Stethoscopes and Strollers
Welcome to Stethoscopes & Strollers! I'm Dr. Toya, mom of two, OBGYN, and coach for physician moms. Here, we go beyond the hospital halls, into the messy, magical early years of parenting—think diapers, sleepless nights, and figuring out how to deal with all those unexpected twists and turns.
Every episode, I dive into topics like mental health, the ins and outs of postpartum sex, sorting out childcare, and how having little ones changes your marriage. We’ll talk about getting back to work after baby, the real deal with mom guilt thanks to those tough doctor schedules, what pumping at work is really like, and how to keep all the balls in the air without dropping any. We’re here to get real about the hard choices, like deciding to stop breastfeeding, and so much more. This is a space for focusing on taking care of you, because managing scrubs and swaddles takes a village.
You'll figure out how to ask for and actually accept help, because let’s be honest, getting support is crucial for thriving as both a mom and a doctor.
Just a quick heads-up: while we're all about sharing and supporting, remember this isn’t medical advice. We’re here to connect, share experiences, and grow—together, without the medical jargon.
So, grab your coffee or tea, and get ready to dive into those parts of being a physician mom that don't get talked about enough. You're not riding this roller coaster alone, and you definitely deserve all the support you can get.
Tune in to Stethoscopes & Strollers for some real, honest insights and practical tips to make momming a bit easier. It’s time to get the conversation started!
---------------------
Stethoscopes and Strollers
94. The Holiday Episode: Ask for What You Actually Want
Hey Doc,
We’re heading into the holiday season, and I want to offer you a small but powerful reminder — the kind we don’t usually give ourselves this time of year. Between the gifts, the traditions, the kids, the family expectations, and the pressure to “create magic,” it’s so easy to slide into the background of your own life without even noticing.
But what if this year looked different?
What if you let yourself want what you actually want — without guilt, without hinting, without hoping people will guess?
In this short episode, I’m sharing a simple, direct nudge as we close out the year. Think of this as your holiday check-in: a moment to reconsider how much you give, how often you bend, and where you’ve quietly disappeared under everyone else's needs.
🎧 Tune in to the full episode — this is your reminder to put yourself back at the center of your own season.
What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!
Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.
Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube
Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook
Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field.
If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want.
Hey, doc, the holidays are upon us, and I'm going to repeat my Mother's Day message to you. This will be a very short episode because the message is short. You deserve to have whatever it is that you want for the holidays, and if it is that you want to be alone without the children, without the husband.
You deserve that and you should tell them that, and you should act on it. Even if there's a little bit of pushback, you deserve it. Doc and it is okay. It is okay if you spend all of your year giving and bending and accommodating and caring now is your turn. And if you. Listened to the last episode your husband is like ai. You can be explicit and say, this is what's happening because you deserve it doc. So don't wait for somebody to guess. This is what you need. If you need your time alone or even if you're like, no, I like Christmas. I like family.
I don't wanna be alone, but I want this very particular gift and I'm gonna drop subtle hints so that he gets why. Just tell him, be explicit. Tell him what you want. Tell your kids what to get you. It is nice to be surprised. Sure. But it's a lot to expect. It's a lot to expect from people to know what you want and know what you need, and to basically read your mind, which is what you're asking them to do.
Seriously, go back and listen to that AI episode. It doesn't only apply to husbands. Just tell them, and I understand. When I was younger, even now, it's like one of my greatest dreams to be truly surprised to like have a surprise party where I'm really genuinely surprised. But I don't think it'll ever happen because I'm very nosy and also I'm very smart.
I always, notice things, I pick up on things. it's hard to, at least in the experiences that I've had. People have tried to surprise me in the past and I have had an inkling 100% of the time, so I know how special it is to have people work on your behalf, like think of something great, put the planning in, put the effort, especially when you do it so much for other people.
I know it feels good.
But you know what would feel better is if you expressed yourself, expressed your needs and that you got what you actually wanted and it is a gift not only to you, but to the people around you to give you what you want. your husband wants to give you something that's going to make you happy.
Right. Your kids want to give you a gift that you would appreciate because they, they, they see it, they see how much you do for them. So just tell them, tell them what you want. Don't wait to be surprised. Just ask. Ask for it. Yeah. Okay. So you wanna know what I want? For Christmas, I want you to rate this podcast.
Give it five stars an Apple podcast, five star reading everywhere else. Share it on social media. Let people know, oh my gosh, this podcast is amazing. Share it with another physician mom who needs to just ask for what she wants for Christmas, and this doesn't only apply to Christmas, by the way, let me just do a little bit of segue Thanksgiving.
Time is coming up. If you don't wanna host, don't do it. If you don't wanna cook, don't do it. And this is obviously for people who feel these things. If you are looking forward to this time because you know it's family time and you are actually off work, that's fine. This is all about you getting what you want.
That is the whole point, right? So if you don't want to. Do any of those things, then don't. People will be mad, but wouldn't you rather they be mad than you? Somebody's gonna be mad, so why not let it be them? you've done enough. So no matter what is going on these last couple weeks of the year.
Put you first. That is the actual point of this episode that came at the end. This is a season to put you first, and it's not blasphemous. If you're religious and you're like, oh, that's not what the season is about. In the general context of the holidays and of your life, put you first.
what it is about because when you do that, everybody benefits. Everybody gets a fresh, happy, healthy, non screaming, non crabby, fulfilled mom, doctor, wife, church, go-er, community member. It's for their benefit just as much as it is yours. Okay? So put yourself first. That's my gift from you, from you to me, is that this holiday season, you will put yourself first.
Okay, doc, that's really it. I'll see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strolls.
