55: [Let's Get Deep] When You're Feeling Stuck

Feeling stuck in your career? Singleness? Weight loss? Finances? Business Ownership? Homebuying? ANYTHING?! This episode is for YOU!

In this episode, we are opening up about areas of our lives where we've just felt so STUCK. And then we're sharing small things that help us during these times. 

This episode is NOT meant to dismiss or diminish your feelings if you're down and frustrated with this "Messy Middle". But it IS meant to give you a big ole "same, girl" and then talk about little things we can control while we're in the middle to help us feel better or get out of that rut. 

As always, if you love this episode, please share it with a loved one!

CHEERS!

Transcript

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Okay. You ready? Yeah. Okay. 1, 2, 3. Welcome to the Fill Your Cups podcast. We're your hosts, Morgan and Bailey. Hey everybody. Welcome to our first Let's Get Deep episode. In a while, I feel like, yeah, like we haven't done one in a while. Maybe the last one was Choose Your Heart. I don't know. It was okay. Mm-hmm. I thought a month ago, but yeah. So we're gonna get d. In the, are you ready to get deep? Bailey hates it when I say that, but yeah. So we are gonna do some real talk. We're talking about kind of the messy middle, when you're stuck, when you're in between things and you're just like, oh my gosh, it's so annoying. This is draining. And what to do when you're there. So yeah, we'll get more into that. But before we do, what's filling the new cup today? Today I've got my trusty water like always, but I also cracked open a pib. Nice. I'm feeling crazy today. Woo. Crazy. What's filling your cup? Well, I already have my coffee and I'm just born. I have my water again. Delicious. Gotta have my water.'cause we're gonna boulevard later and Oh yeah, we need to hydrate before that. Yes ma'am. You do boulevard and karaoke fun. So today's shout out is kind of a funny story. So we put up our Fill Your cups Friday post, which we love when you guys respond there because. It gives us shout out content, but also we can literally like, thank you for participating by giving you a shout out. So yeah, I also just like seeing what everyone's been up to for the week. I'm like, oh, definitely, definitely. Especially if I've had like a lower week. I'm like, wow, that's really fun, you know? Yeah. I'm happy for them. So anyway, so Chloe Burish on Instagram. Mm-hmm. Responded to our failure cups Friday question and said. When we said, what's filling your cup this week? Mm-hmm. She said, my husband and I'm moving into our forever home today. Oh. So congratulations. Yes. Congratulations. And I said, this is kind of a funny story because I happen to see Chloe's sister McKenna, also one of our AVID listeners. So, hey, McKenna and I, you're listening. They, uh, she posted Chloe's. House on her Instagram story. Mm-hmm. And was like, let us, you know, share with people who are interested in buying. And it was in Lee's summit and Jared, I had just had a conversation with Jared's cousin's fiance, Carson Uhhuh, and talked with her about how they were looking. They've been having like such a hard time they've been putting in offers, but. They're getting, you know, beat out by people who are like full cash offers waiving inspections. Dude, it's rental houses that are doing it like rental companies because they can give all cash. It's insane and yeah, it sucks. It's insane. Yeah. And so they have been having a really hard time and she was telling me that she was pretty set on Lee Summit, like not any other city. They really wanted to stay on Lee Summit. Because of their work commute, all this stuff. Yeah, whatever. So I had just had a convo with her and I texted her that listing after McKenna posted it on her story, and I was like, Hey, no clue if you're interested in this house at all or not, but I know the owners, so if you do decide to go see it or even like get to an offer stage, I could text them and let them know. Let them know to keep an eye out for you. And she was like, oh my god, Morgan, we have a booking scheduled for, or like, we have a. What's it called when you go look a viewing? Yeah. We we're seeing the house this weekend, Uhhuh like in, in two days. And she was like, and we are kind of in love with it online. Oh. And I was like, oh my God. And so I texted Chloe and. Told her that, you know, Jared's cousin's looking at it, you know, so keep an eye out if they make an offer. And she was like, oh yeah, if they make, if they make an offer, definitely let me know Uhhuh and we'll, you know, see what we can do. Oh my gosh, whatever. And it was just like, boom, boom. One of those things where it happened so fast, yay. I told them, and then Carson was like. We put in an offer and I told them that they put in an offer and she was, and within the day, Chloe was like, so glad it worked out with your family. And I was like, cool. Oh my gosh. Like, congratulations Carson. Yeah. So congrats to Chloe. I'm pretty sure she's like moving right next door to her parents or something. Oh, that's nice. Doesn't that make sense? Yes, yes. That does make sense. Yeah, I love it. So anyway, a long shout out, but kind of a fun story. Yeah, that's a really fun story. And just reminder for all of our listeners that we love seeing your guys' responses. Yes. To the Fill Your Cups Friday. I feel like there's always something that we are able to be like, oh my God. Funny story. Like I know about that. True. I did that. That's so true. I have a connection with that. So we love seeing them and no, congratulations, Chloe. That is really exciting, especially with your forever home. Mm-hmm. That's so cool. Very excited for you. Absolutely. So onto the episode for today. Yeah. So I kind of thought of this episode, so, and I know a lot of our, let's get deep episodes are ones that. I kind of conjure up because I, maybe, I just feel I'm feeling real deep all the time. I don't know. Just feels so hard, so, so emotional. Yeah. And I'm like, let's apply to all that. Let's have fun. But the way that I thought of this episode, honestly really, I've been feeling stuck in some areas of life. Yeah. And I do think also I was started thinking about this'cause I was like, I do think also that this stage of life or kind of this. Later, twenties, early thirties stage. It's very possible that lots of our listeners are feeling this way in some of their life too. So I hopefully it's relatable, but just feeling stuck in something. So whether it's a job or like single hood, I know a lot of people are still trying to find their partner. Yeah. Or, or even like we just talked about the shout out. I know that a lot of people are feeling stuck right now in the home buying process. Yes.'cause it is so tough. Yes. And literally, Carson and Adam were telling me that whenever before this situation with Chloe. So I feel like it's really easy in this stage to get stuck.'cause there are lots of like big things that could be happening. Yes. And it gets frustrating when you feel like you're in between things, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like it's kind of like a waiting period and you're waiting on something else to happen. Uhhuh, you can't control what. Guys are interested in you. Mm-hmm. Or you can't control what offers other people are putting on houses. Yeah. You can't control if a job, if a job accepts your application or gives you an interview or something like that. Yes. So there are just so many of these things that I feel like it's really easy in this stage of life to get stuck. And I've been feeling that way in like some areas of my life. Yeah. And so I just thought we should talk about it. Yeah. No, I think that we definitely should, especially because. It's applicable to, I think both of us, like we're both in kind of waiting periods of our lives right now. Mm-hmm. And so it's definitely applicable.'cause I also think that it can be so frustrating, like waiting for the next step, but also not knowing what the next step is. Yes. Or like not knowing how to get there or being like, I mean, I feel like I'm trying. Yeah. And it's just not, nothing's moving. Yeah. And it can feel so frustrating. Yeah. Well, and honestly, I feel like I was saying this to you when I thought of the idea. Mm-hmm. But you're pregnant right now and I can't tell you how many times I've heard you say. I need to have this baby shower so that I know what items I still need to get. And you know, you're just in this in between stage and obviously you know the result's gonna be a baby. Yeah. But you have no idea what that's gonna look like. Oh my God, the result's gonna be a baby. And I'm like, that's crazy that there's a deadline and I need to speed this shit up. I'm like, oh my God, I need, like, I need everything to be solved before she gets here. Yeah. See, but you're like kind of in that frustrating waiting moment. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's good. There are good parts of the messy middle I would say. But it still, it still is anxiety inducing. Yes. It can sometimes feel draining. Yes. It can feel just like mental overload. Mm-hmm. So, absolutely. That's kind of why I wanted to talk about it. I feel like we want to talk about some examples of. The ways that we felt this or times that we've kind of been in that messy middle transition point, that sort of thing. Mm-hmm. Just so that, I don't know, I kind of sometimes with these, let's get deep episodes, I just want our listeners to feel like we're kind of like, yep. Been there. Yes, me too. You're not alone. Yes. And then talk about some of the practical mindset tools mm-hmm. That we can use not to dismiss. Your feelings of being frustrated at, at this stage. But to help you kind of like work through them Yeah. After you've acknowledged them. Yeah. And how to still stay productive in it. Mm-hmm. Because we don't, we don't wanna just like spiral. Oh, for sure. I think it's funny, every time we do a Let's get deep episode, we always tell, or I feel like we often will say. Like we're not experts in this. A lot of times what we're saying is reminders for ourselves. Mm-hmm. Like, okay, these are the things we know that work. Yes. And we're like just giving a reminder to ourselves of how to jumpstart that again. So, yeah, we're not experts, but this is what we think works for us and we'll probably be helpful for somebody else. Definitely. And I, and I think that because we're speaking from experience mm-hmm. That. You know, we, no, we're not experts, but when we started the podcast, one thing that we really wanted was we were like, there's not a lot of podcasts out there in the podcast space that just talk about literal things that they're going through. Yes. And like, look real talk. This is what I'm going through and this is how I'm working through it. Yeah. And maybe it'll help you. Yes. You know, literally. Yes. There's just not a lot of podcasts like that. So we wanna be that type of podcast. Yeah. So hopefully if you resonate with this episode or you're feeling stuck between things or you know, someone that is, you can share it with them and hopefully there are some little nuggets that you can pick up. Yeah. And apply. But I think that we can just dive in. Let's get into it. Let's get deep. Yeah. So, okay. So I'll be honest. I feel like this has come up. Because I'm kind of figuring out like my career and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. And I know what, how I felt when I left. I talked about this in our red flags, uh, or not red flags, I think of it as our red flags episode. But it was, yeah, it basically was, it was really, it was our episode about is it time to quit my job? Yeah. And like signs to look out for. Yes. And I talked a lot in that episode about my previous job and how I was sober burn out. And these are the signs. And how it was just, yeah, those were the signs. Mm-hmm. But I didn't really talk about that middle stage of waiting on applications to get reviewed and going through the interview process, and honestly just being at the mercy of someone else's decision. Yeah. And feeling kind of outta control with that. Because the thing is, when you are in the middle and you are not. You're not where you want to be. Mm-hmm. You feel stuck and you feel drained and it's really easy to spiral and it's really, really, really easy to stop. Do like stop taking the actions that you know you need to do. Yes. It's this like cycle. Yes. Because you're unhappy where you're at. Mm-hmm. So, you know, you need to do stuff to change that. Mm-hmm. And like get you more prepared or get you better or whatever. But then. Whenever it's at the point where you're just waiting. Yeah. Then it makes you feel drained and exhausted and then like you're back at square one. Yeah. You're like, nothing's working. Yes. And I can't get, get anything. Yeah. And so instead you wanna pull out your phone and doom scroll. Right. Instead of like applying to more jobs or instead of mm-hmm. Doing the things that, you know, you put looking at more houses or going on the dating apps or whatever it is that is draining you, you know? Yes. So it's kind of this, it's this back and forth and it can get really. Make you feel really stuck. And I know another example of this for me in my real life is weight loss in the past. Yeah. There's always that plateau. Yes, yes. Yeah. When you plateau. And the thing is, with weight loss, even, like if you do the whole calorie counting thing on My Fitness Pal mm-hmm. It'll set you up automatically if you want weight loss for like 0.5 pounds a week. Yeah. So when you think about that, you're like, that's two pounds a month. And so for a lot of people, for a lot of people, they're like 30 full days. Of being mindful about what I'm eating and being good about my portions and walking and exercising and whatever types of things. Yeah. And you out sugar. Yeah. And then you get to the end of the month and instead of being at. 150 pounds, you're at 148 pounds and you're like, what the hell is this? And you're like, this isn't worth it, you know? Yeah. And so it gets really, and that in turn makes you turn around and binge eat or stop exercising or whatever. Mm-hmm. And then instead of going up back up to that one 50, you're at like 1 55. Right. You know? And so it can get really defeating and make you kind of re reverse or mm-hmm. What am I trying to say? Re revert. Refer. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Back to the things that you were doing before Yes. And you're, and then you're still unhappy. Yes. And then you're still stuck. Yes. Exactly. So, so I know for me, those are some of the examples where I felt like the most stuck are with, and we'll talk about some of the helpful tools of that, but mm-hmm. Just so that people can hear, like, this is an everyday example of. Job searching and mm-hmm. Feeling stuck in a health journey and that sort of thing, like mm-hmm. There are a lot of ways that this applies and those are definitely two that I've experienced personally. Yeah. I think some big ones that I have experienced, and I don't feel like I'm going through this one right now because I feel like we haven't figured out the answer, but before we moved into our newest house that we're in right now. I remember feeling very stuck about where we were gonna end up, about being like, are we gonna, is it gonna be independence? Is it gonna be Blue Springs, is it gonna be Kansas? Mm-hmm. And that stressed me out so bad'cause there are so many possibilities. And I was like, I don't really know where you go with this information. And I think that's what gets me a lot as I get so stressed out with all the possibilities that I'm like. I don't know what to do next kind of thing. Mm-hmm. And it felt like we were in such limbo for so long and we would always say like, oh, we'll talk about it. Like, we'll figure it out. Mm-hmm. It'll, it'll come to us. And honestly it kind of did. But like that was a huge waiting stage in our lives that I was just like, I just don't know what to do next. I don't know how to know, and I don't know. I just don't know what it's gonna look like. I feel like trying to plan for the future can be really hard'cause you just don't know what it's gonna look like. Yeah. And so that was a really hard one for us and we didn't know where to look. But then honestly we found this house that we're in now, it's just still a rental, but it's like a kind of a long-term rental right now. Like we signed a lease for a couple years. Mm-hmm. Um, but before that it's in Grain Valley, which I love in Grain Valley. And I'm like, okay. I think that that's like. Kind of the area that I would really be happy in. And I don't think that I knew that before ending up here and deciding that this is a good spot for us. But before we did it, that was something that really was getting to me all the time of being like, I don't know where to go. I don't know how to know where to go and all that stuff. So that's one of the biggest things I can think of being, just feeling so stuck. Yes. Of not knowing where to go next. Yeah. And it's mentally fatiguing. So did you feel like. Did it ever make you feel like, oh, I just don't even wanna Oh, yes. Book anymore? Yes. All the time. Yeah. But I was just like, I don't, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and that's a quite often a, a habit of mine is that I like. When it gets hard, I just talk like avoid. Yeah. Yes. I avoid it. I don't wanna look at it. It stresses me out, so I'm like, someone else will do it. Yeah. That's not how it works in adulthood especially. Right. Like, who else is gonna do it? Nobody. I have to do it. Yeah. And so, yeah, I stopped looking for a long time and then randomly got online again and was like, okay, we need to figure this out. And, and like I had had my search so large, I was like, I don't know, we could go to so many different places. Yeah. And then we did end up finding this house that we're in and absolutely love it and really love the area. So that was just so lucky. But yeah. Good. Good. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I feel like that's, that's a big one. When you're making a really big life decision. Like a job or a house or a, or even like, do we buy, do we rent? Mm-hmm. I know you guys, I know you guys went back Yeah. And forth with that. Yeah. Kids even you were kind of conjuring up some of the feelings that I've been having about. Not turning 30, but just like what I'm gonna do for my 30th. Oh yeah. And this is such a silly example, like frivolous example. Mm-hmm. But I've been feeling like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I could do that, I could do this, I could do this, I could do, mm-hmm. Like, there were all the, I was like, I could go to a music festival, I could go to Europe, I could go to a resort. I could just stay home. I could go on a staycation, I could, we could take Ed like an hour away to a cottage. Like I don't, I, I just went. In my head. And sometimes when you have all of those options, it really becomes mentally fatiguing. Yes. And you're like, I don't know. Yes. And that, like, what I'm gonna do for my 30th birthday is not as big of a deal as like buying a house or mm-hmm. Finding a, a rental home or, yeah. Finding a partner or finding a new job or anything like that. But it's still one of those decisions that like caught you in your steps and you're like, wait, what? Yeah. And also you're not alone in that.'cause I've been thinking about what I'm gonna do for night, my next birthday, and I dunno, either, so, right? Yes. And And it's one of those things that we just make so many decisions in any given day that these God, yes, these really big ones. That are important. I'm not talking about my 30 birthday. These really big ones that are important. It just becomes, so that's why they become so draining because you're already making these decisions and then in the back of your brain you're like, well, in. SA few months, I'm turning 30 and what am I gonna do? And yeah. And they're just things like that or, oh, in a few weeks we've got the baby shower. Oh, in a few weeks we've got this. Or Yeah, do we wanna do that? Do we want to go to a cheesecake? Like just, just silly stuff like that. Right. I just thought of another really big one. Okay. That I don't know if, I'm sure other people can relate to, but for us, credit card debt was a big one where we have had quite a bit of credit card debt since our wedding.'cause we opened up credit cards for our wedding and we got married at 22 and 23. And that was in what, 2022? I don't remember. I think it was 2022. But credit card debt has been a big thing for us because it feels like such a huge number that you're like, I'm never gonna pay this off. Yeah. And so then you don't, like, you just make your minimum payments.'cause otherwise you're gonna get flagged. So you make your minimum payments and then you're making those huge minimum payments every single month. It doesn't feel like anything is getting better. You never see your actual debt dropping. And so then we would just. Like, we would still just be like, oh, whatever. Like we've got credit card debt. Like let's just put this one on the credit card too. Yeah. And it got. Like it never got to a point of out of control where we were like drowning or anything like that, but for us, we were like, this is more debt than we would like to have. Right. At our age, especially, and like when we are trying to buy a home one day, we are trying to have kids one day, like we don't wanna go into that with a bunch of debt. Mm-hmm. And that was a really big one that we just for so long, we were like, how do we fix this without paying it off at one time? Yeah. And we were like, well, we can't pay it off at one time. So we really had to start taking huge steps of being like, okay, less money goes into our savings and more money goes to like to our debt kind of thing. Yeah. And now with the consistent schedule of doing that and like having that be such a priority, our debt has gone down so much and we paid off like four credit cards. That's a good example. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It was just one that I was thinking of that I was like, wait, this was a one that was a huge. I felt super stuck. Yeah. And super. Like there's no way out. Yeah. You feel stuck and it almost, that stuck feeling almost makes you take, it either leads to inaction, uhhuh, which is, which inaction is still action. Mm-hmm. What you're not changing or choosing. Yeah. You know, little things and beautiful phrase, but it also can sometimes lead to actions that are even hindering your situation even further. Yeah. The situation that you're already. Frustrating. Yeah. So like adding on more credit card debt. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's not gonna get better. Let's just add more. Exactly. Yeah. No, really. And I feel like the same with like the weight loss thing, or the same with, yeah. I mean, honestly with I, I know that neither of us can fully relate to like finding a partner and like single hood in this stage of life. Mm-hmm. So I am sorry if I'm speaking outta my ass here, but, but like, even in that situation, I know like sometimes people, like they have a bad date or whatever, they feel defeated and then they're like, I'm deleting all the apps or something, you know, or they go back to an ex that they're, it's horrible. That's a better example. Yes. Yeah. And so it's like sometimes it leads to inaction, which is already not what you want. Yeah. But then sometimes it also leads to action that is even more harmful. Yes. So, so we're gonna talk about kind of shifting your mindset. And some ways, some things that might be able to help you as you're feeling in this stuck, messy middle Yes. Part of your life. If you have a area of your life where you're feeling that way. Mm-hmm. And it can be anything. Yes. Money, relationships, birthday parties, whatever. Yeah. So I do wanna say, again, I said it earlier, but I, it is totally okay to acknowledge that this part sucks. It's not where you want to be. You're in the middle. And when we're talking about shifting your mindset, it's. Meant to help you move forward with the things that you can control. Not like diminishing or dismissing the feelings that this shit sucks right now. Yeah. Because we know that it does. We, we just talked about ways that we know specifically. Yeah. So we get that. It sucks. It does suck. These are some things that can help you, so. Mm-hmm. The first one that I have is thinking of like previous times that you were in a waiting stage. Yeah. And how yucky they felt and how. Now you're on the other side of it. Yeah. Like this is, this is honestly just a mental clarity point because it does feel so dark and like you've talked about having like tunnel vision or something like, yeah, this is all I can see is that this is bad. This is frustrating. I'm gonna have to renew lease on a freaking house that I hate. It's all I can find, you know? Yeah. It feels like it'll never get better. Yes. But it always has before it does. You've made it out of every sucky situation that you've been in. Yes. So every time you've been stuck before. You've come out on the other end of it. Yeah. So I feel like that's like kind of the first thing that helps me sometimes is just remembering that I'm going to feel better. I don't know how yet. Mm-hmm. And I don't know what that looks like yet, but I, I know that every time I've felt this feeling of being stuck, I've gotten to a point where. Something changed. You know, I got, I got through it. Yeah. So for me that's really helpful. I don't know if that helps. No, that is very comforting for me. I think that's really where Mason and I came up with our phrase of like, things work out for us because we would be stuck in the middle of things and we'd be like, okay, things will work out for us. We will make them work out for us. Like we know that this feeling of feeling stuck and feeling hopeless is temporary. So it's a very comforting. Like reminder for me to be like, okay, this is not forever. Especially'cause I do have that tunnel vision. Yeah. Or like that anxiety of feeling like it is and feeling like it is the end of the world and how's this ever gonna get better? And I have such a tendency to be like, oh my God, if this is what we're doing right now, then what it, what's life gonna be like when we're 70? Yeah. And I'm like, okay, Bailey years. Like I think you'll, something will have changed. Yes. Yes. The, the second thing that I have, and I don't know if this is gonna make total sense, but like. Sometimes I think about, okay. Honestly, right now, if I were to get the, if I were to get to the result, what if like the result just magically happened overnight right now mm-hmm. That I wanted to happen, would I be the person that could still maintain that result today? So, for example, if you have like. A hundred pounds to lose, let's say. Yeah. And overnight you magically lost that a hundred pounds. You'd wake up in the morning, you'd be like, oh fuck yeah. Like whatever. But you wouldn't have any of the lifestyle changes. Like you would just go right back to eating Doritos. I would getting Taco Bell would immediately go celebrate at a Mexican restaurant. Yeah. Margaritas like whatever. You would just chips in case. So, and you would not have any of the skills, any of the habits, any of the mindset work? Mm-hmm. That took you. To become healthy. Mm-hmm. You know, like to, if, if that was your goal, if that weight loss was the healthy, you know, yeah. I'm not, I'm not talking about someone who's like, okay, anyway, let's just, we know what you're saying. Okay. So, so anyway, so all I have to say, like, would, if this happened overnight, would you be the person that could do that? Or for instance, like if you're looking for a house or something, maybe be, maybe if you did become a homeowner, homeowner. Overnight you would be able to own a house and that sort of thing. But sometimes like the process of just like going through the process of something frustrating like that mm-hmm. Builds in you like some skills and some resilience and some habits and things that I feel like teach you how to be the person that once you get that thing. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes, absolutely. It reminds me of like, if you're in a shitty job. And all you want is to be in another job, but like if you had been able to switch over immediately, you might not have been ready for a new job, or you might not have had the tools of organization or time management or like standing up for yourself. Mm-hmm. Like work life boundaries that you learned in your last job. Mm-hmm. And you, so then you could just take every bad habit and every bad feeling you had with you into the new one. And then this one's not gonna be any better. Mm-hmm. Like, just'cause the result is there, you're might not be ready for it. Yeah. I've heard that jogged a an example in my brain of when you're, all you want is to be promoted. Mm-hmm. And you're, you really, really wanna be promoted and whatever. But maybe in the meantime, before you're getting promoted, maybe this is your opportunity to. Be become like better, not friends, but form good connections and relationships with the people that you would be supervising if you were. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, maybe right now you need to have a better, what's that called? Not repertoire. We do this all the time. A better re not reputation. A better rapport. Rapport, yes. We do this all the time. We seriously do this all the time. Okay. We're like, let's worry for that season two. I'm gonna start saving these clips. I know, but yeah. But like you, maybe you need to build better rapport or there are some things that you need to learn before you are promoted. Yeah. You know, just things like that where I'm like, or honestly for you, like if you had this baby today. Do you feel like you'd be ready? No. No, and we, we actually say that all the time where we're like, we'll feel her kick. And we're like, oh, we just wanna meet her. We just wanna hold her. And I'm like, no, but you stay put. I'm like, you cannot come out because mommy is not ready. And also neither are you. Yeah, yeah. You stay put. Actually, what I'm saying is not true. I do not wanna beat you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just, I guess that's something that sometimes when I think about it, I'm like, okay. And sometimes you don't know what you're learning. Like sometimes it's a very cheesy thing where you're like, I don't really, I don't really know what I'm learning in this stage. But everything happens for a reason. You're like, okay, what's the reason? Right? Yeah. But I will honestly say like with my previous job and that example of being frustrated in it, I do feel like I learned way better. The signs of burnout. Mm-hmm. And I, I learned, I just learned a lot more about myself and what I want in a workplace and, and, and not even a workplace, but just what I want in a work life balance situation. Yeah. And boundaries and that sort of thing. Mm-hmm. And it taught me a lot, even though like in the middle of that stage was really yucky. It taught me a lot about myself and what I value and. And it was good for me. Like it was just, it was just good for me. It's brought a lot of clarity to how I felt at certain times in my current job. Yeah. And so, yeah, so I just feel like maybe if that's, if you can think about that as much as possible, like think about, okay, well maybe this is teaching me something, or maybe I'm developing habits, I'm developing skills right now in real time that are gonna help me once I am at that result that I want. Yes. And help me get that result, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. If you can like reflect yes. On what you have gotten from it and what you are learning from it and why this stage of life is still beneficial even though it sucks. Yeah. Like why it's still helpful. Yes. Yeah. Kinda gas at yourself a little bit. Exactly. Our next one is celebrating the small wins. So this will help you build momentum. This will help you stay encouraged and stay on top of it if you can celebrate those small wins that come your way. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like. I don't know. I'm trying to think of an example. Well, I guess we both talked about like in our weight loss for sure. Mm-hmm. That it, that's just an easy example to be like, okay, instead of being like two pounds, that's it. Mm-hmm. You know, being like two pounds, like Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, something like that. I mean, when I think about like our credit card debt, for example. Mm-hmm. We have like seven credit cards.'cause Mason already had like four. And then I had, I think I have three and I think one of'em is our shared credit card. But one of them only had like$200 of debt on there. So when you have that compared to like a$7,000 debt. Yeah. You're like, oh, it's so small. Like we don't really need to worry about that one. But then the second we got that one paid off, we were like, oh my God, we have a credit card paid off. And like Mason has this little spreadsheet of all of our credit card debt and stuff, and he was like, babe, look like it's a zero. Oh my God. And it was just a thing. Sure. But it was such a, and that's so small compared to the$7,000. Yeah. But if we had put the$200 towards that$7,000, it would've been great. Like the number would've gone down. But we still would've been like, oh, there's a lot more to work for, but we put it towards this one to get it at zero. And we're like, ah. Like that was such a small win for us. That felt so huge and it like encouraged us to keep going mm-hmm. And encouraged us to be like, let's get the next one at zero. Like, which one are we going for next? And yeah, I, I loved. I love doing that, and I think that that is really what has helped us with our debt specifically. Yeah. And I think that, I don't know, sometimes it's hard to find a win. Like if you are looking for a house or you're looking for a partner, or you're looking for a job or something like that, it can sometimes feel hard to celebrate small wins. But if you, you know, if you have like a, a goal, I mean, ultimately your goal is to. To get married or get a house or get a job or whatever. Yeah, I obviously, that's your ultimate goal, but you can set up little tiny goals. This is kind of the, like my last tip I, I guess I would say mm-hmm. For this mindset shift, you can set up little tiny goals. Like if your goal is to get a, is. To find your partner. Can you, I know dating apps are the go-to, but like, can you set a little goal that once a week you will go out to something social like maybe it's a trivia night at a bar. Maybe it's like a fitness class at the gym, or it's, I don't know, something Yoga in the garden that I did that last week. It was so bad. But anyway, somewhere where like you have, you're, you don't know that you're necessarily gonna find like a partner or a man or a woman or whatever. But you are still like in an environment that's not sitting in your apartment. Yeah. And hoping that something comes to being frustrated to you. Yeah, exactly. So, so maybe that could be like a tiny goal. Okay. Once a week I'm gonna do something like that. Yeah. Or if you're looking for a new job and you set the goal. I, I've done this before, but I've set the goal of, okay, I'm gonna apply to three jobs a day. Yeah. You know, like, it doesn't. It doesn't have to be, I'm not gonna lie, applying to like in this timeframe mm-hmm. Is a lot different. Like Jared has, has found. Jared has had a couple of jobs in the last couple of years where he's had to find a new job. Yeah. And it always works out for him. Mm-hmm. But the middle is so grueling, like Yeah. He ha he had a spreadsheet of like a hundred jobs that he applied for God that stretch. He still gets some rejection emails sometimes and like months ago he's like, okay, thanks. He, yeah. But. But anyway, so it takes a long time, but if you just set a tiny goal, like three jobs a day. Yeah. Or if the goal is to. Get a, get your, find your forever home or something like that, then maybe having, setting a goal of looking at two houses a day or not a day. That'd be crazy. That would be crazy. Look like going to two open houses each week. Yeah. Viewing two houses each week. You know, something like that. Mm-hmm. And then you can. Go back to the previous step of celebrating tiny wins. And when you do that thing, like when you check those three job applications off the list or whatever, yeah. You can do a little, like you can celebrate a little bit. Yeah. You can feel like you're making the progress and like, okay. Like we're not, we're not in only in the middle. We are getting towards the end. Yes. We're figuring it out. Yes. And so I feel like, I don't know, those are things that you can control. Mm-hmm. So it kind of helps you with the mindset shift of like, while I'm just waiting on. Waiting on an offer to go through, or I'm waiting on an applica, or I'm waiting for someone to fall in love with me, or something like that. Yeah. Or I'm waiting for our credit card debt to go down. It's like what? These things aren't gonna happen without you taking action. Yeah. Even though it feels like some of the actions that you're taking aren't fruitful. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You still have to take that action. So let's get, let's get you into a place where you feel like you, like a mindset where you can, and let's celebrate when you do. Yeah, for sure. I also think that. We've kind of talked about how sometimes in the messy middle, it also just feels like you don't know how to get out of it, or you don't know what those next steps are. Mm-hmm. So this is also a time that you can take where you're like, okay, I'm in this job that I hate right now. I don't really know what I want to do next. Or maybe you don't hate your job, but you're like, I don't really feel like this is a sustainable career for me, kind of thing. Like, this isn't what I wanna do forever. So you don't know where to go next. It can be. A good like goal mindset or a good thing of celebrating wins if you are, um, like, you're like, wow, I set up a great work boundary for myself. Mm-hmm. And like, now I can take this into the next place and know that, know that every day I need my 30 minutes for lunch. Like that's a huge work boundary and be like, okay, and I know that that works really well for me or. You are trying to date and like you're really not finding anything and you're like, I don't really know how to find more. Like I've done everything I can, but not getting down on yourself and not feeling like you are the problem. Mm-hmm. Like I feel like, I feel like sometimes it's a mindset, stress mindset shift of that as well, of knowing that something will come as long as you do put in the work. But even if you don't know where you're going with it necessarily, you can't just, you can't already give up or you can't already feel like it will never get better. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Kind of. If, if you feel like it's over, it is. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like you're the, you are the deciding factor. And I, we said this at, when we started the episode, but I have to tell myself that a lot. Like, I, when I'm in a, a stage where I am feeling stuck or in a rut or in a plateau or just like, ugh, like I, nothing's ever gonna change. If I decide nothing's ever gonna change, nothing's ever gonna change because it's only gonna change if I make a change, you know? Yeah. I like your saying of inaction is still action. Yeah. Yeah. It really is. Like, damn, that's true. No, really? Yeah. If you're sitting at home doing nothing mm-hmm. You are moving yourself toward a specific place. Mm-hmm. You know, it is, it's just probably not the place you want it to be. Like. Right. It, you know, so it, yeah. It's really, really tough. And I do wanna reiterate that from experience it makes. Me feel so down. It makes me feel like not myself, you know, when I'm feeling stuck or I'm feeling like, oh my God, nothing's ever gonna get better. Mm-hmm. You know? And so this episode hopefully just feels like a me too. We got you. We get you. Yeah. And here some things that might help you. You know, they kind help me. Mm-hmm. And. We will get out of it together. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I just thought of this so we can literally take this part out, but knowing that it's not personal of like, oh yeah. Like dang, I've tried to put in three offers on three different houses and no one's accepting him. It's not because they don't like you. Yeah. It's not because they're like, oh, these people, they're not rich enough for me. Like I don't want their money. It's not because of that. Yeah. Or being like, oh my God, I've applied to seven different jobs and no one's gotten back to me. It's not personal. Right. They don't even know you. Yeah. Like and I have such a problem with. Mason, and I actually talked about it this week, but I have a really big problem with putting my worth into what I feel like other people see of out of me. Mm-hmm. Or like, like I, I make myself as worthy as the attention they give me kind of thing. Yeah. And it can be so hard if you're feeling constantly rejected or like constantly let down or. Just stuck that it can feel like it's all you. Yeah. And that you have to be doing something wrong, but a lot of times it's not even that. Yeah. It's just that things are not working out right now. Yeah, definitely. I don't know. No, I totally get that. When we did our partners with your partner episode just a couple weeks ago, I like made a post about Jared.'cause I was saying. I attach a lot of my worth to whatever I can offer somebody. Yeah. And it's really hard if you're like applying to a job and you get a rejection like within hours. Mm-hmm. And they're like, I'm not good enough. Yeah. And they're basically like, well, what you have to offer, so, so sorry. Or I'm sure like it's even more, it feels even more vulnerable if like you swipe on someone that doesn't swipe on you. Oh yeah. Did I say that right? No. Yeah. Okay. Like you swipe on someone that doesn't swipe back on you. Mm-hmm. And it's like, that can, it's like, okay, what I have to offer isn't worth it. You know? Like, come on and it mm-hmm. So it can be really hard, but truly it's not like, and especially on those dating apps, it is so surface level. Like they know nothing about you. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's like it can't be personal. Yeah. They don't know you. Resumes, house offers, dating app profiles. Like all this stuff is so surface level. Mm-hmm. That it's like. Yeah, it's not personal. I like that note. That's a good note. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad. Yeah, because I was like, before we wrap up, I have to interject. Yes. So hopefully this helps you. Hopefully it, hopefully it resonates with you. Maybe if you're not feeling stuck right now, you can send it to someone you who you know is feeling stuck, or if you are feeling stuck and you need a little pep talk. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully this is helpful for you. We would love if you would share it. With friends and family or share it on your stories at all, or you know, if you felt like it was helpful, please share it out there. Mm-hmm. So that we can keep spreading the word and Yeah. No, I agree. Year two, for me, I've decided my own little goal.'cause honestly, feeling stuck in the podcast has been a thing. Yeah. Like, where is this going? What are we doing? How do we grow it? Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And I've decided a year two, I'm all about like sharing and getting, getting more. People to even know what it is. Yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah, there you go. And that's not one that we talked about a lot, but I'm sure that this could resonate a lot if you're like a business owner or an entrepreneur or you're trying to start like a network mark, network marketing business or something like that. Yeah, I didn't talk about that, but lots of these feelings happened when I was doing like body coaching. Mm-hmm. So totally. Hopefully it applies to any area of life and you feel like you can share it with someone. Yeah. Well, I think that's everything I had. Me too. We'll talk with you next week. Yep. Cheer nice. Cheers. Woohoo. I think that was a good reminder episode. Good. Me too. I know I talk a lot on the episodes