Stethoscopes and Strollers
Welcome to Stethoscopes & Strollers! I'm Dr. Toya, mom of two, OBGYN, and coach for physician moms. Here, we go beyond the hospital halls, into the messy, magical early years of parenting—think diapers, sleepless nights, and figuring out how to deal with all those unexpected twists and turns.
Every episode, I dive into topics like mental health, the ins and outs of postpartum sex, sorting out childcare, and how having little ones changes your marriage. We’ll talk about getting back to work after baby, the real deal with mom guilt thanks to those tough doctor schedules, what pumping at work is really like, and how to keep all the balls in the air without dropping any. We’re here to get real about the hard choices, like deciding to stop breastfeeding, and so much more. This is a space for focusing on taking care of you, because managing scrubs and swaddles takes a village.
You'll figure out how to ask for and actually accept help, because let’s be honest, getting support is crucial for thriving as both a mom and a doctor.
Just a quick heads-up: while we're all about sharing and supporting, remember this isn’t medical advice. We’re here to connect, share experiences, and grow—together, without the medical jargon.
So, grab your coffee or tea, and get ready to dive into those parts of being a physician mom that don't get talked about enough. You're not riding this roller coaster alone, and you definitely deserve all the support you can get.
Tune in to Stethoscopes & Strollers for some real, honest insights and practical tips to make momming a bit easier. It’s time to get the conversation started!
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Stethoscopes and Strollers
98. Unsubscribing from Holiday Chaos (Effective Immediately)
Hey Doc —
When did the holidays turn into one big chaotic to-do list?
Between last-minute gift runs, boundary-testing relatives, and the annual matching pajama scramble… it’s a lot.
This episode is your permission slip to opt out.
The stress isn’t tradition. The chaos isn’t required. And next year doesn’t have to feel like this one, because holiday magic doesn’t have to mean exhaustion.
🎧 Tune in for a Christmas Eve reflection — and a gentle challenge to make one small decision that brings more peace to every holiday season to come.
What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know!
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Hey Doc, it is Christmas Eve of 2025 and I want to wish you a Merry Christmas if you celebrate and happy holidays, and I hope that this season hasn't been too crazy for you and you get some rest and relaxation. I hope that you are not on call, and if you are on call, I hope that it's quiet.
Knock on word. Sorry. I hope that you get some rest and it's not too bad. And you know, I was thinking about this season and how people say, you know, the holidays are always so stressful, and I was just wondering, when did it become the norm that holiday season equaled stress? Is that a uniquely American thing?
Is that a modern society thing? Is it a capitalist thing? I just, I don't know. 'cause I was talking to a client and she kept saying, well, you know, it's the holidays. So things are chaotic. And chaotic is not the feeling that I want to have around the holidays. I want to relax and I want to enjoy my family time.
And I dunno, maybe I'm being idealistic, unrealistic, . But I don't think so. I think I am demanding more of myself and my situation because I remember what Christmas felt like when I was growing up. And even then it was a little, now that I'm looking back at it, it actually was quite stressful up until the day.
And so maybe it is a function of motherhood society because. I used to watch a lot of TV growing up, and it was American tv, and the idea of spring cleaning was always so odd to me because in Trinidad we clean up for Christmas, like it is a big deal. Like you get new curtains and you paint all of the walls in the house.
If you have plants, which my mother has an entire forest outside of our house, you paint all your plant pots, you clean up, and you do all this stuff to get yourself ready and your home nice for Christmas. It is for a lot of reasons. You know, people visit other people's homes a lot for Christmas and it's like a normal thing traditionally to go to somebody's house and get food and drinks and thing.
Around Christmas time there's music called Parang Music, which is. Uniquely Christmas music that is traditionally sang in Spanish, but then we have our own English Trinidadian version of it. So people would go around to people's houses paranging, which is kind of like caroling, but so much more fun.
So the preparation for that can be stressful, especially if you are working. I remember we would be cleaning and baking and doing all these things up until late into the night on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and then it actually became the tradition. That we slept in because everybody was tired.
Not because it was a day to rest, but because everybody was exhausted from the preparation. Then we would get up, have a late breakfast, open presents, and then go back to sleep, and then go to lunch. At my grandmother's house, my father's mother, and lunch would be at lunchtime usually, but we would show up at like three o'clock, and everybody knew to expect us very late because that's, that became the tradition.
But even then, it was stress. Up until the day, and I feel like I don't wanna do that anymore. Like I don't want to be scrambling for presents. And for me it's scrambling to get matching pajamas. Like why do we need matching pajamas? Even though I think it's cute. Is there a reason that I forget every year and wait until last minute and then have to pay a million dollars in shipping to get it before Christmas?
You know, I have my own version of the chaos of the holidays, but I feel like I want to make an intentional decision. That this is the last year, that next year the holidays are not going to equal chaos. And you know, that's one reason it could be chaotic. a lot of people have chaos around the holidays because of family and.
Different dynamics within their family. A lot of that surrounding boundaries and dealing with people that you may not necessarily have had to deal with throughout the year.
But I still feel like we can make a conscious decision to not just. Accept that holiday time equals chaos. It equals stress. And we can choose differently. And it takes a lot of intentionality and lots of little decisions to make this a reality, but I think we can do it. I think you and I can do it, doc.
So are you with me on this Christmas Eve if you're listening after Christmas or on Christmas Day? Will you make that commitment that if you indeed ascribe to some level of chaos during the holidays, is this 2025 going to be the last year? I think it should be, and even if it's a little bit less, that is still a win.
You know, we celebrate all wins big and small. There's actually no such thing as a small win. It's just a win. And you brag about that shit. So even if next year you're like, you know what, I'm not doing this. And I, I actually, now that I think about it, I already made a decision. That will make next year less chaotic.
When I was scrambling to buy my Christmas pajamas, I bought like five different sizes for everybody. 'cause I was like, I'm not doing this again. Whatever we have is what's gonna fit for the next couple years. Because of course my kids are small and they're still growing, so I have to buy new sizes every single year.
My husband and I, we could wear. We have like a bunch of old Christmas pajamas, but because we are trying to match the children, we end up getting new sizes and thankfully our sizes don't change that much every single year. So just that little decision that I actually made weeks ago before I even thought about recording this episode, which is kind of crazy.
Was an intentional decision to decrease my level of stress because it's a minor thing. It may seem frivolous, but every single year, I do it every single year. I'm like, oh wait, I need matching Christmas pajamas with a brown Santa. So now I have to go and figure out who has brown Santas, can I get the sizes?
Are they gonna ship in time? And I always wait until last minute. That's wasted time. Wasted time, wasted stress. And I don't wanna do it anymore. So what little decision can you make even from now? Look at what was causing you stress and chaos this holiday season. What can you say I'm not doing? What can you say no to?
What boundary can you set? What decision do you wanna make? Because this time can be magical for you two. You know, I had a client who said, you know. Who's the one who makes the magic for everyone? Me, and it got me thinking, but who's making the magic for you? Who is making the magic for us? And we can wait on other people to to do it, or we can start leading by example and
doing it ourselves, and showing everybody, yeah, I am unsubscribing from. Holiday chaos as the norm. That's what it is. 2026. Here we come. Okay, so happy holidays. Merry Christmas and I truly hope you. Make even the smallest decision to get rid of holiday chaos for next year and
every holiday season to come. Alright, doc, I'll see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.
