51: [Let's Get Deep] Mindset Shift--Choose Your Hard

This episode is all about Choosing Your Hard! What do you want MOST vs. what do you want NOW and which one will win? 

Hopefully this is the gut check you need to kick it into high gear on whatever goals await you!

CHEERS!

Transcript

0:01

Okey dokey. You ready? Yes. Welcome to the Fill Your Cubs podcast. We're your hosts, Morgan and Bailey. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. We are very, very excited to. Talk today a little bit about choosing your heart and the concept behind that and ways to help you do that, so mm-hmm. And shift to that perspective. But before we dive in, we do have a phone announcement. We've announced it La last episode as well, and put some stuff out on our social media, but want you to save the date. For Sunday, June 8th, we are having a little get together to celebrate our one year of the podcast. So ah, our one year birthday party. Yes. We're officially climbing up to one year of the podcast, which is insane. Yeah. Releasing episodes every Monday for the last year. Oh my gosh. And then bonus book club episodes. Once a month in between those. Yeah. So super duper fun. We're really excited about that. And want you to save the date. We are going to do it here in the Kansas City area. We're doing it in the electric Garden Park area of Jay Rieger. Mm-hmm. So very fun. You can come buy some drinks, buy some food, enjoy yourself. Mm-hmm. It'll be help us celebrate. Yeah. It'll be in the late afternoon. One to four. So we are really excited about that. Please mark your calendars and save the date so that we can see you there. Yes, we're so excited for that. We hope we see all of you guys there. We want this to be a chance for us to kind of connect with our listeners and we already honestly know a bunch of you guys, but if we have never met before or you are a listener who is maybe not as active on social media or something like that, it was a great time for. You to get to tell us that you're a listener and we can explore. No, not explore. I was gonna say we can celebrate together. Yes. Yes. Exciting. Yes. Well, before we get into the episode, what is filling your cup today? I just have water. There you go. Yeah. I feel like I've been born the last few times, but yep. Just water today. Just what about you? Just water you. I have my water as well, but then I also have coffee because I am still in the exhaustion. Trenches of pregnancy. Oh man. Like I thought, how many weeks are you now? 20. So I know, so like halfway through and I thought that second trimester was gonna give you so much energy is what everybody says. Like, oh, you get your energy back, you get your life back, blah, blah, blah. But I'm still so exhausted. Yeah. So I'm like, ugh. But I've got coffee. Nice. And it's in a really cute cup. Yes. I love this little cup. I actually got this for Morgan Kurtz's um, bachelorette party. Oh, nice. We all got different colors. That's adorable. So yeah, it was fun while you were. In, what was it, Dallas? Yes, we were in Dallas, but no, it was actually, we got it as like a gift beforehand. Yes, yes. Okay. Cute. So I think that, I honestly can't remember'cause I know I got these, I think I got some like flower hair clips and maybe some sunglasses. Nice. And then like made little bags for everybody. Aw, cute. It was, it was actually really fun. We took tons of pictures out by the pool with a, with all the different colored sunglasses. I love it. It was like a 25 pack of like the heart shaped Yes. One. So it was actually really fun. I love that. Anyway, anyway, sorry. I know you have a shout out for today. I do. We posted on our Instagram story this last Friday being like, we're loving the weather. It's giving us a great Friday feeling. Let's filling your cups this week and we got a response from someone who's a dear friend of ours. Yes. She's on Instagram as Easton or East Roy, but her name is Easton. She's actually our photographer. Yes. So she does all of our pictures. So if you're looking for a local photographer, let us know. We can get you guys connected For real, shout out to Easton. Yes. So good? Yes. Her Instagram handle for her photography is from the east photography. Mm-hmm. So it's pretty cute. But her shout out for what was filling her cut this week was that her whole fam is together out of town for the first time in five years, and we know how that feels. We just came back from LA are like. First family trip ever. So we're so excited for you. We hope it goes well and smooth and that you're celebrating something exciting. Yeah, definitely shout out Easton. Shout out Easton. Thanks for the photos. Thanks for, thanks for the submission on Insta. We love ya. Yes. All right, well wanna get into the our, our episode for the day. Let's get into it. Yeah. So you actually had this initial idea and then I was like, I wanna take this and run with it. Yeah. So do you wanna tell them kind of where you came up with the idea? Yeah, so I am a huge Pinterest person, so. I save a lot of quotes on Pinterest and things like that. Like just ones that I'm like, oh, this is so good for me, I'm gonna save it. I look back later, but I saw one that was said like, choose your hard, and then it had, mm-hmm. A table that said, this is hard. And then another table that said, but this is also hard. And it was things like choosing to eat nutritious is hard, but it's also hard to. Eat fast food every day and watch your like bank count dwindle and watch your energy crash every day. Mm-hmm. Like so as examples like that, like this is hard, but this is also hard. Yeah. And you kind of have to just choose your hard. Yeah. So that's when I saw that and I just added it to our little like episode. Ideas. Ideas that we have and was like, I would love to do this at some point. So, yeah. Yeah. And I was glad that you were like, yeah, let's definitely do it. Um, we'll make sure to share that graphic that I saw because it was really inspiring when I saw it. Yeah. And I was like, okay, you're right. Yeah. You do have to just choose your hard. Yeah. I really like the mindset shift, and I'm kind of hopeful that this. Episode for our listeners can be kind of a kick in the pants and just a, like a kick in the pants, like some hard truth, but then also kind of a pep talk to actually move forward on whatever it is that you are wanting to change. Because I feel like choosing your heart is mostly the hard of making a change. Yeah. And it's truly like. When you inaction is still action, you know? Mm-hmm. Inaction is still moving you in a direction somewhere. Yeah. And so whenever you aren't doing something or deciding to stay the same, that's also the same as deciding not to progress or not to get better or not to take action forward. And so, yeah. Anyway, so I feel like in my head that's like the umbrella of it is choosing the hard of. Staying the same or choosing the hard of becoming more of the person that you want to be. Yeah. And then there's a bunch of different facets that fall under that, that we'll kind of talk about with the nuances. Yes. So I, I love this idea. I feel like I hear a lot or I, I hear these kinds of. Thoughts come up? Mm-hmm. A lot in like entrepreneurial settings or just, or a lot in like fitness settings too. Yeah. Because that's a really, really big example that people choose a lot. Huge. But I do think that it's important to start thinking like, hopefully this will just be like a gut check. Mm-hmm. Of like, okay, what do I want most versus what do I want now? Mm-hmm. And what is like, what's the big thing that I. That is going to be hard to change. Yeah. But it's so important to me that I don't want the heart of the opposite if I didn't change it. So, yeah, I mean, I will say that even without having done the episode yet,'cause we're actively doing it, just the idea of it, I've already put it into effect this week. Really? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Which we can, I'll give examples whenever we like get into it, but yeah, I've already been like, okay, yeah. Like you just gotta do it now kind of thing. Or like. If you don't do this, it'll all be harder later. Like, yeah. Yeah. It's like. Life is gonna be hard no matter what. Yeah. You know, discipline, that's just the cold truth. Yeah. It's like life is gonna be really hard. Discipline and consistency, like those are hard things, but so is regret or mm-hmm. Feeling like you didn't live up to your potential. Like that's a really hard feeling too. So, yeah. You only you get to choose. Yeah. So, well, let's just dive right in. So let's get into it. We were gonna start with some examples in case people aren't really following us on like what this means. So yes, you, I wrote some examples, but you said that you have some actual, like, real life ones from this week. Do you wanna share some? Yeah. One of mine was in a, in my work setting, I could just tell that my email was getting bogged down. I could tell that I had lots of papers starting to form on my desk, but I also just did not want to do anything. Mm-hmm. I was like, I don't want to, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling. Uh, tired. But it's funny because I know that when I'm feeling really overwhelmed at work or really anxious, it's because I have things that have to get done mm-hmm. That I'm just putting off. So I told myself, I was like, you know what? If you're wanting to read a little bit at work, or you're wanting to kind of like relax for the day at work, then you need to get your stuff done now. So I decided to choose the heart of doing the things now. Yeah. So that way I could relax later instead of relaxing and being super anxious and being overwhelmed and being overstimulated. Yeah. And so that was a big one for me. So I just did all the work that I had to do. It took me like two hours or so and I was like, oh my God, it's all done now. And so then, yeah, for the rest of the week I was set up. It's nice because I, I got everything done in like one day. Yeah. That almost reminds me of like the eat the frog thing. What the heck is that? You never heard that? No. It's a really common. Personal development or growth tool type of phrase, but it's the idea of in the morning, doing the hardest thing first. Oh, eating the frog. Eating the frog. I don't know why it's called Eating the frog. Actually, we should figure this out because that's, it is weird. I'm shocked that you've never heard it. I know that. I wonder if Mason has,'cause I know Jared has Eat the frog. It's oh, okay. So it comes from, mark Twain once said that if you have to eat a live frog, do it first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you all day. Wow. Wow. So it's the idea of do the do your least favorite thing in the morning because, or first, yeah, because then the rest of the day. Easy. Easy. That's, that's the thing that you were at least looking forward to. So you've gotten it outta the way and now the rest of the day you have nothing else that you're driving. I like that. So yeah, that's, that's basically this episode. Our title episode is gonna be Eat the Frog. Yeah. I do like framing it though, with the choosing, choosing which hard because I think that. We're so shortsighted or short minded, shortsighted, both, I guess, work. Mm-hmm. That we think about what we want now, like, and what I want right now is to not do this task at work. Right. Yeah. Like that's annoying. The hard is actually doing the work, you know? Right. Yeah. But then it's like thinking about, okay, but what do I want most? What I want most is to feel clear minded. Mm-hmm. And have a. Stress feel relaxed, like a stress free day. And so, okay, well if I want that, then what? Then what actions do I need to take to do that? Yeah, exactly. And that's, and so you choose the hard of doing it first instead. Exactly. And I feel like the biggest example I hear about this is probably in like fitness and health. Yeah. Is that because working out is hard, but being weak and unhealthy is hard too. And that's what's been a huge driver for me personally, I think. Honestly that my health habits are primarily. Fear focused on like what the hard might be in the future. Yeah. And very long term oriented. Yeah. Yeah, because I think, I think all the time I see I love her so much, but our grandma, she's pretty frail, pretty weak, and she's got some other like health things going on too. Mm-hmm. But I remember the first time out of college that she had a really bad fall. It really freaked me out and it wasn't too long after that that I started working out regularly because I was like. And I heard the stats about how your muscle mass starts to decrease. Yes. In your thirties and it just continues to do so. And it gets even worse in menopause. Don't get me started about being a woman, but, but anyway, and so to me I was like, okay. The right now the hard is getting up and doing a 20 or 30 minute workout. Yeah. Or the hard is establishing an extra 30 minutes in my morning to walk the dog. Like, honestly, walking is so good for you. Yeah. I'm so glad that Jared and I have made that a habit because we walk two miles a day, and even if I do no other physical activity, we've done that. You know? Mm-hmm. And so I. So the hard is that it's inconvenient right now. Yeah. I have to build in the time right now and like create a habit. Mm-hmm. But the hard that I'd rather choose that hard over the heart of being much later in life, having no strength in my legs. Mm-hmm. Being really in. Imbalanced and unstable. I'm not saying these things about my grandma, just about people getting aging in general. Yeah. Balanced, unstable, falling, not having protective physical measures against, you know, my fear is getting old and frail, so Yeah. Against that and so, so I feel like fitness is a really big one where that comes from, and that's kind of for, for me, the hard that I choose now, so that I don't have that hard later. Mm-hmm. I know for a lot of people it's weight based, so it's like, okay, choosing the heart of eating, fixing my eating habits now versus the heart of being 30 pounds overweight in five years. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. So that's, that's an example with fitness. Mm-hmm. There was a fi or there was a financial example I kind of pulled from your graphic too. Yeah. The financial example is that setting and sticking to a budget is really hard. Yeah. But so is being in debt. It's really hard. It sucks. So it's, there you go. You're choosing your hard, do you set the budget and do you stick to it? And do you kind of have maybe some crappy weeks of like, oh, we can't get all this fun, exciting stuff at the grocery store because we're trying to save money? Or do you say, let's get everything at the grocery store because it's fun right now, let's put it on a credit card and now you're stuck in debt. Yeah. Like which one's harder? Definitely choose it. Yeah. And I really like this last example that came up about relationships. Mm-hmm. Where it's. Honest conversations are hard, but resentment and disconnection is hard too. Yes. I liked that one. Yeah. Yeah. That one hits me in my core.'cause Jared and I are almost, we're going on nine years married. Mm-hmm. And we're really happy and I really value our marriage. But that's one thing that I feel like if you aren't intentional about choosing the hard Yes. Like choosing to love your partner, which can be hard at times. Yeah. Today. Then there's all this disconnect and resentment that builds up over time and you always, you know, you hear about the couples that just grew apart. Yeah. And 30 years later they're divorced and or, or less than that. And not to put down anybody's relationship or decision to get divorced at all. Mm-hmm. Just mostly, like for me personally, that's something that I really, really. Don't want. Don't want. Yeah. And so that hard of getting divorced because of all these little things building up or whatever. Mm-hmm. It kind of, it puts in perspective today. Okay. I'm gonna choose the heart of having an honest conversation or. Being intentional about date nights. Yeah. Or really, you know, putting my phone down when Jared talks to me. Like stuff like that. Yeah. Just little things. Yeah. That are hard in the moment. Mm-hmm. But what episode did we just do where we were basically talking about like how to have hard conversations? Yeah. And that was a lot. Inspired because I had this conversation with Jared. It was navigating tough convos with loved ones. It was April 7th. Okay, so that is reminding me of this one. I feel like in that episode a lot. Like I was, I was trying to say like, it's not easy to build this type of relationship. It's not easy to build a communication. It's not easy to have these conversations that make you so uncomfortable, but it's so good for you in the long run. Yes. It's so important. And so I do feel like that's a perfect example of choosing your hard. Of choosing the hard to sit down, have this really uncomfortable conversation. Yeah. Even if it's just saying like, Hey, I didn't like that you said this. Yeah. It doesn't have to be anything like mind or like life changing. Yeah. But like even just sitting down with your partner and saying that it sucks and can be hard and like you have to navigate how each, both of you guys are gonna feel during that for sure. But it's also hard to go to bed angry at them every night or to in two weeks whenever they do it again. You're fighting and they have no idea why. Mm-hmm. Like, that's hard too. Yeah, definitely. So choosing that hard, that was episode 45, by the way. If you wanna go back and listen to that and right now you're like, yeah. The my relationship is the hard that is happening right now. Yeah. Or that I'm afraid is gonna get harder and harder in the future. Mm-hmm. If this is kind of like. A gut check, like I was saying before, like a kick in the pants for that. Maybe go listen to that episode. Yes. Because I was very nervous to have like a hard conversation with Jared and it hone and it honestly, having the conversation just made us so much more connected, so I know, isn't that the funny part? Like afterwards like, oh my God, I feel so much better. Yes. So much better. Even though you go into so anxious. Yeah. Well, before we kind of get into like the, almost like the how to section of it and just how to apply it, I wanna say that I. Was listening to this podcast episode a little while ago and it was, I was like really trying to figure out how can I wake up in the mornings?'cause guys, I'm a horrible waker. Like I will snooze my alarm every time I will. I just don't wanna get out of bed. I'm not a morning person. I don't ever wanna get out bed Last week, I don't know. I did. I've still been doing this. I did, yes. I woke up at seven all last week and I was really Job, lemme know lie, it was probably like seven 10. Okay, but hey, not bad. Not bad. Still earlier than normal, right? Way early or Yeah, normally I get out of bed at like seven 40 and have to leave at like 7 45. Little by little a little becomes lot. Exactly. But when I was listening to this episode of a podcast, I don't even remember what podcast it was'cause I just think I was searching random ones, but it was like five ways to make it easier to get up in the morning. But she sat at the beginning of the episode. She was like, now when you listen to this episode, I want you to know that I can give you all the tips and all the tricks that you want, and I can tell you exactly how to do it, but I can't make you do it. You have to do it. Mm-hmm. You have to be the one to decide for yourself. You have to be the one to actually make it happen for yourself. Mm-hmm. And I was like, oh my God, she's so right. Like. No one can hold my hand in the morning to get me out of bed. Yeah. I can't expect for Mason to be like, I can't expect for him to get up every morning with me because it makes it easier for me. Right. Like you just have to choose to do it. You just busy. You just have to, and so I feel like that is my disclaimer. Before we start of, we can give you all the tips, we can give you all the tricks, we can give you all of the mindset. Questions to ask yourself and things like that. But also at a certain point you just have to do it. Yeah. So I just wanna put that out there. And I think that's probably mostly for myself. Great disclaimer, but I just wanted to put that out there and say, it's tough love, but you just gotta do it. Great. Great disclaimer. So yeah, as we talk a little bit,'cause we, we like to, you know, get deep and talk about the hard stuff and whatnot and talk about our own lives and what you might be going through. And hopefully whenever we talk pretty transparent, apparently about our lives, you're like. Oh my gosh, I'm going through the exact same thing. Yeah. Or I know exactly what they're talking about. We've, that has happened to me before or, yeah. So we do like doing that, but we also like giving some direction of where to go. Yes. And so those were some just examples to get you into the perspective of, okay, this hard versus this hard. Yeah. But. We did write down some questions that can help direct you in your next steps. So the idea here is that it can help you focus on what hard, like kind of what hard you want to be zoning in on or focusing in on, because. I, it can be really like distracting to talk about Oh, so many different examples or whatever. Yeah. And then not know where to start. But to be honest, as we, as we talked about some of them, if any of those examples are yours, they, they might already be kind of like creeping up in your brain as like, oh yeah, I gotta do that. Yeah. You know, I gotta start waking up earlier, or something like that. Mm-hmm. But these questions can help you if you're kind of like, well, I don't really know where I need to. Start with it, with this, or where I wanna make the most change. So one question that I had, or the first question that I had that you could ask about yourself or ask to yourself is, what hard am I avoiding most? Mm-hmm. So when you think about what you are neglecting intentionally the most, what is it? It could be in your professional life, like you are choosing the heart of staying in a job that you're unhappy with rather than. Choosing the hard of stay, like taking extra time to apply to new jobs. Mm-hmm. Create cover letters, update your resume, all of those things. Yeah. You, it could be in your fitness, like we said, you could be choosing the hard of, or right now you could be choosing the hard of being in a body that you don't feel comfortable with and going to bed every night with. Aches and pains or going to bed each night feeling sluggish or mm-hmm. Coming home and not having the energy to play with your kids and or even wanna make dinner or things like that. Yeah. When really, you know, that you should be focusing on choosing the hard of just getting out for a walk once a day mm-hmm. Or drinking your water, or, you know what, you know what I mean? Yeah. Or eating fast food. Only one time a week instead of five times a week or something like that. Yeah. Um, so which hard do you feel like you are neglecting the most? That might be a place that could help you start? Yeah, and I feel like it's almost like an instinctual answer. Like whatever you said said, what hard are you neglecting Intentionally? Yeah. Of like, yep. Like it's gotta be intentional almost.'cause for me it's the waking up uhhuh of like, I, every time I snooze, I know it would just be better if I were to get up. And then I unfortunately choose the heart of, now I'm rushing around and now I don't feel very good throughout the day. And now I don't look very good throughout the day and like I don't get any energy'cause I don't get to eat breakfast until 10 like so. There you go. What, like the intentional or Yeah. What is the hard that you're avoiding? The most intentionally? Yeah. I think started to notice that a big, the one of the biggest ones for me is. Not major updates like to my home. Mm-hmm. But just kind of home, uh, upkeep kind of. Yeah. Like those are the things that I, or those things are things I procrastinate the most, but also the things that I think that if I changed mm-hmm. I would be so much happier. Yeah. Like the hard it right now is like there are several windows in our house that I still haven't hung curtains on. Mm-hmm. And the hard is just that I need to buy the curtains, hang them, go through the little bit of effort to do that. But then the hard right now that I'm facing is walking through a house where it annoys me every time I see them. Yes. And it's like a. Consistent pestering thing. Yes. And so, and there's a lot of like, that's one example. Mm-hmm. With the house. But I've noticed that the house is a big category for me. Yeah. But that is the case because it, that's one example, but there's so many others. Yes. Where I'm like, why don't I just do it? Yes.'cause the funny thing about it is if you just do it, then like your list of things you have to do, get smaller. You feel more productive. Yeah. You feel better now. You're not annoyed every time that you see it. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how simple it sounds, but how hard it is to do it. Yeah. But you don't have to choose it. But also action breeds motivation. So like as soon as I put up one, I'm gonna immediately be like, now I'm gonna put up the rest. Yeah. And after that I'm gonna like, it's just one of those things where when you take action or like you at work with your. Getting your tasks done. Mm-hmm. It's like you take the action, you get it done, and then you're like, wow, I, and you feel like you can get so much o other stuff done. Yeah. It just, it. Yeah. It breeds motivation, I feel like, or action breeds more action. I don't really know what the, I like that. Yeah. Another question I think that you could ask yourself is, in six months, what would I be really disappointed in? If it's the same, and I say six months, mostly just because it's May and there is, and this is like, okay, tell me at the beginning or end of 2025. Mm-hmm. What would you be like? I would be really upset if this is the same, and I know my immediate response is this freaking bathroom that we have talked about redoing for so long. Yeah. Now that is a bigger project. Huge. So it doesn't count with what I was saying. Mm-hmm. But I know that that is something that like we've been talking about. Since we moved into the house. Yeah. Five, almost five years ago. Mm-hmm. That we've talked about redoing and we haven't. And just things come up and it's really easy to make an excuse and whatever, but if in six months we haven't at least started on changing that bathroom, I would be pretty disappointed. Yeah. So I feel like asking yourself this question can help narrow your focus.'cause if. You are really uncomfortable in your body or you are like, or if you're in a job that you hate and you're like, at the start of the year, if I'm in that job, I am. Going to be extremely upset. Yeah. Or if at the start of the year, I feel the exact same way in my body now that I have, you know what I mean? Yeah. It just can help you narrow your focus, I guess. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Mine is changing my social security to my married last name. Yeah. And then like getting my passport as well.'cause I'm pretty sure that, I mean, my driver's license has been updated. My social security has not, so like my insurance still says like Bailey Tok and not Bailey. And I'm pretty sure that when I give birth it will go on my baby's birth certificate as Bailey Tok. If I do not have my social change and I'm like, it, that cannot happen. Courtney said that was a really, that was really tough'cause for her. Oh yeah. So I'm like, I need to get that hard done now. That's a good point. It's like it's hard to do it, but it's also hard to not have my last name be the same as my baby's last name on my baby's birth certificate. Yeah. That feels way harder to me. Yeah. But it's really hard to make the appointment and take time off work and figure out how I have to do it. It's, that's hard to Yeah. But I have to choose which one's harder. Yeah. And baby certificate is way harder. See, and this is why it's good to get into the mindset because on the daily, you're not thinking like. You know what would be really hard is if I don't have, is if my baby does. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or like, you know what would be really hard if is if I was 80 and I couldn't walk? Like stuff like that. Like we don't think about that on a daily, but we do think about, you know, it's really hard is making like a nutritious meal or going to the DMV. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, but that's not as hard as. What could happen if you don't? Yeah, I didn't even think about that until your thing said in six months and I was like, okay. Like what would be, what is something hard in my life right now that would be hard in six months too, or like that I would be really disappointed and I was like, oh shit, this. Yeah, because this is something I have been needing to change this for three years now. Don't, because I just don't want like I want to. It's just hard to do it. Yeah. Haven't done it. And I was like, oh crap. I actually need to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Good. So I like that reflection question. It's a great reflection question of. Down the road, what will you be really disappointed in yourself if you have not changed or, yeah. Done or chosen? Yeah. That one's huge. Yeah. And then I have one more reflection question before getting into the how to, like, once you've mm-hmm. Narrowed your focus, but what, ask yourself, like, what are your top two or three values? Like if you were describing yourself to somebody. Or if you were describing to somebody who you want to be as a person, what are the two or three things that you would say, and then are the hard things that you're choosing on the daily, a reflection of that? Yeah, because we, we are what we do every day. We talked about that in our habit episode. So like what, some things that came up to me are like, I really like for people to think of me as a positive person. Mm-hmm. I really like to be a positive, optimistic, energetic, bubbly person. Yeah. Like I, I like. And I, and I feel like in some of the, you know, sometimes it is harder to get in the car after hanging out with a group of people and someone annoyed you. Sometimes it's harder to get into the car and talk about the things that you really enjoyed about that time together. Yeah. Rather than what, rather pissed you off. Rather than immediately getting in the car and be like, did you hear what so and so said? Yeah. What the fuck? Truly we are what we do repeatedly. And if every time I'm getting in the car and I'm going, did you hear what so-and-so said that was messed up? Or Yeah, this really bothered me. Or Oh my God, that chicken was disgusting. Even like something trivial like that. Yeah, that's not embodying a positive person. Obviously it's okay to complain every once in a while, but am I doing that more than I am? Like, wow, I just love her. You know? Yeah. Or, gosh, that meal was delicious. You know, like just. It's all, it, it always makes me think of how people always leave bad reviews, but don't take the time to leave positive ones. Yes. It's, you know, I want, it's the same thing. Yeah. I want in my life to be, uh, everything that I do to be like, I want to leave more positive reviews than bad ones. So, yeah. You know, so that's one thing that I always, I always think of when I think of like a value is I just want to be like a gracious or. Grateful. Mm-hmm. Positive, happy, like person, you know? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think for me, the ones that came to mind immediately that I've been like having to actively choose kind of thing is I think of myself as well. I like to think of myself. I'm still working on it, but I like to think of myself as like someone who shows up, like when it's important kind of thing. Yeah. And. Especially with being pregnant, it's such an easy excuse to not, or to be like, I'm really tired. Like I don't really feel that good. So I'm really trying not to do that. Mm-hmm. And like, honestly, with, with being pregnant, I've. I've really done well on like boundaries with myself of being like, okay, I, no, I'm not gonna plan too many things'cause I won't wanna go to these kind of things. So instead I'm not doing that so that I don't have to cancel. But it's like been a really big thing for me that I'm like, okay, I wanna show up. I wanna show that. Like I'm still there for my friends, I'm still there for my family and like, honestly, like social outings are good for you. Mm-hmm. So I wanna make sure that I'm not just becoming like an in the house person. Yeah. Just because I'm. Pregnant and like gonna have a baby. And then another one that I really thought of immediately was I really pride myself in being a really good like wife and partner to Mason. Yeah. And I think it's really easy in this stage of life that I'm in right now to really only focus on my needs and my wants and how I'm feeling. Mm-hmm. But I've really had to also make sure that he's feeling loved and that he feels like I'm spending intentional time with him and that mm-hmm. Like, like that. He feels good too. And not just that, I feel good all the time. Yeah. So I think those are some values for me right now that I'm like having to really pay attention to and really make sure it lines up with what actions and decisions I am making. Yeah, definitely. So just thinking of some values that, or things that you say that you value and then looking at, okay, are the hards that you're choosing actually reflecting those values? And hopefully these reflection questions get narrow you to one area because that's kind of our first. Step. Yeah. On how to apply it is choosing one area. Because if you try to overhaul your whole life at once, you're gonna really struggle. Yeah. So pick one, maybe two max. Mm-hmm. Hard that you're really trying to overhaul, whether it's fitness or finances, like finances or marriage or, mm-hmm. Whatever it is, mental health, whatever it is, pick one and start there. Mm-hmm. And then do you wanna do step two? Yes. Step two is making it obvious. So once you have figured that out and figured out what your heart is and what the actions are that you wanna do, make it obvious. So write it down somewhere. Stick it to your mirror. Whatever it is, what is that hard thing that you wanna tackle? And what hard will come from it if you do not tackle it? Where will you be in six months if you don't choose that? So kind of really reflect on that and make it super obvious to yourself and put it somewhere. You will see it every day, and it can be your reminder and it can be your motivation to keep choosing that hard because you know that the other hard is harder. Yeah, definitely. And I feel like step three is the accountability piece. Yes. So tell a friend, tell DMS tell a partner. Tell Facebook honestly, like, Ooh, I know. For me that was a big part when I was first doing. Like my body coaching and stuff, when I was kind of like building that business, I had to, I mean, I had to put it out there. Mm-hmm. But also, if I didn't put it out there, I would, I wouldn't have felt that like sense of accountability to keep doing it. Yeah. If that, if that makes sense. So you, I mean, whatever form of accountability you need, like you, you find a way to. Make yourself accountable. Yeah. Because I feel like telling a friend or telling your partner, telling your family member, or even just telling Facebook or Instagram or whomever Yeah. Whatever social media you choose that is just kind of that extra little kick in the pants to actually start making the change. Yeah. And like you texted me whenever you, you were like, I woke up earlier. You know? And so I mean things like that tell like we, a lot of the times that you guys can be our form of accountability.'cause we sit on here and we're like. Yes, we need to do this. And hopefully next time we have an episode, I will have actually done that. You know, we did it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So tell somebody it really does make a difference. It does. Our fourth step is making it fun. Keep it super fun, super cute. So you can print off a cute image on Pinterest. You can make something on Canva that you said as your phone background or something like that. You can. Yeah, write something, put it on your mirror. I have my like 12 habits that I, or my eight daily habits that I try to do every morning. Uhhuh have it on my mirror and I see it every single morning while I brush my teeth. I also have a cute little picture of me and John on the mirror too. Oh, sweet. My brother John. And so I look at that every morning while I brush my teeth and I say, oh, that's so nice. And then. It's like a good kick in the pants kind of thing. But yeah, make it fun and set up a celebration of, oh, I like this idea. Setting up a celebration of your progress for like one week to one month out acknowledgement, whether that's like journaling or taking physical pictures or something like that. But yeah, whatever's gonna keep you motivated and keep the fun in it. Yeah, I feel like making it fun is a really. Under undervalued part. Yeah. Of making a change. Yeah, because like,'cause we're all, you know, we're grinding and we're choosing the hard and like, so it has to be really hard. But it also like hard things can be fun too. Like Yeah, we can. Sometimes honestly, like I don't wanna make dinner. Making dinner is hard, but I can make it more fun by listening to some music or something like that, you know? So figure out what that heart is and just make it a little bit more fun. And I do, I feel like this almost could be like a step five is like celebrating your progress. I had put it in the make it fun part. Yeah. But like celebrate your progress. And you could even put on the calendar, like for you, waking up earlier, put a two week. Saturday or not, maybe not Saturday, but like two, two week, two weeks from now, like on a Friday. Uhhuh you after work, you do something special. Yeah. If you stuck. If you stuck to waking up, getting up, waking up at seven. Yeah, in the morning every day for two weeks. Mm-hmm. You're gonna celebrate that and you're gonna give yourself a little reward for that. Like, whether, whether that's going to a little happy hour with Mason, getting a mocktail or whatever, or yeah. Whether that is like buying yourself some cute new sunglasses or like something, you know, something fun like that. So yeah, put some, like put something on the calendar for a progress celebration, uhhuh, and don't forget that every little. Step that you make is huge. Yeah. So yeah, celebrate the wins. No, absolutely. I actually just had this idea come up this week, so I think my hard and my focus is going to be, I don't know if I, you tell me how you feel about this, but I think it's gonna be my procrastination of tasks. Hmm. I think that is my hard, and I think about the tasks I have to do every day. When I see the papers sitting on the counter, I'm like, oh, but I just choose to ignore it. But then I think about it and then Mason says, oh, did you ever do anything with that? I'm like, no. And then I get anxious about it. So like my social security, for example, my, I need to update my passport. There's this tax thing that I have to do where it's saying I didn't pay taxes in 2021. And I'm like, yes, I freaking did. All I have to do is send the proof that I did it. I just haven't. And so I think that's gonna be mine is procrastination of tasks. And I just told Mason before we even had this idea that I want to, because I know I cannot get it all done back to back. Yeah, I know. I can't do it. I, I just physically cannot. So I wanna put like a piece of paper, put it on my wall and every piece of paper to have one of the hard tasks that I have to do. Nice. And then like number them, like on the bottom, like one through six or whatever, Uhhuh. And then once a month, at the beginning of the month, I wanna roll a dye. See what number I get. That's the task I'm doing for that month. Like there you go. That makes it fun. Exactly. I think it would be fun. It also makes me accountable because it's on my wall. Mason knows about it. It also makes it obvious. It's right there. Makes it obvious. Yeah. And I actually really wanna start doing that because I'm like. There's too many tasks that I put off because it's so hard to do it. Yeah. Although sometimes it's not even hard. Sometimes it's an email. It's just like a manual thing. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't do it, but I have to do it. I have to do it. I love that. No, I think that's a great idea. Thank you. Thank you. Well, those are all of our genius ideas with how to narrow your focus on. Which hard you wanna focus on, and then how to actually do that in some fun tactical tips and tricks. Mm-hmm. About that. So hopefully listening to us talk a little bit about our hards that we're leaning into will help you think of yours. And if you wanna share with us, please do. We'd love to hear what hard you're choosing. DM us on Insta and let us know. Mm-hmm. And also always. Please remember to leave us a rating and a review if you are, if you haven't already. It really does help us a lot. Yes, we haven't said that in a while, but it does help us a lot, so we'd appreciate it and share with a friend. Send it right over after you've left your rating and review copy and send it to a friend and be like, Hey, I really liked this episode, and it's a really great way of accountability. So you could tell them like. I decided I'm finally, I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm gonna start working out three times a week or, yeah, I'm gonna start walking after lunch every day at work. I'm gonna start meal prepping. Yeah, I'm gonna start meal prepping. I'm gonna get my name changed, like whatever it is. Yes. Send it to your friend and they can hold you accountable. Yes. Oh, I have fun with this episode. I feel like there's a fire under me now and I'm ready to go home and write the things down. I have to do Woohoo. Get the, the dice situation set up, get the dice started. It's already May 10th today, so it'll be May something by the time this comes out. So if you're listening, ask me if I've done it. The answer will be yes. Alright. Well love you guys. Thank you for tuning in every week with us and we can't wait to talk to you next week. Cheers. Cute fun. I love our blue and pink. I know. Yeah. It looks like, uh, a boy and girl. Yeah, it does. I love