Fill Your Cups

20: [How-To] Overcoming the Challenge of Making Friends As An Adult

• Morgan Welch & Bailey Adrales • Episode 20

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We all know making friends becomes a lot less organic as we grow up, so we wanted to share some tips on ways we meet new people and specifically find friends who align with our current goals & pursuits! This is a part 2 to our last episode about the possibility that your current friends may be holding you back a little… be sure to tune in and let us know what you think!

CHEERS!

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Welcome to

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the fill your

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podcast. We're your hosts Morgan and Bailey. Thank you guys for tuning in to this episode It's kind of like a part two from our last episode So if you haven't checked that one out, go back real quick. Check that one out. That one's all about Are your friends holding you back? Are you surrounded by the people that are pushing you to be your best self and like on the same path as you and so? We thought well if you're listening to that episode and you find out that your friends are not

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You

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know in the same path as you and you're like, well, what do I do now? How do I make these new friends? That's what this episode's about. So we're just going to be kind of yeah It's talking just about how we can meet new people and even if the people in your life right now are great And you're loving them, but you're just wanting a little bit more And you're wanting more of a sense of community. That's what this episode's about as well It can be really hard to make adult friends

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Oh my gosh, it's so challenging.

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It's so challenging and You are like an expert at it because you're so you're just so good at

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to people. I like to make friends. You do

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like to make friends. And so I feel like this is Like right up your wheelhouse and I have made so many of my friends through you

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so, yeah.

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Yeah, so

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there's your first step. Have a

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a sister who is really good with people that is first step.

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Yeah, I feel like this is like part two. Or step two, if, like, if last week was like, okay, ree, or evaluate, are your friends working for you, is, are your surroundings working for you, then this is like, step two of, okay, if the answer is maybe not all the time, then, then, Here's what to do about it. And here's, here's how you can make friends. So I, honestly, I have talked with so many people who resonate with the idea that making friends as an adult is just hard. Yeah. And so I think that after a few, a few years of being an adult now, I feel like I've figured out where there are kind of more

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Like openings.

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exactly. Yeah. And so it is such an awkward thing like after school because you don't have those built in things like athletics and clubs and extracurriculars

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extracurriculars

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where you're, you kind of just have people that already have similar, similar interests as you. Yeah, you're like forced to

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to make friends as

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Yeah, exactly. So I'm excited to dive into the episode, dive into this topic. I think it'll be really fun.

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Yeah, me too. Before we do get into the juice of the episode, what is filling your cup?

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Today, I have of course my water and then I did look up, I looked this up for my Stupid like my clear aligner things that I'm very thankful for they're not stupid But I that you can use like a straw with a lot of with clear liquids Like not with like iced coffee and stuff like that that could stain Or like drinking wine through a straw or anything like that that could stain your things But yeah, so i'm drinking a vanilla cola zebia With through a straw today. I love that. What about

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feel like, sorry, I was just gonna say, I feel like. There you had to have you have had trouble getting a hold of xevious lately.

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I went to the prize shopper by you.

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Nice, I was gonna say where'd you get them? Yeah, they're stocked with the one by us

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and I had a Saturday where we had nothing to do. Oh, hell Yeah, it was the best. I worked on my yoga course that I told you I was taking I Started our book club book We we went to Hobby Lobby and like got a couple fall decor items Jared's been like wanting to do that, which is so

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I love that about Jared. It is so unexpected, but.

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he just ever, he's like, he woke up in the morning. He's like, you know what we should do? We should go to Hobby Lobby today and see if we're inspired at all by the fall decorums.

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And like, what, you're gonna say no to that? Like,

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Yeah, yeah, it was a blast. I had a gift card I forgot about.

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Oh, hell yeah. You love having

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I know! You always forget about those. Yeah, and then while we were over there, we were like, I was like, Can we go to Price Shopper and get Zebea's? Oh, fine! That's where I got what you're drinking, actually. So, what's filling your cup?

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I have some apple cider. Thankful to Morgan's Fridge that I got this out of. Um, it's my first apple cider of the season.

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So

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So I'm loving it. It truly just feels good. Like there's football in the living room. And the windows open. I can see an orange tree. And I just have my little apple cider. I am having

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salad. Talking today I guess. I love apple cider. I think that's so fun. I'm glad that you took advantage of that. I want to get into our shout out because I just had brunch with Jared's mom for her birthday, Kathleen. And she was telling me at, she was literally saying at brunch and this was unprompted. She sat down and we were asking her who's coming over for the football game. And she was like, well, Morgan, you know, This is a long winded, she, she admitted this is a long story to answer your question, but she was like, do you remember we went on this vacation to Minnesota to visit Jared's aunt and uncle and we took a, we took the car, we drove there with Kathleen and she, we talked about a lot of things and one of the things she was like, do you remember telling me that your five closest friends really say a lot about you and really like kind of point the finger in your direction of like what? What your life looks like and that sort of thing. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I don't, I mean, I didn't particularly remember saying it at that time because I didn't come up with that idea. Like, I'm sure I got it from someone else, but I was like, Bailey and I just recorded an episode on that. It's. It's not out yet at the time that I'm having brunch with her Yeah, but I was like, I will send it to you when we're done and she was like, oh I would love that, you know, so shout out to Kathleen. She was one of our first Apple podcast reviews

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she was. She's been an avid supporter. Yeah,

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She's been an avid supporter. She admitted that she's not caught up But she I was like, no worries. Just listen to the ones that you like. We're freaking

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freaking 20 episodes in that's a lot to listen to and Speaking of being 20 episodes in if you have been listening and you are enjoying please leave us a review It does so much for us. It just tells us kind of what you guys are liking and We would love to see something from you guys because we're on episode 20

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Oh! 20 weeks

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a Fill Your Cups

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So fun!

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Wild. I love it. But no, I loved whenever you were telling me that story about Kathleen. I was like, that is so fun because she had no idea that we just recorded that episode. She had no idea that today we're recording a part two of that episode. And I was like, that is just perfect. And it really does stick with you. Once you realize that the five closest people to you say a lot about you and make up your life.

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It

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really does change things and like gives you such a perspective. Yeah,

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And to be honest, some of the things that I'll share will come from having watched her, like since, since that road trip, which was two years ago, I think,

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Mm hmm.

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she has made a lot of new friends and she has ingrained herself in a lot of different, Groups that she wasn't in before and a really big part of it was because she was like I just feel like I love My friends, but I feel like they're not really getting me any step further in life Like not getting her anywhere closer to where she wants to be and so she still spends time with those people Of course But she has really changed a lot of her activities and a lot of her people that she surrounds herself with on a daily basis

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I love that.

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Yeah, and people she talks to regularly So

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so fun. that's so cool.

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just like what, I feel like we talk about this all the time. How we're always like, someday, someday, someday. And it's like, today. Today. You know? Yes,

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I love that. Well, let's go ahead and get right into it. and talk about how we can make these friends as adults. Yeah. It can be so hard.

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Yeah, so before we dive in, we always like to talk about how we came to our topic for today. So, today is really, we said it was a continuation of last week's, but when we were thinking about episodes, we, it's funny, we were both like, I was like, I was kind of thinking about an episode about friends and kind of how they hold you back and Bailey's like, Wait, that's funny because I was I was thinking about doing uh, doing an episode about friends and how to make them And it and I feel like we were just like, okay Well, we're both thinking about friendships and how important they are in your life and so what we can do one that's kind of like half of the series that or half of the part that is like Okay What? Are your friends exactly where you want them to be? Do you have the friends that you want? Do you have the friends with interests that you like? That sort of thing. And then that'll be one episode, because it would kind of be a lot to get into how to make friends in the same episode. And then we can talk about the fun of like, how you make friends as an adult, because

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you find

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yeah, because it can be so hard. So that was kind of where we, how we thought of

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it. That was funny, we were just texting each other and we were like, wait, how We have like the same idea but different. Yeah, so that was funny Um, well, I know that whenever I want to talk about how to make friends it was because I hear people all the time saying like I don't know how to make friends or like How do you guys have good friendships with other adults in your life and things like that and it can just be so hard not to have a group that you feel comfortable with or If you are new in a town not knowing how to make these friends So we really just wanted to talk about that and just kind of share Almost like a first hand experiences of how we have done it. Yes. And I do feel like we have a really good friend group. Like I know I have a lot of friends who I only just met as an adult. You have a ton of friends who you've only met just now as an adult. So we, yeah, so we're just gonna kind of share what's worked for us and what we've noticed and, oh, go ahead.

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No, I was just going to say, I also think that when I was thinking about this episode and this list, I do have friends too that, I feel like it's more common now that you make some of your closest friends when you go away to school. Now I know that's not necessarily the case for you, but for me, like, I made the majority of my closest friends whenever I went to Mizzou, and naturally, If you make the majority of your closest friends when you go to college, you all go separate ways because your hometowns are different. And so I feel like I had friends that went to, went back to Chicago and went back. I mean, others that went further away. Like my best friend moved to California at one point. I had another friend that went to medical school in literally like the Bahamas and then England and you know what I mean? So, so I just feel like. It can be really challenging when you like get settled wherever it is that you're settled and you're like, oh well I don't really have anybody here. Yeah.

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Yeah, absolutely for sure. I think that honestly If we're like, let's start our list Our first one that's on our list is our book club

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Yeah I know

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we talk about it all the time but it's because we do it has just been something that is that's how we've made so many friends and that's how i've made so many friends through this book club and it's so funny because You I will hear a lot of people be like, but how do you start a book club

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start a book club? Yes.

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How do you start a book club?

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club? Um, so the way that I did was that I literally just texted everybody that I knew that I felt like, and I, the reason that I knew to do this and that it could be successful is because I did this in college first with volleyball, which is also on here actually. But in college with volleyball, I was just like,

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I

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don't know, if there's something that you want to do, like say, have an coordinated Activity each week like read more books or play more volleyball or whatever it is Then obviously you have or a lot of the time you have to have somebody else to do that with and so with volleyball I just learned that if I texted like Genuinely like 40 to 50 people Then at least 10 to 12 would show up and because not everybody was gonna be available at when on Wednesdays at 4 o'clock or whatever time it was but I knew that at least some of those people would be, and I was willing to be the person to have like a good attitude about it no matter how many people or who it was that showed up or what their skill level was and all that. So I imitated that for book club whenever I was like sitting here twiddling my thumbs. For like months I was, I had gotten really back into book club and I was like, man, I just really want people to talk with about books. Yeah. And.

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you got back into reading.

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Yeah, what'd I say? Oh, yeah, I had got, I had gotten back into reading for several months and I was like I really want to just gab about books with people and so I did the exact same thing where I just texted everybody that I knew that either read books or I just thought might for me and really

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Oh, yeah!

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and really like the first connection point was your sister in law Morgan Kurtz, not Adralis, and I was just like okay I, If I can connect with her and we can kind of pick like a first book and a first meeting place together then

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Yeah, I was

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Yeah, I was like, I mean at least I know that me and morgan will show up So then whenever we had our first book club, it was literally six people you were out of town, but I I I knew that you would come if I asked you to but my our other sister julia came and then three other of my friends that I had just messaged and asked and since then it's grown to like I don't know 14 people or something. Yeah, so it's yeah So really I would just say like just think of anybody it could be work friends It could be people that you knew from college. It could be

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siblings

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siblings. It could be your siblings in laws Seriously, like I I just feel like people The reason that people don't do this type of thing is because they second guess if someone's gonna say yes or no or I don't know and it's just like does it even matter they're for sure gonna say no if you never ask them

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I also think it's such a thing where people are striving for community and friends and like That is why this is good is such a topical episode because so many people talk about how hard it is So if it's hard for all of us That means that

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if you're the

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all wanting it, yeah So if someone reaches out to you and says like hey Do you want to be a part of my book club and you're already thinking to yourself like oh, man I'd love to be a part of a book club That's awesome. So be the initiator. I do want to give a disclaimer that to make friends, you have to be able to put yourself out there. You have to be willing to talk to people. You do have to be willing to like, be kind of scared and make the first move. It's almost like dating. You've got to be okay with, yeah, with going on the

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Yes,

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and, and making the first

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You have to get the app, you know what I mean? Like you can't, if you make no move yourself, yeah, if you make, if you, if you don't initiate anything yourself, you're not going to get anywhere.

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absolutely. I love that a lot. I will say I've also seen, so I'll see people on like TikTok and things like that be like, Oh, I want to join a book club. How do I find that? And there's other ways. So if you are new to town and you're like, I don't even have anybody here that I can ask, or I don't know 50 people kind of thing, you can also. I know that libraries host book clubs and I only know that because of you because you started like public libraries They'll have them if you just go in. And public libraries are free, guys.

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Also tons of coffee shops. I've noticed this pop up recently. So there's like a plant shop in downtown Blue Springs. Have you?

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No, but I want to go so freaking bad. Okay,

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and Rooted.

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I just saw this place. Yeah,

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it's so cute. So it's a plant shop. Oh my gosh. Also, I was on Facebook the other day. They have our Pumpkin Spice Cafe. Book club book. They're selling it

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No way! Plant,

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plant. It's a plant shop And then it's it's called read and rooted. So it's mostly plants and then they did they have been getting in like bouts of books And they don't have a ton of books, but they do sell them there and she When I I went to their ribbon cutting and she was talking about how she wanted to start a book club And I'm pretty sure they did at least online

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Oh, I love it. Like

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Like at least with Facebook or something But there's another place that they I know they meet in person and it's like right in green or yeah Green Valley and it's a coffee shop and I when I realized that like cuz I followed them on Facebook again Social media is such a great place to like be able to get your foot in but that coffee shop They have a book club once a month and they kind of like in the facebook page they Have people vote on the book

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Oh, fun!

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Yeah, and then they read and they go there. Yeah, but i'm sure like there are coffee shops everywhere I'm sure that there is one near you if you just like search their facebook pages and find one that has a book club That's a great

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There's also, I know that, um, local bookstores will do it too. So, you remember that, that, uh, I can't remember what it's called. Under, it wasn't Under the Covers, because that was in Chicago. That But I'm talking about the one here that we went to after Shaylin's brunch. Oh,

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Oh, I thought it was

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was IT CALLED UNDER THE COVERS? It, I think it actually was under the covers.

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It's just cover.

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Okay, under the cover in Kansas City, I know that they do a book club.

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Yeah! Oh!

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wall and it

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it was just like

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a month thing that you could just go. So, local bookstores, local, uh, Coffee shops like these places want that community. They want to be involved in things and if book club's not your thing That's okay. You can also find a bowling league.

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I was gonna say, the ne

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a yoga

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yes, one of the things on my list was like, our volleyball league, so, and the reason it's so tied to me is because I did like, I felt like when I played volleyball in college and roped people into that, it was the exact same way that I roped people into book club, but I, but yeah, like whether it's volleyball or like bowling, like you said, or something like that, there are also Facebook groups for those. So when we lived downtown, we lived close to the river market, you know how we used to play over by Berkeley Riverfront Park. Beautiful place to play volleyball. we, there was a Facebook group that was just kind of open volleyball and you could join it just to see when people were going to the courts to play. And people would post, headed out, you know, five or six of us are headed out to play. And so that way, like, if you were on a Friday night and you had nothing to do and you didn't really want to, you know, Go out to the bars or whatever you could just go you could go to the volleyball courts and people would be there So and and you knew that they were welcome Like or that you were welcome because they posted in the facebook group So I swear there's a facebook group for everything

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Oh, there is. And

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that is part of where kathleen has met lots of her new friends so

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you've met a lot of friends. Friends, I feel like. Oh,

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yeah, i'm I am not above instagram messaging somebody I actually multiple people in our book club came from that

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Yeah. Yes, and

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for you too.

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Uh huh. Yeah for me too. Yeah, there's girls in our book club who yeah I mean guys this one's literally on our list of like Instagram facebook like these great ways to meet people as can be through there where I had Um, her name is hailey if you're listening to this. I love you I'm, so glad that I get to be your friend But her and I and I hope that she feels the same way Otherwise, this will be an embarrassing story for me, but she and I I don't even oh apparently we met When we were really little

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Yeah, you guys actually did play volleyball together. I kind of recognized her when she said that. I was like, oh.

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That's something I totally forgot about. I do not remember that. I think I also I have a terrible memory if you know me so anyway But her and I were just like mutuals for the longest time on instagram Like we would always like each other's posts. I feel like whenever she got married I commented and was like, oh my god Congratulations, like I had like I was up to date with her life Did not know who she was had never really met her as an you know Like if we met each other as kids, it's almost kind of like where there's like the invisible string kind of thing But it's like as an adult. I hadn't met her We were not a part of each other's lives and then we had we were in our book club me and Morgan we were in our book club and Hailey would always like the stories I would post, or always like the books I was reading, and she would comment on, like, my stories, and be like, Oh my god, like, I love this book! And then one day I was like, You should come to book club! Like, we should meet each other, you should come to book club, it's obvious that you want to, and like, I feel like we have a lot in common and now she's a regular member of our book club and I get to see her Once a month and it's so fun

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That's how it was with Brittany. I had not met, I had not met Brittany in person. Even though I would have considered us friends.

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me with hailey. I'm like, no, she's my friend She's my instagram friend. I

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I had not met her until she came to book club the

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Yeah, and which is so funny because you guys seemed so natural

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Oh yeah, and now we have like lunch regularly. She's

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she's like an og member

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Oh, totally. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so, I am not above Instagram messaging people and you shouldn't be either. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? You know, like if you, I just always think like it's always worth asking or reaching out or whatever because The thing is, if you never reach out or you never ask, the answer is always going to be no. Because you never gave them the answer to say, or the option to say yes. So, it's, yeah, and there were plenty of people that I messaged about the book club that did not join. Which is totally fine.

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six people showed up at the

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Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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there. No, I love that. There's also nothing wrong with, Like, on Instagram or Facebook, like, everyone likes a compliment. If you're seeing something, I feel very strongly about this, that if you have a compliment that you want to give someone, or you like, it pops into your head, you should say it. Like, it's too short, and I think it's because I'm a words of affirmation person, so it comes really naturally to me, and I know other people, that's not natural for them at all, but like, I feel like I saw you, I liked your shirt, and I said, oh my gosh, you look so cute, that was like the first thing I said to you, and I said, I love your shirt, and I liked your hair, and I was like, your hair looks good, like, and no Doesn't like a compliment and so if you're seeing like I had another Instagram friend is what I call her because I've never met her in real life But when she got married, I was commenting on her post. I was like, oh my god Your dress is beautiful like they just posted their like one year anniversary or something and I Slid up on our story and I was like, oh my gosh, like I still am obsessed with your dress I'm obsessed with you. This is so cool. And I feel like we're friends

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Oh yeah.

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like, you know what I

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There are plenty of people that I don't know that I'm friends with on Instagram. Exactly. Yeah.

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such an easy way. Um, I also feel like we God, this is so fun. I feel like it's like a tangent episode because I'm like guys make your freaking friends But on to what we were saying earlier about the book club of like Book club's not your thing. You wanna do something else? You can do like the yoga or the Pilates, or doesn't even have to be that, but there are classes Yes. That you can join.

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So not even just, you can do free ones. Mm-Hmm. Like for instance, we went to one that was at our local art. Museum's lawn, the Nelson Art

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Museum.

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has them for free. Like you could literally go to a free course and then at the end of it, just instead of rushing out of there and being like, ah, I'm antisocial. Um,

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Stick around.

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could literally just like look over to the next person and being like. I love your set. That's so cute, you know, or or or be like, oh, that was a really great class I've never been to one of these have you been to multiple of these like really? Asking a question for the comp. Everybody loves a compliment and everybody loves to talk about themselves. So

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That is the truth.

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So compliment give him a compliment ask him a question and then and like some people may seem a little bit like Put off at first because quite honestly, they're not put off because you're asking them a question. They're put off because most people don't ask questions Most people are not interested in anybody by themselves. So it's like

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that's okay. Not everyone you talk to is gonna be as bubbly and happy go lucky as like we would be in public. And that's okay. And that's another one of those situations of like you don't know until you

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Absolutely. Yes, absolutely But it's like They for sure are never gonna respond to you if you never ask them a question, you know So it yeah, so there's that and then also if you are a part of like a gym or a fitness studio. I know Some of my friends like my friend McKenna has been going regularly to power life Which is also where Kristen used to teach at but there's like power life studios or core you know What is it core yoga or pure bar or

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Oh yeah!

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theory? There's all these different studios and I feel like everybody's inclination after class is to just like get changed rushed out of there Whatever if you have a few extra minutes Just take the few extra minutes to look over at someone and be like, oh was this your first whatever class or oh my gosh That was that was really challenging like or you know I love your set or where'd you get your yoga mat or whatever it is I feel like That is a great, you already know you have a similar interest, you know what I mean, like

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And then you see each other next time and you're

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like, oh

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like, ah, this set's adorable too. Like, or like, oh my gosh, when I got home, I went on Amazon and like looked at that set that you were looking at and got a similar one. Like, you know, it's so, it really is so simple. It's not easy, but it's simple. Yeah.

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and then I would even encourage you to go a step further and Now getting each other's numbers sometimes feels very taboo at first But you could easily get each other's instagrams like or snapchat or whatever. It is

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And it might take a couple weeks to build up for you. It's like the

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you can you can literally just post Be like oh my and especially if they say like, oh, yeah It's a set that I found on instagram or something like that You could be like send it to me and then you have their info It's so nice.

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is so funny. That is actually how I got my best friend's number. So I mean, this was back, not through Instagram and not through like a set, but yeah, back, this is so funny. We became friends in high school, but I, she had a picture of Harry Styles that I wanted and I said, Oh my God, you need to send that to me. And I was like, here's my number.

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The rest is

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The rest is history. We never stopped talking after that, but

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Bailey and Sophie.

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as that. Yep.

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Oh my gosh. Isn't that fun? Yeah, yeah. So I feel like, especially somewhere like that where you already know you have a similar interest, like you're, you're at the coffee shop for the book club or, or even you're just at a coffee shop. Like you know that this person,

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likes coffee,

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to go out and get coffee.

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Mm-Hmm.

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Or you're at the, the fitness studio. Or you're at, where's somewhere else that you would have a similar interest? I don't know.

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Um, the, the live club library

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or yeah, the club. There you go. I have totally added people on Instagram going out

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I have so many Snapchat friends from the

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If you're out like the hot country nights like you're at the country local country concert or something, you know You have something in common, you know what I mean?

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always find a friend in the bathroom,

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Sometimes

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bathrooms are

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yeah, sometimes

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too many friends

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the bathroom, but yeah, exactly. And I will say that I, I kind of use this, so I feel like the given when it's like hard to make friends is that maybe you haven't made friends at work or whatever. It, but there are things like, so.

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My workplace,

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okay, I make, I make plenty of friends at work. But, multiple of our, our, of our people in our book club are friends from my

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Mm hmm. Who I have now become friends with. And I don't work with them.

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honestly closer friends with, which I'm kind of jealous of, but whatever. But, it's an age thing, whatever. But anyway, no, but, We like are my workplace is a part of the local chamber of commerce So if you are in a workplace that has the opportunity for you to go to like networking events or things like that again Kind of yes again like kind of a scary place to be sometimes but when you put yourself out there a lot of the time it's worth it and My friend, my new friend, Ruby,

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Oh, yes.

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the way that we met? Was we were at like a coffee networking event. I was just asking her some questions. Cause again, like I just want people to feel like I, I care about the, and I do like, I care about them. I care about what they're telling me, whatever. And I was asking her questions and quickly into the conversation, I realized that she. Is brand new here? She has been here like three weeks. Mm-Hmm. moved from Colorado. Doesn't know anybody. I literally, at some point I was like, so do you have like family here? She's like, oh no. And then I was like, do you have like a roommate? Oh no. And then I was like, have you made any friends yet? Like, I just genuinely, and she's about our age, like, yeah. So I just genuinely was like. Do you need a friend? You know, like it's basically, and then she was like, Oh, I've made like one friend and I was like, Oh, okay. And then we, we got to talking about some of her interests and she was reading it ends with us by Colleen

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Uh huh. Which was so funny, guys. Yes. Because.

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we were planning on going to see that as our book club. So I was like, Oh my gosh. And so I texted her, uh, she gave me her business card and she was like, my phone number is on there. If you, you know, if you want it, it's my personal. And I was like, Oh

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course I want it.

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Yeah, but at first I was like, Oh God, get your personal phone

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You're like i'm worried for you

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Yeah. No, just kidding. But, but yeah. So then later I texted her and I was like, I didn't even think of this, but our book club is doing this, whatever. And now I would say like, we're friends, like we've had lunch a couple of times and she came to the movie. She's cut. She's come to book club. She went to our last book club too.

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Oh fun, I did not go to that one find out why in our book club episode

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Yeah. So it's just one of those things where it's like, you can just. Exchange info right there. Just ask each other a few questions. It's I don't know. I really think the compliment and question is

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works like a

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Compliment question just keep it in your back in the back your head

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Yep, it works like a charm every time and Like that is so exciting for her because she is in a new spot where she's like, I don't know anybody How the heck do I make these friends? She had a conversation with one person You which is lucky for her But she had a conversation and then boom like this whole other world opened up

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know what the opening was? I just remembered this.

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I

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Cuz she had these cute this cute little like it was like a pink skort kind of almost but it was more of like a Businessy skort. It's so cute. I was like, oh my god. I love your skort, you know and And then we yep compliment

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did you say, where did you get it?

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I am sure I did but I can't remember where she did get

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Oh, that's all right. You were too, at that point you were invested in the conversation. I love it. Well, if we were also going to go with more ways to meet people and maybe you're not as social or you have really decided that they're like you want, you're really looking for a certain path of life. I feel like church can be a great place. Now church is not for everyone, totally get that, but if it is and you're finding yourself like kind of wanting to go You know Explore your relationship with religion and things like that Church is great. There's so many groups within a church at almost every church now You got to find a good church. I do feel like most of them are, you know, you want a fun exciting

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just like anything else where you probably want a referral like a referral goes the longest way. So if you know it, you can do your research and like review them and whatnot. But I think this is another great example of where you kind of have to Like some people, the way they treat church is they go in and they go out, right? Just like the gym or the wherever we're talking about. And church is another great place where they have plenty of opportunities to connect. Most churches, at least, where if you, if you just stay just a little bit longer, you see someone from across the way or whatever that you

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You go to the coffee station. Yeah. A lot of churches will have coffee in the

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Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah, then just take that one extra step of connecting with somebody before you leave Yeah or before you enter the sanctuary or whatever hall or whatever it is then I Feel like that's just another great example of how someone you can't really make excuses for yourself if you're not making friends because you could there are so many people that go to church and Then they leave and they're like, well, I didn't make any friends. It's like, okay You Sometimes you have to take the extra step, you know. Sometimes you have

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or like, no one talked to me. Like, we're all scared to talk to each

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other. I went to church and no one talked to me. Okay, did you talk to anybody? Right,

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yep. I will say that the church we grew up at, um, and I thought it was a great church. I really liked it. And I don't have a ton of experiences with other churches because I really just would go to that one and like the one in college in Columbia. But I know that our church growing up was great about it. Always like I know before the service would start, you know, the pastor gets up there or the worship team They're saying like look to your neighbor say hi for a couple minutes And they would like encourage you to talk for like three minutes or whatever and then they'd be like, all right back up here Or they would hand out Um, or they have like the cards in the back of the pews

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so

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So you could look at those and it would tell you like hey on Wednesday night We're having a worship night and on Thursday night We're having like this big barbecue and like, you know I feel like churches host a ton of events and they want you to come to them They want you to be a part of that. So maybe and maybe you're like, I don't know where to go I don't have anybody here to refer me to and there's gonna be people around Easter every year We'll come to your house and give you cards and stuff That's true. Go to those churches. Try them out.

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That is so true. Yeah. And I think the other thing with churches is that you can You can get involved in like smaller groups or like go to the events or things like that but the the other cool thing about churches is that You can also get involved in serving in some way. Like often if you are putting yourself in a position of service at a church, then you are Probably going to meet some of the leaders that are in the church already And so it's a really really great way to meet people The small groups, of course. Yeah, I feel I feel like It's a great way to meet people and you're probably going to find people with similar needs Beliefs, similar values, similar, similar interests as you.

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yeah I think that's a really important thing too as we say that this is like a continuation of our last episode of How we're finding friends that are aligned with you Going to the organizations or going to the things that you see for yourself that you want in your life that like are your priorities You Getting involved in those things are going to help you make those friends that are also involved in those

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Yeah, I think especially We As people become parents too, some of these things become a little bit more

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Daunting and time consuming

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Well, it becomes daunting to make friends, but they become a little bit more aware of what are important things to

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them. Oh, absolutely.

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like, They could go to the club and make friends but probably not if they have kids,

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No. They're like, I don't, I don't want, I'm trying to leave my clubbing friends behind

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behind exactly exactly Yeah, so going to the club friday night is probably less likely of a place that they're gonna make friends than going to church sunday and like staying after or even just like you pick your kid up from the kindergarten room or whatever and And then you talk to a parent in the hallway who also has a kindergartner like you you already know that you have a similar interest And you already know that you guys are in a place where you value the same thing And so it just makes it easier to know that you might Jive,

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Yeah, absolutely. Or like, going to the park and you're

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seeing. Yeah I

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there. Or, I mean, a dad if you're listening to this. You see another Parent there,

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Or story time at the library or I've seen like mommy and me yoga classes Jared's aunt no cousin, I think

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Uh huh.

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There's age differences, so anyway, she yeah, she she leads like mommy and me yoga classes

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fun! So cute,

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like you already know that that person there has something in their life. That's similar to you and has an interest That's similar

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Yes. I absolutely love that one man, we've really gone through these and obviously we feel strongly about these

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Yes. I think the last one that I had though, and you are familiar with this, is I remember

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Different apartments

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that I lived in. So if you're renting and you live like in an apartment complex, or even a community that has some sort of community hall or community room or something like that, A neighborhood that has like a clubhouse or something. Yeah, they probably have events again. This is a great What this is a great time to get connected to whatever the facebook page is or whatever even today keegan and anna jared's brother and part, his partner. They, I was telling them like, do you have a resident portal? Because you can go in there to see like what deals you have, what, whatever. And they were finding that stuff in their resident portal that they, that they didn't know existed.

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Love it.

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yeah, so you can go into your resident portal or your apartment complexes, Facebook group, or whatever it is, and find when they're having events that sometimes they have like little social hours. Did you ever, you planned stuff

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Oh my gosh. Yes as a property manager You literally had to have one event a week and you had to have a large event per month Now it was student housing, but no actually whenever I even worked here In just regular multi family housing. We still had to do that and property managers want you to come Otherwise our time is wasted.

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Oh, yeah.

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want you there. We're trying to get you. I say we I was guys. Um, we Want you there. Yeah, we're trying to do things that like are getting the community involved. So yeah, go to

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And you already know that someone there is seeking connection, too. Yes. You know, if they put themselves in that spot. Jared and I went to a wine and paint one.

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Love i've done that too.

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was, it was literally us two, and this, like, one probably six year old woman and She was so sweet and then but then after that we saw her in the every time we saw her in the hallway We're like, oh hi good to see you You know, we talked to her in the elevator or whatever and we expected to meet a few more people but it but There are lots of events like that and it's such an easy thing. It's I like literally in your living space

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I love that so much. I also think that it could be said for making friends with your neighbors. Now, this is not something I have ever done because I am more of like a scaredy cat. I wouldn't say I'm a scaredy cat. I'm not ever scared to talk to people. I just am more like of a homebody, but I know that our aunt mercedes and uncle nate

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Yeah!

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went to visit them in colorado and they were telling us all about It was really close to Halloween and they were telling us about their Halloween nights and that on their Halloween nights They all put their kids to bed They live on a cul de sac and that they all go and sit in the cul de sac and like trick or treat at each other's houses But like with shooters or like they play cornhole in the cul de sac while they all have their baby monitors on

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them Yeah,

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And I was like that is so fun. I was like, I want to live in a neighborhood like that but One person has to get that started. Someone has to become friends with their neighbor. You have to be able to reach out to your other people and then like now they're all best friends. They did not know each other beforehand. And now they like hang out all the time. I think that their next door neighbor had like a teenager who became Aunt Mercedes and Uncle Nate's babysitter. like she was right next door and they met her and I just think that's so fun. So it sounds scary. It sounds daunting. I know that it's We are making it sound so easy and it's because It is simple to do.

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I yeah, and i'm not saying that it's easy, but i'm just saying look at how many avenues there are there are

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they're everywhere

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and I almost feel like we have a responsibility to make friends But yes, I do because I feel I feel like we need I, well, I'm not planning on having kids, but I feel like our, like the kids, I don't know, like they need examples of that. Like they, they need examples of healthy adult friendships and they, I don't know, I just feel like growing up, I never really thought about how as an adult, like it was important to have friends. Like I feel like our parents did have friends, but I guess I just feel like You don't want to, like, lose yourself as an adult when you start to have kids. You want to have those friendships, you want to have friendships formed, but you also want to still, like, leave room in your life for connection that is not related to your

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your kids. Yeah, I definitely think that's, like, a generational thing, where I feel like our generation is looking at our own parents as every generation does. And we're looking at our own parents and, like, I think it could be really easy to get lost as parents, and I think our generation's doing a really good job of trying to, like, making sure that you're still a person

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I I think that's true with parenthood for sure But I think also just with the increase of social media and whatnot It's so much easier to sit on your phone on like a tuesday night than it is to go To a church small group or to a workout class or to the library or whatever

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yeah.

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You And I feel like it just gets that much harder with kids. Yeah. And kids have way more access to social media and things like that. So I feel like kids are connecting less. And I just feel like it's a good thing to model friendships and making new friendships. Yeah. Yeah.

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I love it so much. I feel like this episode has got to be like giddy. I'm like ready to go out there and

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make friends. You're like, I'm gonna go make 10 new friends.

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Oh my god. Maybe that's what our call to action should be. Listen to this episode. Send it to some friends and be like, hey, that of you all listening to this one, let's get brunch. Yeah. Like, let's get

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yeah. There is probably somebody that you're thinking of that you're like, Oh, maybe I, like,

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like to be friends.

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I've always, yeah. There are literally people in my life that I feel like I'm friends with because I was like, I just really would love to I just really think that we'd be good friends. Me

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with Haley. I love that. That makes me excited. And I hope that while you guys are listening to this, like, that you're getting jazzed up, you're getting amped up, you're going out there, and you're going to make those friends.

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Yeah, and maybe you could even send it to someone who you're like, Hey, I've really been wanting to try out a new church, would you be willing to go with me? Or, you know, Send it to your extroverted friend and be like, Hey, would you be willing, would you be willing to go to yoga with me and be my liaison to meeting

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Yes. Cause you would do that for me.

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Was

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wingman of friends. I'm serious! Yes, But no, I feel strongly about this episode. I really hope it's giving you some ideas and just shown you that it really is everywhere. And obviously. Others are also striving for the friendships.

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Yes, absolutely. And if you are really, really that stuck, you can always message me. you a friend.

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True, you will. I love it.

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your friend or I'll find you one.

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Absolutely. Well, thanks for tuning in, guys. We hope you loved it. And we'll see you next week. Cheers!