52: [How-To] Being Partners with Your Partner

Welcome to the Fill Your Cups Podcast! Today is a fun episode talking about how to be partners with your partner. I think that life can get the best of us sometimes and we forget to prioritize our partner relationships and we forget that relationships should be fun!

We hope you enjoy this episode! If you have your own ways that you prioritize being partners with your partner, we want to hear them!

As always, share this with someone who will benefit from it!

CHEERS!

Transcript

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Welcome to the Fill Your Cubs podcast. We're your hosts, Morgan and Bailey. Hey guys. Welcome to today's episode. We are doing a how to episode today. Yes. And this one's kind of been on our list for a little while, but it's how to be partners with your partner. Mm-hmm. And I'm just really excited about that. I feel like. That's something that I really intentional, is that a word prioritized and may been intentional about? I feel like intentional should be a word I, well, it's something that I've really done intentionally. Should It should be, yeah. It's something I've really done intentionally and just something that I feel really strongly about and so yeah, it's been on our list for a while and we were like, we should do that one today. Yeah, keep it kind of fun. Keep it kind of light, but then also keep it important and tell you guys what like. Ways and tips and how we can help you guys do that. Yeah. So hopefully for those of you that are in a partner, like have a partner right now, this is helpful for you. And even for those of you that are single and working on finding a partner, hopefully this will be helpful for you to kind of store in the back of your brain for later. Yeah. And it can also be things that you look for. Yeah. Like whenever you're looking, like if you don't have these kind of things that we're gonna talk about or like these. Tips and tricks that we are gonna talk about. They don't seem like something that you could have with that partner. Maybe move on. Yeah, exactly. Yes. So we do have a shout out for, oh wait, before shout out what's filling your cup today? I've got a Sonic Dr. Pepper with cherry. Oh. And then I've also got water. This is kind of troll of me, but it's Sunday when we're recording and I went to Chick-fil-A. Forgot it was closed. And I was like, ah, crap. So then I went to souk instead and just got like some tater tots. But um, yeah, that's what's filling my cup. What's healing your cup? I just have water again. I'm been on a water kick when we've recorded these episodes lately. But yeah, drank a lot last night. So didn't, didn't need much more this morning. Need the hydration now. Yes, exactly. Yeah. I love it. Well, we do have a shout out as well. We almost every Friday now put up like a, what's filling your cup on this Friday kind of thing. What do have you been calling it? Fill your cup Fridays. Fill your cups Friday. Fill your cups Friday. Our On our Instagram. Yes. On our Instagram. And we got a response from Shaylynn McKenzie, our friend Shaylynn. Yes. Which we're so sad'cause we share the responses, but we didn't see this one in time. Yeah. So we didn't get to share it, but here it is. My shout out. Her answer to what was filling her cup that week was her 20 week ultrasound with her baby boy. And we are so happy for you. I know. I checked in with you and you said everything went. Perfectly, and he is looking so good and so healthy, and so I'm so happy for you, and I know that that's such an exciting ultrasound appointment, so Woohoo. Yeah. You, you just had yours like a week before that. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're literally a week apart. I know. That's crazy. Isn't it? Wild? It's so funny. Someone will ask me like, oh, like how far along are you? And she'll be, she's this week and this week, and I'm like, that's true. Sometimes she'll gauge it off of, she'll be like, okay, Bailey's this much, which means that I'm this much. Yeah. It's so funny. Yeah. She's like, she turned on Tuesday. I turn on Friday, so whatever happens. I love it so much. Well, I dope. It's super fun. Very. Fun and exciting and so excited for you guys. I'm also excited for, we wanted to remind you all to save the date for June 8th. We are having our one year birthday party of the podcast, and we are gonna do it at the Electric Garden Park in Jay Rieger. Yes. So you can grab food, grab drinks. We're gonna have some little activities and things that you can participate in and just. Have fun with us and celebrate with us one full year of the podcast. We're so excited and we could not do it without our listeners, so please join. Please come and enjoy with us. Yes, if you have any additional questions on that or anything like that, just text us, DM us. We can let you know. Absolutely. Yeah. I also wanted to give a quick reminder that we are doing a book club episode today, which will be coming out in like a week or two. I don't know, and or maybe it already can at all. It'll already be out. Okay. Well we did a book club episode and I just wanna remind you guys that we do our monthly book club episodes.'cause you'll hear us talk about book club all the time. So if you're like, I wish I was a part of that, or I wish I had a book club, join our virtual one and you can listen to those episodes. And then reminder as well that we are also on YouTube. Yes, absolutely. Awesome. We wanna get into the episode for the day. Well, let's dive right in. Cool. Well, I know that you are the one that came up with this topic, so do you wanna kind of tell them what, why it was on your brain or how it came to mind? Yes. I wish I could remember exactly what it was. Okay. Wait, I just remembered it was whenever we were doing our football girlies episode. Oh, fun. And I really only care about football because Mason cares about football. Right. Otherwise, I don't care. But it's something that he cares so much about that I just started like almost kind of. Incorporating it. Yeah, but what's it called? Whenever you are like, oh yeah, tell me more. Like, you're like, I don't care, but I'll like entertain it kind of thing. Like Oh, indulging them. Indulging, yes. Yes. I just started indulging him about, and like, he just became such like a kid when he talks about it and like when he talks about sports. So I'd be like, oh really? And like, what's this guy do? And, oh, what's, what's this position do? And I joined their football fantasy team and stuff like that. And so I feel like whenever we did that episode, I was like. It's just a fun reminder to just be partners with your partner and like be friends with them. Mm-hmm. And it doesn't always have to be like, life happens and your partner is your partner because they're helping you get through life. Mm-hmm. And I fully, strongly believe that, but I think that we forget that it can also be so fun. Yeah. And. And so that's how I came up with the idea of like how to be partners with your partner. Mm-hmm. And we'll go both ways with it. We're not telling you to, you know, oh, get into all your husband's hobbies. Like, that's not the case. There's so many hobbies of Mason's that I'm like at Kick rocks. I'm not, I'm not getting into that one. And then there's so many hobbies of mine that he's like, I would never do that, but. There are, I don't know, there's just a lot of things that I thought we could talk about, about being partners with your partner and just living a happier, more fulfilled like relationship life, and so that's kind of why I thought about it, I guess. Yeah, I talk, I feel like I talk about this a lot with mine and Jared's relationship that I, sometimes I get so nervous because. I'm not saying that divorce isn't the right option mm-hmm. In some people's lives, but I get so nervous because I value our marriage so much and I love him so much and I don't want that for us. Yeah. And sometimes I look at him and I'm like. We're, we're coming up on nine years, married this July. Yeah. And 14 years together in October. Mm-hmm. And I look at him and I'm like, what day am I gonna look at you and want a divorce? Like, it just stresses me out. Oh yeah. You know, but I think that because I have that fear and I don't want a divorce. Right. But because I have that fear, it, it moves me into action of. Of creating ways that staying connected and Yeah, staying connected. And I just, and I think the reason that it's a fear for me is because you hear it all the time. Yes. That, oh, we just fell out of love, or we just woke up like. We woke up one day, the kids were gone, which we won't have kids, but mm-hmm. The kids were gone and we realized we don't have anything in common anymore, or Yeah. We just, yeah. We just felt, grew apart. It's almost like the norm. Yes. Like it is not normal to see parents who are still married. Yeah. Or old couples who are still together or have been with their spouse for years. Yeah. Like, it's almost not the norm.'cause I get scared about that too, like. I'll watch a movie and they are divorced and they hate each other or they're still married, but like live totally different lives. Yeah. Someone's cheating and I'm like, is this just bound to happen to everybody? Like yes. It's scary. Yeah. Or you hear about like, I know you guys aren't planning to have kids, but like we are. And I think that's something I think about a lot too of they're all, there always seems to be resentment. Yeah. And there always seems to be like someone's too stressed out. Someone's the default parent and. It just, it's scary. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh my God, how can we avoid that? Yeah. How can we not get there? Even though like, now we love each other so much, but like, what if in 10 years, like we do wake up and that happens? Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. I wanna avoid it as much as possible. Yeah. Oh, something that Mason and I talk about is. We, I think people forget why they love each other and they fall out of love. Yeah. Just because, yeah. They forget how good it can be. And that's something we talk about a lot where we're like, yeah, well, because there's just so many other things in life to focus on and pay attention to and spend your, spend your time and attention on. And yeah, they just, they can distract from it. And especially like you said, when you have kids or when you have honestly just anything that is taking up a lot of time and attention, it's really easy to. Neglect that. Mm-hmm. It becomes such a back burner. Yeah. Because that person's always there, you know, you can always spend time with them. They live with you. Yeah. You know, or you can always, it, it's just one of those things that can fall as not a priority. Yeah. And. I, yeah, I just think it's really easy to fall into that. And like you said, you see examples of it all the time, so it's, even though I don't love fear to be a motivator for me. Mm-hmm. Like I want, I want to be motivated out of true altruism or love, or like Yeah. Be motivated for, you're like being proactive. Yeah. I wanna be motivated for good reasons, but Uhhuh, but honestly that being honest with yourself about that is really something that. It's like what we were talking about with choosing your hard. Mm-hmm. You know, that is a hard, that I really, really don't wanna face later down the road. Yeah. And what I want most is more than what I might want now, which is maybe not putting effort into it or something. Mm-hmm. And so it's so that fear is kind of the motivator to be proactive and be intentional and really keep it a priority. Yeah, I completely agree. That actually leads us into our first. Kind of tip or how to, whenever you said you have to kind of be honest with yourself. Mm-hmm. You also need to be honest with your significant other. We talk about this all the time, about how honest conversations are hard telling each other how you feel is hard. Yeah. But it's so important and in it, like, I don't think that you can have a healthy relationship without actually being honest about where you're at in life, where you're at with them, what you need from them. And it's so hard. It's so awkward. You never know how the other person's gonna react, things like that. But you have to start with that, I think. Yeah, I think that this is something that I actually. I'm working on because I've told you this and I hope you don't mind me sharing, but I've told you that you and my friend Kristen are both really good about this, about being honest when you want something specific or Yeah. Or you just want something in general. Yeah. And like Mother's Day, for example, you. Told me, or I don't know if you wanna tell them like what you told Mason. Oh yeah. I mean, it's obviously my first Mother's Day, and so I had told Mason at the store one day. I was like, Hey, I don't know if you're thinking about Mother's Day, but like, have you planned anything? And he was like, uh, not specifically, like, what are you talking about? And I was like, that's fine. Like that. That's okay. And I was like, but I do want something and here are some ideas of things that I would want or, yeah. And I like didn't wanna plan out. The day or anything like that, Uhhuh. But I was just like, we could go to brunch, we could get pedicures. You could give me a necklace like with her name on it. That one didn't work.'cause we don't know her name yet. Um, but like, I just gave him a bunch of ideas and I was like, but I do want something. Yeah. So start thinking about it. And so, and, and I'm glad that I did because had I not, I would've woken up on Mother's Day expecting something and he wouldn't have known that at all. Yeah. Because he's never had a first Mother's Day with me. Yeah, exactly. And some, I mean, some. Or in some cases Mason might have thought of that on his own. Yeah. But it, but clearly he hadn't. Mm-hmm. And it was an expectation that. It was an expectation that you communicated Yeah. Rather than an uncommunicated expectation that he didn't, he failed to meet without even knowing. Yes. Because you can't read your mind. Yes. You know, and so I, you and my friend Kristen are really good, I think, in your relationships with doing that. Mm-hmm. And it always, it inspires me to be more that way with Jared. Mm-hmm. Because I don't think it's my gut or my, like gut impulse. It's not my, mm-hmm. It's just not an instinct of mine to be like, this is what I want. Doesn it come as naturally and, yeah. Yeah, because I think that, I think part of it is also being a two, like on the Enneagram, if you guys know what Enneagram is, if you don't check our episode out. Yeah. It's in, I'm an Enneagram too, which is the helper, and I think that, and actually bitterness and resentment are some things that are common for that in the brand type, but I think because. My innate drive is to, or like the thing that I do the most mm-hmm. Is focus on others and try to provide them with what they need. Yeah. And focus on their feelings and whatnot. That sometimes I don't realize that I need to do that for myself too. Mm-hmm. And so it just doesn't come naturally to me. Mm-hmm. But I feel like. I, I shared that exact Mother's Day thing with Jared, and he was like, as a man, I love that, like that. And I actually really respect that because sometimes you don't know the expectation and then you failed when you didn't even know that there was like, yeah. You failed without even being given a chance. Yeah. You know, and so I, so hearing that too, from his perspective of being like, actually I would, I really prefer that Uhhuh, I was like. So it's not, it's not being needy and it's not being clingy and it's not being, I want bending and Yeah. It's just simply, and they, you know, like Kristen said this, but about another example she was talking about, but she was like, I mean, and they're adults. They could choose not to do it still. Yeah. Like they still have a choice. Yeah. It's just that now you're giving the, it's almost like. Informed consent. Yeah. When you talk about like medical things or whatever, it's like give them all the information before they have, like they say yes or no, you know? Yes. And so, yeah. So I just really, I really love this point and I, it's something that I'm working on a lot. Mm-hmm. And I feel like maybe men struggle with this too. I feel like we're probably talking to more ladies here. Yeah.'cause I do think that women, a lot of the time. Subvert their needs or their wants more than men. Yes. It's, it's like I said, not as natural to just be like, well, this is what I want. Mm-hmm. Because women, quite honestly, for a long time in cul in our culture, have been shown that when they do that, it's naggy or it's Yes. Demanding or it's needy or clingy or mm-hmm. High maintenance uhhuh, you know, and really, I don't think it is. I'll also say that. That me expressing my needs and wants has not always been natural. Mm-hmm. I feel like for a long time I actually did not ever say what I wanted or what I needed just to, you know, keep the peace just to look like a cool mm-hmm. Relaxed girlfriend. Like I never wanted to be too much, because I think that's what society says it is, is like you're being too much whenever you're asking for like the base or like the baseline, the bare minimum. Yeah. But. Over time and I, I feel like it probably just started once Mason and I just started being really honest with each other and like, I started really standing up for like what I wanted and blah, blah, blah. But I feel like that's kinda where it started for me. So it has not always been natural. Mm-hmm. But now it's a lot easier because conversations like that,'cause we've been doing it for a while now, Mason's not like, like, oh that's kind of a lot. Or like, well I was already gonna do that, like. It's now just him being like, okay, yeah, I like it, and then we can kind of go from there. Yeah. I don't know. I think once you get in the groove of it too, it just becomes refreshing. It's, yeah, it's just, it feels easier. Mm-hmm. Just open. Yeah, just like an open conversation. Yeah. I like that, so. Mm-hmm. I love that step. I also think that it could be important to tell each other what you need. From each other to be fulfilled. So this is part of the honest conversations too, of, yes, this one was like for a Mother's Day thing, but let's say that you are feeling really run down or you're feeling really stressed out that day or, or you're feeling good and you're like, I kind of like this is kind of the energy I need from you right now. Or like, this is kind of the things that I need. I think that that is really important because. Like we said, like your partner can't read your mind honestly, either way. Even though I do think that women are more in tune with what's going on. Yeah. And we can kind of be like, okay, I think this is how you're feeling a bit. Yeah. But we can't read each other's mind either way. So I do think that being honest about what you're needing from them in that moment of like being like, Hey, I'm really stressed out. I've got this on my list, this on my list. I'm taking the kids here. Like here's everything I got going on. Can you kind of. Take half that or, mm-hmm. Like when I get home, can you make sure you have this ready for me?'cause I don't wanna have to do that. Sometimes I'll call Mason on the way home from work and I'm like, I'm starving. Will you please put this in the air fryer or whatever. Yeah. And he's like, yeah. And so, I don't know. I just think being honest about what you need from each other to succeed. Yeah. Is really important. I like that a lot. And I have a quick anecdote before we go on to step two. Yeah. But I realized last weekend. The, or I actually think it was, I went grocery shopping for our tailgate and I just ran after donating because I was already out and I stopped and whatever. And then when I got home, I don't know why, but like carrying the groceries in is my least favorite part. Grocery shopping. Yeah. And I got home and I realized I was all, I was like, happy go lucky, whatever. At price shopper. And then when I got home, I was in such a irritable mood carrying the groceries in, and then I realized that for the last four weeks, like Jared and I usually grocery shop together. Mm-hmm. But the last four weeks, every Sunday I've done the grocery shopping by myself, Uhhuh, and I realized. That I was like, I need to ask him to do the grocery shopping with me next time. Uh, because I think that I like some resentment is building uhhuh. They're like, oh, these are freaking heavy. And I'm like, like I always do this, whatever. And which isn't even true Uhhuh like the last month it has been. And mostly it's just'cause how our schedule has been. Yeah. And, and I was like. Okay. I actually need to this, I can feel myself being irritated toward him and building this up, and he has no idea. Yeah. So I need to just tell him like, Hey, can you either do the grocery shopping or go with me Uhhuh? Because for whatever reason, we just kind of haven't done it in the last month. But yeah, that was something that when I was looking at this episode, I was like, yeah, that's something that I realized, but. I don't know. I think sometimes little things like that, it's not as natural for you to realize that you need to just ask them to like, help. Yeah. Or, or address that if you're not in the pattern of it. So yes, starting, starting with little things like that, just like acknowledging how you're feeling and being honest that, I don't know, sometimes it's, sometimes you don't wanna face the fact that you. Don't wanna grocery shop alone or whatever. Like, because then you think that it's like, oh, it's needy, or something like that. Uhhuh. And I should, I should, you know, like you feel like you're less valuable or something like that, or Oh yeah, you're just so needy or whatever. Yeah. But it's like being honest with yourself about that and then being honest with your partner is gonna go, is gonna get you way further. Yeah. And what was Jared's response? You said, Hey, will you come with me next time? I, uh, haven't told you. Oh, that was yesterday. That was yesterday, or the day before. Oh, well, I guarantee his response is gonna be. Oh yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure he's probably gonna be like, yeah, it just, it just didn't work out for our schedule the past couple times, but yeah, of course. Yes. Yeah, exactly. That's funny. I love that. Well, yes, that one is super important. It's kind of hard to get there, but once you get there, it makes your life in relationship so much better. Step number two, or not even, these aren't even steps. Yeah, these are just, just tips. Tips I guess. But tip number two, I really like this one is setting goals together. Mm-hmm. So we are huge about habits and accountability and. Setting goals and things like that. And we always talk about having an accountability partner. Mm-hmm. And I feel like for a lot of people, that is gonna be their significant other. Mm-hmm. Because they're just around 24 7. But what if we took it one step further and included them in whatever type of goal you have set for yourself? Mm-hmm. Yeah. We did goal setting at the new year and like checked in on it a little bit too, Uhhuh, but on the different. Things that we've, that we set at the beginning of the year. Yeah. But also after our Choose Your Heart episode on our walk the other day. I did ask Jared, like, in six months, what would you be really disappointed about? If it was the same? And that was a great question. And yeah. And so asking questions like that, that are directed at their goals too. I think it, yeah. Yeah. It just, it's a connection point. Yeah. And like being a part of it and being like, how can I help you get there? What can I do to support you and blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. I think that Mason and I are really lucky'cause we have a lot of similar interests and similar hobbies and like very similar personalities. Mm-hmm. So when one of us has a goal that we wanna kind of set, so like. At the beginning of last year, not this year,'cause I'm pregnant. No, but at the beginning of last year it was like, oh yeah, we wanted to get fit and like we wanna start going to the gym. So we always went to the gym together and it was after I got off of work. Which didn't work perfect for him. Mm-hmm. But I was like, this is the only time that kind of works for me. And so we made it work and we would go to the gym and only have one headphone in so that way we could still talk uhhuh and we could still like have a good time together. And then we would walk together at the end and have no headphones in and just talk the whole time. Mm-hmm. And that was like our favorite part of every gym trip.'cause we're like, wow, the treadmill goes so fast. Like. When we're just gabbing and chitchatting. Yeah. And so I always think of that one as setting goals together of like something that Mason and I set together and then it was just so much fun achieving it together. Yeah. And like making it happen together. Yeah, definitely. And I think that if one of your goals is to be more active or something like that, it doesn't even have to necessarily be going to the gym. No, that's a good example. But it could be. Going on walks or mm-hmm. Joining like a rec league. Like we have our vol vol, yeah. Rec volleyball league. Yeah. And, you know, join joining some kind of league like that. I mean, yeah. There, there's a lot of recreational leagues. You don't have to be good No. To join. So that could be something that even if neither of you. Have a particular sport that you really like or something like that. If one of your goals is to be more active, then you can do that. And I see people bring their kids all the time to our rec league. Me too. I always love it. That is like, I'm gonna do that. Yes, I agree. I feel like, yeah, that's like one big goal that you can set together. One that we had in our relationship again was we. Set up like a book club. But we like would read a book every month together, just one book and we would switch on and off. So like, I like books actually. We kind have very similar interests in books too, but it is starting to get different. Mm-hmm. He's starting to go one way and I'm like, I'm not going that way. We like alternate who's choosing the book for that month, and then we read it and then we go out and like we've gotten a glass of wine together or we've got an app somewhere. We've gone to a coffee shop, we've done it at home. Mm-hmm. It's just really fun. And then you just have a whole night dedicated to each other that you're talking about this book and mm-hmm. It, it was like a super fun goal that we both set for each other. Yeah. Yeah. I would say that. I do notice that you and Mason have similar interests or just similar personalities and I don't think that Jared and I are necessarily that way naturally. Yeah. But I do feel like that's, we form connection points with things like that. Like, well, we are on the same rec volleyball team, but we also, we like very different things in books. And Jared recently read Accord Words and Roses. Yes. For me, and I've been reading this brander, Brandon Sanderson novels. Kind of for him, you know, like we're reading each other's interests and a lot of the time, you know,'cause he likes video games and my like, that's his biggest pastime and my biggest pastime is reading. Yeah. And so a lot of the time I'll just do that in the same space as him. Yes. So that we can still chat if we want to or Yes. You know, we're still near each other, you know? Mm-hmm. So spending that time together. Yeah. And he is a big quality time person. I'm less so like It does, it's not. As big a deal to me, same for me. Yeah. But he's a big quality time person, so it does. Help whenever I, you know, go down to where he gains and Yeah. Am in the same space as him. Yeah. We do the same thing. My favorite hobby is watching tv. Mason hates it because he cannot sit still. Yeah. So I like watching TV and he'll be gaming or something like that. Or like, while I feel like gaming is also like his biggest. Pastime kind of thing. It probably is for a lot of guys their age. I think so too. I would love to be a gamer. I really would. I always say if Mason would change one thing about me, it'd probably be that, or that I like to seafood. Yeah, I could see that. Right? Yeah. I've tried, but I'm just not, I just don't like'em that much. I, I feel like if you didn't grow up playing games, I like video games, Uhhuh, then it, it's not something you're gonna be into as an adult. Yeah. I played some but not, yeah. I didn't really love it. Yeah. Our friend Chelsea, she and her husband, they play, they game together all the time. They've got their like headsets and stuff. It's so cute. It's really cute. Yeah. I love it. But I'm pretty sure she got into it because of him. So that's another example of like if they have an interest that you might be in, like try it out. You know? Maybe. Maybe you'll love it. Maybe you'll love it more than they do. Yeah. Yeah. And it goes both ways. We're not telling you to just only get into your husband ho hobbies. We want them to get into yours as well. Yeah. But you do have to be honest about. What you're wanting them to join you for. And you have to ask and yeah. And they do have to be willing. So if you kind of married an asshole, I'm really sorry, but I'm just kidding. Yeah. I feel like another way that they can incorporate into your life though, is each other's families or friends or whatever. Yes. You know, and, and again, this goes back to our first tip about being honest with them. I feel, I don't feel like I had to necessarily tell Jared this because he kind of grew up with my family. Yeah. You know, the same. Yeah. So I mean, 14 years. Yeah. Yeah. We, we kind of grew up with each other's families, so it was just innate that we spend time with each other. Yeah. But we, but I do think that being honest with your partner and being like, Hey, it's really important to me that you get to know my siblings. Yeah. Or that you. Get to know the partners of the people in my book club or like something like that. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, Hey, these friends are really important to me. I really would appreciate it if you'd spend some time with them. Or you know, if you're always spending only individual time with them because you don't wanna ask your partner to come along with you. Yeah. Then that's a sign that you probably need to be honest and communicate with them. Mm-hmm. And, and if you like spending time individually with them, that's fine. Mm-hmm. But it is just another connection point that I feel like can build into your. Partnership and make you, and I don't know, like I love, I love when we hang out with our siblings and our partners. Like I love hanging out with just sisters. Mm-hmm. But it is so fun to me to see. Friendships between our partners as well. Yeah. And to even hear my sisters talk to Jared and you know, Mason talk to us and stuff and like have connection points there. It just, yeah, I, I guess it just makes your relationship that much more cohesive. I completely agree. And yeah, I think it's important to see each other putting in the effort with each other's families. I think that, or I think that. Sometimes in-laws can be hard and definitely like these are not fam For you and Jared, it is like it. I was gonna say, these are not families that you grew up with. For you guys it kind of is, but still like the Blood Family connection or like. Family connections not fully there. Sure. But you have to make an effort mm-hmm. To put it there. So like if your in-laws, if they are huge movie people and they watch movies when you go over there instead of being on your phone the whole time, watch the movie. Yeah. If your in-laws are huge game people like say that you'll be a part of the game. Participate. Yeah. I just think that that's really important because the family sees that you're doing it. Mm-hmm. Which is always good. No one likes someone who's like sitting out or, yeah. Like. I don't know, kind of being like a sour post about it. Yeah. I don't know if you can say that. Is that a bad word? Sour post? I, so, okay, cool. Um, and no one likes a sour puss and so I just think, yeah, I think it's really important to incorporate each other's families and to put in the effort on both sides. Yeah. And I know for some people they're not that close with their families, so it might not be their families. It might be. Friend. A friend group that you've known for a long time or something like that. Yeah. Or your church, small group or something like that, you know, and you're like, honestly, this is really important to me that you know these people Yeah. And that they feel like you're making an effort with them. And so, yeah, I feel like, and I feel like you and Mason do a really good job with that on both sides. Yeah. And And honestly, I feel like Jared and I do too. Mm-hmm. And there have been times though, where I've had to tell Mason like, Hey. I feel like you weren't in a great mood. Yeah, and it kind of brought me down. Yeah. Or like where he is had to tell me like, Hey, I'm kind of sad that you didn't come to this party. Yeah. Like it kind of made me upset and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry I didn't, I didn't realize I'll be, I'll make sure to be at the next one. Like, yeah. There have been times where we have to be like, I didn't like it. Yes. But yeah, there have been times when we've had like a family night or something where I've told Jared, Hey, we're having this. It's not a big deal to me if you don't come tonight since we've done a lot this weekend. Yes. Or something like that. But then there are other times where I'm like, Hey, we're having family night tonight. Normally I would, I would tell you, you have the option of going or not. Mm-hmm. But I really want you there. Yeah. I feel I. I'm drained or something. Just having the extra support Yeah. Would be nice. And like doing it together. You Yes. Being honest. Yeah. Yeah. I love that one. Me too. Mm-hmm. Our last little tip mm-hmm. Is having fun together. I think people forget how to have fun together when life takes over and it does. That is life. But you have to continue to have fun together. Definitely. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that. I, I know that you and Mason do this a lot, but it doesn't necessarily have to be going out and like always doing date nights or things like that. I think those are really important. Like don't let date night slip off the calendar. Yeah. At least once a month. Yeah. It needs to happen, you know, and I know everybody's in different phases of life and it can be. Easier said than done, but it is so important. But I know like you and Mason personality wise, you guys love going and doing things. Yeah. And kind of being spontaneous and doing stuff outside the house, and I think Jared and I are a little bit more homebodies, but you can still have fun being like in either. Personality. Yeah. I guess, you know, and so I even if it's like we've talked about our patio, happy hours or whatever. Yeah. Talked about doing that in the summer and just making the patio fun and going out. Mm-hmm. Like having a drink or something like that. Mm-hmm. Things like, things like that, like you can incorporate into your time together. And I think also having like a phone free. Time. We have been doing that lately on our date nights. Nice. And we love it. I think it's more for Mason'cause I don't ever really even get on my phone'cause I've got like three friends. But he has been really loving it. That's awesome. Yeah. I, I also, am I, okay, let's start over. I feel like I can fall into the. Abyss of my phone, I guess. Yeah. Because I,'cause I, I do text a lot of people. Mm-hmm. And I'm on Instagram and I'm on all the things. Mm-hmm. So, and then like an hour can pass and I'm like, oh my gosh, I've just been on my phone. Mm-hmm. But I do feel like setting aside certain times to do phone free, we do Thursday night dinners at the table. Oh. And I always say I am like, we probably should eat at the, at the table more often, but we just do Thursdays Uhhuh. And so we eat at the table. But also, Jared, at some point, he was like. Okay. We're do for our Thursday night dinners, we're also no phones, so we put'em literally like in another room or whatever. I love it. And we just talk. Yeah. And I feel like doing that, you know, if you go on walks or things like that, just kind of not having your phone mm-hmm. Can be another way to have fun together. Yeah. And like, and like connect with each other. Yeah. Yeah. I really like that one. I think that some other ways you can have fun together is you can support them in the things that they're doing. So they are in, I know that Jared has a ton of friends who are in like a softball league for the guys Uhhuh. Yeah. And I know like a ton of the girlfriends go. They do and they go and they support and. It's important to do that. Yeah. And it's important to go and tear them on. Or like Julia, our sister just ran, not a marathon'cause I got clowned for that, but she, she did it like a, what was it, six mile run or something? Six K. A six K. She did a six K and her husband Nate went to watch and support and all she was doing was running laps around a track. Mm-hmm. But he was there to support and I think that that is really important to. Have fun with each other in that way. Yeah. Like supporting what they're doing, taking them along to what you're doing and just making sure that they know, or like making sure you know that you are important to each other. Mm-hmm. Is really important. Mm-hmm. I think that asking each other different kinds of questions. It is fun too. You can go on Pinterest and look at like questions to ask your partner. Like just fun little like thought experiments, like Yeah. Ooh. And or if, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Or things like that. Yeah, it's just like to ways. To think about things differently or whatever. Mm-hmm. That, that paired app that you brought up,'cause you were like, oh yeah, get the app that Morgan was talking about. Yes. I, we used to have this app, it's called Paired, P-A-I-R-E-D, and it literally is, I think the tagline or something is like. Reconnect with your partner or something like that. So it literally is like what we're talking about, but each, there's a question each day, and we used to be really good about it. I don't think we need it that much because Jared is a question asker, like just innately, he asks. Mm-hmm. Sometimes I, I'm like. Stop asking me questions because like, I can't think like this right now. Yeah. No, because sometimes on our walks it's either in the morning when I'm not firing on all cylinders, uhhuh, or it's in the e uh, after work when I'm like, I'm drained from work and I don't wanna like critically think, yeah, but, but we haven't used it in a while. But we were for a while opening the app and. Asking each other the, whatever the question of the day was. Uhhuh on the app. And the app also has little quizzes and stuff too, so we didn't always do those. But if it had the que like a question of the day, we would ask about that Uhhuh and they'd just be like, what? What would your ideal date be? Or like, things like that. Just random things. Uhhuh. And so it just spurred fun conversation. Yeah. And you, we would just talk about it on our. But the app is built so that you can each answer the question separately if you want. So you could use it that way. So I don't see his answer until I've answered, you know? Mm-hmm. But then we see each other's answer, and then we kind of compare them and you can talk about them or whatever. Yeah. Comment on them in the app. Yeah. But, but yeah, it's just a fun, that could be a great app, especially for if your life really is go, go, go, go, go. Maybe you've got like three kids and they're all in sports and you see your husband at night at bedtime. Mm-hmm. Like that could be a really great app to use that while he's on his lunch break, he answers, and while you're. I don't know, in the car doing drop off, you answer? Mm-hmm. Like I like that. Yeah. I like that idea a lot. I think that could be a really good way to stay connected and stay paired and just prioritize being best friends again. Mm-hmm. I think either getting back to being best friends or becoming best friends with your partner is important. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. I was gonna say another thing that you and Mason do. With the having fun together thing. Mm-hmm. I feel like a lot of the time, whenever you guys have tasks that you have to do Oh yeah. You either do them together or you make it fun somehow. Yep. And so I like, I always see whenever we do our monthly fill your cups reels, I, I feel like you always, if, if mason's like mowing the lawn or something, you're out there with a wine glass of Dr. Pepper or, or a wine glass of like non-alcoholic wine or something like that. Before it was a wine, glass of wine. Yeah. But, but yeah, it with Waylon or something, so. Mm-hmm. And I know like. You're just chilling, but he mm-hmm. I mean, you can see him and he can see you and whatnot. Yeah. So, and I know that you guys also do, like, when you have tasks, like, do you guys grocery shop together as well? Um, we do. So half the time, if we don't get to do it on Sundays, if it's a Sunday grocery shop, we always go to shop together. If we don't get to do it on Sundays, Mason will do it on Mondays and so then I'm not there. But make the list together. Yeah. And you've said that whenever, like he's mainly the cook and Yeah. Same for us. Jared. Mm-hmm. But, but you still a lot of the time are like in there with him while he's cooking and Yes. Yep. We do. This is a funny thing'cause it's a quality time thing, I think, and I'm not quality time at all, like mm-hmm. I really don't care. He's all quality time. So he'd be like, oh, I have to drop this book off at the library. And I'm like, okay, have fun. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like you, you're not coming with me. And I'm like, I don't really want to. And he is like, but baby, I'm like, come. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Or yesterday he woke me up'cause he was bored. It was like 9:00 AM and the first thing I said to him was, I am still sleeping. He's like, I know I didn't anything. And I was like, but you're going to. He was like, I. He was like, oh, I don't know, like, do you wanna go play at Golf Ranch? It was like a driving range and the way he got me was, he's like, we get coffee, we could get breakfast. And I was like, okay. But it's just like little fun things like that where I would. Never be like, oh, I'm coming. Yeah. But he's like, will you come? And I'm like, yeah, I'll come. Like, yeah, because you want me to. Yeah. And so I, I think that that's a fun thing. And honestly like for me, when, when I'm like, oh, okay, I wanna go get a quick snack, you don't have to come, like, you can stay here. And he's like, oh, okay. Sometimes he will stay. A lot of times he comes. Mm-hmm. But. It's like when he wants to go get a quick snack, I have to go. Yeah. Because he's like, no, this is important to me. But for me, I'm like, it's not important to me. Yeah. So I'm just gonna go get my ice cream. You could stay here. I don't know. I think it's a funny thing of that is funny. Like differences, but Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Well, I like that one. Yeah. So being honest, being a part of each other's lives and having fun with each other. Those are basically the. How to be partners with your partner. Yeah. There we go. Well, yeah, those are all the tips that I had. If you guys have some of your own tips or some of your own things that you really love about your relationship or if you are kind of on the opposite side where you're like, I'm not really sure how to start this. What's a good way? To like, how did you start doing that with Mason? How did you start doing that with Jared? Mm-hmm. Feel free to ask us and we are very honest people. Yeah. So we'll give you our honest answer. Or if we're still working on it, like you said earlier, like, I haven't told Jared yet. We'll, we'll tell you so come and ask us or tell us how. You are partners with your partner, we love to hear it all. Absolutely. Yes. And I think that you should share this episode with your partner and that's the first step. Yeah. And tell them that. Tell them what part of it spoke to you, or what thing you wanna start doing, or what you're gonna be working on or whatever. Mm-hmm. And be like, Hey, I wanna be besties. Yeah. It kind of reminds me actually that Jared used to a new podcast sometimes, right? Oh yeah. And like still does, and he'd be like, Hey, will you listen to this? Yes. And you do. Sometimes there are like two hours uhhuh and you can't maybe, or you say like, Hey, what's a part that is really important, right? Yeah. But like that's a great first step of getting into each other's interests, prioritizing each other. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Definitely. I like that. Well, I. And we'll see you next week. Cheers.