108. Fear Isn’t a Sign to Stop: What “Doing It Scared” Actually Looks Like

Hey Doc,

I’m in the middle of launching a brand-new HVAC business with my husband. And let me tell you: starting a business from scratch, self-funded, no clients, no safety net? It will humble you real quick.

I’ve been nauseous before networking meetings.

Sweaty before introducing myself.

Mortified after asking a very basic question at a major conference.

And I still did it.

Because here’s the truth I keep teaching my clients, and living in real time:

The absence of fear is not required.

You do not need to feel ready.

You do not need to feel confident.

You do not need to feel calm.

You just need to move.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

• What “doing it scared” actually looks like in real life (hint: it’s not glamorous)
• Why embarrassment isn’t fatal (even when it feels like it)
• The myth that confident women aren’t afraid
• How I’m teaching my children that bravery includes tears
• Why waiting to feel ready is keeping you stuck

If you’ve been avoiding something — a leadership role, a career pivot, a hard conversation, a negotiation — I want you to hear this:

Being scared does not disqualify you.

Fear is not a stop sign.

It’s usually a sign you’re stepping into something bigger.

Listen in, and then go do the thing. 🎧 Press play on this episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.

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Transcript

  Hey, doc, I am back with an audio only episode because I'm tired and doing video takes me, making sure my skin is okay and makeup and all this stuff, and I actually just realized. You know, going back to the episode where I talked about respecting my bandwidth, that I really need to just stop posting the podcast on social media.

Even those little clips that go into my stories and the reel once a week when it's released does take quite a lot of work between me and my my va. So. Just FYI. Y'all will not see those clips online, and honestly, I feel like you are my people. Doc, you probably don't even listen because of those social media clips.

You listen because you listen every week, and I love you for that. So thank you. And most of the times when my downloads spike, it's because I personally told somebody, Hey, I have a podcast. This is what it's about. Go listen. Or, you know, I share it in a group or whatever. I don't actually think there's a good return on that investment of my time and money to put those clips on there.

So for all of those reasons, I think I'm gonna stop. And the reason I sound so wishy washy is because I making this decision this morning and you're hearing me process this decision out loud right now because Yeah, I really. I don't think that it is a good use of my limited bandwidth at this moment.

If I want to continue doing the podcast, which I definitely do, like I don't wanna stop doing it. So what I have to do is decrease the barriers to. Recording and putting it out there. So I will let my VA know. Well, she's gonna, she's gonna see the episode and know, so, but I will message her and let her know as well that, very rarely will there be a video episode, at least in this stage because there's so much going on launching a business.

Let me tell you, I've done it before twice in fact, and this is definitely different. Launching this HVAC business, the general heating and air is a beast that I am very well prepared for, but still shocked about how much work it is. And that's actually what I want to talk about in this episode.

My process through the launch so far in , one particular aspect, which is something that I tell my clients all the time, and it is do it scared The absence of fear is not required to do the thing. So I have these different ways of stating it, but it's pretty much the same sentiment.

and you've probably heard me say this on the podcast before, but I feel like what I'm going through right now is a very good example of how I don't just spew this stuff out because I am a coach and. You know, I'm a cheerleader and I just like to say motivational things. This is how I live my life.

I see the results. I have been living this way for the last five years and I say it from experience, and this is a reminder to you if you heard me say it before, but also. An open letter to all of the people who seem to think that when they see me doing things, it's that I'm not scared. That is in fact not true.

I just do it anyway. So if you didn't know, my husband and I have started an HVAC business and. I don't actually know that much about hvac. That's his thing. He has a technical knowledge. He has the industry specific business knowledge, whereas my knowledge is very particularly about starting a business from scratch, which is a whole other thing in and of itself because many of the.

Business advice you get out there, especially in the home services space, which is where HVAC falls, it's from people who didn't start from the ground up. It's very difficult to start a business like this. From zero self invested, no clients, no nothing. So that is where my expertise is, and it is translatable from a coaching business and from a black owned  it's business is business, right?

It's kind of crazy how transferable it is, but a big part of it is marketing and networking and. There is this thought sometimes when people see me out and about and you see my social media, that it comes naturally to me and that I must not be worried. I'm not scared. A appear confident and, and very little of that is actually true.

I went to e. Networking meeting yesterday and was surprised at the fact that you had to stand up and, introduce yourself and talk about your business. I don't know why I was shocked about that because literally they all are like that. you know what, no, I'm lying. The last one I went to was so big and there was like an awards thing where it wasn't the forum for that.

So I think I was just a little bit thrown off once I realized. For every minute leading up to when I had to speak, I was nauseous and was like going over what exactly I was gonna say, making sure I didn't finish any points. I started sweating a little bit anxious, like it was not an enjoyable experience leading up to it, but I did it anyway and it was great.

Like I made a mistake, everybody laughed. I was definitely. Scared I, that is how I get every single time I have to speak in front of people every single time. And I said something like that to my sister and she was like, but you have this podcast and you do social media. I'm talking to no one.

Yes, I'm talking to you, doc, but this is not live. I edit this, like actually my, my editing software has a note at the top of it right now when I log in that says. You have been verified as a master editor and you can put that on your LinkedIn. That's how much editing I have done over this journey and with this podcast, so this is not the same as live speaking, as standing up and projecting your voice and sounding intelligent and remembering to slow down and accounting for your lisp, and all of the things that I have to do when I have to get up and speak in front of people.

it's scary. It is not something that comes naturally to me. I am actually an introvert, believe it or not. This is years of preparation of doing it, scared of reps. That's what you're seeing. That's what people see, and it's easy to, to forget and take it for granted That. Just because somebody is doing something doesn't mean they're not worried.

It doesn't mean they are not embarrassed. It doesn't mean any of that, but you do it anyway. And I've definitely had instances because I don't really know hvac, I'm currently learning. Just shameless plug. If you want to learn about hvac, why would you wanna do that? Right? But it's really about knowing about your home so that you don't get scammed by people.

I have a YouTube channel. It was going to be my husband, but now it's gonna be me, which is a whole other thing in and of itself. And if you're not on my email list, you should get on my email list because I'm going to send my next newsletter about that in particular. But I will be educating you all as I educate myself about HVAC and in a way that is relatable and relevant and easy to understand because.

It's empowering to, to know things and to know what to expect and to not have to rely on anybody else. So the. YouTube channel is coming. It's there already, actually, but the actual educational videos are coming by yours, truly.

So go ahead and subscribe the general HVAC, or you could just type in the general heathing and air anyway. There was a time I was at a conference. You may have seen it on social media, a HR. It's like the biggest HVAC conference that happens in the world, and we, my husband and I went in Las Vegas and after one of the lectures. I went up to talk to one of these speakers, something else that I would've never have done before my entrepreneurial journey.

I would slink off in the back wishing I had the guts to talk to them and never doing it. But you know, this is the new me. I went to talk to the presenters and put my foot in my mouth. It was very clear that I did not know what I was talking about. I think I asked them how we could get their products to install in people's homes.

And she was like, well, you know, you usually have to go through a distributor. We are just a manufacturer. And I was like, oh, yeah. And that made that sound like a huge deal. But it was like such a basic thing that I should have known as an owner of an HVAC company, but I didn't. And A situation like that many years ago would've made me say, I'm never talking to anybody again.

I'm not cut out for this. This was mortifying. But I just kept pushing and kept talking to them because whatever people make mistakes, they're probably gonna forget me if they laugh at me, whatever. It is unimportant and the way that that situation lives in me isn't like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I said that.

It's like, huh, yeah, that was pretty dumb. I should probably do better and I'm, I am rectifying that situation. But that was not the only time. That has happened, and I just keep going because growing this business requires me to do it scared. It requires

that I don't wait for the absence of fear, that I don't let embarrassment stop me, that I don't decide that I'm too mortified to do X, Y, Z. I don't have time for that. This is my family business. This is our lives, you know? So I do what I have to do and my children, uh, in this phase right now where , everybody is a superhero or bad guy.

And I heard my son telling my daughter recently. Well, don't cry Ayo superheroes don't cry and superheroes aren't scared. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. little did he know, he was about to get a lecture about being scared. I was like, well, no baby. crying is normal. You can cry. You can be scared.

Being a superhero and being brave isn't about not being scared and not crying. It's about being scared and doing it anyway and doing it through your . Not only am I living my life this way, I am teaching my children this as well, doc. So when I tell you to just do it, do that shit. Apply for the leadership position that you think that you're not qualified for.

Make the cross country move to be closer to your family even though you're not sure about job prospects. Go and tell them that you're putting in your notice because you are leaving medicine to start a kite making factory, whatever it is. It is because I truly believe this. I believe that this is the way to make strides in your life, to get out of, the rut that you may be in, to build your confidence in yourself and your decisions, to create the moments that you can celebrate because you did something that was out of your comfort zone.

Do it scared. Whatever is worrying you right now, and some of the work is identifying that you are scared because there may be things that you're avoiding doing that you don't wanna do, that you have rationalized. So, that's the first step. But once you realize, do it anyway, get community, get support, get somebody to hold you accountable and just do it.

Be a superhero doc. Superheroes are scared sometimes, but they do it anyway. So that is all I have for you this I hope that this was helpful and I always want to hear from you. So email me at hello@drdoyacoaching.com. Go on my website and send a message. Let me know if this was helpful. If you sent it to somebody else, if you left a five star review, that would make me so happy and let me know if you made a change.

Most importantly, because of this, that you stood up and said something at your department meeting, even though you were scared. Because of this, that would make me so, so happy. Every faux pas that I have while I'm on this journey will be worth it if you heard this episode and you are inspired to do something scared.

All right, doc, I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and