74: [How-To] Romanticizing Your Life (Without Avoiding Reality)

Today's episode is all about romanticizing your life. Taking those mundane moments and making them into special occasions so that you never let a minute of your time on this planet pass you by or feel any less than a miracle of your time on earth. 

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Transcript

0:08

Welcome to the Fill Your Cups podcast. I'm your host Morgan, and I've also got entered here today. He probably won't speak up much today unless there is a mailman or something at her door, but in that case I'll probably edit it out anyway, but today I have another solo episode while Bailey is out on podcast maternity leave. If you are new to the podcast, usually my sister Bailey and I. Record episodes just around topics that we feel like we're experiencing in real time. That can be either a little bit of fun, could be. A little bit of a deeper topic or something that we can give you some like really applicable tips, tricks, hacks, whatever that we think ca are categorized into, like a how to episode. So today's episode is a how to episode. We're talking about romanticizing your life without avoiding reality. So I feel like this is a fun thing that has gone around on. Social media, just in our culture in general, the idea of romanticizing your life, and I feel like it's something that I need right now. So like I said, we talk about things in real time because we feel like part of making sure that all of your cups are filled in everyday life, whether that's relationships, career, your home life, your friendships, your spouse or partner relationship, your dog ownership, whatever that might be. There are just so many things that we have to juggle, and so whenever we are noticing something coming up in our own lives that we either wanna work on or we feel like has gone really well, we always like to share that with you guys. So today since Bailey's out on podcast maternity Leave with Sweet Niece Mila Rose, I am doing a solo episode. Last week's episode I had my husband on, and that was a really fun episode about. The apps that we really like and kind of improve our lives and fill our cups. So go back and listen to that one if you haven't. But before I get into today's episode, I do wanna share what's filling my cup and right now, okay, so I kind of have two things because I had this really cute fall. I've been making these Ali Pop. If you're on YouTube, I'm kind of. Putting it up to the screen, but it's the crisp Apple Ali pop. And then I got the tool thing where you can take off the top of the aluminum can, which is super fun. And I've been making these for a couple of Fall Craft girl nights recently and just thought it was really fun. So I made one for myself. Now it's kind of like a fall version of Dirty Sodas and I'll. Definitely put up a little reel of me making this on Instagram. So go there for the recipe if you want it, or you can just comment on this episode or DM us and at Fill Your Cups podcast and let us know that you want the recipe. But if you are someone who uses AWS at all for your, I think it's hosting or server or, I don't know, my husband would know, but. It has it affected D Script, which is what we use to record and edit the podcast. So I had started with that drink, but. It was down all day. So I no longer have that drink and now I have a different drink. So it's just one of the fizzes that we really like from, it's a little bit of like just energy for the afternoon that our sister Julia gives us from Aon. So I'll link that in the show notes too. But anyway, that's what's filling in my cup is a fizz right now. And then I did wanna go ahead and give our shout out today to. Those of you that participate on our Instagram polls, we always love when you do. And I'm always really surprised whenever we put up a poll and we actually get a lot of participation, I kind of forget that we have those. And so our most recent one I asked where you listen to, so the majority of you I know now are listening on Spotify. At least if you follow us on Instagram, then you're most likely listening on Spotify because 85% of. People said Spotify, and then 5% said Apple Podcasts, which is what I listened to. So I was really surprised by that. And then 5% said YouTube, and I was again really surprised by that because we've had such an increase in our YouTube viewership recently. So, but maybe those people, maybe you're just not following us on Instagram, which if you're not, then now's the time to go follow us on Instagram at Fill Your Cups podcast. But I wanted to shout out our Spotify users since that's the majority of you. Shout out to you if you're listening on Spotify, don't forget to rate us. We would super appreciate it. But yeah, shout out to you Spotify users, we appreciate you. And then before I dive into the episode, just a quick reminder. I already said if you're on Spotify, leave a rating.'cause that's what you can do on Spotify. If you're on Apple Podcasts and can go the extra mile to leave a review, that would be huge. The reviews on Apple Podcasts really help shows get seen, so we'd appreciate that. And then if you're watching on YouTube, leave us, drop us a comment, let me know. How you think Eds look in basket in the sun. It is a weird like time of day right now, different than the normal time of day we record. So there's a lot of sun on me right now. But yeah, drop us a comment. Let me know if you liked our apps episode last week. Let me know if you liked the idea of romanticizing your life or if you could use this in your life and. Let's get into the episode. So I feel like fall is such a fun season and it kind of like lends itself to a romancey vibe. You know, I always think of the false sweaters and like romantic book covers and Gilmore girls vibes and just like, and candles and bathtubs and you know, it just, it's a fun, it's a fun time and very like aesthetic time. But I feel like it can pa, it passes by so fast. I don't know if you guys feel like this, but fall is the quickest season, I think. Like I feel like winter drags on forever. Summer it's really, really hot for really long. Like honestly, in October, this is. The, I'm recording this the week before this comes out and so this is coming out the week of Halloween and the week before Halloween. It has not been that like it's only just now getting chilly, so it's kind of crazy that fully into October, it still can be like 90 degrees. So it's like summer lasts long time. Which I love. Winter lasts long time. I feel like when spring hits, it's just like snowy slash sleety slash rainy the whole time. So I feel like fall is just, it's, we all love it and we don't really get to experience it for that long. So we really need to romanticize it and be present while we're there. So this idea just came to me from, I don't really know where it came from, but I was like, I really need to. I've, I've been kind of down in the dumps. My last solo episode was about being. Like facing disappointment. So if you didn't listen to that episode, it's a very different vibe than this episode. But it was just talking about disappointment and giving yourself grace when you're going through disappointment. So I have felt the strong pull to like be present and be mindful and be aware of all the good things so that I can kind of counteract that disappointment more and just kind of have a better. Be in a better mind space as I go through my life. So I love the idea of romanticizing my life, especially in fall when I feel like it just passes by so quickly and I wanna be present. So I truly feel like that's what romanticizing your life is at the core, is being present, making every moment or you know, as many moments. Possible meaningful and special. You know, nothing is mundane, nothing is for granted. We, you know, we only get one life. We have a TBD amount of days here, and we want every single one to count. So we, so I am excited to talk about romanticizing. Life, our lives, and I got some, I, I thought of some tips on my own, but then I also got some from some different sources as well. So just wanted to share, I'm kind of giving five ways that you can romanticize your life and going into those different ways specifically. So we're just gonna talk about seeing our lives through a more intentional, joyful lens and helping build rituals that help us feel alive again. So, you know, you. It's one of those things where it's like we only get one life, and it's not that you need a new life, you just need to see it differently. So let's start romanticizing it. That said, I'm gonna take a drink real quick. Because I've realized on these solo episodes, it's actually really hard to get a drink in. Because no one's talking to me and you know, editor's just laying there. So I need to take a drink real quick and then come back. Okay, so first way you can romanticize your life is turning your small habits into rituals. So I kind of love this when I started looking at romanticizing your life on social media and whatnot, I saw so many little, you know, just nice. Moments with your morning coffee or you know, doing your skincare, taking a walk. And those are all things that I do regularly, but sometimes you just kind of rush through those things. So let's make those mundane things. Move them into like more ritualistic things. So for example, when you're having your coffee, you could automatically play your favorite song or like a motivation song or a wake up song. And I immediately thought of this because Wicked part two is coming out here soon and Dancing With the Stars is this week and it is the wicked. Episode and I was reminded by a friend that when Jared and I saw part one of Wicked, he got really into defying gravity and it's just like such a blood booster, you know, like it a blood booster. I don't know if that's the right term, but it's just such a go-getter type of song. We just love it so much. And so for a period of time after we saw Wicked Part One, he would play it like every morning. And I just remember. It being, yeah, a good way to kickstart the day. So I was thinking of this like if you, you know, if when you go grab your coffee, turn on a song that amps you up, you know, maybe it's, maybe right now it's like life of a Showgirl or something because Taylor Swift just came out. Or maybe it is. Justin Bieber, or I don't, it could be anything. Maybe it's a throwback. Maybe it's like some one direction pop. It's like you don't know what makes you be beautiful, I feel like this is such a good way to turn your coffee into a ritual and it, it takes very little effort, but it immediately shifts you into a different mental space and immediately makes the mood lighter and funner and happier. So that's one way. Another thing was to like with the walks. If you're taking a morning walk or an afternoon walk or like a lunchtime digestion, hot girl walk situation, then that could be a good time to run through like a reflection question or two. So maybe you go in and you. You start your walk and you ask yourself, what's one thing that made me happy today? Or you ask yourself, what's one thing that I really love about what I'm seeing right now? Or, you know, what's one thing in my visual pathway that I find? I find moving, you know, you can just kind of do a little reflection with it. And then the last thing that I would say with turning small habits into rituals, which this we could go on forever because we have so many habits. We've talked about that on many episodes before. But another thing that I do every day is my skincare. And I really like the idea of. Attaching affirmations to my skincare routines. So making that into a little bit of a ritual that I'm a little bit more present for, and I'm not just running through the motions. You know, my skincare, it doesn't take but a few minutes. But when I'm doing it, I can be saying I love my body. I am excited about the life that I'm living. I have healthy relationships. I am. Creating a future that I care about and I'm excited about. You know, just whatever those affirmations are that are really important to you, those are some things that you can do while you're doing your skincare or brushing your teeth or something like that. Just making yourself a little bit more mindful, a little bit more aware, and just a touch more of romanticism into your daily life. So second way that I wanted to say you can romanticize your life is by evaluating the language that you're using. So this is really big, I think. I think that there are just naturally, some people that. Are more positive or upbeat or optimistic and just expect things, you know, things to go well or you know, and then there's the rest of us. And naturally a lot of us are going to fall into the camp where we may automatically think negatively or something like this, where we're like, oh, I don't wanna get up and go to work, or, I don't wanna get up and meal prep, or, oh, I don't wanna go to the store. That's been one for me lately, but. What it has been helpful for me to pay attention to is when I'm saying I don't want to, or, oh, I hate that I have to, things like that in rephrasing. So for instance, like, Ugh, I don't, I really don't wanna cook dinner being like, I really get, or I'm really, I guess you don't have to say you're thankful, but I get to nourish my body. I get to feed myself. You know, I have the ability to do that. Another thing that is really interesting with this language aspect of things is that there is something, there's like our conscious mind and our subconscious mind. Conscious mind is the one that we're in control of. We're noticing things and we're, or we're fully aware of, and then our subconscious mind is a little bit. I won't say dumber, but it like takes things for what they are. So there's a book on this. I think it's the power of your subconscious mind. Very fascinating, But the cool thing about the power of your subconscious mind is that whatever, whatever you tell it, it just kind of believes. So when you say, Ugh, I hate making dinner. It just assumes that you're the type of person that makes dinner, and that continues to kind of be cyclical in your brain. Now when you say, I really love nourishing my body, it all, it, it, you know, it goes both ways. It's positive and negative. You can tell your subconscious mind what to believe, and it just takes it for face value and, and there's like a hole. There's a hole. Neuron pathway. Someone in cognition would be able to explain this a lot better. Probably our friend Madeline, who we had on about talking about therapy several episodes ago. But there your brain truly does rewire different pathways in your. Network, I, I don't know, brain network. And when you tell yourself certain things, it, the subconscious mind believes it, and then it starts to, it kind of becomes a cyclical thing. So it's kind of like that whole, what you give is what you get situation where like when you're, when you think that everything's bad and doom and gloom, you're gonna see the doom and gloom. It's that whole bias of confirmation bias, you know? So. I feel like that's kind of ultimately what the subconscious mind is, is confirmation bias, but in a much more biological way. So when you evaluate the language that you're using and you change it. It helps you a lot. So I especially feel like when it pertains to yourself, of course, things about the world, like that's gonna affect the way that your, your brain perceives the world, but especially when you're using self-talk that's negative or positive, it can really make a difference in specifically what we're talking about today, which is romanticizing your life. So like. When you talk about yourself in front of others, like do you put yourself down a lot? Do you over explain? Do you use a lot of things like, oh, if that makes sense, or you know, like kind of caveats whenever you're, whenever you're speaking about yourself. Those kinds of things. They just kind of take away from our presence, I feel like, and help us and make us doubt ourselves. So I would just pay attention this week as you're thinking about romanticizing your life and making the most of it and being very present. Pay attention to the words that you're using whenever you're speaking about yourself and whenever you're speaking about your ideas and opinions and that, and making sure that you're not putting yourself down in some way or diminishing yourself in some way. The third thing way that I would say to romanticize your life, this is a great one. If Bailey were on, this probably would've been our first one, but is curating your environment for joy. So I really like this because I am not naturally someone who. Realizes how my atmosphere or environment is affecting me. But I know that it does. There's so many studies on how environment, and especially like office spaces and places where you're supposed to be productive versus places where you're supposed to be restful, how the environment affects those things. So, and you pick up way more than you realize. So there are just some micro designs that you can make that can shift energy. So things like. When you, again, I'm gonna bring it back to music. Like when you start your workday, is there some, you know, a good music soundtrack? Uh, maybe like the whole, I feel like there are some really good movie soundtrack playlists on maybe Spotify or Pandora or something like that, like that, that you could put on that, you know, if you're. Distracted by music that might not distract you as much, but let's, you know, instead of racing to our computer, barreling into it and then like letting an hour pass, we're ferociously answering emails and then realizing like, oh, I'm not actually enjoying this moment at all. Can you like have a few things that you set up before you do that? Maybe putting on the music maybe. Maybe adjusting the lighting. You know, if you're in a room that gets natural lighting, open the curtains first. Jared's so good about this. In our house we have a lot of areas that have natural lighting and in the morning, it's just not something that really dawns on me to bring in the sunshine, but it makes such a difference. Oh, Edward's leaving me. But anyway, so. Lighting. If you get a lot of natural sunlight, like make sure that you're paying attention to that first. If you're in a room that you like lamp lighting better than the big lighting, you know, check that out. If you're in something that one of my coworkers does, because obviously you can't control the lighting if you're at your workplace all the time. One thing that she does is she has like an umbrella situation that she ordered on Amazon. She puts it over her cubicle. I don't know if this is making sense, but she, it goes like, it stands up behind her over her cubicle, and so it makes it so that she doesn't have kind of that glaring corporate light right on her, because also it gives her headaches. And so there are things like that that you can pay attention to. And then I would say one thing that you can really. That you can really pay attention to is the five senses. I feel like this is a really good starting place if you're curating an environment to promote joy and like presence is pay attention to the different, the five senses. So,'cause we, I feel like we all go to visual first, so obviously sight is, is first, you know, that's what we see. But what about what you hear? So like Music. What about smell? Maybe you could put on some essential oils. You could light a candle, you could just clean things up a little bit. If you haven't wiped things down a little bit in a while, then you could just clean things. Let's see, what else is there? Oh, taste. I guess you could, you know, make sure that your coffee tastes good or something. Make sure that you have a good snack to eat. I mean, at the same time, you could really, like, this is something that I noticed when I was. Having my clear aligners is you. When you get used to like brushing your teeth, so often you get a yucky taste in your mouth when you don't do that after you eat. So that's something you know you could adjust is like brushing your teeth, that sort of thing. And then what is the last one? So, sight, smell, taste. Oh, and touch. So this would be where you evaluate, is your chair comfortable? Are you cold? Do you need to bring in a blanket? Do you need to? Just like, look at any space, I'm focusing on work here right now, but on any space. So if the space is meant to be productive and but you wanna be present while you're productive and enjoy that time while you're productive, how can you make that happen? And then same thing if it's like restful, like say that you really wanna romanticize the bath that you're taking, which I just already feel like those are so romantic. Anyway. Even if they're even just by yourself. But can you, you know, light a candle, can you make sure that the lighting is a good place? Can you make sure that the water is a good temperature? Can you, could you buy, like, I recently got one of those body pillow bath things where it's. It suctions to the bottom of the bathtub, but it makes it more comfortable for you and you don't slip around as much in the bathtub and whatnot. Can you just like pay attention to those things and make sure that you're curating them because especially if they're places that you go every day and become mundane, it can be really easy to not curate them, but it's so important. The fourth thing that I want to talk about, fourth way to romanticize your life is specifically taking a moment to pause in the middle of something. Now, this is really, really hard. I feel like pausing can be really powerful. It's something I'm really bad at, so that's why I'm bringing it up. So the first thing I would say is. Dismissing logistics. So this is something that for me, whenever I have lots of plans or like I've got a very busy weekend or, you know, I, my schedule is full of all these things that I love, but then I'm not romanticizing them even though I love them. I'm not fully present and fully focused and fully, my mind is not. And my heart and my body or like my mind and my heart are not where my body is. So. One thing that you can do and that I've been trying to pay more attention to is just forget logistics. I know that some of you don't have this type of brain, but a lot of you do because if you are friends with me, then we probably attracted each other and we brought probably are both very similar in like being type A, being very organized, thinking about. You know, step one, step two, step three, step four, that sort of thing. So if you're listening to this, then you very well might be in that boat. If you're not great for you, help your people who are in this boat, because I just really appreciate whenever I can tell that people are fully present and focused because they're not paying attention to what time they have to get to the next thing, or they're not paying attention to, oh, well, should we have parked here? Or should we have, you know, should we, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I've been trying to get better about this, where I'm just kind of dismissing logistics and not focusing on that. You know, there's no point in talking about 30 minutes before we get to something that we've never been to before, what the parking's gonna look like, because guess what? Neither of us know what the parking's gonna look like because we've never been there before. So, or we've never been there on this day before. Something like that. I mean, yes, there is some preparation that might need, that would help, but. There are certain things like that where. We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend, a very romanticized type thing, and was really, really fun. But we didn't, we could just focus on the fact that we were excited to go to the pumpkin patch. It was our niece's first time going to the pumpkin patch. She's so cute. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna try to be fully present, fully focused, and just not. Worry about, oh, what are we doing next? What are we, you know?'cause we had a busy day that day. I had things before and after the pumpkin patch, but I wanted to be fully present and fully focused. And so what I did was I just kind of suspended, suspended. Thoughts of the logistics and the plans and the preparations and what's coming after. And I, you know, nothing is that serious. Nothing is that serious. So I was just like, you know what? We'll figure out what parking looks like when we get there and we'll figure out where the ticket booth is when we get there. And then once. We're there. You know, if everybody doesn't show up at the same time, that's no big deal. We can like check out the space, we can have an apple cider donut. You know, there are worse places to be waiting on someone or you know, not knowing what you're doing exactly. Not knowing what the plan is and whatnot. So that was something that I was like sitting in the moment and I was like, okay, this is where I can actually practice what I preach and just pause and just enjoy what's around me. Look around. Everything's beautiful at the pumpkin patch and just really enjoy it and feel like, feel the sun on my skin and feel, listen to the crunch of my shoes on the ground. I know that's cheesy and, you know, and just like, and get like a picture of the pretty flowers and, you know, different things like that. So that, that's one thing that I feel like, you know, just taking a pause sometimes whenever you're. Really, really worked up about the details and worked up about the plan, and worked up about like how this is gonna work out. Just take a pause and appreciate that you're even there, you know? So that's one thing that I would, that's one way I would say can work into romanticizing your life. And then the last thing that I would say, and this is something that I got from Brendan Bouchard, is his name, and he's written a couple of books and he did a. What's that called? Uh, key note at an event that I was at one time, and he would have like different mantras for when he entered the room. I think it was just for when he entered the room, like he, anytime he would go through a doorway, I think is what he said. He would say something to the effect of, I am, I'm a kind and caring husband. I'm a patient. Father, and I'm a. Better man than I was yesterday or like something like that. I really don't quote me on that because that's probably not what it was, but I loved this idea and I feel like the fifth way that I think of like romanticizing your life, or you can start romanticizing your life, is having a mantra for specific moments. So we did an episode about our favorite mantras for like filling our cups and having a cup filled life, you know, a while back. But these are mantras specifically that you can trigger whenever you enter a moment. So, for instance, when you walk into the room, like I just said, or when you wake up in the morning, so I had talked about on that mantra episode about waking up in the morning and saying, I, I. Oh, gosh, I always forget this one. I don't know why, because I, but like, when your feet hit the ground in the morning thinking, oh, oh, I wanna, I wanna change more than I wanna stay the same. So, or I wanna be better, more than I wanna stay the same. Or when you go to bed saying, I gave my full self to this day. I did my best. Today is in the past and I'm ready. I'm excited for a new opportunity tomorrow. You know, saying something like that. Or when you're on your way to work saying, today I'm gonna listen more than I speak. I am excited to offer my. Expertise or what I, you know, I'm excited to offer myself to this mi to the mission of the organization and I'm going to do my best. You know, something like that. And then I feel like this could also really apply if you have very specific moments with your kids, like when you wake them up or when you pick them up from school. It would be really good to just. Stop yourself and remind yourself of whatever this mantra is. So I feel like you kind of have to decide what it is that you value in order to set up where, what you're gonna say when those certain things happen. Also, you have to know your own life and your sequence of events in life in order to do so. So I feel like you have to know that, but I really love the idea of picking a mantra for a specific moment. And for a long time I've had the, I wanna be better, more than I say the same, or I wanna change more than I say the same, but I am really wanting to kind of let the cue of walking into a doorway. I'm really wanting to work on listening more than I speak and. Thinking, honestly, just thinking before I speak because I put my foot in my mouth a lot. So that's something that I really wanna pay attention to. And I feel like anytime I enter the room with a group of people, I'm gonna wanna say something like that to myself. So the five ways in summary that I mentioned, were turning your small habits into rituals, evaluating the language that you're using, curating your environment for joy. Using the power of the pause and then mantras for specific moments. So I will. Put that highlight reel, I guess in the show notes of the episode. But I would really encourage you to choose one of these way, decide, decide which one of these you wanna focus on this week and or even today. And pick one simple way to romanticize your life and then. Ta like tag us on social media. If you have a moment that you're like, Ooh, romanticizing my life at Failure Cups podcast inspired, or something like that. We'd love, love, love to see that. Or just share your moment with us. And I would definitely ask that you share this with someone else too. If you know someone who's been kind of down in the dumps like I've been. Or if you know someone who you feel like is good at doing this sort of thing and you wanna share it with them and ask them to hold you accountable to being more present and more. Mindful of their life and making it more of a romantic thing rather than a mundane thing, send it to them. Please just share this with anyone else you think would benefit from it. And until next time, thank you so much for listening and probably I'll have a guest on the next one. We'll kind of have to see how organized I am by then. But either way, I will see you next time and cheers.