My Five Star Personal Development Book Recommendations

After finishing 75 Hard, I was reminded how much I love incorporating a little bit of self-help/personal-development nonfiction reading into my everyday routine. I find it easiest and most helpful to add at the beginning of the day, just to start off on the right foot, but any time you can add this in CONSISTENTLY is great! 

Here are my top 5 book recommendations when it comes to personal growth:
1. Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
2. How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
3. Atomic Habits by James Clear
4. You Are a Badass Everyday by Jen Sincero
5. The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran

Do you have any favorites? I'd love to hear about them!

Love you, thank you!

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Transcript

Speaker 0:00

Hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. Today, I am talking about something that came up recently. If you've listened to previous episodes, you know that I recently finished "75 Hard," which you can look that up, but there's several things that you have to do in order to meet the parameters for "75 Hard," and it goes for 75 days. And one of them is, there's kind of a dispute. It doesn't seem very clear. It's either 10 minutes of reading or 10 pages of reading. I don't really know. I just did 10 minutes. And it is specifically, like, a nonfiction, self-help, personal development type of book is what it wants. So you're not reading fairy smut or anything like that. No, I'm not gonna lie, I was reading that too, of course. But it is specifically self growth, personal growth, self-help books, which ties in directly to the podcast because I love coming on here And Sharing about things that I've learned that are related to self-help or personal growth or personal development. So it does tie in really well with the podcast. But what it reminded me of was that Before "75 Hard," I had gotten out of the habit of reading personal development every day, or even listening. It could, uh, for "75 Hard," I don't think that they would count podcasts but you would count audiobooks. But prior to "75 Hard," I had fallen out of the habit of listening or reading any kind of personal development, and it was something that Seven, eight years ago, whenever I kinda started this personal growth journey, and physical and mental health journey and whatnot, I had been in the habit of, because the community that I was a part of, it was a coaching community. One of the things you, like, checked off of your list each day was some sort of personal development. So, people were constantly sharing what they were learning from personal development, little quotes that they had, and it really was just such a mindset shift for me because when you read personal development, it really changes the way that you think. And you might be someone who, like me, kinda rolled your eyes at or are rolling your eyes right now like, "I don't need self-help books. I don't need personal development books. I don't like that kind of stuff. It's really woo-woo." Which, by the way, a lot of them are not. A lot of them are very science-based. Or, I don't really need that." But I really think that starting a daily five to 10-minute habit of inundating yourself with ideas from others who have done cool things, things that you might wanna do, like writing a book, or starting a podcast, or starting a business, or having self-sufficient income or whatever that may be. I really think that surrounding yourself with the thoughts and ideas of these people can help you in whatever things that you're trying to achieve and things that you're trying to accomplish. And it doesn't necessarily have to be business-focused or physical-focused or... I mean, it could be relationship-focused. It could be if you're a parent, it could be parent-focused. If you are a teacher, it could be about education and about increasing your awareness of best education practices as new research comes out, or if you're a social worker, same thing there, right? It could be whatever it is that you're interested in and that you wanna improve. But I do think that having some sort of personal development, or even professional development, I guess some people might call it, having something like that every day, the reason that I believe that it is so helpful is because it changes your mindset to believing that you can do those things, too. So- Not that you have to become a millionaire or that you have to start a podcast or become a motivational speaker or write a book or any of the things that they are doing. But what it gets you out of the mindset is of kind of that victim mindset, like when you see someone else accomplishing something or you see somebody else doing really well and achieving their dreams and all those things. It helps you get out of the habit of going, "Oh, good for them, not for me. Good for them, not for me." And helps you to see it as though I could do that too. I could do anything that I wanted to. Like, the only person standing in my way is me. And recently I read all three... Well, maybe she has more, I don't know. But Mel Robbins, I read three of her personal development books while I was doing 75 Hard, and I've mentioned that a couple times on the podcast, that I was on a kick of hers for a while. And by far my favorite one of hers was Let Them Theory. But something that it reminded me of is all of the authors that write books like that, that write personal development books or self-help books or this is how you change your mindset type of books, they often have a story where they were in debt, they were struggling in their relationships, they were struggling in their job, they lost their job, they had a major death in the family. Like, they were in a really low place, and then they talk about the process of getting to where they are now. Because what you're seeing of them is their, chapter 50 in life, right? When you see them as the author and professional motivational speaker or really well-off person that they are now, and you see their wealth and their health and their success and all of those things, you're looking at their chapter 50. But really, what those books are about are about their chapter one, and how-- And sometimes even lower than that. Like, I'm sure that they think, chapter zero, chapter negative. The books are about how they got from chapter 50... Or excuse me, from chapter zero to chapter 50, And I think that that's really important to continuously remind ourselves of because it can remind us that anything that we want is for us. Anything that we desire to achieve is for us. We can do it,, and having a constant daily reminder of that is helpful. So, that's why I really like coming on the podcast and talking about what I've learned from specific books or audiobooks or podcasters about personal development and personal growth, is because I think it can remind us that that's me too. Instead of keeping us in this victim mindset or even just a mindset like, "Oh, I couldn't do that"- Getting us into the mindset of I can do anything. Literally, the only person standing in my way is me. What I don't change, I choose. And so I'm really excited to get into this. I'm just gonna share some of my top personal development books. There's so many more out there, and even more that, than these that I've read, but these are kinda my five-star personal development books, and I'm just going over five of them. So hopefully you really enjoy these. But if you're not convinced that personal development or incorporating this into your life would be helpful for you or something that you should do, just indulge me, right? Spend the next week, maybe two weeks, and spend five minutes. Just download a book. I... If you need help downloading a book in a totally legal way and getting your hands on a book, let me know. Otherwise, just go to the library, find one there, find a really good author, and start with that, and just start with, five to 10 minutes a day. I really think it can change the way that you see things, the way that you see the world and your place in it. So the first one I'm gonna start with, I already talked about just now, but Let Them Theory. This is by far... It, it's one of my more recent ones, but it's by far one of my favorites. And this is a great book if you find yourself feeling shackled by what people think of you or people-pleasing and wanting to do what others want, and just worrying so much about what's without instead of within., I don't know if that makes sense, but instead of worrying about you and your own personal needs and desires and whatnot, you're so worried about what is outside of you. This is a really good book for you. And the reason I think you should read it, because I think a lot of people get stuck on the title. The title is Let Them, and I think people get caught up on the let them part, and there's, actually a second part that she doesn't put in the title, but it's let me. And so I think that, excuse my language, but it's not a, the fuck them theory. It's not let them go do whatever they want, and I don't care, meh. It's let them, and then let me act accordingly. So if you struggle with people-pleasing, and someone's unhappy with you because you're doing something that you really like, let them have their opinion of you. Let them dislike what you're doing, and then let me act accordingly. And one of the quotes that I kept from her, I'm gonna share a couple quotes for each one. One of the quotes from this book that I really liked that I highlighted was, "You're so much stronger than anyone's opinions about you. Stop giving your power to other people and step into your potential. Let me live my life in a way that makes me proud. Let me make decisions that align with my values. Let me take risks because I want to. Let me follow the path my soul is turning me toward." And so I think that the reason that I really like this is because it emphasizes that, yes, let them is the first part, and oftentimes it's the hardest part, because it's not natural for us to let go of people's opinions of us. Ever since we were little kids, we walked into school, and we worried that people didn't like our outfits, or where am I gonna sit, or am I sitting at the right spot at the lunch table, or whatever things that we worried about. And so it's not natural for us to stop worrying about other people's opinions of us. But we can say, "Let them do this, and then let me act accordingly. Let me act in a way that lights my soul on fire. Let me act in a way that I'm obsessed with, and still let me act respectful and polite and honoring others and not putting others down or anything like that. But just let me focus on me and what I need to be doing and what, are my desires." I think it's a really, really good one if you do need to let go of that piece. And again, if you haven't read it because you're like, "Oh, I already get it. Let them theory. Let them do whatever they want. Uh." You should read the whole book. You really should. And if you've already read it, maybe this is a good reminder that this would be a good one to return to. The second one that I have, this is one that my husband and I both really like. It's called How to Win Friends and Influence People, and I'm just gonna share, one little note, 'cause this one is set up where each, each chapter is kind of a n- new core attribute or core fundamental practice that you can incorporate or eliminate so that you can have better relationships with people. But I think that the, the title is a little... It's not misleading, because it is about how to win friends and influence people. But it's not in, like, a manipulative way. It's in a way of appreciating people rather than manipulating them. And one of my favorite concepts from it was one of the biggest ways to influence people or win friends is becoming genuinely interested in other people. One of the quotes from the book is, "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them than in two years by making them interested in you." And this takes the pressure off of making yourself seem so great- And just becoming really interested in other people. And this, I, I know this sounds probably in contradiction to Let Them Theory, because that one's like, "Forget those other people." But this is what I'm saying about Let Them Theory. It's not like, "Forget 'em. Fuck 'em." Like, no, no, no. It still is respectful toward other people, and there are still people in your life that you want to have a good relationship with, and you want them to feel that you are interested in them. But How to Win Friends Influence People is more like how to strengthen those relationships, how to not... How to have less tension and conflict and people disliking you for the way that you're behaving, like your behaviors that you probably don't wanna have, that you probably don't see as, "Oh, let me behave this way that people dislike." Again, How to Win Friends Influence People, it's not about people pleasing, it's about having good, solid relationships with people. And especially in the workplace, I think it's really applicable, because if you constantly have tension in the workplace, or you're a leader in the workplace, and you want your team to respect you, and you want them to enjoy working for you, and you don't want all this turnover, it can help there as well. But that's just one concept from the book, and I really think that you should read the whole book if you haven't already, especially if you are a leader in the workplace. Or maybe this is a good reminder to go back and revisit it. The third one that I love, and this is one that I've read front to back and then restarted front to back, restarted front to back. I love this one. It's Atomic Habits by James Clear. And there are so many good nuggets in that book that I would recommend this book for if you are trying to make any sort of change in your life. If you're trying to start a workout routine, or you're trying to start a meal prep routine, or you're trying to start walking your dog more, or becoming a reader, or incorporating personal development into your morning routine, or drinking more water. Or even improving your relationship with your spouse. Maybe you're trying to start a routine of every time that you leave, you kiss each other before you leave. Whatever it is, Atomic Habits is all about, it's in the name. Atomic it's talking about atoms, so the tiny, tiny, tiniest molecules And the tiny, tiny, tiniest habits in your life that build up and they compound into making a great result, those habits are the most important ones Because they make up your life. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. So it's really, really helpful for when you're trying to make any sort of change, how to break that down into tiny habits. One of... The quote that I'll, the quote that I'll take from this one, because I'm a tracker girly, I love tracking, I love data, I think it's super helpful, and I always encourage people to keep a habit tracker if you're trying to start or break any sort of habit. But something that he says is, "Tracking your habit," and this is just one tip, but he gives so many tips in the book. But, "Tracking your habit keeps you focused on the process rather than the result. You're not fixated on getting six-pack abs. You're just trying to keep the streak alive and become the type of person who doesn't skip workouts." Which I love because he focuses so much in this book on identity-based habits and how you're trying to become the type of person who doesn't skip workouts. You're trying to become a fitness person, a healthy person, and that's just one example that he used here. But the best way to do that, like, you cannot improve what you lack to track because you have no baseline. You have no- nowhere to go off of. You have no idea how you're doing already, so you have no idea what you need to do to move forward. And so that's just one tip that he gives, and I feel like he focuses a lot on the process rather than the result. And ultimately, becoming obsessed with the process and becoming in love with the process is what gets you to the result because it helps you from burning out quicker, And it keeps you consistent. So Atomic Habits, love that one, especially if you are trying to start a habit or start a routine or anything like that. Highly recommend that one by James Clear. And if you have read it before, girl, go revisit it. This one, I, maybe I should have put this first because I feel like it's almost like a gateway personal development. It's really short to the point, Daily mantras or themes, or I can't think of the word that I'm thinking of, but You Are a Badass Every Day. There's a ton of You Are a Badass. Like, there's You're a Badass, You're a Badass With Money, You're a Badass Every Day. I think there's even more. But this one's a really good one. It's quick morning motivations, one-pagers. I loved doing this one for a period of time when I felt like my morning routine, I had to, shorten it a little bit. And so I was doing this one instead of doing a full 10 minutes. I was just reading the page or two of that morning one. And a lot of the time, it also give you, a quick little practice, like a breathing practice or a gratitude practice or something like that, that you could incorporate right then and there. I think that this one's really, really great. If you are not used to personal development, you're not used to having something in your morning routine, and you wanna incorporate personal development or mindset shift, this is a really good one that you could, you could just have the little book next to your coffee pot, and while you're making your coffee or putting creamer in your coffee, fixing up your coffee, you could just open it up and read the page for the day. Or if you don't drink coffee, obviously something else, but you know what I mean. Whatever you do in the morning, brushing your teeth, it would be one that you could incorporate really easy just to slowly start getting into the habit of personal development. And the last one, this one's a little bit more business-focused, so I would recommend this one if you are...- maybe you are a side hustle person, like you are trying to start a podcast, or you're trying to write a book, or you're trying to... My husband's building an app right now. This would probably be a good one for something like that. Or you have a network marketing business, some kind of side hustle. It doesn't have to be that. It could be in your actual place of business, but I do think that this is really helpful for if you are trying to do something entrepreneurial or business-focused. 12 Week Year is really good. It was one that I did to help me organize myself whenever I was, again, doing coaching several years back and helped me keep track of my clients and who I was reaching out to and what sales I was making and all of those different metrics that I like. This helped me shape my brain around how I could probably organize that, and then also just how to get more done in less time, because the idea of 12 Week Year is that at the beginning of the year, we set all these resolutions, "Oh, by the end of the year I'm gonna do this." But December feels really far away, so there's no urgency whenever we are in the month of February, and we have all year to get it done. There's no urgency. So it breaks it up into 12-week segments, and then even further down from that, and it shows you how every day, every action that you're doing Really can be made into your head like an urgent thing so that you make more progress quicker, and you are moving forward quicker and achieving more quicker. And again, I think that one's really good if you are in a business-focused thing or you're doing something entrepreneurial. Could be really, really helpful. The last thing I'll leave off with, I think that this is quoted in multiple of these books, honestly, but it's the Aristotle quote that, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellent is then not an act," but a ding, ding, ding, my favorite word, habit. But yeah, we're n- we are what we repeatedly do. So if we are repeatedly using personal development to change our mindsets, then we are someone who has a positive mindset. We are someone who goes into the day believing, "I can achieve anything that I want. I'm the only one standing in my way." And you can apply that to any part of your life. If you are repeatedly fighting with your spouse and choosing your ego over resolving that conflict or saying sorry, that's what you repeatedly do. That's who you are, right? On the flip side, if you're someone that says sorry and says goodbye to your ego and says, "Hey, I'll listen to you. I wanna see you. I wanna hear you," that's who you are if that's what you're repeatedly doing. The same goes for physical health. That's always the simplest one, I think, for me. But if you are someone who repeatedly works out every day, that is who you are. You're someone who works out. If you skip your workout every day, you're not someone who works out. Or if you talk to your grandma on the phone every day, you are someone who has a strong relationship with your grandma. If you don't do that, you're not that someone, and You get to pick who you wanna be. You don't have to be the person that has a great relationship with their grandma or works out every day or has a great relationship with your spouse. You get to pick and choose what is important to you, but it's the little things that make those up. It's the little things that you do every day that make a difference in those things. So hopefully this is helpful. I'll link these books in the show notes, but Hopefully if you haven't read some of these, I've inspired you to do so. Again, go get them from the library. I can help you get them downloaded, whatever you need. And I'd also love to hear what personal development books that you guys like, which ones have changed your mindset the most, and if this is a practice that you're gonna start doing. I love you. Thank you.