of an introvert, so, and he's not, so I felt like to pluck him out of that and have him kind of live this like kind of small, close knit life would've been hard.

And, um, probably for me to move to his. World would've been like, good for me. And I liked the idea of starting our life together in a place that was like a little bit more neutral and like away from our family. His family's in South Texas, so, um, I thought, you know, this might be a nice place to start our life and it's less expensive.

So just like what we could do with the money that we had, you know, he was still a fellow at the time. Just felt like it was like a lot more manageable. So I kind of originally came with the thought of like, okay, like we're gonna, we're gonna try this out. Like this is gonna be an adventure. Presented a very curated version of Houston.

Like we were going to the Menil and the MFA and like eating at farm to table restaurants. Right, right. He showed me the best of the city in the every visit that I had. Um. So, not that it's not, I mean, it's a great city and like, you know, it's a very livable city.

So anyway, I moved and then, you know, all of a sudden we both had jobs and then I started a business, and then we had a house and a mortgage and kids and a dog. And now it's kind of like, we're not

going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. This is it.

Yeah. And actually, I mean, on the topic of motherhood, a big part of the. Thing that keeps me here is, um, so I had my first baby in spring of 2020, which my husband's an ICU doc. I was doing outpatient primary care. I mean, I still do outpatient primary care, but, um, that year was, I always call it like a perfect storm, like it was COVID.

You know, we were both under like tremendous stress. We were like brand new parents. And coincidentally, three of his really good friends from medical school all were also having babies that year. So four of us delivered. Within a few months of each other, and.

Now, like the connection and kinship that I have with those other moms and like those couples Yeah. Feels like I can't, I can never like recreate that somewhere else now. Yeah. Because we're, I mean, we're like just so bonded now because of that whole experience and having our kids at the same time and our kids like, you know, they think they're cousins.

They'll say, hi cousin. Bye cousin. Aw. Um, because we, we go on vacations with them every year. Like, oh, nice. Each other for holidays. It's a, it's like a little clan, I think in Japan it's like a moai, you know, like we're like raising our kids together and we're connected.

So, that's also part of the reason I've stayed. Yeah,

yeah. No, that's a good reason. 'cause you know, I was, I was calculating, I'm like, your family's in California. His is in South Texas. That means you'll don't have family around, but you, you created one, you created your village. So that's wonderful.

Yeah, I mean, my heart goes out to all of the other physician moms out there who are in that situation of dual physician household or even just like some other.

Rigid high stress job and their partner with no family in the area because it's such a delicate ecosystem. It's like if my nanny calls in sick, there's nobody else. Like, it's not like I have someone on backup. It's not like I can call my mom or my mother-in-law and say, Hey, do you think you can watch the kid?

Like there's nobody. So it was like in my traditional job, it was like, cancel 20 patients or send your kids sick to school or you know, like the, the choices are terrible. The choices

are terrible. Yeah. The choices are terrible. Alright, so I want to go back to you're here. When did you actually move?

'cause y'all got engaged.

Yeah, we got engaged in 20. Uh, 17 and then we got married in 2018 and I actually, I moved like two months after the wedding. It was like, I, I stayed my old, at my old job, one of the doctors was coming back from a maternity leave. Mm-hmm. So I didn't wanna leave before she was able to come back.

'cause I already knew I was putting a strain on the clinic leaving like. In primary care, you just, it's so heartbreaking to leave a job. Yeah. Because, you know, you, you, we choose this field because we like those relationships and, you know, building those and so it just feels like a breakup, like when you're leaving a place.

Yeah. So anyway, I stayed until she was able to come back from her maternity leave, and then I moved and, um. I moved and my medical license for Texas was like still in process. And then my credentialing for my job was still in process. So I didn't have a job. I was fun employed for like three or four months, um, which was honestly fun.

I just got to see the city and explore and we got a puppy during that time and. Um, we used to live by Buffalo Bayou, so I would just like go to the Bayou every day with my Buffy. Um, I did all kinds of home improvement projects Yeah. And my husband's bachelor pad. So, um, yeah, that was kind of like a fun little, um, break for me after, you know, train all those years of training and work and all that.

So.

I love that. 'cause I always recommend, like my clients, everybody, if you are switching jobs, take some time off. Yeah. So you'll never get that time back. It's, you'll never, it's

impossible to do as a doctor in other scenarios. So we don't get sabbaticals really. So that's your chance,

right. So when did you decide to start having a family?

By the time we got married, I think I was 30. Almost 32. So part of me was like, you just don't know you, you have so many friends who have struggled with their fertility. I think after about a year of being married, we were kinda like, well, we should probably try this, because, you know, if it, if it's not working out, like this could be a long road.

Yeah. You know, um, and I think we knew that we wanted to have more than one. And so if you kind of do the math, you think like, okay, I'm gonna be like almost 40 by the time we're having that cycle. I would've loved if I had gotten married at a younger age to just have more time to ourselves.

But yeah, it felt a little bit like there was some time pressure to try. So, um, so yeah, I think, you know, after we were married for about a year. We felt like, okay, like maybe we should try this. We were fortunate to not have to try for too long and yeah. And a fairly like un uneventful pregnancy.

Perfect. And how was the actual birth?

my first baby was like a textbook. Like it ev literally everything was like a textbook., I started having contractions at home, but I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not. And I, I remember I was about to go to bed at like 11:00 PM and I thought.

Maybe I should just ask, like, I should just call the on-call person or labor and delivery and just ask. So I called Labor and they, I called and they funneled me to the labor and delivery nurse, triage nurse. And I said, oh, you know, I, I'm having interactions, like they're really regular and like, I don't even remember how many minutes apart they were at that time, but they were pretty close together.

And she was like, so you're having them right now? And I was like, yes. And she was like, okay, you sound way too comfortable. Like if, if you're not like in pain, it's probably just. You know, Braxton Hicks like, just wait, just wait it out. So I said, okay. And then I hung up and like an hour later my water broke in the bed and I was like, I think it's happening.

My water broke sometime between 11 and one, and then we drove to the hospital and just on the drive to the hospital, they became like so painful and intense. And I was like, oh, this is labor. Like this is what labor feels like. And so I think we got to the hospital between like one and 2:00 AM and.

I got like a chef's kiss, wonderful epidural, and I wish I remember the anesthesiologist's name. I could give it, give him a shout out. But it was perfect. I was like, so comfortable. And then I just, I had a normal vaginal delivery at 8:00 AM and the baby was there and it was, I remember like looking at the nurse and I was like, is that it?

Is it over? And she was just like, yes. Like you're still, the epidural is still working. Like it'll feel bad later, but like, yes, it's over. . And the hospital was just really, really quiet.

'cause it was like right during the beginning of the shutdown. And I had stopped working two weeks before because I was worried about exposure to COVID and having to be, at that time they were like actually still separating moms from their babies. Like just in the very early days when if you tested positive and so.

I was like terrified of that. I do a COVID test like a week before my, I was supposed to be due. So it was very quiet and peaceful. We had no visitors and , that was it.

How did you feel about the no visitors part?

You know, I didn't know any different.

So like, it really did bother me and we were also just so scared of the baby getting sick. Um, that we were grateful to not have any exposure. And you know, we had my parents fly out, um. I can't really remember the details now, but I just remember that we basically had them also kind of locked down before the baby came and they wore, like, they must have just looked ridiculous when they flew out from California.

They were just like in like a hazmat type suit. Yeah. Trying to, you know, get here and like not Yeah. Getting anything from the airport or from traveling. Um, and uh, yeah, so both of our parents. Uh, were here when I came home from the hospital and we had the mask when they were holding the baby for the first few days, and then eventually we stopped.

And so, yeah, it didn't, honestly, it, it, it, I guess it is weird now, you know, if you had a baby pre COVID, but like, I didn't, I didn't know any different, so like, you know, it wasn't a strange experience to me that, you know, my close relatives like didn't see the baby for a year. But yeah. Can imagine how for other people that would be weird.

Yeah, it's, I'm glad that they were able to come and I'm glad that they were on board with respecting all of the precautions that y'all put in Yeah. For them to fly when the hazmat suits and all that stuff. Yeah. Um, that was, that was really nice. So how was the postpartum period for you?

, So I had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding and, you know, I think I was like aware that it was going to be hard.

But. I don't think, I just fully appreciated how incredibly hard it had been and especially 'cause my pregnancy and delivery had just been so like natural and uneventful. I felt like, okay, yeah, this is just, my body's just gonna do this. Um, and it just didn't. And I, you know, I think I could have done, well, I know I could have done better with better lactation support, but I just got like the one visit with somebody in the hospital and I was like a zombie at the time.

And I just remember her like. It was like that Charlie Brown teacher where she's like, BA, yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay. And then afterwards I was like, I looked at my husband, I was like, what did she say? Like ice, heat, like what do you do when you're engorged? And he was like, oh, I don't know.

I thought you were listening. I was like, okay, great. Like neither of us have any idea. I remember like getting engorged and then like rumbling, ruffling through all the papers from the hospital trying to find, did she write ice or heat? Like I just couldn't remember any of it. Um, and I was doing virtual, like I was doing a virtual lactation consultant because we were so afraid to have anybody in the house or to take the baby somewhere.

And, um, that was just not cutting it. Like it was, it would help, but like, I, I needed somebody to put their hands and position and it was so hard. So I ended up like not being able to really breastfeed, like I think I tried for six weeks and then I, he was on all formula after that, which of course I like have all kinds of mom guilt about.

Yeah. But like, I don't think without. Hands-on support. I could have done anything else. Yeah. Um, the second go around, um, which was just a year, a couple years ago, um, I, I preselected a lactation consultant who came to my home. She was amazing. Nice. Um, and I was able to breastfeed for I think like eight or nine months.

It was still really challenging. So like, I just. Something about my anatomy and my supply. Mm-hmm. And then also the baby's like, it was, it was not easy for me. Yeah. But with, with a ton of support, I was able to do it for much longer. Um, and now I recognize, like, given how hard it was that I was like doomed back into my anyway, because I really just didn't have, I didn't have the right preparation.

I didn't have the right. Support. I just like, I had no idea what I was doing, so,

yeah. And so with the second one where you were able to breastfeed for longer, were you still pretty stressed out because of how difficult it was? Like how was the actual journey?

Oh yeah. I mean, yes, I had a lot of stress about it beforehand.

I. But, you know, at the same time I sort of was like, okay, if I can do any more than six weeks, I'll be proud of myself because at least like that's something, and, the first time around, like the postpartum nurse immediately gave me a shield, a nipple shield. And I think, yeah, I think that like actually led to like less stimulation and problems with mm-hmm.

The supply and then the baby was just always needing the shield anyway. I just didn't realize like all the problems with the shield. Right. And so the second time, what's reason for her

giving you the shield?

You know, at the time I was like, this thing is magical. Look la baby just like latches on right away.

Like, it just seemed like a godsend when she gave it to me. 'cause otherwise he was like having so much trouble latching. But I just, I didn't realize how much it changes the efficiency of breastfeeding and the stimulation and all of that. Yeah. So anyway, um, the second time around, we did not. Touch a shield.

We did not go anywhere near Shield. Yeah. And my second baby was just also like more robust and like hunger. Like he just, he, he, he was more motivated to figure it out. And my first baby had some to, he had congenital TOIs, so like his neck couldn't turn in certain positions, so I could only get him to feed and or even try to latch in certain positions.

So there's a lot of complicating factors, it was definitely something I was nervous about going in, but I just, again, I was like telling myself, okay, you have a lot more support this time. You know a lot more and whatever you can do is probably gonna be better than what happened the first time.

And that's good enough. You know, like I was not putting pressure on myself to get to a year. 'cause I just was like, I just knew that that was not honestly realistic for me. So,

yeah. So how, how did you make the decision to stop at eight or nine months?

my body just kind of decided, like my supply just kind of started to dwindle kind of precipitously.

And my period came back. Like it just, my body was, my body seemed to be done with it. Right? And , I could not keep up with the baby's needs. And so, uh, we kind of started transitioning to formula and then once you do that, it like pretty. Precipitously just disappear time. I feel like it just kind of decided that it was time.

Yeah. It's a complicated, complicated relationship. Yeah, very much so. And there's so much pressure. I feel like there's more pressure on us as physicians to do this thing because we know all the science and the reasons that's important. And I sometimes I wonder like, how can we reduce that pressure for people who are coming up or for ourselves?

cause it's a lot.

Yeah. I mean, I, I, I think now back to how many people I know who were just like very determined to like, I'm gonna get to a year.

Yeah.

And that is, I mean, I'm, I admire those people so much that is like, so incredibly hard. But I think we have to do a better job of acknowledging that.

That's a lot to ask of yourself, like especially when you are working full time and you have other responsibilities, you might have other children like,

yeah,

that is a lot. And like, yes, that may be like the ideal in terms of, you know, a few IQ points and antibodies and so many other things, but your total energy, your mental wellbeing, your amount of rest, your ability to sleep, like all of those things are also like part of the equation and.

Yeah. For me it was just, it was so hard that it, it felt obvious to me that like, I could not do it. Yeah. I could not do it for a year or it would be kind of like, um, taking away from other parts of my wellbeing and the baby's wellbeing for me to try to do that. So,

yeah. I think that that last part is important and something that's skipped over because we are doing this for the baby.

We are trying to get a year for the baby. But if you are tired and stressed out and irritable, that is not helping the baby. Baby needs rested, happy mom, and more than breast milk. Yeah, I know That might be sacrilege to Yeah,

yeah.

To lactation consultants out there, but I know Said it.

Don't say it.

so you stopped at around six weeks and how much, if any, had that experience affected like your mental health and the rest of your experience postpartum?

I definitely had this feeling of failure around that issue.

Um, and my baby was. Kind of on the smaller side. He did, he had all of these appropriate, like growth milestones at that time, but he, he, it was very hard to get him to. Take like the adequate amount of formula even. Um, and so I think with every phase it was like, okay, well maybe the breast milk was just too challenging for him and like, now we're gonna do formula, it's gonna be better.

And then formula was hard and then we would try different formulas. So like, so feeding was like generally kind of a big challenge during that time. Um, I think before I had a baby, I had this idea of like, I might be one of those people who just has a baby and just like decides they just wanna be a mom all the time.

And like, maybe I'll decide, I just don't wanna go back to work or, and I was honestly surprised at myself that I did not feel that way at all. Yeah. Like I had the baby and I sort of had this feeling of like. Man, when I'm home with this baby, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't know if I'm doing it right.

Whereas like when I'm at work, I'm doing a thing that I trained for like a decade to do and I feel like I do know what I'm doing and that feels a lot better for me. Um, so, you know, I remember feeling like I had to start my maternity leave two weeks early 'cause I had to quarantine. Yeah. And so I was upset about that 'cause I was like, oh, I'm not gonna get the full.

Three months with this baby. I'm gonna go back when he's more like, um, you know, between eight to eight and 10 weeks. And I actually felt like when it was time I was like ready to go back. Like I just wanted adult time. Yes. Like I wanted to feel, I wanted to put on real clothes and I wanted to like talk to other humans and I wanted to like not be inside my house especially 'cause it was during COVID, like we were not going anywhere at all.

I was feeling a little stir crazy by the time my maternity leave was over. Um, so I remember feeling surprised by that reaction that I like actually was right ready and excited to go back to work. But then I went back to work and I just felt like, oh my God, now it's just my whole life is work and I have to like take care of this other human and continue connecting with him and bonding with him.

And at the time, like my day, my first patient was like seven 15 or seven 20, so I would usually. Like leave for work before seven. And so sometimes he was still asleep like when I was leaving, and then my last patient was like four. And then a lot of times I would still be charting until. Almost five. And then five is like the worst time to drive home.

So then like some days I was getting home at like six. Yeah. And she would go to sleep at seven or seven 30. And so I was really having a hard time figuring out like how these two things were compatible, you know? Yeah. It just felt like I was spending all of my mental time, my time and mental energy on work.

And then when I would come home, there was like. Such little left for him. And I would have to scrape the bottom of the barrel just to like, be positive and happy and, you know, whatever for the one hour that I got to be with him. Um, and then of course, like, you know, there was nothing left for my husband, right.

Like that, that, you know, the last couple hours of the day were just like, oh, we. Feed ourselves, and then we have to clean up after ourselves and then we have to like get to bed at a decent time. Um, and my son was also not like sleeping through the night for quite a while. Like actually, I guess we, I mean we did sleep train him.

So he would like, I think he was probably six months when we kind of started some sleep training. But. Even though he had a good bedtime routine, he would go to bed for a long time. I felt like he would still have like a one nighttime awakening. Yeah. Like in not a predictable way, which is like the worst type.

Yeah. Where you're like, oh, is he gonna wake up again? Does he need something? You know? At that time I was working 0.8 FTEs and so I had four. Full days of clinic. And then I had one admin day where I didn't have to go in. And I mentioned my son had, um, torticollis. So like we were doing on that one, like on Mondays I would take him, I would do pt, actually.

A PT would come to our house, we would do pt, and then I would take, he had a helmet, so I would take him to his helmet appointments. on those days I felt like I was like. Full-time mom. Yeah. And then Saturday and Sunday, I mean, my husband at that time was working a lot of weekends during COVID at like the peak of COVID.

And so my husband would be like, okay, on the days you're working, you're complaining about work. And on the days that you're at home fully with the baby, you're complaining that you're all just home with the baby and like, that's all you're doing. And he was sort of like, I don't know what you're wanting, you know?

Yeah. Even at the time, I didn't know what I was wanting. I was kind of like, I don't know. I wanna go to work sometime, but I wanna also see my baby. But I also wanna have energy for both things. And like, I just feel like there's no in-between, you know? And I was already working part-time, so it felt like.

Okay. What else is there? Like, how can I do my job any other way? You know? Anyway, that was kind of what the first year Yeah. Year was like.

I'm so glad you shared all of that because I feel like we don't talk about that particular experience enough. Mm-hmm. All you hear, even in our physician groups, and it's just like, I don't wanna go back.

How could I take, how can I ever leave my. Baby 12 weeks is not long enough. But there are the people that are like, yep, I'm ready. I'm ready to go back. I remember when my nephew was born, I was taking care of him while my sister went back to work 'cause she had to go back to work very early.

And I rem that was my first taste of that feeling. Long before I was a mother. I was like, I need to talk to somebody. Else? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like somebody who can talk back to me, this baby is cute, but I mean, come on. Yeah. Like this is not enough. So I think that is an important experience to highlight. 'cause there are people who may be feeling guilty about the fact that they don't want to stay home and be a stay-at-home mom.

Especially if you thought that that's how you were gonna be. It may feel like a little bit of a letdown and like maybe you're a bad mom or. Whatever, but it is a normal experience that is a variation of normal, I should say. Um, so I'm very happy that you mentioned that and then the confusion of going back and being like, wait a minute, I don't wanna be here either.

Yeah. Yes, yes. At the time I had like a lot of like self blame about it, where I was just like, yeah. Why am I never happy? Like why am I not happy here? Because I always feel like, oh, I should be over there. Yeah. But then when I'm there, I'm like, oh, I feel so much better when I'm at work because like here, I just don't know what's going on.

Like I, yeah, I really felt like, and this is like a theme, I think that's happened like a few times in my life. Like I had. Pretty intense burnout as a resident. And I just thought like, this is a problem with me. Like this is my defect. Like I am not handling residency well enough. Like I cannot cope with the stress.

Like I cannot stay up all these hours. Like something is wrong with me. And like the point I make now about this experience of being like a full-time mom. Like I have patients who are in this position where they're full-time moms, like that's what they're doing. And sometimes they, I think they're like.

They feel strange for being stressed out or feeling like they need. They're like, I don't know. I just, I feel like, why would I hire somebody to help me? Because like I have time, like I'm not going to a job. And what I constantly remind them is like being a full-time stay at home mom, like that is also not natural.

Like we are meant to raise our babies in villages and tribes with like all these other people in that village helping us. You know, like I remember my lactation consultant was like. You know, I am having, was having some meltdown in like the first couple weeks of breastfeeding and she was like, listen, like this is what we're doing right now is like still not natural.

Yeah. Like you are meant to be like having like the elder women washing your hair and like somebody holding your baby. Like it's not normal what you're trying to do, you know? Yeah. Um, so like, don't beat yourself up. And at that time, I just could not. See outside of like the self blame and like thinking like, okay, I was, I remember looking at all the other women in my clinic.

My clinic was like mostly female at the time. I was looking at the MAs and the doctors and the, you know, the admin. I was like, all these people have children. Like how are they doing it? You know? And like, what is wrong with me that I feel like this is so hard, you know? And I just think we , as society have just normalized that like, oh yeah, that level of like.

Guilt and frustration and exhaustion and misery is like just part of isolation. It's just part of it. Yeah. Um, and that's sad. You know? That's really sad.

It is. It is. It's, it's the isolation. And even if you are surrounded by people, 'cause everybody wants to come and hold the baby and do this stuff, if they are not actually helpful, you are even more isolated because you're like, well, nobody is seeing me.

Nobody is seeing what I. Need what I actually need. Nobody's seeing how much I'm struggling. They either think I'm holding all together or they think I'm anxious because I'm a first time mom and they can't see that I am struggling. So yeah, it is a very interesting place that we have come to where it's just this expectation that.

being a stay at home mom is not a work. Like one of my favorite titles that I've tried to start saying all the time is a non-paid working mom. 'cause that's what they are.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

And I love that your lactation consultant said that to you because some of them can be quite militant and make you feel a lot worse for not being able to breastfeed and stuff.

So that was a, a very kind and wise thing that she shared with you because it's true.

Yeah.

Yeah. Alright, so you are back to work. Struggling. You're unhappy at work, unhappy at home. Yeah. What, what happened? Unhappy all the time. Blaming yourself. Your husband's like, I don't know what you want, woman. Yes. What?

What happened after that?

I mean, I was like truly miserable for a period and I just remember there was like a several month period where I was just kind of like tossing and turning at night and just feeling like. Something has to change. Yeah. But like, I don't even know what I want, you know? And like I, at that time, my husband was just like, do whatever you want.

Like if you wanna just quit, just quit. And I was like, oh no, I don't wanna do that. Right. You

know?

And he was like, if you wanna get another job, get another job. Do whatever you need to do to like, not be so unhappy. Yeah. And, it's one of those things where I had never thought about starting my own practice, like my dad.

Has his own, he's like been a private practice cardiologist for like over 40 years and my mom was like the manager in his practice for most of that. And. I, I just hated hearing them talking shop and about like hiring and firing staff and like all the drama that was going on in the office. And I was always like, okay, I don't have a wife that's gonna manage my practice.

Like, I am never gonna do that, right? I don't want to be like the HR person. I don't wanna look at the payroll, like I don't wanna do, I always just wanted to show up and do my job and like, take care of patients and not worry about all the stuff outside of medicine. And so I had no interest in private practice or.

Starting my own thing ever. and I just, I was exploring like other jobs at other places. They all kind of looked at the same to me. Like I was like, maybe it'll be marginally better, but like ultimately at that point I had worked at two different institutions and there were slight differences, but I could see how they kind of all kind of ended up yeah, being very similar.

And so then I started looking into kind of like tech startups. There's a lot of different health related telehealth type platforms. And some of them were interesting to me. And actually now I think this is like so serendipitous. This is like meant, was meant to be the universe, like did this to me.

But I applied to a couple of these jobs and I was kind of excited about them and I got like immediate rejections. Like I, I hit submit and then like within an hour I got like a rejection for two of them and I was like. What if I, I was like looking at my resume thinking like, did I put like a swear word in here?

Like I don't, why would I like immediately be rejected? And I, I even asked my brother-in-law is like a physician executive, and I was just like, I applied to these jobs and I got these immediate rejections and he was like. Maybe they think you're overqualified. Like, you know, I don't know. He just was like, who knows?

You know? Right. I realized like months later that I have a California license that was still active and a Texas license, and the California license renewal fees were sent to my old practice. Ah. And I just didn't know that they were not paid. And so like it was reading. It was reading as delinquent. And so I'm sure they have some automatic thing that like Right, right.

Licenses. And since mine was reading as delinquent in one of the states I'm licensed in, I think I got an automatic rejection. No one even looked at it, you know? And now I'm like, thank God that I did not get one of those jobs because I needed the. Push of like having no other options. Yes. To be like, you know, I'm just gonna start my own practice.

And so it was one of those things where I just, I kept looking around at all the alternatives and I just was like, none of these are gonna work. Like, or they're all gonna be about the same. And at the time I remember thinking like, my sister-in-law, my husband's uh, sister, she's a dentist and she has her own practice in Florida.

She's the boss. And it's so funny 'cause her girls, they're always like. Oh, harm and uncle and Sonya auntie, like they can't just come on vacation whenever they want. Like they can't come visit us whenever they want because like, they have to ask their boss, like if they can go on vacation. And our mommy's the boss, so like she can just decide when she goes on vacation.

And it's so funny how they're so aware that like their mom's the boss, you know? Um, and, and I just, every time we visited her, I just remember thinking like, she's figured it out. Like she, yeah. Is doing her job, her skill, her craft, and she's doing it on her own hours, on her own terms, like she. She runs a business, but like that gives her the autonomy and flexibility to like be there for all her, her kids, like both of her kids are in sports and like have a lot of games and practices and whatever.

And I'm always so amazed that like she's able to do all of that stuff. Yeah. You know? And she also, like the first time I visited her took me out to like a little, she took me to her office and showed me it, which I thought was just, it was so cute, you know, compared to like big box medicine. Yeah. Like it was hers, like it felt very like homey and like this is her little practice and.

Um, I remember she showed me, um, a little, a little neighborhood that was right by the office and it's like waterfront and, you know, there's like these beautiful beach houses and she was just like. Someday, like, I wanna live here. And now this is like, you know, four or five years later, they have built their own house, like right there.

And so she can walk to her office. Yeah. And I just was like, man, you have really figured it out. Yeah. Like you have, you've, you've triangulated this little life for yourself. Yeah. You know where your work and your kids' school and your home are all in this little pocket and you know, your life is just all.

Cohesive, you know? Mm-hmm. Um, and so I kept thinking about her and thinking like, maybe that's like the way you do it is like you just have to be in control. And so that's when the idea started kind of percolating. And then once I started exploring direct primary care DPC, and I like joined some of the Facebook groups, I, and met some of the people that were doing it, I just immediately had this feeling of like, oh, like these are my people.

Like these people are making me feel like. I am not crazy. Yeah. For like feeling the way I was feeling doing traditional medicine in the way that I was. So that's kind of where the turning point happened.

So your son is how old at this point?

he was not even one when I started exploring DPC. Like I was, like, I, I was having this feeling of like, oh my God, this kid's getting older. And you know, when they become more interactive?

Yeah. I just, the pressure of like, oh my God, I'm like missing things. Yeah. And I'm not bonding with him enough and like he's not gonna. You know, he's like being raised by my nanny. Like, yeah. That, that whole thing was happening. So he turned one in May and a few weeks later I put in my notice with my job first.

I, I tried to make it work. It was like one of those like when you're in a relationship that you know is doomed and you're just like trying everything to , make it work. So first I proposed like a new role for myself at my job. You know, where I, I wanted to do quality improvement.

I wanted to do kind of population health stuff. I wanted to do patient experience stuff. Like I had all these things that I was. In and wanted to do. Um, but there wasn't really a role that existed for that. And so I, I basically like tried to propose a new role where I would do less clinical time and more of some of this, which is sad because, you know, I, clinical medicine is why I went into med medicine.

Yeah. Like it is still like my number one, like what brings me joy and what I like to do, but it was like the way that you have to do it in traditional primary care is so time pressured and intense that I felt like I had to. Buy out some of my time doing other things. So I proposed this role. They, they spent like three months deciding about it, and then they sent me an email saying, no, no, that's not possible.

So my immediate reply was like, okay, I quit. And then, yeah, I had to work for four more months per my contract. Oh my

gosh.

So , during that time, I started. , Working on the practice like at night, you know, it would be like I would work the day, you know, be with my son and then once he went to bed I would like get on my computer and start, you know, talking to brand designers and pinning things on Pinterest and talking to a lawyer and, you know, doing all of those things.

So kind of getting the ball rolling.

I think it is very impressive that number one, that you tried to make it work, and it wasn't just, you know, this isn't working, I don't know what to do. I'm stuck. You tried different things to see and then when they're like, no, okay, well I'm out. I, all of those things.

That's like bravery. That's courage. That, that is very commendable. So I want to just acknowledge that because a lot of people would say stuck. So that's pretty cool that you were able to do that. Well, it's

funny because I look back on that the same way I look at those rejections from those telehealth companies, which is like, now I am so grateful that the job was as inflexible and as bad.

'cause if they, if they just threw me a bone, it was like that. Yeah. We'll just pay you $20,000 more. I would've been like, okay, I'll stay. But like they offered me absolutely nothing. Yeah. And so they made the decision easier. Like I really feel it was like the universe was pushing me towards this thing.

Yes. And all of those rejections and all, just it being as hard as it was. Um. Pushed me into being brave enough to make this. Yeah. Because I a hundred percent would have never done it if the job was a little more comfortable. Yeah. If they like, if they just, you know, gave into some of my requests. Yeah. If the pandemic hadn't happened, I mean, if so many little things were different, I would've just kept chugging along.

And I think so many people are in that gray zone where it's like not bad enough that they're like, I need to quit for my sanity. It's not good, you know? Yeah. And so they stay in it for years and years and years and never make a change. And so I, yeah, I, I feel like for me it was just like meant to happen that way.

Yeah. And know if I would see those people. I'm not even mad. I'm just like, thank you for being stubborn and just saying No. 'cause like that was not the right place for me.

Yeah.

I am going to lovingly push back on the release of any. Agency on your part or any like, yes, it was a universe. 'cause I fully believe in all of those things.

But the universe gives signs. God gives signs. Everybody has things that are presented to them, but all the people ignore it. They are like, that's true on this path. And they have to push through or they let fair take over. So I, I want to give you your flowers again. Oh, thank you. And just say that it, it was truly amazing that.

At the time you took those things as, okay, well this is a sign I'm not gonna keep pushing. And even now that you can look back without regret because both of those things could be like eaten away at your soul if you didn't look at it that way. Um, and it's amazing growth and it's amazing way to be, and I really think it's inspirational, so I just want to let that percolate.

Well, thank you.

Yes. Yeah, I mean, I will acknowledge that. There were a lot of moments over those months that other people really gave me a lot of encouragement, my husband was constantly like, do whatever you need to do. Like, I want you to be happy. Like, do whatever you need to do.

Even though I think he's by nature, like very risk averse and was sort of like, is this gonna work out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too, like, okay, well this is clearly not working, so we've gotta try something else. and, my brother-in-law who I mentioned, he's like, he's a physician executive. He had always been telling me like, I don't know why you're just like working for somebody.

Like you should just be working for yourself. And he would say it and I would think it was like a crazy idea. Yeah. And he just kept saying it until one day I kind of just believed him and I was, he was just like you, you can do this. Like, I don't know why you were like, he was just like, you're crazy for.

For, you know, letting all these people just tell you what to do. You could choose, like, you, you have a choice in this. Yes. You know? Yes. And that just felt like such a radical idea to me. And I think that is such a radical idea to so many physician moms, um, and physician women. 'cause we've been on this very straight and narrow path for so long.

Like, if you think about how. In a lot of ways, the culture of medicine strips your agency from you, you know, a hundred percent you apply for a match. You know, like how weird is that, that after all of these years of like incredibly selective, like hard, rigorous academic training and you know, education, you do this thing and someone's just like, here's an envelope.

This is where you're going to go, you know? Um, you're just kind of used to having this feeling where like you don't have a choice, you know? Yeah. Um, I think a lot of people would've just stayed in the job and thought like, there is no other option. You know, and even the type of practice that I wanted to build, I wasn't seeing a ton of in DPC, even in the DBC world.

Mm-hmm. And. It was really big, like mental breakthrough for me to be like, okay, well it seems like a good idea to me. So like, I'm just gonna choose it. Like I'm still gonna do it this way that I wanna do it. Um, and now that's like what I just want, like I want to infect other doctors with that mindset where it's like, no, you, you actually do have a choice in this.

Yeah.

I love that the use of that word infect because that's, that's what it has to be.

Yeah. It really has to like incept in your mind. You have to get it in there that that's, yeah. It's an option for you.

Yeah. And I just also wanna highlight the importance of a supportive partner, because you know, not a lot of people have that, and especially if the partner is risk averse and they're on, I mean, your husband's a doctor, if they are also on the street and narrow, this is somewhat extra for us as women, but in general, it's a culture of medicine that this is what you do.

Yeah. This is the path that you follow. Yeah. So it could have very easily been like. But no, don't do that. You know, stay on this path. So I'm also very happy that you had that support and just the importance of the community with your brother-in-law. Like all of these things that happened in your life and were available to you.

It is not just Doc who's listening. It's not just that she's lucky. It's not just that, oh, well, her family's great. I don't have that. It can be created intentionally, right? Mm-hmm. You can put yourself in a community of people that encourage you and push you and help you see things that you may not have thought were possible.

You can curate your friends, you can choose your husband, choose wisely. Like Dr. Sonia said, you have control. You have control over so much more of your life and your situation than you realize. And that we are conditioned to realize. Like I am really hoping that we all get this idea so that we can just be happy practicing medicine or doing whatever else we wanna do.

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I will say there were plenty of naysayers. Like my, of course, my parents initially were like, this is a bad idea. Like, why would you not take insurance?

They had all kinds of fears about it. Yeah. Um, and you know, I think the people who are closest to you and really love you the most, like , they're also scared of you failing and how that's gonna feel for you. You know? And I, I knew that that's where a lot of the fear was coming from, is just like, they did not wanna see me fail and have to deal with that.

Yeah. Um, but. You know, and even it's funny, like even some of my friends now will be like, oh, when you did that, I was just like, that's crazy. That's not gonna work out at all. I think in those early phases you just have to really curate like what voices you're allowing to come into your, your space.

And I was really choosing to focus on the supportive voices and like the people who did believe in it. And the thing I would always come back to was just like, you know, I don't know if this thing is gonna work out, but I know. I know really clearly what the path, the traditional path looks like or what my life looks like if I don't try this, and I think I would regret.

Even if it goes bad and I have to just go back like with my tail between my legs to another job, like I would regret, like just not even trying, you know? Definitely. And so I, that, that thought would make me brave. What a lot of people would say to me was like, like fellow primary care doctors were just like, I'm way too scared to do what you're doing.

'cause I don't know if it's gonna work out, but like, good for you for trying. Yeah, that is a very

common thing.

Yeah, I'm watching because that's the secret dream is just like we're all scared. And so I was just like, yeah, I'm scared too. Like it might not work and like you might see me, you know, epically fail, but I'm trying.

That reminds me, like, I tell my clients this all the time. You just. The absence of fear is not required. Like you just do it scared. Yes, you can. Scared, yes. That's, I love that phrase. I

haven't heard that phrase and I love it. I'm gonna use that. Thank you.

You are welcome. Yeah. So you are creating this vision.

You are taking this leap. Everybody. Not everybody, some people are telling you it's great. Some people are telling you, you are crazy. When in all of that, were you like, you know what, I'm gonna have a second baby. Oh,

well. So I. After I had the first baby and I was working, I was like, there's no way a second baby can happen.

Like where is, I don't even have time for this first baby. Like, I don't know where I could possibly have time for that.

Yeah.

Um, so I was really having a hard time and I'm an only child myself, so I was having a hard time just fathoming a life of two children. Yeah. With two working parents and all of that.

, When I decided to quit my job. It was when my baby was just barely one, and I kind of was like looking around and I was like, well, you know, I still haven't, my body still hasn't recovered. Like there's diapers and everything's baby proof. Like maybe we should just a second one, just get it over with, you know, like the practice is gonna take a while to sort of build up, like maybe this is the time.

And so I went to my husband and I was like, what do you think about like, just trying now? And, he was like. I'm not ready. And I was just like, what do you need to be ready for? Right? Anyway, so he felt like he was not ready, and I was like, okay. And then a year went by, and during that year that after I had quit my job and I was just launching the practice, the practice felt like my baby, like I was so invested in it.

I was so excited and energized by it. I also like I talk about, you know, my practice a lot in terms of like burnout and wellness because in a lot of ways my professional journey has been my own wellness journey. Like when I quit that job and had time, I started walking every day. Like I would walk with my son and my dog, like I was sleeping so much better.

For the first time in my life, I had time to like prepare my own meals and had control over what I was eating. Like, yeah. Just in a way that I really had not had since like probably medical school, you know, like before training and so. I suddenly got like, so much healthier and like, I just felt so much better, like as a human.

And you know, I just, I felt really good in my body for the first time in like, probably like a decade. Who knows? Um, and then I, I was sort of like, maybe we'll just have one baby. Like I could be just happy with one baby. Like, I don't really wanna, and, you know. The diapers were gone and the pack in the living room and like we were starting to have our house back, you know?

And so I was like, oh, maybe we'll just have one and he'll never be ready and it'll, that'll be it. And I was kind of like at peace with that. And he, then he was like, I'm ready. And I'm like, oh, okay. So anyway, I had to do like a little bit of pep talking of his Yeah, yeah, yeah. To it. Um, I wanted my son to have a sibling.

I didn't have that growing up. I didn't wanna delay trying, 'cause again, I was like at that 37 or something at the time, three eight. So I was like, okay, if we're gonna do this, like now's the time, and it happened very quickly and I remember like thinking I didn't even wanna do the math of the due date when I took the pregnancy test.

'cause I was like. in those early stages you're like, oh, you don't even know if it's viable. Right. You know, I don't about as much, so I, I remember like the first OB visit, she was like, oh, you know, your due date is December 28th, 2020. Three. And I was like 20, 23. Like in my mind it was like, this is a next year thing.

Right. . So I had the baby in December of 2023 and I was well into my practice. Had a pretty full practice at the time. Um, and I feel like everyone around me was like, oh my God, how are you gonna do it? Like, you have a solo practice. Like, it's not like you have all these people covering for you.

Yeah. Like, you're the one, like, how's this gonna work? And it, it was funny 'cause I just felt so much more at ease with the whole thing. 'cause I felt completely in control of how much I was working and when I was gonna come back. And I'm like, big shout out to, Dr. Rebecca Barons and Dr. Sarah Miller, their fellow DPC doctors here in Houston and they.

They just like, they just created a little warm net around me. And um, actually it was funny 'cause I messaged Rebecca and said, Hey, funny story, she's actually also my PCP. So I told her very early on, I was like, I'm pregnant, I'm gonna need your help. Yeah. And she was like, funny story. I'm pregnant too. And we ended up having our babies like within two weeks of each other.

Yeah. I covered for her up until the end, and she covered, like, she literally saw one of my patients the day she delivered

her week. Wow.

So, um, we managed to, and then Sarah, you know, covered for us like the remaining weeks that we were both out. And so we managed to cover each other and. Even though I did start seeing patients like maybe eight weeks postpartum, I was seeing like two a week, you know?

Yeah. Like I was really only doing necessary, you know, urgent visits, like no physicals or routine stuff. , All of that kind of got pushed, until I was ready to come back full-time. And. It was like, fine. It was totally, it was not a big deal. I feel like I still was able to take care of most of my patients' needs and, um, I, it did not feel overwhelming to go back and I got to have the dream thing, which was like.

Not having that complete shift from full-time mom all the time, 24 7 to like full-time doctor all the time, all day. It was like a nice mix of like, I worked my clinic schedule around my breastfeeding schedule. Yeah. I go home for lunch every day. I was still able to put the baby down for a lot of the naps.

Um, I do, I have a nanny who's here every day. Yeah. But like, I just was able to be present for like a lot more than I was the first time around. So.

Amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. I love that, that that was your experience. So you have a physical location, right?

I do, yeah. And it's like six minutes from my house, so it's a very quick drive.

I like go back and forth all day. So Nice. Um, uh, yeah, it's very convenient. I love that.

And yes, Dr. Rebecca is my fve. Um, she, it's so interesting when you said your son had congenital Dr. COIs. I was like, the only other person I've heard whose son had that was Rebecca. I was like, oh, that, this, that was the first time I heard about that.

Like, I missed that. Yeah.

You know, listening to Rebecca's DPC story when I was like thinking about DPC was like a big. Part, like I credit her so much with like, I stand on her shoulders. Like I credit her so much with getting me to this point because I remember listening to her story and thinking like.

She's in Houston, she's just like me. Like we're in the same phase of life, you know? And she's saying a lot of the things that I was feeling, you know, that made me want to go off on my own. And she's doing it, you know? And so, like I said, my husband was sort of like, is this, is this a thing that works? You know?

Yeah. And I kept being like, Rebecca Barons is doing it because like they both went to. Bailor, I

think, or Oh, okay.

He had some overlap, so he kind of knew of her and I was like, yes, Rebecca Barons is doing this thing. So like it is a thing and I am gonna do it

too. Amazing.

Yeah. It's good to be like, I'm not making this up.

Here she is. Yes, yes. There is a person doing it. Yes. And that's it. That's the whole point of this podcast when I do interviews is so that somebody else can hear your story and be like, oh my gosh, it's not just me.

Yes.

And feel seen and feel just. Not alone. So I just want to thank you so much for sharing your story and all of your wisdom.

And I want people to know, tell me a little bit more about your practice and how it is uniquely different from traditional DPC. Tell me all the things.

Oh yeah. When I originally was gonna do DPC, I didn't really have a big vision for it. I just thought like, okay, it's gonna be a practice and it's gonna be good quality personal medicine.

And as I started trying to make decisions about the practice, like. Who is the ideal patient and like what does the practice look like and what does the branding look like and what, what does differentiate it? You know, I was in this very unique phase of new motherhood where you're having this huge identity shift and this huge shift in your responsibilities, and I just had this profound feeling of like, it's crazy that you have this baby and literally your entire life changes.

And then like. You leave the hospital in like a diaper and six weeks later somebody's like, how are you doing? Are you sad? Are you okay? Like, how's breastfeeding going? And like, that's it, it just felt like, man, like in this phase of life, like you really do need a PCP. Like you do need a, an advocate and a partner and a cheerleader, and like somebody that's like really supporting your needs.

And I would see how those women in my clinic. We're often kind of shortchanged because if there's a 65-year-old who just got outta the hospital for a CHF exacerbation next door, like, I'm sorry, the 3-year-old with the UTI is not gonna get a lot of time. Right. You know, the 34-year-old who's, who's dealing with anxiety is not gonna get an hour.

Like she's just not, you know? Um, and so when I started to think about who I would, who I could best serve, and who I felt in that. Moment like I wanted to focus on, I just kept thinking of like professional women and moms and people who were really spread thin and did not have the time to go sit in a waiting room for 45 minutes to get a 10 minute appointment with their doctor.

Yeah. And who wanted more of a relationship and who wanted somebody who did not make them feel crazy for feeling. Overwhelmed and exhausted and stressed out. Um, and so then I started, you know, at one point I, during the brand design process, I was like, you know what? If I knew that that was the person I was serving, I could, all these decisions would be so much easier like that, you know, when I'm not worried about, well, how is the 50-year-old executive gonna perceive what I'm saying right now?

Once you kind of hone in on that, that, that demographic, it's just everything else feels like it's obvious what, what it should be like. And so I just made this decision to lean into that and say like, this is a practice for busy women, busy with home, busy with children, busy with professional life, busy with school, whatever it is.

Yeah. Like a woman who values her time and it feels that she's kind of spread thin. I want to take care of that person. And so. A lot of people were sort of like, you're limiting your demographic, you're limiting the potential patient population, like you're excluding people. And I don't exclude anyone.

I mean, the practice is 30% female. I have a couple transgender patients. Like it's a very welcoming practice.

Yeah.

But, I have chosen to say like. This is a space for you if you are that person, and I think that that spoke to a lot of people. And I think that having that niche kind of like, uh, differentiated me from a lot of other primary in Houston.

There's so many medical care options. Yeah. And so I feel like that was part of the success. And the other thing that you sort of unique, I mean, there's a lot of DPCs like this, but my practice is a micro practice, so I'm the only one, there's no staff. Um, I rely heavily on. AI and technology and efficiency, uh, to keep it that way.

And so it's very, very small. I mean, I have a total of like 170 ish patients and I never intend to go over 200. Mm-hmm. Um, and I hope to never have to have any staff. I mean, it's not bad for do, but I just prefer to work this way. So, um, yeah, that's, what my practice is like. Amazing. What

is the name?

It's called Juniper Modern Primary Care. Oh, I love that. Why did you choose that name?

I know a lot of DPCs use like an adjective as you know, like. Elevated primary care or, you know, integrity primary. You know, I don't know. I, I kind of wanted something that sounded like natural and that I just had good associations with.

I, I liked some other names that were already taken. Um, so this honestly was not like my favorite name, but it was good enough. Like I had to make a decision and move on and establish the LLC and everything. Um, but I put modern in there because I really feel like primary care in some ways has not. Caught up with like Yeah.

The of technology. Like, it, it's, it was crazy to me that like up until like 2020 when we were forced to go more online, that we weren't doing more virtual care and we weren't, like, my patient wasn't able to send me a picture, you know? Yeah. And so, I just wanted to emphasize like, look, we're gonna harness technology so that it frees us to like do the personal aspect better, you know?

And like, that's really what I do now. . The practice does rely heavily on tech, but that's what allows me to just sit face to face with someone and pay attention and be fully present with them because I'm not typing something or staring at a screen. Right. Or, you know, making them fill out 20 forms before they can come in, so, oh my gosh.

So yeah, I wanted to emphasize kind of that piece of it.

Gotcha. So where can people find you if they're looking for this type of practice?

Yeah, they can go to my website, which is, uh, juniper modern primary care.com. I also just have sonia Singh md.com, which kind of houses all my different projects.

Um, so that's probably the easiest place to find me. I'm on Instagram at Sonia Singh, S-O-N-I-A-S-A-N-G-H md. Um, although I am taking a break from social media for my mental health. Good for you. I've not been on there for like three months. Good for you. Yes. If you wanna look at my highlights and my reels and my other ramblings that were, that, that live there, you can, yeah.

Um, and then, if, , there's people out there who are interested in, in micro practice or in DPC, you know, I'm always happy to direct you in the direction of resources. So I have a free podcast, which is the Micropractice Mama podcast, and then, . People are welcome to reach out to me via email at sonya@micropracticemama.com.

Amazing. Amazing. And which part of Houston is the physical practice? Uh, I'm in the heights. In heights. Gotcha. Alright, so I wanted to touch on two other things that you said because there's so much gold Doc in what Dr.

Sonia is telling you. And when you talked about, The niching. Yeah. Like you decided to choose to serve busy moms. Mm-hmm. And when you made that decision, everything else became easy. Mm-hmm It reminded me of yes, niching. 'cause I'm an entrepreneur as well. It does make it easy, but on a broader sense, when you make decisions.

From alignment, like what is actually important to me right now in this season? Not before, not my mother, not anybody else. Things become very, very easy. Like alignment, values based decision making will make your life easy. And this is just one very small, very specific example of that. So I just wanted to highlight that because it is, it is so, so important.

And another thing. Which is definitely an entrepreneur thing, but I think women physicians in general could learn from when you were like, this name isn't what I chose, but it was good enough so I went with it. Listen to me, it is good enough. Good enough is better than perfect . So I just wanted to highlight those things because there, there was so much gold and I have really enjoyed this conversation and I just want to thank you again for coming on.

Oh, well thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate that you've created this space. I mean, as you can tell, like you were talking about alignment, like physician mothers and supporting them and making them feel less crazy for the experience that they're having is a big part of my mission, and I think that's a big part of what you do with your podcast.

So thank you.

Yes, with my podcast, with my coaching, with everything that I am doing right now, it is for us. It is for you. It is for you, doc, who's listening so that you can be free, just like Dr. Sonya and not start a micropractice or leave medicine like me to do exactly what you want to do, like what is aligned with your values that you have right now.

That is my mission, so. Definitely check out Dr. Sonia's podcast. Reach out to her. If you're thinking about a micropractice, if you just, uh, feeling crazy and you have no fucking clue what you wanna do, reach out to me. Schedule a free coaching session. This is, this is what we do. We are helping you take back control of your life and live the life that you want, even if it is a beach house in Florida, like her sister-in-law, whatever it is you want, right?

So I'll see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers. Bye.