131. Use Your Physician Privilege

Hey Doc

You worked incredibly hard to become a physician. Four years of undergrad. Four years of medical school. Years of residency and fellowship. Endless sacrifices.

So why are you acting like you're not allowed to benefit from it?

In this episode, I'm giving you full permission to use one of the few privileges you truly earned: your physician network.

I've used it to get second opinions when my family needed them. I've gotten my nephew seen by a pediatric subspecialist on short notice. I've leaned on physician communities when my mom had a serious burn. Every single time, someone stepped up because I asked.

And that's the part many of us forget.

People actually want to help.

Somewhere along the way, many physician moms start believing they're bothering people if they reach out, ask a question, or call in a favor. We spend our careers taking care of everyone else but hesitate to let anyone take care of us.

I'm here to remind you that this isn't taking advantage of anyone.

This is one of the few privileges you worked your entire adult life to earn.

Use it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why physician moms often hesitate to ask for help
• Real examples of how I've used my physician network for my family
• The surprising truth: helping others feels good
• Why asking for help is a gift to the person who's able to give it
• How to stop feeling guilty about using the connections you've earned

You don't have to wait months for an appointment if someone is willing to help. You don't have to feel guilty texting a specialist friend. You don't have to do this alone.

Use your privilege, Doc.

You've earned it.

🎧 Listen now, and if this episode reminds you of another physician who needs permission to ask for help, send it to her. She deserves to use the network she worked so hard to build, too.

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Transcript

  Hey, Doc. This is your friendly reminder to use your very hard-earned physician privilege for your benefit. You deserve it. You worked very hard through four years of undergrad, four years of medical school, and anywhere from three to ten, sometimes, years of training, and then the sacrifice, the hard work, and everything that comes with being an attending.

So yes, when you need something, pull some strings. Call that friend that you knew. Call that person that you saw in medical school one time and never actually spoke to, but they are the exact subspecialty that you need for your personal problem. Reach out to them.

Get their phone number. Message them on Facebook. Ask in our Facebook groups. Our Facebook groups are good for a lot of things. They are not good for a lot of things as well. But in every single physician community, except Physician Community, that place is a cesspool.

If you're in there, I don't know why. But all the other ones, all the ones People will go out of their way to help you with your medical problems, to pull strings, to get you appointments, to get your family seen. And I know this personally because I have used it many times without shame, without fail.

Somebody comes through,

Let me tell you some of the ways that I have used this. I have gotten second opinions on MRIs for rule out pancreatic cancer, full on ten-minute voice notes breaking down all of the findings on the MRI reading because I just asked a subspecialist that I knew. I have gotten my nephew, who didn't even live in the country at that time, an appointment with a pediatric subspecialist in DC with a week advance notice when he was coming to the country and  had this weird medical thing happen to him right before he was gonna travel.

I posted in one of our Facebook groups and just like that, in my DMs, "Hey, I can get your nephew in. He doesn't have insurance? Fine, they can- we can organize to do self-pay." And at the same time, another personal friend was able to get him another appointment for a second opinion, all because I asked and I used the privilege that I worked very, very hard for.

Those are just two examples. My mother burned her leg, posted, got a bunch of recommendations. We found out it was a third-degree burn, realized she needed to see a plastic surgeon, switched care because the general surgeon was doing all sorts of nonsense. All this was in Trinidad. I was getting recommendations from my circle here in the US 'cause I posted a picture and asked for You can be getting this help too, but only if you ask

Of course, you'll get the stray people making it about themselves or shaming you for not knowing. That is very rare, and it's not something you should be worried about. And if you are, you can post anonymously. The overwhelming majority is that there are people out there waiting to help you, hoping that they can help you. They don't even know that they want to help you yet because helping other people feels good. Sometimes we forget that in the trenches of practicing medicine. When you can truly be helpful to someone, it feels good. It feels good and not because you have something over them or because now they owe you, because it genuinely feels good.

So help these other women feel good. It is your responsibility to help them feel good by having them help you with your problem. Having them get you that appointment that was going to be scheduled in September and now they can get you in next week. They can feel good about that, and you can get your problem solved.

You can get your child in sooner. You can get your grandmother's prescription faster. You can use the privilege that we have earned for yourself. It is your right. There are a lot of privileges that we have that we did not earn. That's just the way it is. This is one that you worked hard for, so use it.

Okay, doc? All right. Send this to another physician who needs to remember that she has privilege that she worked hard for and that she should use it, Send it to her so she doesn't have to wait three months to be seen for something. She can feel okay asking a personal question to a friend who's a specialist and not feel like she's bothering them. So share it widely.

Spread this message. Physician nepotism is one of the best forms. Use it. Okay, doc? And I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers